We could probably all benefit from looking at life with a little bit more childlike wonder. Kids are curious about everything, and they’re constantly using their little brains to make sense of the world around them. So inevitably, from time to time, their reasoning leads to some hilarious outcomes.
Redditors have recently been sharing some of their favorite examples of “kid logic,” so we’ve gathered the best ones below. From believing sugar can make the ocean less salty to assuming your pillow isn’t working if you can’t fall asleep, enjoy reading through these adorable and hilarious thought processes, pandas. And be sure to upvote the “kid logic” that you think makes perfect sense!
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I was fly fishing a popular canoeing river when two middle school aged kids came paddling down ina rented canoe. They got turned 180 degrees in an eddy and instead of trying to turn their whole canoe back around they just turned around in their seats and started paddling downstream again. Most adults would try paddling back around but this was by far the more efficient way to handle it
My sister has two children, ages 3 and 1. I had my first child in September so my nephews now have a cousin.
The three year old insists that it is only his cousin, since he is the oldest and his younger brother will have to wait for the next one before he gets a cousin of his own.
When I was a little girl, I had a Barbie and a Ken doll. I wanted more Barbie and Ken dolls. I put them in a shoebox together, naked, and pushed it under the bed so they could make more dolls. I had no idea how close I was to knowing how babies were made.
Leaving the daycare center, a kid called back, "BYE-BYE! Be safe, watch out for polar bears!"
We are not in polar bear territory, but polar bears live in the snow, so since it snowed earlier in the day, it was only logical that we were at elevated polar bear risk.
When I (white) was a kid, my best friend (black) was floored to learn white peoples’ poop was brown. He’d just assumed ours was white.
When I was really little our preschool class grew beans in a window and my little brain decided that all food must be grown from seeds. Long story short my mom found about 15 chicken nuggets in her flower bed when she was planting tulips.
My daughter was having trouble falling asleep and came to me crying that her pillow didn’t work
I remember a story of an astronaut going to give a talk in a school and one kid asked him "how do I become an astronaut?" and the astronaut replied "you have to go to school for a very long time and then train your body and mind and then pass a test. its very hard" and then the kid replied "thats like only 4 things!". Changed my outlook on life haha
Maybe not best but recent: My coworker’s kid lost a tooth yesterday, and the kid said he was going to wait until Sunday to put his tooth under the pillow so the Tooth Fairy can meet Santa lol
My husband was working at a child care center and his car was in the shop so he needed a ride. When I arrived to pick him up, one of the children who was also getting picked up asked if I was his mom. Because that's who picks up people from day care, moms and dads. Makes perfect sense using kid logic.
My grandparents' old trailer had ants. I wanted to help and knew they liked sweet things, so I added a bunch of sugar to some juice and made a trail from the house to an ant hill to lead them out. It did not have the desired effect.
When I was 15, I used to babysit this lovely kid called Jack.
He would very proudly tell people "I'm three!" And hold up three fingers. One day, I asked him how old did he think I was? He gave this very careful consideration.
"26." He said firmly.
"Why do you think I'm 26?" I replied, mildly offended.
"Mummy looks after me and she's 26. You look after me too."
Fair enough!
A toddler I was watching stood next to a tree. He then licked the bark of the tree the way a dog would lick an ice cream cone: full blown, no inhibition.
Shocked, I asked him why licked the tree, and he said, "I didn't know what it tasted like." He caught me so off guard, so all I could say was, "you know what, that's fair. "
I asked him if he liked it. He said, no, no he did not.
I had just birthed my daughter via C-section. My toddler son saw my incision, and concluded that his baby sister had busted through my stomach like the Kool-Aid man.
I desperately wanted a kitten when I was younger. Every time we went to the grocery store, I'd try and sneak cat food into the shopping cart, thinking that if we got home and unpacked it, we'd *have* to go out and get a cat.
My kid as a toddler invented the word “nexterday” because she knew “yesterday” and “next” but not “tomorrow”.
Aight so one time my niece was over with my brother and his wife. My niece said “let’s be dragons” so I’m like ok cool this is f*****g awesome.
Here I am in my 50s and get to be a dragon. So I put up my big dragon wings and dragon face and she stopped dead in her tracks and said “uncle guru, you don’t have to pretend to be a dragon you can just BE one. See? I’m a dragon and so are you. Let’s go see dad.”
So we’re just standing there like two humans and she says “we’re dragons” with a shrug of her shoulders like I know it’s obvious but just in case..
So yeah, blew my mind lol
Does this mean I really did grow up to be a dragon and just never noticed?
