When you see a fortune cookie, it's not the cookie you're craving; it's the fortune. I mean, there are plenty of baked desserts, but how many of them can reveal your future? Or the lack of it? On the other hand, is there a better fortune-teller, than a tasty one? Some of these fortune cookie messages, however, are so surprising, they catch people completely off-guard. Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the funniest phrases ever found in fortune cookies to prove that Confucius isn't behind all of them. And if you do believe in chiromancy, best leave it to professionals and not the fortune cookie sayings.

Though commonly thought to originate in China, the cookies come from the Japanese tsujura senbei treat. Allegedly, the first fortune cookie was eaten in the US around the 1890s. Chinese had tried to import the American-popularized goodie later on, but it turned out, that the public thought it to be 'too American.'

From rude insults to questionable dares, the people who discovered these funny fortune cookies definitely had a hard time swallowing them. Scroll down to read the hilarious list!

#1 He Sat And Watched Me Eat Chinese Take-Out For Half An Hour. Then This Happened

He Sat And Watched Me Eat Chinese Take-Out For Half An Hour. Then This Happened

Lincie Report

Bunnies4Zwin 10 months ago

This is no coincidence. Give the fluffy pooch food

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#2 Definitely The Scariest Fortune Cookie I've Ever Gotten

Definitely The Scariest Fortune Cookie I've Ever Gotten

endrex Report

#3 Didn't Expect My Fortune Cookie To Be So Insightful

Didn't Expect My Fortune Cookie To Be So Insightful

spcbackacker Report

Daria Zotova 10 months ago

How accurate *sigh*

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#4 Best Fortune I Have Ever Got In A Fortune Cookie

Best Fortune I Have Ever Got In A Fortune Cookie

Lerxtt Report

Muhammad Cisco Zulfikar 10 months ago

Free from the shell

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#5 Fortune Cookie

Fortune Cookie

jedduff Report

SnowyLynx 10 months ago

Wow

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#6 My Wife And I Received Matching Fortunes At Dinner This Evening

My Wife And I Received Matching Fortunes At Dinner This Evening

Mal_Fet Report

Shruti Naik 10 months ago

this is a lovely coincidence!

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#7 My Ironic Fortune Cookie

My Ironic Fortune Cookie

willdonnell Report

Neeraj Jha 10 months ago

The humor with this fortune cookie is too damn high! xD

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#8 My Coworker Just Came Back From Sick Leave; He Had A Heart Attack. To Celebrate We Went For Chinese. These Were In His Fortune Cookie

My Coworker Just Came Back From Sick Leave; He Had A Heart Attack. To Celebrate We Went For Chinese. These Were In His Fortune Cookie

charns Report

UniversalMel 10 months ago

Nope nope nope NOPE

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#9 Take That Big Step

Take That Big Step

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Terror from Beyond Space 10 months ago

Go ahead and get the complete stormtrooper costume.

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#10 My Wife's And My Fortune Cookies. Hers Is On Top

My Wife's And My Fortune Cookies. Hers Is On Top

Thrupp08 Report

John L 10 months ago

And since none of the 'lucky numbers' even match, it may be time for him to hire a private investigator. :D

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