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Can I get a [drumroll], please? Thank you! It’s the end of another month and it’s the perfect time to share with you the best new tweets that all of those witty moms and dads have posted on social media. Have a scroll through the humorous parenting tweets that our team here at Bored Panda has collected for you, upvote the ones that you enjoyed, and share your own recent fun experiences with parenting in the comments.

We know how much you enjoy these posts, so if you’re in the mood for some more joke tweets made by parents, you’ll find our most recent articles right over here: April, March, February, and January.

Parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, who runs 'Walking Outside in Slippers,' told Bored Panda that she's a big believer in letting kids explore the world "within reason," while also letting them know that their parents are always there for them. "I want my kids to know I'm here to answer any questions that arise as they journey through this occasionally cruel but usually beautiful world," she said, noting that a mix of parental support and letting kids become independent is best, in her opinion. And learning to deal with failure is a large part of growing up.

#1

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

LizerReal Report

Serial pacifist
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, perfectly natural post-quarrantine behavior.

Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perfectly natural pre-quarantine behavior

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Monic Krugell
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also got a fright noticing which bad 'lockdown manners' the kids picked up when they had more time to view our example....

François Carré
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the parents here didn't even mention what THEY were doing.

Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no excuse for bad manners even if you dining alone at home.

Claudia Dugral
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never liked children in restaurants... Messy, loud

Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are not messy or loud in resturants unless they are that way at home. One's children can easily learn good manners.

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Jane Alexander
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Angels compared to the little *&^%^* s I've seen and heard out in public.

Computernaut
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That description is golden. 😂

Dorothy Cloud
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What tripe. Didn't they watch their children at home. I wouldn't have allowed bad behavior at home OR in public!!

Carissa Jones
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a normal day out to me! haha!

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RELATED:
    #2

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Chhapiness Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The most beautiful princess of them all!

    Anya Beboop
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad indulged me like this as a kid lol

    Samantha PandaNotBored
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be grateful you have hair to put those things in . My other half and our heavy handed 4yr didn’t get that memo

    Ancsuri
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is very talented. I love the style

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    #3

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Bardhi's Dad
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They choose better company, that's for sure

    Dorothy Cloud
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And does the 9 year old want his hand bitten??

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honest, cute and clear thinking. Good job.

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    "I, of course, have tried and failed many times at many different things, and every attempt makes me stronger and more resilient," blogger Samantha, from California, opened up to Bored Panda about her own life experiences.

    "My kids should understand that failure is a necessary part of growth. One of my kids in particular gets especially frustrated when he doesn't get things 'right' the first time. But I keep reminding him that we can't always be naturally skilled in all areas, and working at things is how we get better." Samantha shared that parents can talk to their kids if they're feeling frustrated with the lack of success in certain areas.

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    #4

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    jaylabrenae Report

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he's seen his grandpa doing this?

    Yelena Yardeen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe, but his grandpa is just pretty young! I think Braylen may just has an old soul

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    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just remembering the olden days of chillin' with his mates with their diapers soaked in the sea. The days of mischief!

    LaTuaAmica
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Children repeat what they see

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Watching "his" children. These fathers are getting younger and younger.

    Blackheart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Old Man and the Sea.....I'll show myself out

    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just taking in all the beauty of nature, I’m sure the waves are intriguing

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    #5

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    curlycomedy Report

    Blakkur Sverrir
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate it, when parents just photocopy something and then try to sell it as their childs painting. You think we are to dumb to notice? Some people...

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see my stop right there, left of the blue squiggle..

    Tracy Costa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The G stops abruptly and then appears somewhere else. This is truth.

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Impressive the way she blended and balanced the colors.

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    huh...kinda looks like my bus stop map .-.

    DanieLegz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was spaghetti junction cables at first

    MarsFKA
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never getting lost in that subway system.

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    #6

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    BeeWhyAreDee Report

    Sabse
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think, she had a great day

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why you must never straighten black children's hair OoO speaking from experience. Straight hair on a child with naturally curly hair's head last approximately 12 seconds, and that's being generous XD my hair does that every single it's straightened lol

    Toast Of Saint Louis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God forbid you'd sweat and that's wrap if you do. If it's permed she'll be okay but that pressing comb won't help.

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    MalP
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She had an adventure filled and hopefully fun day!

    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are you surprised, don't you remember how much of a warzone school was

    Ola St
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    looks like she lost those two front teeth in a school brawl

    Silvia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was me all the time when I was little hahaha

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    Bored Panda also wanted to get blogger Samantha's take on what we can expect this summer to be like for families, considering the continued mass vaccination programs for adults and teenagers. She opened up about her own plans, too. "For me personally at least, summer is shaping up to be very different this year than last year. I've enrolled my kids in summer camp and summer school. Whereas last year, they were basically home all summer," she said.

