35 Of The Most Controversial Opinions On Parenting That People Stand By

And probably an ex parent at some point...

Holy c**p at the comments in here!!! I 100% stand behind and give my full support to my GAY AUTISTIC son. Those of you who think less of my son or me can just shove your heads so far up your @ss that you choke on your own sh*t.

This is so important. In fact I'd go as far as to say your child's safety and security should be your priority until they're old enough to look after themselves.

I used to know someone who once she had her first child got on the highest horse you could imagine. She developed a sense of entitlement and superiority "because I'm a mother" Eventually we all went NC and I did hear that when she and her hubby divorced, he got custody.

Funny. Mine complain any time I make a big purchase because it diminishes their inheritance. That's now the joke in the family if I take them out to dinner and pay I promptly thank them for dinner as it came out of their inheritance. So much fun to watch them squirm

They got a point

Got yelled at by a parent because I shooed a child out from behind the counter where I worked. I worked at a pizza place at the time.. the pizza oven is 500 degrees. Your child almost took a header into it. *Where were you* and why aren't you watching your kid?

Mine has decided to change their pronouns. I don't understand it, but I accept it cos I love them 🙂

How is this controversial? If you are wrong you should apologize, it doesn't matter the age or the relation you have with the wronged party.

Yes. I always say that a big part of the world's f#ckery stems from the fact that people treat having kids as an obligation even though they're absolutely unfit for parenting.

Yes, why do people do that?

This. This should be much higher.

I also give relationship advice to my friends even though I'm chronically single. It's about a different perspective.

I worked at the DMV. An 18 year old came in with paperwork to change her name from Marijuana Cocaine. I can't imagine what her childhood was like.

That goes for the rate of pay, too! I don't care that you have 4 kids and cannot pay your bills, especially if you underperform. That does not give you a right to earn more money simply because of this. I've had this happen more than once when I found out someone was making as much as me without half of skills, education, and common sense I have. The answer was, "Well, he has a family..." That's not my problem.

If you're in a home where you ever have to fear for your safety for whatever reason, thats no place for a child.

The number of hockey/football/pageant parents I know with miserable children. Or, "I wanted to be a doctor but didn't get the opportunity, but you can!" The parents are never satisfied and the kids hate life.

Someone on Tumblr once said that "small children have the full emotional range of an adult person, but no experience to know how to handle them" and it has really changed how I look at kids getting emotional in public.

Isn't that the expectation and the bare minimum when you become a parent?

100% agree on this.

People love to say this, and I understand their sentiment, but any world that implemented this would be a horrible world. Think about the people in power who get to decide the rules, and think of the people who would be excluded. LGBT people would have parenting rights revoked, disabled people, people from unconventional backgrounds. Imagine if the government could look into your past and see stuff like "oh you did drugs when you were in your early 20s? Well now you're 33 and haven't touched them for years, you can't be a parent. Sorry!"

Yeah, the be interested part is important

Not entirely agree. To be a good parent, you must take care of yourself. All in consideration though - don't neglect the kids for your sake, but you want them to take care of themselves when they are an adult too, right? SHOW THEM. People who stop living and only live for their children is bad. Usually it's women who do this. When you have kids, you are still a person.

9 years in and still winging it.

My parents are wonderful loving people who were really kind and supportive to my older brother and for many years he was an absolute s**t-head. He has matured a bit since settling down, but he's still obnoxious

"let them develop their own personalities" "if the kid turns out bad, it's the parents fault" "keep your kids in check" "don't be so strickt" - it's all just extremes against eachother, and all taken out of context. M W's comment to this post is what all these opinions need: an exact example. Those opinions are mostly geared towards a specific scenario in mind, but that is not mentioned.

And only if it works: if kids are told by a teacher how to behave well and the parents tell them otherwise, who do you think they'll most likely listen to? A guy they see a few hours everyday for less than a year, or their beloved parents they take as their life example? Yes, a good teacher can be a great help but it can't replace parents who don't do their job.

In my personal experience, it's been the parents who are most religious end up being the ones to more quickly abandon their children at the slightest hint of deviation from their personal ideals.

Gods yes. Dont excuse their bad behaviors because you think they can do no wrong. Let them experience consequences. Stand with them, hold their hand, but make them face the ramifications of their actions. Excusing them only creates a$$holes and monsters who think they can get away with anything.

I've heard about a father who reacted to his son assaulting a girl with "Nice, I was getting afraid he's gay". Some nice priorities, really...

Parents are not servants or slaves to their children though. People should appreciate what they have. Both parents and children. And no, it's not my responsibiltiy to be there for them no matter what. It is my responsibility to perpare them for adult life, to make them independent (good) human beings. It is my responsibility to make sure they can live happily ever after without me.

It’s makes me so sad and angry seeing babies holding a phone when out and about. Literal babies! Disgusting. And then there’s the toddlers. No wonder IQ points have dropped for the first time in over 70 years after ongoing growth. 22 points! That’s massive!

