To some, Christmas is a serious festivity, a time for gathering the family and reflecting over the year. To others, it’s a celebration that’s all about giving and kindness. But you know what makes it all better and even more worthwhile? Why, humor, of course! That’s precisely why we’ve gathered this list of the best Christmas jokes ever - to make your good deeds even merrier and to annoy Aunt Janice with so-lame-it’s-awesome jokes over Christmas Eve dinner. Or to say to Father Christmas himself as a ransom for your present. A quick transaction is guaranteed with these hilarious jokes, and the present will surely be signed, sealed, and delivered in no time. 

To you, dear readers, our good deed is this list - a jolly merriment, an authentic barrel of fun! If classy he-said-she-said jokes aren’t your cup of tea, we’ve tried our best to cater to anyone’s taste. There are Christmas puns, darker-toned jokes, prosaic farces, Flaubert-esque pastiches, and all the good stuff on Christmas. Besides having covered all the possible styles of whimsy, we’ve also delved into most of the holiday topics. A joke for Rudolph, a pun on Santa Claus, and a one-liner on gifts; all you could ever need in one place! 

But, lest we spill all the merry beans and spoil you with the best Christmas jokes before you even have the chance to read them - scroll down below and check them out for yourself! Then, tell us which of these clever jokes you liked the most and don’t forget to share this article with your friends. Christmas time is giving time, after all.

#1

What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.

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Orange is aging
Community Member
7 months ago

Snow people can identify as whatever they want

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#2

"Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard."

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Nathan Adams
Community Member
8 months ago

To true🤣

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#3

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

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Paul C.
Community Member
7 months ago

Have you ever heard of Randolph, the Brown Nosed Reindeer? He runs just behind Rudolph. He just can't stop as quick!

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#4

"I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So I bought her nothing."

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Antz Online
Community Member
7 months ago

I’m not gonna even think of trying that one

#5

"I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats the children who get up early on Christmas morning. That way, I get to sleep in."

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Rui
Community Member
7 months ago

Thats so evil im gonna try that

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#6

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.

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Daniel Atkins
Community Member
7 months ago

oh oh oh.

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#7

Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you love Jesus. Keep on texting while you drive if you want to meet him."

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Rui
Community Member
7 months ago

These are too punny

#8

What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.

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Orange is aging
Community Member
7 months ago

You mean when he takes a break for basically the entire year to quietly watch his elves painstakingly make hundreds upon hundreds of toys BY HAND and then take literally all of their hard-earned credit by giving the toys to bratty children across the entire world, rinse and repeat?

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#9

If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one?
At a retail store.

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Eagle Girl
Community Member
7 months ago

Where do fishing stories come from? A Re-Tale store

#10

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.

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#11

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

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Antz Online
Community Member
7 months ago

Hahaha

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#12

Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.

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James Reed
Community Member
7 months ago (edited)

What are polar bears called who are standing on a thin sheet of ice? Ice breakers. Why was the polar bear feeling sad? He was home alone and ice-olated.

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#13

How does the snow globe feel this year?
A little shaken.

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Eric G
Community Member
7 months ago

Just the way I like it. -Bond, James Bond

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#14

Why was the snowman embarrassed when he was spotted rummaging through a bag of carrots?
He was caught picking his nose.

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Rui
Community Member
7 months ago

Oh god

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#15

Who tells the best Christmas jokes?
Reindeer. They sleigh every time.

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#16

What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.

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D K
Community Member
7 months ago

Bahahaha

#17

How is the alphabet different on Christmas than any other day?
On Christmas, it has Noel.

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D Gangwere
Community Member
7 months ago

(sigh)

#18

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present’s beneath them.

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Rui
Community Member
7 months ago

Boof

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#19

Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners?
RUDE-olph, of course.

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Kija Amira
Community Member
7 months ago

Which is why he's the fav?

#20

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?
Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

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#21

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.

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#22

Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.

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Hilo
Community Member
7 months ago

This sounds very bad…

#23

"My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first time. Getting impatient while waiting for the Mass to start, he turned to her and asked, "What time does Jesus get here?"

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Muhammad Zulkhairi Mohd Nasir
Community Member
7 months ago

Tell that kid to be more patient... It won't be long before his Second Coming!

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#24

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.

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Clare Is great
Community Member
7 months ago

My advent calendars have only 24 days

#25

What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.

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James Reed
Community Member
7 months ago

they like frosted flakes

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#26

What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A cowculator.

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Nathan Adams
Community Member
8 months ago

I actually thought of this idea "cowculator" So i coded my own "cowculator" That actully works here's the link: https://studio.code.org/projects/applab/4zfMs3-M2uq4rCdUX5W2ARLXepSyOifYPSgM9eHZTy4

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#27

Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."

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Iguanas Place
Community Member
7 months ago

Evil,just evil

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#28

What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
7 months ago

I found one with no legs...still no eye deer 🤷‍♀️

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#29

Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Because they're Santa's star bucks.

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Donkey boi
Community Member
7 months ago

But they're female...

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#30

What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Welfy.

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