When I was about 6 or so, my very religious grandmother offered to buy me something at the church yard sale. There was a Grateful Dead shirt. I wasn't familiar with their music back then, I just liked the color and design. She told me it wasn't proper attire for a Christian. I responded with "Christians go to heaven when they die, right?" She said yes, to which I proclaimed they would then be grateful to be in heaven, and grateful they were dead. The logic didn't work, and I didn't get the shirt.
My mom still brings it up and laughs occasionally. As an adult I love the grateful Dead and for my 40th birthday my mom got me a grateful Dead vinyl box set.
i dont know if this counts, but this kid asked something i never heard anyone ask before: how come Cinderella shoe doesn't change after midnight?
My kid asked to go to the “fish museum.” She didn’t know the word for aquarium, but I’d say she got the concept across pretty well. Now we don’t refer to it as anything else.
My son once told me he had a brew after he bumped his arm. I said I think you mean bruise. He said that it was a brew because he only had one.
When I was a kid we experienced an earthquake. I ran to my mom screaming “the dinosaurs are coming!” I was really into The Land Before Time and whenever the Brontosaurus walked the ground shook so it made sense.
Adorable. I loved those movies growing up. Now I show them to my kids.
So… I have a naturally-low core temp, which makes my skin feel like an ice cube.
Youngest Cousin (born 2019) had had a high temp back in 2019, my aunt just handed her to me to have me cool her down by holding her — I became the Baby-Cooling Station. When she decided she needed to cool down at a cook-out in 2021, she shouted, “I GE I PAK!”, toddled-over to where I was napping, grabbed my hand, and just put it to her forehead before shouting, “I GAH I PAK!” when my aunt asked her what she was even doing.
EDIT:
I just felt like typing-out how she said those two things, since it was super-cute. But, they mean, “I GO GET ICE PACK!” and, “I GOT ICE PACK!”, respectively.
I was a student teacher, and bumped into one of my seven-year-old students in the morning. He was walking and told me "I always step over the cracks [in the sidewalk]."
I asked "How come?" and expected him to say something about "So I don't break my mother's back." (That's an old rhyme).
Instead, he said he was "practicing" ... "in case there's an earthquake!"
My husband and I used to have two cats. One cat’s name was just Little Cat.
My 3 year old niece called our other cat “Big Cat” because if there’s a little cat, there has to be a big cat.
And our other cat was pretty big so I couldn’t even correct her.
My boyfriend still has 2 stuffed animals from childhood. They’re both stuffed dogs. We call them “brown dog” and “big dog.” Heavily considering naming the two dogs we’re considering adopting the same thing. (Mildly kidding)
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We had Little Cat and Big Cat too. Big Cat arrived first, and originally had a name, but when we got a second cat, we were too slow to pick a name, and so he got called "Little Cat" and it stuck, and thus Maui became "Big Cat".
When I was 5 we had a couple kitties. Mine was gray and white and named fluffy. Because all cats are fluffy when you're 5. My sister named hers ginger. Which was strange because he wasn't red.
I used to wonder why the snow was on top of the mountains if they were closer to the sun
My niece said that Santa was fat because he was pregnant, and that he was going to give birth to gingerbread men.
No, he gave birth to an elf. The rest of them are clones, but don't tell Santa I know.
High school friend shared that when she was little she thought babies came from Target because she always saw them in the carts when they went shopping at Target.
Keep in mind we grew up in the 1970s in Minnesota and Target was were we shopped. There was no Walmart here.
I once fed our VHS player a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because my parents were tired of it "eating" the tapes.
A friend's kid cut a big chunk out of his hair, then realized he'd get in trouble, so he carefully laid the hair on his head. It promptly fell off.
My grandma caught my dad baptizing kittens. He found a hole with standing water and dipped their heads gently back into it, saying, “In the name of the father, the son, and in the hole he goes.”
I was around five and my mom explained to me where babies came from, that girls had eggs in their tummies. Went to the doctor shortly after and I’m laying on my back as she pushes on my belly, as doctors do. Cue me moaning and telling her she’s cracking my eggs.
My 5 yo grandson insists the instructions you receive with a Lego set are “the constructions”, and really I’m having difficulty arguing against it.
Not me but a friend.
Her dad was an alcoholic, and would drink as long as he could find more alcohol. So, logically, the best way to get him to stop drinking was to empty the bottles. And the best way to do that? Drink them all with the determination of a 7 year old who wants a sober parent.
Two of the neighbor kids locked themselves out of their house while their mom went to the store. My kids invited them in, sat them at the kitchen table, gave them a drink and a snack and kept them company until their mom got back.