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    "At the end of summer 2020, we did sneak away for a week in a cabin as a family. Just a few weeks ago this year, we took a three-day family trip to Disneyland. We're planning another road trip later in the summer, and lots of family gatherings."

    Meanwhile, Samantha revealed that after talking to other parents she got the sense that everyone in California is feeling much more comfortable to engage in "traditional summer activities." From barbecues to sending kids to summer camp. "It's a great feeling to be able to return to these activities (and people!) we love," Samantha shared her hope for a return back to true normality this summer.

    #7

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MumInBits Report

    Helena R
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine aren't even twins (first shock) and people are amazed (second shock) that they have completely different personalities

    DforDory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, there must be a tricikli in it...🤔

    Cheesy69
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two separate people??? Nah ur going crazy.

    Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah, we always got the , "you cant be twins and be brother and sister!"

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    #8

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    roastmalone_ Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure that you agree that my kid doesn't have any anger control problems....

    El muerto
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    where did you get that picture of me?!

    K Witmer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This made me laugh out loud and I scared my dogs. Thank you

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    Rachel Peterson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one made me snort coffee out of my nose....... still laughing....

    Erjenn Rejano
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not my dad, he almost fit. He's only 5'4 😂

    I Just Changed My Name
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Emergency elementary school meetings are never good, whether you fit in the chair or not lol

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    #9

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    simoncholland Report

    Paizleypie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice try but it didn't work. You'll not get to sleep in until she huts her teens

    Satya Bain
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom will tell you that this is also me.

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so funny. She doesn't have time to waste, so much to explore.

    JDH
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *sniff* I miss those days.

    Ragnhild Nilsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my girls had stayed up after their bedtime they's only have woken up earlier. Going to bed 30 minutes later to bed meant 1 hour earlier up. No, grandpa, they "can't just stay up later".

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    However much it might sometimes seem like parenting is an endless stream of fun and games, there are plenty of tough challenges that parents have to face every day. Stress, especially when seeking perfection, can lead to burnout and health problems. Fortunately, there are some very practical things that you can do to bring back a lot of the pleasure into parenting.

    Earlier, counselor Katie Rose explained to me that parents should avoid worrying over not being ‘perfect,’ how resilience is essential for kids, and how gratitude can help deal with overwhelming stress. Katie is the founder of the Chigwell Therapy Centre and a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

    "I think that as parents, we feel the need to be perfect,” Katie told Bored Panda earlier. “Usually, that means trying (and failing) to live up to unreasonably high expectations we’ve set for ourselves and are impossible to meet.”

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    #10

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Chhapiness Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. My son has to say goodbye to all the people, all the pets, all the soft furnishings.

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I recognize that dad. Hello, "fashion princess." =)

    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What you don't understand is... the closer you are to the school, the later you are.

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truth, we live less than a 10 min walk from my son's school. We just about get him there on time.

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    François Carré
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The closer you live, the worse it gets. You eventually fall for this "I can leave right at the moment I'm supposed to arrive there and still be on time" thing.

    Confused Flamingo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live literally 50 m from the school and I was always late and this year I was late for online classes as well🕺

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live about 30 minutes away from my school, but somehow we always get there 10-15 minutes early.

    LDYNREDD
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will never understand this. I have 2 kids and they are never late for school.

    Daria B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congratulations. You gave birth to übermenschen. ♡

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    Bardhi's Dad
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me, 45-50 years ago 😄

    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wake up my youngest daughter half an hour earlier than my 2 older ones. Still the latest.

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His pfp is the princess hair his daughter did (in an earlier post)!

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    #11

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Daisyldoo Report

    Bardhi's Dad
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next time ask him if he can count to 1001. But in his head, of course! Otherwise it would be a bit disturbing, I guess 😂

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    #12

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    ThisOneSayz Report

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a really sweet compliment buried in there. 😘

    Confused Flamingo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pls same I hug my mum all the time because of this too 😭😭

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my 8 y/o - "Mommy why are your hugs not as soft as grannies?" - Because I had to gym 7 days a week to get rid of the after affects of 2 oversized son's!!!!

    KatKaleen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't that the sweetest thing to ever fall on human ears?

    Dorothy Parker
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Rejoice. Would you rather have a six pack and no hugs? Wait. Don't answer that.

    Holly Allen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah? My daughter shook my butt cheeks and went "jiggle jiggle jiggle"

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was doing my workout years ago and my son was little, I told him I was getting my shape back. He grinned and said that round is a shape Mommy. We laughed.

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    The counselor continued about how avoiding perfection can, in fact, teach our children some very important lessons: "Instead, consider this. In order for our children to learn and grow, they need to understand that we’re not perfect—in fact, that perfection doesn’t even exist. Instead, by failing them in small, manageable ways, we help them learn to tolerate the small frustrations that they will inevitably face in their everyday lives in the future, helping them grow into successful adults."

