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100 Times This Funny Internet ‘Grandma’ Dropped Some Hilarious Pearls Of Wisdom On Twitter (New Pics)
By now, you’ve probably heard of the internet’s most beloved grandma, Myrna Tellingheusen, and her no-nonsense take on the world. Well, if you haven’t, we’ve already released quite a few pieces about her over the years right here, here, and here. But since she seems to have a treasure chest filled to the brim with hilarious pearls of wisdom, we just had to bring you the newest compilation of her tweets.
You see, the elderly church-going lady has been giving her devoted fans their daily dose of fun and cracking them up every day since 2015. With countless puns, absurdly funny witticisms, and spot-on insights, she gets fired up at judging the younger generation and poking fun at the stereotypes old folks face daily.
From humorously reminiscing about the good old days to offering her witty wisdom bites to anyone willing to listen, Myrna has been hailed and celebrated as the funniest grandma online, and she's nowhere near ready to give up her title. So continue scrolling to read some of the best quotes we collected from the account, upvote the ones that made you laugh, and be sure to share your thoughts with us in the comments!
This post may include affiliate links.
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K Wit 3 years ago
This is very important for women right now in the US. Just know anything you do on your phone will be used against you after our rights are taken away. This isn't only about abortion. This is also about our right to privacy. We will no longer have that right. Missouri has already been tracking period apps of their constituents. States will be criminalizing birth control too so be careful where you call your prescriptions in from. Arizona is talking about criminalizing condoms even it's getting that insane.
martin734 3 years ago
Do you have a link to the proposed legislation banning condoms? Do privacy laws not make what Missouri is allegedly doing illegal?
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elysse stands with the ukraine 3 years ago
Maybe getting the usb stick in the first time? Or waking up before your alarm? Popping bubble wrap?
Kise Miarse 3 years ago
I have an uncanny talent for this. My superpower may not be exciting, but it sure is useful. 😁
The internet has an endless supply of information for virtually anything, and there are no questions about it. But sometimes, it can start to feel full of negativity. Just think about it, every time we open social media platforms like Twitter to casually scroll our worries away, we seem to be bombarded with bleak headlines, fiery political debates, and troubling amounts of fake news.
Social media should indeed be a free-speech space where ideas are discussed and publicly disputed, but we need to balance the scales with a dash of positivity to avoid constant doomscrolling. Luckily, there has been a positive shift over the last few years where Twitter has also become the perfect arena for many online comedians to share jokes to make our days a little brighter. Hilarious outlets like Myrna's where she just tells her followers about life has become a breath of fresh air when the gloom online seems overwhelming.
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Loty 3 years ago
We made a bad turn somewhere when we decided that everyone's opinion is equal. NO!!! Doctor's opinion on medical matters is a lot more valid than trucker's and trucker's opinion on long haul trucking is a lot more valuable than doctor's.
Evil Hornet 3 years ago
I had a medical condition. Seen 4 Doctors (specialists), got 4 different diagnosis. Which Doctor's opinion was right? :) I will tell You - the one that was based on data, lab results and tets. Fact that someone is a Doctor means absolutely nothing as long as his opinion in given matter is not supported by strong evidence. Have a nice one! ;)
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Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Opinions are like buttholes. We all have them but some stink more than others
Beth S 3 years ago (edited)
I believe that the anonymity of the internet broke the "filter" that society used to have in regards to opinion and disrespecting people. People have gotten so used to saying whatever they want to strangers, however they want to say it, behind the safety of the internet that it started carrying over into every day social situations. Now I am not saying that is entirely a bad thing, but people need to work on what is appropriate to allow to filter through and what is blatant disrespect/flat out rudeness. Every thought that enters your mind does not need to come out of your mouth and I am pretty sure that is not what is meant by "speaking your truth".
Ogre Juan Canolli 3 years ago
Opinions Are Like"A....s" Everybody Has One And They All Stink !
Debbie Barnes 3 years ago
Or be told that their opinion is right and yours isn't.. As individuals, we're all entitled to hold 'our' views.
Hedgeh og 3 years ago (edited)
We do if those things are about non-factual concepts. Is coffee a good drink? Should lace curtains exist? Is "Trance" a good name for a child? All questions that involve OPINIONS therefore no one is right and no one is wrong. Does the sun exist? Are bodies made of cells? Does Ivermectin cure covid? When was Nefertiti alive? All questions regarding FACTS so no, I don't get to "hold my own view" on the answers. It is ASTONISHING how many people do not know the difference between opinions and facts.
