The differences between men and women – the ultimate inexhaustible topic. The one dead horse that we’ll probably keep beating for centuries to come. It seems that everything possible is already said. There are thousands of books and advice columns written about it, movies, TV shows, podcasts – you name it. Yet we’re still here – talking, reading, and writing about it.
This particular thread has gotten quite a lot of attention. When one netizen asked, “Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?“, almost 30k people flocked to the comments to share their thoughts. From what men really think when they fall silent to why pooping takes so long for them – the women of Reddit had many unanswered questions.
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I'm a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She's like "are you ok? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What's going on?" And I just say "nah I'm fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up".
My wife's biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking / drinking / driving / whatever with friends I haven't seen in months, and when I get home I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours.
My wife on the other hand will casually pass a friend in the street and within ten minutes knows what theyve done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward facing calendar for the next three months.
Other way round; Me: Friend A completed her marathon! Husband: In what time? No idea. How did she train? I dunno. What Equipment? Which shoes? What was the temperature? My dude, I do not know these things! I can tell you how she felt before, during and after the race, who supported her, what her challenges were,...
This is why women don't end up alone after divorce... Seriously, men are just stupid?
Yep. You ask them, so how is so and so? The response is "Good. They're good." No hubby, but three brothers. LOL.
I don't really ask many questions either, though it depends how my anxiety is going at the time.
My wife, but she's finally stopped giving me the 3rd degree as I'm obviously hopeless and broken beyond repair.
This is my husband. 😂 How do you spend hours with your brother, after he announces he's getting a divorce from his long term wife, and you have absolutely no other information? Like why, or how is he doing, or how long has this been going on? Nothing. Just two dudes chilling.
I've been like this my whole life. Same with several of my girlfriends. Drives my mother mental because she loves to gossip and she can never get any interesting info out of me about anyone.
I cannot understand the logic that you want me to get a full time job and work just as hard as you during the week, but also want all the comforts of a 1950’s housewife without putting in any of the work yourself.
but...but...but...they take out the trash and mow the lawns once a week, it's even!
Are men and women really that different? Are we bound to not understand each other for the rest of time? It's true that many Americans think that way. The Pew Research Center did a survey in 2017 where they asked men and women whether they see gender differences. The majority claimed they do, but their opinions on whether it's biological or societal differ.
Women believe the differences between men and women appear because of societal expectations. Men, on the other hand, say that these differences are biological.
The researchers asked the respondents about such things as physical abilities, how each gender expresses their feelings, and hobbies and personal interests. Interestingly, both men and women agreed that both genders are basically the same when it comes to work-related skills.
I don’t find this confusing, more sad. A lot of men aren’t told how handsome, sexy, good looking they are. I tell my husband how much he turns me on daily, and I feel like women get that all the time but men, not so much.
Edit: Dang this blew up. I just want to say all you guys deserve to be told how sexy you are and you should definitely let it be known! I don’t think a lot of partners out there realize how much you’d appreciate it.
i recently grew beard my best friend told me i look like a hot Viking it made my year
When my boyfriend is quiet for too long and I ask him what he’s thinking about, and he says simply, “nothing”, and shrugs. This happens at least twice a month.
What … what do you mean … nothing???? You can actively sit there and just wipe your brain clean??? No buzz buzz?? Just elevator music behind the eyes???
What kind of f*****g superpower is that and where do I sign up??
You can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20ft away.
Mess in the house is something that can be quickly and easily rectified. A badly-painted wall is an abomination that you've got to live with for some time.
Is there a way to find out which is really true? Are the differences between men and women biological or is it actually nurture, not nature? It's a difficult topic to approach as an academic. Bias can even exist in research. There is no consensus on the issue even at this time. Some researchers believe that people are born being more masculine or feminine. English clinical psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen is in that camp with his E-S theory.
Others, like philosopher Judith Butler, assert that gender is performative. According to her, we establish gender identity through behavior, so different behaviors can construct different genders. Not-so-academic and more easily digestible proponents like British science journalist Angela Saini invoke science.
She's the author of Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong – And the New Research that’s Rewriting the Story, and says that we shouldn't have equality because science says it's possible. "There's no reason why we can't have equality if we want it," she told Slate. "Science doesn't say that equality is impossible. We are adaptable and plastic as a human species. We can have society any way we want."
You know that meme, where a woman is thinking "huh, he's probably thinking about other women" and in actuality the guy is thinking the most random of things. Yeah. That.
Why they can’t find anything that is right in front of them I swear to god I find everyone’s things for them at work!
