We’re always told by kind and caring teachers that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” And while this sentiment can be helpful in classrooms to ensure students feel safe, there comes a point in our lives where we learn that there actually are dumb questions. And we should probably keep them between us and Google…
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard people say, and boy, did they deliver. From ignorant assumptions about history to blatant medical misinformation, there’s no end to what people will say stupid things about. Enjoy scrolling through these replies that might make you feel like a genius, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you facepalm!
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That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."
I guess pigs really do fly in their world.
"My chiropractor can cure autism with his bare hands and some essential oils." Too bad her chiropractor couldn't cure stupid.
This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta.
Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks.
Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?
Him : Mac and Cheese.
Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?
Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese.
I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school.
Dumb, but I can understand the pack saying 60 seconds, and I can understand that some microwaves will let you enter 60 seconds, or 1 minute. The one that knows it is a minute is being more efficient in the number of buttons they have to press. Not knowing that 1 minute is the same as 60 seconds though....
I was talking with a man from Pakistan and he asked me what my core beliefs were. I said my core beliefs were rooted in science and he responded with ‘OH SCIENCE, so all you care about is plastic surgery boob jobs.’ He took the entire field of science and labeled it as ‘boob jobs’.
Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver,
"Do y'all take American Dollars?"
The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said,
"You're in America."
Years ago, I lived in Hawaii and when I moved back to the mainland, it took me a couple of months to get the plates on my car changed to the state I had moved too. More than once, people would see my Hawaii license plates on my car and ask me how I got the car to the mainland, to which I'd explain that I'd taken the toll bridge, and that it was a b*****h to do because it took 8 hours, there's a toll booth every 30 miles that required exact change, and only 2 rest stops along the way. The looks on their faces was priceless! (of course, I had the car shipped, but that's not a fun story, is it?)
“How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”
*a new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work*
"How long do we get off for spring break?"
Someone in our group lost a flip flop in a river, we watched it float down stream.
Another person in our group said to be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and come back.
"Salmonella is only caused by salmon. You're a chef you should know that"
Campylobacter is caused by tents. Listeria is caused by people making lists or leaning sideways.Norovirus is caused by people in boats not rowing.
I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium
To be honest: when you see pictures of seahorses, there's never a banana for scale
"I'm allergic to oxygen."
I asked if they meant to say 'oxycodone' and they insisted, no, they were allergic to oxygen.
When I was working a customer service job a lady was verifying her serial number and said Z as in xylophone. My brain literally shut off for about 10 seconds.
“Well she never got pregnant before” after his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.
"Its forbidden to smoke indoors now, but immigrants are allowed to live!"
She was dead serious.
I am hardly ever speechless, but that was one of these rare occasions.
A manager at my old job thought Alaska was an island next to Hawaii, because that's what it looks like on a map.
Also asked me one day if you could get an std from breathing the same air as someone with an std.
There were more but I can't remember the rest.
And this person was in charge...
These fireworks are wet. I'm gonna dry them off in the microwave.
“I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.”
He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.
“What year did this happen?”
We were watching the Lord of the Rings
If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out.
I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.
I didn't take the promotion, because I would be paying too much in taxes.
You will still end up with a better paycheck, and if you live outside of the US you will also get something in return for those taxes, Others will to.
“People in England knew about the Queen’s passing before we did (Americans) because of the time difference!”
Meaning that because of the time difference, English people are somehow 6-8 hours AHEAD in the future??
I always make that joke, and thinking about time is a brain f**k. Once you realize that we're all living on this big rock and that everyone's position in relation to the sun is just that, the where you are. And Earth isn't a time machine. I actually confused myself thinking about it.
Years ago, I found myself watching MTV “Street Smarts” with a man I had recently met. The question asked on the show was to put these events in chronological order from oldest to most recent, the events were: Civil War, Man on the Moon, Ice Age. I laughed, I joked what a ridiculous question it was, he didn’t seem the least amused, so I asked him, you know this, right? He replied, “I’m not good with dates”
I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue
I dated a girl who thought “the hole in the ozone layer are where the space shuttle come through to land.”
"Am I going to be accountable for everything I say?!"
-Overheard my old boss berating the rest of the staff in a shop I used to work at
Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA) who thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.
