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Flying to the moon. Scaling Mt. Everest. Plugging a USB stick into your computer the right way in on the first try. All of these are huge challenges. However, they somewhat pale in comparison to one of the biggest challenges of all in life—being a good parent (getting enough sleep as one grants extra credits).

Each month, Bored Panda collects the funniest and wittiest posts on Twitter that any parent is bound to relate to. Raising your munchkins is an adventure in itself and parents can’t help but share their tales with others on social media. Check out the best parenting tweets this August, upvote the ones you loved the most, and let us know how your family’s handling the end of summer and the start of autumn and starting school again.

I also reached out to British comedy writer, musical comedian, and single mom Ariane Sherine for a chat about why parents share their challenges online, about the start of the new school year, as well as for some tips for new parents on handling the cornucopia of chaos and confusion. You can read Bored Panda’s interview with her below, Pandas.

PS—you’ll find our most recent parenting tweet lists right over here: July, June, and May.

#1

Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

MetteAngerhofer Report

Getthepopcornout
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do this with my daughter, fun times ha ha

Linn Shonta
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But what fun!!! 😂😂😂🤫

Riley Quinn
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is genius! You must spread this news to other parents.

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    #2

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    phn1x Report

    ~hUmMuS vIbEs~
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty sure most people had a lemonade stall at some point in their childhood. Mine lasted an hour before I gave up and drank it all :)

    Mir Adwari
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe in some countries - in others it really isn't a thing.

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Genuine question: Is the whole 'Lemonade stand' thing, actually a thing anywhere outside the U.S.A?

    rspanther
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she won the game of Capitalism.

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is a pro-handler. You should have her expand the business.

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been doing tutoring for less than minimum wage. Hooray for getting $10/hour for putting up with a shouty kid. Meanwhile this kid is rolling in it.

    Evangeline Samos
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend’s little sister put up a lemonade stand and made like 35 dollars after selling just 3 cups for fifty cents because everybody wanted to give money to the sweet little country girl selling lemonade.

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not a film. It's real life. Teach her how to give change before she someone calls the police, if you are lucky. If you are not lucky, she could end up ripping off a real nasty piece of sh*t and get hurt

    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She'd probably give change to anyone who asked.

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    Peter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice to see humor on Twitter instead of just hate speech

    imontape
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to sell Happy meal toys to our neighbours :D

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    #3

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    TashP351 Report

    NsG
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The hamster lives! Either that or you've accidentally gathered proof of the Tooth Fairy's existence...

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh i really want the hamster to be alive but I also want that to be true!!!

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    Deborah B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put the hamster cage on the floor with the door open overnight. Bait with preferred treats. Also works for rats, mice, and snakes. With the snake, we also turned on the heating pad in the cage, and turned off the central heating in the house.

    Nicola Roberts
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had one of the hamster cages the grew and grew (lots of plastic tunnels, high and low). Every night Rosie would escape and return by morning! Evidenced by shredded carpet and a break in the tubes.

    Emily Raskauskas
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hamsters like lots of floor space that's all one level. They don't like tunnels. Those cages should be illegal, imho.

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    Frankie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhm not for much longer cause that poor thing is gonna lick paint off its paws

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope they are leaving out food and water

    Catherine McKenzie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow what a great example of not giving a s**t about the animals you're supposed to be responsible for

    Elizabeth
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My childhood hamster used to escape all the time! Put some food out for it in the middle of the floor and wait, that’s how we always caught her

    Hannah Kirtley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well... u have some sort of rodent loose in ur house

    Satu Nieminen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One large hamster if this is true. Also, the distsance between the steps is way too long. Cute but I don't believe it. :-)

    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    2 weeks without food or water? Was hammy eating crumbs not mopped from kitchen floor & drinking toilet water? Was all its meals white paint? Where did footprints end & why did it take 2 wks to see them? Do hamsters cry, wail or make sounds that no one heard? Is it skinnier?

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    Comedy writer and pop star in waiting, Ariane, told Bored Panda that parents sharing their experiences with others on social media helps them deal with the challenges that they face every day at home. What’s more, you can end up bonding with other parents over shared experiences. In the end, you feel less alone knowing that others have been in your shoes before.

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    “Sharing tough parenting situations helps you let off steam, alleviate frustration, and feel less isolated, especially when you’re a single parent, as I am,” she said. “Often other parents respond with their own anecdotes, so you feel less alone. And it’s always fun to share the hilarious things your kid says and does. I’ve tweeted so many of those that I made my daughter a book of the tweets for her 10th birthday, which she loved!”

