35 Women Share What’s The Most Insulting Thing They’ve Heard From Their Employers
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There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect’ workplace, but that’s no reason not to try and make it one. No matter how you swing things, the bosses and managers are at the core of each and every organization. And every little thing that they do affects everyone else, like ripples in a corporate pond.
So when your boss is an energetic, supportive, empowering leader, everything will go swimmingly. However, far from everyone is lucky to have one of these, as some women have been sharing on Reddit.
Prompted by user BayAreaDreamer on the r/AskWomen subreddit, they have been opening up about the most insulting things their bosses have said to them and… it’s horrible. There’s no other way to put it—there’s no place for such language and such views in modern society. Have a read for yourselves, dear Pandas.
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I’m a firefighter. I’m also a woman. A few years ago I had one of my officers tell me “you should really consider a different career... women’s bodies are just not designed to withstand this job.”
He ended up having to retire early last year due to a shoulder injury.
My old boss told me multiple times that I'm lucky he's married, because he wouldn't be able to control himself if he wasn't.
He would also tell me that I would make an amazing personal assistant/Secretary (I'm a systems analyst) for my looks alone. When I told him this was innapropriate he'd ask why I'm being hormonal.
I was on the verge of filing a sexual harassment complaint when he quit.
My girlfriend had a miscarriage last year at 6 months, she stayed at home after that for two weeks because she wasn't feeling good. When she came back her boss told her to man up a little, that it isn't a reason to stay at home...
The author of the thread, redditor BayAreaDreamer, told Bored Panda that the #MeToo movement did "a good job of bringing to light the various experiences women have far too often with sexual harassment and sexual violence."
"The sexism that's alive in workplaces and which the redditor has experienced is what drove them to ask other women to share their own stories. "I think this issue is a crosscutting one with issues of sexual violence also, since economic success and independence (or lack thereof) plays a big role in whether women are able to win respect publicly or leave domestic abusers privately," the redditor said.
“You need to stop referring to your wife. It’s making people uncomfortable.” This was in response to after asking how my weekend was and I said “my wife and I went to visit family in Minnesota.”
I was sitting at a table in the dining area and all but one person at that table were women. It's the first time I'd ever had the opportunity to sit at a table full of women and I was very excited to not be a token for once.
Boss walked by, shaking his head, "bunch of clucking hens"
Every single day for years I'd said nothing about being the only woman or being in a very small minority. Eating all my meals every day with all men, the lounge was full of men, everywhere you went it was groups of men.
Then women had the audacity to sit in close proximity and without even knowing what we were discussing, we were immediately written off?
Screw that guy.
I used to work as a barista and my boss literally said to me, "no wonder you get more tips, you've got the body for it" and then looked at my boobs. I felt really gross the rest of the day. It made me super self-conscious about the t-shirts I wear.
BayAreaDreamer said that speaking to HR is an option, however, this requires that there's actually a clear case of illegal behavior taking place. "[This] isn't always the case when it comes to subtler versions of sexism. Additionally, I have worked at organizations that don't have HR, and where I had an Executive Director basically accuse me of lying when I told him that a Senior employee was not only yelling at female employees and behaving in a generally aggressive and hostile manner but also had said that he came into the organization with the goal to take over from that same Executive Director (it was not a lie)."
They added: "In general, I think creating workplaces that are more welcoming of gender diversity is going to require creating organizations where there is close to gender parity in hiring at every level (not just lower-level staff, which is what often happens)."
I had dental work done when I was pregnant. I came to work with a numb and drooling mouth. My boss pulled me aside and whispered to me "isn't a shame how semen rots your teeth?" I was a 29/f at the time, he was a male in his 60s. So glad to no longer be working for this idiot.
When he was letting people go home early, my boss comes up to me and said “You’ve been a good girl. You can go.”
I was a grown ass woman in my thirties.
I once had the boss of my boss tell me, in front of most of my colleagues, to bring a cup of water to the partners into his office, because "the hottest woman of the office is out, and you're second on that list".
The water fountain was literally on his way from his office to my desk. Also, I am an IT specialist, and the entire firm was reliant on the job I (and the few other IT consultants of the firm) was doing. "Hottest woman" was the secretary, who was sleeping with a higher up, barely worked an hour or two a day, and made more than I did.
Bored Panda also wanted to get the redditor's opinion about what makes for a good boss or manager. In their opinion, accountability is a vital part of this. "In general, I think there is a tendency for many people (men and even sometimes women) to point at a man in a position of relative power who has behaved badly and say, 'We shouldn't punish him because that would risk destroying his career, and he adds value to the organization (or movement, in case of politicians).' However, I don't think enough people ask, 'What of value could these women have contributed if they weren't pushed out by hostile/inappropriate men? How can we justify the tremendous potential value that is being lost there?'
My boss at the comic book store knew I was anorexic and in recovery, which is why I ate little snacks constantly. He told me there was an alternate universe version of me who never ate but was enormously fat because of all my snacking and she didn't know why she kept getting bigger, that by eating I was torturing her.
Probably that
I asked for a raise, and my boss told me I didn't need one because my boyfriend made enough for the two of us.
And he knows your boyfriend's earnings how? Not that it matters though coz it is still not a good enough reason.
Job 1: After asking for help for 3 months, working 60-80 hour weeks. “I don’t care if you have to stay up all night to do your job. Get it done”
Job 2: women aren’t allowed on the company trip because there’s alcohol involved and we want to keep them safe.
Also Job 2: A manager comes to my office yelling at me cause I looked at him wrong and questioned his response to something. I’m not letting someone talk to me that way, he wouldn’t leave when asked, so I raised my voice and responded to his comments. I’m the one who got in trouble for yelling at a man. They also made him my manager after that.
