30 Of The Funniest Dad Jokes From This Account Dedicated Entirely To Them (New Pics)

Makayla Rhodes 5 years ago

I gave it an upvote, are you happy 😊

4points

Sabrina Fisher 5 years ago

Sometimes thats how I actually start a conversation with my husband... keep the spark alive lol

5points

shado 5 years ago

my go-to reply is always: "sorry ... I tuned you out the moment you started taking"

3points

Citizen Josie 5 years ago

You have to start the conversation just like that. You never know when his hearing aid just ran out of battery and you are about to give the speech of your life. Epic!

1point

lara 5 years ago

My wife said I don't listen to her, or something.

1point

Sara Lopez 5 years ago

my husband thought this was hilarious

0points

Bobby Stahr 5 years ago

truth

0points

Panda with Heart 5 years ago

True story

0points

Luuta 5 years ago

This would go right over the top of the heads of most people 😂😂

0points

Grumble O'Pug 5 years ago

Bwaaaaaahahahaha!!!

0points

#2

Dad jokes account shares a witty quip about canaries and the Virgin Islands in this humorous tweet.

Final score:

362points

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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

This really needs more upvotes

39points

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

you got me there...

4points

Moo Moo Futch 5 years ago

I laughed way more at this that I probably should have

1point

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

They're still the Virgin Islands, and just as far from the Isle of Man as ever...

0points

semelina pitrone 5 years ago

thank you for your wisdom, oh great dad.

0points

Linda HS 5 years ago

🤣

0points

Luuta 5 years ago

Lmao!!

0points

Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago

I didn't know that the Virgin Islands were still virginal.

0points

Isaac Harvey 5 years ago

Speaking of which, I have been to the British Virgin Islands twice as of this writing.

0points

Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago

Do they still call themselves Cruzans? I made the mistake of calling them Virgins.

1point

Sara Lopez 5 years ago

lol

-1point

#3

Tweet from Dad Jokes account with a funny joke about a misleading Tinder bio involving a bus driver.

Final score:

296points

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DforDorothy 5 years ago

Good way to filter the golddigers ;)

57points

lara 5 years ago

Well, he didn't lie, so what's the problem?

5points

Kryogen 5 years ago

That what we call a genius !

5points

Nicole Tomme 5 years ago

This needs a troll face at the end.

5points

Catlady6000 5 years ago

Making the most of your circumstances. Literally

3points

Lavender Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ 5 years ago

I mean, he's not wrong

0points

Lauren Brandon 5 years ago

🤣🤣🤣

0points

Panda with Heart 5 years ago

Lol

0points

Toea Muresan Iulia 5 years ago

sweet!

0points

Dad jokes are now kind of a humor genre with a life of its own. They’re usually blunt, painfully (un)funny, and often cringe-inducing. So it’s totally fine if you don’t get one. I don’t get one either.

Surprisingly, they’re not a new thing, although their absurdity level definitely speaks to the 21st-century millennial generation. However, the term “dad joke” first emerged in 1987 when Jim Kalbaugh, a columnist with the Gettysburg Times, wrote: “As we approach Father’s Day, I would like to propose that ‘Dad’ Jokes not be banned. They should be revered, preserved.”

#4

Dad joke from @Dadsaysjokes about COVID-19 starting in Las Vegas, referencing the saying about Vegas.

Final score:

281points

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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

That's good wish, must say!

32points

David Constante 5 years ago

Well, actually it's because is not updated yet......let's wait for the Covid-20

6points

Colin L 5 years ago

Don't tell him that what happens in Vegas follows you *forever*

4points

martin Phiri 5 years ago

Ha ha ha

2points

shado 5 years ago

apparently not ... just ask Prince Harry!

0points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 5 years ago

Amen!

0points

CatWoman312 5 years ago

Touché

0points

Pepper Pots 5 years ago

LMAO

0points

Claire Storace 5 years ago

I wish it had too, mandatory quarantine isn't fun 😔

0points

#5

Dad jokes account shares a funny joke comparing Steve Jobs and Donald Trump, playing on apples to oranges.

Final score:

278points

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Tracy 5 years ago

A toaster would be a better president than Trump.

93points

JãÿfēäthērØfThûñdērčłäñ 5 years ago

#Toaster2020 Make Waffles Great Again

28points

S. 5 years ago

Toaster has my vote. #Toaster2020

8points

Darwinist 5 years ago

a toaster would toast everybody else and give corona a solid burn.

6points

Janelle Collard Premium 5 years ago

A big steaming pile of cow poo would be a better prez.

3points

semelina pitrone 5 years ago

I have set a downvote on your comment and I will give you the reason. You don't have the responsibility of being president therefore you have no idea how hard it would be. I am fully aware that it is safe to hide behind stupid comments until someone turns it into a meme. I know that you have every right to an opinion, but there is no reason to join the masses of people that are out to get the big guy that can take the beating and still hold his head high. I am not saying that he is the best president. I am saying that the fate of our country rests in God's hands and whatever comes will end soon enough. I don't wish to hide behind a stupid comment and title on the internet and want to make myself heard to you. I am Semelina Pitrone. I am only thirteen years old, am also entitled to opinions and think that you would crumble under the amount of hate that Trump receives. So would I. Peer pressure and pride are dangerous things, and it is okay to stand against the masses.

