Some things we just cannot forget. Like harsh words from the people we want to impress most—our parents.

On May 3rd, assistant professor at Stockton University Emily Van Duyne tweeted a question: "Does anyone else ever remember a cruel thing your parent said to you [and] it takes the wind out of you? Even if it was almost ten years ago?" Turns out, they do.

Emily's tweet has received over 200,000 likes and plenty of comments where people revealed their parents' mean phrases that will probably stick with them for life, and the thread has become like a giant online mental health session.

"I want you all to know I am sorting through and reading and thinking of and trying to respond individually to each of these stories," Van Duyne wrote as the responses kept pouring in. "I'm making pasta and reminding myself to be tender with my kids and tender with myself, as much as humanly possible, always. Please do the same."

Continue scrolling and check out some of our hand-picked confessions. Sometimes, seeing other people vulnerable is all you need to uncover and deal with your own crap.

#1

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

BrainRockets Report

Dash Blue
Community Member
1 month ago

I hope that you shove your success in your fathers face, and never let him meet his grandchildren. Okay. A bit harsh.

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#2

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Plumpdn Report

Nice cuppa tea
Community Member
1 month ago

Omg that is seriously twisted. Your mother is a sick woman

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#3

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Vivien_Jackson Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

How often have people said: You could be so pretty if you just lost the weight.

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According to Jessie-Anne Bird, a psychologist from Johannesburg, South Africa, we can be deeply wounded by the words of others. "If we are not careful, we can react in a way that may escalate things unnecessarily," Bird told Bored Panda.

Instead, the psychologist suggested we use the STOP technique, and it looks like this:

S: Stop. Wait before you react.

T: Take a step back - give yourself some time and space from the situation.

O: Observe what's going on inside and outside. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, think about how they may be impacting your decision-making.

P: Proceed mindfully - once you have an understanding of what is happening, and have thought through your options - then you will be in a position to make a choice about how to respond or react.

#4

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

nada_lemming Report

crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
1 month ago

yes. the opp happened to me though. dad was sick for years (cancer). did everything I could and I couldn't. dropped out of a Ph.D. program to get a stable job to support his treatment and family costs. waited for years to hear him say for once that he was proud of me. never said anything...now it's too late. sometimes I wonder if I would view my life and career choices differently had he been actually proud of me, or if he cared.

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#5

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

PurpleTurtleWat Report

crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
1 month ago

hey. u r beautiful. words can b harsh, but they can never strip u off ur beauty. glad u have found a good therapist. hope u continue to see the beauty of life and ur beauty too

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#6

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

MichelleEgan84 Report

Nice cuppa tea
Community Member
1 month ago

God he is a sociopath. Hope you distanced yourself from him

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Experts associate parent-child connectedness with a wide range of health indicators. Close, positive family relationships that feature open communication help young people stay healthy and avoid substance use and violent behavior.

"We tend to use the perceptions of others to inform our self-view, and we might place more importance on the feedback we receive from those we value," Bird said. "When we hear hurtful things from those we love or esteem - they may hurt more because we are more likely to believe them."

#7

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

maximiliidae Report

Black Pug Puppy
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Your parents didn't deserve you

TheCatasaurusMeowMom
Community Member
1 month ago

No s**t! I am SO sorry that this happened to you! <3

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Dylan_Is_Gay
Community Member
1 month ago

This isn't bad parenting. This isn't even parenting. This is mental abuse from a baby in an adults body. This thing doesn't deserve you. That's a f*****g bastard. Conditional love isn't love.

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Being yourself sometimes alienates others. I'm sorry that you had to experience all that negativity. I hope that you have found a new family (however you want to define it) that loves and accepts you.

Carol Emory
Community Member
1 month ago

The sad part is, if you had called CPS back in 2015, chances are, your Dad would have been charged with child abandonment and/or child abuse. I have always wanted to have a large house with lots of rooms to take in the kids that parents like these toss out. These parents have no idea what wonderful things these kids can accomplish and what amazing people they are. They really miss out.

Alma Mater
Community Member
1 month ago

i'm a dad myself. i feel really sad for you. i hope you're ok now and built yourself a whole new family

Watching
Community Member
1 month ago

You're making me cry. I am so so sorry.

Bored Broad
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm howling for this person too :(

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crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
1 month ago

i'm so sorry this happened to u. i hope u go ahead and make tons of new memories, friends and click awesome photos. no one should b punished for their sexuality or gender identity. ❤️

Kat
Community Member
1 month ago

A parent should love their children unconditionally. I would never do that to my own child.

StrawberryParfait
Community Member
1 month ago

What kind of parent stops loving their child for being gay? Sexual orientation is not a choice.

FatRabbit
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm so sorry. I couldn't imagine treating my children like this. My heart breaks for you.

Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
1 month ago

Nothing like “christians” forgetting the golden rule.

StrawberryParfait
Community Member
1 month ago

There is nothing Christ-like about this.

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deanna woods
Community Member
1 month ago

Your dad is a prick and if he comes around your house you need to call the cops on him.