I wasn’t there very long after these incidents.
They continued: "I'd like to see more people focusing on that latter set of questions, and striving to design workplaces where everyone can realize their full potential. Also, I learned about a cool technology tool some workplaces were experimenting with where people could report workplace sexual harassers anonymously online, and if two or more people both experienced issues with the same person, they'd automatically be notified and given the other's contact info so they could decide what steps to take next."
A system like that could have the power to change things for the better in the fight against workplace discrimination. "Often people in power who abuse their power deliberately do it in a way such that the person being targeted feels isolated and isn't sure if they're somehow responsible or not—so technology that can help employees identify patterns of problematic behavior makes sense to me."
"If I'd known you had tattoos, I probably wouldn't have hired you"
Had a female supervisor tell me that dressing slutty was distracting to my coworkers and I needed to cover up. I was wearing a plain womens v-neck tshirt, and khaki pants. I also only had one Male coworker, who worked on the opposite side of the building. She was just a salty old bi**h. I reported her for harrassment, she was transferred to another store, and then fired shortly after for the same behavior.
women support women. if she is comfortable enough with her body to wear that then congratulations to her!
Generally, if your boss or manager is harassing you, the first thing you should do is politely but firmly tell them that they’re being rude or that you feel uncomfortable. However, if you’re scared for your job, you should instead talk to your Human Resources department.
Unfortunately, while some HR departments are a true godsend, others are merely an extension of the boss’ influence. Naturally, some employees find that their complaints about legitimate issues fall on deaf ears or that they’re even reprimanded for raising the topic at all. If the insults, harassment, and bullying all persist, it’s time to think about litigation. It’s a last resort, but it shouldn’t be discounted if nothing else works and your life suffers.
At the end of the day, each and every one of us sets our own boundaries for what we’re willing to live with at work. If your bosses are being unresponsive, if the HR is unhelpful, and you find the quality of your work dropping because of the toxic atmosphere, it’s time to consider other options. You’re there to work, not be someone’s verbal and emotional punching bag.
My female coworker and I were prepping before the lunch shift at a restaurant. Male GM walks over and says, "You know, I had a dream about you two last night," pauses, reconsidering something, "No, I probably shouldn't tell you about it," smiles to himself, and walks away. We were so appalled and disgusted we just stood there, too stunned to say anything.
That a project I was managing was being moved to a Male colleague because it was more of a "mans project".
Remind them that if it takes a d**k to do a job you can go buy one MUCH BIGGER than the ones in the office so you have that all covered should the need arise.
When I was 16 I worked at a fast food place on weekends. One day I was opening up the place and preparing food etc. and my manager (easily late 40s/late 50s) walked in with new staff and was giving them a tour.
As he walked in, I was on my knees trying to fix something and he introduced me as “a typical woman always on her knees”. At the time I was still practically a shy kid and was in complete and utter shock and never said anything to anybody because I didn’t want to cause any trouble or create problems for myself. But after I quit the job I heard that he actually got suspended a couple of times for inappropriate comments to other women. I wish so much that I had the confidence back then to report him!
Here at Bored Panda, we’ve covered workplace topics in great depth: from issues with poor management and (un)helpful HR departments to the gender pay gap, sexism, and how the pandemic has affected women in the workforce.
Australian heart and lung surgeon Dr. Nikki Stamp told Bored Panda in an earlier interview that it’s mostly men who don’t believe in the existence of the gender pay gap. Some of them attribute the difference in wages not to sexism but to women deciding to have children.
“The reason that this is problematic is that it isn’t economic or legal actions that will resolve the gender pay gap but cultural changes. If people don’t even believe something exists, how can we change it?” Dr. Stamp said.
"We're excited to have you here. And not just because you're a beautiful woman." This happened last year. VP of my department. I've since left the company.
My boss accused me of having an affair with another married coworker, then said, 'Or if you haven't yet, you will.'
Reducing the gender pay gap increases women’s workforce participation and reduces the amount of housework they do while their spouses end up doing more chores than they do currently.
“But of course, women have also been shown to do more chores at home than their husbands even when they earn more money. However, these are big cultural changes requiring us to upend long-standing social structures. Recognizing that we experience the world differently depending on our gender would be a good start,” Dr. Stamp said.
'You are great at your job, but you are not pretty enough to think that should get you anywhere.'
In 2004 or 5 a boss asked me if my partner and I had had sex the night before and what were are most frequently chosen sex positions. It was out of nowhere and in front of three other employees.
Other women had problems with him and complained about him to each other. I decided to talk to my line manager about this and all the other female employees denied he had ever said anything that made them uncomfortable or that they disliked it.
I was more disappointed in my coworkers letting me take the fall in truth. Though I understand their need to keep their jobs and not rock the boat.
Speak up! It's the silence that allows them to keep this behavior! I know it's not easy and sometimes it comes with great cost, but something needs to be done.
I had a female manager at a clothing store look at me at 19 and tell me that I was too smart for any boy to actually like me. I needed to dumb myself down or I would be alone forever.
Joke is on her because at 35 she is an ‘aspiring’ Instagram model with almost no followers and I am with an engineer who loves my quick wit. And thankfully I’m not in retail any more.
According to Eddy Ng, the James and Elizabeth Freeman Professor of Management at Bucknell University in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, women are underrepresented at senior levels in jobs.
“They don’t fit the prototype of what leaders look like. They often lacked the preparation, not in terms of qualifications, but the socialization necessary to ascend to elite levels. Some of these are political skills, some are sponsorships, and some are social capital acquired at the golf courses and locker rooms, and few women partake in these socialization activities,” Professor Ng told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.
