A name is an essential part of a person’s identity. It’s on birth certificates, calling cards, passports, and other vital documents. It’s something that we carry for the rest of our lives, which is quite unfortunate for some people.
Below you’ll find some of the worst names ever bestowed upon an individual. They’re the kind that would get someone bullied in school and beyond, or something you’d see on a Saturday Night Live skit. Some are so hilariously bad that a legal change is understandable, regardless of family histories.
Scroll through to see what we mean.
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The Only Correct Answer
Best Fire Fighter Name Ever
Latrina
Outlandish names have gotten worse in recent years, so much so that judges had to intervene. In 2015, France banned “Nutella” and “Strawberry” from being used for baby names. The UK did the same thing a year later when a woman from Wales wanted to name her daughter “Cyanide.”
In both situations, judges had the children’s best interests at heart, stating that the absurd names may cause problems when they grow up. It is quite unfortunate, as it seemed amiss with these parents.
Unfortunate Name
These Were The Names Of My Dad's Teachers In Pre-School
Mr. Perv
The trend of weird and quirky names has also been prevalent in the United States. According to a study by San Diego State University psychology professor Dr. Jean Twenge, Americans have been more inclined to give their babies less common names, which have decreased in popularity since the 1950s.
While names like Joseph, Thomas, Elizabeth, and Jennifer are still popular, you may also have noticed the rise in popularity of more unorthodox names like Maude, Phineas, Saffron, and Bevelyn, to name a few.
Just So... Unfortunate
This Guy Must’ve Hated The Fact That The Military Goes By Last Names
Nice To Meet You Mike
"Moe's Tavern" "Yeah, I would like to speak to Litoris. First name Mike" "Ok, ok. IS MIKE LITORIS HERE? I NEED MIKE LITORIS!"
So, what is the reason behind the rise in popularity of uncommon names? Dr. Twenge suggests that American individualism may be a contributing factor. As she told the BBC, it’s their way of wanting to make their child more distinct.
“Parents have favored giving children names that help them stand out – and that means more unique names and fewer common names,” she explained.
Very Unfortunate Name Indeed
Maybe Her Parents Should Have Said Her Name Out Loud
My Mom Named Me After Naruto
My mom is a big anime fan, I'm not... She named me Ninja, inspired by Naruto, and made my middle name Egg to play along with our last name Salad. My brothers also have weird names, such as Ashton Greek Salad, and Honey Dew Salad. At least Honey and Ash are normal. My entire life, I've lived with people making weirdly racist jokes about Asians and asking if I was a blue-haired Fortnite streamer.
Anytime I tell someone my name, they never believe me, and I get in trouble with the law because they think I'm joking. They'll ask my name, I'll say Ninja, then they'll ask, "What's your real name?", and if I have my ID, I'll give it to them, and even then, I've been taken into jail because they think I have a fake ID. School was a nightmare, and don't even get me started on finding a job. I've been thinking about changing my name to Spencer so I can actually get some decent work, but I've lived my life as Ninja for so long, I don't know if I'll ever adjust. So speaking of which, any name ideas?
If you really want to name something after your favourite thing, name a pet, plant, car, anything but a child after your favourite thing. Or at least find the most human like name from a different anime.
Wealth is another contributing factor, according to Arizona State University professor Michael Varnum. As he told the BBC in the same interview, scarcity isn’t a concern for people with infinite resources. In turn, they are more likely to be open to “stick out a little bit.”
“If you don’t have a lot of resources or wealth, the better strategy might be conformity and to do what most people are doing,” he said.
My Name Is "Nasser". The Game Is Censoring The Middle Letters And It's Making It Worse
Ice Breaker
I don't even think a common name would save her. Definitely didn't protect me.
Stuck With A Dumb Name
LOL Ya know if you want to give yourself a ridiculous name, best one would be the middle name.
We’d now like to hear from you, readers. Which of these names do you think is most unfortunate? Are they that bad to warrant a legal name change, or are they acceptable enough to live with? Share your thoughts in the comments!
My Grandpa Had An Unfortunate Name
Oof. This would not be good for him today. "D**k didn't just call himself a rapper and leave out the p, diddy?"
Poor Guy
Mr Moe Lester You Are Waited At Gate 4
Unfortunate name. Just goes to show, though, that sometimes a name is just a name people will look past if you are kind and loving.
Last Name Pretty Much Seals The Deal
I Am Uncomfortable
That’s An Unfortunate Combination
The Most Unfortunate Name Ever
Unfortunate Name
I See Your Yearbook Name And Raise You This
Spotted On Instagram: North Korea?
The Big Question Of The Commonwealth Games
He Was Literally Born For This, It Was His Destiny
Vegeta
You Have Got To Be Kidding Me
This Dentist’s Name
Is Your Middle Name Camper Or Something?
Went to primary school with a Hunter Fisher. From memory, we all missed the joke.
She Lives Rent Free In My Mind
Tell me you were named after a 1 night stand without telling me you were named after a 1 night stand
Kermit Rainman
There Is An Editor Somewhere That Needs To Be Fired
Apparently "p0o" is Thai for crab. Pronounce Bpuu by the way and is more of a nickname thing but still, there HAS to be a better translation for the word -_-"
My Legal First Name Is Not Valid On Facebook. I Was Born With This Name
Best Friend Is Having A Baby… I Googled It And Apparently A Few People Have That Name, But Is It Not Literally The Word “Ashtray”???
Unfortunate Name
Doesn’t Seem Like The Type Of Dentist You’d Want If You Have A Sweet Tooth
I would go to that dentist. Seems like he'd have a sense of humour. Better than Dr. Pain.
Sister's Name Probably Saratonin
My 12 Year Old Loves Telling Me About The Tragedeighs At Her School. Today She Sent Me This From Her School Bus
Unfortunate Name
My Friend Is A Dance Teacher, These Kids Are Aged 6-8
Imagine Waking Up In The Morning And Saying, "I'm Gonna Name My Baby After A Social Media Feature"
Philly Cheesesteak
Why Though?!
At A Primary School In Norway. I Feel So Bad For This Kid
Hopefully This Fellow Doesn’t Get Too Much Flak For His Surname
This Name
Mr MacFeely from Mr Rogers Neighborhood? Oh, wait. His name is David McFeely.
This Did Not Give Me Dohp Amin (Dopamine)
Found On Facebook
As someone who works in schools, I wish parents would see the ridicule some kids get from their names, it’s so sad. One kid was named L’il Carl , his legal name. So whenever his name was announced on the intercom the kids would laugh it was so sad
And the school did nothing about it? It wasn't taken as a great opportunity to talk about kindness and tolerance? Create a supportive atmosphere in the school?
Load More Replies...Had a client named Cynadie once. My brain insisted it was Cyanide. Kennedy. Her name was pronounced Kennedy.
We had a man swindling farmers who lost property in floods in New South Wales. Yes, it was terrible. But his surname was Swindle. Should have known something was up.
If he was American half our population would have elected him president several times by now.
Load More Replies...As someone who works in schools, I wish parents would see the ridicule some kids get from their names, it’s so sad. One kid was named L’il Carl , his legal name. So whenever his name was announced on the intercom the kids would laugh it was so sad
And the school did nothing about it? It wasn't taken as a great opportunity to talk about kindness and tolerance? Create a supportive atmosphere in the school?
Load More Replies...Had a client named Cynadie once. My brain insisted it was Cyanide. Kennedy. Her name was pronounced Kennedy.
We had a man swindling farmers who lost property in floods in New South Wales. Yes, it was terrible. But his surname was Swindle. Should have known something was up.
If he was American half our population would have elected him president several times by now.
Load More Replies...