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Spare a thought for Santa. He gets millions of letters a year to trawl through, with the vast majority of them boring and formulaic along the lines of “Dear Santa can I have an X-Box for Christmas please.”

However from time to time there are little nuggets of genius or hilarity that must surely make the jolly old guy crack a smile. Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are especially forthright when it comes to making requests (or demands), so we here at Bored Panda have decided to make a list of the funniest, frankest and most bizarre Santa Letters kids have ever sent.

Scroll down to check out the list below, and don’t forget to vote for your favourite!

#1

My Mom Is A 4th Grade Teacher. Here's One Of Her Muslim Student's Letters To Santa

My Mom Is A 4th Grade Teacher. Here's One Of Her Muslim Student's Letters To Santa

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EvieNiffler
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know why all these comments were downvoted, so I voted them back up. This girl rocks and it's lovely to see people putting religious biases aside to celebrate the true teachings of their religion - happiness and love towards all. If only everyone thought the way this little girl did.

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#2

8 Year Old's Letter To Santa

8 Year Old's Letter To Santa

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Tamara Laney
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heartbreaking & heartwarming at the same time. What a wonderfully kind brother and human being !

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#3

My Daughter's Christmas List

My Daughter's Christmas List

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Tamara Laney
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Determination, smarts & creativity...this kid's gonna go far. Well done!

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#5

So This Store Had A "Dear Santa" Writing Area For Children And This Is What I Saw

So This Store Had A "Dear Santa" Writing Area For Children And This Is What I Saw

Neloku Report

#7

My 11-Year-Old Nephew Made My Mom A Christmas List. Lmao I Feel You Dawg

My 11-Year-Old Nephew Made My Mom A Christmas List. Lmao I Feel You Dawg

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TheKnightOwl
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It'd be nice if kids didn't have to hear about politics from grown ups. Let kids be kids, and make up their own mind where they stand once they're older.

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#8

Don't Know If I Should Laugh Or Cry. Letter To Santa Left In The Cookie And Milk Plate

Don't Know If I Should Laugh Or Cry. Letter To Santa Left In The Cookie And Milk Plate

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#9

A Letter To Santa From My Brother's 5th Grade Class - "There Will Be Consequences"

A Letter To Santa From My Brother's 5th Grade Class - "There Will Be Consequences"

zethgoarzz27 Report

#10

I Told My First Grade Class They Were Writing Their Letters To Santa. I Should Have Been More Specific

I Told My First Grade Class They Were Writing Their Letters To Santa. I Should Have Been More Specific

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Peggy Ward
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids do take things literally, I lauged my a*s off on this one!

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#11

My Boy's Son Put Together His Christmas List. The Random $29 Has Me Rollin'

My Boy's Son Put Together His Christmas List. The Random $29 Has Me Rollin'

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#12

As A Jew, Christmas Time Was Always The Hardest Time Of The Year. This Is What I Wrote To Santa When I Was 9

As A Jew, Christmas Time Was Always The Hardest Time Of The Year. This Is What I Wrote To Santa When I Was 9

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Peggy Ward
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Always seemed mean to me for little ones not to celebrate due to parents religion!

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#14

My Sister Is 9 And This Is Her Christmas List

My Sister Is 9 And This Is Her Christmas List

Selena_Ghazali Report

#15

Little Brother Wrote Santa A Thank-You Card

Little Brother Wrote Santa A Thank-You Card

tanzenita Report

#16

My Good Friend's Note To Santa Right After Titanic Came Out. She Was 9

My Good Friend's Note To Santa Right After Titanic Came Out. She Was 9

RennBrown Report

#17

So My Cousin Found Out That Santa Isn't Real

So My Cousin Found Out That Santa Isn't Real

tmbcake13 Report

#18

He May Look Sweet, But He Is The Devil

He May Look Sweet, But He Is The Devil

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#19

My Niece's Letter To Santa

My Niece's Letter To Santa

orangeworker Report

#20

This Is My 4-Year-Old's Letter To Santa. I Think She's On Her Way To Becoming A Doctor

This Is My 4-Year-Old's Letter To Santa. I Think She's On Her Way To Becoming A Doctor

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#22

Mall Santa, Meet Skeptical 8yo

Mall Santa, Meet Skeptical 8yo

ronbron Report

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Poor unfortunate soul
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never thought about what the elves did as “slave labor” but... I’m rethinking things.

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#23

Creative Wish

Creative Wish

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Miss Cris
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how she or he crossed out her name to put it smaller and in another place

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#24

My Childhood Letter To Santa Claus

My Childhood Letter To Santa Claus

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Mama Panda
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many wasted childhood years of asking for toys when I could have asked for a clean room! I wonder if Santa would be willing to clean my house now? hahahaha

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#25

A 4-Year-Old's Epic Christmas List

A 4-Year-Old's Epic Christmas List

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Emily Rose
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I want a shark that goes underwater and grabs me corndogs that are already baked!

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#26

5-Year-Old Letter To Santa Asking For GTA V: "I Just Want To Play With The Cars, Not The Hookers!"