1point

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 5 years ago

PREACH

1point

TheHolyFatherOfToast 5 years ago

At least it would be useful

1point

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

When was the last time US had a good president? It seems to me that Trump is going to become a benchmark of sorts. He just sets the bar low, and so in future people in US will not complain so much about their horrendous leadership, and the world its influence on the world. Too much focus on what is a given - corruption in politics - and none on alternatives.

-2points

John Carr 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago

man, at this point, pouring the milk first would be a better president u_u

3points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 5 years ago

I can think of a number of THINGS that would make a better president....

1point

Eliana Mount 5 years ago

lol steve jobs is appleco. and donald trump....is orange

1point

Boop 5 years ago

LMAOOO

1point

Ben Steinberg 5 years ago

Even at this point in time, Steve Jobs would still make a better president...

1point

Isaac Harvey 5 years ago

ESPECIALLY at this point in time.

0points

riley jordan bremenkamp 3 years ago

i think u spelled biden wrong

0points

Ralph Burton 5 years ago

hahahahahaha

0points

Leesa DeAndrea 5 years ago

Even a dead person would better than trump.

0points

Falcon 5 years ago

This is funny and I hope Trump wins again.

0points

#6

Dad joke about a 40-week "bodybuilding program," humorously revealing the birth of a baby girl.

Final score:

277points

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Anne 5 years ago

this one is kinda cute

55points

Clove Kentwell 5 years ago

aw

3points

Nicole Tomme 5 years ago

I love this

1point

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Congratulations!

1point

Johanna-Nicollette Kidd 5 years ago

Lasting memory of that wright loss

0points

At the same time, there’s something about them that kinda works. You see, dad jokes are usually as neutral as they can be, since there is no social commentary, no political material, and no agenda. It doesn’t require great skill in catching a joke, doesn’t provoke much thought, and generally doesn’t carry some hidden meta meanings that need to be detected in order to get one.

With so much humor these days leveling on the inappropriate, it’s kinda refreshing to see something adults, kids, and everyone from any social and cultural background can easily relate to. On the other hand, if there’s no sense of transgression, and dad jokes are playing on the safe side, then they sooner or later get repetitive and kind of weary.

#7

Funny dad joke about a doctor named David and a confused patient during a small surgery.

Final score:

268points

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Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

...

30points

Steve Barnett 5 years ago

Sorry Kimora, I wasn't being patronising. I obviously misunderstood your comment and I just wanted to be helpful. Thank you for your response and explanation. Yours s.

11points

Bill 5 years ago

Nurse, get me 10 micrograms of ketamine stat. And get something for the patient too

7points

BTS WORLD 5 years ago

Lol

2points

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Old but gold

2points

CherryCola♥ 5 years ago

I-

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

Uh, second opinion, please.

1point

Panda with Heart 5 years ago

*runs out of the room*

1point

Kath Leen 5 years ago

i wonder if my uncle david says this?he is an ENT doctor XD

1point

Sabrina Fisher 5 years ago

Not the last words you wanna hear before the anesthesia kicks in

1point

valérie B-971 5 years ago

Like this one Can you feel the stress..?

0points

#8

Funny dad joke about neighbors ringing doorbells late at night.

Final score:

257points

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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

I wonder, why should anybody knock on your door at 3 AM while you're playing drums? Stupid people!

40points

Steven Essex 5 years ago

In an apartment building, no less!

0points

Sabrina Fisher 5 years ago

ba dum tissssss

8points

Grumble O'Pug 5 years ago

nicely done

0points

Fabulous Otaku 5 years ago

i wonder why...

1point

Jeff Lefavor Premium 5 years ago

roflmfao

0points

Panda with Heart 5 years ago

Not funny..neighbors that act like tha should move to an island alone!

0points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

You're free to take your own advice. The alternative is accepting that you share space with other people and their many differing habits and lifestyles and finding compromise, or being forever sour.

0points

MRS FLASHMAN 5 years ago

lol

0points

lara 5 years ago

ohmygawd that's funny.

0points

#9

Funny dad joke tweet about LGBTQ acronym with a clever twist on the word "straight."

Final score:

253points

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Full Name 5 years ago

LOL

25points

Bill 5 years ago

I just realized that Ellen Degeneres stand up routine is just telling dad jokes

2points

Ace Cole 5 years ago

Ba-dumm-ts

1point

Rose 5 years ago

It's so sad that's every time there's something to do with LGBTQ+ you always get the people at the bottom of the comments section being rude and saying that it's wrong and bad. I mean cmon. You're hurting people's feeling and it doesn't even effect you in any way?

1point

CherryCola♥ 5 years ago

OOF

1point

Shinomi Chan 5 years ago

Goddamn why did this one get me? XD

1point

Why? 5 years ago

That's queer!

1point

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago

Let's Go Bowling Tonight, Quentin.