My mom used to vent all her anxieties to me as a child. Even about her sex life with My dad. Fun times going through that in therapy

YES. This is the correct response to the "ChiLdReN aRE NoT yOUr FriEnDs" argument.

Not always. Sometimes parents try to connect with their kids and that kid just goes off the rails.

The "I gave you a roof over your head, fed you, clothed you" argument really makes my blood boil. "Geez thanks for doing the bare minimum for my survival." I should clarify, I don't get this from my parents thankfully I've been lucky to have good kind and caring parents but I've heard this countless times from other peoples parents to them. One friend even quotes their parent and says it to their kids now even though they do much more for their kids but that mentality was instilled in them. It's very sad.

No but I taught them that calling someone else "sir" or "ma'am" is simple respect until given leave by that person to call them something different. Especially in professional settings like school or their doctor. There is a difference between teaching basic manners and respect and forcing them to treat you like some kind of warden.

I feel this one is a bit more complex. It's important to let kids have a childhood, while also preparing them for the future. "Good values" are subjective. This one could go pretty deep in the discussion mill, but suffice to say, it's all about balance.

When I was still teaching preschool, the mother of one of my two-year-olds had to deal with that. She had a friend that kept asking why her son wasn't doing this or that, like the friend's son supposedly could. It was awful how anxious she got over it. I kept telling her that he was fine, and that he'd grow at his own pace, it was okay. I think it did help. That, and the fact that after spending several months as a pretty silent 2-year-old, he finally did start talking, in beautiful, grammatically correct English. ("Miss Karen, I took a nap today" was his first full statement to me. Not "Me taked/tooked or. any other cute variation. Totally floored me!) And once he started, he didn't stop, LOL. I think she realized her friend was insecure and her kid really was fine after that.

Tiny bodies can have very big - overwhelming feelings and limited communication skills. Parents need to teach children how to handle those feelings in a positive manner.

We told ours "if you find you are in a jam, call us, we will hash out the why later"...worked pretty well

Yup, mental abuse is even worse sometimes. and the old trope, "...but other people had it worse than you..." doesn't mean a thing. It does not delegitimize what one has experienced.

I’ll make it really easy: if you want your kids to forgive your mistakes, you need to be willing to actually FIX your mistakes. My parents were ~trying to do what they felt was right~ when they smacked me; should that be considered OK since it didn’t meet the threshold to be classified as abuse?

AND take EVERY OPPORTUNITY to tell them how much you love them and how proud you are of them.

I'm calling whiney B.S. on this one. Kids end up in therapy for an array of reasons. Stop blaming parents for everything. My therapist said, "A huge chunk of people who blame their parents for things actually need to address their expectations of what they think a parent should be." In a nutshell, he explained we put our parents on a pedestal that we as adults couldn't even measure up to those expectations. To go directly along with this post, maybe most kids end up in therapy because they refused to change, did their own thing, and now blame their parents that they feel so lost.

A kid doesn't know what a good parent is. A kid wants a friend, a parent who always grants their wishes. A kid wants a parent who does not say no. A good parent sets boundaries, learns children to do task they do not like, learns them to respect and to say no. It's growing up, becoming an adult, that makes you see what kids need, not having been a child.

This is a huge brushstroke.

And during! Sweet Jesus.

Fr. Who's the child now?

Yes, ESPECIALLY physical punishments. I've heard that physical punishments are never a good solution at any point of the child's life, since the child is either too young to comprehend why they're being hit or mature enough to employ other, less extreme ways to correct their behavior.

Sometimes a kid needs gentle parenting other times you need to teach them to be a decent person

Agree for the most part, except one thing: when parents say "discipline and respect", they too often mean "absolute, unconditional obedience and subservience enforcable by physical violence". Parenting with fear is no parenting at all.

Disagree with this one. Parenting is both incredibly amazing and sometimes quite difficult. Both of those things can coexist. Just because a parent needs to vent doesn't mean they don't love their children.

I'd refprase it in a more positive way: Parents don't always have to know what's best for their children. Parents try to put themselves into the situation and guess what would be best, but it can be sometimes completely wrong, and that is ok. It's a learning moment. Also, just because you are a parent that doesn't mean you need to be a perfect parent "according to the unwritten parenting guidebook". Do the best you can.

This should be at the top of the list.

I disagree as our children are very much representatives of the parent(s). S****y parents will often have s****y kids compared to children taught manners and respect for others.

This sounds like the start of every horror story of a kid who has zero chance at pleasing parents with this specific goal.

This is a great way to get your children to go NC with you.

I once got scolded by someone who wasn't my mom for "back talking" but I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, I was raising a genuine concern, and I had no idea why she was getting so mad. My parents allowed me to speak freely about such things and it was never perceived as disrespect, so I was really shocked.