“Women make less than men because they are concentrated in lower-paying professions or lower-paying industries, even for female executives and CEOs. Think CEO for a cosmetics company vs. CEO for a manufacturing company,” he said.
Requested paperwork to file a formal sexual harassment complaint against a coworker. Was asked by the restaurant owner who it was about, and when I told him he laughed and waved me off because this other person "was harmless"... Nevermind that he'd started following me to the restroom, out to my car...
Luckily he never actually got his hands on me. I quit. No money is worth my safety. And this creeper was apparently deported lol vindication! I'm sure the boss man is still there though.
When I was working as a bakery manager for a gas station, my shift started at 4:30, so I had time to get breakfast ready. No one else was waiting for me to get there. I clocked in one morning at 4:35, and my boss said, "You know there are plenty of jobs you can get lying on your back". I ended up clocking out and going home. I filed a complaint against him but was told it was a he said, she said situation and they couldn't do anything about it.
I was pulled in to his office and asked if I was pregnant. I told him, but I had in fact gained a bit of weight. Thanks for noticing, but I'm not pregnant. He then insisted, telling me it would be hard to find a replacement so I should tell him now. It then got out and I had coworkers teasing me about my food baby. That part I could laugh off, but I'm still insulted even I think back to that exchange with my manager.
The professor said that “taste discrimination—paying women less than men for doing the same job” is something else that we have to take into account. “Women rely on other women for sources of (compensation) information and mentorship. This, in turn, has the unintended effect of receiving inaccurate/discounted information from women mentors who are being paid less themselves, and then forming lower expectations.”
Professor Ng continued: “Inaccurate information, lower expectations, and negotiation styles lead women to negotiate lower salaries at the start of their careers, and this gets magnified as women progress through their careers. Career interruptions (to start a family) also exacerbate the pay gap, and men rarely interrupt their careers to start a family.”
While the pandemic has greatly affected women in the workforce, it’s racialized women who have felt the brunt of the disruptions. According to Professor Ng, they are “often employed in low-skill jobs and in industries that are primed to be automated.” He said: “Think meatpacking, grocery shopping, and other service-based jobs. The pandemic accelerated the automation because of health and safety needs. It also temporarily or permanently eliminated many service and hospitality jobs because of lockdowns.”
Not towards me but he fired a coworker for taking "too many days off" to go to her boyfriend's "birthday." In reality her bf had to get a major operation done and it was only 2 days off - which she told him in advance and those 2 days also made up for her overtime hours.
Another time was when he told me he didn't want to hire a candidate (which I and everyone else thought was a great fit) because she might be a "liability." It was because she told us in the interview that she had to leave her previous job because of constant sexual harassment. That really opened my eyes to how gross of a person he is. I left that job shortly after.
Oh boy I've got some good ones.
Most recently, however, was something that happened not to me, but to a co-worker. Her grandmother passed away after a long illness, and she went to the funeral a few days later. She came back to work for the evening shift the same day as the funeral, and the manager told her (in front of several other staff members) - "This is customer service darling. For gods sake, put a smile on, yeah?"
Back when I was interning for a PR company, one of my male supervisors told me to forward some contracts to a magazine we were working with. I did as I was told, only to be yelled at by my boss for doing it. He then calmed himself down and said ''women can't think rationally anyway, I overreacted''. My supervisor pretended like he had nothing to do with it.
Always ask for such instructions to be sent in writing i.e. e-mail.
According to the Harvard Business Review, the pandemic, lockdowns, and restrictions have reversed much of the progress toward greater gender equality that was made in recent years. The coronavirus pandemic has made women’s jobs 1.8 times more vulnerable than men’s.
“Women make up 39% of global employment but account for 54% of overall job losses as of May 2020,” points out the Harvard Business Review.
During an interview with HR: “What do you intend to do to prove yourself? You know, since you are a woman”
Same guy, when I was planning a presentation and asked him for about 30 minutes of his teams bi-weekly meeting time: “you’re are good as a man, you could do it in 15!”
That my maternity leave was a vacation, and this was a female boss who's had children.
"Jerk" is a gender-neutral characteristic. Really sorry for her kids. Hopefully, her husband is a good father, because, clearly, she is a questionable mother.
I can’t decide.. Two days ago my boss told me that he didn’t like my shirt & it made me look pregnant. Yesterday he had a talk with me how I don’t have potential in life due to low motivation.
However, that’s not the only issue, according to Forbes. Women have also been taking on the vast majority of extra chores at home, from taking care of their children to ensuring that their kids’ education doesn’t suffer while distance learning. Now imagine having an unsupportive boss who insults you on top of all of that.
At a medical office where I worked they cut our vacation hours, and then gathered all the lowest-paid employees for a meeting with the owner. He explained how we all had to make sacrifices for the business, for example, his kids see that the neighbors all have pools in their backyards and are like "dad, why don't we have a pool?" and so he understands the sacrifices we're making by having our vacation hours cut (oh, and being asked to take over janitorial duties).
I was 8 months pregnant and I walked into the office and my boss said, “wow! I can’t tell if you’re coming or going.” Meaning I was so round all the way around. I just found it very offensive and insulting.
Another boss screamed at me, “you live in a vacuum!!!!”
I requested to use my lunch break to go breastfeed my newborn at her daycare, and my boss responded, 'I don't understand why you breastfeed anyway. Seriously, is it that much better than formula? My kids all had formula, and they're fine!'
You have to ask permission to do something in your OWN time? Are you a slave?