1point

トトロ 4 years ago

That's a good one

0points

lara 5 years ago

Long Gone Before The Queue

0points

#10

Text exchange with a funny dad joke: "I’m on the toilet please advise."

Final score:

243points

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S. 5 years ago

If you're on the toilet, send her a snap of the back of the shampoo bottle.

44points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 5 years ago

I always have to wonder which hygiene-product company will catch onto this first!! They should put random trivia, facts and interesting bios on the back labels.

7points

postboredom 5 years ago

*stands on actual toilet seat and claps*

6points

Vytas Navickas 5 years ago

my wife ALWAYS texts me or calls, when I'm on the toilet....

1point

Yvonne Blau 5 years ago

That's how men kill romance :-D

1point

Claire Storace 5 years ago

Bwahahaha

1point

Ariana Grande<33 5 years ago

aww that's cute😍😍

0points

Sara Lopez 5 years ago

epic

0points

Ranger Beavis 5 years ago

What did she say????...

0points

Panda with Heart 5 years ago

Hahahahah

0points

Cupcake168 5 years ago

You just did.

0points

#11

Funny dad joke about fishing and excessive spending on gear.

Final score:

232points

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Some Cool Guy 5 years ago

Twice?

29points

Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago (edited)

Must be one of those guys that I've heard about that actually caught a fish. Why else would he go so often ?.

17points

Astrid Nineor 5 years ago

My dad used it twice (in total)

5points

BusLady 5 years ago

And the rest of the year, it's just taking up space in the garage. Along with all the power tools you're going to get around to building something with one of these days.

1point

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

true

1point

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

teach a man to fish and you won't see him all weekend

0points

Rejean Levesque 5 years ago

Eli Grober said something similar.

0points

Vytas Navickas 5 years ago

true dat

0points

Peter Spencer 5 years ago

Teach a man to fish and he'll spend every weekend for the rest of his life sitting out on the lake in his boat drinking beer and pretending to catch fish.

0points

TJ Taylor 5 years ago

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and eventually you'll have oceans short of fish.

0points

NavyDave 5 years ago

Depends on how many you teach. Fish reproduce ya know.

1point

Gregory Priest 5 years ago

Kinda like her buying shoes, then only wearing them once.

0points

#12

Dad joke tweet: "A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba-dumm-tsss."

Final score:

231points

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DforDorothy 5 years ago

LOL!

19points

Kate Bishop 5 years ago

If anyone doesn't know what it means say ba dumm tssss! It sounds like the drums after you say a joke LMAO

3points

Duxall Inarow 5 years ago

WHY ISN'T THIS #1?

2points

notyourgirl 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

totinos pizza rolls 5 years ago

this is by far my favorite

1point

Shull GaRett 5 years ago

Damn that changed the ba-bum-tss for ever xD

1point

Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago

I heard this one in the 70s.

1point

Chocoholic 5 years ago

Is it bad that this took me a minute...

1point

Dana Grunwald 5 years ago

Classic!

1point

#13

Funny dad joke tweet about fixing a car's terrible noise by removing a Mariah Carey CD.

Final score:

225points

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DforDorothy 5 years ago

Buuuurn.

49points

Darwinist 5 years ago

Buuuurn the CD for good measure.

8points

Some Cool Guy 5 years ago

I once worked for a large Swedish furniture chain. For the 4 weeks before Christmas they would play the same 2.5 hour Christmas playlist. So the same songs 4 times a day for 4 weeks. Never changed it in the 5 years I worked there. Yes I hate Christmas songs.

10points

Yvonne Blau 5 years ago

Plot twist: Last Christmas wasn't even one of the songs.

3points

SoozeeQ 5 years ago

All I want for Christmas is yoooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

2points

Toea Muresan Iulia 5 years ago

Beee, dum, tsss

2points

Clove Kentwell 5 years ago

YES.

1point

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Hahahhaaaa

1point

Hafida 5 years ago

Omg I laughed too hard on this one

0points

Falcon 5 years ago

Boooo!

0points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 5 years ago

Fried and served with a side of guffaw!!

0points

Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago

Thanks. I hated it, too.

0points

#14

Funny dad joke about a wife dressing as a policewoman and dropping charges due to lack of evidence.

Final score:

215points

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Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago

Guess she is off to pick up another suspect at the interrogation room.

37points

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

hope there's no list of "the usual suspects"

0points

Shull GaRett 5 years ago (edited)

Could it be that she "handled" this case incorrectly?

5points

Debbie 5 years ago

ouch

0points

#15

Dad joke about being pulled over, featuring a play on words with "papers" and "scissors."

Final score:

213points

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DforDorothy 5 years ago

...and only Dwayne Johnson could stop him after that!

102points

Darwinist 5 years ago

The Rock

3points

Yvonne Blau 5 years ago

I want to know how this story ended.

3points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Hot pursuit with 20 police cars, Pit-manoeuvre, 15 officers approach offenders car with drawn guns, offender tries to get out of burning car, so he gets shot 90 times because the officers were in fear of their life. Final investigation shows that officers did nothing wrong.

