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While childhood is full of wonders, most folks go through it absolutely itching to be grown up. Cake for dinner, bedtimes banned and banished. This is all actually quite possible, but with it comes the endless tasks, like the laundry and dishes. On the brighter side, adults can take refuge in the fact that these experiences are at least pretty universal, and, in the right light, even pretty funny.
We’ve gathered some of the funniest and most relatable tweets about the realities of adulthood. So get comfortable as you scroll through, prepare to possibly feel the pain of being understood, upvote your favorite examples and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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#7
LillieMean 12 months ago
Amateur, I surf the net to avoid making that list in the first place. You can't stress about undone things if they don't exist. Denial, what a wonderful state of being.
#9
Tucker Cahooter 12 months ago
"Ironing" of course omitted from this list. It's just going to get wrinkled again anyway
#14
keyboardtek 12 months ago
I read that dust is just flakes of human skin cells. If that is true, then how do all those empty haunted houses get so much dust when no one has lived in them for 100 years?
#19
Geoffrey Scott 12 months ago
I've come up with some hacks for this. Spinach? slice of bread in the tightly rolled and rubber banded bag. Asparagus? Wet paper towel in the bottom of the produce bag from the store. They last WAY longer before going slimy.
#20
Joseph Miller 12 months ago
Ingredients that need your time and energy to put together to then _finally_ be able to eat.
#21
Lost Panda 12 months ago
"I'll just watch a little and then finish it tomorrow" *3 months later* "What is going on? Guess I'll have to start over"
#22
Geoffrey Scott 12 months ago
"Yeah...thanks person who cannot fathom how to park between the lines, or clown driving a Smart car, who pulls all the way in, oh..there's ..damn"
#24
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 12 months ago
I f*****g love birds, i am planning on befriending some crows
#29
#33
The Doom Song 12 months ago
1. Milk 2. Eggs 3. Bread 4. Cheese 5. Dog food 6. Vodka 7. Toilet paper
#34
AtMostAFabulist 12 months ago
I have to clean first, then recover from that. Clean again and shop. Then say screw it, and cancel.
#35
Dawn Marie 12 months ago
Going home and taking off my shoes and bra and collapsing onto the sofa. I might get up later, and then again I might not. I love being single, but being an empty nester is not for the faint of heart. But, I do love the quiet and not so much responsibility.
#36
#40
Dawn Marie 12 months ago
Or, the older you get the younger kids look. I ask a kid, who I thought was in middle school, if her was excited about going to high school? He looked at me funny and said and I quote: "Ma'am, I am 25 and in my fifth year of med. school." I over apologized and excused myself and left the party. uggg!!
#42
Libstak 12 months ago (edited)
It gets worse as you age. I care for my 82 yrs young mum. A specialist appointment 1 week away requires daily planning and on the day? It's at 1220pm, so naturally we need to be up and finished breakfast by 7am to make it on time because it's a whole 20 minutes from home and we can't be late dammit!!!
#45
Steve Robert 12 months ago
And it your sponge has seen better days years ago, but you still use it, then likely you're over 60.
#47
LakotaWolf (she/her) 12 months ago
I actually bought a variety pack of Push Pops candy for myself a couple of months ago. XD One of my favorite fun candies as a kid. When I finish them, Ring Pops are next!!
#48
Cosmos in your eyes 12 months ago (edited)
I love weather talk! It affects everything: growing season and what we eat (or don't), travel, the clothes we wear, etc. With the weather you can talk about anything! It's also the only safe topic for my dad and I to discuss together.
#51
Sanfranswty 12 months ago
When I had my first apartment, I would take grocery bags and just "shop" at my dad's while he was at work.
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George Costanza 12 months ago
The baby wakes up at 5:30-6:00 no matter what. If I'm not in bed by ~9pm, there's zero chance I'm getting enough sleep. It's mandatory.
#68
Dawn Marie 12 months ago
I would love to be able to eat leftovers but I have Cibophobia. I am also a germophobic. I fear the germs that have gotten into the leftovers. I know I am weird@@
#74
#82
Geoffrey Scott 12 months ago
It's not the usual pains that concern me, it's the new ones that have no explanation.
#84
#86
BookFanatic 12 months ago
Yes. I live 1,700 miles (2,735 km) from one bestie and 1,000 miles (1,609 km) from the other. We all grew up in the same town.
#90
Cosmos in your eyes 12 months ago
rec soccer. I see my teammates once a week. Now we're friends. :-D
#94
Lost Panda 12 months ago
What could have been 10 minutes in and out has now turned into 30 minutes of searching and cursing the layout.
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#104
Aleksandras Tvardauskas 12 months ago
Looking forward to biometric identification everywhere. This password madness has to stop
#109
#111
Penguin Panda Pop 12 months ago (edited)
I'm the opposite! No exclamation marks because I rarely exclaim anything. Just drone on and on, and then read it back and add some to seem human. [edited to add an exclamation mark]
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Child of the Stars 12 months ago
Reading these is so strange for me. I grew up in a borderline cult and was taught from early childhood that women couldn't handle stress like higher education and home finances, so that's why they should be caregivers to children and care for the home and let their husbands have the education and careers and be in charge. It really screwed with my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. As a result, I spiraled into substance abuse and mental illness. I'm now 42 and a single mom. I've been through intensive therapy and have been sober almost 12 years. I enrolled in college last January and have completed 3 classes. This last semester, I took an algebra class and passed it--after years of believing that as a woman, I wasn't capable of understanding mathematics beyond arithmetic. For me, mundane adult responsibilities like holding a job and going to college is the opposite of an emotional drain. It's freedom.
Kyra Noelle 12 months ago
I am glad you got out and realized you are worth far more. <3
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Lost Panda 12 months ago
I realized I was old(er) when I finally understood why my grandfather loved to just sit on the porch with his smokes and coffee for hours on end.
Enlee Jones 12 months ago
Adulting - when you're excited about getting a new vacuum cleaner and/or can opener.
Child of the Stars 12 months ago
Reading these is so strange for me. I grew up in a borderline cult and was taught from early childhood that women couldn't handle stress like higher education and home finances, so that's why they should be caregivers to children and care for the home and let their husbands have the education and careers and be in charge. It really screwed with my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. As a result, I spiraled into substance abuse and mental illness. I'm now 42 and a single mom. I've been through intensive therapy and have been sober almost 12 years. I enrolled in college last January and have completed 3 classes. This last semester, I took an algebra class and passed it--after years of believing that as a woman, I wasn't capable of understanding mathematics beyond arithmetic. For me, mundane adult responsibilities like holding a job and going to college is the opposite of an emotional drain. It's freedom.
Kyra Noelle 12 months ago
I am glad you got out and realized you are worth far more. <3
Load More Replies... Lost Panda 12 months ago
I realized I was old(er) when I finally understood why my grandfather loved to just sit on the porch with his smokes and coffee for hours on end.
Enlee Jones 12 months ago
Adulting - when you're excited about getting a new vacuum cleaner and/or can opener.
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