139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride
Remember our promise to deliver an article dedicated to each possible topic of puns? Well, we are continuing our quest, and while we should have done this one way earlier, let us fix this horrible blunder now by presenting you with our list of the best, the most adorable, and funniest Harry Potter jokes and puns!
Most of these Harry Potter memes, funny yet cute, are there just to make you snicker in remembrance of the events in the books or the characters you might’ve forgotten; you might have a hard time incorporating them into your everyday chats. But if you do figure out a way to sneak them in, then we must congratulate you for being the most determined Potterhead there ever was!
Of course, some of these wizard puns and Harry Potter memes, clean and funny, are a bit more universal, and you can use them even in a professional environment without anyone really noticing it. Except for you, of course, quietly giggling at your own ingenuity, that is. Every day is a good day with a Harry Potter pun in it!
Funny Harry Potter Memes & Harry Potter Puns for Witches & Wizards
To cater to the hilarious needs of diverse Potterheads, we have collected puns for all. From Harry Potter jokes for kids to the funniest Harry Potter memes, we are here to amuse Potterheads of all ages.
So, without any more talks, why don’t you scroll below and check out the hilarious memes, Harry Potter and his Wizarding World related, that we’ve found? There’s probably no need to tell you that they are just a smidgen down below because they are usually there. Where else would they be, am I right?
Once you are there, though, don’t forget to give these silly and funny Harry Potter jokes your vote and share this article with anyone who’s into the Wizarding World - the best world of them all!
Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has followers, not friends.
Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!
I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.
What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
On a scale of 1-10, I am 9 ¾ obsessed.
I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.
He was dead Sirius.
Why is Mad-Eye such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils.
If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
Where would Bellatrix play if she played the saxophone?
What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
Why so Sirius?
Why do Azakaban inmates have fresh breath?
Because of de-mentoes.
What would you call The Boy Who Lived if he got a beard?
What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
"Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?”
“Yep. Dead Sirius.”
On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.
What do you call a postman that can speak to packages?
A parcel tongue.
Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings?
He was nosy!
How does the head of Gryffindor see when swimming?
She uses McGonagoggles.
What do you call multiple potions teachers?
Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking Butterbeer?
It made him Moody.
What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School?
Why do Gryffindors exercise?
All those Gryffindorphins.
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.
How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport?
A quid each.
What do you call a Slytherin in winter?
How do Hogwarts students get down a hill?
Walking… J.K. Rowling.
Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.
How does HP get rid of a rash?
What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?
Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Slytherins are big on Snapechat.
What’s a dementors theme song?
“You take my breath away.”
Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.
McGonagall is a good teacher, but she can be catty.
How do Malfoys enter a building?
Why do you never see dementors in Starbucks?
They can’t stand espresso patronum!
Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?
Order of the Phoenix because that’s when it gets dead Sirius.
What do you call two wizards who share a dorm?
What is the difference between a wizard and a spelling bee contestant?
One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.
How does Harry Potter end an argument?
He slams the Gryffindor!
Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing?
Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.
Where do Hogwarts students celebrate their wins?
The way she speaks and looks at people, there is something myst-sirius about her.
Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school?
Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
Why did Harry Potter get detention?
Because he was cursing in class.
What cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?
Why is Ollivander never home?
He’s a wanderer.
Why was everyone avoiding Hermione?
She was Grangerous.
What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?
A ginger ail.
What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool?
Why are all the girls so obsessed with Oliver Wood?
He’s a real keeper!
Which Hogwarts professor makes the best wine?
Just because you are getting everything so weasley, you do not respect it.
"Can I please have some mungo ice Cream?"
Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in the Ron places.
How does the headmaster get into Hogwarts?
Through a Dumble-door!
Why did Snape throw away so many potions?
They were past their hex-piration date!
Which Hogwarts teacher gets the blame?
What kind of laugh does Newt Scamander make?
Ron can Weasly make his way out of anything.
You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts?
For black magic.
What mints does Hogwarts promote?
Why do wizards lock their doors at night?
They’re afraid to get muggled.
Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets?
What do Hogwarts students give their dogs to change their coat colour?
I kept knocking at your dumble-door, but you did not answer.
From what all I know about you, all I can say is that you are a riddikulus person.
Why was Ron shown the Dumbledore?
He kept making terrible Potterpuns.
It’s important not to jump to the Ron conclusion!
But of curse, magic is hard.
Wizards have a keen sense of spell!
What did one Gryffindor say to another?
I Gryffin-adore you!
There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.
Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch?
I think Oliver Wood.
What do you call a hedgehog skateboarding in Hogwarts?
Do you like Harry Potter?
Because I a-Dumbledore you!
He will s-muggle the gold across the sea.
You don’t find Harry Potter funny?
There is something Ron with you!
Draco’s friends are a bit Crabbey.
How do Hogwarts students go on field trips?
They take the Albus!
What do you call someone who is half transfigured into a cat?
You can go there alone but make sure that there is no Granger.
What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.
Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!
Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
Because she gives him hugs and hisses.
What do you call a coughing quidditch commentator?
They never said Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.
Owl ask the questions in this potions class.
Don’t be so muggle-headed about it.
There is no time for dawdling, you better Harry up.
Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.
You must admit that Harry Potter is a myst-sirius novel at times.
All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.
What do you call first-class mail at Hogwarts?
The Hogwarts express.
What’s Harry Potter’s motto?
Neville, give up!
Please don’t Chang the subject!
It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.
You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.
When you get sorted, you need to make a Snape decision to become Slytherin.
You have to baron mind that Slytherins can go bad.
Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?
They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!
Why did Fred shave his face?
Ron said he looked like a Hairy Potter.
What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
I think I should go and talk to her because she look a-dumbledore-able.
For you, dumble-door of my house is always open.
You are siriusly ridiculous if you do not like Harry Potter.
When I went to her place, she made a potter tea.
It looked okay from outside but it was a ganger-ous place.
It is high time that you should start taking magic severus-ly.
Why did Luna get Hagrid's signature?
She is a giant fan.
I chant get enough of Harry Potter.
Let me tell you the Pottercularly perfect Harry Potter pun.
When you’re a snitch, sometimes it’s a beater pill to swallow.
Why didn’t the students get 10s on their papers?
They needed 9 3/4s.
Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix not speak?
He had a Fawkes tongue.
Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.
You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.
What type of music does Hagrid like?