5points

WILLIAM FAULK 5 years ago

don't do this at home kids, you'l get you're a**e kicked

0points

StrangerOfTheDark 5 years ago

HEY! He copied that from the success kid meme!

0points

NanZ 5 years ago

Too funny! I am laughing like an idiot at these dad jokes!

0points

#16

Dad jokes Twitter post: "My teenage son treats me like a god. He acts like I don’t exist until he wants something."

Final score:

210points

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rspanther 5 years ago

And then you don't answer his prayers.

45points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

I hope that's just a joke xd lol

2points

Ace Cole 5 years ago

This needs to be higher.

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

God helps those who help themselves.

1point

Isaac Harvey 5 years ago

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.

1point

Duxall Inarow 5 years ago

stealsies!

1point

#17

Dad jokes text exchange with the classic line "Hi pregnant, I'm dad" from a humorous account.

Final score:

209points

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Vicky Zar 5 years ago

Mom joke?

72points

yes. 5 years ago

They are always ridiculously savage

12points

Sabrina Fisher 5 years ago

well... that escalated quickly

15points

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

damn

10points

Nicole Tomme 5 years ago

Ouch

9points

J Sizz 5 years ago

Apply plenty of aloe to burn area.

8points

Peet 5 years ago

Auch

8points

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

This one is really good!

6points

S. 5 years ago

F

4points

semelina pitrone 5 years ago

uck

1point

Cheryl Forbes 5 years ago

Burn

3points

Grace Kennedy 5 years ago

ooof. *Que sketchy look

2points

#18

Dad joke tweet: "If you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed room but less bedroom."

Final score:

199points

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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Ezri Humphrey 5 years ago

Yes, most definitely

3points

postboredom 5 years ago

Shower thought

6points

Catlady6000 5 years ago

It's actually why I have a smaller bed

3points

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

my brain hurts-

2points

Why? 5 years ago

A tired joke.

1point

Daniela Daniel 5 years ago

Mind blown!🤯

0points

Candice Ravel 5 years ago

Stoner thoughts

0points

Dee Stern Premium 5 years ago

Unless you have dogs, and you still have no room.

0points

David Wong 5 years ago

What if the big bed can't be moved in the bedroom?

0points

Eliana Mount 5 years ago

now this is funny!

0points

#19

Twitter post with stages of life and Santa, shared by a dad jokes account.

Final score:

191points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

You can call this "Santa's meaning of life"

27points

postboredom 5 years ago

Dont you Santa with this one

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

And that's the elfing truth.

1point

Yvonne Blau 5 years ago

5. You don't exist (anymore)

1point

David Wong 5 years ago

Add one more step and it's a life cycle.

0points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

yep

0points

#20

Dad joke about Microsoft Office puns in a conversation between boss and employee.

Final score:

186points

POST

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

We could use a blue screen of death right about now.

34points

semelina pitrone 5 years ago

NO anything but that!!!!!

0points

postboredom 5 years ago

I love having Access to these puns. Its a whole new Outlook

19points

Capermom 5 years ago

Noice..!

3points

Colin L 5 years ago

My favorite oxymoron: Microsoft Works

8points

Bill 5 years ago

Remember its grandaddy Lotus suite? No complaints about MS

0points

Darwinist 5 years ago

I'm on Outlook for good puns.

5points

postboredom 5 years ago (edited)

Ha! I just got the same pun! *high-five

4points

Truth Monster 5 years ago

Take Notes.

3points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#21

A funny dad joke about wishes and lawyers from a Twitter post.

Final score:

182points

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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Hahahaaa

23points

S. 5 years ago

Reminds me of the quote from a Shakespeare's play, “Let's kill all the lawyers.” It's funny on the surface level, but the context was that, the characters involved in that scene were planning to get rid of lawyers to build up an anarchic society.

1point

Yvonne Blau 5 years ago

You had to bring Shakespeare into a post about Dad jokes.

0points

notyourgirl 5 years ago

bahaha

0points

Jeff Lefavor Premium 5 years ago

rrooffllmmaaoooooooooooooo

0points

#22

Dad jokes tweet about grounding son for chewing electrical cords, humorously using pun on "conducting himself."

Final score:

181points

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Some Cool Guy 5 years ago

That's pretty punny

37points

Louloubelle 5 years ago

Shocking!

5points

Leet_loves_space 3 years ago

lots of puns does not a dad joke make

0points

Erin Mahar 5 years ago

😂🤣😂😂😂 Awesome

0points

#23

Dad joke about not affording a Hawaii trip, humorously blaming COVID-19 instead.

Final score:

175points

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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Half of my friends have already told me this jock since the beginning of pandemic 😉

21points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

So you haven't met the other half yet?

8points

Bob Belcher 5 years ago (edited)

Heeeey, I made that exact joke in here several months ago lol

0points

#24

Funny dad joke tweet about a wife watching a wedding video, calling her husband a moron.

Final score:

172points

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Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

oh no...

28points

True Blue 5 years ago

I don't really get it sorry can somebody please explain?

2points

Alexia Alberts 5 years ago

A church is were you get married, and when she shouted don't go in the chruch you moron, it sounded like something that would happen in a horror movie.