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    #13

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dadmann_walking Report

    Bardhi's Dad
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha. I feel for you bro 😂

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Multiply that number by 10000 and you get the amount of times your wife has heard the word MOM at various levels of volume and urgency.

    Laana
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Such a great name 😁

    #14

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    deloisivete Report

    Tacocat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Almost. needs a few more syllables. I see the potential, though!

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    Momma Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Might use this one for my pre-bed meditation session

    #15

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    mommajessiec Report

    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then, one day, it disappears... to reappear the day after in a place where you wouldn't expect it.

    No_idea
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glitter is the herpes of the craft world!

    Computernaut
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I swear glitter spreads faster and further than COVID.

    DanieLegz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's in the genes now. Inherited now

    Valerie Rankin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A speck of glitter or a piece of confetti is called a confetto. Tell that to your toddler it will make her a hit on the playground.

    A Head
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had a swimming pool when I was in high school. One day one of my friends brought a friend with her who used sunscreen with glitter in it. It took about two years to eradicate all of the glitter from the pool towels. I'd take a swim, dry off, look in the mirror and find glitter on my face, and elsewhere. Damn you Michelle!

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    Contrary to what some parents might think, (some) boredom is actually vital for children. “It allows them to tap into their own imagination and creativity, and learn to rely on themselves. Next time you go out in the car, suggest that instead of staring at their screens, they look out of the window. Notice where you live, where you’re going, and what’s going on around them. Be curious about what’s around you, and help fuel their creativity," Katie said.

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    Meanwhile, resilience is one of the most important character features to help your children develop. Though we might want to protect them from everything and anything bad, this might actually stunt their growth.

    #16

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Wordesse Report

    Joanne O'Brien
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even bald men use this excuse!

    Carilyn Beverly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my case, I’m awake but my EVERYTHING else is still asleep 😴😂

    MarsFKA
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We've got a granddaughter like that.

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    #17

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    RodLacroix Report

    Lynne Monteith
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband showed our youngest how to tie a tie. A few weeks later he was going to go out wearing his old Ti Kwan Do Gee as a costume. He was tying the belt and his older brother says "You're tying that like a tie." "No, I'm not." He finishes the belt and looks down. "Oh Crap. It's a tie."

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are we relatives?

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You taught him time conservation , now you can learn together how to tie a tie and enjoy the ties that bind.

    danielw
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    guessing a four in hand. you should retie it as any of a dozen 'fancy' knots. The Eldridge, tulip or Merovingian knots are all classy! (and take up a fair bit of necktie, so you could probably use one of your ties, if they like them. If they don't like them, get better ties!)

    LaTuaAmica
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    At least, someone in your family had larger aspirations than using an already knotted tie. Do not limit his ambitions!

    #18

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    mommajessiec Report

    Bardhi's Dad
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol. I wonder what word he would use in a paper about Donald Trump 😂

    LotusWolff
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Orange mutherfuker that made America horrible

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    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If he said Julius Caesar needed to learn to chillax - he was accurate though.

    danielw
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    choices...choices... I would really hope that kids wouldn't know the top choices though. except Miscreant, Dastard and Dolt.

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    DramaDoc
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once used the word 'frenemies' in a paper to describe the political relationship of England and France between the 14th - 19th centuries. I think it was sometime during my 2nd year of my PhD program...

    Easily Excitable Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brutus was such a dudebro, but he totally effed up making besties with Cassius.

    Luis Hernandez Dauajare
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a teacher, I am intrigued... "Friends, Romans, countrymen, chillax!"

    MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My teacher would have a heart attack ,we studied it in 8th grade.One of my favourites among Shakespeare.

    JDH
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's perfectly acceptable.

    SirPatTheCat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using slang/inappropriately casual words for comedic effect is the only thing that saves essay writing from 9th circle of hell torture. Only works if you have that specific banter-y relationship with the professor but very fun overall lol

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    “Resilience is essential to help children grow into successful teens and young adults. While it’s important to protect children from the worst that’s going on around them, it’s also important for them to understand that things won’t always go their way, or that sad or difficult things might happen, and that they can not only tolerate them, but survive and thrive under difficult circumstances," the counselor explained to Bored Panda.

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    #19

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    threetimedaddy Report

    Mohsie Supposie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, there is some art in getting the pizza defrosted and baked correctly! You can take credit for getting it right.

    danielw
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Defrosted? I've never seen a frozen pizza that hasn't stated explicitly in the instructions to keep frozen until cooking. part of that is food safety. another part is, the pizza rises better. most of why you should is the food safety thing.

