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As a parent, there are many things you could do to a child that could cause them lifelong trauma. It could be various forms of physical and mental mistreatment, sibling favoritism, or giving them a name that they’d be ashamed to carry or say out loud.
A Reddit thread from a few years ago explored some of the worst baby names ever bestowed upon a person. While some were tolerable enough, others were so bad, you’d likely wonder what the parents were thinking (if they were, at all).
Scroll through the list and maybe have a few laughs, but if you’re planning to have children, be sure not to commit the same mistakes these people did.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Triplets named Joy, Joyful and Joyfulness.
Hamsternoir:
If ever there is a trio doomed to a lifetime of crippling depression and therapy it's those three.
RELATED:
#2
Areola.
I know someone who literally named their daughter... Areola.
I asked "you know what that is, right?" And she was like "I know but the sound of the word is her name, not the meaning." My response? " Tell that to her classmates in 5th grade when they won't stop bullying her over her name..." Poor kid.
NoCompetitiveHum:
This is edging close to ab**ive.
We had the opportunity to speak with several experts who shared their insights on absurd baby names. Parenting expert, conscious parenting coach, and Awarenest founder Blanka Molnar says it could be a way for parents to project their “desire for self-expression” or their wish that the child “grows up bold and unafraid to be different.”
#4
Well they weren't babies, but at the summer camp where I worked this summer. 3 brothers: Honor, Heritage, and believe it or not, Henceforth. I felt a little bad for those kids.
#5
Gynyfyr
Pronounce: Jennifer.
SpiritAxolotl:
Do the parents have any history with epilepsy?
Because they had a stroke making that name.
Culture also plays a role here, according to Anna Pyshna, spokesperson for human-led language learning platform Preply. And since naming traditions vary between countries, some have imposed laws that prevent parents from giving their child names that could harm their dignity or blur cultural norms.
“In countries with fewer restrictions, parents have more freedom to ‘go out there,’” Pyshna told Bored Panda. “But that freedom also means greater scope for names that might become a burden, legally, socially, or personally as the child grows up.”
#7
My friend's sister named her twins Danger and Fury.
1questions:
That’s just asking for trouble really.
#8
I knew a doctor that collected unusual baby names. One lady was actually going to name her baby girl Chlamydia. The lady who puts names on birth certificates refused and told the lady what it meant. In a kindergarten class a little boy had 23 letters in his name. It was unpronounceable. Everyone called him a nickname "Trey" ( not the name) Even his family called him "Trey". It was sad. Why name a kiddo something no one can pronounce.
#9
A girl named Berlin-Germany. And she had a brother Dublin-Ireland.
erpods:
They had to have been conceived in these places.
Dave Baxter 3 months ago
Surely the city name alone should've been enough, without having to add the country, too?
While some unique names can be excellent conversation starters, those that are “too unique” could pose long-term challenges, according to Molnar. And these hurdles vary in severity.
“(These can range) from frequent misspellings and mispronunciations to misunderstandings, frustrations, and even identity confusion.”
#10
Blue and Pinky, brother and sister, their surname is Green
So yeah Blue Green and Pinky Green.
#12
Noodles and Papoose.
I heard these 2 magical names uttered in a single sentence by a woman. "Noodles! Put Papoose down!".
Some of the repercussions can be traumatizing. Based on their team’s research, Pyshna found that 52% of people in the UK who have unconventional names had them changed or shortened without consent, which has led to frustration, embarrassment, and bullying.
Their research also revealed that 29% felt their name influenced how other people perceived their intelligence or professionalism, while 22% reported experiencing workplace discrimination. Another 34% believed their name had “negatively affected” job application outcomes.
#13
Jathan. Not Jason, not Nathan. Jathan.
I tried the trick to remember his name by using it four times quickly. “Hi Jathan. Nice to meet you Jathan. How are you Jathan?”
He looked at me and said, “Are you theriouth right now?”.
#14
Twins Adam and Eve. Twins Jett and Deezel (like if you're going to play matchy, at least spell Diesel correctly).
#15
Jam Metallica for a baby girl.
Commander_Doom14:
If you absolutely must name your daughter after a rock/metal group, Pearl works just fine.