After the kids went home, I told my kids that they had been very hospitable.
My seven year old was very indignant. "We were NOT! We were very nice to them. We didn't spit on anybody!"
I used to work as an english teacher at a kindergarden and one of my students told me: “your nails got longer you should tell your mom to cut them.”
My mom lives 3500 km away from me in a different country, it was heartbreaking for her to find out about that.
When I was a kid, my brothers and I came up with "Christmas Adam" as the day before Christmas Eve, because Adam came before Eve.
I once bought bubblegum flavored toothpaste for my 4 year old granddaughter. We got home from the store in the early afternoon and she really wanted to brush her teeth because, bubblegum right? I told her she could brush her teeth before bedtime. She thought about it for a few seconds and hit me with, “It’s already before bedtime”. She got to brush her teeth right then and there.
I can never find bubble gum flavoured toothpaste in the supermarket anymore. For some reason we only ever used it when we were on holiday as kids. I hate the taste of mint, so would be nice to have an alternative. There is a cinnamon one, but it's organic and I think more 'natural' so is three times the price.
When I was like three or four years old and my family went to the beach, I stole the little sugar packets from the hotel's breakfast room and emptied them in the ocean, because I didn't like that it was so salty.
Edit: typo.
I once asked my mom what the civil war was like, because it was before i was born, and she was around before I was born. Logic.
1. Two of my Kindergarten students switched coats and thought that their parents would take the wrong kid home
2. I was talking about the gears on my mountain bike, and my daughter said “My bike is a two-speed: stop and go”
Whenever we went on holiday, and my daughter started seeing Seagulls, she'd say "look, holiday birds!"
When my daughter was 5, she asked me how to spell "zizz." I told her z-i-z-z. She knew that was wrong so she said, "Spell Julie is 5, but don't spell Julie and don't spell 5." She wanted to know how to spell "is."
When my grandson would tell me something that happened in the recent past he would say it happened "yesterday long time ago."
I was very stressed about my mom washing our dog with our shampoo because it said "Not tested on animals."
Technically, if it says not tested on animals, then it was tested on plants, microbes, or fungi.
My son (around10 at the time) and I were watching "The Lou Gehrig Story" and towards the end of the movie he asked me what sickness did he have and I said Lou Gehrig's Disease. . . after a few seconds my kid said something along the lines of "Well they should have known all along since his name was Lou Gehrig."
We use “Dadu” for grandfather in my language. My dads brother visited from India, he didn’t know what to call him, so he started calling him “more Dadu”
My granddaughter said there are microbes on Mars, and she knows this because her teacher said microbes are EVERYWHERE.
I thought cotton came from clouds, and the colorful cotton you would catch at sunset
In late 2020, my nephew told us he hated the farmers and they should go to jail. Incredibly confused, we asked why. He said he wished they would stop killing people because he wanted to go back to school.
After some back and forth, we realized when we’d been saying ‘quarantine’, he didn’t understand the word and decided we must mean ‘corn fields’. 5 year old logic then reasoned that the corn farmers were the cause of lock downs and all the people getting sick.
My family still jokes about ‘those damn corn farmers’ anytime something throws a wrench in our plans.
I was in a playpark with my kid when she looked way across the square and spotted a figure halfway up a staircase, stopped in mid step, probably an older person resting or something. My daughter announced "That person's run out of batteries." Now that I'm a good deal older myself I appreciate that description more every time I climb a flight of stairs.
When my oldest was 2, he was obsessed with peanut butter M&M's. One day he was eating some and proudly declared that he knew where peanut butter came from. To get peanut butter, you simply crack open peanut butter M&Ms like an egg, and scoop it out.
I was one of many kids who thought musicians played live in the radio station when you heard their songs on the radio
I thought that when they made a movie where the characters age, they just waited for the actors to get older.
My grandson helped me bake a birthday cake for his grandpa. He and I mixed it, baked it, let it cool, HEAVY SIGH!
We frosted it and decorated it, sprinkles anyone?
He wanted to have cake right away. I explained we had to sing Grandpa happy birthday. I'm thinking after birthday dinner.
My husband had just got home from work and was in the shower. Grandson knocks on the bathroom door and proceeds to sing the birthday song as loud as he could.
He then runs to the kitchen to announce grandpa got his birthday song! Let's eat cake!
He was 3.5 years old!
My 3-year-old couldn't think of the words "butter knife” and instead called it a “butter cutter”. That’s what we call it now.
When I was 7, I figured out Santa was a myth because I noticed my stocking was full on Christmas Eve - *before* he was scheduled to arrive. AHA!