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Mobey Drunk 3 years ago (edited)
Even Star Wars is becoming this. Honestly, I think Disney understands SW as much as collectors/antique stores do. If it has the name it's worth a sh!t load of money. The brand alone is not enough. George Lucas's vision and story telling made it a great film. They went in with no plan and made it up as they went along. Some of the good characters were very interesting and they scraped them (Rose Tico/Finn/Captain Phasma, Knights of Ren). What annoys me the most, is when they bought LucasFilm that included Lucas's drafts for 7-9. They threw it into the trash compactor and created a feeble attempt like Luke and Han trying to save the princess. Just like the wax paper cup from taco bell at the antique store, no ones buying it.
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Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
Sister lives in GA. 8+ hours lines, no saving places (if you left the lien you went to the back), no restrooms available and it was illegal to hand out water or food to those waiting. It was one of the few, primarily black, gerrymandered “blue” districts. The GOP politicians who run that state made it nearly impossible to vote. Let’s not even mention what they’ve done in regards to what is considered valid I.D.
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Shalini Pabreja 3 years ago
Let’s all stop pretending this is a democracy and the land of the free anymore. At least we will be ready for whatever nonsense they try to shove down our throats.
Ally MacMann 3 years ago
I think it might also be worth asking if it ever was. It certainly wasn't for everyone.
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Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I have a genuine question- why doesn't America have compulsory voting?
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Unforunately our votes dont matter and havent for a long time. They just use votes and elections divide us so we dont see they are the problem.
Mike Beck 3 years ago
Technically, they never have. Popular vote is "supposed" to guide electoral votes but, until recently, they weren't legally bound to follow their constituents' wishes.
Load More Replies...Even though the God-fearing elderly lady behind all the life advice has been conquering Twitter from the handle @PearlsFromMyrna for quite some time now, no one quite knows whether Myrna Tellingheusen is a real person or a character dreamed up by some comedian.
Myrna’s Twitter bio says she’s a "retired executive secretary for Mr. Stanley Bogenshoots, Senior Vice President at Hughes Aircraft. Living the good life in Southern California," and, most importantly, "Loves God." She also claims to live in Vaca Muerta Estates, a community which appears to be quite fake. So we thought it would be interesting to check who dear Myrna had deemed worthy to follow on the platform.
It won’t be surprising to hear that dear nephew Lyle Tellingheusen was the first one on the list. His location is set to "Aunt Myrna’s mauve guestroom" and his Twitter bio reads: "Temporary part time parking valet. Full time Stay at Home Nephew." Another user that caught our attention was Clarence CJ Jackson, the Postal Carrier for Vaca Muerta Estates who is fairly active on the platform. Well, living in such an active and amusing neighborhood sure gives the mailman plenty of things to say.
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Richard George 3 years ago
No. The Peter Principle is that you are promoted to a level above your competence. This happens to us all.
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Tonya Wallace 3 years ago
This is one of those things that I really need but never buy for myself.
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Ikr. I was just going through all of my meds in my head, and the different times of day I'm supposed to take them. Then there's the question "Did I take that med today?" I should probably get one of those things.
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Lo 3 years ago
Nah. If you have a medication that you have to take everyday, sometimes you forget and go"Hey, did I take my meds today?" You don't want to overdose, so that's what the organizer is for.
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David Brown 3 years ago
I was born before mobile phones were a normal piece of daily kit everyone could afford. They were ridiculously expensive, bulky as hell, had spotty service, and could bankrupt you with roaming charges. People paid top dollar for those shitty things and it's only function was to make static filled phone calls. I actually miss those times even though I don't know how we ever functioned before smartphones.
Firstname Lastname 3 years ago
Whenever we go on roadtrips, we'd always bring a baggy of coins for tolls and parking, and we always come home with a baggy of coins and new parking apps we'll never use again.
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
I'm sick of companies that require you to download their app. I just don't do business with them.
Jeremy Brown 3 years ago
Having to scramble for dimes and quarters for the meters meant getting out of your car and scrounging for change. Maybe an app in the comfort of your car isn't as bad for some.
There are many more inhabitants in the Vaca Muerta Estates who interact with one another on Twitter to some extent. However, there’s no way of knowing whether everything shared by the Vaca Muerta Estates population is real, or if the person behind this persona has decided to create their own virtual world. While the truth remains a mystery, Myrna’s hilarious insights can still charm and bring some genuine laughs to nearly anyone.