2points

Larkyn Blue 5 years ago

poor u

2points

Pamela24 5 years ago

Maybe I'm too young but those jokes really don't seem that funny. I somehow don't find the premise of people being married to somebody they don't like, amusing.

2points

John Montgomery 5 years ago

I don't think are too young. I'm 39, and that type of joke has been overdone for me for several years now. Maybe it's because I do have a good marriage. I find it difficult to relate.

6points

Lavender Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ 5 years ago

Cri

1point

Brianna Lidster 5 years ago

XD XD XD im prolly gonna do that XD XD XD

1point

Sara Lopez 5 years ago

lol

1point

David Wong 5 years ago

You two should drink together.

1point

KT 5 years ago

lol!

1point

Clove Kentwell 5 years ago

oooooooooooooo

0points

#25

Dad joke tweet about the year 2020, highlighting humorous wordplay with numbers.

Final score:

154points

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Maiun 5 years ago

Ha!

22points

Harold Summer 5 years ago

Nice one! Took a while to figure it out.

9points

Ariana Grande<33 5 years ago

same XD

2points

Kate Bishop 5 years ago

We'll still get another chance because 2022 is 2020, too!

7points

Charles Wu 5 years ago

Explain please

2points

Maya Bélanger 5 years ago

That would be admitting that twenty twenty won

15points

Kristi VanTassel McHugh 5 years ago

That took me a second too long to figure out. lol

1point

Clove Kentwell 5 years ago

It already has.

1point

Jan Prescott 5 years ago

Groan

0points

Debbie 5 years ago

Wow!

0points

Duxall Inarow 5 years ago

Bad boi! To your room!

0points

Brandi VanSteenwyk 5 years ago

This really should have more upvotes!! And I thought that looking forward to 2021 meant I was demonstrating optimism (that all the horrible things myself and the rest of the world are enduring will be finished). My entire wish list is going to have to change.

0points

#26

A dad joke about Bruce Lee's vegan brother, "Broco Lee," shared by a dedicated Twitter account.

Final score:

151points

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BlackRabbit 5 years ago

the religious one too.. Ho Lee

87points

Bill 5 years ago

That's his sister

21points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

Don't forget his friend Guaca'mo Lee!

1point

StrangerOfTheDark 5 years ago

I heard that one was shot a bunch of times in war... ;^p

0points

Peet 5 years ago

And a very average brother: Normal Lee

11points

Nicole Tomme 5 years ago

And a comedian cousin. Si Lee.

8points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

Let us not forget the porn star, Hard Lee.

7points

Eepe 5 years ago

I had a teacher, Mrs. Lee. She named her child Brock. Brock Eugene Lee. 100% true story.

5points

John Montgomery 5 years ago

The baker sister: Sarah Lee.

4points

Chris 5 years ago

And a comedian - funny lee

3points

StrangerOfTheDark 5 years ago

And the one who does the same thing each day... Day Lee

2points

Clove Kentwell 5 years ago

This took me a second

2points

Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

What about the one who was making trousers? Just Lee.

1point

Charlotte Stewart 5 years ago

I thought he was a judge.

1point

#27

Dad jokes tweet: "What starts with W and ends with T. It really does, I swear."

Final score:

145points

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ahmad fauzi md sharif 5 years ago

well, Nothing begins with an N and ends with a G. Trust me.

67points

Tiffiny 5 years ago

I just wanted to see the other replies, and I was not disappointed.

3points

shado 5 years ago

N ... er, G ... ?

1point

Isaac 3 years ago

Dank nug

0points

*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

StrangerOfTheDark 5 years ago

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Lyn Ashurst 5 years ago

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Kate Bishop 5 years ago

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♥︎♡ᴀʟɪᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀʀᴢ♡♥︎ 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

for those who don't get it, the word WHAT starts with W and ends in T lmao

9points

Ben Smith 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Toea Muresan Iulia 5 years ago

jeez, that was so stupid, I had to really concentrate and think it

1point

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Took me a minute!

1point

Darwinist 5 years ago

That starts with T and ends with it. It really does

1point

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

And there's a word that's spelt wrongly in the dictionary !

0points

Lyn Ashurst 5 years ago

Wort

0points

Ivan Ilic 5 years ago

"What" haha love dad jokes

0points

#28

Tweet with a funny dad joke about road worker signs by @Dadsaysjokes.

Final score:

142points

POST

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

but did you follow them?

21points

Alex Parker 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Andrew Keir 2 years ago

The last one was a "STOP" sign ...

0points

#29

Dad joke about a husband introducing his wife as an ex-girlfriend.

Final score:

136points

POST

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

but you're not wrong-

48points

Monday 5 years ago

technically correct...the best kind of correct

17points

Marilyn Holt 5 years ago

Better than introducing her as your first wife.

10points

SykesDaMan 5 years ago

Maybe she wanted you to be chronologically precise: Girlfriend, then ex-girlfriend then ex-fiancée?

5points

BusLady 5 years ago

Better than introducing her as the first wife...

