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44 Of The Most Satisfying Instant Karma Manifestations People Have Ever Witnessed
Interview
Someone is always watching. Well, that might not be entirely true, but it’s best to behave as if it is. You shouldn’t ever do or say anything that you wouldn’t want others to know about. Because it might just come back to bite you in the form of karma.
Redditors have recently been recalling times they witnessed instant karma, so we’ve gathered their best stories below. From reckless drivers getting pulled over immediately after speeding through school zones to people getting caught in the midst of trying to scam someone, these tales make it clear that karma can be fast-acting when it wants to. So enjoy scrolling through these stories, and be sure to upvote the ones that inspire you to be on your best behavior!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I'm a commercial loan officer. Some real estate had been referred to me by a broker. He had called me demanding approval, and I told him it would likely go to our loan committee scheduled for the following day. Unknown to me, he called our headquarters and bullied the receptionist into pulling our bank's president out of a meeting so this random broker could demand our approval.
My favorite ever bank president told him, "If you must have an answer right now, then the answer is no.".
Anonymouse 3 days ago
And for those with kids, this is also the best policy for short notice requests.
Rosecat 2 days ago
Why specifically for those with kids? For any kind of short notice requests.
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Seadog 1 day ago
Back around 1990 a loan officer was basically approving one customer for any loan (used cars) When it all went south, they ended up repossessing 6 cars, A Cavalier with no sheet metal forward of the broken windshield, a 300Z which broke in half at the firewall while being unloaded from the rollback and I can't recall the other 4 equally useless cars. Each had been financed sight unseen as if they were in excellent condition. Loan officer didn't get canned but he was no longer allowed to approve any loans without a second officers approval.
Roxy222uk 3 hours ago
I’ve never understood the idea of sacking someone when they make an expensive mistake. Unless they genuinely just don’t care they are **never** going to make that mistake again and be ultra-careful, and know stuff to look out for that they didn’t know about before. I once read of a person that made a mistake that cost some financial institution £2 million. He went to the head cheese and said “I suppose I’m fired”, and the head cheese replied “Are you kidding me?! It cost me £2 million to train you.” That seems like a far more logical response to me.
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#2
Standing on a crowded NYC sidewalk during morning rush when a messenger bicycle goes whizzing past. Some dude in the crowd reaches out and pushes the guy on the bike, and he wipes out spectacularly.
Bike rider jumps right up, runs back and just lays. this. guy. out. KPOW, dude hit the deck like a ton of bricks, out cold.
Rider then calmly goes over, gets on his bike and rides off.
Colleen Glim 3 days ago
An equal and opposite reaction. The pusher just became a victim of newtons laws of motion
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#3
I worked at the service desk at a Zayre store many years ago. The managers were usually lazy and spent most of their time in the coffee shop, ignoring pages for assistance. A customer was at the service desk demanding cash for an item she was returning after paying by check that day. In those days a customer had to wait 10 days to be certain the check cleared before they could have cash back for a return. She was having a holy fit demanding cash immediately. I paged the manager and for once he showed up. He told the customer to wait and she stood there smirking at me. He went to the office, found her check and handed it back to her. The look on her face was priceless!
Bob Brooce 3 days ago (edited)
Excellent. I once worked at a gas station and one day some clown came in and bought $2 worth of gas and paid with a $100 bill. My manager opened up the safe, pulled out a wrapped stack of singles, tore off the wrapper, took $2 and handed the guy 98 singles. I also once got paid for $1 worth with a ten that was folded to the size of a postage stamp. By the time I unfolded it and found a twenty inside they were way to far away to have given it back even if I wanted to.
To find out how this thread started in the first place, we got in touch with the Reddit user who started the conversation, MadBinton1996. They were kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and answer a few of our questions.
"I have been asking questions on r/AskReddit that I think are interesting, specifically because you’ll find that a lot of people from around the world have experienced the same thing as myself," the author shared.
#4
When I was a kid I grabbed my cat’s paws, and gently made him hit himself in the face saying “why are you hitting yourself?” He goes to bite my hand, and I yank my hand back quickly and smack myself in the face.
#5
I was being tailgated and honked for driving slow on an icy road. They went around me then braked to make a turn, slid through the intersection and crashed into a pole.
I turned slowly, made eye contact, rolled down the window and let loose a loud Nelson “Haw Haw!”.
Geoffrey Scott 3 days ago
We were doing 35mph in our FWD sedan during a snowstorm and were passed by a Jeep doing about 50. Karma showed us him slid WAY off the 4 lane about 2 miles up. Reinforced my notion that 4wd only serves to stuff you further into the ditch if you drive like it's dry pavement in bad weather.