Moreover, the grey-haired grandma has collected a vast amount of fans simply by sharing her snarky, un-sugar-coated approach to life. Over 152K people enjoy reading her insightful wisdom bites on her neighbors, her church friends, her nephew Lyle, and other very serious topics.
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Beth S 3 years ago
We kind of do but I am pretty sure it is currently illegal to delete someone.... LOL
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Gibberint Dark 3 years ago
Yes... But it's going to bug that neighbor for DAY'S as the try to figure out WHY you waved at them...!!
Gibberint Dark 3 years ago
Edit: Yes... But it's going to bug that neighbor for DAY'S as THEY try to figure out WHY you waved at them...!!
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Adrienne Mcginley 3 years ago
I keep pointing my remote at a certain neighbor & hitting the MUTE button. I think my remote is broken.
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Doob 3 years ago
To see the virtual food in front of you on your table in your device, but not on the actual table
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David Brown 3 years ago
If someone ever tells you they know what's going on best believe they're lying.
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A few years back, Myrna told Bored Panda that she exists "in a modular home park in Rainbow, California, a sleepy little town just north of San Diego, and just south of Temecula."
"My story is long and fascinating. However, the short version of this story is I want to make social media fun," she added. "There is too much acrimony in the world right now, and people need to better their sense of humor."
The internet’s beloved retiree also revealed in a previous interview that after a rewarding career at Hughes Aircraft company, she decided to use her organizational skills at her retirement community of Vaca Muerta Estates and is a chair at the First Presbyterian Church, "where she also serves as a member of the Handbell Choir."
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She revealed that she started her internet presence on Twitter when her nephew Lyle "downshifted The Twitter onto my computer to distract me from writing tersely worded letters to our newspaper's editor." As time went by, the grandma realized that she "no longer needs to be invited to dinner parties to rearrange people’s furniture."
"I can still provide my sage, no-nonsense advice to people who are clamoring for a sense of decorum in a stressful world." But while the old lady has a huge audience following her every tweet, she still remains "true to myself in every sense of the word."
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Michael Largey 3 years ago
Two things : 1. Unlike churches, Taco Bell is open for business Monday through Saturday. 2. If you're going to sent to hell, eating Taco Bell food is excellent preparation.
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Adrienne Mcginley 3 years ago
Don't forget the smell of weed when the wind blows in the right direction!
BasedWang12 3 years ago
They are jokes people.. Jeezus. Jokes aside though, Im sure my recycling has pissed off a neighbor or two
Francis 3 years ago
she could be checking it out to see which neighbours are fun and which aren't? why assuming the worst in people?
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When it comes to the inspiration and strength to come up with such charming and witty wisdom to share with every lost soul out there, it all comes from the Holy Bible. "You will find no greater book that gives purpose and meaning when life sometimes seems hopeless," she said.
Myrna also considers herself a student of life, since "through careful observation from my binoculars, I gauge what’s happening around my neighborhood, whether its potholes in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot, Doris throwing beer cans on my yard, or Carol substituting Cool Whip for heavy cream with Cool Whip."
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Christopher Harris 3 years ago
You won’t either if you keep harassing old people about their expiration date! I’m sure some deity will smite you. Otherwise karma will reincarnate you as a male praying mantis
Load More Replies... Steve Fischer 3 years ago
People that don't even have their checkbook out until after their food is bagged annoy the hell out of me!
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Wait... are some stores still actually taking checks? I mean I have a checking account but that's mainly for paying my rent.
Felice Coles 3 years ago
Myrna should try driving exactly the speed limit. There's no end to the number of speed demons who think that 35 MPH means 75.
Blackstone 3 years ago
It's not the hurry for me. Most times people have places to be, and that's understandable. It's the rudeness some people feel is justified simply because they are inconvenienced as they have to wait their turn (for whatever) that gets me.
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ƒιѕн 3 years ago
That's not the White House. That's the US Capital Building, and that is Nancy Pelosi's desk.
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
I remember that Corning Ware! My mom had that pattern when I was a kid. That stuff could survive an atomic blast!
The grandma is confident that she knows all the right answers to many of society’s problems, and she’d help everyone "if people would only heed my advice." Myrna told Bored Panda she wishes she could tweet thousands of times a day, but, unfortunately, "casseroles don't make themselves."