2points

Courtney Christelle 5 years ago

That's funny.

2points

Lyn Ashurst 5 years ago

I think it's kind of cute....and now I am his wife would be the response.

0points

Jeff Lefavor Premium 5 years ago

lol

0points

Sara Lopez 5 years ago

lol

0points

Shinomi Chan 5 years ago

I mean yes, but actually...

0points

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Hahahaaa! I think I'm gonna introduce my wife the same way in the future!!

0points

#30

Dad joke about knocking on a fridge in case there's a salad dressing, from a Twitter account dedicated to dad jokes.

Final score:

129points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Lol

16points

Bob Belcher 5 years ago

That's would explain why the ketchup was blushing

4points

Tessa Gray 5 years ago

salad: Leaf me alone! Lettuce finish dressing!

2points

Why? 5 years ago

Meanwhile back at the ranch ...

3points

Pamela24 5 years ago

Took me a second.

2points

Darwinist 5 years ago

How about Naked brand smoothies

1point

Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago

Oh, yeah. They're good. I remember when they were starting out in Glendora, CA, and down the road from the college (was a librarian). After work, I'd go an buy fresh squeezes juices, cheap. Now they're part of an overpriced conglomerate.

2points

#31

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

43points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

This is the funniest one of all.

11points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

It's the nastiest one--

1point

Darwinist 5 years ago

Put Viagra in the cocktails. They probably need a dose of Vitamin V

1point

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

Ugh...

0points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

Why. Just why.

0points

#32

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

41points

POST

InstantRamenGuy 5 years ago

Next time they should planet well!

14points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 5 years ago

good one

1point

Darwinist 5 years ago

The got bored for 365 days and called it a bad year

0points

#33

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

41points

POST

Peet 5 years ago

Chrystal clear

11points

S. 5 years ago

You think this pun was awful? Wait till you sea mine.

6points

#34

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

40points

POST

S. 5 years ago

Looking to the left because this isn't right.

7points

#35

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

39points

POST

Harold Summer 5 years ago

That hit the spot.

6points

KT 5 years ago

omg this is the best one im laughing so hard!

2points

ƒιѕн 5 years ago

Oh s**t thats funny lol

1point

#36

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

38points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

You did good!

5points

BusLady 5 years ago

The most successful psychic knows just how much money you have in your wallet.

2points

Terd Fergison 5 years ago

For real, f**k psychics! They are frauds and grief vampires preying on suffering people.

1point

K.Kobayashi 5 years ago

Seriously though, any competent psychic should say "Come in, I've been expecting you."

0points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

?

0points

#37

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

36points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Same results here 😒

11points

Some Cool Guy 5 years ago

Totally not me. I use a chair.

4points

BusLady 5 years ago

At this rate, I really will look like Santa by December. 🎄🎅

3points

Darwinist 5 years ago

And grown fatter

2points

#38

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

35points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Well that was a low blow.

5points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

I died xD

1point

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Short people have easier lives because they are much more down to earth and can make better use of loopholes, though.

1point

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

True, true. Coming from a really short person. Lol XD

1point

notyourgirl 5 years ago

Buuuurn

0points

#39

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

35points

POST

#40

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

34points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

LMAO!

9points

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Lol

1point

Ariana Grande<33 5 years ago

BUUUURN

0points

notyourgirl 5 years ago

omg lmao that got me laughing out loud XD

0points

Dana Grunwald 5 years ago

Poor man!

0points

#41

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

33points

POST

Scagsy 5 years ago

50Cent battled his urges to eat and 51

14points

Ezri Humphrey 5 years ago

haha

1point

postboredom 5 years ago

Why did 6 run away? Because 7 8 9

1point

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Sometime 58 even he is not hungry, I'm sure

0points

#42

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

33points

POST

Dana Grunwald 5 years ago

Good choice!

4points

#43

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

32points

POST

Darwinist 5 years ago

He's not staring. Hint hint.

4points

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#44

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

32points

POST

Harold Summer 5 years ago

Practical and funny!

6points

Darwinist 5 years ago

How about some mustard gas.

0points

#45

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

32points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Hahahahaa! That's really some special pen!

5points

Darwinist 5 years ago

it can also write in space, on the sun, etcetera

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

Like upsidedown?

1point

#46

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

31points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

That's a good joke, no matter it's older than the Internet itself

1point

#47

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

31points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

SiliconE Valley.

6points

Alex Parker 5 years ago

r/whoosh

0points

#48

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

30points

POST

notyourgirl 5 years ago

LOL

2points

qwerty 5 years ago

LOLLLL

1point

#49

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

30points

POST

Ian Milne 5 years ago

I gave a blind man a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the worst book he’s ever read...

11points

giraffescupcakesandlove 5 years ago

That's really good, but now I have a terrible image in my head!

4points

notyourgirl 5 years ago

OMG LOL but also whhyy

1point

Flare 5 years ago

What's wrong with you?!?

0points

BusLady 5 years ago

I'm reading a horror book in jail. Something bad already happened.

2points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

But you're hands are warm reading under the covers.