My boss once put a crumpled piece of paper in the pocket of my uniform vest and said that he wanted me to throw it away for him. He wasn't joking.
Throw it on his face, because he looks and acts like a piece of garbage!
My first job in my chosen career after college didn't go well. I was very open during my interview that even though I had a relevant degree, I was still very much a beginner in the field and required training. I got the job and was totally let loose without much guidance and zero training. I did my best, but made two pretty big mistakes. When I was getting fired, my boss told me I should give up in that field and consider a different career.
I was pretty butthurt by that, considering I had been requesting training the entire time I was employed there and never received it. I moved on to a different workplace that was willing to train, and excelled. 7 years later and I'm now a respected professional in the field.
You needing to take time off to help your dad after his heart attack is really messing with our schedule, are you sure you can’t work more?
I was a CNA and my DON came and told me that statistically in the medical field when women begin to stop wearing makeup to work it means they're beginning to not care about their jobs, and that she could see that my work ethic and my appearance had both been going downhill.
I was being evicted and my boyfriend had just broken up with me.
It was the end of one year of internship in an international company. In my country there are laws stating an intern should work 6 hours a day at max since we still have college classes later the same day, but not in that company. I had to live with constants yells and "funny jokes" that:
"Why don't you wear a skirt, aren't you a girl?" Yeah,10℃ and I will wear a skirt just because you want it.
"Oooh, so you think havin a hemorrhage is an excuse to get late to work?" After spending the weekend coming in and out of hospitals and showing the medical record? Yeah, probably, getting late 10 minutes is really an abuse of mine.
"You should wear more makeup, you won't look desirable that way" hmmm look desirable for my married coworkers? No, thanks.
"How did you got this wrong? I specifically said 1000" No you didn't, and I had the email to prove it.
"Bye and hav fun" my boss saying leaving the office at 10p.m. when I had to stay until 1a.m. losing my college exam. Just remembering my working hours were 9a.m. - 4p.m. without getting anything from my extra time at work aside "It's your obligation"
Oh, and don't let me begin with the classical male chauvinist jokes.
But the golden key was when they called me to a meeting about extending my contract one more year, they said they wanted to renew my contract, and that despite they didn't had any plan to hire me after that, it was one in a million opportunity since
"The way you are, you will be just enough to be an intern for the rest of your life."
Real good way to make someone continue to work with you. Nailed it, tyrant.
From the start he was out to get me, I don't know why. When we first had our individuals meetings with him he straight up told me, "You deserve everything that happens to you." He also knew I had filed a sexual assault report/was going through that legal process. Maybe it was also because of a racial difference, since he always made remarks along those lines.
Anyway, at the time this happened he had just arrived at my department and didn't even know half of what our job entitles/regulations we have to follow. I also was one of the two people shouldering literally all of the work we had (even though there were also 3 other people, they either weren't qualified or senior enough to do the job). It seemed that every time he chose to pop in I had just gotten back from a meeting, running files or another aspect of work. He kept saying that I did nothing and was lazy.
As someone who takes pride in their work and the quality of it that was really insulting.
I started writing down everything I did each day, marking the bullet box if completed or one lining if I hadn't gotten to it-making notes about it as well. (I still do it to this day).
A few months pass and he keeps it up. I had my evaluation and he had told our superiors I was lazy and so on. At the evaluation, I pulled out my notebook and asked him what work he did. He walked out, and the next day wrote me up for disrespecting him.
I worked at a small dive bar while in my early 20s. One night while bending over picking up a case of beer, my boss slapped my ass. When I expressed outrage, he told me I was “too prideful”. I think about that night all the time
Should’ve thrown the case of beer at him, then walked out and left him high and dry.
I worked for a chain restaurant where the manager not only sucked at his job, he was just a bad person. I’d been there for maybe a year so he should have known me well; i was married and probably my junior year of school. Well he told me once when he was drunk on the job (again) he said something like “since you don’t have brains to be in school, you’d think you’d have more luck with guys.”
That wasn’t even the worst stunt he ever pulled by a long shot.
On more than one occasion “would you sleep with him to get his business?”
Then when I call him on it, “what?!? I thought you wanted to be treated like one of the guys?”
So all the GUYS have slept with HIM to get HIS business? Wow. Talk about taking one for the team.
My daughter (15yo) had been suicidal for 2 years. During a rough patch I brought her to work so I could take her to counseling appt that afternoon. She didn't need to be left at home alone so I let her hang out in my car. (It was nice weather so it wasn't a big deal.) Everyone was accustomed to bringing kids to work when there wasn't daycare available or a doctor appt, etc. We just didn't make habit of it. This was the first time I'd brought my teen in with this type of scenario. She's got social anxiety & didn't really want to come in. She had her laptop & phone. She wasn't hurting anything but to be transparent, I told my boss about the situation. The next day my boss says to me, "You can't bring your daughter to work anymore. Heaven forbid she do anything while she's here, we'd be liable for that." I found another job soon after that.
I don't know. This doesn't seem sexist, nearly as much as it just seems like the boss not wanting family/personal drama to be near the workplace.
I was cleaning windows in the staff kitchen (cleaning was part of my job at the time), and one of the male veterinarians on staff said, "You'll make a good wife someday."
