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For reasons unknown, a sport where a bunch of dudes or gals run around and dunk an orange ball into a raised hula-hoop became a global phenomenon. A sport where tickling someone is a legit reason for a fault. A game that made countries into win-or-die rivalries. A sport that’s incredibly exciting to watch for the very same unknown reasons. Yup, we are talking about basketball, and basketball jokes are a tool that expresses our thoughts on it the best. So, strap on your shoelaces, and let’s run to the court of jokes about basketball together.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these definitely emphasize the importance of the aforementioned ball and its position in the court (not like a law court, though). One might even think that this oversized orange is the most important part of the game! Wait, you say it is? Okay, we’ll trust you, then. These funny basketball jokes also talk about the rivalry created by two (usually) equally good teams finding themselves in an arena and trying to sort out who is, in fact, better than the rest. Well, there’s no denying that even if you don’t know the rules, this frenzy is quite exciting to watch! Of course, there are plenty of other things these silly jokes try to encompass, but we’d rather not discuss them all and leave some things for you to discover on your own.
So, our picks of the best basketball jokes are just a bit further down. Once you get to them, give the best jokes about sports your vote so they’ll find their way to the top of this list. Lastly, be sure to share these hilarious jokes with your friends who share the same passion for this intricate and exciting game!
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#1
Offensively, James Harden is outstanding. Defensively, he’s just out standing.
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#2
How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire? One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
#7
Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society. They really are people to look up to.
#14
What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common? They both get negative returns.
#20
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. But he gets money, a car, and four credit hours for it.
#22
Did you hear that the USC basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament? The rest can dress themselves.
#29
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next? A basketball coach.
#30
Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA? Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.
#31
God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell. “I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here: Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.” “I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, we have all the referees.”
#39
What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
#40
What is the difference between a Suns fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after a while.
#54
Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle? Because of the cheetahs.
#56
Tennis has taught me that I can be better at basketball. Why? Because it’s nothing but net when I play.
#62
Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the Torontosaurus Rexes.
#63
They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall. They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.
#68
Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited? Because he was always putting on Airs.
#72
Been watching basketball lately, and I have to say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant. He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.
#73
Why did the basketball team join a craft club? Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets!
#82
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball and the 17th president? Magic Johnson.
#86
Why does every tech company have a basketball hoop in the parking lot? So people won’t have troubleshooting.
#88
Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team? Because then New York City would want one too.
#89
Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens? He was learning how to draw fowls.
#94
What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV? The Minnesota Timberwolves.
#102
Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums? Because they play dead at home and they die on the road.
#103
What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog? One drools; the other dribbles.
#105
I hear that Mr. Worldwide often gets called out in basketball. He’s always trying to travel.
#106
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score? Slam Drunk!
#108
What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players? Basketball players get actual injuries.
#112
Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together? He shoots, he scores.
#120
I was playing basketball with my 13 year old son and I beat him. I probably wouldn't have if he hadn't won.
#121
Several minutes ago, the portly bald wizard made a basketball appear out of thin air. I guess he was a sportscaster.
#123
I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Boston Celtics laid tonight.
#124
Legend has it that basketball used to be played with glass beads, and we only started using rubber balls in the 1900s. Switching was indeed a marbleless idea.
#126
What policy means that ant schools are forced to expel their most promising basketball players? Zero taller-ants.
#129
Why is the Westminister Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden? Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there.
#131
Why did the elephants stampede the basketball court? They wanted to play for the chargers.
#132
Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court? It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
#133
What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans? Treasury bonds eventually mature.
#137
My buddy opened a tavern for basketball players, and there are already imitators. Good thing he set the bar so high.
#139
Did you hear about the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink? Scottie Slippen.
#141
The lake trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.
#143
A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens. They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.
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