5-Year-Old Letter To Santa Asking For GTA V: "I Just Want To Play With The Cars, Not The Hookers!"

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#27

A Note My 6 Year Old Sister Left For Santa Hahaha

A Note My 6 Year Old Sister Left For Santa Hahaha

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#28

Nephew's Letter To Santa

Nephew's Letter To Santa

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#29

Mom Busted Out A Box Of Old Santa Letters Today - Looks Like My Career As A Smartass Began At A Young Age

Mom Busted Out A Box Of Old Santa Letters Today - Looks Like My Career As A Smartass Began At A Young Age

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#30

This Is The Letter My Niece Sent To Santa. She's 7

This Is The Letter My Niece Sent To Santa. She's 7

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#31

Jeremy Has A Problem With His Gifts. And With His Nerves As Well

Jeremy Has A Problem With His Gifts. And With His Nerves As Well

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#32

My 9 Year Old Brother's Note To Santa, Signed By The Man Himself

My 9 Year Old Brother's Note To Santa, Signed By The Man Himself

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#33

Addisyns Letter To Santa!! Cutest And Funniest Thing I've Ever Read!

Addisyns Letter To Santa!! Cutest And Funniest Thing I've Ever Read!

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Peggy Ward
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a winner, the part about the baby peeing in her mouth is too sweet, plus I love the name Addisyn!

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#34

What I Want For Christmas This Year Is...

What I Want For Christmas This Year Is...

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#35

How To Make Sure Santa Is Real, 8yo Logic

How To Make Sure Santa Is Real, 8yo Logic

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#37

1993 Letter To Santa

1993 Letter To Santa

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#38

I Present My Co-Worker's 10-Year-Old Nephew's Letter To Santa

I Present My Co-Worker's 10-Year-Old Nephew's Letter To Santa

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#40

A Pair Of What?

A Pair Of What?

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TheKnightOwl
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me awhile, but I think it's 'tights'...'ripped tits' took me to a bad place. :-/

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#41

Oh, And Just An Easy $25,000

Oh, And Just An Easy $25,000

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#42

I Can't Make This Stuff Up! This Is My Nephew Christmas List

I Can't Make This Stuff Up! This Is My Nephew Christmas List

theangieg Report

#43

He Was Told To Write A Letter To Santa

He Was Told To Write A Letter To Santa

MichaelRahmani Report

#44

If Anyone Is Having Trouble Getting Into The Christmas Spirit... Here’s A Letter To Santa Written By One Of My Students

If Anyone Is Having Trouble Getting Into The Christmas Spirit... Here’s A Letter To Santa Written By One Of My Students

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Peggy Ward
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, just to play it safe, I'll write you a letter anyway!

#46

Couple Things For Christmas

Couple Things For Christmas

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Sushi Smack
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i think this kid wants a pet. i dunno... maybe a cat or dog.. i cant tell >u<

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#48

My Eldest Son Wrote A Letter On Behalf Of My 3yo. It’s So True. He’s Been Asking How Long Until Christmas Since January

My Eldest Son Wrote A Letter On Behalf Of My 3yo. It’s So True. He’s Been Asking How Long Until Christmas Since January

babymazeuk Report

#50

Coworker's Daughter's Letter To Santa. Clearly Not Afraid To Ask The Tough Questions

Coworker's Daughter's Letter To Santa. Clearly Not Afraid To Ask The Tough Questions

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#52

My Teacher Found This Note To Santa In Her 8-Year-Old's Bedroom

My Teacher Found This Note To Santa In Her 8-Year-Old's Bedroom

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#53

Santa Letter

Santa Letter

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#54

My Sister Just Walked In & Handed My Parents Her Christmas List. Don't Know If I'm Scared Or Impressed

My Sister Just Walked In & Handed My Parents Her Christmas List. Don't Know If I'm Scared Or Impressed

emaggg Report

#56

Instead Of Asking For Toys This Year, My Kid Wrote A Motivational Letter To Santa. "Dear Santa, I Think That You Should Be A Lot More Skinnier So On The Back Side There Is A Picture Of You Being Skinnier"

Instead Of Asking For Toys This Year, My Kid Wrote A Motivational Letter To Santa. "Dear Santa, I Think That You Should Be A Lot More Skinnier So On The Back Side There Is A Picture Of You Being Skinnier"

RandomFlotsam Report

#57

High Importance Questions From Olivia

High Importance Questions From Olivia

Trezi Report

#58

Came Across A Good Letter To Santa While I Was Volunteering Tonight

Came Across A Good Letter To Santa While I Was Volunteering Tonight

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#59

Cousin's Letter To Santa

Cousin's Letter To Santa

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#60

My Daughters Christmas List To Santa

My Daughters Christmas List To Santa

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Pi...
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like a croods rainbow tiger plushie too! Or appa from the avatar air bender series

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#61

My Kid Is Pretty Amazing

My Kid Is Pretty Amazing

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#62

King Of The North?

King Of The North?

