Remember our promise to deliver an article dedicated to each possible topic of puns? Well, we are continuing on our quest and while we should have done this one way earlier, let us fix this horrible blunder now by presenting you with our list of the best, the funniest, and the most adorable Harry Potter puns! 

Most of these cool puns are there just to make you snicker in remembrance of the events in the books or the characters you might’ve forgotten; you might have a hard time incorporating them into your everyday chats. But, if you do figure out a way to sneak them in, then we must congratulate you for being the most determined Potterhead there ever was! Of course, some of these wizard puns are a bit more universal, and you can use them even in a professional environment without anyone really noticing it. Except for you, of course, quietly giggling at your own ingenuity, that is. Every day is a good day with a Harry Potter pun in it! 

So, without any more talks, why don’t you scroll on down below and check out the adorable puns that we’ve found? There’s probably no need to tell you that they are just a smidgen down below because they are usually there. Where else would they be, am I right? Once you are there, though, don’t forget to give these silly puns your vote and share this article with anyone who’s into the Wizarding World - the best world of them all! 

#1

Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?

Because he has followers, not friends.

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-Under_Ender -
Community Member
1 month ago

"DEATH EATER'S ASSEMBLE, oh dang sorry lord voldemort wifi's down"

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#2

I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.

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Artsy Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe Dobby is messing with ya

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#3

Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!

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Terilee Bruyere
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm embarrassed to admit how long it took me to get this one.

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#4

What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Horcrocs!

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Laura Mende (Human)
Community Member
1 month ago

If the Dark Lord wore crocs, not even Bellatrix would have spend one minute with him...

#5

If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?

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Trash
Community Member
1 month ago

They's been muggedled *redneck accent*

#6

Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.

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Derpy
Community Member
1 month ago

Crusio!

#7

On a scale of 1-10, I am 9 ¾ obsessed.

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#8

What would you call The Boy Who Lived if he got a beard?

Hairy Potter.

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Nicole Tomme
Community Member
1 month ago

Go to Dahlonega, GA. There is a ceramics studio there and the owner has a huge beard and goes by "Hairy Potter." Someone even made a comic about him that is hung on the wall just inside the shop door.

#9

Why is Mad-Eye such a bad professor?

Because he can’t control his pupils.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

Be fair, he can control one at a time.

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#10

Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?

Nobody nose.

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Kat Anderson
Community Member
1 week ago

it must be hard to wear them if he needs them because he is like a snake.

#11

Where would Bellatrix play if she played the saxophone?

Jazzkaban.

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#12

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?

Why so Sirius?

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Ophelia Butz
Community Member
1 month ago

yeah, batman. why so sirius?

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#13

I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.

He was dead Sirius.

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Kayleigh A
Community Member
1 week ago

Noooooooo :( I just watched and read that book like a week ago

#14

How does Voldemort enter a room?

He slithers in.

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Artsy Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago

Reminds me of the classic... May I Slytherin?!🤣🤣🤣

#15

What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?

A Volt-demort.

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#16

Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings?

He was nosy!

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#17

Why do Gryffindors exercise?

All those Gryffindorphins.

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#18

"Harry, your godfather is dead.”

“Are you serious?!?”

“Yep. Dead Sirius.”

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Kat Anderson
Community Member
1 week ago

this is not funny. I cried when Sirius died!!

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#19

Why doesn’t Snape teach herbology?

Because his lily died.

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Artsy Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh my that was dark...

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#20

On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.

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Nicole Tomme
Community Member
1 month ago

Some call it expresso patronum and accidentally teleport their animal to platform 9 3/4.

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#21

How does HP get rid of a rash?

With quit-itch.

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#22

What do you call a Slytherin in winter?

A Shiver-in.

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#23

What do you call multiple potions teachers?

Several Snapes!

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#24

Why do Azakaban inmates have fresh breath?

Because of de-mentoes.

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#25

What do you call a postman that can speak to packages?

A parcel tongue.

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#26

How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport?

A quid each.

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#27

How does the head of Gryffindor see when swimming?

She uses McGonagoggles.

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#28

How do Malfoys enter a building?

They Slytherin.

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#29

What’s a dementors theme song?

“You take my breath away.”

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

“I take your breath away…”

#30

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.

The fifth one was dead Sirius.

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Trash
Community Member
1 month ago

c r i

#31

Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?

Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

Okay, I like a pun as much as the next person, but this was Donald Duck level.

#32

How do Hogwarts students get down a hill?

Walking… J.K. Rowling.

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#33

Why do you never see dementors in Starbucks?

They can’t stand espresso patronum!

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Artsy Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago

Looks like Starbucks stands to make a bit of money if they come up with the new Espresso Patronum

#34

What do you call two wizards who share a dorm?

Broom-mates.

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#35

What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School?

Spelling errors.

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#36

What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?

A ginger ail.

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Trash
Community Member
1 month ago

A ginger-ill. Not ail. it'll sound much better lol

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#37

Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?

Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

See, this is the kind of sophisticated pun I like 😌

#38

Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.

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#39

The way she speaks and looks at people, there is something myst-sirius about her.

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#40

What cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?

Hufflepuffs.

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Nicole Tomme
Community Member
1 month ago

It's an edible!

#41

Why did Snape throw away so many potions?

They were past their hex-piration date!

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#42

Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking Butterbeer?

It made him Moody.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

Do they mean Polyjuice Potion? Except then it wouldn’t really even be a joke, it’d be…true. I think I just ruined the joke. Sorry.

#43

Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?

Order of the Phoenix because that’s when it gets dead Sirius.

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Aura the rain/seawing hybrid
Community Member
1 month ago

why are there so many about Sirius T^T

#44

What is the difference between a wizard and a spelling bee contestant?

One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

I know I’m taking this too Sirius-ly (oh God, I’m infected), but you don’t realize conjure spells, do you? You cast spells, you conjure spirits and whatnot.

#45

How does Harry Potter end an argument?

He slams the Gryffindor!

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#46

You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.

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Nicole Tomme
Community Member
1 month ago

A little?

#47

Slytherins are big on Snapechat.

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#48

Why do wizards lock their doors at night?

They’re afraid to get muggled.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Maybe change the setting? I’m worried about burglars and people who want to “just pop round” to visit without prior warning when I’m home, not muggers.

#49

Which Hogwarts professor makes the best wine?

Severus Grape.

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#50

Where do Hogwarts students celebrate their wins?

Diagon Rallies.

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#51

Do you like Harry Potter?

Because I a-Dumbledore you!

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#52

I kept knocking at your dumble-door, but you did not answer.

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#53

Just because you are getting everything so weasley, you do not respect it.

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#54

"Can I please have some mungo ice Cream?"

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#55

From what all I know about you, all I can say is that you are a riddikulus person.

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#56

Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school?

Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.

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#57

Why did Harry Potter get detention?

Because he was cursing in class.

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Artsy Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago

Or it could be because he was not cursing

#58

Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?

He was looking in the Ron places.

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Artsy Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago

Hermione should be at the Ron places

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#59

How does the headmaster get into Hogwarts?

Through a Dumble-door!

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#60

What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?

Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

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#61

McGonagall is a good teacher, but she can be catty.

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#62

Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?

Up his sleeve-y!

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#63

What kind of laugh does Newt Scamander make?

A bowchuckle.

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#64

Why was Ron shown the Dumbledore?

He kept making terrible Potterpuns.

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#65

Why is Ollivander never home?

He’s a wanderer.

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#66

What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?

Harry Trotter.

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#67

Ron can Weasly make his way out of anything.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

No.

#68

But of curse, magic is hard.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago

No, for the exact same reason as the other one. Aargh.

#69

Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing?

Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.

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#70

What did one Gryffindor say to another?

I Gryffin-adore you!

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#71

Growing up in Voldemort’s family was a Gaunting task.

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BoredPip
Community Member
1 month ago

XD, was that even in the movies?

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#72

Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets?

He's a-Fred!

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#73

Why was everyone avoiding Hermione?

She was Grangerous.

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#74

How do Hogwarts students go on field trips?

They take the Albus!

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ACatInPandasClothing
Community Member
1 month ago

And they go to the Alp(u)s!

#75

What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool?

Penelope, Clearwater!

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BoredPip
Community Member
1 month ago

Nearly forgot about her XD

#76

Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch?

I think Oliver Wood.

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#77

Why are all the girls so obsessed with Oliver Wood?

He’s a real keeper!

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#78

Harry Otter.

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BoredPip
Community Member
1 month ago

Noooooo, I was too late publishing this idea

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#79

Why did Fred shave his face?