Nicole Weymann 2 days ago
"four wheel drieve" only means that you'll get stuck where even the tow truck won't reach you ☝️😂
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Rosecat 2 days ago
I was once waiting at the airport to go under that sensor thing that's supposed to scan your body. There was an issue with it, and the guy told me to wait. The lady behind me asked "Why aren't you moving?" I said "That guy told me to wait". She said "Well I am going ". They sent her back
#6
I always get instant karma! One time, I was young, and I wanted to skip work and hang out with my friends all day. So I called in and told them that my car was towed and that I wouldn't be able to make it in. We were all excited to have the day off, until I went outside and saw that my car had actually been towed! I spent the day tracking it down and paying hundreds to get it out of impound. That's what I get. I've learned my lesson. Never lie, never brag, and never challenge the universe, it can always get worse.
Wonnie-Cookie713 2 days ago
Maybe it parked illegally without knowing ig??
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Upstaged75 2 days ago
Just today I was being an impatient jerk in the parking lot at CVS. Because someone took 5 tries to back their Tesla in to a spot and was blocking the aisle. After I waited for them to finish and was able to park myself (I didn't say anything, I just rolled my eyes and made some impatient gestures) I got out and started stomping my way in to the store. And then I tripped and fell. 🙄 My knee is a bloody mess now and hurts a lot. I totally deserved it. 🤷♀️
GalPalAl 3 days ago
Same thing happens to me, so I stop using specific excuses for not being able to make it anywhere. There is also the rule of threes where whatever you say does come back to you 3 times. So be careful.
Skogsrået 3 days ago
That sounds like the Threefold law aka the Law of return, the belief that whatever energy a person puts out, good or bad, will return to them threefold. It's a Wiccan law btw.
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"The reason I had thought about posting this was because the same day, a car cut me off and got pulled over immediately by the police," the author continued. "This was something that a lot of people had posted about as well, which made me laugh."
#7
I once had the pleasure of watching an aggressive driver who was cutting people off and then brake checking them down it to an unmarked state trooper and ended up cuffed and stuffed 🤣 it was glorious!
Geoffrey Scott 3 days ago
Wife and I were custodians at the local school and had a Saturday cleanup after an event. We pulled off the state road onto the road to the school. My wife said "that guy's awful close behind us" as she slowed to turn into the school drive. He rear-ended us., and took off around us, not realizing the car behind HIM was a county cop. Cop took off after him and pulled him over and, as we watched, cuffed and stuffed him after seeing outstanding warrants. We knew the cop and chuckled with him when he came back to take our info for insurance.
Seadog 1 day ago
Wife got rear ended in Illinois by someone who was speeding and had outstanding warrants. Illinois cop cited my wife even though the person who hit here was in the wrong. Why? Probably because we're out of state and he knew there was no way it would be contested and he knew if he cited the other driver, the courts wouldn't get a dime from it. Crooked cops everywhere. Then he called a tow company that charged 10X what they should have, probably thinking they'd just get to keep our vehicle. WRONG. Lost our a$$ though because insurance doesn't pay squat.
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Lee Gilliland 3 days ago
Guy went through a red light in front of me. Right behind me was a cop car. He hits his lights and siren, comes around, gives me the BIGGEST grin you ever saw, and nails the SOB.
Kalikima 2 days ago (edited)
I watched someone speeding and tailgating people for miles, even across the bridge here, just to watch a cop pull him over after doing it a few more miles on the other side of the bridge. I didn't see if he just got a ticket or if he was arrested, but it sure made my day to see him get pulled over.
#8
Someone being really rude unnecessarily to a cashier and then leaving their phone on the counter and me just keeping my mouth shut and letting them walk out the store.
Lila Allen 3 days ago
If it's locked just keep putting in the wrong password and it'll lock itself against the owner.
Load More Replies... Mike F 3 days ago
Being unnecessarily rude to employees should get you banned from the store. I was at our neighborhood supermarket one Thursday (important) and was behind this woman in the checkout line. She started yowling because a pack of bacon didn't ring at the "sale" price and she accused the cashier of ripping her off. Cashier shuts down her line and goes to check the price and all the while squawking about the cashier ripping her off. I mentioned to her that the cashier has no control over that and she can't do it intentionally. We quarreled over this until the cashier returned with the bacon that was on sale and heard me berating this woman. The bit©h finally leaves and I cash out with the 5% "student discount" (Thursday special) I guess because I stuck up for her. I hope the bit©h's eggs broke.