Given the burdens of having an overly unique name, how easy or difficult is it to have it changed legally? According to lawyer Emma Alves, the easy part is filling out the paperwork.
However, the challenge begins when it’s time to pay legal costs, which Alves says could be greater than $200, depending on the jurisdiction. This could be an added financial burden for people who don’t have enough monetary resources.
#16
I was at the park with my nephew last week and a woman started calling for her son to get off the swings. His name was Messiah. That seems like a lot to live up to!
#17
Jamie Oliver the chefs kids. One of them is named BUDDY BEAR MAURICE.
OtterCat79725:
And people trust him to cook. All his kids are stupidly named.
Poppy Honey Rosie, age 19, born March 2002
Daisy Boo Pamela, age 18, born April 2003
Petal Blossom Rainbow, age 12, born April 2009
Buddy Bear Maurice, age 11, born September 2010
River Rocket, age 5, August 2016
Some taken individually are fine like River, Daisy or Poppy but then you add some more bulls**t and its just awful.
#18
Occultist Diablo. Who would name their sweet boy such an awful name?
Dave Baxter 3 months ago
Such a shame that parents so cleaky lacking any maturity can still breed, regardless.
A unique name may seem adorable for a child, but that can all change once they get to their teenage years and beyond. Molnar says it shows a lack of long-term thinking on the parents’ part.
“It’s very short-sighted parenting, giving a child an overly complicated/unique name, and chasing likes on social media,” she said.
#19
I knew a guy names Don Phan. Surprisingly he was born before the pokemon donphan was released.
I met two brothers once named Cain and Abel. Cain hasn't k**led Abel yet.
#20
They named the kid Tic Tac because it was smaller than the average newborn, like what.
#21
I have a cousin named Merry Christmas. As if Christmas wasn't bad enough. No, she wasn't born on the 25th. She was born Dec. 23rd.
From that same side of the family. My other cousin named his son Xyz. I don't even know how to pronounce it.
I also know at least 2 people whose name is April. Yeah, normal. Except one was born in March, the other in May.
Alves shared a similar sentiment, urging parents to think of the future consequences their children may face and whether the name will benefit them later in life.
“It is not only creativity but also how the child is positioned to succeed both in social and professional life,” Alves said.
#22
A boy named Shrek started in my local school. A few years later his sister, Fiona, also started school there.
#23
My mom is a teacher and one year she taught someone named Rusty Pots.
WalterWhiteSavannah 3 months ago
Went to school with a Richard pitt. Fine except everyone (naturally) called him d**k pit.
#24
Went to school with a guy named Cedar and his last name was Post. I always wonder what his parents were thinking.
#25
Quevahn (pronounced Kevin).
#26
KVIIIlyn. Pronounced "Katelyn," just uses the Roman numerals for 8.
#27
Best friend's cousin named his son Lucifer. Not a joke. Wish it was.
Saltypepper 3 months ago
A couple I read about got their kids taken away their names were ava and Adolf ,
#31
Knew a guy named Jasmine he went by Jazz.
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
No worries. After all, 'Bambi' was a big buck deer with a fine rack of antlers.
#32
I met a young man named Jor-El.
Yes, as in Jor-El, father of Kal-El who became Superman on Earth.
#33
Thunderbird, Winter Star, Rainbow, Baby Girl.
Culturally not that weird, but day to day life outside of the Rez, strong names to live with.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
Lovely names for dogs, cats, or horses. Terrible monikers to force on a child, ESPECIALLY "Baby Girl".
#34
I knew someone named Aquanet. Also, a kid named Collin, but mom wanted a "unique" spelling, she spelled it Colon, poor kid.
#35
I knew a boy named Shadow in elementary school.
#37
I've met 2 people named after the lord of the rings characters. one being Frodo, and the other being Eowyn. now, I love LOTR, but that's just too much. one of them came to resent their name so much that they refused to consume any of the media.
#39
Harley Davidson she didn't know who the father was only that he rode a Harley Davidson.
#40
Tiaralynn-Angel. I laughed. We don’t speak anymore. Nothing was lost.
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
Back in the 1980s, I had an artist friend named 'Teanna'. Her parents created it by combining their names (Theodore and Anna). I always thought it was a beautiful name.