I was the supervisor at a nonprofit organization for troubled teen boys. One of my male employee's told me, in front of multiple residents and other employees, that he wanted to take my job but he wouldn't try too hard bc then he "wouldn't have anything nice to look at". I told him that was inappropriate and not to speak to me like that again. He apologized but then a few weeks later, in front of residents again, he said he wanted to find out what kind of drunk I was bc he would bet I get "real slutty". I also found out that he and a few other male employees had a list of female staff that they rate based on "hottness" and that they openly discuss this list with the teenage boys. I went to our joke of an HR department and was told that I just wasn't being firm enough and that bc I am the supervisor I would need to just "do something about it".. Then, when I refused to drop it bc it continued happening and the guy was following me to my car at night and touching me (just grazing my shoulder or sliding his hand across my back where no one would see), I was told that I would need to sit down and confront him about it. That I needed to teach him why those actions were not okay.. UM NO! I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TEACH A 30 YEAR OLD MAN WHY SEXUAL HARRASSMENT IS NOT OKAY
“Man up and learn how to deal with the real world.”
After he had hired a guy that was older than me that refused to accept that I was his supervisor. The guy was absolutely horrendous to me just because I was a younger female that had more power at the business than he did.
My dad died when I was 20 and I worked at a shitty retail job. I obviously took time off of work to grieve and whatever. The day I came back my boss LITERALLY said : “wow what happened...you have gained some weight! You look.. wider!” This dude KNEW why I took time off work.. he signed the sympathy card for fucks sake. When I came back to work I was still about 120 pounds. However HE was very overweight.. so looking back now he was certainly taking out his insecurities on me because I was very thin. Why he chose to do while I was returning to work after a death.. who knows LOL. At the time it was super upsetting to me.. looking back now it’s actually kind of funny because of how ridiculous it was since I was so thin!
I refused to sleep with a customer & he told me to "do your f**king job, bi**h"
Male boss: “Your skills and abilities are great, you just don’t look friendly. You should smile more while you work.”
At my annual review my boss told be that no one in the office liked me and that, to remedy this, I should individually take each co-worker out to coffee and ask them what I could do, or how I could change, to make them like me.
Sure, as long as they pay, since I’ll bet you’re paying me way less than you’re paying them, because they’re men and I’m a woman. You better not dock me pay for those coffee breaks, since I’m following your instructions.
Not my boss, it was another guy that was meeting with my boss in his office. I walked into the room with papers and somehow the subject of his dying plant came up. (Big plant in big pot. Severely neglected). Asshole says "Maybe we can get Mooshy to pee on it?". I kid you not.
Not me but my friend this time: One of the bosses was always chasing we female staff. Horny old bastard. We just blew him off, and ignored it. Old fool. (Old stinking rich fool). This was before #Me2. It was one of the hazard of working alongside males. One day he whipped out his dick and held it in his hand and said to her "Look at what you're missing". Moron. No amount of money honey. Dream on.
This is beyond bizarre. This man was just a pervert and sexual predator.
I used to work in a casual tech environment as an administrator. No dress code, drink beers at work, bbqs, all in all one of those start up environments. I was on an all male team that wore jeans, baseball hats, and t-shirts daily. After a few weeks of settling into the dynamic, I switched from dressing business professional (blouses, heels, dresses, etc) to casual. I wore jeans, a company shirt, and a hat like the guys did one day to work.
I was pulled a side by a manager and told that I was getting “too comfortable” in how I look. When they hired me they were looking for the “complete package” that resembled “Miss USA.” Keep in mind, this was for a casual start up environment where people wore slippers and walked their dogs around.
When I told my manager I thought it was sexist in a message (because the workplace explicitly left out a dress code so people could be comfortable), I was pulled aside by HR and was told that I was overreacting. The boys on my team did not have to follow the same rules because it wasn’t expected of them. If I didn’t like it, I could leave.
It was super insulting and I’m glad I left them a few months later.
"You're a technician magnet" I worked in a parts department, and within his first week of being there said that to me. I didn't dress any differently than the men in the department.
Does blatant sexual harassment count? Like telling me his d**k was so big that women wouldn’t let him do a**l? Or that he was imaging my (his word) pussy at night? Or that I should bring my friend by for a threesome? Or that he made a woman cry after taking her virginity (wonder how consensual that was)? Or threatening me after I told him that I could report him for sexual harassment? I had barely left my teens. He was in his late thirties. And all this happened in a very short period of time before I left ASAP. And the crazy thing is, I had known him for years before and he never acted that inappropriately with me until his boss (whom I love and still keep contact with) left and he took over.
I’m giving you the job, but I’m giving this other person who I’ve worked with for many years your job’s title on paper so she can get the higher salary.
Had a project my team was working on that was initiated by higher-ups. Constantly expressed to management that engineering wasn’t able to get the algorithms right, and because of that the data it was returning wasn’t correct. Constantly. For about a year. My company invested tons of money trying to automate jobs and the tool failed because they didn’t want to spend money on outside engineers who were familiar with large scale projects like this. When we finally got the go ahead from our SVP and Director to drop the project, my team was so relieved. My manager said “of course you’re happy, women are always so quick to give up on everything.”
Uh okay bro. We have been reporting the loss of potential revenue due to time spend in these failing reports. We’ve also lost our potential for larger bonuses and pay increases over this. He ended up getting let go earlier this year, partially related to not communicating his employees struggles to upper management.
That comment from the manager just pissed me off to an unbelievable level. If women were so quick to give up on everything, I would be not even close to where I am today.
“You’re fired” after I came back from a four day hospital stay.
Not a woman, but I had something similar happen a couple of weeks after I got out of hospital with COVID (was out for about 6 weeks). When I got back, asked if there was anything new or had changed while I was out, told no, and then without realizing violated a policy that came out a week before I came back and was fired because of it.
I am a Polish-American Catholic. I worked for a Lebanese boss as a server in an upscale cafe. Everytime he saw me, he would say, "You! You with that fucking Jew nose! Come over here." Or, "I can't stand looking at the Jew nose you have." Ohhhkayyy.