Wonnie-Cookie713 2 days ago
I don’t like how ppl are a******d to their expensive rectangles sometimes. (I have one, but I rarely use it. Im using a mobile rn) So when something happens to their phone, it’s one of my fav karma scenarios :P
#9
Some kid overtook me (I was doing the speed limit) in front of an elementary school. He did so by driving over the middle lane used to turn left on both sides. Right after he passed me a cop was driving the opposite way. The cop flipped a u-turn, turned on his lights, flew by me and pulled him over. I drove by him slow and looked over at him to see his reaction. He was not happy. I was.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 days ago
Never fvck around in a school zone. Somebody (usually a cop) WILL see you.
Earonn - 3 days ago
Speeders should lose their driving licence immediately. Oh, you have your mom with a heart attack in your car? Sure, go ahead. What, you're late for a work meeting with your boss? Sorry babe, your job isn't worth someone else's life, p**s off.
ShutUpGrumpy 2 days ago
Cw60 I signed up to boredpanda mainly so I could call you out! What is going on with your terrible grasp of English? Shut up grumpy!
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Seadog 1 day ago (edited)
Our city installed speed cameras last year on the road in front of the high school. It's just a money racket. The school is not accessible from this road, no one crosses this road to get to the school. there is nothing but trees across from the school. But go through there at more than 25 and the person whose name is first on the registration get s a $100 fine. Not you? Tough, you still get the ding on your license. Prove it wasn't you all you want, you're still getting dinged. And the judge refuses to do anything about it. How do I know? My sons EX has gotten 3 tickets there, his insurance has gone through the roof because his name is first on HER registration and DMV refuses to either remove his name or put hers first. Welcome to Virginia, from rigged elections to corrupt politicians and judges to corrupt agencies...corruption at its finest.
Finally, we asked MadBinton1996 what they thought of the replies to their post. "I enjoyed reading the comments. And the main surprise, as I mentioned before, is that there were so many people saying the same thing [that happened to me] happened to them!"
#10
In 7th grade gym, I messed up in volleyball causing my jerkwad classmate Paul to yell at me for not getting the ball, saying “this is why nobody likes you” At that moment from a few feet away and completely unrelated, a jokester classmate named John kicked a different volleyball and it smacked Paul right in the face as he was still yelling at me, knocking a tooth out of his mouth and he started bleeding.
I got detention for laughing. Worth it.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 days ago
Because åsshole adults in authority in schools always side with the åsshole kids. I bet not one adult even cared that Paul was a dîck to the OP in the first place.
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Upstaged75 2 days ago
I got kicked off the school bus for a week in middle school for laughing at the bus driver when she was yelling at me. 🤷♀️ I was a rotten little sh!t.
Load More Replies... #11
I was on a short domestic flight the other week - I was near the back of the plane. As soon as we landed and the seat belt sign went off, a guy a few rows behind me sprinted up the aisle. He got to pretty much the middle of the plane before other people had stood up and blocked his path.
5 mins later, they announced the backdoor was opened as well and we could depart from the rear. The guy went from potentially being one of the first off the plane (being right at the back) to being the last off the plane. As I left the back of the plane I could just see his head swiveling back and forth.
Michael Largey 3 days ago (edited)
The guy might have had a very close connection to make. But if you are in that situation, speak to the flight attendant. They can help you in ways that even rudeness can't.
K Barnes 1 day ago
I've been on a few flights where they've made an announcement that several passengers have close connections to make, please allow them to disembark first. Many people ignore it (of course) but I always appreciate when they do that.
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C .Hunger 3 days ago
When I am on a plane, I just accept the fact that I could be last. No biggie as long as I can stand. Other people may actually be in a legitimate hurry.
Wonnie-Cookie713 2 days ago
As long as I can stand is real! Sometimes I just can’t get up :P
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TiNaBoNiNa 3 days ago
The worst are the ones getting up before the plane even finishes taxiing.
GalPalAl 3 days ago
I absolutely cannot stand when people act impatient near me. Get over yourself, wait your turn and take responsibility for you own inability to be patient. I don't like feeling that I am being rushed by you whether standing in line or driving. It rasises my blood pressure for no reason
Felice Coles 3 days ago
However, when the plane is late, making connections tight, it's always the GalPal who takes every piece of personal luggage (usually two carry-ons and an extracted shopping bag) out of the overhead bin at the speed of molasses, puts on a coat, arranges the hair, checks phone messages, and generally blocks the aisle for the poor schmucks trying to make another flight so as not to be left in the airport for 24 hours. "I don't like being rushed!" says The Center of the Universe.
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Gordon Hall 1 day ago
What they forget is that everybody has to wait for the steps to arrive, the shuttle bus to arrive and, possibly, still stand in line at the luggage carousel. It is pointless even trying to hurry.
#12
A big pick up truck was tailgating me on an ice covered road. When we got to a straightaway, he gunned it to pass me on a double yellow line. He immediately spun out and hit a sign post. No injuries but he did some nice damage to his truck.