#41
Met a pair of toddler twin boys named Remington and Ruger.
#42
My brother-in-law was banned from naming when he threw out "Justice America" for my niece. His own mother just looked at him, dead faced, and told him f**k no.
WalterWhiteSavannah 3 months ago
After some old in laws became born again they named their son Christian justice.
#43
There was a boy named Nemo and a girl named Jello at the elementary school I went to back in 2010.
#44
Xerox.
Dave Baxter 3 months ago
Well, at least it's very unlikely anyone else would try to copy a name like that...
#45
I work at a preschool. We once had a child named Nebula.
#46
My sister's friend named her child Carodie. Pronounced Carrot-y.
Presumably because Rutabega-ish was too lengthy.
#47
I knew a lady who waited a year to name her baby, and, after all that time to decide, ended up with “abcde”. Pronounced (abb - sid- é). Horrific.
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
Could have been worse. Could have been EBCDIC (EBB-si-d!ck). IBM's failed attempt to supplant ASCII encoding, it stood for 'Extended Binary Coded Decimal Interchange Code'.
#48
Kavanah (alternative to Cavanaugh) but people kept calling her Cabana and it's just terrible.
#50
I worked at an after school program in college. There was a little boy there named Thunder. His older brother Storm would come pick him up.
#52
Joey Jojo Junior Shabadoo.
Dave Baxter 3 months ago
If true, that's surely justification to forcibly sterilise the parents, right there.
#54
These girls at my Korean church were named one and two in Korean. It wasn’t that bad since they went to school here but any time a Korean person heard it it was like wtf.
#55
Blue Pyramid (first and middle names)
And I know I'm going to not get this totally right, but it was something like
Madysynn Ayshlynn
It was just an ungodly number of y's and n's in that name.
There was also a family I knew who they were putting a double-N somewhere in each of the grandchildren's names, which is fine. But one of the boys they decided to name him Brian with two n's in it...so they named him Brionne.
tresgatos72 3 months ago (edited)
As a teacher, I'm beginning to think that Utah has a state law that every baby born there must have an X, Y or both in its name. This year I have students named Jaxsyn, Trevyn, Braydyn, Maxyn, and Axlynn. I live in California. They are ALL from Utah. No, none of them are related. 🙄
#56
Not so much forenames, but seen a few wild middle names.
I worked in a school and the three that stand out are:
1. Kenny Stevie Shankley Paisely [long line of Liverpool FC legends]
2. Tupac.
3. Budweiser.
Dave Baxter 3 months ago
At least one of the parents of each loved football, music... & weak lager?!?
#57
A young girl named Nemesis.
Bill Swallow 3 months ago
Well, one (very) minor consolation is that in the mythology, Nemesis was female, if I recal correctly.
#58
Kiwi and Sunshine, met them in a mental hospital, that was their real names. they were pretty chill.
#59
I know someone who knows someone who knows someone who named their kid Shampoo.
#60
Abcde but said like ab-sid-ey. She is in my sons class. I wish i was joking!
#63
I have a friend who's naming her baby, Laurana (Laura and Anastasia), you know the female lead for 50 shades of Gray and 365 Days cause she loves those movies. I don't wanna be that baby. I feel bad for that baby. I'm sorry for that baby.
Dave Baxter 3 months ago
Don't worry, I can't imagine anyone will relate that name to those dire movies by the time the child starts school.
#64
Hilton and Sheraton. I’m not kidding.
#65
Not the craziest ever, but I’ve come across some odd spellings of normal names that made me question what the parents were thinking.
Last year I met a Kohl (kree8tiv spelling of Cole) and a Gerrit (kree8tiv spelling of Garrett).
Both of those guys are going to be correcting people on how to spell their names for their whole lives.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
My black cat's name is Kohl. She's named after the ancient cosmetic made from the mineral stibnite (the black "eyeliner" you see on ancient Egyptian murals, basically.) I'm sure that some people think her name is actually "Coal", but that's okay, because she's a CAT XD If I were to name my child Cole, I'd spell it "Cole" and not try to get "uneek" with the spelling. kohl_kohl_...0419d1.jpg 
#66
An extended family member had a baby during the height of Covid. They named their son Covie. I didn’t know what to say. Me: oh… that’s…original?