“I have no idea what you do and I don’t care to find out. Here’s your performance review!”
I was working a part-time gig as a busser/server. I took on a bussing job to cover for someone. At the restaurant, we had headphones to coordinate with the host on what tables were available and what needed to be bussed. On busier evening, the manager on duty would also have one in to make sure communication was smooth.
On this particular event, the store owner (SO)had the headset. The host called out that a row of tables needed to be cleaned to accommodate a party of 13. Without stopping to make a reply, I head over to the row with my SO stopping me.
SO: "Hey, Tables A,B, and C need wiped."
Me: "Yes, I know. I'm on my way over now."
SO: "Good girl!"
Oh, hell no. I snapped at him, "I am [then] 27 years old. You do NOT "good girl" me." Then I headed off, wondering if I was going to lose this job.
When I turned in my check out slip at the end of the shift to him, he did apologize saying he has been trying to be more positive around his young daughter. I just replied that he just needs to think about how he would feel if his daughter's boss would talk to her the same way when she got older.
The executive director of a synagogue said: "I wouldn't get out of bed for $10 an hour", while discussing wages of other employees. I was making $12 an hour.
He made fun of my morning sickness in staff meetings and told me, as he watched me learn a task for the first time that "if i were any slower i would be going back in time."
Another evaluated my performance in front of a new coworker and told me that the new people thought i was weird and they felt uncomfortable working with me.
I had a boss decide to send me out on what was essentially a sales call (I was a typesetter). When I asked her what I should say/do, she announced in front of my coworkers in the front office, "I don't know how much we're paying you, but it's too much." Years later, we ran into each other and she told me that at the next job she had, she'd finally realized how much I really did.
I am an extremely specialized flavor of engineer. I was hired by a startup to be the first of that type of engineer for them, but because they had no departmental structure to accommodate it yet, I was originally hired under a different (existing) department as a much more generic engineering title. Part of my job was to hammer out the role, establish the team's charter, and write the job description, in addition to actually doing the work itself as the company grew around me, on top of performing the duties expected of the more generic engineer that I currently was on paper. This was all completely fine with me, and very par for the course for startups, until we actually got the green light to establish the specialized team and start hiring a couple years later... at which point I was cautioned that I might not make the cut if "a real rockstar applied" ... to the job I had invented and had been doing singlehandedly for the past 2+ years.
Spoiler: I made the cut. And that boss doesn't work there anymore (albeit for unrelated reasons).
My fiance and I lost our baby 2 years ago, at the time we worked together. He was talking to a friend of ours one night that also worked there about it because he needed advice. Our old boss had security cameras with recording hidden all around the lobby (it was a gym) so that he could watch every little thing we did. Turns out he was watching the cameras from his house that night and when my fiance and I worked the next morning he called me to tell my fiance that "he needs to replace the baby- oops I mean gym wipes", when he came in to inspect the gym for the day he would say things like "I hope you haven't spent any money on a crib", and then he forced me to work in the day care because he thought being around babies would make me "feel better". All of this said with sarcasm and laughing.
I work a shift with two other women. We had a usual visit to our area one morning from a Supervisor (female) and our Head of Operations (male). Supervisor makes friendly conversation and comments that with an all girl crew, we might actually get some decent work done today! The HoO then turns to me while everyone else is distracted by their own conversation and throws in "And it'll get nice and clean around here too!!"........... I was shocked. I couldn't even respond (to my terrible regret).
It was up to your supervisor to be your advocate in this case. If she didn’t, then shame in her.
My boss’ boss tried to muscle me into making a product that would replace adjunct professors with videos of unqualified random tutors. I’d worked for unions for years before this job and my SIL was the head of her grad student union at the time, so I tried to tell him it was a conflict of interest and I’d appreciate it if he’d find someone else for the project. He kept pushing and I reminded him that his company had lost a lawsuit about this exact thing like a year ago—why’s he trying to do it again?
He called me emotional and aggressive and then I got fired a couple months later. I hated that job.
I worked as a "lead teacher" for school age summer program at a daycare one summer during college. On a field trip in front of all the kids and other employees the owners husband asked me a question. I asked him to clarify because i didnt understand the question. In front of all those school age kids he told me to "shut up and remember who signs my damn paycheck". I still didnt understand his question and jokes on him bc actually his wife was signing my paychecks.
My previous boss favorited people and because I was quiet, I never talked to her much. However Im a very diligent person and like to get things done and am proactive in doing work. I found out that I was getting paid a lot less than my co workers who got along with her very well so I confronted her about it and she said I didn’t deserve to get paid more and that she only accepted me for the position because I was just a trial. I’ve worked there for 4 years. I quit that job and never went back. Just an FYI, it’s not retail but there is a high turnover rate and she’s also done a lot of sketchy things to other coworkers.
I broke down and cried that day when I got home because I felt so humiliated. But f**k her.
I had a boss one who would sexually harass me, calling me Milf and saying that "If I was handsome you would send me nudes night? X is handsome and you send him nudes" spoiler: I didn't send nudes to X. He also made comments about his own dick size and described it to me, I quitted shortly after
I worked for Girl Scouts and had a boss tell me I would never amount to anything in life. I was a 21 year old girl.
Not said but did. When I worked at a garden all the worker's had their own locker where you could put your bag and raincoat etc. For some reason my boss didn't like me and I still don't know why. She had gone through my locker and thrown all my stuff out on the floor and after that I felt so unwelcome at my work. Gladly I was only asked to work there for a few months while the other workers were on holiday
When I had headed projects, worked extra hours, volunteered to head employee engagement initiatives, planned events in my own free time, done work as an intern, then asked back to work as a contractor, and then finally was placed in a permanent position. Then, after two years full-time in this position with the company, I applied for a promotion that (I am not exaggerating, I had actually trained the last person to get this position as an underling, long story) I very much deserved and got turned down for someone who had little to no experience in working in the field (but happened to be a friend of the hiring manager).