    #4

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    deeprocktees Report

    Paizleypie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    . . . and catfood, don't forget catfood.

    Ashbug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cousin used to eat dog food when he was little

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    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This never clicked in my brain until just now...

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to the restaurant business. where people who actually eat dirt will now criticize your cooking.

    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yes and they have the audacity to say that i have bad taste in food

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    #5

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Chhapiness Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clever! I'm going to use this next time...

    Guido Pisano
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my wife used to say that she had an additional stomach dedicated to sweet things

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    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone knows there is a different department in the Stomach for the desert!

    Annette Easton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my family we have a saying that dessert takes up a different part of your stomach.

    Susan Bosse
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When he was about 4 or 5, my son said "My dinner part's full. My dessert part is empty."

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me: but when you bite into it? it won't be a circle anymore, will it? .. 6YO: jesus, mom, just give me the damn cookie!!

    Baby Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i always said that i was full, except for my desert compartment

    Fred L.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In our family we use to have a separate dessert stomach.

    lil_gremlin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is me but i say: m o t h e r t h e c r e a m e d i c e w i l l f i l l i n a n y g a p s .

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    give that child a cookie right now!

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    #6

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trying not to laugh out loud as it’s 4.30 am

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when people used to say how much my oldest daughter looked like me, my ex would say, 'that's really weird, because he's not her daddy. not even close.' she was a riot...

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    Ariane also gave me some insights into what the quickly approaching new school year is shaping up to be like this time around for her daughter, Lily. According to Ariane, some schools are getting rid of Covid restrictions for students in the UK. This is vastly different from last year. The rules regarding contact groups, aka ‘bubbles,’ have been relaxed, however, schools in England will be inviting students to be tested for Covid.

    “The new school year will be different for my daughter Lily, as there are no longer going to be class ‘bubbles’ and all Covid restrictions will be removed. It’s also her last year of primary school, which feels bittersweet. My baby is growing up!” Ariane opened up to Bored Panda about why this year is special for Lily.

    #7

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    hyperunknown
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm an adult and I still do whatever I want. That's the blessing of not having any kids :p

    Tassenküchlein168
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Obligations are not all about children. I know it’s kind of trendy to pretend that having children is the hell, but it isn’t at all.

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    ~hUmMuS vIbEs~
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why being a teenager is good: you have (most of) the freedom, without the responsibility.

    Mir Adwari
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes and no. Can be a difficult time - changing body, changing hormones, being treated like a child when you want to be treated like an adult and vice versa. I have to be honest, I would never, ever want to be a teen again.

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    Sophia Rose
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    being a kid sucked ass. do not miss it.

    Tee Witt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am waiting to be a pensioner and then I can do what I wish, if my body allows me.

    Edward Treen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup: growing up was my biggest mistake. They never told me growing up was a trap.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had an ice cream bar for dinner last week. And there was no one to tell me I couldn't.

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...maybe it's a matter of how you adult...

    Ece Cenker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where did the middle go, right?

    Vic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take my upvote, kind Sir..

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    #8

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mommajessiec Report

    Shona
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oof as a 14 year old- i love my cray cray family and im proud of it!

    Kristin Ingersoll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey! Adult Pandas! Look how many amazing young people we have on here! Can we please try not to be completely inappropriate and horrible in the comments sections? It's refreshing to hear teens loving on their fams :)

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    #9

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    CrockettForReal Report

    A Strike
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest just called the drawer in the fridge “the cheese cabinet.” Hahaha

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and, OP? and? how WAS the cheese situation?

    Amber Cook
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our house keeps and entire cheese drawer... never know what kind or size and shape you'll need.

    Tina B
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep an entire box of cheese -several pounds - full at all times..

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    What’s more, Ariane had some fabulous tips and tricks for those of you Pandas who are new to parenting. She shared with Bored Panda how she approaches parenting. Especially in tough situations.

    “I always try to parent with love and understanding,” she said. “When my daughter’s upset, I give her a hug and stroke her hair, and that calms her down. It’s essential to remember that your child’s frustrations and tantrums are rarely personal. They’re just a natural part of growing up, and we need to allow them to express their feelings.”

    #10

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still don't let him get it. It's infectious.

    Mewregaurd Hissyfit
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sad part is................he WAS talking about a clock!!!