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    #20

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    copymama Report

    Dorothy Parker
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Hey, that's how Kylie Jenner got started.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe she can become a "self made" billionaire as well😅😅

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    Me Potter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was 8, I broke my arm from trying how hard I could fall without hurting myself... In my defense, I'm fairly hyposensitive to pain, and my parents took me to the doctor after noticing I held my arm funny - it took 10 days, and I barely noticed it myself.

    Laurie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I put a roach clip on my nose once. Oh hell, that opened my eyes!

    Glynna Bowood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your experiment hurt more I'm sure!!

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Patience and understanding, a good trait in a patent. Bravo.

    #21

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except, by the time you are done with the last one, the first one will be back..

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    Angie Buyong
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    works every single time! even when they have their own cup pf water, they still want momma's cup

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or make yourself some mean martini and forget about the kids. (so sorry, but I think I have been around 4 - 5 year olds for FAR too long)

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same for food, if my son decides he doesn't want to eat, I can make toast with peanutbutter on it and half it will be gone in the time it takes me to blink once. Followed by "Can I have it?"

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Or, just have water at home. Or always drink water yourself, because kids imitate the behaviour of their parents.

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    Meanwhile, if you’re feeling incredibly stressed out in your day-to-day family life, go outside. A simple walk or heading to the local park for some playtime can work wonders for your mood and health. Fresh air might not be a panacea but it really helps. A lot!

    #22

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    pro_worrier_ Report

    LotusWolff
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I had a dream like that, I would silently freak out.

    Blake Ingram
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please be careful about posting your age on the internet. It can lead to terrible things, and if admin on here sees it, you could get kicked off if you are too young.

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    Lisa Shelton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was around 9, I had a dream that someone shot my entire family in front of me. I woke up terrified and had to go check to make sure they were okay. My parents yelled at me for getting out of bed. That's why whenever my son has a bad dream I let him tell me about it and then I give him a hug and ask him if he feels better.

    Aroace tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ages ago I had a dream where my mum died. She said that meant that she would live for AGES... I believed it for years

    Boredzzz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a dream like that when I was 10+ something years old.. long time ago. It was AWFUL. Woke up sobbing and went to my parents' bed for the rest of the night. They wanted to know why I was so upset but I couldn't tell them. I absolutely could not say the words.

    Cheesy69
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can just tell that he is gunna have a great future ahead of him

    Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my 35 year old son called me almost in TEARS because he had a nightmare that i was dead and he couldnt read my handwriting to pay the bills!!

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fantastic answer, turned a bad scene into something funny the chid can dwell on and remember instead of adding to the fear.

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never have nightmares. I don't know why but the last nightmares I remember having was one when I was five or six and was scared of a movie.

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    #23

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    saltymamas Report

    Sinéad Quinn
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I so feel this. When my son has to write more than a sentence his world falls apart which means my world falls apart.

    #24

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dadmann_walking Report

    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 7 yo started collecting stones. There has been a broking tile in the bathroom for like 5 weeks now. No, it's not a tile that was used in our house.

    Jane Alexander
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm way over 7, still collecting stones. I'd share with him. I'll be on facebook s The Mineral Exchange from 5pm Pacific on 6-22 for 24 hours.

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    Call Me Mars
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That picture summed the whole tweet up!

    T J R
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me to my 4 year old: Boogers go in tissues, they are not toys.

    GaeFrog
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My autistic ass collecting food wrappers and never throwing them away bc they have feelings:

    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my little brothers favorite toys are a plastic bottle cap and a cotton ball😂

    Something else that helps moms and dads deal with the stress of taking care of their loveable little munchkins is practicing gratitude. By focusing on what we have instead of what we don’t, we can manage our expectations and lower our stress levels. “Practicing gratitude improves our mental wellbeing, makes us healthier individuals, helps us sleep better, and strengthens our relationships with family and friends," Katie said.

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    #25

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    AnnaDoesntWant2 Report

    Anita Grimes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its like it was her plan all along!

    nope
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you feel the need to lie?

    Aroha
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I eat all my breakfasts in bed. Joys of adult life 😁. (Also, no ants.)

    Anna Repp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This never works! My 15 y.o. still leaves food all over her room and no ants or cockroaches ever came! How dare they undermine my parenting techniques!

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You sure stepped in that one. Should have given a straight answer. No.

    #26

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter wanted to be either a fire engine or a princess.

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son (4) wants to be a fishing net, because he will constantly be below sea level, playing with fishes and small shrimps. So yeah.

    N G
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, I think your daughter has exactly what it takes. It already sounds like more quality material than some of the stuff that shows up my recommended feed.

    Beverly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why? That's all the Kardashians do.

    Bryn
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister wanted to be a cow.

