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Be honest, who had "start eating healthy" set as one of their New Year's Resolutions for 2023? Certainly not us, because we've been feeding on bamboo since 2009. Nevertheless, what society deems "a diet" today has gained a negative connotation, leading to people restricting their meal intake. Hence, instead of saying, "I'm going on a diet," a much healthier approach is saying, "I'll take better care of nurturing my body." Still, the diet approach isn't going away anytime soon. And luckily, more people are gaining a more upbeat approach to dieting and taking their ventures online, sharing relatable content in the forms of funny jokes about dieting.

While social media is full of funny weight loss jokes as well as funny diet memes, it's Twitter that takes the crown for the funniest tweets about dieting. The best bit about these funny tweets on Twitter is that we all can relate to them because we've likely been the victims of diet culture at some point in our lives. In fact, seeing someone share the same experience as you, even in the form of a funny tweet, not only assists in our search for similarity but also reminds us that it's okay to fail and start all over again. And that we all eat from the same plate.

For your prescribed dose of funny tweets this week, below, we've compiled a list of funny diet tweets and diet jokes people shared on Twitter. Did any funny tweets below make you laugh so hard that you almost choked (hopefully not) on the artichoke you were eating? Make sure to give them an upvote! Also, know any more funny diet jokes to entertain the public? Share them in the comments!

#1

Funny-Diet-Tweets

ManilaConyos Report

Headless Roach
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that's how you lose two weeks and a sense of humour at best 🙃

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    #2

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    PinkCamoTO Report

    Crescent 3
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why Fudge-covered Oreos are so dangerous.

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    #9

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    curlycomedy Report

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wrap you plant bones in aluminum foil after it's clean the stalks stay crispier.

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    #10

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    JimGaffigan Report

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At Carl's Jr, you can get your burger as a lettuce wrap. Green leafy lettuce here. Not sure if it's widely available.

    🧀Ash🧀
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jim Gaffigan the legend himself

    TeenieMeanie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone knows salads are just full of empty vitamins.

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    #14

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    jaybn1 Report

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cheese flavored crackers, in US, actual biscuits. Not cookies.

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    #19

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    NotMark___ Report

    the laughing koala
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree on all but one point taco salads are the best way to eat a taco

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    #21

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    TheMomAtLaw Report

    Karen Zeno Baker
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Taa dahh! Thank you....I'll be here all week. Try the veal! 🤣🤣

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    #24

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    dontlosethekids Report

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried this once too... It was an emotional rollercoaster. I finally had some chips and salsa at a party, and it was the happiest I think I'd been as an adult for a while 😂

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    #25

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    4anno Report

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And my "salad" has 2 lbs. of chicken, cheese, bacon and ranch on it, just the way I like 🥗

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    #26

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    KalvinMacleod Report

    OnAFreakingRollercoaster
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes!!! My kind of island 🏝️🤩🍰🍮🍭🍬🍫🍪🍨🥧🍡🍦🍧🎂🤤

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    #27

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    KateWhineHall Report

    Sensitive_panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, walking for physical health and M&M's for mental health!

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    #31

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    Marriedgrayson_ Report

    Laura Lett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I resemble that remark...and I don't like it!!!

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    #33

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    JennyJohnsonHi5 Report

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate having to tell people I have Celiac, it's a nuisance. My boyfriend just reminds everyone "don't forget, we have a glutard on board" 😂😭

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    #35

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    JessObsess Report

    Kat
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely!,

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    #39

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    TheCatWhisprer Report

    ShockSandSniper_
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me: to give up as soon as possible. u know wat? bye.

    #40

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    LurkAtHomeMom Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tried a diet last year that involved a lot of spinach but with zero fat. Yuck

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    #41

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    Eenfidel Report

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one ever had the nerve to say anything about his size to his face.

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    #42

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    Book_Krazy Report

    theoneandonlynoira
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone has two stomachs: One for dessert and a smaller one for the actual meal.

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    #45

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    thatcarlygirl Report

    TheElementalGod️️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fools... have you never heard of chocolate lava cake? hava that for divver!

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    #48

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    markedly Report

    Phyllis Turbin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And my husband's cheeseburger and fries are $13.50

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    #49

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    harbhajan_singh Report

    Anikulapo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t know how it works in your house but in my house you do not throw samosas in the bin unless you want to find somewhere else to live. You burn’em, you eat’em.

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    #50

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    RogueRomantic Report

    Sad Quokka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm on a diet, then sorry, but you have to suffer too

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    #56

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    weddingbells95 Report

    3 Trash Pandas in a Trenchcoat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now with Wendy's free mini frosty deal... (If you haven't heard of it https://www.wendys.com/csr-what-we-value/people/community/foster-care-adoption/frosty-key-tags)

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    #57

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    svershbow Report

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SO true!! This is why it's important to keep the exercising to a minimum 🤓

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    #59

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    tchrquotes Report

    BOO
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually tho thats a conversation that me and my siblings have

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    #62

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Rupp
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Calorie is a unit of measurement that tells you how good food tastes.

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    #65

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    MichaelTrying Report

    Old Roadie
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Switch to Bloody Mary: tomato juice, garlic, herbs, olives, pickled veggies, Worcestershire, hot sauces, lemon and lime juices, and plant bones! Oh, and vodka.

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    #69

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    OMG_itsmiranda Report

    Darkiriscat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so true. Both gaining and losing weight. Gaining when underweighted is not fun. Chocolate does not help. I cried about that

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    #70

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    ShalaneFlanagan Report

    Darkiriscat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once bought four tompouces and ate them all. My excuse:need to gain weight. Real reason: because why not?

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    #73

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    emiliakathleen Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, my stomach isn't big enough for enough salad to keep me full for more then an hour. When I eat with my vegetarian friend I can't believe how much of this green stuff she can shovel into her skinny tummy - and she can't believe how little fits in mine

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    #81

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    LurkAtHomeMom Report

    Dina Lubman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Congrats! You lasted 17 minutes longer than I would have!

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    #87

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    TonyFan1420 Report

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need to lose weight, but how on earth do you just NOT eat carbs and be happy?!

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    #88

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    LurkAtHomeMom Report

    Old Roadie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...if you mean balancing stack of cookies next to cup of milk, I got this.

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    #89

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    dyllidylli Report

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While this is a vast over exaggeration, I do have that one coworker who simply MUST tell everyone about her keto diet and every recipe she tries. I mean, good for her, but I really don't need a 15 minute update on those keto tortillas every time she brings them ...

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    #90

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    kateesiegel Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're taking a long time to eat your cookies

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    #92

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    LoveNLunchmeat Report

    Danish Susanne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't it depend on the size of the snack? I know someone who would call a 2 l box of strawberry icecream a small snack.

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    #93

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    4anno Report

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    #99

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    Ideal_Victoria Report

    Rupp
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me about the bit on rice cakes, they're great with chocolate frosting.

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    #104

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    ItsFatAmyBitch Report

    V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I switched to coconut ice cream - it's made from coconut, so it's really just a frozen fruit salad

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    #107

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    Bizarro_Mark Report

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually love a good quinoa salad that's bursting with flavor and has a handful of ingredients! My favorite is the one with tomatoes, cucumber, feta, avocado and dressing!

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    #109

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    chrissyteigen Report

    Jenna Kay
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss Jack in the Box. There are none where I live and they really do have amazing tacos!!

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    #110

    Funny-Diet-Tweets

    Lhlodder Report

    SH Holmes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell him that he needs to finish that weird ice cream he bought first because nobody likes it but him.

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