35 Jokes That Programmers Will Definitely Relate To, As Shared In This Online Group

Forty-Two 4 years ago

That is literally programming

3points

Robert T 4 years ago

...until they replace the clients with Robots!

1point

John Gooden 4 years ago

Oh dear God yes, on so many occasions I have told people that they will have to explain further.

0points

Loren Pechtel 4 years ago

This is simply the truth, not a joke.

0points

JLaw 4 years ago

😂😂😂 oh that's a good one!!

0points

Id row 4 years ago

I was nearing the end of a huge program that had thousands of lines of code and 2 days to deadline was asked to make a major change. When I politely told them they were out of their minds, they said, "Can't you just cut and paste?" I actually had that quote printed and hung it on my wall with the person's name under it.

0points

Gyro Pilot 4 years ago

True dat. Then again there's the time I spec'd a job for a developer: deliverable was to be a 100-line table. I wrote up the method and biz rules, then illustrated the header, five lines of the report and end with "etc." You know damned well that all that I got back were the header and five lines that I had illustrated...

0points

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

Also Karens would be destroyed with logic.

0points

Hannah Bloomfield 4 years ago

Same applies to lawyers!

0points

#2

Loading

Final score:

283points

POST

Something 4 years ago

Some browsers can now be set to mute by default.

27points

qwerty 4 years ago

I have a cheap Chromebook that does that. You can also just change the permissions for a website/app.

1point

Blakkur Sverrir 4 years ago

Can't upvote this enough

9points

Marta Fleter 4 years ago

You know it's not the developers, it's the marketing team writing the brief that wants that...

4points

Caroline 4 years ago

Autoplay is so annoying, especially when it takes a while for the cross to appear.

4points

earringnut 4 years ago

I especially hate it when the video stays on the screen no matter how much I scroll down. It's like the web master is saying, "Go to another site please."

5points

ni4erta 4 years ago

What? Web developers have nothing to do with autoplay. Most players (YouTube, Vimeo, default players in Wordpress builders) let anyone easily set them to autoplay, and the decision makes the marketing team, product management, etc., not your "dear web developers". So many upvotes, srsly...

2points

Maurettis 4 years ago

Know this: web developers obey orders. So, that autoplay you're mentionins is as hideous to whoever is putting the trigger in, as it is to you

2points

Guy MacGregor 4 years ago

This threads is about dev jokes, and the most upvoted post is a jokeless complain...

2points

Piotr Las 4 years ago

tenor-602a...ef2670.png

1point

Amy Grant 4 years ago

How can I completely mute Instagram?

1point

Roshan Dash 4 years ago

The tweet is 3 years old people. Videos cannot autoplay with sound these days.. They can only autoplay while muted.

1point

For a big part of the population, the IT world ends with the system update on your computer screen. You press ‘agree’ and go about the rest of the day. But sometimes, the programming world trolls us big time, like Samsung, who accidentally sent out a mystery alert to thousands of devices yesterday night.

People reacted immediately, claiming the alert woke them up and wanting to find out what it was all about. After all, getting a ‘1’ notification looks very suspicious indeed.

But Samsung isn’t the first company to send out bizarre notifications to a wide audience of clients. Last year, OnePlus accidentally did the same by sending odd text in Chinese characters, which turned out to be an internal test for a software update (and which obviously failed).

#3

Programmers Know The Risks Involved!

Final score:

267points

POST

My O My 4 years ago

Yep, can confirm

43points

Wyn Williams 4 years ago

Been in IT for nearly 30 years and completely agree :)

10points

Marnie 4 years ago

Developer here since 1997 and I also completely agree. I resisted smart phone for the same reason.

3points

Swyft 4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Robert T 4 years ago

Not true. My home if full of smart home stuff that I programmed myself!

6points

Wyn Williams 4 years ago

Which means you can trust it more

6points

Maurettis 4 years ago

True tech "nerds" don't trust tech a bit.

5points

Thomas Duncan 4 years ago

Wish I could upvote 10^n times

5points

James016 4 years ago

I have an Echo which is actually really useful. It keeps my son occupied :D

2points

KelBel 4 years ago

And So. Many. ID10T errors to boot! Can't forget those

1point

Seabeast 4 years ago

Ha ha! I'm neither a programer nor an engineer, but I don't want "smart" technology running my house either.

1point

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 4 years ago

THIS. I'm not even a programmer but I intend to be as low-tech as possible in my everyday life. All kinds of safe and useful technologies had already been invented by 2005. We can live very well without all the intrusive and expensive connected crap that was released ever since.

1point

Giles McArdell 4 years ago

I meet all these except Alexa - I do have an echo in my kitchen which I use just for my shopping list - it's difficult to write out a shopping list while in the middle of cooking (see "Why Programmers like Cooking" above).

1point

Dorothy Cloud 4 years ago

I can agree with that!

0points

#4

Whats The Best Thing You've Found In Code?

Final score:

266points

POST

Jane Martin 4 years ago

all the time

33points

Wyn Williams 4 years ago

We used to add a block in our .cfg files that said warning, below here be dragons meaning don't screw with this stuff :)

15points

Roe Rainrunner 4 years ago

At least they commented it!! Usually it's not commented and 3000 developers struggle with deleting it and trying to figure out, what's wrong :D

12points

Tami 4 years ago

Now that's a useful comment!

6points

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

Kudos for comments. I've been handed plenty of code that has very few and the original dev left the company ten years prior.

3points

Gyro Pilot 4 years ago

I don't get why people do that. Laziness I suppose.

0points

elfin Premium 4 years ago

When I worked as a technician, we had a switcher with a hard-to-figure problem. Finally one of the techs placed both hands on it and ordered "Heal!" It started working. It was owned by the Osmonds.

1point

phil blanque 4 years ago

Ha! The sacred Black Boxes built by someone who retired 10 years ago ... never to be opened.

1point

M. Brown 4 years ago

I've had something like this. Things suddenly stopped working and couldn't debug it either, it just wouldn't load properly into a debugger. So, put a couple of print statements in and the program worked again. It turned out that when turning up the level of optimization for the compiler, it stopped working but something in the print statement allowed (probably an alignment error or some such) the program to function well. The optimization was important for the program, so the print statements to /dev/null were left in. Optimizers can do funny things. They've gotten better over the years but there is still a linux optimization that warns you that non-standard things are being done (IIRC -fast).

1point

Loren Pechtel 4 years ago

At least 99 times out of a hundred this means you're picking up garbage out of memory. Changing the code changes the garbage you pick up.

0points

Tim Douglass 4 years ago

I have personally written that comment into some old COBOL payroll code I was maintaining.

0points

Tracy Wolfe 4 years ago

Haha, something similar would occur in the 6th month of each year. We called it a June Bug.

0points

Samsung has issued a statement on Twitter saying: “Recently, a notification about “Find My Mobile 1” occurred on a limited number of Galaxy devices. This was sent unintentionally during an internal test and there is no effect on your device. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused our customers.”

As you can imagine, the incident was already picked up by people online as it fueled a fresh burst of jokes and memes.

Such instances show a couple of things. First, accidents do happen. Second, even though Samsung claimed it won’t affect any device that received it, that doesn’t mean it’s not scary. Everyone’s on edge with the pandemic blues already, and such accidental stunts are doing more harm than good.

After we all had a good laugh, it’s up to programmers to clean up the whole mess. Because if there’s a code, there’s a bug, and the two won’t live without one another.

#5

Best 404 Page

Final score:

252points

POST

Roxy Eastland 4 years ago

Okay, that really is brilliant

57points

elfin Premium 4 years ago

I'd love to know the stats for customers who chose a button.

1point

Deziree Mccullough 4 years ago

what website is this martin looks sus ad needs some more 2020 in his life

8points

LesAnimaux 4 years ago

Luke looks so scared

5points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

Luke, you're fired! Poor Luke. Were not saying Revenge is Luke's middle name, but you might want to change your IP address now!

5points

Tami 4 years ago

Hilarious!

4points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

A matter of realism to spend more effort on the #404 than any of the others.