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You would be surprised. I have seen way worse on youtube

    Confused Flamingo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me and my brother wanted to be spiderman🧍‍♀️ so we used to climb the doorways

    E Bytes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask her questions that you think people would ask about her stuff. Let her have her interests while she has them. I absolutely wish my Mom took more interest or even feigned interest in most of the stuff I liked instead of looking at me like she’s not interested and wish I’d stop. Maybe I wouldn’t be so discouraged sharing my interests or feel the need to apologize all the time when I go off on tangents about something that makes me happy.

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    #27

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MommySatirical Report

    Simzabandz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son says straight, "me dont want food, me want chocolate"...

    Simzabandz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol he honestly speaks like the leprechaun with a voice of a toddler...lol

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a regular conversation we have with our son at dinner time Him: "I don't want to eat." Us: "Why don't you want to eat?" Him: "I don't like food. Can I have a Cornetto?"

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bound to happen when you tell your kids that snacks aren't meals. You can refuse to eat a meal but still crave for a snack.

    Odin Schmidt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandson used to say "I'm full" and then in the same sentence ask "What's for dessert?" I would take the broccoli (or whatever it was he didn't want) off his plate and put it in a dessert bowl and give it back to him.

    Holly Allen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes and if you pull out the food he refused he will suddenly be full...it's amazing

    "Even if it feels like there’s little to be grateful for right now, we can always celebrate the small things in life—the sun shining, the pretty spring blossom on the trees, your favorite chocolate bar or takeaway, for example," she explained that there’s always something good in life that we can appreciate. And that can help parents see the fun side of what they do, despite the challenges associated with it.

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    #28

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MumInBits Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They start telling you... You don't care... They continue... You start caring... They don't tell the end... You are dying to know and you will never.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next on "jake and freya" TV show......

    Suzanne Lee Rouland
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But Jake and Freya will have forgotten all about it - so no use asking them either.

    Odin Schmidt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jake and Freya? Some kid's parents watch too many soap operas!

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, seriously, how does @LaTuaAmica manage to collect a whopping -300 points? they've only been on bored panda for (idk how long i checked but couldn't find out how to check how long someone's been on.) Btw I have 408 points and i've been on Bored Panda for less then a month! How do they do it???

    LaTuaAmica
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    points, commas ... will make your texts readable

    Jennifer Philhower
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you didn’t use capitalization or periods, so...

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    #29

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MommySatirical Report

    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then you find another chair, pour yourself a drink, and pretend you don't find them.

    Catlady6000
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget to say "oh my, what a good hider you are, I still can't find you" every few minutes and listen to the giggles

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    leia's emotional cupcake
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. They want to play hide and seek and they want to count, so they count to 8 and then can't find you. and then when they find you, they say "Okay now I will hide in this exact spot and you will try to find me" because they couldn't find you. And then you have to pretend you don't know where they are for a long time so they feel convincing. (speaking from experience.)

    Bad puns and finger guns
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was playing charades with a 4 year old and on her turn she said “ok, I’m going to be a zebra! “

    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My siblings were being crazy once, so I used the old excuse go play hide and seek I’ll find you! 1......... *fifty second later* 2.... Even my twin brother fell for it lol

    Elise Loo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where are you? I'm here mummy.....

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    #30

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dishs_up Report

    David Woollands
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We call puppy’s ‘Doglets’ and sometimes when o get in from work I say HI doglet.

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing here needs correcting

    Steve Ramaekers
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LaTuaAmica - you criticize constantly and miss the points for small things intended in fun and representing daily life. Are you just seeking attention here? You speak of manners. I’m gonna call you out on your manners as you seem to keep calling others out. Please, if you have nothing nice to say… don’t say anything”

    Kerri Peek
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call my puppy the puploon.

    Becky Lombard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We took my son to Crater Lake in Oregon when he was about 3. We explained to him that Crater Lake was a mountain until it became a volcano. As we looked over the deep lake, 3 year said, "Now we know what's inside volcanos." Me: "What's that?" "Water!" he announced! After we recovered from laughing, we told him he had very good reasoning, he just didn't quite reach the right conclusion. We didn't launch into a long lecture on volcanos, and thirty years later he is an exceptional human being. I don't think he's confused about volcanoes either.

    WildHoneyPie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like that. "Puplett" I'm gonna use it myself!

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's not wrong. Who doesn't have a billion nicknames for their pets? Pupperoni, for example.

    The Deez
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL! I call my dogs "pupperonis" all the time!!

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    Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    we have lovely new words from each of our children that we all use in our family, some for over 40 years now!! lovely!

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    #31

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    LifeThrewLemons Report

    Aroace tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thats what a fear of dogs is like. They are cute but you can't go near them- said from past experience

    Duncan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate, my daughter is always seeing dogs and saying 'doggie, doggie', but she wont touch one when near.

    Felix Seestrand
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do appreciate others respecting my private boundaries as well 🤷🏼‍♂️

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    #32

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    thearibradford Report

    #34

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    mom_tho Report

    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids, you see, when a billboard loves another billboard very much...

