30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating

In dating, like in friendship, one cannot know another person after just meeting them; however, certain things may stand out, minimizing or even sweeping one's interest. This may happen more intuitively, yet by trying to name red flags in dating, one gets the opportunity to grow more conscious of what they (do not) value in another person or people in general and maybe even adjust their preferences.

On the other hand, reading about major flags in dating as listed by men answering one Redditor’s question: “Men, what is a deal-breaker for you in modern dating?” one may compare them to one’s own deal-breakers, get a clue of what other people are (not) looking for in dating and maybe find some things to look out for.

More info: Reddit

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Any kind of ultimatum, like: "It's me or your cats/friends/hobbies." They were here before you, and they will be here after you.

scoyne15 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

144points

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Charlie the Cat 10 months ago

Bye then. The cat always comes 1st.

101points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If my date is rude to anyone in the service industry, there won't be another date. That s**t tells me exactly who you are.

Stack_of_HighSociety , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

143points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

“I don’t trust anyone who’s nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position.” - Muhammad Ali

75points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating General punctuality, though this is a state with friends too.

If you're going to be late, let me know when you know. If you live 30 minutes away and text me you are leaving 5 minutes before we are due to meet, you knew you were going to be late 25 minutes ago.

It's a small thing but I've known people like that and I've waited in the cold enough.

TabularConferta , Ono Kosuki Report

Final score:

113points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

To me, lack of punctuality means lack of respect. I'm had two relationships and several friendships hit the the rocks because of this. It's my biggest peeve.

51points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Someone who brings nothing to the table except deigning to allow me the opportunity to treat her like a queen.

Sorry, I'd rather stay single than deal with that s**t...

anon_e_mous9669 , Fati m Report

Final score:

97points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago

If she expects to be treated like a queen, tell her you're French.

44points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Lack of empathy/ compassion

EmperorKira , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

96points

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tw 72 10 months ago

People think a person can "learn" to be compassionate. No, no they can't. The selfishness is too deep.

15points

Mimi M 10 months ago

I disagree. Compassion can be learned. This is because compassion is essentially an action or set of actions, it's not an emotion.

13points

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John Harrison 10 months ago

Everyone has to learn compassion — we are all born selfish. That's why children act like they do. Ideally, it's taught/learned in childhood, so a person should be compassionate by dating age. But it's still possible to learn / continue to learn compassion later in life.

9points

RedPepper 10 months ago

Some people lack empathy/compassion because they believe in the "just-world fallacy". They geninely think that "people get what they deserve". And sometimes life teaches them otherwise...

4points

Daniel Sullivan 10 months ago

They can and do, but only when they want to, and that's rare. I know because I am learning.

0points

Moni Teo 10 months ago

Nah, I know people who are not empathetic, yet still behave like decent human beings.

3points

Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

This one's pretty obvious.

2points

it's me again 10 months ago

It's not necessarily "selfishness" introverts have a hard time expressing their feelings openly

1point

Becky Samuel 10 months ago

A lot of autistic people struggle to understand empathy, that doesn't make us bad people.

1point

xaspsx 10 months ago

It's a misconception that all or even the majority of autistic people are like that. Plenty of autistic people are hyperempathetic. We are not all the same.

4points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago

Don't mistake being introverted for lack of feeling.

1point

deanna woods 10 months ago

This is a big one for me too.

1point

D. Pitbull 10 months ago

Some eedjit I know/knew was trying to convince me that someone can be a good person evin if they don't have a conscience, empathy or if they do the 'right' thing for totally the wrong reasons. Person has been severely demoted in terms of how much I talk to them....

0points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Dishonesty is my main one. If you can't trust them, then there's no reason to even date them because you're always going to worry about what they're doing when they're not with you.

uh_big_tidd_eeho , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

91points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

A red flag under any circumstances.

30points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she's an influencer or has plans to become an influencer.

EshoWarCry , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:

90points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago (edited)

In my world, influencer isn't a real thing. So any relationship would be very..... entertaining.

