50 Of The Most Brilliant Comebacks Ever Screenshotted, As Shared On The ‘Clever Comebacks’ Page (New Pics)
There are very few things in life that feel better than one-upping someone. Not too many of us will admit it, but it feels absolutely amazing when you prove someone wrong, show everyone you're right, and demolish others with well-placed witty comebacks. The best roasts end up on the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit, a community of nearly 754k members, eagerly combing the corners of the internet for humorous, witty, and razor-sharp comebacks.
When it comes to being witty, there are two general approaches. The first one is firing off an instant quip, taking advantage of the perfect timing. It's a skill that you can develop over time. The second approach is taking a bit more time and carefully honing the perfect response for each situation. That's much easier done on the internet than in real life, but it's also something we can all do, no matter our current skill in cleverly taking others down a peg or two.
London-based British musical stand-up comedian, author, and comedy writer Ariane Sherine highlighted to Bored Panda in a follow-up interview what's most important when it comes to a clever comeback. "I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she said. Read on for her other insights about how we can all up our comedy game.
You'll find Bored Panda's earlier post about r/clevercomebacks right over here. Be sure to give it a read once you're done enjoying this list and upvoting the comebacks and epic burns that you personally feel deserve calling the fire brigade over.
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Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile
You Can Still Breathe Idiot
Also, the subject of double masking among people outside healthcare wouldn’t even have come up if Trumpy boy hadn’t been all “RAMPANTLY SPREADING COVID IN THE COMMUNITY IS FREEEEEEEEEEDUMB!!!1!” Signed, Our prime minister doesn’t like covid
It's Already Happening
Ariane told us that most stand-up comics have a "repertoire of comebacks" that they often share with others in their profession when it comes to tackling hecklers at shows. "We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
Hypocritical, Hyperbolic, And Hyper Stupid
Room Temperature Iq
Someone from the US talking about rights is quite ironic in my opinion. Although I don’t see anywhere that suggests Gary is from the US.
Exodus 20:7
Comedian Ariane also opened up about an "awful stand-up show" that left her incredibly embarrassed. However humiliating the situation was, it was also an example of razor-like wit in action. "I started a joke by saying 'I'm single at the moment...' and a guy in the audience yelled, 'I'll shag you!' So I called his bluff and said, 'Come on up here then' and he shot back, 'Nah, I've taken a closer look and I don't fancy you!' Really humiliating and not much fun at all, but possibly quite amusing for the audience."
I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before
Ok, cool answer for that MF. BUT MUFASA!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS WAS THE DAY MY CHILDHOOD ENDED!!!
May I Use Your Tweets?
I Hate Anti-Maskers
Ariane added that you gain emotional resilience as a comedian by becoming more experienced and practised at the comebacks. "You don't want to give them the chance to reject you, as I did previously— you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!"
Simple, Yet Effective
What a stupid tautology of a statement ffs. PSA: Feminism isn't attacking men for being men. It's equal right. So tiring to see this nonsense
Illegal Plants
Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight
For those of us who have some trouble firing off clever retors, Ariane said that we can always take inspiration from comedians if things don't come naturally to us. "As I say, heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honour when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!)" she said.
I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!
Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?
Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places
What did they think they were proving? That JB isn't tyrant-y enough?
Earlier, I spoke to comedian Ariane about wit, comebacks, and comedic timing. The professional comedian explained to Bored Panda that when it comes to witty comebacks, they can be spontaneous as well as planned out.
Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days
Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???
As an amateur astronomer, I found this very informative. I will avoid World of Carpets. Thanks for the heads up
Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid
A lot depends on the person thinking up the comeback as well as the particular situation they're in. After all, we've all had moments when we fire off a joke that's 10/10 without knowing how it came to us. We've also been in situations where we're in the shower washing our hair, and we suddenly come up with the ideal comeback to something someone said a week ago. Alas! Usually, it's too late to deploy that perfect comeback because it's far, far too late.
She's Baaaad
Maybe I Am Karen?
Bill Burr Everybody
"I've definitely come up with comebacks that are spontaneous," Ariane shared. For instance, I told my daughter that if she didn't behave, I'd give her inheritance to a donkey sanctuary. She said, 'You wouldn't', and I came back, 'You bet your ass!' But though I hadn't used that comeback before, I clearly had knowledge of the pun and might have used something similar in the past."
He's Not Wrong
Look Before You Leap
God didn’t choose to put COVID in the world. We have free choices. We are not god’s puppets. That guy ate the bat, and god sent abt 20 different versions of the vaccine. I can’t believe this. (For ye Americans, there are a lot more vaccines, its just for sum reason America wants to make their own. Don’t ask.) (and i am American too do dont say you don't know that)
Load More Replies...A drowning fisherman refuses all offers of aid after his boat capsizes because "I have faith in my god! I'm praying and my god will save me." So he gets to the afterlife and asks his god why he didn't answer his prayers and the deity smacks on the back of the head and says "What do you think the people trying to pull you out of the water were, dummy?"
I can't claim to be religious, but haven't I heard that God helps those who help themselves?