3points

Suebee70 4 years ago

I love a creative 404 page!

1point

Caffeinated Hedgehog 4 years ago

Plot Twist: Martin programmed the page and clicking any of the buttons will vote for Luke.

1point

Anonymous Panda 4 years ago

That's why Luke looks scared and Martin looks like he's trying to look scared.

0points

James016 4 years ago

This is really good

1point

Ann Abdelzaher 4 years ago

LOL I love this!

0points

Shirley Heyn 4 years ago

Just punish all the men, women don't fail. . .!

0points

#6

Human Brain

Final score:

252points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

True.

35points

David Retsler 4 years ago

Or voting in the USA.

4points

earringnut 4 years ago

Damnit. I want to be mad but that seems to be accurate.

2points

Brivid 4 years ago

I don't do code but public mathematics will also cause my brain to stop.

3points

Mahayana 4 years ago

And trying to spell congrashu... congraciu... congrats!

2points

Henry Cheves 4 years ago

Or when you have to do something really simple. I can easily subtract polynomials, but when it comes to 8x9, I freeze up.

1point

Aroace tiger 4 years ago

Welp I don't need to deal with the 2nd one!

1point

Aroace tiger 4 years ago

Or really the 1st because I don't write code

1point

kjorn 4 years ago

remember one time i was chatting with a colleague when a really cute girl pass between us and to this day i still remember that i completly lost track of what i was saying to him.

1point

Bacony Cakes 4 years ago

What about when you try to remember a dream?

1point

CharliAnn Olney Premium 4 years ago

This is the BEST!

0points

Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago

Or dead!

0points

#7

Honesty

Final score:

240points

POST

Serial pacifist 4 years ago

Oh, ok, then 123456

31points

David Retsler 4 years ago

It said, "DON'T reuse your bank password."

8points

Beezel Palomar 4 years ago

12EA56

4points

SeidWolf 4 years ago

AMAZING!! That's the combination to my Luggage!!

1point

Tequila4Two 4 years ago

Or make it more clever: 2Three4fiveSiX

0points

Connie Martin 4 years ago

lol!

0points

Jill 4 years ago

or "password123" or any combination there of

0points

Ben Dover 4 years ago

But that's my bank password

3points

Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago

umm lets see hhhweeklsndbwlkjf;djmdkuiweqo there we go

3points

kjorn 4 years ago

password-6...26e8ee.jpg

1point

James016 4 years ago

My password is the one the King of Drudia uses for the air shield

1point

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

Password1

0points

#8

Job Offer Written By Hr

Final score:

233points

POST

Something 4 years ago

Plot twist: They are actually secretly seeking time travelers.

79points

Lisa Shelton 4 years ago

Or they are seeking people who know enough to say that the language came out 3 years ago and not lie on their application/resume

3points

Biljana Malesevic 4 years ago

The usual requirement next to "should not be older than 30, but has 25 years of experience"

12points

Dave P 4 years ago

That is because HR people don't know about these things. Programming boss tells HR we need a Swift programer, HR says "hmm, we want a top person...8 years sounds like a good thing to look for"

7points

Thomas E S Thomas 4 years ago

They're really looking for a truck driver.

4points

Amir Ahmed Asif 4 years ago

Good one! (Others who are wondering: Swift is a trucking company. So, the drivers can have 8 years/longer experience)

3points

EA 4 years ago

BLOODY STUPID RECRUITERS. Like when they want graduate level knowledge and pay minimum wage or entry level candidates with 4 years experience

3points

phil blanque 4 years ago

Does it count that working in some places for 3 years might feel like 8?

2points

S. Tor Storm 4 years ago

Well you know, real effective people do 3 years of work in one year. ;)

2points

Jeff Christensen 4 years ago

You need to have gained that experience sw... fast.

0points

CharliAnn Olney Premium 4 years ago

Typical.

0points

Catherine Spencer-Mills 4 years ago

Saw an add for 5 years experience in Win 2000 in - you guessed it - Jan 2000.

0points

#9

Cries In Powershell

Final score:

224points

POST

Hans 4 years ago

Life for anyone who is able to program!

25points

Robert T 4 years ago

Or worse still, successfully automating wrongly!

5points

Maurettis 4 years ago

So many bots flushed down the garbage collector

1point

Radek Suski 4 years ago

Literally spent 4 days creating plant watering system. I probably need like ten minutes a day doing it by hand

3points

Gyro Pilot 4 years ago

This one is iffy: automate it correctly AND don't tell your client and you've added hours to your day, days to your week, years to your life...

2points

King Joffrey 4 years ago

I have a relatively successful career based on this principle and I don't even work in IT. If someone expects you to take an hour to do something, take an hour to do it, even if it takes you 15 minutes.

0points

Id row 4 years ago

Oh, if I take it on, it gets successfully automated, lol. I almost automated my way out of a job in my first week working there one time. I refuse to do tedious and repetitive manual tasks when they can be automatically done with the push of a button.

1point

Elizabeth Butler 4 years ago (edited)

One of these 'nice but not necessary' things once ran as root with a null parameter and wiped out our billing server, OS and DB and all.

0points

RueThanatos 4 years ago

Lol, this was my coworker's motto

0points

Helen Haley 4 years ago

Huh, I had no idea Io was a programmer.

0points

Nico Di Angelo 4 years ago

Zhang?!

0points

Kristof De Smet 4 years ago

all hail to the king!

0points

#10

Why Programmers Like Cooking

Final score:

222points

POST

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

And some random assortment of the carrot pieces don't suddenly become NULL...

4points

Id row 4 years ago

And you never have to reboot the stew.

2points

Abhainn 4 years ago

I'm not a programmer, and I still don't like cooking, but this tweet has opened a door in appreciation of the art of carrot peeling. I know what it's like to go to use something and see that it needs, like, the next millennia to update and whatnot. I never considered appreciating things that don't need updates:)

2points

Seabeast 4 years ago

To be fair, Carrot 4.4 is a big improvement, though.

0points

Iapetos 4 years ago

This is how the future will look like when everything is always connected to the internet and everything needs its license to be maintained.

0points

Not all technical bugs come and go, and some of them have taught us valuable lessons, sadly, at the cost of innocent people—like the Therac-25 disaster that occurred with the Therac-25 radiation therapy machine. It was produced by Atomic Energy of Canada, but caused accidental radiation overdoses. As a result, it killed six patients.

#11

Can You Fix My Device?

Final score:

210points

POST

Roxy Eastland 4 years ago

Wise

38points

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

And true -- computer science is a theoretic field about computation.

5points

Ali H M Salehuddin 4 years ago

Same problem, but less well known. I'm a mechanical engineer. No, I can't fix your car.

6points

Roe Rainrunner 4 years ago

Or the dishwasher, washing-machine, refrigerator... I used to tell them "As long as you can't install an OS to it". But look at the fridges nowadays!!! :D

2points

C. Mayo 4 years ago

I spent 30 years in IT and still tell my neighbors I don't know anything about PC's.

5points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Self preservation is strong in this one. 😇

0points

Kristof De Smet 4 years ago

Can I give this a +100?

3points

Maryann Pastorello 4 years ago

all the time!!

2points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago (edited)

CYA! Free advice is rarely valued and family members will accept no other kind.

1point

Bad Mole 4 years ago

I build my own gaming computers. A co-worker asked if I knew anything about computers, so I said yes. Then she asked me about a problem with Excel. I have never used Excel.

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

What, you don't play Excel? 😜 And, heck, software - hardware, same diff, right?

0points

Ann Abdelzaher 4 years ago

This is my husband. He is a real-time and Cyber-physical systems professor. He doesn't know s*** about PC's.

0points

Don't Look 4 years ago

relative: you know about computers right? me (wincing): yeeaaahhh....(looks down, wait for it) Relative: can you show me how to fix this problem that I have with my phone because I've managed to ignore the fact that I don't want to read anymore so I don't really pay attention to what the screen actually says?

