This Online Group Celebrates Sentences That Probably No One Has Ever Thought Of Before, Here Are 50 Of The Best (New Pics)
The beauty of reading is that you never know what strange word constructions your eyes might come across—it’s an exercise in expanding our imaginations. Meanwhile, the beauty of writing lies in the fact that sometimes, when you’re caught up in the flow of things, you never truly know what you’ll end up saying until you put pen to paper (or, rather, pixelated ink to word processing documents).
Any writer worth their salt knows the joy of writing something powerful, unique, and mesmerizing. However, people create new and interesting sentences all the time, whether they’re amateur writers, seasoned professionals, or hate writing altogether.
Sometimes, these new sentences appear entirely by accident. Sometimes, after someone slips the Muses a $5 bill. Don’t believe us? Well then, you’re in for a treat. Today, we’re featuring the r/BrandNewSentence subreddit, a community of nearly 1 million members, entirely dedicated to the sentence “never before written, found in the wild.” It’s a writer’s, reader’s, and language-lover’s dream subreddit.
Bored Panda reached out to Doug Murano to learn about how to write impactful sentences that jump off the page, and what mistakes new writers should avoid making. (Spoiler warning: the idea that less is more definitely still applies.) Doug is a writer, Bram Stoker Award-winning editor, and the founder of Bad Hand Books.
"A teacher of mine once told me words aren't the basic units of meaning—sentences are. So this is an important consideration," he told us. According to Doug, a lot of what makes sentences shine comes down to context and rhythm, not the "particular ingredients" of a sentence. "If you're a writer, that means vary up your sentence lengths and listen to the momentum you're creating. You can lull your reader into a groove with sentences that stretch on, describe setting, investigate a character's state of mind or follow action. Then add a punch at the end with a shorter sentence. It works."
When you’re done upvoting the most unusual and fresh sentences in this list, Bored Panda invites you to read through our first article about r/BrandNewStence. You can find it right over here. And if you can remember the most bizarre sentence you’ve ever written, dear Pandas, we’d love it if you shared it in the comment section.
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Cover Your Shoulders With Knives
Writer and editor Doug told Bored Panda that in order to get a reader's attention, a sentence doesn't necessarily have to be bizarre or unusual. However, it all depends on the context.
"Opening lines for stories or essays often benefit from a little twist because they're meant to draw a reader into the world you're creating. Then again, one of the most famous sentences in the English language is 'Jesus wept,' which is short, straightforward, and not bizarre, unusual, or even that descriptive. I'll bang this drum again: if context isn't everything, it's most of it."
Supportive Grandma
Ur Mouth Can Remember It
Doug told Bored Panda that many new writers cannot grasp the idea that they should be writing less and omitting some details. "New writers often believe more is more and, as a result, they'll start doing something I call 'tap-dancing in front of a burning building.' Essentially, this means you're drawing more attention to yourself as a writer than the picture you're trying to create because you lack restraint. Let the reader fill in some of the gaps in their own minds and resist the urge to toss descriptive and figurative language in every sentence."
Founded back in the summer of 2018, r/BrandNewSentence celebrates the idea that never before seen sentences can pop up at any time, in any place. Whatever you might think of social media, you can’t deny that it’s a goldmine of awesome content if you know where to look. And the members of r/BrandNewSentence definitely know where to look.
Naturally, the subreddit is all about uniqueness, so reposts aren’t allowed. According to the mods, in order for a sentence to qualify for being posted on the sub, it has to “never been said before,” cannot be an idiom, and has to be “humorous or confusingly worded.”
That'd Be Great
A Two Pound Meat Potato
OMG! True on every account. I can "hear" my childhood pet guinea pig; is name was Weepa as in the noise he screeched day and night.
What If I'm That One?
I was on my way to the pub and I found a street sign that had fallen off its post and thought it would look cool in my window at home, so I stuffed it in my bag with at least half of it poking out and spent the next couple of hours at the pub drinking with this thing sitting next to me on the bench. Just as I was leaving some guy sneaked up behind me and snapped a picture of the girl carrying a huge street sign around in her tiny backpack, and I just KNOW it ended up on Facebook. (I've still got the sign).