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#63

Walmart Gold Digger

Walmart Gold Digger

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#64

French Fries, Computer And A Chicken Nugget

French Fries, Computer And A Chicken Nugget

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#65

Please Read This Letter My Brother Wrote To Santa When He Was 7

Please Read This Letter My Brother Wrote To Santa When He Was 7

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#66

Letter To Santa From 12-Years-Old

Letter To Santa From 12-Years-Old

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#67

Quite Scary

Quite Scary

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#68

And Here Is Some Fruit Salad And Water To Help Your Type 2 Diabetes

And Here Is Some Fruit Salad And Water To Help Your Type 2 Diabetes

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#69

My Christmas List When I Was 7

My Christmas List When I Was 7

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Danielle Tropea Ibclc Cpst
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like how he throws in the picture of a girl - at the end and in very small letters. Not creepy AT ALL.

#70

Something For My Community, Like... McDonalds

Something For My Community, Like... McDonalds

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#71

My Niece's Letter To Santa. At Least She Asked For His Permission!

My Niece's Letter To Santa. At Least She Asked For His Permission!

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#72

If You Know Where My Black Leggings Are Please Write Back

If You Know Where My Black Leggings Are Please Write Back

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Nancy E
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sophie, I'm an adult, & I just found a belt I had been looking for ,for 3 long years.

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#73

Letters To Santa About Krampus

Letters To Santa About Krampus

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#74

Well That About Sums It Up!

Well That About Sums It Up!

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#75

Going Through The Letters At Work Before We Send Them Off To Santa

Going Through The Letters At Work Before We Send Them Off To Santa

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#76

I Was Almost 3 Years Old, Had My Grandma Write It, And Didn’t Quite Know My Holidays Yet

I Was Almost 3 Years Old, Had My Grandma Write It, And Didn’t Quite Know My Holidays Yet

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#77

We Printed 600 Santa Letters In The Paper This Year, And This Is One Of My Favorites. The Three-Ring Binder Kills Me

We Printed 600 Santa Letters In The Paper This Year, And This Is One Of My Favorites. The Three-Ring Binder Kills Me

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serena
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why? just sounds like they asked for what they needed.

#78

All Little Jerry Wants Is A Bulldog, A Science Kit And A 'Porthole' To The Pokemon World

All Little Jerry Wants Is A Bulldog, A Science Kit And A 'Porthole' To The Pokemon World

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#80

My 10 Year Old Son's Christmas List. I May Come Up A Little Short On Some Of These

My 10 Year Old Son's Christmas List. I May Come Up A Little Short On Some Of These

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Tamara Laney
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The drawing next to "Don't let me down" ! What the? Hilarious!

#81

Dear Santa, I Flushed My Brothers Head In The Toilet But Can I Have A Puppy

Dear Santa, I Flushed My Brothers Head In The Toilet But Can I Have A Puppy

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#82

In Case You're Having A Bad Day, Here's My 3 Year Old Sister And Her Christmas List

In Case You're Having A Bad Day, Here's My 3 Year Old Sister And Her Christmas List

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#83

The Jig Is Up "Santa"

The Jig Is Up "Santa"

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#84

My Sister Is A Children's Librarian. She Sent Me This Picture Of A Letter They Got In "Santa's Mailbox."

My Sister Is A Children's Librarian. She Sent Me This Picture Of A Letter They Got In "Santa's Mailbox."

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#85

My Nephew's Christmas List

My Nephew's Christmas List

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#86

"A Baby Jesus To Sleep With, Not A Real One"

"A Baby Jesus To Sleep With, Not A Real One"

Sarah Report

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#87

My Son Is Amazing

My Son Is Amazing

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#88

Skye's Letter To Santa. I Don't Think You Are Fat

Skye's Letter To Santa. I Don't Think You Are Fat

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#89

Dad, Take This Down

Dad, Take This Down

n8luit Report

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#90

This Is A Letter My Little Terror In Class Wrote To Santa While I Was Out On Friday. It Says: I Know That Santa Is A Fraud! Now I Want That Elf Gone!

This Is A Letter My Little Terror In Class Wrote To Santa While I Was Out On Friday. It Says: I Know That Santa Is A Fraud! Now I Want That Elf Gone!

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Nancy E
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exclamations are like an adult using all capital letters

#91

This Year Big One Claims He's "Going Simple". Where Did He Get That

This Year Big One Claims He's "Going Simple". Where Did He Get That

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#92

Hope I Didn't Give You Too Much Whiskey

Hope I Didn't Give You Too Much Whiskey

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#93

Life Is Simpler Aged 2,5

Life Is Simpler Aged 2,5

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#94

At Least The Kid Is Honest

At Least The Kid Is Honest

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Pi...
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a paradox! Do you reward good behaviour? Or do you reward honesty?

#95

And Please Give Me Some Money This Is My 6-Year-Old Sister's Christmas List

And Please Give Me Some Money This Is My 6-Year-Old Sister's Christmas List

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#96

"I Believe In You More Than Hanukkah"

"I Believe In You More Than Hanukkah"

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#97

My Sons Note To Santa. "All I Want Is My Two Front Teeth"

My Sons Note To Santa. "All I Want Is My Two Front Teeth"

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