0points

June Degarmo 4 years ago

lol

0points

#12

Quality "Assurance"

Final score:

206points

POST

Basil Ignatov 4 years ago

I just ordered ∞ pickles.... everything is fine

29points

Petra Schaap 4 years ago

i have no clue where this is about but i love the idea of ordering minus one beers in bar. Would that mean you give the bartender one you brought yourself?

7points

Iapetos 4 years ago

Well, the number of beers ordered must be saved as an integer (a whole number) somewhere in the memory of the program. When the user is asked what value it should be, -1 is in the realm of things to be expected. And when the program receives -1 instead of a (legitimate) positive number, it must do something with it. QA testing is all about making sure the program always knows what to do when the user enters something, because otherwise there may be some unexpected behavior - that's the bar bursting into flames.

5points

Hans 4 years ago

This seems accurate. Although equivalence partitioning and boundary value testing are a good start, really.

7points

Robert T 4 years ago

Thus spake the QA Engineer ;-)

8points

Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago

Error handling and boundary testing is the key. Very easy to make a program do exactly what it's supposed to do

0points

Thenatural 4 years ago

What?

0points

Signe Manat Hansen 4 years ago

As a former QA tester, I relate hard

5points

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

This should be upvoted. I have a user, no how hard I test the code, he always breaks it within 5 minutes...

5points

Pi Ss 4 years ago

I know why you only have one user

3points

Peko 4 years ago

Is he a QA engineer?

1point

Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago

Ha! Great tester! Lucky you

1point

Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago

well that's some faulty programming right there

3points

Id row 4 years ago

Or asks for separate tabs for everyone in his party.

1point

Marnie 4 years ago

Sounds like it could be a problem with the BA (business analysist) to me. Bad requirements. You can fix bad code easily. It's much harder to fix bad requirements. Also, if it's just a defect, then get some real QA people, not "testers". If you work at a place where they think a QA's job is merely to "test", they will likely be not worth the salary they are making. In fact, they don't understand the job at all. Testing is simply one of many tools a QA person uses. Always involve QA people from the start or near the start of a project. Also, developers should test their code before handing it over. The goal is for there to be no defects for the QA's to find. QA people should be excited when they find a defect due to it not happening very often.

1point

Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago

As yes.... the key to programming is being able to handle errors! Making it do what it's meant to do is easy

1point

Eglė Bukauskaitė 4 years ago

Sadly, can relate... ~Sincerelly, a QA

0points

#13

Happy Birthday Linux!

Final score:

203points

POST

Something 4 years ago

Honestly, this would be the best cake to get for real. Completely fresh and no secret ingredients.

37points

Hans 4 years ago

Unfortunately, in every oven it will require slightly different adjustments to compile to the same result.

13points

Matheus Oliveira 4 years ago

Hum, do IKEA systems run on Linux, then?

4points

Aroace tiger 4 years ago

You stole my YOLK

2points

Micah64 4 years ago

I use Linux and can confirm that I have had to compile apps before, and it was unsuccessful. I still use Linux every day and love compiling my own food.

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Saw a post about an Ikea manager getting a birthday cake like this. LOL.

1point

Roxy Eastland 4 years ago

As a complete aside, but when American recipes say 'a stick of butter' is that what it looks like? How much does one weigh?

1point

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

4 oz ~= 122grams

1point

Fieke Engelen 4 years ago

I would love being given that any day. Wonderful thought

0points

Vladimir Velisavljev 4 years ago

yes, we all know bitbake yocto ... aaaaaa

0points

Paul Mjolnir 4 years ago

I think he's a Gentoo user :)

0points

June Degarmo 4 years ago

ROFLMAO!

0points

Ruth Beaty 4 years ago

And now I want to know what kind of cake it would be???

0points

#14

What Was The Previous Electrician Thinking

Final score:

199points

POST

Hans 4 years ago

Extend it ten-fold and you are still not even close to the truth...

12points

Sophie Luff 4 years ago

Hah! Be the poor sod who had to do the testing, and was constantly telling them it doesn't work and is not fit for purpose, only for it it be released with the promise of it will be fixed in life! I got a rep all they way to the MD of being cynical and raising awkward questions. 😆

1point

Ruth Beaty 4 years ago

This is so true, and I am neither one but have dealt with problems caused by both. Right my house wiring scares the s**t out of me and my computer is permanently bitchy about everything.

0points

Id row 4 years ago

The edit comment log of a program can be very entertaining to read, lol.

0points

SeidWolf 4 years ago

its a general business principal, blame everything on the last person and completely throw them under the bus

0points

#15

C++ Cheater

Final score:

190points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

stackoverflow is your friend ;-)

42points

Rod Egret 4 years ago

She's already a skilled programmer!

9points

S. Tor Storm 4 years ago

Tell her what, that cheating is wrong? or is there another point only a programmer would know?

8points

Shelby P 4 years ago

she should get an A++

6points

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

Everyone who codes should have Stack Overflow bookmarked and feel no shame over it.

3points

Radek Suski 4 years ago

No. It’s our secret

2points

Ann Abdelzaher 4 years ago

ROFLMAO 5 years as a webmaster of a community college and I don't think I wrote my own code once.

0points

Isabella 4 years ago

You are a programmer now, here's your badge. You are on Level 2 of earnings.

0points

Sue User 4 years ago

Been coding for over 25 years. Did we really just learn everything from books (O'reilly ) ?

0points

GoodCatto 4 years ago

References are your allies.

0points

The Therac-25 case’s investigation showed that poor software and insufficient system development caused the malfunctioning of the system. These could have been caused because there were difficulties in performing automated software tests.

Nancy Leveson, an expert who investigated the case, found that inexperienced coders created buggy software. Moreover, it’s speculated that a sole programmer was in charge of creating the software which they based on code from the Therac-6 and Therac-20. It’s thought that the tragedy was really down to human error, which makes it all the more devastating.

#16

Helping My Teammates Remember What Day Of The Week It Is

Final score:

184points

POST

Michael Green 4 years ago

Bahahahah.

20points

Robert T 4 years ago

Ah, as simplified version of the POTM (Phase Of The Moon) algorithm. Only works every second Tuesday and it depends which way the wind is blowing.

7points

SykesDaMan 4 years ago

14% of the time, it works every time!

4points

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

The routine doesn't fail....Oooohh, you want CORRECT data?

3points

Salty Old Woman 4 years ago

Wish I could upvote this more!!

0points

Joshua Nowell 4 years ago

this should be higher

1point

Gyro Pilot 4 years ago

If I'm here for you to ask them immediately elimate Saturday and Sunday from the range of possibilities

0points

James016 4 years ago

The old “It works for me” line

0points

#17

We've All Been There

Final score:

181points

POST

Michael Green 4 years ago

Soo good. Relatable, even outside of the 'dev world'.

17points

Caroline 4 years ago

I don't get some of them, but this one I do lol.

6points

Drawings of HS 4 years ago

Salesman:... This way, we can create a totally new and accurate simulation for how long a person would survive in the moon. Is very easy, and can be created in 2 hours. Programmer:Say whaaaaaa

2points

Chris Sprucefield 4 years ago

THIS!!!

0points

Isidien Gudmundsdottir 4 years ago

But my eyes still "speak"

0points

Id row 4 years ago

I once made the mistake of saying, 'In theory' when my manager was explaining the purpose of a major program change to the CFO.'

0points

Ron Santos 4 years ago

This has been brought to you by Egineering team.

0points

Iapetos 4 years ago

Poor dog!

0points

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

Yep. Or the devs/engineers are not even at the presentation and the sales people have already sold the customer on it and now you have to somehow build it

0points

SlothyK8 4 years ago

OMG, this just happened to me this morning!

0points

#18

Totally Agree

Final score:

176points

POST

Johnny Rodriguez 4 years ago

#

22points

Combine Elite Soldier 4 years ago

hmm, that's weird, nothing's there!

7points

‏‏‎ ‎ 4 years ago

################################## ################# ########## ###### ####### ### ####### # # # # # ## ################### I had spaghetti for dinner

2points

Little Dino 4 years ago

##

1point

CharliAnn Olney Premium 4 years ago

😅😂🤣😜🤪🤣

0points

Drawings of HS 4 years ago

#you just wasted ur time reading this

4points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

#No, I did not.