The subreddit’s moderators suggest that people check the uniqueness of a sentence by searching for it on Google (don’t forget the double quotation marks to look for exact quotes) before posting anything.
“If the results produced are many and have various apparition dates, it is most likely that the sentence is brand new. If there are many results, but all on the same day, the sentence is likely new (and therefore qualifies for this sub) but has become popular (which is OK),” they explain.
Individually Assigned Rodent Friend
Maybe each rodent has special skills like Ratatouille and is seeking its human so they can work together
“Trick Or Treatment?”
41,460 Tacos Is A Lot…
Previously, Bored Panda spoke to Dr. Lisa McLendon, from the University of Kansas, about keeping our English skills sharp and our grammar game up to par. According to her, there are some pitfalls that non-native speakers tend to fall into when learning English.
“For students whose native language lacks articles (a, an, the), articles are by far the hardest category of words to master. Verb tense/aspect is also really hard—the difference between ‘I read,’ ‘I am reading,’ and ‘I do read’ is nonexistent in many other languages,” Lisa told us. However, native speakers deal with their own linguistic challenges.
Beer Angel
Stop Judging Yourself For Not Being A Hive Insect
I know this is supposed to be a thread on weird sentences but this is also REALLY GOOD advice.
Exclusively By
In her experience as an editor, as well as a teacher, Lisa noticed that native speakers have a lot of trouble with past passive participles in speech (for example. saying ‘I had went’). When it comes to writing, they find punctuation, homophones (for instance, peek vs. peak), and misplaced modifiers challenging.
“Read! Read widely and frequently. Read magazines, newspapers, novels, even cereal boxes. But be careful when scrolling through social media, which although it can give you a good idea of current slang and shorthand, is often not a great model of clarity, accuracy, or good grammar,” the professor gave advice for anyone wanting to improve.
I Believe It
Time Pillow And Duvet Of Truth
I'm At A 70s Themed Cat Funeral
According to her, if we rely too much on spell-check and autocorrect, we can end up turning off our critical thinking skills. In short, we can forget how to think and write.
“Because spell-check and autocorrect are everywhere, what seems to be the biggest problem is words that are spelled correctly but aren’t the right word, like ‘form’ instead of ‘from,’ ‘it’s’ instead of ‘its,’ or ‘defiantly’ instead of ‘definitely.’”
The Ratio Of Dog To Boy
Or A Self-Checkout Machine
Brand New Sentence And I Don’t Think My Mans Took One Breath
The professor also suggests having someone look over your work in order to find any mistakes that you might have left behind.
“When you’ve written something, your brain already knows what you’re thinking and what you meant to say, even if you didn’t actually say it. So when you read your own writing, you unconsciously fill in missing words, skip over typos, fail to see ambiguity, etc. Another person, someone who sees only what’s on the page and not what’s in your head, can help you spot mistakes and improve your writing. This is especially important if you are carving something in stone or getting a tattoo with words in it.”
Have Fun Moving To Kansas You Tiny Idiot
A moth flew into my freezer last night when I opened the door, I got him out within 5-8 seconds but he was still and on his back. Put my fingertip gently on his legs and to his body, finger felt cold suddenly, moth woke up and flew away. TLDR: moth tried out cryogenics in my freezer, he was successful 😃
Hönkhalt
I Am Watering The Pianos
Poor Syntax Error
X Æ A-12 is going to become 2 x X Æ A-6 and thus the custody will be evenly distributed.
Cleetus Had Been Up For 3 Days Drinking Paint Tinner
Eat, Pray, Stab
Hp P*ssyjet V5000
Lies And December
Fax-Sending Samurai
Robert. E. Lee. Is. An. A*hole. Racist. Send. Him. To. Japan. The reply: Will. Do. Send. Sushi.
Raptor
Stay Hydrated!