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    #11

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    UnseenJapanSite Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kid is me and the brother is my life :(

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The brother is my problems! Always find me

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    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's all good, they both have smiles :)

    BabyBooby
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cutest kids ever🤩🤩🤩🤩

    Emma Gee
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never really wanted kids... but these two may have just changed my Mind. So freaking cute.

    Vic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This picture book was more interesting :-)

    lil_gremlin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the 2nd picture looks so comfy -w-

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    #12

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    kaL12578 Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids literally think their parents are fossils

    A Strike
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter is the opposite and very snarky about it. Any time I try to get out of anything by acting like I’m too old for it she goes: “ you’re not old, stop being ridiculous. You’re only 36.” Works every time because I’m susceptible to her flattery… which may be her hidden motive now that I think about it.

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am 54 and use a walking stick because I have a nervous disease, but otherwise I am healthy and fit. One day a female apprentice, 18 years old, looked at me while I was showing her something and asked in a tone full of pity "You seem to be so old and sick. Will you die soon? I like you, so it would be very sad". I just said thank you for the question and denied that my decease is close. My boss who heard it from the office began to giggle. From this moment he teased me all the time "hey, can I give you this project or will you be dead before the deadline", in a meeting "let's hurry up, so he does not drop dead from his chair before we close" or placed a book about time management on my table with a note "Carpe Diem" 😂

    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some kids think they are dying soon because of COVID. After a year of being told they can't go to school because they could catch a deadly disease, they are now being told they have to go anyway. While watching Wheel of Fortune last week, the local station ran a teaser for the 10PM news called "will your children die going back to school?" Its a tough conversation to have with a 7 year-old you are watching the show with to learn spelling and reading.

    Stephanie IV
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The children are scared that their parents might die, too.

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    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i remember being fascinated by the lines on my dads face, the rough feel of his beard by lunchtime even though i'd watched him shave at the crack of dawn. he was this huge...old, lord i couldn't imagine what it must be like to be old...man. this was a man. i was like...three, probly. when i was three? my dad was 23.

    backatya
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol hey you never know in life. A bus could run you over the next day

    Linn Shonta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch!! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂

    Sori
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All my students are speaking in a similar manner when it comes to covid.

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well at least she knows the amount of stress kids cause on their parents

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    So there you have it, dear Pandas. All the proof that you need that sharing your parenting ups and downs on social media isn’t just allowed, it can actually be great for your emotional health. Got any fun or challenging parenting tales to tell? Let us know all about them in the comments.

    #13

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Tobi_Is_Fab Report

    lisa thomas
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guilt trip on a whole nother level!😂😂

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean he's not wrong. I need this card.

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    which means now is the perfect time to begin teaching him about the economics of eating to survive...

    Tee Witt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Food, nutritious food, not junk food.

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    #14

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    ElyKreimendahl Report

    Robert T
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great! Now I bet you're wishing you taught her to wash her hands afterwards. ;-)

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you tell her to wash her hands afterwards.

    RandomBeing
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean besides the curse word that kind of positive reinforcement is great!

    April W
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed too hard at this

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    drop that 'accidentally', going forward. postive reinforcement works amazingly well...

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    #15

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    notmythirdrodeo Report

    yellowphantom
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And even if you have a different last name, all the teachers will call you or send you notes as "Ms.kid's last name", which is why I kept my married name after the divorce until my kids all graduated.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better than being someone's wife

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    At least you accomplished something by giving birth to and raising your kid.

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    LAS
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had been looking forward to that! I do a little happy dance inside every time one of my sons friends call me Dominic's Mom

    Brad Schaade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    2 days ago a kid got on the wrong bus home on our street. They still dropped him off. One of my daughter's friends stands up and yells out the window, "hi, daughter's name dad!"

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I traveled to Nigeria with my son Peter, everyone of the family by marriage and friends called me father of Peter, baba Peter. My name is Peter too, as my father and my grandfather and so on, traceable to 1790.

    Elsa Rosina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG! It's so true!!! I'm 51 and I still can't remember one of my besties moms name!!! She's just Jxxxxxx's mom in my phone!

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually I have my friends mom as her first name and last name.

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    #16

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Childhood is asking your parent for a cookie, they say tomorrow, the next day ALL THE COOKIES ARE GONE

    not your average weirdo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last night I asked for popcorn, my parents said in the morning, and in the morning there was no more popcorn.