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Sarah K 3 years ago
Fact: Steve is a sign twirler. And that's ok. Don't be defensive Steve. There is no Darlene. It's just a joke. And twirl that sign with pride Steve. You're right. A job is a job. Does your job have a quiet dignity to it? Well..no. But that's ok. Is your job necessary? Again, no. People would find that vape shop/cell phone store/mattress sale/payday loan store just fine without you. But what matters is, you're getting out of bed everyday and standing out there. Getting paid. So twirl Steve. Twirl away.
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Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
While ?! Keep dreaming Myrna. He's 40 living in parents basement with no skills, talent or girlfriend.
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Martin Kaine 3 years ago
I would suggest an upgrade to fracas. A good fracas is worth the time and energy.
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Blackstone 3 years ago
I had high hopes, but I'm beginning to hear of more cases near me again 😮💨
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Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Hemming and putting buttons on are the extent of my sewing. I could have used her seminar.
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Valerie G. 3 years ago
My financial advisor called and said he had to reschedule our appointment as he had used a swab and it broke off and he had to go to the doctor. I told him "my mom used to say don't put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow, and then she would demonstrate trying to put your elbow in your ear". Try it.
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Michael Largey 3 years ago
In some congregations, anything "new" is likely to be the spawn of Satan. (I wish I was kidding.)
Load More Replies... Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
Tell me more about the outburst and why sushi is a no go topic ?
Analyn Lahr 3 years ago
For a second I thought it was listing Lyle's employment history and I was confused. I was like "Lyle was Pastor Carmichael's moustache?"
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Debbie Barnes 3 years ago
Not really.. You'll be unloading it in the morning and refilling it in the evening. On and on it goes... :/
Quiltin Mammar 3 years ago
I do this every night including putting the tablet in the dispenser
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Adam Zad 3 years ago (edited)
It stands for "Grafics Interchange Format," so it's pronounced GIF, NOT JIF.
C.Douglas 3 years ago (edited)
Pretty sure what it stands for doesn't factor in how its pronounced. The "National Highway Traffic Safety Adminstration"(NHTSA) is pronounced nitsa. And the creator calls it JIF, so I will too
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Doob 3 years ago
thanks... but... my grandmother is a narcissist, and we just got her out of our house. She is also a horder, and and example of her being a narcissist, she fakes having celiac's disease, something I know, as she has had gluten several times, and is fine, and she buys sooooo much gluten free stuff, which is alot more expensive than the normal stuff, and this is only if she comes with my family to the store, and she desides that, even though all of our stuff is way cheaper than her disease food, that it is fair that we split the bill in half, even though her stuff is like $100, and ours is like, $40. Then, she had the f*****g audacity to come out of her hellhole (guestroom that she makes stinks like the devil's attic) at like, 9:30 pm, and tell me she wants something sweet. Well, she often made jello for everyone, one of the only decent things she has done, and I had yet to eat mine, well, guess what happend that night. She kept telling me that she wanted my jello, despite me-*continued*
Doob 3 years ago
saying no multiple times, and said then fine, she wanted icecream, and we had vanilla right there in the m***********g freezer, but oh, no, this *vanilla* was simply not good enough, she wanted the coffee icecream that was in the f*****g outdoor freezer, which I said "if you want it, go get it yourself" but of course because her feet were hurting "oh so bad" she couldnt walk down the stairs and up a f*****g ramp into a shed to get some f*****g icecream. So she stormed off back to her hellhole, and stayed there.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now, time for a different story from the same time she visited. My mother had just lost a baby, and, I was rushing to make dinner, and this f*****g asshat comes out of the f*****g hellhole, into the kitchen, and says "where is my food" I didnt f*****g make anything to be gluten free for her fake health problems, and, keep in mind, I was rushed, and I make good food, but at that moment, she crossed the line, so I just stopped talking to her for the rest of *continued*
Load More Replies... Diya 3 years ago
Do you pronounce it GIF as in giraffe or GIF as in gift. Or is it GIF as in rhyming with strife and knife.
Monday 3 years ago
I do GIF as in gift. I don't care if it's wrong or right, I don't care what the creator thinks or says. It's short for Graphics so I will GIF it like Graphics.
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Tom Hanlin 3 years ago
I'm sure that's fine advice for people whose grandmas are still alive and yet still remember what snailmail was. That might be a niche market.