    Mere Cat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one to think that ad is super creepy?

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I came froim a cabbage patch, and the kids that weren't collected turned to dolls ;o)

    Bobby
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is the creepiest billboard i've ever seen

    Rando Pando
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok those baby sculpture thingies are freakin me out

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    #35

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Ava Noble
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    cute squishy little monsters!

    Demongrrrrl
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's pretend money.

    Allan Breum
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically, these days all currencies are. In the old times, money was backed by gold reserves. Nowadays, money has value because we think it does.

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    Anonymous
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to say where it comes from but I can't explain.

    ChinmayGhule
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you can't explain somthing to a kid, it just means that you haven't fully understood it yet.

    Elaine Mattingly
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The look on your face is priceless though.

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's cryptocurrency? Seriously I never heard of that before.

    Allan Breum
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BitCoin. DogeCoin. Aetherium. and so on. An entirely digital currency whose value is completely based on supply and demand.

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    #36

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    mom_tho Report

    cj be like
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the humans came from the human shop

    Adam C
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    #37

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Yeah, you heard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your summer holiday starts in MAY????

    T J R
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In response to the comment about American schools getting out in May: American schools end differently depending on what state you live in. Some schools get out in May, other schools get out in the first or second week of June.

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    Miss Cris
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They start on June 23rd here

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @LaTuaAmica if you wrote nothing you would still have more than -300 POINTS.

    Cheri Aline Sydney
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol idk ... You deserve an award for letting LaTuaAmica know how the rest of us view her non-stop negativity;, in addition to her know-it-all approach to every topic!

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    LaTuaAmica
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Are you teaching your kids tat a "prize" is to eat an unlimited amount junk food? Are you teaching them that to eat till vomit is fine?

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some children don't eat until they implode. Or until they start vomiting unstoppably. This dad obviously knows his kid.

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    #38

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    erdmanmolly Report

    Kristof De Smet
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stopped doing that. I now yell half an hour early that it's bed time. You wouldn't know how long it could take to brush your teeth (half an hour for a 7yo).

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wait till you have an 11yo, a shower can take an hour! ;o)

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    Curry on...
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my kids were little, I started them competing to see who'd get in bed first. I was really surprised how long that worked.

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately only had one so couldn't use that one ;o)

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    Jessica Malone
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our family does "wind down time" before bed, so the kids have time to transition into the mindset

    Anna Repp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, sweet times when I would tell my toddler she needs to be in bed in 15 minutes and 2 minutes later I tell her time's up!

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    #39

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    LizerReal Report

    Alex K
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    usually through the doggie door

    Kristin Ingersoll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently, they come from billboards?

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they come from UPS of course . Fedex didn't um.. make the cut

    Violet Smith
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ephemera has a fridge magnet for this. It says "I child-proofed my house but they still get in."

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    #40

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    jacaristar Report

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you do anything in your life with those nails? Downvote me billions of times, but I'm not being mean or rude, but seriously curious since you have kids and all

    Rosa Leff
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Literally the only thing I can't do with my long nails is get my credit card outta those parking meters where you have to dip your card in. Nothing else is hard! You use the nail instead of your fingertip or the side of your fingertips. It becomes an automatic habit very quickly.

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    Anne
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kid probably saw the heart and cant read yet.

    Dorothy Parker
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's New York. No worries. When I lived there this card would have been the Queen's English. Or Queens' English.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is not even a real sentence.

    Violet Smith
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine a hyphen between "dead" and "f***." It is a slang verb meaning "to be very passive during sex."

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    Just A Passing Parrot
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No wonder it's down so low. You can't get up with those nails

    KatKaleen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh god. I just can't see past those HORRIFYINGLY UGLY NAILS. Those are pure nightmare-fuel.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    srsly @LaTuaAmica just shut up

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    #41

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    aotakeo Report

    Green Machine
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry, but who/what is KID 911? I'm trying to get the context :/

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes absolutely no sense to me...

    #42

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    reallifemommy3 Report

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    #43

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

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    #44

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Monic Krugell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As lame as this sounds - you will miss being irritated by him sooner than you know.

    #45

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MamaNeedsACoke Report

    Iso
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    get died

    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kind of want to write a will in case of emergencies like if I die suddenly, but if anyone found it it would raise some questions that I dont want to answer sooo

    #46

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Mimi777
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My toddler did that the other morning super early. Then after being awake for 2 hours she passed out.

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    #48

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    RodLacroix Report

    Samantha PandaNotBored
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son does this to me all the time. I wish it was cupcakes bc I’d buy them in the morning, but no it’s always sandwiches, his class preferred his mums out of the other mums . So guess who always has to do this.... Me 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

    MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would just yell at me probably whoop my ass ,give me the ingrediants and check on me from time to time only to yell at me again .So trust me,if I never s**t until 9pm sunday ,I just never tell my mum.