20points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Having a sugar baby or entitled mentality. Or if I see the line " can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve the best".

letslytherin , EVG Kowalievska Report

Final score:

86points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago (edited)

I love the irony of the woman in the picture leaning up against a Lada. She's likely okay with a scuralose daddy.

24points

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30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Social media. I don't want every waking moment of my relationship plastered on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I dated one girl for a year who didn't have a smartphone, didn't have internet at her house, and didn't even own a TV. It was surprisingly nice. Honest. When we spent time together, we spent our time together.

7evenCircles , Plann Report

Final score:

85points

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Shanaaia 10 months ago

GREAT

12points

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#10

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating For me, when I was dating, it was women who didn't know how to cook or clean. That may seem a bit misogynistic, but I am someone who cooks and cleans and can keep a house. The number of people I would go on dates with that didn't have those skills was a bit baffling to me. How do you feed yourself? Is it takeout every night? I wouldn't expect a potential partner to be unable to do household things that I do, nor one that was unwilling to share the burden of keeping a place together.

monspubisremor , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

83points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

Fair enough. It should be a two way street. Especially in the 21st century.

78points

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#11

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Screen addiction is a turn off.

pythonwarg , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:

79points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago (edited)

I nod my head in agreement as my eyes stay glued to the screen.

29points

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#12

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating I have had a few women I met online start talking about how supportive I can be for their children before I even met them. Like if you just shopping for a replacement for their non-existant Dad I am out.

ToastyMcBread , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

77points

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Rocky Wheelwright 10 months ago

This is very common. A woman looking for someone to financially support her and her children.

5points

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#13

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Inability to say sorry or own up to their mistakes.

Flakyness.

Being overly dramatic and loud.

SmittyBot9000 , Craig Adderley Report

Final score:

76points

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Bobby 10 months ago

I hate not owning your mistakes. I've told my kids plenty of times if there is a "but" in your apology then to me it isn't genuine. Everything after the but is saying why it's not really got fault

2points

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#14

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating This sounds dumb, but if she's not into me, I'm not interested. If she plays hard to get, I'm done. I'm not playing the games anymore. You'd be surprised how often a women has SAID she was into me, but won't do anything at all to act like she is.

Azurealy , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

71points

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deanna woods 10 months ago

Hard to get is the stupidest dating game ever and I'm a woman.

74points

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#15

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Very religious. Poly (just not for me). Lack of communication.

pkwilli , Ben White Report

Final score:

63points

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DaPandaMan 10 months ago

I say they can be religious but if it’s basically brainwashing them then hard no.

12points

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#16

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Someone with no hobbies or no passion for anything at all

arathci18 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

61points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago

They may have hobbies and passions they don't want you to know about. (And chances are neither do you).

9points

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#17

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Honestly, anything to the effect of "men are trash" or "I hate that I'm attracted to men" in their dating profile.

Like, I get it. A lot of women have had a lot of really bad experiences with men. And at the same time, I'm not here to fix anyone and I really hate being treated like "one of the good ones." If you really hate men to the extent that you need to declare it on your dating profile, you should probably be working that out with a therapist.

MonitorMoniker , Tim Mossholder Report

Final score:

57points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

Stating they hate men on their (presumably hetro) dating profile. Really?

27points

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#18

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Inability to acknowledge being wrong. Being able to do that and grow with me as an individual was literally one of the biggest things that led to me falling in love with my current gf. I will never again EVER be in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t have that quality because seeing how much better this relationship has been than any of my previous, I just can’t ever go back.

Nalpha , Vera Arsic Report

Final score:

53points

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Chez2202 10 months ago

I totally agree with the comment about the inability to acknowledge being wrong. What I don’t get is that they then say that being able to grow with them as an individual led them to falling in love with their current girlfriend but then talk about their future relationships. The inability to be wrong may be a sticking point for OP but the fact that they still see no future with the woman they claim to love should be a big red flag for her.

11points

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#19

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Flakyness. If they keep canceling plans, I'm out.

bluegiant85 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

53points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

If they keep cancelling plans, the next question is, what's actually going on that you don't know about?