Patti Vance
Community Member
1 month ago

i will NEVER understand how a parent can love you one moment & then once a kid tells them he/she is gay, that love goes...where?! will never get it. when my high school son defensively told me his prom date was black, expecting me to object. my response: well, i'm jewish so i hope she won't hold it against me. when my grandson came out to me, told him that i still expected him to do his chores, homework, etc. as that doesn't impede his ability to anything. so, one grandchild is biracial; one is gay. don't care, never will. but, will love them forever.

JE Cummings
Community Member
1 month ago

I wish I could give you the family you deserve.

Ambar
Community Member
1 month ago

if your parents don't want you for something that is out of their control, they don't deserve you

Kimberly Pilkington
Community Member
1 month ago

Yup. When my father remarried, I was in my first year of college and Upon returning home, he had sold or thrown away ALL of my belongings. ALL. OF. THEM!! I had no childhood memorabilia, no books my grandmother bought me, no clothing, no albums/cassettes/CDs, letter from old friends, no high school yearbooks and none of my photo albums. I was gutted. I felt like I had been erased. I so get what you are saying.

CARMEN FLORES
Community Member
1 month ago

I pray you are better today. I am a 74 year old lady and could write a book about my childhood. I have been affected by it til this day.

Katharine Lancaster
Community Member
1 month ago

Any parent who does this kind of thing was never a parent to begin with. No parent ever makes their child hurt for something that the child has no control over. A real parent will always love and support their child, no matter what! Just ask my dad. He doesn’t agree with my daughter for moving in with her boyfriend before they’re married. What does he say to them about it? That he’s happy they’re in love. He doesn’t agree with my son for being FTM transgender and dating another boy (FTM transgender). What does he say/do about it? He welcomes them with open arms and loves them no matter what.

Beth Arriaga
Community Member
1 month ago

Why is this not illegal?? Parents have a legal obligation to support -clothe, feed, provide shelter- all children until minimally 19 years of age. This is awful

JessRS
Community Member
1 month ago

All children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children.

J.Norton
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh, sweetheart...................I am so terribly sorry this happened to you, if you were *my* child, I would have gathered you up and snuggled away all the hurt & tears.

sam puckett
Community Member
1 month ago

Step foot in the house. The only person that might get arrested is your dad

Alex
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I hope karma comes and bites your parents in their homophobic @$$, that is terrible. Nobody deserves that.

Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
3 weeks ago

*grabs glitter gun* i'm coming for you, bitches. try getting this s**t out of your clothes

Kim Lorton
Community Member
4 weeks ago

He is an abusive man. You matter and his asshole opinions, don't!

JonaLou2U
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I am so very sorry you were raised in such a hateful environment. Turn their ugliness into fuel that powers your COURAGE to save the next kid who hears such horrible, hateful words. In helping them, I hope you find peace and healing.

Vernice Aure
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I grew up in an abusive family. One afternoon, after working in the garden all day, my mother turned to me and said that if I ever ran away, don't bother coming back.

Marilyn Ransberry
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Ignorance about homosexuality has created hate fear and rejection. Could you reach out to other relatives and friends of neighbours to ask if anyone had pictures of you? Thinking of birthday parties, cousins ' sports teams , family gatherings etc.

Paizleypie
Community Member
1 month ago

His loss.

Elizabeth Calvert
Community Member
1 month ago

I send mom hugs (but only if you want them as I respect your personal space). I'm so sorry that you went through that. But you are loved ❤️

Thomas Turnbull
Community Member
1 month ago

Things will get better for you I promise just hang in there. There is someone out there that will love you.

Lary Crews
Community Member
1 month ago

My grandmother said I was a "bastard child" because my mom didn't marry my dad who had his own family. That caused me to feel like a second-class citizen my whole life.

Drive Bee
Community Member
1 month ago

It's their loss.

Mónica Elisabeth Sacco
Community Member
1 month ago

Lousy people. Don't deserve Your grief.

I Just Changed My Name
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe it's time to get back into poetry and photography. They didn't deserve you and shouldn't have the power to take your passions away from you.

Christy Smith
Community Member
1 month ago

I don't understand so called Christians & their ridiculous homosexuality views. ALL mammals have homosexual partners thrown in. The Bible doesn't condemn it, get your head out of your asses you pretend Christians ... http://religiousinstitute.org/denom_statements/homosexuality-not-a-sin-not-a-sickness-part-ii-what-the-bible-does-and-does-not-say/

Gina
Community Member
1 month ago

I was relieved when my daughter said she was dating a girl. No pregnancy! It's a bit less stress

Leslie Burleson
Community Member
1 month ago

Make new memories to replace that bullshit . Don't let anyone's ignorance Mark one more negative day in your life. You deserve better . Sometimes we have to make new family out of genuine people who love you without conditions

Bored Broad
Community Member
1 month ago

Death to Homophobes

VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
Community Member
1 month ago

F your parents

Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 month ago

There are parents of goddamn serial killers who are more loving toward their offspring than this. Absolutely sickening that anyone would act this way. :(

Deborah Moran
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm sorry you had to live with that & hope you have found love & a big family of friends with whom to make new memories. Best wishes to you.