1point

Ariana Grande<33 5 years ago

ooohh I get it ahaha

0points

#50

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

30points

POST

Full Name 5 years ago

Took me a minute.

7points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

I still don't get it xD

0points

Barbara Baldwin 5 years ago

I don't get it

0points

Grace 5 years ago

Play on words. He took poll, as in a test, and he took a pole, as in what holds up a tent.

1point

#51

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

29points

POST

Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago

I don’t get it, can someone explain?

6points

A Random Panda 5 years ago

25% of the word roof is oof.

3points

Gabi Lawson 1 year ago

25 percent is 1 fourth and roof has 4 letters. Take 1 letter of or 25 percent of roof off you have oof.

1point

notyourgirl 5 years ago

ooohh bahaha that's funny

0points

Darwinist 5 years ago

i thought you would get a roo as in kangaroo

0points

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago

Oh dear. That's poor!

0points

#52

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

29points

POST

Emily Ashcraft 5 years ago

loyal almost to a fault

3points

#53

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

29points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

You don't say! How come?

2points

#54

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

28points

POST

DforDorothy 5 years ago

That's how you start a cr*ppy day :D

18points

postboredom 5 years ago

This is poo-nny

3points

#55

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

28points

POST

#56

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

27points

POST

Some Cool Guy 5 years ago

How did you handle it?

5points

Jaded Queen 5 years ago

With whores and pussy toys

0points

#57

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

27points

POST

S. 5 years ago

He needs to quit horsing around!

8points

BusLady 5 years ago

Stable, with a sore A*s.

2points

DforDorothy 5 years ago

Is the guy in a stable condition now?

1point

#58

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

27points

POST

S. 5 years ago

Cruel, but clever. ;D

5points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

That'll do it. Bullet bar meet bullet train.

4points

#59

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

27points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

And still deny that world isn't flat.

5points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#60

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

27points

POST

#61

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

26points

POST

Amit John 5 years ago

😂

4points

lara 5 years ago

Good one.

1point

A Random Panda 5 years ago

?

0points

#62

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

26points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

You don't say? Hahahaa

7points

postboredom 5 years ago

Must've said it with a lot of gusto(s)

1point

#63

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

26points

POST

Bill 5 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Flare 5 years ago

wut.

2points

#64

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

26points

POST

#65

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

26points

POST

#66

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

#67

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Carrot dude 5 years ago

uh wut

14points

#68

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

Scagsy 5 years ago

I had a friend who used to love tractors. Not so much these days. He's an ex-tractor fan.

4points

Bill 5 years ago

a $2 million dollar machine will

0points

#69

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

#70

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

notyourgirl 5 years ago

omg hahaha hahahahaha

1point

#71

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

Your answer is not complete! What about Bart and Lisa?

7points

Flare 5 years ago

Who downvoted this? Don't worry, I brought it back up.

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

And don't forget little Maggie.

2points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

And the pervert uncle. :>

1point

#72

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

But, why???

4points

Flare 5 years ago

I don't think we should find out.....

1point

BusLady 5 years ago

They were going to name her Harry...

1point

#73

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

24points

POST

#74

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

23points

POST

lara 5 years ago

But, at least they saved the good stuff, otherwise we would only be left with toast.

1point

#75

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

23points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

I felt that...

1point

#76

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

23points

POST

#77

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

23points

POST

Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago

Very funny... Very funny

3points

Alex Parker 5 years ago

I don’t get it

0points

Party Poison 5 years ago

?

0points

Party Poison 5 years ago

ooooooh nvm

0points

#78

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

23points

POST

Jaded Queen 5 years ago

Quite clever huh

3points

#79

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

Scagsy 5 years ago

There's a brilliant machine at our gym. It does everything. Sweets, crisps, pop

6points

#80

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

S. 5 years ago

What a mother forklift he was!

13points

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

Good dam him!

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

StrangerOfTheDark 5 years ago

That joke was really true. The person who made auto correct was a fumbling dime win.

0points

#81

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago

BlackLivesMatter!

7points

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

BLACK LIVE MATTER, DAMMIT!!!!!

7points

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

oooh too soon

2points

Party Poison 5 years ago

aw thats sad!

0points

#82

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Meanwhile, I heard that Fahrenheit moved to the States.

4points

notyourgirl 5 years ago

I don't get it, can someone explain???

0points

#83

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

#84

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

Desiré Yen 5 years ago

I don't get it??

2points

CamlikesCookies 5 years ago

Hes calling his boss a d*ck

1point

#85

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

rspanther 5 years ago

Is your name Timmy?

5points

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

No, obviously his name's Dad Jokes.

1point

#86

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Oh, they'll sort it out.

5points

Grace 5 years ago

?

0points

#87

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

husaduhfu9873823grqu2irg32

3points

#88

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

JustAWeirdoGirlChild 5 years ago

damn

2points

#89

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

22points

POST

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

bring 2,4,6 and 8 and it'll be an even fight :)

42points

Emily Ashcraft 5 years ago

the odds were not in your favor

1point

#90

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

21points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

The early bird gets the Tequila worm.