Jo Firth 2 days ago
And Australia - any double line no matter what the colour is.
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Glen Ellyn 2 days ago
Watch a few dashcam videos on YouTube and see just how bad drivers are and the stunts they pull to get wherever they're going. It's actually a good learning tool to see the kinds of things you should watch out for when you're driving.
Seadog 1 day ago
Where I live, you better look both ways at any intersection or road crossing, even if it's one way traffic. Traffic lights? Far too many treat them as if they're just Christmas decorations. Especially if the driver is in a Vette or Cadillac. IF they even stop for a red, they won't wait for the green.
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Brandi VanSteenwyk 1 day ago
Gotta love it when tailgaters get their just desserts. After one ornery gal repeatedly hugged my rear end in the HOV (NO passing/exit until specifically allowed) lane. I tried to kindly get her off by tapping my brakes and/or slowing down, to no avail. Finally, I actually depressed my brake pedal and OH MY MY, did I get a reaction!! Of course I couldn't see into the lower recesses of her vehicle but it was pretty obvious that her morning coffee must've gone flying when she reacted. As she swung around me (illegally passing of course), hanging out her window and yelling obscenities, all I could do was smile and wave.
#13
This was back when I worked 3rds. I was on my way to work, sitting at a traffic light waiting to turn left. Some teenagers pulled up beside me to go straight. Right when the light turned green, they got me in the right eye with a green laser pointer and sped off. I merged over and followed them (a very bad idea in hindsight). I wasn't going to chase them down or anything, I just wanted to spook them. I guess they were scared because they ran a red light and *instantly* got pulled over by the cops. I was a little shaken from seeing them run the light, but I was hooting and hollering when karma fell on them.
Rahb in Oz 1 day ago
Pointing lasers at people is very dangerous and could blind them. NOT funny.
Seadog 1 day ago
And just like kids shooting people with paint balls, sooner or later, someone shoots back for real and suddenly the parents of the troublemakers are all up about how could anyone shoot at their precious little angel.
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nottheactualphoto 2 days ago
I'm well acquainted with the term "third shift," having worked it for a few years. But "3rds" is an extremely poor way to express the idea.
#14
Some tourist in Uganda (a very poor country btw) was arguing with a ranger over some tax in a national park. Like a few dollars worth of tax. My group left him to argue and left with a different ranger to go see Some rhinos. We found a mother and calf eating grass and interacting sweetly with each other. We had about 20 solid minutes watching them. It as magical. Especially the little calf which was so bloody cute. By the time the angry guy showed up, the rhinos were done feeding and laid down in the grass. All you could see was the mother's ears sticking up and the calf was not visible at all. The ranger said they will probably stay like that for the next few hours before getting up to eat right before dusk. Sucks to be that guy.
T Barth 3 days ago
Correct me if I'm wrong but...that IS a BIRD on the rhino on the left isn't it?! On the snout?
JustineB 3 days ago
Yes. There's a type of bird that has a symbiotic relationship with rhinos. They eat ticks and bugs off the rhino.
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#15
Guy cut in line at starbucks and spilled his drink on himself two seconds later.
Tostones 2 days ago
Staining would be better. No need for injury to anything but ego.
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K Barnes 1 day ago
Weird that Zig Zag got so downvoted for pointing out something that makes no sense in this post. You can't cut in the line to get your drink at Starbucks, only the line to order, so he could not have spilled 2 seconds later if he cut in line. He could have cut in line and spilled when he got his drink. I'll take my downvotes now.
Crystalwitch60 3 days ago
Nooo lol he instantly spilt his drink on him when he picked it up !
Load More Replies... #16
We were about 3 cars back in a left turn lane at a red light. The turn lane and straight lanes turned green at the same time. Everyone moves except the moron directly in front of us. We beeped and she finally looks up from her phone and slowly moves forward while the turn signal cycles to yellow then red right as she enters the intersection. Sheriffs Deputy was proceeding next to us in the straight lanes when this happened. He immediately turns left behind her, lights her up and is writing her a ticket when we next got the green light.
Chich the witch 3 days ago
Yet most new vehicles come with a tablet in the dash that you have to fiddle with for everything.
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Mike Rodrick 3 days ago
These are the drivers who p**s me off like no others even without a phone. They sit at a green left turn arrow not paying attention, causing others to have to wait for another light, or the person behind them doing the same after the 1st in line has already moved. You can see enough space between them for 2 or 3 cars to have gotten through the light after they finally move. 🤬🤬🤬
Seadog 1 day ago
One of my drivers was 5th car back, behind a Crown Vic (we all know what that means) and the light turns green, #1 & 2 go, #3 just sitting there on her phone. Cop toots, #3 flips him off and floors it right through the now red light. When my driver got the next green, cop was writing her up at the next intersection.