This drives me nuts! I swear, I even started to put things out on the counter for him when I know he will need them later and he still just doesn't see them. He's also not able to find things behind other things, even when they are in the same spot as always. It's like this barrier he just can't overcome. Also, it's just so much more convenient to ask me after the first half-assed attempt to find something instead of searching for just 1 more minute.
I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things like 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men.
I also find it weird how men will fight each other and then be best friends the next day.
Why do men always have the prettiest and longest eyelashes?
That "we ain't going to the doctor" but the limb has fallen off.
Why they take such a long time to poop.
Do you go in there when you actually need to go or just because you think you might need to go so you just sit for a while to see what happens?
As a woman both kinds of trips to the toilet take the same amount of time for me. But every man I know makes pooping a 30 minute event.
It's quiet time. Close the door, guaranteed solitude, do some thinking, read the paper in peace, etc.
I'm a man, but let me offer something I find confusing about other men, which I'm sure women do too.
Why do you get so defensive when a woman points out some trait of men they've been around that they don't like? Why do you feel personally attacked? If you don't like the accusations that some men are pervs and rapists, what does it matter if you're not a perv or a rapist? The term "not all men" gets thrown around a lot but a) no one said it was and b) it being "some men" is enough that women have to be careful.
All you need to do is not be that guy, and call out s****y behaviour when you can. That's it.
My gf is still baffled at the fact that I can just turn off my brain and not think of anything
How they're able to have so much fun with their friends all the time
They make digging a hole in the beach with their friends look like the most fun thing in the world I really admire that
It's not the activity that's fun. It's just the fact that we're hanging out with the boys.
The obsession some men have with sports. Personally I don't get it, it's just a bunch of guys throwing a ball around for two hours. I'm not bashing anyone who likes sports, I just don't get it.
Never got it myself. I'm not a typical man though. I only think about the Roman Empire about once a week instead of every day.
When they behave as the smartest man in the world and five minutes later as the village idiot.
Seen girls do that, too. Financial/budgeting wiz one moment, then boyfriend arrives, she's a total ditz.
Some men have absolutely no problem picking after themselves at work, but forget how to do it the moment they step into their homes.
I swear it’s like a switch.
How can you keep a whole workshop at work neat and tidy, but forget that the laundry basket exists?
When a guy will slip something very heartbreaking into a convo , like something an extremely abusive parent did or whatever and he’s talking about it very casually and your like holy f**k my dude are you alright but you can’t actually say that or overreact too much because he’ll never tell you anything again if you do so you have to sit there and be like ahhh yes that sucks dude but inside ur like sir may I hug you please
Why some men don’t go to the doctor or dentist, unless someone else makes the appointment for them.
So many men I know pass off just this really chill vibe and they all seem to just be cool with each other. How tf do they do it!?!?
What happens to your d***s when you run? Do you feel them flop around? And what do you do with it when you ride a bike?
The invention of underwear largely rendered this query superfluous.
I’m a dude, but why do we all pretty much collectively enjoy digging random holes? Especially at the beach.
Edit: just got back from the beach and yes, I did dig a hole there!
When guys are seriously injured but act like its just a scratch… that they can somehow walk it off. All the guys I know are like this.
Or the exact opposite. Just get a cold and act like they're dying.
I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?
I always tell my wife if it's not (was not): moving, on fire, or naked I didn't see it.
Why can’t they find things? If you ask them to bring you something from the closet, refrigerator, living room, whatever, they can’t find it!
Oh I know this one. It's because we lack the ability to look in the right place. In our male brains, it's logical to keep the ketchup in the broom closet so that's where we look.
Why do guys just sit in silence sometimes. I thought for a long time my boyfriend was sick of me but he was just sitting there with his brain off ig…
How their crotch doesn't hurt when they run or go up the stairs. Like, even with underwear, you just have stuff hanging down there. I don't even have a large chest and it hurts to run regardless if I'm wearing a bra or not
TBH I just don't feel it down there. Then again I don't feel much of anything anymore. Not since "The Incident". The only time I feel anything now is when I think about The Roman Empire.
How can they be so smart, and have so many knowledge about something, but they can be so, so stupid, do they have a switch about topics?
Once upon a time my girlfriend sent me into a gas station to get her a “can of Mountain Dew”. So I go in and search all over the place but they don’t have single cans of Mountain Dew, only bottles. But then I see it... a 12 pack of canned Mountain Dew. Now in my guy brain she said “can” so I was not coming out of that store with a bottle. When I go back to the car with the 12 pack she asked why I got 12 cans of Mountain Dew. I explained my logic and she started laughing uncontrollably. She brings this up all the time with other women when explaining how “guys think differently”.