3points

Sawdust 4 years ago

# #

1point

sylvantic 4 years ago

except when i get a point taken off my assignment for not having enough hashtags. i'm never going to be using this code again and it functions, what more could you ask for? (why is this course required?)

1point

Teucer T 4 years ago

Because in the real world someone is going to have to change/update/modify your work, and its polite not forcing him/her to pull their hair out in chunks. Because Karma is a prickly bitch, that person will likely be you in about six months.

2points

Lola DM 4 years ago

Isn't there a hashtag in his son's name?

1point

Rohan Tapiyawala 4 years ago

In PHP as well

0points

hey, not my problem 4 years ago

got to agree with them there. is this what he means? "#elonmusk"

0points

James Curtis-Smith 4 years ago

But are probably the most important lines for humans to read! Unlike both of the messages above - the only thing Elon has ever said that is useful is we simply can't make enough batteries for all cars to be electric with current technology...

0points

Maurettis 4 years ago

python is evil incarnate

-1point

RealSans666 4 years ago

i don't think so

1point

#19

Biggest Lie

Final score:

176points

POST

Daria B 4 years ago

Well, it "should", not it "will". ♡

38points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

"Should" have worked the first three times, too! 😁

2points

Tami 4 years ago

The most truthful programmer I knew would say, "Watch this!"

3points

Yvonne Blau 4 years ago

"It's not a bug, it's a feature"

3points

Radek Suski 4 years ago

It works on my computer. I got a T-shirt with this sentence from my wife as a birthday present

2points

Marnie 4 years ago

Another big one: "It's 90% done. Just another day or two."

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

On what planet?

0points

Maryann Pastorello 4 years ago

Technically, that's NOT a lie. It "should"!

1point

Isidien Gudmundsdottir 4 years ago

" I know networking "

0points

Id row 4 years ago

"It's not a bug, it's a feature."

0points

Maurettis 4 years ago

"It's right" "Build is red" "I know, but it's right"

0points

Paul K. Johnson 4 years ago

That's not lying. It's merely delusional.

0points

#20

My Code

Final score:

174points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

And then a few weeks or months down the line, you are reading through the code and thinking who wrote this pile of the proverbial.

37points

Maurettis 4 years ago

"Who wrote this piece of crap?.... Right, it was me yesterday"

5points

Just a Snowball 4 years ago

10 am so much better

1point

Mikhael Barreto 4 years ago

I'm more like "writes badass code overnight" / "wonders how the hell I made it work, the following day"

0points

June Degarmo 4 years ago

ha ha ha

0points

Laura Odelius 4 years ago

This also applies to dissertations.

0points

AnimalsRuleHumansDrool 4 years ago

Bearded dragon!

0points

#21

True Happiness

Final score:

167points

POST

Drawings of HS 4 years ago

Well said

9points

Vorknkx 4 years ago

As someone I know puts it: "True happiness is pleasure after pain"... whih is what this tweet describes ;)

2points

Robert T 4 years ago

s/chrome/firefox/g

1point

madcow 3417 4 years ago

Solving? I usually bookmark them all into a folder and deal with it later.

0points

GoodCatto 4 years ago

Bro I only have up to 6 tabs a day

0points

kjorn 4 years ago

i don't believe in happiness anymore

0points

#22

Hopefully This Hasn't Been Posted Before

Final score:

162points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Oh, but that dopamine ping when your code finally works!

32points

Ali H M Salehuddin 4 years ago

I remember a reddit post that went something like this: Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, he'll spend a fortune on fishing gears that get used only once a year. Maybe there's a programmer humor equivalent to this..

2points

Tracy Jordan 4 years ago

Sexist 😂

0points

#23

Shots Were Fired In My Discrete Math Textbook

Final score:

161points

POST

Berry Budgie 4 years ago

Fair enough

34points

N G 4 years ago

Have they never seen ancestral family trees? Fairly certain computer scientists didn't design the concept...

7points

Shadow 4 years ago

I was thinking the same thing!

0points

Robert T 4 years ago

Just turn the piece of paper though 180 degrees ;-)

3points

Something 4 years ago

The roots of a tree look similar to the branches.

3points

Deep One 4 years ago

I am ROOT!

0points

Shirley Heyn 4 years ago

Top down is the root of the problem. . .

0points

Seabeast 4 years ago

If you dig up a tree, the part that's underground looks just like that, so...

0points

Chris Lee 4 years ago

Yep, if you dig up a tree, the bit that holds it all together is covered in s^*t

0points

phil blanque 4 years ago

Well .... trees do have roots. Some might say you need good logic to be grounded, not just waving around in the air.

0points

Brandon McCombs 4 years ago

Trees do have roots.

0points

Salty Old Woman 4 years ago

I want this book! Does anyone know what book this is from?!

0points

Hollysmom 4 years ago

Ok. Don't understand this and it makes my head hurt and heart pound.

0points

#24

Lamo

Final score:

159points

POST

Ali H M Salehuddin 4 years ago

I am not a doctor but I do personally know one. Doctors do google a lot too. There's no way a person can remember all those prescriptions and their side effects.

3points

Teucer T 4 years ago

(Sigh)... Learned the software side before the internet because I needed to to troubleshoot the hardware. Still have an entire bookshelf of reference manuals for various languages. Would have loved Google back then.

1point

Ann Abdelzaher 4 years ago

Google helped me keep my RA position during my Ph.D. had to self-teach myself XML, ColdFusion and Asp

0points

Gyro Pilot 4 years ago

What kind of doctor do you mean?

0points

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

If you're coding straight out of your head without referencing something, you're Super human.

0points

#25

Stacking If Else Statements Be Like

Final score:

158points

POST

Hans 4 years ago

I recommend switch()

24points

Maurettis 4 years ago

WRONG!

3points

Cristian Filip 4 years ago

Then you don't understand the purpose of stacking IF/THEN/ELSE structure... Some compilers use IF/THEN/ELSEIF.

2points

Hugo Raible 4 years ago

On strings?

1point

MacFrog 4 years ago (edited)

In this case, that would rather be a hub()

1point

Jill 4 years ago

Dont we all....

0points

Péter Rózsahegyi 4 years ago

Right. Switch(case 1:, case 2:, case 3:, case 4:, case 5:, default: );

-1point

Thomas E S Thomas 4 years ago

Hope your hard drive is water cooled.

5points

Robert T 4 years ago

I'm looking at that and thinking is each one of those a hub? And also, where's the dangling else?

2points

BlackestDawn 4 years ago

See them as nested if-else (no elif) statements and they work perfectly fine with the lower connection being true and upper being false (i.e else).

3points

sylvantic 4 years ago

me in my python course last year (thanks, i learned bupkes but now i'm not being a programmer ever)

1point

Shirley Heyn 4 years ago

If it works, call it a hub. . .

0points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Not a programmer, but used a corp software package for building websites where customers could order business cards. Some of their "rules" required if else statements that would give me headaches.

0points

Christopher Butler 4 years ago

I feel attacked

0points

Radek Suski 4 years ago

People doing it aren’t devs though

0points

#26

This Website Doesn't Use Cookies

Final score:

157points

POST

Andrei Anghel 4 years ago

That's a good one :)

36points

Ian Koch 4 years ago

took me a bit to figure it out lol.

6points

Abdel Ria 4 years ago

Because if you don't store cookies there is no feasible way to store info about the user, thus the pop up reappears after refreshing

4points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Tracking the IP and adjusting code if same IP visited past TTL seconds (say, 14400sec)?

2points

Jon S. 4 years ago

I recently discovered this with a website I didn't want any cookies from. It just kept asking me if I was ok with it using cookies until I cracked and said yes.

0points

Woltax 4 years ago

This has to be upvoted!

0points

C. Mayo 4 years ago

This is too funny.