Glen Ellyn 2 days ago
In a number of jurisdictions, police are patrolling on motorcycles so they can drive right up to the driver's door and see if the driver is distracted by being on his phone.
michael Chock 3 days ago
I never beep for these people. I have watched many drivers miss the green light.
#17
I was a Walmart cart pusher for 5 years. Brutal job, but countless opportunities for mischief and mayhem.
One day, this boomer drives his official Grand Prix pace car to Walmart and takes up four parking spots so it would be safe from door dings. I waited till he and his wife go inside and then I put a note on his car that said I scratched his car to teach him a lesson. Because I was working the parking lot, I was there to see his reaction when he came out. He went nuts when he found the note and screamed at his wife and then spend the next 30 minutes searching for the non existent scratch. He even had his hood up examining the engine bay.
Debby Keir 3 days ago
agreed, poor wife, but that is extremely funny and no one got hurt.
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Brian Droste 3 days ago
I thought you was going to take a bunch of carts and surround his car with them.
Janissary35680 3 days ago
Extra points for ziptying the carts together at random.
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JL 3 days ago
If you want to park like an ass to protect your precious car, do it in the most remote corner of the lot where no one else wants to park -- unless it's Christmas time and all spots are full. In that case, stay home because the shoppers are probably already in an ill mood and there may be nothing left of your car upon your return.
Lady Eowyn 3 days ago
Almost downvoted for "boomer," unless you specify an age I will always downvote the word. But the rest of you story - not doing any damage but making him think you did - changed my mind.
#18
When I was about 12, I kicked my best friend and broke my leg.
B Hobbs 3 days ago
Only bone I have ever broken was my sister's arm. It was a few hours before I even considered sitting.
B Hobbs 3 days ago
Child corporal punishment laws have not always been around. I am ... (six from five ... carry the square root of negative two) ... bugger, I was born late 1950s, this happened early 1970s. Very different society then.
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Chuck the Cat 3 days ago (edited)
I've never broken a bone, but I did fracture a couple of my fingers when I was about 8. It happened in November when it was icy and I slipped on some water inside the house (must have walked it in).
#19
I saw somebody decide that everybody was driving too slow on the highway during a blizzard. So they went into the second lane which wasn't plowed and had no cars in it (everyone was following each other in single file), and decided to go fast. Not 400' later they were in the ditch.
Lady Eowyn 3 days ago
FAFO. I won't drive during bad weather anymore. Not because I doubt my skills, but because of all the other jackasses on the road.
#20
In 2nd grade this boy always picked on me. Punching, smacking, hair pulling, kicking, etc. then one day I’m sitting on top of the monkey bars and he’s pulling my arm and hitting me to make me fall, I tell him to stop or I’ll push him off. He didn’t stop so I shoved him off. He fell and broke his arm. Left me alone after that. He ended up apologizing in high school and admitted he had a crush on me and that’s why he was a jerk.
Chuck the Cat 3 days ago
Yeah, I never get why people bully people they have a crush on. If you like them, surely you wouldn't want them to be hurt?
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Chuck the Cat 9 hours ago (edited)
Really? Somehow, I find that to be a little bit sexist. Don't overgeneralise things. It would be the same if I said "Typically, women wear pink and love shopping for bags and shoes and clothes". Ok, a lot of them do, but a lot of them don't. Same with your comment.
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ChipsAndDip 2 days ago
same thing happened to me when i was in 7th grade. except me, my best friend and his best friend all shoved him off.
#21
My sister's friend made fun of me because she got her food at the restaurant first, then the waitress spilled her meal into her lap.
#22
Little league game: dad telling hi kid loudly to watch what he was doing at all times, then he walked right into the light pole and fell backwards.
Seadog 1 day ago
Those people make terrible bosses because they have the same attitude for their employees and their "do as I say" is often not the best or right way. Those are bosses that usually have a high turn over.
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#23
I once had a person in a Cadillac undertake me on the interstate then proceeded to bob and weave around several more cars passing on the left and right. I was hoping for a cop to magically appear. But they weren't needed because the idiot lost control and went head first into the concrete divide. Fortunately he didn't hit anyone else and everyone was able to slow down to get around them.
#24
I was giving my wife grief about always shaking out her shoes before putting them on. Then I went to put on my shoes, felt something wriggling inside. It was a giant desert centipede! 😱.
Dusty's mom 3 days ago
Those of us with cats who do their job well, know to check for small, unalived critters in the toes of our shoes.