When I inquired why I didn't get the position, I was told, "I'd like to see you take more initiative as an employee here."
............
This was my manager, not my boss. I stopped at a convenience store to buy cigarettes on my way to work and bumped into him in the parking lot. He saw the outline of the pack in my pocket and asked about the brand, so I took them out to show him. He snatched them out of my hand and tore them apart, screaming and calling me a whore for buying them. I was 19 at the time, and this was my second job. I wasn't aware at the time that I could have reported him for that.
After a kid cried because of a normal, if not mild, consequence for behavior, my principal reversed the consequence and after the kids were gone implied that if I ever decide to have kids I'll be more understanding.
Not knowing what the misbehavior was or what you considered a mild, normal consequence, I cannot say that him reversing the consequence was wrong. But then he had to open his mouth.
I worked at a makeup counter for a brand (Clinique) that primarily emphasized skincare -- even most of the ads at the counter advertised skincare products.
I don't wear a lot of makeup, I never have, I'm quite pale & have very dark eyes, full dark eyebrows & full lips, and I feel that too much makeup on my face looks quite clowny since my face is fairly dramatic on its own. My coworkers all wore varying degrees of makeup. One wore a lot of mascara, one wore a lot of eyeshadow, one always had a dramatic lip. When I was hired, my counter manager even said something about how I could be the "skincare ambassador," since I have naturally "good" skin.
My floor manager once told me, in front of the entire floor of coworkers, that it's not her responsibility to come to my house & get me dressed in the morning just because I was too stupid to wear three shades of eyeshadow to work.
When a coworker asked me if I wanted to join him in the kitchen to make popcorn. Got up, walked with him, heard my boss following behind me and she waited till we were in the kitchen to say “haven’t you socialized enough for the day, AhgaSoL” with a condescending laugh. In front of 10 other people in the kitchen. It was only the second time I have gotten up from my desk that day, the first was for lunch. It really wasn’t what she said but how she did it. Afterwards she justified it by saying I’m “straight out of college” (been here for a year and a half though) and that I am not on the same level and that I don’t have a job like the coworker does.
She also loves talking about how tattoos are the biggest mistakes you can make in your life, and you’re stupid if you get one. Note: I have a tattoo, and this is only ever mentioned after she sees my tiny tattoo, points it out and goes on her 10 minute rant.
There’s a lot of stuff I put up with.
Worked at a job in high school stuffing envelopes. Took a day off and boss told me he was gonna come and “spank me” lol never came back.
Had another job tele-fundraising (was probably a big scam) shortly after the previous job I mentioned. Took a day off and he lowered my pay by $1 an hour indefinitely. I quit a few days later and he berated me, said he “gave me a chance” lmfao
Wasnt exactly said to me but about me. I worked for a little family diner and it was my 1st waitressing/cooking job (we rotated every shift). I wasnt the best at it but I tried. I ended up getting fired cus I couldn't find a sitter for my son twice in a row which I understand. But after I left, the owner told everyone that I had a mental breakdown and ran out crying and that's why I was fired. That never happened, I wasnt even there when she fired me since we talked about it through text. I'm friends with the owners daughter in law and she told me. It's not like she just told the staff there this either. I had gotten a couple regulars in my few months there and when they asked she told them that stupid lie too. My family had been going there for years before and the owner knew I had some mental health problems as a young teen ( I was 19 when I worked there so not too long ago then). So it kinda hurt that she would lie knowing what had happened. I havent been there to eat since.
That I lacked judgement and need to earn the privilege of gaining more training. This curiously correlated with when I was pushing back against the bullying that was happening in the workplace. I've since left and am much happier for it.
That I didn't know German and made mistakes like a first grader. I am a PhD candidate and I've published a couple of articles in respected news papers. I know it's not true but it hurt. I quit that job within 3 weeks.
When I was 16 my 50ish y/o manager would constantly ask me sexual questions. I was the only employee that had to be in the same area as him all day.
"You can tell me how to run my business when you have a degree."
Sorry, but if your employee is suggesting you don't argue with your wife at the shop, make SUPER inappropriate comments about your sex life to workers, and use the store as a day care for your toddler...MAYBE you should take those opinions into account.
Does not take a degree to know that.
I f**ked up at my (part time) IT job, by not learning as quickly as my boss wanted me to (not to mention being tired b/c baby.)
As he was firing me, right after telling me we need to keep the professional relationship separate from the personal, he thanked me for his next heart attack.
Thanks Dad.
"hey little girl" I was 35 at the time
"you'd have been fired a long time ago if I hadn't stuck up for you".
I was the assistant manager and I'd been there for almost a decade from the time that I was in my early teens, working my way up from a dish washer, but apparently I still wasn't good enough to be there. It especially bothered me because I knew it wasn't true--if anyone had needed to stick up for me to keep my job, there's no way I'd have been kept on for that long. That's the comment that prompted me to quit and go back to college.
