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Seeing a good clapback is always satisfying. It's witty, has an element of justice, and can defend against unnecessary insults. The funnier it is, though, the more effective. We don't only want justice, we want to make the comeback sting more with a joke.

There is an X (Twitter) page that collects this sort of humor. People online say all sorts of things. And there's no shortage of wannabe comedians or just people with a well-developed funny bone online as well. Clever Comebacks is the place where one can find some witty roasts. So we invite you to scroll through our selection from this X page and tell us your own stories of clapping back in style.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Already done thanks to Obama. Seriously my roommate is diabetic and when he got on ACA his insulin went from $500 per month to $50 per month. He literally cried he was so happy.

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How many of us would want to be able to come up with witty comebacks on the spot? How often do most of us wonder how to clap back in the moment? Not an hour, a day, or a week later. The secret to a great comeback, according to a theater artistic director, is focusing, really focusing, on what the other person is saying.

Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, told the BBC in 2016 that you can't really plan a good comeback. It's like improv on stage in that regard – you work with what the other person is giving you. Paul claims that people think faster than other people speak. That gives them time to come up with a witty answer.

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Rizzo
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like someone got their history knowledge from the Flintstones. ;)

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Paul says good listening skills come in handy when coming up with a clever comeback. For those who want to hone their listening skills, she suggests a simple game of one-word volleyball. Two people build a story by quickly adding a word as a response to what the other person just said. 

She uses the same technique when teaching improvisation theater. "The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul told the BBC.

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People begin hearing insults thrown at them in childhood. Although at that age they might seem insignificant, a child should know how to react properly. Psychiatrist Suzanne Bender, M.D., writes for Psychology Today that ignoring the other person doesn't always work. "Rude remarks without any pushback may continue, or even escalate," she added.

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Agreeing with the offender might work. But children should do so with humor. If a kid tells another child "You look like a grape in this shirt", the kid might retort with "Well, I love grapes and couldn’t be prouder to represent this fruit." Yet the problem with this is that it requires verbal agility and to think on one's feet. 

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Spidercat
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He cancelled the whole human race with a flood a few chapters later...

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And Polio, Ruebella, Measles, Pertussis, hell even Chicken Pox. Before a vaccine became available, approximately 100 US children, died each year from Chicken Pox.

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Spidercat
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Get lost in a grocery store situated in a an ethnically diverse neighbourhood while trying to steal spices."....There, fixed it.

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However,children can practice and enhance their verbal agility. Bender suggests parents roleplay with their kids. That way, the child can take turns to be both the aggressor and the responder. Practicing these types of situations might increase the kid's confidence. Next time, they might have a clever comeback prepared, and that's incredibly empowering to a young child.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also the left isn''t the one hoarding guns and ammo and preparing for a new civil war. We don't want war and bloodshed. That's kind of our thing.

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What's interesting is that "the battle of wits" is not an invention of social media. Pamela Druckerman writes for The New York Times about the movie "Ridicule", which examines the social injustices of late 18th-century France. It portrays French aristocrats as having a never-ending battle of wits.

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Nonna_SoF
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alright, so since no pastor alive today witnessed the s**t they preach about they're all false witnesses and therefore broke the 9th commandment.

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The film is set on the eve of the French Revolution, and shows the corruption and callousness of the aristocrats. Those who were able to make their rivals look ridiculous, possessed 'esprit.' As Merriam Webster defines it, the term means 'vivacious cleverness or wit.' The movie’s tagline is this: "Wit opens every door."

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Regardless of the man / woman context, this is the best response of all.

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Druckerman likens this order of society to her daughter's playground. You and everyone around you is in a competition not to look ridiculous. "When my daughter complained that a boy had insulted her during recess, I counseled her to forget about it," Druckerman writes. "She said that just wouldn't do: To save face, she had to humiliate him."

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LakotaWolf (she/her)
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention that just because two people of biologically opposite genders (male and female) have sex and conceive, that does NOT mean those people are or were “straight”. Bisexual people exist. Pansexual people exist. And non-binary people exist. And genderfluid people exist. Many people are capable of conceiving a child. Having sex that results in pregnancy does not automatically make the genetically-contributing parties “straight”.

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So if we're doomed to always be on our toes and have witty comebacks ready on the go, how do we make them land? Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, told the BBC that it's best to respond to an insult in a positive way. She says that toxic banter turns the environment sour for every employee.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Europeans didn't colonize America, they conquered it by committing genocide on the people who were already here.

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Instead of being mean, says Raffy, try to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation" and don't make the antagonist the bad guy. It's best to turn them into the "victim" of the circumstances. What are some examples? "If a colleague says, 'This project is going nowhere fast,' you could say, 'At least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction,'" Raffy suggests.