Yes he does. If you want something and work hard for it, he will give it to you. This lady is just stupid. Not all Christians are like this I promise.
Load More Replies...I need more information on the " Most High Simple. " The Most High Complex confuses me sometimes.
It's a powerful balloon. The simplest way from point A to B is a straight line, and the simplest flotation device that moves straight up is a balloon; therefore "MOST HIGH SIMPLE" is a balloon that's capable of taking someone to the highest elevation attainable.
Load More Replies...You CANNOT have FAITH in God and still wear shoes. If you wear shoes that means that YOU DO NOT HAVE FAITH IN THE MOST HIGH SIMPLE.
The Catholic Church is an organization which has long supported science and research. But maybe the largest and oldest christian denomination is a godless heathens cult so they don't really count ?
They actually persecuted scientists and doctors for centuries. Even nowadays a lot of catholic priests and bishops are against modern medicine and the vaccine.
Load More Replies...God have us the ability to reason. It is logical to get the vaccine. Its logical and normal to worry about the efficacy, the potency and the side effects, but saying that taking it is an affront to God is using your religion as an excuse to be stupid. Fyi, while there have been some safety handling hiccups, the numbers are showing its as safe as something can be.
God didn’t choose to put COVID in the world. We have free choices. We are not god’s puppets. That guy ate the bat, and god sent abt 20 different versions of the vaccine. I can’t believe this. (For ye Americans, there are a lot more vaccines, its just for sum reason America wants to make their own. Don’t ask.) (and i am American too do dont say you don't know that)
God helps those that help themselves... like getting vaccinated! He didn't make the men and women who created the vaccine to be ignored! Nope, he made them to do a great thing, and for us to take what is offered by them!
I'd laugh, but these folks really say this, to our faces, at the hospital, and on my current shift, we seem to have acquired them *all*....
there is absolutely nothing in the bible that says you should refuse help. these people need to hear the story about the man in the flood.
Glasses aren't manufactured with aborted fetal tissue, so it's a bit different.
No matter what you think about the vaccine, lines must be drawn. You don't get to tell people they don't believe in their god properly. You can disagree without making an ass of yourself. Shame on this person
Religion directs people to be embarrassingly credulous. What did people THINK would happen to a society that platforms and pedestals belief in crazy crap just because "sincerely held belief" and the label "religion"?? When people are conditioned to believe in dumb s**t, it doesn't stop at "gods". It's a systemic lack of critical thinking, in many places an intentional sabotage of education systems, which is a necessary requirement for getting people to keep believing in religious s**t in a world where information is so accessible.
MeDicInE iS aGaInSt GoD, yOu sHoULd dIE tO pRoVe yOuR fAiTh iN gOd. pRaIsE JeeBuS!
I don't have faith in the most low either. Or the middle.
Load More Replies...Vandalized Pineapple
As for finding the line between a regular comeback and one that makes you laugh out loud, according to comedian Ariane, it's clear for everyone to see when the comeback's good and when it falls flat on its face. "It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable." When you break it down like that, the art of the comeback becomes even more daunting than it was before.
Fortunately, our subconscious mind kicks in and takes over from us when we least expect it. (It could do that more often because it's bloody brilliant when it takes charge.) "But that's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!" Ariane shared that it doesn't happen nearly as often as we'd like.
When You Get Shot Down By Facts
That’s My Gender
Who’ll Email You When You Block Him More Like This
Founded back in 2018, the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit celebrated its third birthday back in January. Since then, it's amassed a huge following that keeps on growing. Since our last post about the community in December 2020, the number of members has grown from 679k to almost 754k.
Not everyone has the nuanced point of view that witty comebacks can be either impulsive or planned out. According to Rhea Wessel writing for the BBC, witty comebacks can only be made in the moment and timing is vital. Without it, there's no wit and no comeback worth remembering.
They Lack Opposable Thumbs
What's with the antivaxxers thinking they are lions, I've seen a few of this. Poor lions, we musn't tar them with such a dumbass brush
Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control
This Is Not Your Business There Is A Something To Consider, You And Your Boss Do Illegal Things Every Day
While we all secretly enjoy a spot of dark humor here and there, there's an advantage to choosing to go for more positive comebacks instead of negative ones. "Often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate and most importantly, positive," Rhea writes on BBC Worklife.
Choosing positive comebacks over negative ones is especially important in a work setting which can affect the atmosphere and how employees feel about their jobs. "Positive comments are a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and you may see negative interactions quickly cease," Rhea explains.
The Founders Would Say "The F**k Is An Ohio?"
Asking For A Friend
Totally True
Well, It Had To Be Something Productive, Right?
Now That Is Some Comeback!
That's actually a cute way to turn a self depreciating put down type of thing into a sweet potential date or friend :)
"Id Like To Live"
“How Many Gold Medals Do You Have?”
It Be Like That
Found On Fb... Personally I Found The Response To Be Quite A Zinger
That's A Critical Hit!!
Colorado Didn't Send Their Best Or Brightest
Do Some Research Before Spouting Nonsense
Skinny Jeans Are Out!