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    Paizleypie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why they can't have one . . . you might run out too soon.

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And when you are old your kids tell you that cookies are not good for you because of the blood sugar.

    A Head
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep donuts/pop-tarts/cookies (I like my sweet treat at night before bed) behind the books on my bookshelf in my room so my kids can't get to them.

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nooo as a parent you have EARNED that right

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There simply has to be some kind of benefit to being the grown-up

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parenting is tough, you need the cookies.

    NWB
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel attacked! lol

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    #17

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    HenpeckedHal Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Terrible who? Teenagers: hold my beer (seriously hold it I'm not allowed to drink it yet)

    Kay blue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter started the terrible twos at age 18 months. She's now 21 and I'm still waiting for her to grow out of it.

    Mir Adwari
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother was still waiting for my younger sister to do this aged 30. We kept telling her 'give up mum, this IS her personality!'

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    Bad Mole
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    4-12 are the golden years. The toddler work is done and they aren't teenagers yet.

    GenXandEarnedItAll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine went from "terrible two's" to "terrorist three's." What a nightmare those years were!

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you cut off that Terrible Too waaaaaaaaaay too early. that ought to top out at around 99ish.

    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol my younger brother practically embodies this

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think my kinds had "terrible two". What's it about?

    Maiun
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No! 3 - leaving home = terrible too

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    #18

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "In my day... -WE ARE NOT IN YOUR DAY ANYMORE!!!"

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yowch! Or should I say in the ancient language used by his ancestor, AUAUAUAUUAHAAUAHAHAUAHUAHUUHAHAHUAHUAAHAUAAAAAAUAUAUAUAUAUAAAGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    v
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically speaking, in the kids day Jurassic Park would still be a documentary if it were a true statement.

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Buuurrrnnnn 🔥 My son, now 24, said to me grinning, that he imagines my youth like being in a b/w silent movie, with piano background music.

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's ok, his time will come!

    Ashley Conover
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a kid I'd tell my parents they were born during the time of dinosaurs.

    Troux
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    r/thingsthatdidn'thappen

    Juscella
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That honestly depends on the age of the kids.

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    #19

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    spicydisasterma Report

    Cori
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel that on a cellular level.

    Linn Shonta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, you love them dearly but some days you wish you could lose them for a bit!!! 😂😂🥰🤫

    #20

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    BunAndLeggings Report

    ~hUmMuS vIbEs~
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why not cereal made of Peppa Pig?

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least they didn't kill you (yet) it could be worse...

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I could wake up at the promise of Peppa Pig and cereal at 5 am, I would make it to work early every day.

    Pheebs
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m so glad my niece lived in a different state during her Peppa Pig phase. XD

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    #21

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    deloisivete Report

    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my house, we left Santa beer and sandwiches.

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...and maybe some nice cheeses...

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just leave a thimble of single malt whiskey and the fairy will be happy.

    Printerman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure our Tooth Fairy prefers whisky.

    Toea Muresan Iulia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or maybe stop drinking to not ruin your kids life

    P.A.B.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. You should look into therapy. Seriously. Hope you’re okay.

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    #22

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    ~hUmMuS vIbEs~
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't blame them! When your mum's on fire, it's the perfect time to roast marshmallows!

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This I know firsthand and it's extremely annoying.

    Zophra
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True story: I passed out on the living room rug. (low blood sugar or something). My husband said he came in because the kids were getting loud. They were sitting on me and saying "mom? Mom? Can I have juice? MOM?" in progressively louder voices. Husband tells me that one was even lifting my head to try to get me to look at him. Juice is very important. Did not know that only the mother was the keeper of the juice.

    Paizleypie
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know this to be my truth as well

    Tapio Magnussen
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That happens to me. I may be healing a bleeding injure or something similar and my wife just laid down in the sofa, that my kiddo asks to me whatever. I only take that as a compliment.

    Mrs. Joe V
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Literally!!!! Lmao.... (sigh)

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    have you met your husband? those are just smart kids, there...

    Kerry M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My stepdaughter will actually walk past her mum in the lounge and come upstairs to me in my office to ask for a snack 😄

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    #23

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thearibradford Report

    wow that's fantastic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just play calm meditation music while doom music intensifies in the background

    lil_gremlin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why do i hear boss music? *kahoot music comes closer and closer*

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    GenXandEarnedItAll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. "Vacation" for me is packing up my entire house, listening to the kids argue the entire way, unpacking it to another house for a week at the beach.