Ron said he looked like a Hairy Potter.

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#80

What do Hogwarts students give their dogs to change their coat colour?

Collie-juice potion.

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#81

What do you call a hedgehog skateboarding in Hogwarts?

Knarl-y.

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#82

What do you call someone who is half transfigured into a cat?

Purr-people.

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#83

You can go there alone but make sure that there is no Granger.

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ACatInPandasClothing
Community Member
1 month ago

r/nocontext

#84

He will s-muggle the gold across the sea.

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#85

Why did Luna get Hagrid's signature?

She is a giant fan.

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ACatInPandasClothing
Community Member
1 month ago

r/nopunchline

#86

Which Hogwarts teacher gets the blame?

Professor Snape-Goat.

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#87

Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?

Because she gives him hugs and hisses.

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#88

What do you call a coughing quidditch commentator?

A Weasley!

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#89

It’s important not to jump to the Ron conclusion!

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#90

Owl ask the questions in this potions class.

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ACatInPandasClothing
Community Member
1 month ago

in this care of magical creatures class

#91

Don’t be so muggle-headed about it.

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#92

There is no time for dawdling, you better Harry up.

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#93

You must admit that Harry Potter is a myst-sirius novel at times.

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#94

Wizards have a keen sense of spell!

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#95

All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.

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#96

Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts?

For black magic.

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#97

What mints does Hogwarts promote?

Enchant mints.

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#98

What’s Harry Potter’s motto?

Neville, give up!

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#99

It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

I don’t even get this one. Edit: Oh, wait. Is it “fit”? [crickets]

#100

You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.

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BoredPip
Community Member
1 month ago

Yay, Ravenclaw :D

#101

Draco’s friends are a bit Crabbey.

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#102

When you get sorted, you need to make a Snape decision to become Slytherin.

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#103

You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.

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#104

There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.

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#105

Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?

They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!

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#106

What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?

A dumbbell door.

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-Under_Ender -
Community Member
1 month ago

THIS ONE'S REALLY FUNNY

#107

I think I should go and talk to her because she look a-dumbledore-able.

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#108

For you, dumble-door of my house is always open.

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#109

You are siriusly ridiculous if you do not like Harry Potter.

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ACatInPandasClothing
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Siriusly Ridikkulous!

#110

When I went to her place, she made a potter tea.

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-Under_Ender -
Community Member
1 month ago

A POT 'O' TEA PLEASE

#111

It looked okay from outside but it was a ganger-ous place.

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#112

It is high time that you should start taking magic severus-ly.

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#113

You must remain quietus while I am speaking.

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#114

You don’t find Harry Potter funny?

There is something Ron with you!

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-Under_Ender -
Community Member
1 month ago

this one's awesome

#115

They never said Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.

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#116

I chant get enough of Harry Potter.

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#117

Let me tell you the Pottercularly perfect Harry Potter pun.

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#118

Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.

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ACatInPandasClothing
Community Member
1 month ago

No, actually it would be Potions.

#119

When you’re a snitch, sometimes it’s a beater pill to swallow.

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#120

What do you call first-class mail at Hogwarts?

The Hogwarts express.

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#121

Why didn’t the students get 10s on their papers?

They needed 9 3/4s.

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#122

Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix not speak?

He had a Fawkes tongue.

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#123

Please don’t Chang the subject!

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#124

Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.

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#125

You have to baron mind that Slytherins can go bad.

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#126

What type of music does Hagrid like?

Hinky-punk.

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#127

Why did Harry change his uniform?

It was too quid-itchy.

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#128

Why were the Durselys overweight?

They had to many milk Dudleys.

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#129

What is bigfoot’s favorite book?

Hairy Potter.

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#130

You think it is shortcut but it might be the Ron way.

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#131

You cannot get everything so Weasley.

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-Under_Ender -
Community Member
1 month ago

HAHA

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#132

I looked at him and could feel butterbeer in my stomach.

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#133

As long as I take, you keep giving me a lot of crup.

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#134

I do not like talking to him, he gives a lot of crup.

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#135

If you want to hear what is being said, stay quietus.

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#136

It is my responsibility now. Owl take care of it.

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#137

She brought me such a nice gift. I absolutely gryffin-adore her.

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#138

Can you witch this watch?

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#139

What do you call the center of the orange in Hogwarts?

The Neville of the orange.

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