I don’t understand why it is so hard to take no. Why do I need to justify a straight to the point no. Like no I will not go to this basically empty of people area almost in the woods or no I don’t want to sleep with you.
Some guys learn that being pushy works. I remember from my sales training as a door to door salesman (I managed about 3 weeks lol) - 3 nos, you need to get told no 3 times before you move on. All the established guys in my team were either married or going out with gorgeous women and a couple had side pieces too despite being average at best. Sadly being pushy in this life works.
Why some men feel insecure when their girlfriends/spouses earn more than him.
How do I know they are interested in me? How do I make it known to them that I'm interested in them?
I'm way too shy to confess face to face, and yet I also find confessing though a text insincere.
Difficult one if you don't want to expose yourself to potential hurt. I I would recommend against vague flirting and signals. Sometimes better to come out and say it. Men can be notoriously bad at interpreting flirting.
Me after men's league golf:
arrive home
wife: Who'd you play with?
me: Joe, ummm ummm John, ummm don't remember 3rd guy
wife: What'd you talk about?
me: hockey
wife: what else?
me: ummm I don't know.
'Fer criminy's sake, it was a golf game, not a fenneckin' book club meeting!
Speaking for my wife here: Missing the toilet almost every time I pee to some degree and then failing to recognize that I’ve missed until she points it out with physical evidence.
I'm 36, married, and never sent a d**k pic in my entire life. I'd only do it if my wife asked me to send her one, even then I'd question it. If she wants to see it she can just take my pants off...
Edit: Have asked my wife if she's ever sent one to anyone and the answer was no, because she didn't want it used against her one day if anything bad ever happened.
Why they won't buy a new wallet even tho the one they're currently using is literally hanging by a single thread.
Edit: I love and appreciate the fact that it's because it holds some sentimental value to most of you. Will keep in mind to gift those close to me in the future!
The refusal of basic hygiene some men display.
Like I had a friend who absolutely refused to wipe of those last drops of pee after using the toilet.
For no reason.
He just said it's unnecessary, even tho you always could see a nice wet spot in his pants.
Friendship between men!
It’s like you guys find a group of friends in your teens or college years and be like that’s it, enough socializing for the rest of our life and actually manage to maintain those friendships. How do you do this? I admit I’m a bit jealous. ;)
But then again so often dudes admit to me they can’t open up with their male friends, hide their feelings and problems and keep conversations shallow which I think is kinda sad. Maybe that’s the secret why those friendships last. But it adds to the confusing part, because I question a friendships worth if it doesn’t provide a safe space between the individuals.
Disclaimer. I am aware both of those paragraphs don’t apply to all men. I’m talking to the ones it does apply to.
Edit; Thank you for sharing your experiences and opinions guys! You’re amazing and you gave me me a lot of insight. I’m still catching up with reading all comments since it’s quite a lot more than expected, but thank you very much for your efforts and for opening up.
It is because we invest so much in such friendships. When you have buddies you can actually trust with deep stuff, friends who have known you for decades, you don´t let them go.
How most of your fights with friends are like, 'punch each other and then you're good'. Like how?!?!
My wife along with her friends is amazed their sposes and I can fall asleep within a minute or two of my head hitting the pillow. I blame working a labor intensive job but I know some men don't fall asleep no matter what. She is also amazed that I can't properly load a dish washer or put food away into the pantry.
Hm. I usually take a few hours to fall asleep, do properly load the dishwasher, and I'm the only one who even attempts keeping order in the pantry. I'm not a man, I'm a Muppet!
That some will show immense interest in you, but as soon as you give them the same energy in return, they back off. I don’t like that and usually I’ll back up and move on. It’s confusing and very frustrating
Probably because they don't want the disappointment of finding out that you were just being nice and weren't really that interested in you. They've been burned in the past. Men aren't good at picking up on subtle signals from women.
men that are willing to pay a lot of money just for pictures of feet or boobs when p**n can be free
My girlfriend is blown away that I can text/call friends to hang out. That I haven’t hung with in months. And they are down!!! No questions asked. “Yeah sure I’ll be over in 20 minNo questions asked
Life is short and full of duties. If somebody didn't call in 6 months, he had good reason. We have both a free evening? Let's have some beer.