My brother who is two years older made me believe in Santa a little longer. I expressed doubt to him, he told me he had actually seen Santa eating the cookies we left out. That was so sweet for a 9 yr old to do for his sister!
About 30 years ago I was a coach on a swim team. One of the kids I coached was named Bryan, age 4. Bryan was super close with a 17 year old girl Tamica. She was on the team and was good friends of the family. Well one day Bryan saw Tamica hop in her car and drive home after practice. He ran to his mom and asked “Mommy, is Tamica married?” She said “No Bryon why would you think that?” He replied “Cause she drives a car”. We all had a good laugh because in his experience only married people (his parents most likely) drove cars.
I'm stuck on the ages of the people in this story. So a 4 year old and 17 year old are friends? and on the same swim team?
Towels can’t get wet because they dry things.
You have to stay away from trees in lightning storms because wood conducts electricity.
You say thank you when someone has done something for you, so if you ask someone to do something and quickly say “thank you” they have to do it because they already got the thank you.
cutting a pizza into 8 slices instead of 6 means more pizza
I was in college when my son was little but he always referred to it as my job. I told him I was going to school, he even had to come with me a couple of times, but he wasn't having it. His logic was that school is for kids, you can't be mom and a kid, so it must not be school.
One day, when my daughter was around five, I was sitting in the living room reading when I saw her out of the corner of my eye peering around the corner from the hallway at me. Then she runs full tilt from the hallway, through the living room, into the kitchen. She comes out of the kitchen and asks me, "Daddy, could you see me?" She thought if she ran fast enough she'd be invisible.
When I was a kid I once asked my Mum how many days there were in a year and when she said 365 I asked if that was how many people there were on the planet because I assumed everyone had their own individual birthday… I guess I forgot twins existed.
I had broken up with my boyfriend but had gotten back together and my nephew was asking about my relationship status when he was about 4. "So are you... broken down?" Totally logical as down is the opposite of up!
My younger sister once said to my mother, "Mum, how old were you when Jesus was a child?"
"I don't want to live on Earth, because Earth is in space, and space is dark, and I'm afraid of the dark."
When I was little I thought that since AM was morning and PM was afternoon, then ZM must be night!
Mine is my logic because I was a child genius.
When I was a wee little one I wasn't able to say my brother's whole name nor could I say "brother" so I always called my older brother "Broth".
When I was 5 or 6 I was in our garage with my friend and we found a can of orange spray paint. Obviously, this means it's time to go spray paint some curse words! Our garage went to an alley, next to the door on the pavement I sprayed out "a*s". Out on the pavement on the side of the garage I sprayed out "damn." I was killing it.
But wait! I think, my parents are for *sure* going to know this was me right? 💡❗️ I come up with the *perfect. plan.*
I go *inside* the garage, right next to where the passenger would get out of my mom's car when it was parked, and sprayed "Broth did it"
🤦🏻♂️ my mother still tells this story more than 25 years later.
Like the old joke about the little brother and sister who had just learned some new words, and when the mother asked the little boy what he wanted for breakfast he said "I'll have some of those damn Cheerios." Of course he got into trouble for saying that. The mother next turned to the little girl and asked her what she wanted. "You can bet your a*s I don't want Cheerios!"
closing their eyes makes them invisible
i thought jesus was buried in the cemetery in our city, didnt know too much bible lore back then.
The sink in my classroom was broken so we had some people come in to fix it. One of my kids referred to them as "lookers". When I asked why, he said "because they look their faces into the sink".
During quarantine, my nephew explained to me all the things one must do to keep the Crona Pirates from finding you: 1. Wear a mask so they don't see you so good. 2. Wash your hands so they can't smell that you ate peanut butter (crona pirates LOVE peanut butter and can smell it from a long ways away, so WASH YOUR HANDS), 3. Stay around your house. Crona Pirates would have to knock on your door if you are inside or playing in the yard, and then we just don't let them in, and they don't get us.
When my mom was 5 or 6, she saw identical twins for the first time. Family lore has it that she stopped dead in her tracks and yelled "They're wearing the same face!" Grammy had to explain some things to her, which led to The Question (regarding babies and where they come from). This was in the 50s and I really wish I could have heard Grammy's response to that one!
One of the best ones I've heard of was a father telling his son he had his shoes on the wrong feet. The little boy looked puzzled, and finally said "But these are the only feet I have!"