Bumpuff 3 days ago
I have a small dog and have to check for tiny tennis balls that he likes to put in my shoes! :D
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Jumping Jellyfishes 3 days ago (edited)
Learned about shoe-checking at an early age. Put on some skates, felt something odd on my foot and when I pulled my foot out, there was cockroach sitting on it. (GAAH!) Later in life, I knew of two people who were nailed by brown recluse spiders that were camped out in their shoes.
Chuck the Cat 3 days ago
Eughhh! I'm so glad we rarely (if ever) have any brown recluses here in the UK.
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 3 days ago
It's bred into us here to shake out our shoes, and gloves, and hats, and reusable shopping bags - anything that's been left sitting outside. Take no chances ;)
TiNaBoNiNa 2 days ago
I grew up in the desert SW of the US. I learned to check early on. Thankfully, the worst I ever found was a cockroach! Apparently, the spiders and scorpions weren't brave enough to venture into there.
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Don't listen to me 3 days ago
Sounds like Australia. In India we shook out our shoes for the small scorpions.
BookFanatic 3 days ago
The first time I visited my friends in Arizona, they warned me to check my shoes before I put them on. I thought they were messing with the out-of-towner until the husband pointed at a nearby scorpion.
Chuck the Cat 3 days ago
When I was about 9, it was a school day and I was putting on my school shoes, when my foot wouldn't fit in for some reason. When I took my foot out, guess what jumped out? A toad! A literal toad! I have no idea where it came from because we didn't even live in a rural area or anything (not the city, but not the countryside either).
Hobby Hopper 3 days ago
I learned the hard way to shake my shoes out. Critters that come out at night sometimes stay out too long and look for a quick place to shelter once morning comes, like your shoes.
🩶🩷Marvin HoG🩷🩶 1 day ago
One time when I was a kid I put my shoe on and felt something moving against my toe. It was a spider. I've shaken my shoes out before I put them on every single time since
#25
I was helping my dad build a shed. I have a bad back (disc issues) and took a few 3 minute breaks when it gets too painful. He started telling me I'm just lazy. I cried. He nailed 3 of his fingers together with the framing nail gun, and I had to drive him to the ER.
Dusty's mom 3 days ago
Hope you got a disc diagnosis to flap in his face. He's your dad. He should have been concerned about your pain.
Chich the witch 2 days ago
Shortly after I had moved out and was on my own I went over to help dad build a shed. He started his usual nonsense and initially I said nothing but then realized that I didn't live there anymore. Put my tools down and said if he didn't want my help I had better things to do at home and was leaving. Bit of a wake up for him.
#26
Boss chewed me out for something stupid publicly on the sales floor of a grocery store. When she was done she tried to walk through these large double swinging doors and someone was coming out full speed with an overload cart full of stuff to stock and knocked her in her back. I asked if she was ok and then laughed uncontrollably.
Bill Swallow 3 days ago
I'd bet she got knocked *on* her back, and the commenter made a typo.
Load More Replies... #27
I was riding the tram home one afternoon and a few seats in front of me was this scruff with her feet on the empty seats, eating sweets and throwing the papers on the floor. Absolutely vile and disrespectful.
She got off at the same stop as me, only to be stopped by the ticket inspectors for not having a ticket and fined on the spot.
#28
An aggressive driver turned around to flip me off and promptly got T boned in the intersection.
Bill Swallow 3 days ago
And rest assured, in their mind, it was all *your* fault, because if you hadn't been inconveniencing them, they never would have gotten hit. To sheol with them.
#29
Was walking one time with my friend in a very rough area
A group of guys were kind of on both sides of a narrow path we had to walk through
They were trying to really intimidate us
As my friend is gay and Im unconventional looking
As soon as we passed them, I mean less then a second a car drove by and egged them all
I felt like that was the universe kinda getting them for tryna make us feel uncomfortable
felt like a perfect benign hilarious universal justice.
Cee Cee 3 days ago
Text typing does not look like your posts that's for sure. BTW you can criticise without being aggressively insulting. So much for your frequently boasted empathy which belies your sorry avatar.
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Val 3 days ago
You literally didn't use any of those in your run on sentence. "One comma, one period and using the space button instead of punctuation is considered bad grammar."
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#30
I was at this night club just down the street from where I lived at the time, and noticed this nerdy looking fella approach a woman and asked her to dance. She shot him down immediately, and by the looks of it she wasn't sugarcoating it either, so our nerd friend slinked away and parked at the bar instead.
A few minutes later the woman was dancing, and asked this blonde guy standing at the outskirts of the dance floor for a dance. He pointed to his friend, who was the nerdy guy from earlier, and while I couldn't hear them over the music she was apparently rude enough earlier to make the blonde guy tell her to get lost. So now it was her turn to slink away, and I was all like "Ooooh, karma!".