I Would Prefer "Beeeeees Run Run"
Fascists Calling Others Fascists
And a slew of chumpanzee twits who grew up on legitimate press suddenly believe in a fraudster like trump. Insane
Savage Comeback
I will add another, largely denies women’s rights for example domestic violence, sexual assault etc.
I Am More Better Than Everyone
Kaepernick Has Entered The Chat
Hey Girl, Are You Piñata ?
Vaccinated Politician Tries To Call Out Elitism
It’s Easy To Make Ted Cruz Look Like An Idiot With All The Stuff He Does.
I Mean, He's Not Wrong ..
In Kensington in London the life expectancy between people that live in the South and people that live in the North is ten years. Ten years.
A Whole Lotta Words!
with that logic, men shouldn't wear pants. we'll see a larger curve, if you get my drift XD
Imagine Getting Owned By Your High School Teacher Decades After You Graduate
Electric Car Owners
The Perfect Analogy
Trump Karen Gets Quoted Scripture
When Gun Fanatics Accidentally Make Your Point For You.
Powerful Clapback
Getting Owned By Their Own Kids
And The Survey Says.....
Giving Will Be Rewarded
Anti-Masker vs. A Hedge
Well I Can't Suggest Her Anything (Being Op Sucks)
Called Us “F***ers” !!!
I would seriously like to know how Kayleigh sleeps at night after what she has said during Trumps presidency.
Technically Correct, The Best Kind Of Correct, Until Someone Starts Crying
How Dare These People Try To Steal The Election With Their Votes!
Misandrist Gets Murdered By An Intellectual!
Change My Mind, But Without Science
One Pay Taxes The Other Doesn't
Protecting the churchgoers, leaving the pervs to fend for themselves?
From A Post About "Censorship" (Because Some Anti-Vaccine Bs Was Removed)
P.h.d. From Google
On Decriminalising Drugs
Making drugs legal does not mean there aren’t restrictions. The fact is making illicit drugs legal will actually solve many problems like drug cartels, serious crimes, the high rates of overdose or people taking laced drugs etc. Prohibition doesn’t work but having rules and regulations helps greatly.
I Don't Think So
Nice Try, Libertarians.
In This Together
Does This Belong Here?
I Guess Herc’s Weakness Is Employment
Brain Washed
A Remarkable Likeness
I Rather Trust The Scientists
What Would The Founders Say?
Speaks For Itself
That’s Gotta Hurt
The Use Of Such A Petty Insult Like Dummy Somehow Makes This More Savage???
Well Let’s Swap Bank Accounts... Mines “Normally” Negative
Who Exactly Is Bailing Out Who?
So, What Did You Do For Easter?
We Already Do!
We will have flying cars in the future. As soon as we have found ways to let cars drive totally autonomous so shitheads can text and drive or drink and drive without any consequences to some innocent victim.
A Bold Assumption. She's Only A Politician After All...
He's A Big Strong Boy
Look Who Wants To End A Term Early
Just goes to show how bad a president he was if even pro-life wanted to end his term early.
Edit: Superior Platform
very nice that twitter is roasting itself like this. I like companies that don't take themselves too seriously 🙃
Clever Twitter Exchange
Broke men are hurting women's marriage prospects? Wait, did I miss the meeting where women are back tracking on the equality thing? Get your butt off the couch and get a job. Who says men have to bring home the money? They are just as capable of staying home and raising the kid/ being househusbands.....
To deny science is to hinder science. Please respond to the Anti-vaxers with straight forward logic and scientific based information.
Every. Day. And they still refuse. I understand intellectually that their fear drives their denial, but I'd still like to drag each one into an autopsy of a Covid victim an dshow them what this does to *otherwise healthy people*...
Load More Replies...They have one! Here: https://www.boredpanda.com/anti-vaxxer-vaccination-funny-comebacks/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Load More Replies...To deny science is literally a punch to the face for some people who died because they didn’t have the technology we have today.
Jonas Grinevicius stop being so good with your articles.😜 You're really on fire. Very very well done.
I wanted to write "BURN!!!!" in just about every comment section - so I'll write it here.
Hey whoever manages the caption writer needs to have a conversation about that disgusting "ass and jiggle" caption
To deny science is to hinder science. Please respond to the Anti-vaxers with straight forward logic and scientific based information.
Every. Day. And they still refuse. I understand intellectually that their fear drives their denial, but I'd still like to drag each one into an autopsy of a Covid victim an dshow them what this does to *otherwise healthy people*...
Load More Replies...They have one! Here: https://www.boredpanda.com/anti-vaxxer-vaccination-funny-comebacks/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Load More Replies...To deny science is literally a punch to the face for some people who died because they didn’t have the technology we have today.
Jonas Grinevicius stop being so good with your articles.😜 You're really on fire. Very very well done.
I wanted to write "BURN!!!!" in just about every comment section - so I'll write it here.
Hey whoever manages the caption writer needs to have a conversation about that disgusting "ass and jiggle" caption