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you brought them with you? you fool!!

    #24

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    emily_tweets Report

    cj be like
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hi! just covering up a comment... have a nice day :)

    backatya
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    No that's most women

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Up to you to teach them

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    #25

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mom_tho Report

    L Mullen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fluffernutters for the win!

    Katchen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t try a fluffernutter until I was in my 30s and OMG was I missing out! Now I know what the marshmallow creme in the grocery store is for.

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    catslave6
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imaginary children are so perfect and so easy to raise! ;>)

    ThatOneWriter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amen. I called my mom and was like "so remember when I said I'd never bribe my kids? I'd reason with them?" I didn't even have to tell her. She knew. And she started laughing.

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOVE Fluffernutter sandwiches!!

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    #26

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    MumInBits Report

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That profile picture looks like the mom from Secret Agent Ryan Defrates

    Hazel M
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    At 4yo surely he can get his own banana? Then it wouldn't matter if he changed his mind

    Happi doggi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He’s probably the youngest, my seven year old sister is the youngest so she’s pampered AF

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    #27

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    deloisivete Report

    Ellie Rosser
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because of the vacuum-related carnage that could result if you use it wrong? How tired do you have to be???

    Karen Clark
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds logical to me....I'm gonna borrow this tactic.

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You gotta follow the rules!

    backatya
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so your husband buys you a different one (from a garage sale) so you can get back to work

    Meami
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'll still be tired. You never recover.

    John Augsburger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds to me like one of those energetic short people have to do it.

    #28

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    CrockettForReal Report

    Rachel Else
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok... but who bought the shirt for him? 😄

    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my son was like 2 or 3 he somehow happened to trip and fall and proceed to rip his bottom eyelid almost completely off his face. Rush him to the hospital and the whole time he's saying "I so sorry momma, I so sorry." (he is STILL that thoughtful and he's 17) I was like No baby it's not your fault, it was an accident (when it happened he was where he wasn't supposed to be) When we got to the hospital I realized that people were giving me strange looks, by this time his eye had swollen and he had a gnarly black eye but thanks to the swelling his eyelid was staying in place. I looked at him wishing they'd hurry up and take him in the back. Once they did the doc came in and said "clearly.' I was confused until I realized he was wearing a shirt that said "I do my own stunts." smh.

    Marny
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Z Alexi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Peddling violence...yech! "Toxic masculinity," indeed.

    Marny
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Marny
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, great - get them into toxic masculinity while they're young. Urgh

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    #29

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mindykaling Report

    Mad Dragon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kids is done in like 3 minutes so she can go back to being on the phone with her friends instead of being forced to sit with her family and answer questions about her day.

    Jess Thompson
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THEY DO, Mindy, they really do. They’re like the French.

    Kona Pake
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they never sit still.

    backatya
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well stop feeding them vegetables and other good healthy crap

    Thomas Turnbull
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just keep some bits in the fridge for later.

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well that's why you don't give into those urges and show a little restraint. take the time to butcher them properly...prepare what you're going to realistically be able to eat in a meal...and freeze the rest. idiot.

    Sue Lynn Chan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure mine would be like 1 day......

    april jenkins
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i could have unloaded the washing machine, hang up the laundry and back, they would have only just finished their second wedge of potato chips...

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    #30

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    simoncholland Report

    ~hUmMuS vIbEs~
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I ever have kids and I go to their friend's birthday party, I'm never taking that cake. Little kids spit everywhere when they blow out the candles.

    Viktor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude, once you're a parent your standards will drop like there's no tomorrow. Did I expect to eat half-eaten spat-out food from my 1-year old? No, I did not. Did I expect to eat food that I don't like because my baby is learning to share and offers it to me? No, I did not. Do I eat it anyway? Yes, I very much do. Sometimes it's the only thing I manage to eat while taking care of him...

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    Nicky
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take and eat the slice of pizza. As parents, we deserve a little pizza, too.

    Michigan Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you'd have to be pretty well lit to realllly want a piece of pizza at a kids birthday party...