Mike F 3 days ago
In reply to Debby Keir, what I gleaned was that it was the verbiage used, not the fact that she turned him down. You can indeed turn someone down, for anything, man or woman, but you don't need to be a pri©k about it.
Deborah B 3 days ago
It's a question of saying "No thank you." as opposed to insulting someone for asking.
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#31
One time, a guy at the coffee shop was trying to cut in line and totally ignoring everyone behind him. He’s smirking, acting like he’s above it all. Then just as he leaves the counter carrying his coffee, he slips on a little puddle and drops his coffee all over himself. In front of everyone he was trying to skip past.
#32
Not me but my sister, she once saw this car with two people in it driving horribly, weaving in and out of traffic and apparently having a great time scaring people. The passenger throws a beer bottle out in front of the car. It shatters, they drive right over it and it flattens a tire. .
Bob Brooce 3 days ago
Right. Maybe if they had tires that were made in 1920 or were 20k miles past replacement time.
ZombieMommy 3 days ago
Do you honestly think people acting like that are going to have high dollar tires? Not to mention it depends on how big the shards are and how you hit them.
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#33
Was at an NFL game and afterwards this guy was talking smack to a random couple in the other team’s jerseys. He was walking forward and looking back talking - wham! Right into a metal stop sign and he goes down hard! Everyone had a good laugh at his expense.
Debby Keir 3 days ago
If that'd been football, then it wouldn't have needed a stop sign for the same result....
#34
When someone cuts me off and immediately gets cut off by someone else. It brings me pleasure.
Pheebs 3 days ago
My fav is people being in a giant hurry tailgating, back and forth in lanes, and cutting people off. They get around you and take off, only for you to pull up to the same light as them a minute later. Bonus if you end up far in front of them after the light because they got stuck in traffic again.
Gadaffi Duck 3 days ago
Had a BMW do this when I was a learner driver, unfortunately for him I wasn't a nervous learner. I dropped down to 10mph in single lane traffic in a residential zone (limit was 30mph) and stayed that way for 3 miles before I put my foot down and disappeared on to the parkway.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 3 days ago
It gives me relief because both idiots are now in front of me and disappearing from view.
Jumping Jellyfishes 3 days ago
When someone is cutting people off as they weave from lane to lane to get ahead, and then you end up beside them later at a traffic light.
#35
I was walking at night and saw a guy in a fancy car with his lights off. I tried to signal that his lights were off, he did the same signal back and flipped me off.
I saw him get pulled over 10 seconds later.
#36
There was a big traffic jam and the dude behind me was darting back and forth between lanes aggressively without a signal until finally pulling off to the shoulder and speeding past. I hear a crash and then inched by where he rear-ended another car with the same idea.
#37
Maybe not best but first one I remember. As kids my friend spits gum out of the car window. We get to the destination, friend steps out of the car onto a piece of gum. Hot asphalt in the summer, that gum is hard to remove.
#38
Me. I was boasting at a basketball game that my family never gets sick, and not 3 minutes later my 5 year old niece projectile vomits in my lap.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 3 days ago
I was bragging the first night of summer camp that I never threw up, hadn't in years. That night during the welcome ceremony, I think a combination of eating too much at dinner and the heat got to me and I threw up behind a tree. I almost missed the camp's most fun activity because of it, one night a session they did "Mission Impossible." You never knew what night it would happen on, you'd be walking back to your cabin and the music would start and immediately everyone ran back to their cabin to dress in all black and we got to sneak around the camp in the dark, collecting clues for whatever mystery they did that year and afterwards we all got a special snack. They did it on the very first night that year, something they'd never done before, and when the music started I was still in the nurse's cabin. I begged them to let me go, that I was feeling better, and luckily they let me!
Michael Largey 3 days ago
I've seen some baseball games where that would have been the cleanest catch all nine innings.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 3 days ago
She would have immediately gotten the same back, if that were me >.<
#39
My ex one day he went to hit me during an argument. The moment he swung, he dislocated his shoulder, and I had to hold off from laughing.
Michael Largey 3 days ago
Beating someone up during an argument settles who's right only if you are arguing over who can beat up who.
#40
One kid got to the bus as the door was closing in the rain and the driver didn't open and let him on. So he ran to the next stop and beat the bus there and got on and we all cheered him and booed the bus driver. The kid got on and didn't pay just walked right on to applause and the bus driver didn't say a word.
GalPalAl 3 days ago
Was working in an office with a group of twenty somethings who act like they are above everyone. Got to the elevator seconds behind them to see them desperately trying to use the close door button to keep me from joining them. Made me smile. Many years later I learned the door close button has no function and is only there to make people believe it works. Smart design in that one. Thanks!