I still don’t understand d**k pics. Do they really think we look at a picture of a d**k, in terrible lighting, sweaty, untrimmed pubes, with your 10 year old briefs and gym shorts pulled down.
And go… oh yeah this is it. I’m glad I didn’t ask for this. The surprise during a fun conversation is so much better.
No, a lot of us don't understand d**k pics, either. We, too, think that men who send them are weird.
Rules seem to make you happy. My boyfriend plays a lot of tabletop rpgs and Battletech and he’s said before that he’s not enjoying a game because I quote “there aren’t enough rules, it’s all a bit confusing”. Also follows for tasks ie. Can you microwave x for me? No that’s confusing. Microwave x for 1 minute 30 seconds exactly. He’s a happy happy man 😅
Edit:
To answer general queries:
He has not been diagnosed with autism, he does have the spicy panic aka anxiety. I think this maybe partly why he likes rules/specific instructions? Though he does get a lot of autism/adhd tiktoks and has related to them so maybe?
He’s a historian specifically, war history.
Our microwave is 900w.
The game recs are very welcome and lovely, he is aware of the thread and enjoying seeing what people are recommending for him.
Rules make things easier. There's no room for indecisiveness when there are clear rules
The obsession with being the one who is the master of the barbecue.
Obsessed? No way, you (or anyone else) wants to cook for me? Go right ahead, here's the tongs.
The things they find brag-worthy absolutely boggle my mind
Like they brag about the things that don't even register, and the things that do matter they don't realise even counts
Because it's boastful to brag about serious things. But bragging about eating 2 whole chickens, that shits funny
They barely complain, even on very important things they need to complain about.
Probably due to parents that suppressed the s**t out of anything they ever say unless it's ez for them to handle.
Not a woman, but I'm confused on why I want to dropkick an alligator.
They like boobs to a level that can be pretty concerning at times lol
Everybody likes boobs. Men, women, straight gay. Everybody loves boobs. I've been saying that for years and nobody has proven me wrong.
How they can’t answer or respond to more than one thing in a text message.
How they are easy to repress all feelings and emotions except anger (usually). It must be hurtful for them as much as it is for everyone around them.
Edit: Just a few days after I made this comment I saw this [video by SALARI](https://youtu.be/bomWsgjLQjc). I recommend watching it, and I think it made me understand this matter.
Because anger is the only safe emotion for a boy to express. It creates space when he's feeling overwhelmed, without showing weakness in front of the bully looking for the weakest member of the herd. The trick is to learn to express other emotions when the childhood dynamic is no longer helpful.
How is it that I know so many older level headed men who have good values, passion for their work and opinions and they aren't afraid of expressing themselves, the way they speak about their wives and families makes me want to go back into dating, but when I look at men my age, suddenly most of them are dodgy, scared of commitment and scared of having and expressing their opinions.
I don't want to date men who are 50-60 but I'm so envious of their wives for finding such a good men to spend their lives with.
Their inability to close drawers and cupboards properly despite being practical and intelligent. This may be isolated to one individual though.
This is just the opposite in my house (I'm a man), and I'm the one that wants them all closed, but it doesn't seem to bother her in the least if they are left open. So, I don't think this one should be on the list, it is an individual thing that has nothing to do with gender.
Guys that say they don't want a clingy girl.
Proceed to date a less clingy girl and feel neglected.
EDIT: I have to clear up my comment.
I intend this as men finding women with this toxic trait of clingyness. But once they come across a partner who is more independent and wants a healthy communication boundary. They find it not enough and yearn for the toxic trait they had been use to before.
id say women do this as well but they want a bad boy and not someone nice until they get treated badly by the bad boy and then yearn for the guy who is too nice again
Acting like a person you are not at all in front of your boys, just to be cool. And every single one the boys does that and no one feels comfortable with that. How the f**k does that make sense?
This post is horseshit and all based on generalizations. "Men don't complain" my foot.
Ofc it's based on generalizations, the only thing ALL men have in common is that they are adult male human beings.
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Hm, a lot of these seem to be generalising based on a sample of one and traditional gender stereotypes. People are more complex and individual than this.
As a guy: why do guys tense up and jerk/shake randomly in their sleep? (Happens to me...what about others?)
You might need to take some magnesium supplements. Both my mom and I have problems with our legs jerking when we're trying to sleep and started taking magnesium for it. Works like a charm!
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I love the Mountain Dew one. It's because sometimes ladies (not all, calm down) will be so specific in what they want that getting anything BUT that exact item, even if we have to get 12 of them is less hassle for us. I work in retail and I see it all the time, dudes who are looking for that specific item and will go to 10 stores to find it.