Frenchman's Sock
Ur Not Better Than A Stegosaurus
Illegal Occupation Of November
Imagine Being Abducted By Aliens And They Give You A Gucci Belt
Anybody?
Lower Case T's Started Hurting
Coping Mechanism Police
Blaise
If she doesn't like getting shocks, she should skip Lt. Surge. She will end up Brock-en hearted
"I Guess God Does Hair"
Lip Guitar
"Releasing A Roomba Into The Greek Forums"
Missed An Opportunity There
Wondering When That Point Comes
The Pomegranate Trials
As a person with ADHD, depending on where you're at the pomegranate can be your greatest delight or worst nightmare...you know what I'm talking about...
Never Heard That One Before. Am I Wrong?
Rhombus Of Doubt
I'm Going To Eat Rocks To Find The Good Ones
Owning An Old Home
No, old is good, you just need to go older. Our place was built in the 1700s (possibly earlier, nobody's sure) and we were concerned about the ability of the attic beams to carry the workman's weight when he went up there to install loft insulation. When he came down he told us we had no problem there, they were about a foot square... Old can be gooooood.
Grape On Endangered Species List
"They Know So Much About Loafers It Ruined Their Life"
Ska In A Nutshell
Only Cowards And Fools Fear The Breast Monolith
Talk To The Lobsters
When An Explosion Explodes Hard Enough
Our brains are a cross between soggy bacon and fatty tapioka, running on low voltage electricity. Locked in a box of carbon and calsium, halucinating quietly to itself about philosophy, religion and calculus. It's not at all strange that we are weird at times.
I Think She's On To Us, Mathamachicken
It's True Though
The Shape Of Soup
Capital Numbers
They Have The Meats
Giant Unkillable Sex Wizard
Trump tried, but only got as far as overweight unimpeachable sex pest.
Sh*tting Myself And Mocking God
The Paradox Of Meat
Bot-Written Obituary
Talking To A Marshmallow Sandwich
You Are So Full Of Blood Jacob Now You're Just Being Selfish
You need to make sure you are giving blood to the right people as well. If they ask you to give blood at night in a carpark, you might have been donating to a vampire......... or a druggie that needs to pass a blood test.
I Thought He Was Always Watching. Always
I Thought A Rusty Trombone Was Something Else
The Future We Asked For
Decades Of Microplastics In Your Brain
Not Me I Like Mine Well Done
Warning: Boring, Serious Response. It's for us folk that iron things. You don't want stuff bone dry if you're going to iron it.
All Of It
I appreciate synopses of epic novels and historical events that apply the storyline to something tangible, something relatable. Like WW1 / The Great War being a bar fight among countries.
Never Thought I Would Read Something Like This..
I Want More Overgrown Ruins To Explore And If I Have To Make Them Myself Then So Be It
What Does The Pigeon Say?
This Lane Is For Crime
The Perfect Plan
Not a sustainable pricing model, this business will fold when they run out of their VC money. THEN all the paperwork gets published and you're in trouble. C- would not recommend.
Uncle/Stroke Victim Embracing The Memory Loss
There Is Only One Person In The World Who Can Prove That I'm Not A Cardinal
If I Get Trickshotted By Someone And On The Mic I Hear Oink Oink I’m Making F*cking Bacon
Gingerbread Is As Inscrutable And Fundamental As Carbon. Only We Can See The Horror
Not sure, if I lived in a house made of flesh I'd figure somehting is up.
Lettuce Pray Before We Start The Feast
Flat Bigfoot
Pterodactyl Tits
She’s Built Like A Phospholipid
Antidepressant Nerd Rope
American pharmacy companies are writing all of this down and setting a 4000% mark up on anti-depressant melatonin gummies
You Wouldn't Download A Plant
I used to laugh at those VHS video piracy ads before the movie. "YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A CAR!". Yes, I absolutely would if I could, you idiot.