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Debbie
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still find this one funny. Honest and I bet Paul Felder also had to laugh about the response.

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Spidercat
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaah yes, the socialist funding structure of the US Army and the USPS.... Shhhh...don't tell the GOP.

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TiNaBoNiNa
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The USPS hasn't gotten tax money since the 1970's. It runs completely on revenue from postage, PO Boxes, and advertisers. In the early 2000's, some "geniuses" in Congress decided the USPS needed to prefund its pension plan to have $ to cover 70 years of pension payments, something no other corporation or government agency has ever had to do. That means, they have to fund pensions for people that have not even been born yet! If the USPS did not have to make million dollar balloon payments at the end of each fiscal year, it would be completely solvent. (Spoken as a former USPS employee.)

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Andy Frobig
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Although the military has actually lost over $1T, as in we have no idea where that $1T is

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Kris Tyler
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

actually, no one i know hates usps, and most of them are a s****y bunch!

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Bi-Polar Express
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate the USPS. They refuse to deliver to my community. UPS does. Fed Ex does. USPS takes our stuff and holds it in a back office for a week and then puts a tag in our box and then closes at 4:30 so it's almost impossible to get packages sent through them.

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never thought of this issue in that manner. Although I suspect a fair number of people DO think the US military "loses" $750b per year.

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SM
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Government provides a service; let's say health care, education, roads, ... That service provides healthily, educated employees, which in turn allows the business and the nation to be more profitable. How is success of this judged? Government doesn't tax businesses enough to cover the cost of the services, and as such runs a deficit. Which the politicians use as an excuse to cut those services. They also claim that the government will default on its loans. Governments that print their money never run out of money! The real test is if the country's GDP can support the spending. You have cooperations with insane valuations, and somehow, they can't afford to pay for the services that made them that insane valuation.

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Yeah, ok. Whatever Brian
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

USPS is the only Federal Public Service not federally funded. They do not receive tax payer money. The messed up thing is that it is also the only one actually written into our Constitution.

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Lady Gypsy Rain
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahhhh so the fact there is no real competition to lose to has absolutely nothing to do with it. Absolutely makes sense

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Puter Prsn
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not exactly the same. Stamp sales were suppposed to cover the cost so the line in the national budget would be -0-

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Slarty Bartfast
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Although it appears that the Pentagon DOES literally lose money on a regular basis, according to their own records!

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Renee Prete
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

USPS isn't funded by the government. The only income is from postage/merchandise/p.o.boxes, etc. They're run like any other company so I'd does have loses

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Thirumeninathan Murugan
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The comeback is not right. Postal service charges money from consumers unlike the army. If it is a pure service, should it not be free?

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EJN
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Putting the GOP in office and having the head of the USPS trash all of the USPS modern machinery didn't help one bit!!! Send a bill to the GOP!

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Salty Wild Hair
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The military has lost billions though, announced before 911 and just this past fall.

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Rebecca Derr
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure most of that loss is because of the service in Wlmbg, VA. It takes a month to receive mail from your next door neighbor, if you get it at all.

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Vadertime
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GOP wants to privatize everything, including the USPS and the military.

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Freddy M. (He/Him)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

According to what I've been seeing recently it does, however, lose $375b a year

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Jennifer Ness
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Conservatives only talk about moving profitable federal entities to the private sector

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bookbuddy
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, the post office was originally making good money, until they were forced to turn it over to other departments.

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Two_rolling_black_eyes
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The US Postal Service is supposed to be a moneymaker to pay its own bills. Its why you have to buy stamps or pay to ship a package. Unfortunately, its rules are made up by congress so it has dysfunction of both a business and a government agency. The biggest "money loser" for the USPS is they are legally required to fully fund a new employee's medical benefits for their pension. 30 years of health insurance premiums on day one. Combining a great idea of government covered health care with the worst part of US healthcare of making you pay 30 years of premiums and doing it upfront.

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Admiralu
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And postmaster DeJoy is a Trump lackey that's raised prices on nearly everything in the last several years losing more business. Some carriers don't get paid on time and many have had their jobs upended because of his disastrous policies.

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SM
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The economics of government is just way above some people's heads... Actually, so is regular economics!

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Roxy222uk
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you seen the size of those garages, too? Those are wealthy people.

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Clown fish
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4 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe if you cover your face with a mask you might get some action to

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the OP is a functional something, but BoredPanda doesn't allow bad words ...

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Helena
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the original question. Because it is my last name. You don't need another reason.

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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kevin Sorbo is the guy famous for playing Hercules in the '90s TV series. He has since gone a little funny in the head and believes some very strange things.

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Jeff White
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh oh, you're trying to use sense or logic on a vaccine denier? It is astounding how ineffective that method is (although "I" think your example is brilliant). Well done.

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