I have a friend who got verbally abused by her boyfriend for getting them a Dr Pepper instead of a coke when he asked for a “soda.”
Load More Replies... I remember one time my (female) manager asked me to tell the new intern his pants were riding too low, but to be sensitive about it, on the grounds that it would go over better coming from another man. So the next time we were alone in a room together, and I was standing behind him, I just yelled, "Whoa, dude! Plumber's crack!" and shielded my eyes. We both laughed, problem solved, no hard feelings.
This is obviously just light entertainment clickbait. It's like the back page of Women's Weekly, or The Daily Enquirer. If you're going to participate, treat it with the seriousness it deserves. Some people up here treating it like they're arguing for their Sociology thesis defense.
Every time I see the “spent 72 straight hours with my best friend and I still know his name or anything about him” remarks I’m flabbergasted. What kind of weird people don’t want to share who they are with their friends?
I've got one that I don't think many women understand. If we ask you a question that can be answered with either Yes or No, that's probably all we want. If we asked if you got bread from the store, and you didn't, most of the time No is all you need to say. We got the information we wanted. If we want more information we'll ask for it, but most of the time we don't.
may be a personal thing, but im suprised none of these are why we spend a bunch of money on transformers...like, its a lot. we dont even know the importance of the character sometimes, we just get the figure for our collection.(emoji is me seeing this not being on the list). 2024012208...24-png.jpg 
Also, multiple questions for you women that i have: Why do you not communicate about some things but then ramble on about other stuff? the second one is why do you think were so closed about our emotions? im not saying that because we aren't, im asking what do you think the cause is? because most of the time it actually ends up being you. we feel we cant share our emotions because you either dont listen, or the even worse option is our sensitivity being an "ick".(i do not mean to sound like im a andrew tate fanboy, if you get that from this i apologize)
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This post is horseshit and all based on generalizations. "Men don't complain" my foot.
Ofc it's based on generalizations, the only thing ALL men have in common is that they are adult male human beings.
Load More Replies... Hm, a lot of these seem to be generalising based on a sample of one and traditional gender stereotypes. People are more complex and individual than this.
As a guy: why do guys tense up and jerk/shake randomly in their sleep? (Happens to me...what about others?)
You might need to take some magnesium supplements. Both my mom and I have problems with our legs jerking when we're trying to sleep and started taking magnesium for it. Works like a charm!
Load More Replies... I love the Mountain Dew one. It's because sometimes ladies (not all, calm down) will be so specific in what they want that getting anything BUT that exact item, even if we have to get 12 of them is less hassle for us. I work in retail and I see it all the time, dudes who are looking for that specific item and will go to 10 stores to find it.
I have a friend who got verbally abused by her boyfriend for getting them a Dr Pepper instead of a coke when he asked for a “soda.”
Load More Replies... I remember one time my (female) manager asked me to tell the new intern his pants were riding too low, but to be sensitive about it, on the grounds that it would go over better coming from another man. So the next time we were alone in a room together, and I was standing behind him, I just yelled, "Whoa, dude! Plumber's crack!" and shielded my eyes. We both laughed, problem solved, no hard feelings.
This is obviously just light entertainment clickbait. It's like the back page of Women's Weekly, or The Daily Enquirer. If you're going to participate, treat it with the seriousness it deserves. Some people up here treating it like they're arguing for their Sociology thesis defense.
Every time I see the “spent 72 straight hours with my best friend and I still know his name or anything about him” remarks I’m flabbergasted. What kind of weird people don’t want to share who they are with their friends?
I've got one that I don't think many women understand. If we ask you a question that can be answered with either Yes or No, that's probably all we want. If we asked if you got bread from the store, and you didn't, most of the time No is all you need to say. We got the information we wanted. If we want more information we'll ask for it, but most of the time we don't.
may be a personal thing, but im suprised none of these are why we spend a bunch of money on transformers...like, its a lot. we dont even know the importance of the character sometimes, we just get the figure for our collection.(emoji is me seeing this not being on the list). 2024012208...24-png.jpg
Also, multiple questions for you women that i have: Why do you not communicate about some things but then ramble on about other stuff? the second one is why do you think were so closed about our emotions? im not saying that because we aren't, im asking what do you think the cause is? because most of the time it actually ends up being you. we feel we cant share our emotions because you either dont listen, or the even worse option is our sensitivity being an "ick".(i do not mean to sound like im a andrew tate fanboy, if you get that from this i apologize)
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