When I was pregnant after staying at home with sick leave for a week my boss told me "being pregnant isn't an illness". After he said that a second time I went to him to tell him, that it's really inappropriate to say something like this and that it implies that he thinks I was just faking being sick. I don't think he understood - but agreed to don't say that again, to me. Now I sometimes wish I had told him that I was bleeding during this week and was scared for my child and that my doctor had told me to stay in bed.
idk if he's a boss per se, but one coworker who is in a higher position than me once said "if it were up to me, you would have been fired already. I don't see why (general manager's name) seems to think we need you", since I no call no showed for one shift (let it be known I was not the first person in the world to have ever done this, and nobody else got fired for doing it only one time). He also accused me of having a bad attitude, which is hypocritical since he often walks in noticeably upset/pissed off a good amount of shifts
While I was working as a certified financial paraplanner, I was told I wasn't entitled to commission-sharing because my work "had nothing to do with the financial planners' commission levels"!
That I was bland and not energetic/enthusiastic enough so there must have been something wrong with me. Also if i can't improve then they can find someone else to replace me. This was all said behind my back and not to my face.
Not a boss, but a more senior employee told me repeatedly that she didn’t think I could handle my daycare classroom of 1-year-olds because this was my “first job” and I “didn’t have experience”. I have over 5 years of childcare experience specifically with infants and toddlers, and this was certainly NOT my first job. Our boss also told me regularly that she was impressed with my performance. I ended up quitting during my 90 day probation period because I couldn’t stand to work with my coworker. From what I understand, this person has caused multiple people to quit due to similar comments and management won’t fire her.
Called me a dumpster. A loser.
Was fun to watch him ask me to reconsider when I quit right in middle of the project and was not rather financially constrained to buy out my notice period.
I was done.
Back in 2007, I had just started a new job as a case assistant for a bankruptcy attorney. My first 3 months there they loaded me up with cases enough for 3 case workers.
One day the attorney brought me into his office and was upset w me that I was behind on the cases. I explained to him that I've had minimal training and would try my best to knock out the extra loads.
He literally looked me in the face and said "With you I have gun with no bullets."
That kinda shook me at the moment bc I didn't know how to take that.
Was leaving the summer job as a waiter to finish my exams in the hope of going to university. When my boss found out he said, realistically you haven't work hard enough and you're going to fail, you should really think twice before leaving this job. Proud to say I proved him wrong.
That she will give me regularization but not increase my salary. Stuck with the contractual salary which is below my minimum as a licensed medical professional.
I quit.
“See, that opportunity [that I forgot/refused to tell you about] is like the cherry on top. I have a problem with the ice cream.”
Literally no context or actual conversation, just me asking why he didn’t tell me about the thing.
Find something else to do beside work.
They had hired a white guy who professionally was below me, to be head of the legal dept. The dept that I had set up and worked like a dog to get established. Oh, they also gave him way better pay and a sh@t load of stock options.
CEO asking if he was doing his job, like I was some kind of babysitter was the last straw. I walked out with a smallish pay off. IPO failed shortly thereafter.
That he hates LGBT. I'm bisexual and don't fear to show, what he said not only insulted me but hurt me.
However, he still values me as a reliable, good employee and doesn't discriminates me at work.
Bi pride! I'm sorry that you had to work for a homophobe but be you and be happy.
At my last job, my boss kept comparing me to an old coworker who happened to be a drug addict and drunk on the job. She literally would tell me, “You’re acting like ___, do you even want this job?” And then proceed to insult me then hang up on me. So so so happy to not be under her anymore, bad bosses suck.
I worked at a popular cosmetics store here in the US while I was in college and I had to get special permission from the district manager to take time off work during the month of December (the dates were blackout dates meaning we couldn’t ask for time off because of the busy holiday season) because my family planned a trip to Mexico to go see my grandma who had cancer, it ended up being the last time I saw her because she passed away shorty after. Anyways when I got back to work one of the leads was asking how my trip went and I told her it was nice to be able to see my grandma but It was sad because that was most likely the last time I’ll see her and she told me “grandparents are funny. They fake being sick to get you to spend time with them”. I told her that my grandma wasn’t faking having cancer and avoided her as much as I could. I quit working there after I found a job that I could use my degree in but I still get upset thinking about it.
Thank you sir. I’m trans so it especially stung.
Makes me want to smack all of them. In the face. With something very heavy.
I could not read after 20 these are horrible. So horrible they need to be printed out and available in all companies as cards and posters, there needs to also be cards like in sports that if someone is out of line you can just give them a card and they will know. It should also be very clear that anything said in such manner is allowed to be not only reported but publicly displayed and the name of the person clear. This should be a very set in stone terms of employment for any company. Just for one moment imagine what you are saying is being said to your Daughter or Mother, or Son or Father, because Women are guilty of sexist behavior also.
I worked at a small family owned business. I dropped some papers and bent down to pick them up my boss said "damn I love that view" his wife worked there as well and was in the next room. I finally got fed up and quit. It was really good pay but i couldn't deal with his numerous sexual comments he'd randomly make and it kept getting worse and worse.
I would have said I’ll tell your wife you said that, or asked him if he says that to her. What a pig
Load More Replies... Makes me want to smack all of them. In the face. With something very heavy.
I could not read after 20 these are horrible. So horrible they need to be printed out and available in all companies as cards and posters, there needs to also be cards like in sports that if someone is out of line you can just give them a card and they will know. It should also be very clear that anything said in such manner is allowed to be not only reported but publicly displayed and the name of the person clear. This should be a very set in stone terms of employment for any company. Just for one moment imagine what you are saying is being said to your Daughter or Mother, or Son or Father, because Women are guilty of sexist behavior also.
I worked at a small family owned business. I dropped some papers and bent down to pick them up my boss said "damn I love that view" his wife worked there as well and was in the next room. I finally got fed up and quit. It was really good pay but i couldn't deal with his numerous sexual comments he'd randomly make and it kept getting worse and worse.
I would have said I’ll tell your wife you said that, or asked him if he says that to her. What a pig
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