0points

Moisturized Elbows 4 years ago

Hilarious

0points

#27

It's Always Fun

Final score:

157points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

I really hope that one comes back to the bite them. :D

38points

Roe Rainrunner 4 years ago

I'd love to hear if he told them and what their reaction was

2points

R_Lena 4 years ago

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1282211277239193602.html

2points

Earl Pottinger 4 years ago

At the computer store where I used to work, we had an older businessman complain that the person we assigned to educate people at his company was too young to have an understanding of the program his company was to use. We carefully checked the complaint was not about how he explained things, it was made clear to us that the businessman was sure the assigned person WAS TOO YOUNG for the job. Guess who wrote the program he thought the programmer was too young to understand.

0points

Tim Douglass 4 years ago

I got in a major argument once with a guy who wrote a particular ISO standard. Turns out that what he wrote and what he meant weren't quite the same.

0points

Maurettis 4 years ago

The HR "not so tech"

0points

#28

Readmes Are Just Suggestions Anyways

Final score:

149points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

And ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME.

22points

Vic 4 years ago

But.. but reading documentation is beneath us.. people might think we actually know what we are doing..

1point

Roe Rainrunner 4 years ago

My experiences with readmes: usually a hundred years old, points to function that doesn't exist, when trying to adapt it blows up the program :D

2points

Thomas Duncan 4 years ago

Or manpages in *nix; written by engineers for engineers, without any common use-case examples or plain English. Ask on forums, get told to foff and RTFM

1point

Maggie Smith 4 years ago

RTFM...

0points

Florence Hastings 4 years ago

It’s not forbidden to read what’s on the screen. 😂

0points

Shelli Aderman 4 years ago

ALWAYS! 🤣

0points

C. Mayo 4 years ago

Same goes for reading comments.

0points

#29

I Am The It Department

Final score:

137points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

I am the IT department!

32points

Maurettis 4 years ago

How many cores in your brain?

5points

Lord Ponsonby 4 years ago

and still so modest

4points

Ashla Delana 4 years ago

Not yet.

0points

Lola DM 4 years ago

It's like looking to hire a translator who speaks English, German, Korean, Pashto and Aymara

4points

Thomas Duncan 4 years ago

OK, you forgot: - Hardware & OS install and troubleshooting, Projector setup, Excel and power-point tutorials, VOIP install, EMail Admin, LAN wiring and admin, Wifi install, etc

1point

King Joffrey 4 years ago

Blaming recruiters for what they're looking for is like blaming the programmers for that autoplay video. In both cases, the client made them do it.

0points

Isidien Gudmundsdottir 4 years ago

IT Department, you know, the one with the lowest budget but the highest expectations.

0points

Strahd Ivarius 4 years ago

Being a Renaissance man, I can add to this a few things (including COBOL)

0points

Teucer T 4 years ago

Fortran... My first language.

0points

panda_legerdemain 4 years ago

It is still less to get you into IT company in India. They expect the candidates to be as good as the authors themselves

0points

#30

Every Class You Break, Every Fix You Fake, I'll Be Judging You

Final score:

136points

POST

*sneezes in pansexual* 4 years ago

lmao EVERY SINGLE FRICKEN TIME

19points

Sophia Graubart 4 years ago

It's like "Error: missing end parantheses" like SHUT UP I HAVEN'T GOTTEN To THE END PARANTHESES YET!

6points

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

Yes, IntelliJ, please be quiet. It will all make sense to you soon. . . .maybe, LOL.

1point

#31

How Times Change!

Final score:

135points

POST

Ian Harac 4 years ago

The Apollo source code is on the web. In it -- in code that ultimately was compiled and went to the moon -- is a comment on a line: "Temporary I hope I hope I hope". It wasn't temporary. Nothing has changed in programming since 1969.

17points

Little Dino 4 years ago

hahaha, we use Slack for my robotics team and it's one of the top 5 apps taking up space in my phone rn lol

4points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

My very first computer was sooo impressive: it had not one, but TWO 20MB hard drives! (Late 80s)

2points

Connie Martin 4 years ago

Oooh that's extra, literally. My first work computer had just 1 20 MB hard drive. I only had Word files on it so it seemed like plenty...

1point

Dave P 4 years ago

Remember the F 16 fighter jet has a 66Mhz processor to handle all the Radar and electronics in a $40 million dollar fighter jet (at lest the ones before the 2006 upgrade)

2points

sylvantic 4 years ago

people who look at my files: What are you doing with that 6.2 GB of used OneDrive storage? me: playing the sims 4 with ALLL THE MODS

1point

Elizabeth Butler 4 years ago

Software automatically expands to need more than the new hardware supports.

0points

Russell Bowman 4 years ago

"640K ought to be enough for anybody" was said by Bill Gates at an early microcomputer trade show in Seattle in mid 1981.

-1point

Ffaelan Condragh 4 years ago

This was disproven years ago.

1point

#32

I Feel Like One Of These Books Is Misleading Me

Final score:

129points

POST

Berry Budgie 4 years ago

Its a very big nutshell 🌰

36points

Paul K. Johnson 4 years ago

The Albaharis have very big nutshells.

5points

CultOfBambi 4 years ago

I guess the depth of one's nutshell is relative?

3points

Roe Rainrunner 4 years ago

The power of font-size! :-D

3points

Giles McArdell 4 years ago

Larger font in the top one?

3points

Strahd Ivarius 4 years ago

It's a Nuts Hell, fixed typo... and the further you read, the deeper you go...

1point

Lindy Mac 4 years ago

Is that a typo in the title? Shouldn't be in a Nuthouse?

0points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Anything that fits in a nutshell should stay in a nutshell.

0points

#33

Someone Try This

Final score:

126points

POST

AqualiaGuineaPigWolfCat 4 years ago

This is great

27points

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

I tried this but my kid's 64-bit...

3points

"Simo Häyhä" 4 years ago

sorry you WHAT!?

0points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

But chances are SS is still running on 8bit with twelve unstable layers of workarounds. So welcome to a life-changing $255.

3points

Maurettis 4 years ago

what? they use 32 bit signed integer?

2points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Love your optimism, haha.

1point

Cat 4 years ago

wow

2points

CATMONSTER2018 4 years ago

cat

1point

Phoenix 4 years ago

Wait.... what?

1point

Lindy Mac 4 years ago

Chirasul.... that is very tricky, what you did there.

0points

Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago

ok what lol

0points

#34

Why Would You Hurt Me In Such A Way

Final score:

117points

POST

Hans 4 years ago

Ouch.

28points

Chris 4 years ago

*me reading this post

5points

Moisturized Elbows 4 years ago

Why must you hurt me this way

1point

CultOfBambi 4 years ago

Ooh, that hurt.. (but only a little bit)

1point

Shawn WebDev CrashCourse 4 years ago

Understanding the programming memes doesn't make you not a dev 😎

0points

Clatgineer 4 years ago

Lies

0points

King Joffrey 4 years ago

That would imply that being a dev is a cool thing...

0points

Milica Savic 4 years ago

Uh.. damn it.

0points

#35

Not The Time, Dad

Final score:

115points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

I'd be a lot more worried if they were calling for an IT engineer.

71points

Earl Pottinger 4 years ago

Yep, if they need an IT person, the whole plane is in trouble.

1point

SykesDaMan 4 years ago

I'm impressed by the dad's knowledge! :)

3points

ravina nimje 4 years ago

But his sun can make a good website, probably save a lot of time of people filling forms.

2points

C. Mayo 4 years ago

Brutal.

1point

Earl Pottinger 4 years ago

And when a local hospital network stop working I don't remember them calling our company for a doctor to fix the problem. And there were a lot more than just one life hanging on the balance.

0points

Antonio J. Zozaya 4 years ago

Love it.

0points

thqidwai 4 years ago

Why don't you at least try and 'save them' as.pdf

0points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Clearfix?

0points

#36

Focus

Final score:

52points

POST

My O My 4 years ago

Can confirm again

3points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Not just programmers, anybody doing anything logical yet creative.

2points

Just a Snowball 4 years ago

lol the cat

1point

John C 4 years ago

I need to post this on my door

0points

Thomas Duncan 4 years ago

another I wish to upvote 10^n

0points

#37

Nvm I Figured It Out

Final score:

46points

POST

ƒιѕн 4 years ago

Oh Dear God Yes. I hate that.