    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    then theres the wierd uncle or his kid who litterally eat an entire pizza

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    #31

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    SaraBWarf Report

    Becky Moore
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read it in my psychology text book. I think it's less of a riddle and more to show that people automatically think the doctor is a man. Though it's pretty outdated now :P

    Q B F T
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not as outdated as you think - I think a lot of it unconscious too. I used to edit textbooks for learning languages - so lots of example sentences to demonstrate different structures etc. I spotted a lot of what I would guess to be unconscious bias, e.g. almost all example sentences about doctors or people in positions of power would be referred to with masculine pronouns or conjugations. When it came to personality, for example, if the sentence was expressing a negative trait (stupidity, vanity, etc.), the pronouns or conjugations were overwhelmingly feminine. I think this was unconsciously done, as when I spoke to the writers and said "you do realise you've used almost all the positive personality phrases to describe men, and the negative to describe women, don't you?", they were often surprised and didn't believe me til they read back their own writing.

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    Mtownmick
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A man and his son are in a terrible accident and are rushed to the hospital in critical care. The doctor looks at the boy and exclaims "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son!" How could this be? Believe me when I say 40 years ago this was a head scratcher. Not so today, :-)

    RandomBeing
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow really? Very glad I live now and not then :D

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I never understood how that is a riddle either...

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you are to young to remember when 99.9% of all doctors were men. Female doctors were unicorns.

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    Marny
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's so great! I hated that I was confused by that as a child. I'm so glad we're moving on.

    Julie Harden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mom told me and my softball team this riddle way back in the 80s - if I remember correctly, it took us the entire tournament (4 days) to figure it out. And to be honest, she may have just had to tell us. Lol

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guess the kid's got a point.

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Your 9 year old answering "his other dad" means he fully understands homosexual relationships, but probably doesn't understand heterosexual relationships yet as 9 is rather young for sex ed??

    Carmen Sandiego
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He probably only knows the romance bit. Pretty child-safe if you ask me.

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    #32

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mommajessiec Report

    cj be like
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    is the banana bread still available?

    GenXandEarnedItAll
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always tell the kids (like I had to do with my mother when I was growing up) if we had to be there at 1500 I would tell them it started at 1400.

    wow that's fantastic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whatever i can't remember to do, i copy and copy and copy, and i still forget

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    #33

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Chhapiness Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was it Monday though? Or it just felt like Monday?

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did a walk with my younger son one day. It began with a story about his brother and ended 3 hours late with aliens fighting dinosaurs who were under the command of his mother.

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    #34

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    sarcasticmommy4 Report

    Comfy Panda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quickest way to turn a good morning into a horrible morning with my 8 year old daughter.

    Trillian
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh this. We have been brushing her little teeth twice a day since the first one peeked out when she was 11 months old but at 5.5 years old she still acts like it's a horrible surprise when I mention it in the morning.

    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just literally described this evening at my house. Apparently I ruined his whole day 🤦‍♀️

    #35

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    anne_theriault Report

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! The term "killer whales" gets to me every.damn.time

    Ian Taggart
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dolphins are a subgroup of whales. 🙄

    #36

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    StruggleDisplay Report

    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh damn I have a strawberry lolly in my purse....I now feel like it's my red palm gem in Logan's run

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    #37

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I found out what a child's purpose is in life... TO DRAIN THEIR PARENTS ENERGY EVERY NIGHT

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    #39

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    JessicaValenti Report

    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    get a super crayon box she will be considered god that way

    GenXandEarnedItAll
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went to Wally World one year to buy school supplies for my 2nd grader. I had the typical pencils, colored pencils, notebooks, etc. College kid in front me had his school supplies as well....microwave meals, ping pong balls with the tiny cups and condoms.

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hooray, Mom!

    #40

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    lmegordon Report

    Vicky Z
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would wait 9 months before i panic if i were you

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was 7 when I started carrying around a baby doll everywhere. My dad very seriously told my mom they were grandparents now XD.

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    #41

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

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    #42

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    EmSlyce Report

    Tim Douglass
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It may not be good, but it is definitely effective!

    #43

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Dad_At_Law Report

    wow that's fantastic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this may introduce a benefit... what if they doing pole jump and the hiccup helps them jump higher?

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually this totally makes sense for both the athletes and the comentators. maybe the runners have issues speedbreathing if they have hiccups?

    #44

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mommajessiec Report

    Agamemnon Padar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adult boys are not better. My son, 24 now, gives me always a fist bump. 🤜 🤛. But sometimes he can surprise me. Last weekend, we had not seen in a while, we met by chance by his grandmother. He pounced at me, giving me the happiest and tightest bearhug you can imagine.