5points

#91

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

20points

POST

#92

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

20points

POST

Emily Ashcraft 5 years ago

am i the only one who heard velco ripping while reading that?

9points

notyourgirl 5 years ago

lol meee too...

1point

#93

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

20points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Wear one backwards.

3points

#94

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

20points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

There's still hope.Maybe your son will marry a rich girl.

2points

Grace 5 years ago

Or rich boy

0points

#95

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

19points

POST

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

Yea but she laughs harder.

10points

S. 5 years ago

But he laughs faster.

5points

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

Well, I can laugh in 12 languages.

0points

#96

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

19points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

One word: V-I-A-G-R-A.

3points

#97

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

19points

POST

Kimora Cameron 5 years ago

;-;

12points

Verena Gitterle 5 years ago

sniff

8points

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

Want a hug?

4points

lara 5 years ago

So true, but then you save another life and your heart heals.

3points

Zoe White 5 years ago

OH NO ABORT ABORT

2points

BusLady 5 years ago

In the meantime, 12 years of joy.

1point

Bill 5 years ago

Even less for the bigger breeds

1point

qwerty 5 years ago

kinda morbid

0points

CamlikesCookies 5 years ago

I hate u so much ;-;

0points

#98

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

19points

POST

#99

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

19points

POST

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

So it's true: tiny is our latest troll.

2points

My O My 5 years ago (edited)

This joke managed to p**s me off somehow

0points

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#100

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

19points

POST

#101

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

18points

POST

#102

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

18points

POST

#103

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

17points

POST

#104

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

16points

POST

#105

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

15points

POST

#106

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

15points

POST

My O My 5 years ago

Poor suitcase

1point

#107

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

14points

POST

Kanga9ine 5 years ago

This is so bad and am looking around hoping no one asks me what's so funny. I must be really tired.

9points

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

You aren't alone. I too, LOLed at this super hard.

4points

BusLady 5 years ago

I think you're Lion.

1point

#108

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

14points

POST

Shelby P 5 years ago

so bad it's good

2points

#109

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

14points

POST

#110

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

14points

POST

#111

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

14points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Also, houseshoes.

1point

#112

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

#113

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago

I wonder why...?

3points

#114

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

#115

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago

Brilliant!

3points

BusLady 5 years ago

Yes, of course, swimmingly.

2points

#116

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

#117

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

No, their not.

1point

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

I believe you meant "knot", ma'am.

2points

#118

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

What has 3 letters and starts a car?

1point

Grace 5 years ago

key

0points

#119

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

#120

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

#121

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

#122

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

13points

POST

Puta Lydia 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago (edited)

Q: In the following sentence, which verb – “is” or “are” – is correct? “Only one in ten business-method patents is/are granted to a financial institution.” A: A subject like “one in ten” or “one out of three” or “one in every six” always takes a singular verb: “One in ten is” … “One out of three comes” … “One in every six says” … and so on. The subject here is “one.”

8points

#123

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

#124

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

Steve Barnett 5 years ago

Punchline should just be 'Ten' to be more effective.

-2points

#125

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

#126

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Because they know what's good for them.

1point

#127

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

#128

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

#129

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

#130

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#131

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

12points

POST

postboredom 5 years ago

this is a strong one

2points

#132

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

11points

POST

#133

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

11points

POST

#134

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

10points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago

Teacher: "Alright, who can use 'dandelion' in a sentence?" Me: *Raises hand* Teacher: "Arctic Fox Lover, go ahead." Me: "Da cheetah is faster dandelion."

1point

Adam Rindegård 5 years ago

brilliant, just brilliant.

0points

Named No Name 5 years ago

took a sec.

0points

#135

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

10points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Chicken better skedaddle before he becomes part of the salad.

1point

Eepe 5 years ago

?

0points

Eepe 5 years ago

Ohhh. No.

0points

#136

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

10points

POST

#137

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

10points

POST

#138

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

9points

POST

#139

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

9points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Ask Vladimir Lenin.

1point

#140

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

9points

POST

#141

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

9points

POST

#142

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#143

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#144

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

He must have had a very skinny coffin.

1point

#145

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#146

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#147

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#148

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Unless he's Johnny Cash. Then his son can be named Sue.

1point

#149

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#150

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

You better Hunts up a doctor.

1point

#151

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

Todorokie-dokie 5 years ago

Sorry, what was the joke here?

1point

Desiré Yen 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#152

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#153

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

postboredom 5 years ago

The winner was actually Sir Priced

3points

#154

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#155

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#156

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

rspanther 5 years ago

A politician.

5points

Party Poison 5 years ago

YES 👏👏👏

2points

#157

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

8points

POST

#158

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

7points

POST

Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago

Can someone help? idgi.

5points

TahNisha Hutcherson 5 years ago

30 second

8points

Grace 5 years ago

what about her 22nd

1point

Named No Name 5 years ago

idgi

0points

S. 5 years ago

Took me a minute, but this is wickedly clever!

0points

#159

Funny-Dad-Jokes-Puns-Tweets

Final score:

7points

POST

BusLady 5 years ago

Did you Miracle Whip their a*s?

1point