139 Harry Potter Puns That Every Potterhead Will Find Amusing
Remember our promise to deliver an article dedicated to each possible topic of puns? Well, we are continuing on our quest and while we should have done this one way earlier, let us fix this horrible blunder now by presenting you with our list of the best, the funniest, and the most adorable Harry Potter puns!
Most of these cool puns are there just to make you snicker in remembrance of the events in the books or the characters you might’ve forgotten; you might have a hard time incorporating them into your everyday chats. But, if you do figure out a way to sneak them in, then we must congratulate you for being the most determined Potterhead there ever was! Of course, some of these wizard puns are a bit more universal, and you can use them even in a professional environment without anyone really noticing it. Except for you, of course, quietly giggling at your own ingenuity, that is. Every day is a good day with a Harry Potter pun in it!
So, without any more talks, why don’t you scroll on down below and check out the adorable puns that we’ve found? There’s probably no need to tell you that they are just a smidgen down below because they are usually there. Where else would they be, am I right? Once you are there, though, don’t forget to give these silly puns your vote and share this article with anyone who’s into the Wizarding World - the best world of them all!
Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has followers, not friends.
I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.
Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!
What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?
If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
On a scale of 1-10, I am 9 ¾ obsessed.
What would you call The Boy Who Lived if he got a beard?
Why is Mad-Eye such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils.
Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
Where would Bellatrix play if she played the saxophone?
What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
Why so Sirius?
I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.
He was dead Sirius.
How does Voldemort enter a room?
He slithers in.
What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings?
He was nosy!
Why do Gryffindors exercise?
All those Gryffindorphins.
"Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?”
“Yep. Dead Sirius.”
Why doesn’t Snape teach herbology?
Because his lily died.
On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.
How does HP get rid of a rash?
What do you call a Slytherin in winter?
What do you call multiple potions teachers?
Why do Azakaban inmates have fresh breath?
Because of de-mentoes.
What do you call a postman that can speak to packages?
A parcel tongue.
How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport?
A quid each.
How does the head of Gryffindor see when swimming?
She uses McGonagoggles.
How do Malfoys enter a building?
What’s a dementors theme song?
“You take my breath away.”
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.
Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.
How do Hogwarts students get down a hill?
Walking… J.K. Rowling.
Why do you never see dementors in Starbucks?
They can’t stand espresso patronum!
What do you call two wizards who share a dorm?
What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School?
What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?
A ginger ail.
Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.
The way she speaks and looks at people, there is something myst-sirius about her.
What cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?
Why did Snape throw away so many potions?
They were past their hex-piration date!
Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking Butterbeer?
It made him Moody.
Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?
Order of the Phoenix because that’s when it gets dead Sirius.
What is the difference between a wizard and a spelling bee contestant?
One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.
How does Harry Potter end an argument?
He slams the Gryffindor!
You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
Slytherins are big on Snapechat.
Why do wizards lock their doors at night?
They’re afraid to get muggled.
Which Hogwarts professor makes the best wine?
Where do Hogwarts students celebrate their wins?
Do you like Harry Potter?
Because I a-Dumbledore you!
I kept knocking at your dumble-door, but you did not answer.
Just because you are getting everything so weasley, you do not respect it.
"Can I please have some mungo ice Cream?"
From what all I know about you, all I can say is that you are a riddikulus person.
Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school?
Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
Why did Harry Potter get detention?
Because he was cursing in class.
Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in the Ron places.
How does the headmaster get into Hogwarts?
Through a Dumble-door!
What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?
Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
McGonagall is a good teacher, but she can be catty.
Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!
What kind of laugh does Newt Scamander make?
Why was Ron shown the Dumbledore?
He kept making terrible Potterpuns.
Why is Ollivander never home?
He’s a wanderer.
What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
Ron can Weasly make his way out of anything.
But of curse, magic is hard.
Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing?
Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.
What did one Gryffindor say to another?
I Gryffin-adore you!
Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets?
Why was everyone avoiding Hermione?
She was Grangerous.
How do Hogwarts students go on field trips?
They take the Albus!
What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool?
Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch?
I think Oliver Wood.
Why are all the girls so obsessed with Oliver Wood?
He’s a real keeper!
Why did Fred shave his face?
Ron said he looked like a Hairy Potter.
What do Hogwarts students give their dogs to change their coat colour?
What do you call a hedgehog skateboarding in Hogwarts?
What do you call someone who is half transfigured into a cat?
You can go there alone but make sure that there is no Granger.
He will s-muggle the gold across the sea.
Why did Luna get Hagrid's signature?
She is a giant fan.
Which Hogwarts teacher gets the blame?
Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
Because she gives him hugs and hisses.
What do you call a coughing quidditch commentator?
It’s important not to jump to the Ron conclusion!
Owl ask the questions in this potions class.
Don’t be so muggle-headed about it.
There is no time for dawdling, you better Harry up.
You must admit that Harry Potter is a myst-sirius novel at times.
Wizards have a keen sense of spell!
All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.
Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts?
For black magic.
What mints does Hogwarts promote?
What’s Harry Potter’s motto?
Neville, give up!
It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.
You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.
Draco’s friends are a bit Crabbey.
When you get sorted, you need to make a Snape decision to become Slytherin.
You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.
There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.
Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?
They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!
What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.
I think I should go and talk to her because she look a-dumbledore-able.
For you, dumble-door of my house is always open.
You are siriusly ridiculous if you do not like Harry Potter.
When I went to her place, she made a potter tea.
It looked okay from outside but it was a ganger-ous place.
It is high time that you should start taking magic severus-ly.
You must remain quietus while I am speaking.
You don’t find Harry Potter funny?
There is something Ron with you!
They never said Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.
I chant get enough of Harry Potter.
Let me tell you the Pottercularly perfect Harry Potter pun.
Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.
When you’re a snitch, sometimes it’s a beater pill to swallow.
What do you call first-class mail at Hogwarts?
The Hogwarts express.
Why didn’t the students get 10s on their papers?
They needed 9 3/4s.
Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix not speak?
He had a Fawkes tongue.
Please don’t Chang the subject!
Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.
You have to baron mind that Slytherins can go bad.
What type of music does Hagrid like?
Why did Harry change his uniform?
It was too quid-itchy.
Why were the Durselys overweight?
They had to many milk Dudleys.
What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
You think it is shortcut but it might be the Ron way.
You cannot get everything so Weasley.
I looked at him and could feel butterbeer in my stomach.
As long as I take, you keep giving me a lot of crup.
I do not like talking to him, he gives a lot of crup.
If you want to hear what is being said, stay quietus.
It is my responsibility now. Owl take care of it.
She brought me such a nice gift. I absolutely gryffin-adore her.
Can you witch this watch?
What do you call the center of the orange in Hogwarts?
The Neville of the orange.