TiNaBoNiNa 2 days ago
Too bad you didn't rip a good when they were all trapped ub there with you.
Load More Replies... Felice Coles 3 days ago
Bus driver in Phoenix didn't want little old white-haired shuffling me to have the senior citizen discount (why, thank you, kind sir! I DO look youthful!) and asked loudly, "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" I said in my sugary sweet southern accent, "My gracious, young man, a lady never tells her age." Sat down to appreciative laughter.
#41
A friend at work tried to gossip about someone and realized that person was literally right behind her.
Cat 1 day ago (edited)
ehhh its like 30 percent karma 70 percent b***h. EDIT: B|TCH
Load More Replies... ChipsAndDip 2 days ago
this one happened to me several times, but got the glory of hearing her private information if i stayed quiet enough. I wonder who spread it around? 😉
#42
Wife and I were walking around California Adventure. We had to step around an obstacle / person and in the process, apparently got in front of someone else.
Said someone else proceeded to make a minor huffing sound, step to the side, and charge forward. Love that he was in a hurry and staring down at his phone, because that distraction is what allowed him to plow straight into one of the light poles on Buena Vista Street with his forehead.
We had to restrain ourselves till we get out of earshot of this cat.
#43
1993. Me not paying to get into the frat’s kegger and then immediately falling down the stairs to their basement. I was already drunk.
StrawberryCyxnide 7 hours ago
Y'all have got to get better at recognizing jokes/sarcasm.
Load More Replies... #44
Pointing and belly laughing at friends on their hands and knees throwing up after an all you can drink day trip, within 30 seconds, I was right next to them doing the same. We were all laughing at that point.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 days ago
There’s a stage of life when people do stuff like this—it’s a rite of passage. Most people don’t need to do it more than once or twice.
Load More Replies... Colleen Glim 2 days ago
What is the actual point of getting that drunk? Seems like a waste of money and you feel like shite the next day
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What do you think ?
Jennik 3 days ago
Years ago I was waiting for my coffee order in a cafe. I had my daughter with me - she was a toddler and still quite unsteady on her feet. A guy came in and pushed past everyone, including my daughter. She lost her balance and clutched his leg to avoid falling over and he shook her off. She had very chocolatey hands from a treat the barista had given her. He was wearing beige chinos. Some very unfortunate brown stains in very awkward places on the chinos. I said nothing.
moggiemoo 3 days ago
I would have pointed it out. "Hey mate, have you s**t yourself?"
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Nova Rook 3 days ago
One time as an older teen a buddy and me were walking across a parking lot in the winter and was a sheet of ice. We were both taunting each other about not falling down like a little baby - and then as if an unseen hand reached out we both slipped hard and fell on our butts like we were synchronized. We both had a good laugh about that.
Mike F 3 days ago (edited)
When I first came out here to West Michigan from the e Detroit area the company put me up in a hotel until I found a place to live. The hotel was outside of the Grand Rapids area and I had to take the expressway to get there. One day it was snowing pretty heavily and the road surface was pretty well covered and traffic was moving at a crawl. A guy driving a POS pick up came down the entrance ramp (in a hurry apparently) and punched it at the bottom of the ramp. He began turning circles on the highway that a figure skater would be jealous of. How that meat head didn't hit anyone is miracle, plain and simple. He finally came to rest by crashing into a concrete abutment.
Jennik 3 days ago
Years ago I was waiting for my coffee order in a cafe. I had my daughter with me - she was a toddler and still quite unsteady on her feet. A guy came in and pushed past everyone, including my daughter. She lost her balance and clutched his leg to avoid falling over and he shook her off. She had very chocolatey hands from a treat the barista had given her. He was wearing beige chinos. Some very unfortunate brown stains in very awkward places on the chinos. I said nothing.
moggiemoo 3 days ago
I would have pointed it out. "Hey mate, have you s**t yourself?"
Load More Replies... Nova Rook 3 days ago
One time as an older teen a buddy and me were walking across a parking lot in the winter and was a sheet of ice. We were both taunting each other about not falling down like a little baby - and then as if an unseen hand reached out we both slipped hard and fell on our butts like we were synchronized. We both had a good laugh about that.
Mike F 3 days ago (edited)
When I first came out here to West Michigan from the e Detroit area the company put me up in a hotel until I found a place to live. The hotel was outside of the Grand Rapids area and I had to take the expressway to get there. One day it was snowing pretty heavily and the road surface was pretty well covered and traffic was moving at a crawl. A guy driving a POS pick up came down the entrance ramp (in a hurry apparently) and punched it at the bottom of the ramp. He began turning circles on the highway that a figure skater would be jealous of. How that meat head didn't hit anyone is miracle, plain and simple. He finally came to rest by crashing into a concrete abutment.
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