13points

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#20

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Height preferences on dating profiles/bios. It's just rude. I cant help being 5 7, I have been this height for ages. I get preferences and stuff, but seeing 'if you're under 6 foot don't bother' on the reg is a bit of a downer.

Also, horses. I went out with a horse-y girl, and it was a car crash, I don't blame the actual horses, but horses make girls get a bit weird. If you know you know.

MobyMarlboro , Pixabay Report

Final score:

51points

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Donald 10 months ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed equestrians are an odd lot.

30points

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#21

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Anything along the lines of “being a boss babe” and “you better keep up with me”

Ugh

PCLoadLetter84 , Nicolas Postiglioni Report

Final score:

47points

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Rocky Wheelwright 10 months ago

This “boss babe” vibe going around is obnoxious and desperate.

24points

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#22

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Lack of communication skills! I need engaging conversation! I don't want to talk to a wall😅

Jlmorgan86 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

43points

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Erca 10 months ago

Communication or conversation? There should be comment tools or links for words like this so each person can specifically define how they interpret it. This person says communication is conversation and that's fair. Some see it as psychic abilities. Some say it's knowing when to speak... not sure the latter applies to me, but you get the point. Words like "communication" and "drama" are too vague.

8points

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#23

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she’d leave me for behaving like her.

That covers most of them.

hshsgdve , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

42points

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setsuriseikou 10 months ago

Also works the other way round!

9points

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#24

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she’s rude or mean.

Bobpaulson1999 , Israelzin Oliveira Report

Final score:

41points

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JB 10 months ago

Had an interesting conversation with a fellow British expat the other day. We both acknowledged that North Americans are often baffled by our tendency to be “rude” to people we like but flawlessly polite to those we don’t. So, if you are from North America and your prospective squeeze is a Brit, don’t assume that them calling you a “bat faced twit” is anything other than an endearment.

30points

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#25

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Not understanding or working toward improving their own mental health.

Potential_Departure6 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

40points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

Assuming that they're in a position to acknowledge, and work on, their problems.

20points

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#26

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating I like to be a gentleman, but I want that to be something that is appreciated, not expected or demanded

Th3_S3n4t3 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

40points

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Lori Simpson 10 months ago

Um, what exactly does OP qualify as the traits of a gentleman? I've raised two young men to be gentleman and it's absolutely expected.

33points

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#27

Not having any goals other than having fun. My ex just lived to "go out" every night with her friends. No future there, and an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (and her ex boyfriend after a few drinks one night). That was a clusterf**k of chaos that I'm glad to be free from.

pdxsaucy Report

Final score:

35points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

Ex boyfriend. Oops!

5points

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#28

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Smoking and lack of accountability and inability to learn from mistakes.

Unstoppable1994 , Kaboompics .com Report

Final score:

31points

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Anyone-for-tea? 10 months ago

It’s always gutting when you think you’ve found a good match but then you see they’re a smoker.

1point

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#29

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Inconsistent communication style, just feels like I’m being strung along. Also don’t date single-mothers, I’m sure they’re nice and the kids are great but I’m just not in a place in my life where I’m comfortable with that kind of situation.

sexisdivine , Alan Quirvan Report

Final score:

25points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

I can't unpick what inconsistent communication style means. But on the subject of single mothers. If the person I'm in love with has kids, so be it. They're part of the package.

25points

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#30

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Wanting to continue living as though they're single but still have the emotional fulfillment of a relationship.

TheRealRickSorkin , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

18points

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CF 10 months ago

Wait. What is wrong with wanting to have emotional fulfillment and still live single? In my middle age life, I'd love to meet "that person" that I enjoy so much that I want to be with them all the time. If I do, there are many reasons I will likely want to remain living single. Though for me, that simply means living alone and making my own life decisions (no one will EVER again tell me I can't foster this or that cat, or bring home a sick cat patient for overnight critical care, or even adopt all those cats if I want to. Unless that person lives with me. And that won't be happening). Have just realized OP probably is talking about sex, etc, but I've already typed this so I'm posting it anyway. 😁

21points

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#31

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Distant personality, that s**t can take a lot out of me

Jerney_to_Nirvana , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

14points

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Michael Largey 10 months ago (edited)

Yes, but don't mistake introverted for distant. And while we're on the subject, people can have a right to have their distances respected.