8points

#38

Job Postings These Days

Final score:

45points

POST

Caroline 4 years ago

Works for any job ad.

12points

James016 4 years ago

I think there is a word missing. Surely that is meant to say unpaid intern.

0points

#39

Tom Scott You Cheeky Boi

Final score:

41points

POST

Hans 4 years ago

Well played!

7points

Aragorn II Elessar 4 years ago

I’ve memorized the link for the rickroll.

1point

Gary 4 years ago

I like Tom Scott's videos

1point

Swyft 4 years ago

you fell victim to one of the classic blunders, also, that's a lot of rickrolls

0points

#40

When Your Code Works Too Well

Final score:

41points

POST

Caroline 4 years ago

Scary!

13points

Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago

this is the way we burn the house burn the house burn the house

2points

AqualiaGuineaPigWolfCat 4 years ago

oh, oh no... I think there's someone behind you...

1point

#41

I Frequently Have This Argument With My Code

Final score:

41points

POST

#42

User.fist_name

Final score:

40points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

Oh, there are more subtle ways to mess things up. str[strlen(prefix+5)] for example.

3points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

Huh?

1point

Dre Mosley 4 years ago

"WTF, NullPointerException? Why!?" Oh. . . .yeah, I didn't instantiate it. I need more coffee.

1point

Drawings of HS 4 years ago

The wrong variables will be with you, young skywalker, always

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Oh, one of those high tech Carrot computers! Where's the stick hiding?

0points

#43

Ai You Say?

Final score:

40points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

The more I uses Windows 10, the more I think it is just a ploy to run updates on my computer instead of letting me do actual work.

20points

Vorknkx 4 years ago

Still using Win 7 at home :)

2points

Micah64 4 years ago

I use Linux. I think it's better than Windows.

1point

Annie Niemands 4 years ago

Look into Windows 10 LTSC (Long-Term Servicing Channel) if you can get an installation somehow. Very much recommend it, no candy crush or other bloat, updates like a few times a year at most.

1point

ProfessionalTimeWaster 4 years ago

I think they achieved perfection with Windows 7 :-(

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Better than the old AOL updates - "better to just do it than ask permission - our tech support number is encrypted anyway."

0points

Giles McArdell 4 years ago

Back in, I think it was Windows 7, it could update without restarting, which seemed like a step forward, must have been an accident so they went back to constantly restarting.

3points

Thomas Duncan 4 years ago

Why oh why are you not using Linux? Just sayin'

1point

#44

My Linkedin Profile

Final score:

40points

POST

N G 4 years ago

He mentions Hadoop twice. I don't know Pokemon, but I can do attention to detail

20points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

That's a QA test. Hadoop is a fuzzy animal, not a Pokemon.

2points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

Ditto!

1point

Vic 4 years ago

Coz his big data is very very big.. :-D

1point

Donkey boi 4 years ago

Ditto, Vulpix, feebas, onyx, Ekans, metapod are the Pokemon I recognise. The rest could be either/or to me.

4points

Robert T 4 years ago

I'd be suspect of anyone that thinks c# and c++ are the same (or don't use a capital C for that matter).

4points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

My C-sharp has been slipping the last years, but my C-pound is top-notch!

1point

Henny Hana 4 years ago

Ekansssssssss

1point

PattonPawter 4 years ago

I know Onyx, ditto, ekans, and vulpix are pokemons

0points

Swyft 4 years ago

I don't know programing, but the pokemon are from when I watched it, so I think I could do it

0points

#45

Everyone's Doing It!

Final score:

39points

POST

Demon Child 4 years ago

(Not me pretending to know how to code bc I can understand these memes)

4points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

𝘐 don't know how to code, but I can still understand memes.

3points

Wyn Williams 4 years ago

I would as well, if my friends all jumped off a cliff they would have a damn good reason

0points

#46

You Will Gain 50 Windows Xp

Final score:

39points

POST

*sneezes in pansexual* 4 years ago (edited)

Dnd in a nutshell ("A software wizard or setup assistant is a user interface type that presents a user with a sequence of dialog boxes that lead the user through a series of well-defined steps. Tasks that are complex, infrequently performed or unfamiliar may be easier to perform using a wizard." - Wikipedia... I was too lazy to explain it myself)

3points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Wait you looked it up to post as this-is-generally-known? Is this geeksplaining?

0points

Combine Elite Soldier 4 years ago

What would be the final boss?

1point

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Haven't reached it but I know it involves a blue screen.

1point

#47

Why Is It Like This?

Final score:

38points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

Or it raises an exception and you ask where and it says file unknown, line unknown. Thanks. A. Bunch!

7points

Vic 4 years ago

JS is like that annoying younger sibling that hides your stuff and if ask for it say,, only if you give me something. Only difference is, you ask what do you want? It say, un-uh.. that's for you to guess.

1point

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Or try APL, where it just looks like curses. Although both when it works or doesn't.

0points

Rod Egret 4 years ago

JS is the worse language ever...

0points

Robert T 4 years ago

Be thankful that you will likely never have to experience COBOL

0points

#48

Never Thought About That Tbh

Final score:

37points

POST

Phendrena 4 years ago

YES! It should function with the correct spelling and not the dumbed down spelling ;)

14points

Exquisite Spam 4 years ago

If there's Chinese and Chinese (simplified), there should be English and English (simplified) for the Americans.

5points

Corcaigh 4 years ago

Same for centre...

1point

EA 4 years ago

Ugh this! The number of times I’ve spent wondering why simple codes don’t work and it’s just cos I’ve spelt it colour etc >.<

1point

Jonathan 4 years ago

I have actually pondered this

3points

Giles McArdell 4 years ago

Mostly we don't care, but when we use the word in our own code we passive-aggressively insist on using "colour".

2points

PotatoNinja5000 4 years ago (edited)

Yes. It's easy to accidently do.

1point

Wyn Williams 4 years ago

Yeah always used to anoy me and I was making sites before it existed so even in html it was a PITA

1point

Robert T 4 years ago

I sometimes name my CSS classes colour-xxx just to be obstreperous.

1point

Kira Okah 4 years ago

Not a programmer whatsever - showing these to my programmer partner - but I do know html/css. Most of my oopsy broken comes from spelling words like colour not in American spelling ^^;

0points

#49

Meetings Everyone!

Final score:

37points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Level 4 here, retired.

10points

Rod Egret 4 years ago

I'm level 3!!!

2points

Tim Douglass 4 years ago

Level 2 lasts about 20 minutes into your first meeting.

0points

#50

How To Wake Up In The Morning

Final score:

36points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

This is also a useful cure for constipation.

26points

Coco 4 years ago

On the contrary, my a**s gets very closed on these situations.

7points

Biljana Malesevic 4 years ago

Or running UPDATE while forgetting to add WHERE conditions.

2points

SlothyK8 4 years ago

Been there. Did that.

1point

#51

Programming In A Nutshell

Final score:

36points

POST

James016 4 years ago

This seems fine

5points

#52

Asking For Help Online

Final score:

35points

POST

Remus-Alexandru Simion 4 years ago

This hits waaay to close to home. I had a problem where i had to always run ubuntu as root and had a question, everyone kept saying "you should never run ubuntu as root" instead of answering the damn question. I get it, it's not secure, that's not what i'm asking you, god damn it! Not every project running ubuntu is going to be online, not every project running ubuntu is going to have retards accessing it. I just wanted root access so i could run an overlay on top that no one would ever be able to get out unless they know what they are doing on an offline computer. just. give.me.root.

2points

Combine Elite Soldier 4 years ago

That sucks

2points

#53

Big Data Reality

Final score:

33points

POST

AqualiaGuineaPigWolfCat 4 years ago

Umm... ok?

0points

Evil Little Thing 4 years ago

Big data are global databases generated by researchers uploading their raw data to relevant collaborative data collections.