    Sleazy Weaver
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents, you were teens once. You know your kids still love you deep down. But you also know what they'll find deeply embarrassing at that age, because you've been there. Even if you find it funny, they won't. Why be mean? You're just depriving yourself of genuine hugs in the future...

    wow that's fantastic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i can frickin relate to this, i could never live it down at school when i was in 2nd grade

    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i do this to my brother when we pick him up from school (i kinda enjoy the embarassment he gets)

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    #45

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    LizerReal Report

    Pryjmaty
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will be my granddaughter! She's only 4 now, but is such a sassy pants and very independent. She knows what she wants and doesn't want. Wait...I take that back. This won't be my granddaughter. Boo(my nick for her) will tell the boy to "get AWAY & LEAVE ME ALONE!"

    Mrs S
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The force is strong with this one

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    #46

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    pro_worrier_ Report

    #47

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    laurastevenson Report

    Little Dino
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an atheist, I will also now adopt Elmo as my God

    Not Bill Cipher
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. *elmo fire meme that I wish I could post but I can't figure out how to post pictures*

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    #48

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would say “then eat some more of your food to fill the cracks instead.”

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    #49

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See, 4 year olds are even better at inventing words than English is

    Annamagelic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ways young children use language is often funny, but also genuinely fascinating.

    over it already
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! My oldest decided at that age that underarms/armpits were called underpits. She's 15 now & I still love that portmanteau of 2 portmanteaus.

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    #50

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    HenpeckedHal Report

    wow that's fantastic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if she lands on broccoli and eats it i would be surprised

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just tell her you're gonna take away the broccoli and she'll eat it. Psych them out.

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    #53

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    reallifemommy3 Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So... She thought she was eating people, and she was not disturbed at all... Ok... That's slightly creepy, though.

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    truuee..but if it means getting her to eat those veggies....

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    #54

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    HenpeckedHal Report

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They just love you so much and want to be where you are. Sometimes quite annoying, other times it melts the heart right out of your chest.

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son is grown... but I have 6 cats that have to be on whatever side of a closed door they are not currently on so I have learned to leave the door cracked when I am in there (unless we have company because that would be TOO weird).

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son just HAS to watch me pee. I’ll go into the toilet and then comes the voice “I need to watch”

    #55

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Erinbabysteps Report

    Orion Countryman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean if I take a nap, I can barely fall asleep later, so maybe the kid is right.

    #56

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Chhapiness Report

    Couch potato
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Erm... Both at the same time. Don't forget the sticky side of the honey jars all the time

    april jenkins
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she is still struggling to get it out of the fridge..

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    #57

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    sweetmomissa Report

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Considering how little (and how badly) kids tend to wash their hands, and what else they get up to all day, I feel masks for them are not exactly helpful?

    Annamagelic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well the science says otherwise. Also kids in school wash their hands more than most adults I know. At least at my children's school they all wash their hands when they arrive, before snack, before lunch, after outdoor recess, and any time they use the restroom.

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    John Ford
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Kids don't get corona

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    … you do realize that tons of children have literally DIED from COVID-19, right?

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    #58

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    simoncholland Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or have kids and cycle to a park with them on a lazy Saturday morning where they play and have a cheese sandwich with milk afterwards talking about how much fun they had instead of how well they performed.

    #59

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mommajessiec Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can remember when my dad got that list and crossed out all the specific brands. "A pencil is a pencil and a notebook is a notebook. I ain't going to pay €4 for a pencil when I can buy 50 of them for €3,55."

    LiuLiu
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my daughter needed a blackfolder for school when she was 8, it was impossible to find so I gave her a folder and wrote black on it

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    #61

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Dad_At_Law Report

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my house, my mom will start offering money for whoever finds it.

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We just kick everyone off the video games until it's found. Even more effective.

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    #62

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

    Danica Wishkovich
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And a mom loves that you're sitting in that car judging while she gets everybody's shoes on. What a hero

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me to wife: "Are we ready to go? " Wife: "Yes" Me (walking to the door): "Ok" Wife: "Hold on, I first need to pee, than I have to change shoes and find my purse and cigarette case."

    Annamagelic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meanwhile can't understand why mom takes another 20 minutes, and flies into a murderous rage when he asks what took so long. Time she spent finding everyone's shoes, tying at least one pair not her own, packing snacks, grabbing jackets, answering 500 questions about where are we going, what are we doing, getting the tickets or invitation or gift, finding the lost toy that is suddenly absolutely esential for the car ride, realizing one kid has breakfast all over their face and attempting to clean them up despite their objections then finally getting her turn to use the bathroom.