#67
Kale. the guy is nice and cool and all but what the heck was going through his parents head thinking naming their kid after a vegetable.
#69
Legend has it that the child in the nursery bed next to mine was named Meconium, because the mother heard the doctor say it and thought it was pretty.
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
My name is Crystal. I got teased/mocked and bullied for my name when I was a kid in the 80s/90s. (I know, I know, but it was weird times.) I HATED my name when I was a kid and couldn't wait to turn 18 and legally change it. Turns out kids are stupid and will mock and bully for any reason XD I was fine with my name by the time I was 18 and never had it changed. That being said, I cannot FATHOM why parents subject their poor children to ACTUALLY horrible names, like naming them Naruto or Hatsune Miku or Astarion or something else from a fandom/IP that THEY like, but is completely unhinged and inappropriate to use as a name for an actual real human.
Rick Murray 3 months ago
Because parents are idiots that think itty bitty Naruto is dead cute, but they don't think about 14 year old Naruto surviving school or 20 year old Naruto trying to apply for a job, or *any* year old Naruto trying to pick up a girl...
Load More Replies...
Rick Murray 3 months ago
My father was insistent on me being called Brian Andrew (I believe after Brian May and Saint Andrew (🏴)). My mother vetoed that hard and had quite a job trying to demonstrate that BAM! BAM! BAM! was not going to be a good set of initials for a child. He went off in a huff and mom named me after her brother because she wasn't sure what to call somebody she'd never even met. 😂 I now pretty much only use the pet form of my name. I'm a "Rick", not a "Richard" (and absolutely not a "D**k" even though I have moments of being a massive one).
Hosteshumanigeneris 3 months ago
Recently met a woman whose name is Chandaleer. Yup, it's pronounced the same as well, you guessed it, "Chandelier".. so essentially, she is named after a large light fixture that you hang up..
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
Bill Lear, founder of Learjet, had a daughter named Shanda.
Load More Replies...
T'Mar of Vulcan 3 months ago
In South Africa we don't use the word "marina" for a boat dock, so I was never teased for my name. But people know what it means due to having watched tons of American TV. So when I go to Starbucks I say, "Marina, like a boat dock". They always spell it right!
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
My name is Crystal. I got teased/mocked and bullied for my name when I was a kid in the 80s/90s. (I know, I know, but it was weird times.) I HATED my name when I was a kid and couldn't wait to turn 18 and legally change it. Turns out kids are stupid and will mock and bully for any reason XD I was fine with my name by the time I was 18 and never had it changed. That being said, I cannot FATHOM why parents subject their poor children to ACTUALLY horrible names, like naming them Naruto or Hatsune Miku or Astarion or something else from a fandom/IP that THEY like, but is completely unhinged and inappropriate to use as a name for an actual real human.
Rick Murray 3 months ago
Because parents are idiots that think itty bitty Naruto is dead cute, but they don't think about 14 year old Naruto surviving school or 20 year old Naruto trying to apply for a job, or *any* year old Naruto trying to pick up a girl...
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 3 months ago
My father was insistent on me being called Brian Andrew (I believe after Brian May and Saint Andrew (🏴)). My mother vetoed that hard and had quite a job trying to demonstrate that BAM! BAM! BAM! was not going to be a good set of initials for a child. He went off in a huff and mom named me after her brother because she wasn't sure what to call somebody she'd never even met. 😂 I now pretty much only use the pet form of my name. I'm a "Rick", not a "Richard" (and absolutely not a "D**k" even though I have moments of being a massive one).
Hosteshumanigeneris 3 months ago
Recently met a woman whose name is Chandaleer. Yup, it's pronounced the same as well, you guessed it, "Chandelier".. so essentially, she is named after a large light fixture that you hang up..
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
Bill Lear, founder of Learjet, had a daughter named Shanda.
Load More Replies... T'Mar of Vulcan 3 months ago
In South Africa we don't use the word "marina" for a boat dock, so I was never teased for my name. But people know what it means due to having watched tons of American TV. So when I go to Starbucks I say, "Marina, like a boat dock". They always spell it right!
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