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Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
Oh I remember this. I used to dream of the outfits I could own and the furniture I could decorate my home with when I had one. It was a magical journey and the internet will never replace it. One of my favorite pieces of clothing is a half slip that was "mod" during the sixties when I was a little kid. It was way too big for me but my mom bought it for me anyway. I thought it was the maximum in "cool". Still have it. Yellow with a couple of orange/red arrows. Why.....? Who knows. Very weird but certainly a collector's item. Still means a lot to me.
Annie Goodman 3 years ago (edited)
The full page add shows bell bottom pants in yellow. Google retro Penny's 4pc wardrobe.
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Seabeast 3 years ago
Oh lord, clothes were awful in the 70s. I still cringe when I remember some of the stuff I wore.
Tonya Wallace 3 years ago
I love the style, but hated the materials used. Petroleum glamorarium.
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Steve Fischer 3 years ago
If CVS only made their receipt out of two ply I'd never have to buy toilet paper.
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Steve Fischer 3 years ago
I find chocolate oak milk to be very tasty and malt like. You got a problem with this?
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Monica Martinez Castañeda 3 years ago
That's (another) thing I can´t understand, as a European, about the USA... It's never taken me more than 5 minutes to vote..!!!
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
It's a felony to order pizza while waiting to vote in Texas. They will arrest the pizza delivery person.
Kise Miarse 3 years ago
Because in many places, you may be in line for several hours.
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Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
I thought so, too, but then I realized that you’d have to sit there shivering while all the water drained. It was fun to prolong bath time & stave off bedtime that way when I was 3. I doubt I’d like it so much now.
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Thalia Lovering 3 years ago
What I don't understand when I see people with jammies and slippers outside is how can they not be disgusted to wear in bed something that they were wearing outside.
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Z Alexi 3 years ago
They're awful & garnishes don't make them yummy. It may stop kids for begging for food. It's greedy, not fun. Have a costume party~~no begging required.
Load More Replies... Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
NOOOOOOO!!!!! My neighbors gave out raisins this Halloween. I yelled at them. This is why so few kids trick or treat on our street anymore. Chocolate people......chocolate!!!!! I also always have small toys in case some child has food allergies. Trick or Treat has gotten kinda sad.
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Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
I've never been to a gender-reveal party. They didn't used to exist. Are you expected to bring gifts? I'm being serious. I have no idea.
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Memere 3 years ago
Yes! I hate those things. My husband suggested getting a couple of those once. Once.
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Display Name 3 years ago
If u were a vegetarian u woulnt have dis problem cause u wouldnt eat bacon......right?
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august is mentally unstable 3 years ago
you're missing the joke on all of these
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Fancy that 3 years ago
Whay is your point? Or should iI ask, your purpose? Have you any purpose, my dear?
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august is mentally unstable 3 years ago
don't tell me what to do. besides, I'm too motivationless for that
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Ozymandias73 3 years ago
Grogu in the cradle. Obi-Wan, Mace Windu, and (young adult) Anakin as the 3 wise man. A bantha for the donkey. Ani's mom would be the Virgin Mary.
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Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Me, I'm spiritually inclined. But......inflatable Nativity Scenes? I'm thinking the Virgin Mary should NOT be inflatable. I'm OK with everything else.
Evil Hornet 3 years ago
I think Santa is not either... But don't eben try to get rid of him! :P
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Thalia Lovering 3 years ago
One of the problems that your generation created. Trusting people based on their looks.
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Display Name 3 years ago
Dude, i wasat crackle barrel and da waitress called me babi(she and i r both girls) i just looked at her and said BABI!!! (IM 15)
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Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
I never understood this. Why have a towel you can't dry your hands on?
Kelli Girouard 3 years ago
And my holiday-themed kitchen towels are not to be used for actual towel purposes.
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Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago (edited)
I’m sorry Myrna,……….but Mac and cheese IS a thanksgiving dish
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Add New Image
What do you think ?
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
it's sad to me how many people didn't understand it's a joke page and not an actual old lady. they keep saying she's rude and has no sense of humor b/c the joke has gone right over their heads.
best turtle 3 years ago
im pretty sure half of everyone had to use google to search up the things she was talking about
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Feels like someone is pretending to be a grandma, rather than an actual grandma.
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
it's sad to me how many people didn't understand it's a joke page and not an actual old lady. they keep saying she's rude and has no sense of humor b/c the joke has gone right over their heads.
best turtle 3 years ago
im pretty sure half of everyone had to use google to search up the things she was talking about
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Feels like someone is pretending to be a grandma, rather than an actual grandma.
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