    LuciBelle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then after all this, all three kids buckled in their car seats mine would "run back in to the bathroom" for half an hour. He's lucky I never strangled him.

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    #63

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    pro_worrier_ Report

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    #65

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    ElyKreimendahl Report

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bwaahahahahahahahhaha omg priceless!1

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    #66

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    lindafruits Report

    A Strike
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Baskin Robbins I used to take my 3 children to every Friday “closed down” once COVID hit. It decided to stay closed once I saw how much money I was saving.

    #67

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    mom_tho Report

    Michelle Brandt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup mine does this too....I've started asking her "toasted or not toasted?" whenever she asks for it.

    #68

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    threetimedaddy Report

    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually there is but instead of saying anything they give the coldest death stare ever!

    Lotus Flower
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same person that only ate one Lay’s chip

    Not Bill Cipher
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not possible. I've been around, and let me tell you...

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    #69

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Tobi_Is_Fab Report

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know when my kids have done something because one of them will run up to me with "X said" or "X did" with X just behind them

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    #70

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    threetimedaddy Report

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good luck with that, my brother is almost 14 and he still rambles on and on about Minecraft.

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Also teaching him poor grammar and swearing...

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's 11. She isn't teaching him grammar. Someone else is by now.

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    #71

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thedad Report

    Cath Homer
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At 6, my son woke me at 5am in a panic because he needed to know if sharks have eyelids

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a child..My father when he had Alzheimer's said one day during a snow storm "We need a bigger window." (Why?) "So we can spread some more mayo on it." (And what would that do?) "Because then we could make more gasoline....." Big pause (I'll get right on it..) ;-)

    troi
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's Green... Red & Blue, Green & Yellow :)

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    #72

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    jduffyrice Report

    wow that's fantastic
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "pee pees should take a minute while poo poos should take 3 hours!"

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    paren't wheter you have kids or pets. when it comes to he bathroom.. doors are obsolete

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    #73

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    michimama75 Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. Just because you say something nice doesn't mean that you get instantly rewarded. That only works in politics.

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    #74

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    BunAndLeggings Report

    Aroace tiger (any pronouns)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next time I have music first or last I'll steal this pun thank you very much

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    #75

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    KentWGraham Report

    A Strike
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe it’s called the army. ;)

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine is in college and it is entirely on-line, so home it is! (But I am happy to have him... most days... on the days he does things like "forget" the recipe for ice, I'm not so sure. LOL)

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    #76

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    thearibradford Report

    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By 22months and 3 weeks, you'd be saying "2 next month"

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    #77

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Marissa Taylor
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    shhhhhh if it buys you at leat 5 min of quiet then shush

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    #78

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    LizerReal Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a myth that parents don't have a favorite child.

    Unnamed Hooman
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My little brother and sister are the favourites, my little brother is a mama’s boy, and my little sister has really curly hair and a bouncy personality (only around my parents, around us she’ll hiss and literally bite).

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    #80

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    JenAshleyWright Report

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    #81

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    bessbell Report

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    #82

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    RodLacroix Report

    indiecognition
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It hurts less when you take band-aids off in the shower. When I do, I barely even cry.* (*crying in shower may or may not be related to pulling off the bandage)

    #83

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    MichaelVogel1 Report

    #84

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    jduffyrice Report

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    #85

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    copymama Report

    Forrest McCanless
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I donate blood - for the Nutter Butter cookies without guilt - I've given almost seven gallons.

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids really didn't have a great day when they couldn't stuff their faces with a lot of junk food so they had to puke at least once.

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    #86

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    Wordesse Report

    Sam rice
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could be a king size bed but mine will miraculously take up the whole bed and insists on being as close to me as possible

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    #87

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    HenpeckedHal Report

    #88

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    maryfairybobrry Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or else, they can just walk. You know, it is that thing they do with their legs to move.

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    #89

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    daddygofish Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    They worked in mines. The children worked in mines too. And then they died.

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    #90

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    SnarkyMommy78 Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't worry kid, that's what everyone else did too.

    #91

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    HomeWithPeanut Report

    #92

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    meena Report

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    #94

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    RodLacroix Report

    #95

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    kibblesmith Report

    #96

    Funny-Parenting-Tweets-August

    simoncholland Report

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    5am? 6am? Oh 3am! Good luck, bro!

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