Auntriarch
Community Member
1 month ago

Start again my dear, you deserve nothing less

Hollysmom
Community Member
1 month ago

Not that you would have wanted to stay there but, at least in the US, that was illegal as you were a minor. I am so happy for this horrible treatment.

John Bell
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe its cause I'm autistic but if my kid was gay it wouldn't change how I feel about her at all.

Auntriarch
Community Member
1 month ago

No, you're just a decent person

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jevais
Community Member
1 month ago

Your parents are not worth the time of the day. May you find friends who will love and respect you. Don't allow anybody to take over your life. Beware of toxic people such as your parents, run if you find such a person close to you. You are strong and be proud of yourself. One does not choose their sexuel orinatation.

Everything_Fubar
Community Member
1 month ago

Lmao queer moment

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#8

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

fmnsthist89 Report

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

It's never too late

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#9

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

taylor_revert Report

Nice cuppa tea
Community Member
1 month ago

That is abuse, poor girl

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Imi Lo, a psychotherapist, art therapist, and consultant for emotionally intense and highly sensitive people, thinks the relationship between a child and a parent is one of the most instinctively protective, loving, and nurturing things humans experience. So when such a connection is clouded with feelings of deep hurt and resentment, these negative emotions can follow people beyond childhood and adolescence into adulthood.

"At the end of the day, you want to be able to cross over the bridge of resentment and move to a place of peace," Lo wrote in Psychology Today. "But however cliche this sounds, you need first to love yourself, embracing both the good and the bad, your ability to love, and your rage towards others. You must forgive yourself for your inability to forgive. You are a survivor for being here today. You deserve to live without emotional baggage."

If what you do grows into a deep sense of love for your parents, then the journey would have been worth it. If not, at least you know that you tried, and you will have no regrets.

#10

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

WordPerv Report

Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow, brutal

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#11

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

thatskyfii Report

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

Which means sadly you were :(

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#12

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

K00KIED0UGH Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Have you noticed how parents will utter any stupidity because they can't manage their own stress and will take it out on their children because no one else is around to hear them rant?

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#13

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

_FandomNeeds_ Report

Pusfarm
Community Member
1 month ago

These are not parents, they're terrorists.

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#14

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

JellyfishSando Report

Prilsy
Community Member
1 month ago

That's gaslighting and my father did it all the time to me. Still does and I'm almost 50.

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#15

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

bookkakes Report

Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
1 month ago

Nothing like getting belittled to make you feel better, right? Ugh

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#16

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Renzo_Rebel Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh, s**t. I'm so sorry.

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#17

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

auntbooboo Report

James016
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people should not be parents.

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#18

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

kenzie_connolly Report

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

She’s 9 dad. She’s playing soccer which involves a lot of running (assuming she’s not the goalie) so back off!

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#19

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

thhsystem Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

People fail to realize that self-harming is a coping mechanism toward pain and anger. Mom made it worse by telling you should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that you were able to find the help you needed.

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#20

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Sicarius001 Report

Tami
Community Member
1 month ago

My mom is like this. She doesn't say she doesn't care, but she shows it by not showing interest and changing the subject. Meanwhile, she can blather on for 30-40 minutes about the toast she had for breakfast or how she sat out in the sun for awhile.

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#21

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

LannieStabile Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

When I was growing up, and even into my teens, family friends would say how pretty I was. My mother would say, "Nah, she's not." And, then start to list all my faults. I'd either walk away or stand there, rolling my eyes. So, yeah, I feel you.

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#22

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

heylexiwrites Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

I'd need therapy if I had to go through that rubbish too. Of course, I had my own battles with my mother.

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#23

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Eternity24601 Report

Steve Barnett
Community Member
1 month ago

Aspergic. Demanding and yes, draining.

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#24

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

_potatofromhell Report

CatWoman312
Community Member
1 month ago

Thankfully we wear masks now so we don’t have to look at the faces of ugly trolls like your mom

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#25

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

freestylwalking Report

Jaime
Community Member
1 month ago

Ah, I do that too, because of my ADHD. I really hate it, sometimes I say things that make people uncomfortable because I didn’t think before I spoke.

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#26

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

icecubestepson Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep, I only know too well what sort of mom you have.

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#27

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

zambievibes Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

Nagging for whatever reason never works. It only builds resentment.

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#28

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

Alehfred Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

This isn't quite the same, but my mother told me that I had no patience for young children. She said this to me when I was 10 years old. I'm surprised that I turned out this well despite her negative attitude.

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#29

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

thebeerbitch Report

Hilary Rudd
Community Member
1 month ago

Don't let her put you off !!

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#30

Cruel-Unforgettable-Things-Parent-Said

zombietwinkie44 Report

Raine Soo
Community Member
1 month ago

No, your parents meant it. They just passed off the insults as jokes.

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