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    #50

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    momsense_ensues Report

    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once asked my mom when her stomach would get back to normal (she just had a baby) and I die of shame whenever I remember it.

    Linda HS
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have never asked nor wondered anything like this about mom/ dad or anyone in the family....I find it rude for a kid to ask stupid questions like this. Is it only me?

    Cori
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A few (or maybe several) months after I had my second kid, a friend's kid asked me if I had another baby in my belly. No, darling. I'm just fat now.

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    #51

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MamaNeedsACoke Report

    Green Machine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I literally laughed out loud. omg so good.

    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Please don't tell him that, or else he'll be unconfident asserting an opinion again

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    #52

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XennDad Report

    #53

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    deloisivete Report

    Sista of the moon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You had us at the first half, not gonna lie

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    #56

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MumInBits Report

    #57

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dadmann_walking Report

    Mohsie Supposie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the more reason to cut them!

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    #59

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Lottie_Poppie Report

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    #60

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What should they tell you, after such creative warning method? "Nope.", or "What's that even mean?" and my personal favorite: "We'll see how the situation develops." ???

    #61

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, unless he specifically asked to wake him up, it's not your fault

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not her fault either way, fortnite's dead. I'm basically make her kid look good. thank me later

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    #62

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Dad_At_Law Report

    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this with my siblings. It actually works sometimes

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    #63

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    threetimedaddy Report

    Tim Pillinger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Although as far as I can tell nothing makes looking after a newborn look easier than looking after a 3 YO.

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Newborns aren't yet self-propelled (well, except boy babies when the diaper is off).

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    Mimi777
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m happy with only one. I can’t handle two lol

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    #64

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dadmann_walking Report

    #65

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    emilyfavreau Report

    Johnny
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so cheugy, I had to look that word up: The opposite of trendy. Stylish in middle school and high school but no longer in style. Used when someone still follows these out of date trends. This may include but not be limited to fashion, habits on social media, usage of slang, etc.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OML @LaTuaAmica i've actually had to copy your name just to tell you to shut up. PLEASE STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE AND RUDE ITS SO MEAN.

    LaTuaAmica
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Do you care about what a babysitter 17 yo thinks on how you dress? Is that the norm of your life?

    Lanie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come on, it must be really hard to be so serious all the time about everything. Some stuff in here are just a reminder that light jokes exists.

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    #66

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    wildrainbow2 Report

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOLOLOLOLOL i laughed to hard at this one

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    #67

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    deadbitterbaby Report

    Simzabandz
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my wife would clean and I'd be giving her clear signals not to because of our boi and she'd do it any ways, the minute she finshes, he pulls his whole toy bag and he is like, "You clean for me?" as he slowly throws all the toys out that his mother just nicely packed away lol

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    #68

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    momsense_ensues Report

    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'd better say 'yes' or else they won't close their eyes all night in fear of dying

    #70

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Shalini Pabreja
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it’s cool to knock the summer vacation but trust me, it’s more fun to wake up late, knowing there are no classes and no one needs you before at least 9 and you can visit grandma and cousins. You can laze around pools, have ice cream daily and just chill out in front of a great movie every night. Summer breaks are the best!

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    #73

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    Stephanie IV
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It’s probably funnier if you hear it, not read it.

    #74

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I made my mom a neighborhood in mineraft but i just did /locate minecraft:village

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    #76

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    HenpeckedHal Report

    WildHoneyPie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfect ratio. Keeps things interesting

    #77

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    StoneAgeRadio13 Report

    #78

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    pro_worrier_ Report

    Shelp
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I want to know how ants smell

    Mere Cat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A very stinging odour, relatable to the smell of pee, but more like .. stinging. But there's also a weird sweetness in it. Still, not a good smell. (At least the ants I grew up with.)

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    Vetus Vespertilio
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, ants do have an odour, depending on species. She could have hyperosmia. If so, it’s very useful. I was able to get four people to safety once when I could smell a gas leak no one else was aware of.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed to hard at this one

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    #79

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    sarabellab123 Report

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    #81

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dad_on_my_feet Report

    Alexis Draskinis
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure can! I call mine (14) "My Doof" when referring to him. He says hes a "dork" & knows it can from me. We have a very sarcastic household. We like it that way! Lol!

    Alex K
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i call mine "the tyrant"

    LaTuaAmica
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    It depends. Is it the actual case?

    Yeah, you heard
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    No, you cannot. Maybe check out another BP post about heartbreakung things parents have said or done towards their kids that the kids still remember.

    Lee F.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mentally. Like In her head. So no, you didn’t hear. Cause it was silent.