2points

#54

Her Husband Must Be A Programmer

Final score:

33points

POST

DC 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Forty-Two 4 years ago

weird flex but ok

0points

#55

I Cried As Hell

Final score:

32points

POST

kjorn 4 years ago

this kind of book actually makes me leave programming and go into security instead cplusplus-...2975f6.jpg

3points

Little Dino 4 years ago

or Blown to Bits: Your Life, Liberty, and Happiness After the Digital Explosion :(

-1point

#56

512 People Would Be More Odd Won't It?

Final score:

31points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

Just a byte of the conversation. If had been 16, it would only have been a nibble.

17points

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

They reached the limit bit by bit?

1point

kjorn 4 years ago

everything come down to binary

0points

#57

Thank You Guys, You Are The Real Heroes

Final score:

30points

POST

Thomas Duncan 4 years ago

10^n

3points

#58

Its A Win-Win Situation

Final score:

29points

POST

Rod Egret 4 years ago

This one killed me!

2points

#59

Tab Club

Final score:

29points

POST

Stimpy 4 years ago

I am a member of the tab club. Can't stand the stupid 4-spaces...

13points

Tami 4 years ago

Ha ha, now I get it, thanks!

3points

SykesDaMan 4 years ago

Nobody liked the "I said put it on my ..." joke? I found it nice! :)

3points

#60

Developers

Final score:

29points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Thanks to continually insane requests from marketing.

3points

kjorn 4 years ago

not just at the end this happen long before the end

0points

Zucchini 4 years ago

I see Harry Potter reference, I upvote.

0points

#61

It's Rewind Time

Final score:

29points

POST

Hans 4 years ago

Commit frequently!

3points

Dynein 4 years ago

Commit won't do a thing if you don't save the changes first...

0points

Forty-Two 4 years ago

Linux!

1point

Tim Douglass 4 years ago

Save early, save often!

0points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

I was a typesetter and loved Pagemaker, but, oh, was it treacherous that way.

0points

kjorn 4 years ago

CTRL+S every 10 seconds

0points

Dynein 4 years ago

I made it such a habit to Ctrl+S every time I pause for thought that I'll do it even when it doesn't make sense, like e.g. browsing the web.

0points

#62

Programmers Really Jump To The Core Of Philosophical Questions

Final score:

28points

POST

‏‏‎ ‎ 4 years ago

Can I make a clone of myself that´s a different gender?

3points

Swyft 4 years ago

wouldn't be an actual clone, but it could be interesting

1point

Marcellus the Third 4 years ago

Are we speaking == or === to compare?

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

According to Star Trek universe, YES but only if you eliminate the original.

0points

Something 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Evil Little Thing 4 years ago

Woosh! Cloning by reference means that your "copy" is just a redirect to the original, and so will change along with the original. Cloning by value is making a second object initially identical to the first, but subject to it's own destiny from that point forward.

4points

Diana Eriksson 4 years ago

Because they would be the EXACT same. Same memories, identity, moral values, skills etc. Identical twins have their own identity and life-experiences, the same as any siblings.

2points

Roe Rainrunner 4 years ago

Identical twins only share 50% of the DNA.

-2points

#63

Every Single Time We Go To Production

Final score:

27points

POST

TheBlockSmith 4 years ago (edited)

Thats not how you...

2points

David Lacy 4 years ago

no, no its not...

1point

Pheebs 4 years ago

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.” - Rick Cook

0points

#64

Every Modern Detective Show

Final score:

26points

POST

Chris 4 years ago

Also make a pointless beeping noise

4points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

It looks cool, though!

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Shouldn't there be an announcement along the lines of "This face is the Xth face that does not match. "

0points

#65

Hello World

Final score:

25points

POST

Luna 4 years ago

So true

1point

#66

The Importance Of Knowing How To Correctly Use The While Loop

Final score:

25points

POST

Robert T 4 years ago

Well they both have their places, but clearly if look before you leap is important, don't do while.

3points

#67

Just Like The Previous Build

Final score:

24points

POST

#68

This Comcast User Who Set Up A Raspi To Automatically Tweet Comcast When His Internet Is Slower Than He Paid For

Final score:

24points

POST

"Simo Häyhä" 4 years ago

Brilliant!

3points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

The squeaky wheel ...

1point

Combine Elite Soldier 4 years ago

Hey, that's pretty cool!

0points

#69

Smoke Tests In The Wild

Final score:

24points

POST

Zucchini 4 years ago

This is actually really smart!

7points

"Simo Häyhä" 4 years ago

Unless that's a power line...

0points

#70

Gonna Be One Of Those Days

Final score:

24points

POST

Michael Green 4 years ago

Hahahahah, so annoying, but so funny.

3points

... 4 years ago

Omg this is funny and relatable

0points

#71

Me, After Making My First Program In Python

Final score:

24points

POST

#72

Both Google And Firefox Sent Cakes To Microsoft's Edge Team

Final score:

23points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Bing is MSFT's way of showing they don't take themselves too seriously.

3points

Kuroka 4 years ago

lmao

1point

#73

Gru Tries Recursion

Final score:

23points

POST

*sneezes in pansexual* 4 years ago

oof

3points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

https://www.google.com/search?newwindow=1&safe=active&sxsrf=ALeKk03Aze8efnr-SxMInzQVbasGLOx8eA:1613157312554&q=recursion&spell=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj0lNOkh-XuAhVNMawKHWoaDyMQBSgAegQIGBAu&biw=1920&bih=937

1point

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

Hence there's a site called....Stack overflow...

0points

#74

Flushed My Pancake

Final score:

23points

POST

Rod Egret 4 years ago

Go ask this one on StackOverFlow...

1point

Zuko 4 years ago

tHaTs a sTuPiD qUeStIoN

1point

#75

Java Is The Best

Final score:

23points

POST

SykesDaMan 4 years ago

Amen!!!

2points

#76

Only On Thanksgiving

Final score:

23points

POST

#77

Don't Dead Open Inside

Final score:

22points

POST

Maf Sweet 4 years ago

Also, learn how to spell Missile!

1point

#78

Spotted On Github

Final score:

22points

POST

Not-so-MadMax 4 years ago

:'D I love this

4points

Zuko 4 years ago

https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid

2points

Rod Egret 4 years ago

Brilliant!!!

0points

#79

500

Final score:

22points

POST

Helen Haley 4 years ago

And then everyone clapped?

5points

Pi Ss 4 years ago

guess what the green text means

1point

#80

Every Time

Final score:

21points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Like looking in the fridge for something good to eat.

3points

*sneezes in pansexual* 4 years ago

^^^^ = me

1point

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

I bet that has worked at least once somewhere.

0points

#81

When A Coworker Wants To Do A Code Review

Final score:

21points

POST

#82

Don’t Call Yourself A Programmer Unless You Code Like This

Final score:

21points

POST

Michael Green 4 years ago

That fine line between crazy and creepy. . .

4points

Beezel Palomar 4 years ago

The answer was on you the whole time.

0points

#83

We Have A Unsigned 8-Bit Genie Here

Final score:

21points

POST

Sophia Graubart 4 years ago

Life Hack for when you need more than 3 things: write everything you want on one list, say I need everything on this list to come true.

7points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

And Lord help you if there's a syntax error.

2points

"Simo Häyhä" 4 years ago

300px-Mode...a27166.jpg

1point

#84

That's Not Ai

Final score:

21points

POST

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Drunk passengers are most in need of Uber.

2points

#85

I Think Not

Final score:

21points

POST

Pheebs 4 years ago

Fuzzy logic is fun.

0points

Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago

no because no other life is on these planets

-1point

... 4 years ago

Wow I never knew until you told it...

1point

#86

What Should Happen

Final score:

20points

POST

... 4 years ago

Fair punishment

3points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

No it's not.

0points

Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago

this is on a different post with lots of other comics by this person

2points

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago (edited)

Oh yeah, Ñàté Fæ𐤊s.

1point

#87

Sql Clause

Final score:

20points

POST

#88

Everytime When Running Tests

Final score:

20points

POST

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

non-deterministic code...that's fun to debug...