“Anyone else not able to sleep at night? Yeah, I don’t think I’m turnal” took me a few to realize she thought the term was “not turnal”
I like going to the toilet at dawn because I'm cräp-uscular.
Somewhat recently a girl told me me there is a conspiracy between big milk and big electric in the united states. That you don't actually have to refrigerate milk but they tell us we have to so they can make more money on electric bills.
I tried to explain what pasteurization was, but goddamn its disturbing that she was just like “yehp this makes the most sense”
Hmmm.... Got a couple from my days working in tourism in Hawaii. One of my favorites was "what's the difference between your mushroom and Swiss burger and your bacon guacamole burger? ". Next one, for context for those that don't know Maui, you can see two different islands from multiple vantage points on the island. Anyway, we had stopped at a lookout for some tourists to take a picture and a guy being completely serious asked, "So which one is Japan?". I was like, Japan is about 3k miles to the northwest. If you can see it, you have superpowers, sir.
I was talking to a patient and I asked them which arm was injured.
They said “my left your right”
I was talking to them on the phone.
One time a new patient had to fill out a packet of his demographics/medical history ect. in the section for what form of protection he uses, he wrote down, ugly
When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…
I might understand this as in are there other differences than that. Like is the iced product the same stuff as the hot stuff, but just with ice (and obviously not hot). (I don't go to coffee shops and don't get the idea of adding ice to coffee, I think it would be gross) :D
I once heard someone say they believe the old lady from the Titanic movie is an actual titanic survivor. When I told them she's an actress, they tried to call me bluff
That 16 year olds should be allowed to drink and drive.
They spent at least 10 minutes trying to legitimately defend this point to a room of adults.
The individual making the point was in her late 20s
"nobody knows who the second man on the moon was"
That was a sales manager giving one of those motivational speeches to his entire team.
The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!
You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.
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It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.
The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.
Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.
A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".
I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳
Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.
I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄
Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.
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I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.
Load More Replies... I sneezed, after mentioning I'm austrian. "Gesundheit!" Added as a response to my impressed look (cause knowing austrians speak german and casually throwing in german) "Yeah, I speak asian". ASIAN!
Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"
If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just type this emoji😂? This is an actual question I'm not trying to be rude
Load More Replies... The worry is that some of these people are in a position of power, the educational system has a lot left to be desired and WTF is wrong with these people, is sense a thing of the past!!!
You can't talk of "the educational system" because it's different in every country. In some countries, children only get minimal schooling, and sometimes not even on the American language! Common sense has never been common.
Load More Replies... It's depressing that examples of human stupidity no longer surprise me. They worry me...but they don't surprise me.
The good news is that I no longer feel dumb. The bad news is that I had an aneurysm reading these stories.
Things like these make me feel better about my own intelligence.
A guy I worked with last year, young, in his early 20s, and he was adamant that "the Jews invented taxes".
I work in an audiology clinic. We sell hearing aids. A client once asked me what the difference was between the battery operated and the rechargeable hearing aids. 😳
Thanks BP for finding such real examples of dumb. Only one wasn't dumb (it was deliberately stated ambiguously) and only one was due to a common temporary brain malfunction.
I work as a shipping clerk one of the rules is you must get a copy of every drivers license, or photo ID. Had a driver come in one day & flat out refused to let me make a copy of his license, so I had to get my manager involved (no ID no load). He argued with my manager saying we were going to steal his identity. Finally he handed over his military ID (retired). I looked at it and said "sir this has your social security number on it." He then said in all seriousness "if you were steal my identity from my military ID then it would be a federal crime." 🙄
Federal law prohibits unauthorized copying of the military ID. He should know that.
Load More Replies... I think not. Well, I am, but that's a different matter.
Load More Replies... I sneezed, after mentioning I'm austrian. "Gesundheit!" Added as a response to my impressed look (cause knowing austrians speak german and casually throwing in german) "Yeah, I speak asian". ASIAN!
Three women are sitting in an OB office. One says "I was on top so I'm having a boy" Next one says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl" Last one starts sobbing uncontrollably "I...I'm.....having puppies!"
If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just type this emoji😂? This is an actual question I'm not trying to be rude
Load More Replies...