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What do you think when you hear words like Miso, Emperor, or Kale? Well, I guess we’re all thinking the same. But what if I tell you this is how parents name their kids? And celebrities are notorious for that—just think of X Æ A-12, the baby of Elon Musk and Grimes, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple, and Suri, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s daughter. And it gets even weirder than that.

So today, we’re diving into a notorious collection of the weirdest, most unfortunate, hilarious names people have heard. It will make us question the role names have in our lives, and make us wonder if they should maybe be taken a little more seriously.

After all, the world is already cruel enough, and if there’s a name tag “Ana L.” on a guest card, it may as well be given a chance to show its nasty side. So, hey parents, yes, we’re looking at you, please tell us, what on earth were you thinking on that day?

#1

To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy

To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy

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#2

Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist

Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist

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The name, whatever it’d be, is really up to parents to decide. I mean, it would all be so much scarier if the kids could name themselves at the age they’re smart enough to decide. But since people can’t walk around with numbers as if it was some twisted Squid Game-like scenario, they have to be called something.

But little do people who have never been in such a position know, naming babies is harder than one might think. The one at the top of your list could get an automatic veto from your partner. And deciding to share your choice with your friend may lead to strong opinions you weren’t expecting. And if after all the sleepless nights, you come up with a combination, you come to realize that the initials are the last thing you want for the kid.

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#6

Harry Baals For Mayor

Harry Baals For Mayor

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SykesDaMan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a rapper in the 90's -part of the duo One and One- who named himself Harry Balz. And it was funny to me. But to have this as a real name is on another level! :)

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So how do you pick a name that will stand the test of time and the judgment of others? First off, you should get ready for the fact that the first name idea may not be the one. Ask yourself if this moniker will sound good, or rather, completely ridiculous in 10 years. Will other kids be able to shout that name out loud in a school yard? And will the child be condemned for explaining their name to every stranger they meet?

Avoiding passing trends when naming a kid is a great idea. Names to avoid include things like misspelled names (think Jakxsen and Rybekkah), random punctuation that serves no purpose (Prin’cess and D’Lilah), pop-culture references (Khaleesi and Katniss), word names with a strange spelling twist (Diezel and Spontaniouse), and out-there hipster names (Amadeus and McCoy).

#8

A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name

A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rich White is very common in the GOP. It's quite amazing that a lot of poor white keep voting for them.

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#10

Perfect Name For A Lawyer

Perfect Name For A Lawyer

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#11

Omg

Omg

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AnnaBanana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I certainly don't mean to be rude by asking this question (or racist or anything like that), but why to African Americans do this???

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#12

Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court

Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court

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#15

Rich Will Wanket

Rich Will Wanket

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#16

And The Award For The Worst Name Goes To

And The Award For The Worst Name Goes To

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#17

I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!

I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!

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#18

Sackrider

Sackrider

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Sarcastic Cow
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that pink-black colour combo and a word ´sax´ doesn´t help.

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#19

Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?

Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've never gotten that had it not been explained. What in the actual fk also... the baby does not find this amusing.

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#20

That's An Even Better Name You Have There

That's An Even Better Name You Have There

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#21

Gay Saylor

Gay Saylor

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#22

Boss Last Name

Boss Last Name

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#23

Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?

Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?

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#24

Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher

Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work in a prison and we had a volunteer come and do AA classes for the inmates and I s**t you not his name was Hennessey. I laughed so hard and was like yea that dude isn't a trigger at all.

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#26

When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough

When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough

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#27

Dr. Grossweiner

Dr. Grossweiner

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#29

Judy Graham Swallows

Judy Graham Swallows

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#32

Tiny Kox

Tiny Kox

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Wang Zhuang
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I refused to believe his parents named him Tiny. He's using that as a nickname on purpose. He's gotta be.

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#33

New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV

New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV

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#34

I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong

I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong

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#36

I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name

I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name

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#37

Fagley Dork

Fagley Dork

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#39

Ok Suk Whang

Ok Suk Whang

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K R
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

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#40

Worst Name Ever

Worst Name Ever

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Alethia Nyx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This to me isn't that bad, it's a perfectly normal Korean name that just happens to sound not quite right in English. It's not like the people who have knowingly given their child a ridiculous name.

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Note: this post originally had 72 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.

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