2points

#89

Adding That Icon Is Going To Take 3 Weeks

Final score:

19points

POST

James016 4 years ago

In my old job, a vendor quoted 6 months and £100,000 to add a tick box to our instance of their software. It's one way of saying no

5points

Pi Ss 4 years ago

It's also a good way of teaching internal customers to plan ahead

2points

#90

Why Developers Don't Sleep

Final score:

19points

POST

HyacinthTheRainWing 4 years ago

That happened to me once!

8points

Vic 4 years ago

Just once! Oh you lucky lucky person..

3points

Giles McArdell 4 years ago

All.The.Time. This is why I have a notebook and pen next to the bed.

0points

Pi Ss 4 years ago

the notebook and pen are why this happens all the time

1point

#91

Frontend vs. Backend

Final score:

19points

POST

#92

Instructions Unclear

Final score:

19points

POST

TheBlockSmith 4 years ago

User: "I think I broke it."

1point

#93

The Pains Of Css

Final score:

18points

POST

#94

How To Make Your Users Love You 101

Final score:

18points

POST

#95

Variables

Final score:

18points

POST

#96

All The Software Work "Automagically"

Final score:

17points

POST

Tim Douglass 4 years ago

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

0points

#97

I Just Need To Learn How To Get Faster

Final score:

17points

POST

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Coming up with distinctive filenames for each iteration you save "just in case" .

1point

#98

The Best Feature On Mobile

Final score:

17points

POST

Combine Elite Soldier 4 years ago

I need this to happen when I smash my keyboard cuz I have little to no ram and I don't know how I'm alive rn.

2points

#99

Heartwarming Words

Final score:

17points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

[scratchy_old_persons_voice] I remember coding Hello World back in the 70s, in BASIC, punching in the code on a teletype that was connected via a phone modem to a remote computer. [/scratchy_old_persons_voice]

3points

#100

Assume That So Employees Also Answer Questions

Final score:

17points

POST

#101

Something Has Changed

Final score:

16points

POST

Pi Ss 4 years ago

It turns out burnout is really bad for you, who knew

3points

#102

I Don‘T Know Why It Is Not Working

Final score:

16points

POST

Theoretical Empiricist 4 years ago

I think everyone, regardless of endeavor or expertise, has had an experience like that. It makes you want to curl up under your desk, rock back and forth, and mumble quietly to yourself.

7points

#103

He Wasn't In The Starbucks

Final score:

15points

POST

#104

Pythonscript Comic Strip

Final score:

15points

POST

#105

Just Google It

Final score:

15points

POST

Jason Doakes 4 years ago

I thought I was pretty good at google searching (until maybe ~5yrs ago?), then the algos changed, which might be great for the 98% of casual searches, but when I search something old and all i get is 4 pages of results with the same 4 or 5 sites with the same item from last month, which might faintly sound like what I'm looking for, it's sad. Or maybe they just deleted all the information I know was there 10 years ago.

5points

Annie Niemands 4 years ago

The internet has gotten super huge. Back in the days there was only so much they had to index and match. Now they are both smarter and dumber than ever. But they are bad enough at understanding context to make many searches frustrating. I think in the future, AI and GANs are going to play a bigger role in search engines, so you could search for very specific things and long descriptions. "That game with a phone with a flashlight and a kangaroo in the dark" might today give results like "Free phone games" but a human that knew the game and heard the description would know instantly. So if that kind of contextual thinking could be applied to search engines it would be a step forward.

2points

... 4 years ago

Some days I wonder if I have my current job position only because I can google better than others.

2points

#106

Python Goes Brrrr

Final score:

14points

POST

#107

Hiring A Stack Overflow Pro

Final score:

14points

POST

#108

Hobbies

Final score:

14points

POST

#109

Optimizing Startup Times

Final score:

14points

POST

Lukáš Vůjtek 4 years ago

sleep is in ms

0points

Robert T 4 years ago

Not in every language it isn't.

2points

#110

This Guy Knows What's Up

Final score:

14points

POST

June 3 years ago

Makes even more sense after Log4shell x')

0points

Swyft 4 years ago

I just realized I had forgotten what reddit light mode looked like

0points

#111

You Have No Idea

Final score:

14points

POST

Blakkur Sverrir 4 years ago (edited)

Thats only true for english forums. German forums are more like: Answer 1: If you know so little about it, you should not do it Answer2: "your issue" is obsolete "random other stuff" is much better Add: Solution to "your issue" on fake amazon shop Answer 3: That has been solved long ago. Use the forum search Reader: But the Search function is what got me here

6points

Isog Sargent 4 years ago

Not the best feature of German culture.

1point

Something 4 years ago

Would it kill them to allow a little redundancy?

2points

#112

Done My Part

Final score:

14points

POST

Giles McArdell 4 years ago

Done! And I wasn't even trying.

2points

#113

Me Rereading Code I Wrote A Month Ago

Final score:

14points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Me looking at the manual I wrote a month ago.

2points

*sneezes in pansexual* 4 years ago

me with looking at my drawings from an hour ago...

1point

#114

Satan Himself Has Arrived

Final score:

13points

POST

"Simo Häyhä" 4 years ago

can someone explain this?

1point

Peter Trudell Jr 4 years ago

I presume it's because web developers check usage stats, which browsers are used... pinging a site with Internet Explorer 6 (pretty ancient web browser) would cause some heads to turn completely 'round. Rather like finding a 'Netscape' in a sea of Chrome, Firefox, Safari browsers.

8points

#115

What Screams: "I'm Insecure"?

Final score:

13points

POST

Vic 4 years ago

Hahaha.. took a while to get it..

2points

Jo Johannsen 4 years ago

Print is too small to read 😱

1point

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago

It says, "What screams: "I'm Insecure?" and the reply is "http."

1point

ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Henry Cheves 4 years ago

That's the joke. The s stands for secure, and without the s, it is an insecure link.

3points

#116

A Type Of Primitive Thought

Final score:

13points

POST

Remus-Alexandru Simion 4 years ago

I've always asked myself why that is...such a waste of space...

2points

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

Yeah, with 16gig of user memory...no one cares anymore...

0points

#117

My Pain Is Immeasurable

Final score:

12points

POST

#118

Compiler Warning: Line 323 Is Kinda Sus

Final score:

12points

POST

*sneezes in pansexual* 4 years ago

more like 31 bugs with only 14 lines...

4points

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

Yeah, 14 lines and the compiler tells you the error is on line 25...

2points

#119

Types Of Personalities

Final score:

12points

POST

uber mensch 4 years ago

It's half a glass of water.

2points

#120

It's The Law!

Final score:

12points

POST

Ben Steinberg 4 years ago

Sometimes...if I"m feeling naughty...I use 'k'...

3points

Zuko 4 years ago

*gasp*

2points

#121

Everytime

Final score:

12points

POST

#122

When You Ask Your British Friend What That Unmoving Black Thing Is

Final score:

11points

POST

#123

The Ancient Code

Final score:

11points

POST

Lukáš Vůjtek 4 years ago

It is funny, because it is true. I very often comment ancient code. Because after year or so .. I start to forget original thoughts, but I am still able to recognize meaning/problem/process from "outside person" view. Because .. there is NOTHING like "abanonded" or "finished" code. If it is "mystery code" .. than probablity you will need to understand that .. increases exponentially (law of universe).

3points

#124

Oh No

Final score:

10points

POST

#125

Naming Is The Most Difficult Part

Final score:

9points

POST

Tami 4 years ago

Just don't do it like Musk and Grimes!

4points

Logic and Reason 4 years ago

That poor kid...

1point

Nevid 4 years ago

As long as you remember to prefix it with the type or use.

0points

"Simo Häyhä" 4 years ago

*Names child "SleepTerminate1"*

0points

#126

Found This Beautiful Piece Of Modern Art In My Office This Morning

Final score:

9points

POST

Michael Green 4 years ago

Simple. Chic. Brilliant.

2points

Rod Egret 4 years ago

I love it!!!

0points

#127

Redesigned!

Final score:

8points

POST

#128

When Do We Want What?

Final score:

8points

POST

Annie Niemands 4 years ago

Check out aidungeon, it's a super cool project using natural language processing for a text adventure game. It will remember stuff and surprise you with its capabilities.

0points