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Let’s talk more about the shadow self that we mentioned in our introduction. It is a concept originated by the late, great Carl Jung that refers to aspects of your personality you don’t want to be associated with. 

As licensed professional counselor and University of Phoenix professor, Dr. Rodney Luster points out, you can hear that shadow self manifest in phrases such as “I wasn’t myself,” or “They acted as someone possessed.”

Dr. Luster went on to explain that the shadow self may also be an accumulation of negative experiences, along with the repressed desires we hold at bay. In his article for Psychology Today, he noted that this darker side is part of the unconscious mind, complementing the ego. 

But by further suppressing it, Dr. Luster also pointed out that it may manifest itself almost involuntarily, like in awkward confrontations when someone triggers it. 

“Ignoring the shadow only emboldens this underdeveloped aspect in us, strengthening it in unhealthy ways,” he wrote.

The Center for Action and Contemplation supports Dr. Luster’s statement, noting that the more we attach ourselves to our projected, protected self-image, the more likely we are to develop a shadow self. 

“These are huge personas to live up to, and they trap many people in lifelong delusion that the role is who they are and all they are allowed to be.”

Dr. Luster reiterates that the shadow self isn’t necessarily all bad. However, it is also necessary to learn to understand the “Mr. Hyde” in all of us, as he describes. One way he suggests is through thorough self-reflection. 

In another article, he advised using practices like journaling, meditation, or therapy as actionable ways to become more aware of our shadow traits.

Nobody is perfect. We all have our moments of weakness and flaws, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s what makes us human. This is why Dr. Luster advises accepting imperfection and coming to terms with the fact that everyone has a “shadow side.” 

“Embracing our imperfections through acceptance can actually reduce the shame and guilt associated with our shadow traits,” he wrote.