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    #83

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @LaTuaAmica leave this site now please and thank you <3

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can only see three reasons for your inane comments. Either you're very young, hopelessly naïve, or trolling.

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    #84

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Daisyldoo Report

    #85

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    dadmann_walking Report

    Stephanie IV
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Throw away half of it and do more stuff together. I know, it was meant to be funny - but half of the parents who pile toys and games into their houses do that to have a chance to a little peace and quiet for themselves. Kids need company in playing. Plus: if they’re alone, they need inspiration. Go build a fort. Or a marble run. Make a pancake stack with berries and cream. Explore something. Go on! Out you go!

    WildHoneyPie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha ha, I picture you making shooing motions with your hands...

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    bruce westfall
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm only 56 but you can adopt me. pls send address.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow. I wish you were my dad

    #86

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to the real world Sweety. I'm feelin' ya.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've done that all my life and i'm fine with it! i'm definitely not dead inside! hahaha! see? I'm laughing! that means i am enjoying life. 100%. yay.

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this needs to be a shirt and a mug

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    #90

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    UnexpectedSAHM Report

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    #91

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    momtransparent1 Report

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    #92

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    #93

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    gfishandnuggets Report

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And voice prompt phone menu systems which didn't quite catch that

    Green Machine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol! I've heard my kids get so frustrated I hear "Alexa, no, shut up!"

    #94

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    moderately_mom Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Distract the kid with a cookie. Works all the time.

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    #96

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    PatCunnane Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soon she'll be busy setting up a movement Parents Against Play-Doh.

    Vetus Vespertilio
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Play-Doh is tolerable. Plasticine, on the other hand, is grounds for divorce.

    #97

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    saltymamas Report

    BorPand8
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That's actually a lot of food for fish. Does your tank have a lot of algae? That's how you know you're overfeeding.

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He said without knowing the size of the aquarium nor the amount of fish in said aquarium nor if there's a state of the art filtration system present.

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    #99

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    copymama Report

    kristy sickles
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 19yr old son has had me in his phone as "The real slim shady" since he was 12 and I could not be more proud lol

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    #101

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MumInBits Report

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    #105

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    kaL12578 Report

    Green Machine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her level of restraint is next level.

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you mean 5318008, but I might be misreading it. Either way, your 4 year old will find it on his own

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you at least show him 0.7734 upside down

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He'll know how to do the BOOBIESS trick before he knows what the RM and CM buttons do.

    #106

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    RodLacroix Report

    labaguette🥖️‍🥖️‍
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So no ice cream? Jeez. That kid probably didn’t think about that.

    Uncommon Boston
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother decided not to eat any white food as a small child, no reason, just decided to do so.

    Ambar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    doesn't the child know that they can't have cake or cupcakes?

    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No ice cream for that child

    Maul!
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But we didn’t put the ‘e’ in it while cooking today 😏😌

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    #108

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That reminds me; I've actually heard a grown person ask "What's the number for 911?" At least your 4 year old has an excuse.

    #109

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    deloisivete Report

    #110

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    LotusWolff
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    3 year old: Mommy look *holds up some grass and mud* A SALAD!

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    #111

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the funny this, i didn't realize i had yt till i was 11. i was watching yt kids videos for 7 yr olds.

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    #112

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    darairene Report

    Kristy Nelson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some day she'll use that thinking power for something amazing! Just watch!

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so that's why shes so skinny. huh

    #113

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    snarkymomtobe Report

    #114

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    HenpeckedHal Report

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    #115

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    MumInBits Report

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    #116

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Heatinblack Report

    #117

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    HenpeckedHal Report

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    #119

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

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    #121

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish it was played more, as I am the older sibling being woken up. One time I woke up because my little sister was literally shaking my head like a maraca. I still have not forgiven her even though it's been years.

    #122

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Mamaoutoforder Report

    Jihana
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, I'd be more concerned if the kid said they don't want to hunt and hurt animals

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    #123

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    Dad_At_Law Report

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    #124

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    caroledwine Report

    #125

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You better cancel school. It is a CRIME to scare the bunnie

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    #127

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    snarkymomtobe Report

    Mere Cat
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My toddler had two different potties in the bathroom. She decides to pee in between them...

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    #128

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    ThatMummyLife Report

    #130

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    crimsntyd Report

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    #131

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    mommeh_dearest Report

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    #132

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    JannaKillHimNik Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody's ready for their own late night tv show!

    #133

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    EmSlyce Report

    #134

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    XplodingUnicorn Report

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    #135

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    AnniemuMary Report

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    #136

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    maryfairybobrry Report

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    #139

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    AnniemuMary Report

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    #140

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-May

    JustBeingEmma Report

    Terry Tobias
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're just trying to make a joke...right?

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... thats not funny. thats bad.

    lol idk
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ima get downvotes but it is not good to neglect your child over a TV SHOW.

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