ATTENTION ANYONE FROM BORED PANDA WHO MIGHT BE READING THIS: Am I the only one who gets a notification that someone has replied to one of my posts, or liked one of my posts, and I go to check it out, and "Wait! The list has been shortened to just show the most popular!", so the link doesn't work until I click on the note that says that? It's very frustrating. Please either stop making them shorter, or make the link work the first time.
I am currently at 711 notifications and it's too much work to pick through them to see which one is a Woohoo!, which one is a Congrats!, and which one is an actual reply to a comment I've made.
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When I was little I remember my mother giving a family with a sign that said will work for food some money on our way home from the store. I was certain she gave them the money so they could come over and clean my room. I waited and waited, and didnt want to ask my mom and seem to eager that I was getting out of cleaning my own room. Finally a couple days later I asked my mother when the family she gave the money to was coming to clean my room. I asked while she was sitting around the table with my aunts. You would of thought they had been at a comedy club, they laughed so hard at me before being reminded my room still had to be cleaned.
My daughter once forgot the word for pee and told her preschool teacher she got some of her "body water" on her pants. We had a brief, very confusing conversation at pick up because the teacher thought maybe that was what we called it at home and just casually used it when telling me about the accident. We both got a good laugh at least!
My brother (37M) when he was about 3 years old was at a nursery Christmas party. Santa was there seeing the kids and asking them what they wanted for Christmas. It came to my brother's turn, sat on Santa's lap and Santa asked him what he would like for Christmas. To this day none of our family know why he asked for what he asked for and today he is happily in a straight relationship with his fiancée and 2 kids with the same woman. He asked for boobies and a handbag!!!! 3 years old!!!!!
My sisters coined the word 'plumptious' said 'plump-sh-ous' meaning fat, but in the most delightful, complementary, flattering way. Intended entirely as an observation, or a complement, not an insult. An example would be 'i saw a very plumptious pigeon this morning'
During quarantine, my nephew explained to me all the things one must do to keep the Crona Pirates from finding you: 1. Wear a mask so they don't see you so good. 2. Wash your hands so they can't smell that you ate peanut butter (crona pirates LOVE peanut butter and can smell it from a long ways away, so WASH YOUR HANDS), 3. Stay around your house. Crona Pirates would have to knock on your door if you are inside or playing in the yard, and then we just don't let them in, and they don't get us.
When my mom was 5 or 6, she saw identical twins for the first time. Family lore has it that she stopped dead in her tracks and yelled "They're wearing the same face!" Grammy had to explain some things to her, which led to The Question (regarding babies and where they come from). This was in the 50s and I really wish I could have heard Grammy's response to that one!
One of the best ones I've heard of was a father telling his son he had his shoes on the wrong feet. The little boy looked puzzled, and finally said "But these are the only feet I have!"
ATTENTION ANYONE FROM BORED PANDA WHO MIGHT BE READING THIS: Am I the only one who gets a notification that someone has replied to one of my posts, or liked one of my posts, and I go to check it out, and "Wait! The list has been shortened to just show the most popular!", so the link doesn't work until I click on the note that says that? It's very frustrating. Please either stop making them shorter, or make the link work the first time.
I am currently at 711 notifications and it's too much work to pick through them to see which one is a Woohoo!, which one is a Congrats!, and which one is an actual reply to a comment I've made.
Load More Replies... When I was little I remember my mother giving a family with a sign that said will work for food some money on our way home from the store. I was certain she gave them the money so they could come over and clean my room. I waited and waited, and didnt want to ask my mom and seem to eager that I was getting out of cleaning my own room. Finally a couple days later I asked my mother when the family she gave the money to was coming to clean my room. I asked while she was sitting around the table with my aunts. You would of thought they had been at a comedy club, they laughed so hard at me before being reminded my room still had to be cleaned.
My daughter once forgot the word for pee and told her preschool teacher she got some of her "body water" on her pants. We had a brief, very confusing conversation at pick up because the teacher thought maybe that was what we called it at home and just casually used it when telling me about the accident. We both got a good laugh at least!
My brother (37M) when he was about 3 years old was at a nursery Christmas party. Santa was there seeing the kids and asking them what they wanted for Christmas. It came to my brother's turn, sat on Santa's lap and Santa asked him what he would like for Christmas. To this day none of our family know why he asked for what he asked for and today he is happily in a straight relationship with his fiancée and 2 kids with the same woman. He asked for boobies and a handbag!!!! 3 years old!!!!!
My sisters coined the word 'plumptious' said 'plump-sh-ous' meaning fat, but in the most delightful, complementary, flattering way. Intended entirely as an observation, or a complement, not an insult. An example would be 'i saw a very plumptious pigeon this morning'