"I Wish I Was A Croissant"
"You Kids Are Overeducated And Over-Gay"
Rotate A Cow
Stingray Bag
basically off topic, but i burn so easily that seeing people sitting under all that sun just out there and exposed always freaks me out a little. Like part of my brain can't accept that people do this.
I'm Free After Noon But Before Bonky
No That's Fine I Think An Element Of Danger At Brunch Is Sexy And Fun
I used to follow VampireApologist! I'm sad they deactivated their account, they were awesome.
I Prefer Shuffle
Anybody is. Especially those that reach the bottom of these BP articles.
Enough Reddit For Today
Time to quit I think and do something more rewarding, something like a BMW indicator fitter
Cursor Parking Lot
Excuse my while I add "reserved for cursor" to every Google Doc in my team folder. My presentations — in person or video conference — always include a "Parking Lot" for audience questions (so we don't forget, I can answer/call it out when appropriate in the presentations, and so the participant doesn't fixate in the question and listens better). Dorkily excited to add that reserved spot within that slide. Haha!
Regional Jimspector
Good Morning
“Tongue Kissing 4 Strangers Is Not An Immune System Flex”
I [36m] Am Polyamorous And My Partners [23f, 24f, 28f, 30f] Have Unionized
’No-Yugioh’ Holiday
Well, she wins any argument because she is wearing a Deadpool on a unicorn T-shirt
Taser Napkin
#2 was close to home. i was accompanied by my mom and grandmom when i walked out of court from divorcing my extremely abusive ex as well as successfully winning full custody of my son to whom he has been abusive to as well. he was so bad the judge ordered one of the baliffs to escort us to my car. once in, my gram pulled out her luger pistol from her purse. shocked, i asked her what that was for. her: i'm 70 yrs old. lived a good life. i could use housing, food, medical for life if he would have gotten [my son]. and, when i die i don't think i would be kicked out of heaven for taking that s****. out for what he has done. gram was the unknown family gangster and badass
Go gran! Hope you and your son are better now, that would've been so hard to go through
Load More Replies...I'm bored panda reading REDDIT here. I can go to REDDIT to do that.
But then you need to read the 100s of unfunny posts and comments too. Here you only get the best stuff. Or so they say.
Load More Replies...Has anyone else here thought of how many photos they were in the background of?
I went on a school camp in year 11, then at the start of the next year I met someone else who had been on the camp and I hadn't known him then. I had someone describe a thing that happened on the camp that we were both involved in, but I still didn't recognize him. I went back to look at photos from the trip, but couldn't find him. There were another 50 or so on the trip, most of whom I didn't know, so I know there were probably others in those photos I just wouldn't recognize too. I am probably in someone else's photo from that camp too.
Load More Replies...#2 was close to home. i was accompanied by my mom and grandmom when i walked out of court from divorcing my extremely abusive ex as well as successfully winning full custody of my son to whom he has been abusive to as well. he was so bad the judge ordered one of the baliffs to escort us to my car. once in, my gram pulled out her luger pistol from her purse. shocked, i asked her what that was for. her: i'm 70 yrs old. lived a good life. i could use housing, food, medical for life if he would have gotten [my son]. and, when i die i don't think i would be kicked out of heaven for taking that s****. out for what he has done. gram was the unknown family gangster and badass
Go gran! Hope you and your son are better now, that would've been so hard to go through
Load More Replies...I'm bored panda reading REDDIT here. I can go to REDDIT to do that.
But then you need to read the 100s of unfunny posts and comments too. Here you only get the best stuff. Or so they say.
Load More Replies...Has anyone else here thought of how many photos they were in the background of?
I went on a school camp in year 11, then at the start of the next year I met someone else who had been on the camp and I hadn't known him then. I had someone describe a thing that happened on the camp that we were both involved in, but I still didn't recognize him. I went back to look at photos from the trip, but couldn't find him. There were another 50 or so on the trip, most of whom I didn't know, so I know there were probably others in those photos I just wouldn't recognize too. I am probably in someone else's photo from that camp too.
Load More Replies...