7points

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#32

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Doomerism. if you unironically say "my retirement plan is death, spend it today" you're too mixed up for me.

sporks_and_forks , Engin Akyurt Report

Final score:

14points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

Doomerism? This is a new one on me. I think we used to call it cynicism.

10points

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#33

Having an onlyfans

manowar09 Report

Final score:

13points

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Sean Sean 10 months ago

I don't think having an Onlyfan's account is a bad thing, since it can be tough to make decent money these days, and it's only getting more expensive. I'd say it depends on "what" she's doing in those videos that might be the deal-breaker.

2points

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#34

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Right now, I'd say a kid. Nothing against having them and I'd like some of my own some day, I'm just not ready to be a step-dad

JackJackensworth , Tuan PM Report

Final score:

12points

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Hey! 10 months ago

It is not for everyone but sometimes people don't know right away that the other persona has a kid or two.

1point

#35

There are increasing numbers of women who are not looking to get married, ever, and/or are looking for multiple partners in an "ethically non monogamous" arrangement. That's not for me.

Anonymous Report

Final score:

12points

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Hippopotamuses 10 months ago

Sort of like what some men have been doing since the dawn of time?

18points

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#36

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she eats her peas one at a time

02K30C1 , Avyansh Mittal Report

Final score:

3points

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Mrs. EW 10 months ago

What if she doesn’t eat peas, at all?

2points

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What do you think ?

El Dee 10 months ago

I am pleasantly surprised by these. The majority are the kind of things that could go both ways of course but it seems like men are a bit more mature in their relationships than they used to be. ie I'm not seeing anything shallow like about looks..

ConstantlyJon 10 months ago

My biggest red flag when dating is if the woman isn't my wife. Really hate dating anyone that's not already my wife. 100% of the time will not date you if you're not my bride.

Papa 10 months ago

If I joke about getting a girlfriend my wife's usual response is "Make sure she can cook and clean so I won't have to."

Mimi M 10 months ago (edited)

Everyone is entitled to their preferences. Mine? Intelligence, good character, mutual attraction. Dat's it!

6points

Caro Caro 10 months ago

Sense of humor, willing to listen, gentle.

Sven Petersson 10 months ago

Why are there so many comments that are downright misandrist? If someone had written similar (but genderswapped) comments on a thread about what women don't like in men, there would have a storm of outrage.

Lauren Caswell 10 months ago

Well, yes you are right. I've seen those lists and what happens is men comment "not all men" or "women do it too", then get ripped apart in the comments because its distracting back to their own gender. I didn't read much yet (I'll re-read later) but if there are those kinds of comments happening here from women, then I think that should be seen as just as problematic as when men say "not all men". "Not all women" is not helpful here or at all.

Caramello 10 months ago

Maybe when we create posts like these, we just need to publish both sides simultaneously: "Deal Breakers for Men" and "Deal Breakers for Women". So many comments turning it around on men when this is a post from the man's perspective. I would say that would be my deal breaker: making every hardship I share about how hard it is on her instead.

Dan St John 10 months ago

Relationships are hard. They take work and we have become a disposable society, where it is easier to leave, than work to fix them. My wife and I have been together for over 40 years and not everyone of them was a piece of cake, but we worked hard on it and today, I think we are more in love, than when we first got married. Communication and trust seem to be the lynch pins to a good relationship.

Kevin J. Henning 10 months ago

This kind of behavior is pitiful no matter what sex type.

Aaron Parker 10 months ago

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Brendan 10 months ago

I know, right? How dare she fart, burp, produce blood cells, strengthen her immune system, or (god forbid) breath. Natural bodily functions or a big no-no.

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating

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