The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.
The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.
One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.
"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.
Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.
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Red Shirts Everywhere...
I Think This Belongs Here Too
Women Aren't People, Apparently
The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.
"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.
According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.
Yes, The Answer Is Yes
Who Doesn't Love Irony?
Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"
"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."
But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."
The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare
You’re An Asstrovert
Let’s All Make A Pledge
Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.
“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.
Don't B Confused
More C-19 Experts..
Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong
“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’
“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.
“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”
Columbus Day
🤣 That reply has some zing to it, anyone know where I can find that spcie?
Murdered By Wit
I Like The Second Guy’s Energy
Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.
The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem.
Classic Karen
Yeah, That'll Work
That’s Got To Hurt
British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.
According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes
Bit Of A Stretch
What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards
some people (especially men) tend to think they can say what one has to do with their body
Load More Replies...meanwhile I thought that with evolution these opinions would have extinct in 2021 ffs
Evolution sorts a huge amount of stupidity out, it's just that the world became much safer and the stupids survive
Load More Replies...Why does it matter if we have leg hair? It's literally just hair! I don't shave my legs, but I'm also afraid to show them by wearing shorts in public because society has brainwashed me into thinking it's bad.
My hair is fairly light so I guess I'm lucky, but I use an electric shaver and trim my leg hair. It's much faster and easier than shaving and nobody hasn't noticed in years. I know that might not work for everyone but thought I'd suggest it.
Load More Replies...never can understand this kind of comments - if you don't like the show: change the channel. they probably don't want to be around you anyway. some women like a lot of chest hair on a man - some don't - think really hard about who gets to decide whats "normal/acceptable" and post the credentials that show you are in charge. then maybe someone will listen to your stupid remarks. i spent WAY too much time here explaining what a irrelavent person you are dinogatorretaarrd
Mine too. They look just like my brother's, only shorter (he's way taller than me)
Load More Replies..."Just because it's there doesn't mean its useful or wanted" - dinogatorr describing themselves
When I haven't shaved my legs for long (every winter but sometimes even for more than year), my legs are almost as hairy as the groundhog
Load More Replies...Body hair is natural! It actually irritates me a lot because of something that “needs” to be removed on women but not on men.
Saw a Kid Creole vid recently. His backing singers/dancers have armpit hair - I think they are wonderful!
Load More Replies...The hair IS supposed to be there. It both keeps us warm and cool, and keep us from sweating so much. The sweat stays in the hair and keep cooling us for longer. Without hair, the sweat keeps flowing and can't cool us properly.
I remember thinking leg hair was so cool as a kid... now I have it, and I just want it to go away.
Now that I'm old, all the hair has disappeared on its own. A benefit of aging?
It's the same with a vagina. I like my ladies to be shaved or well trimmed but I won't say anything against a woman that keeps hers natural.
It’s women who do close to 100% of the “proving” that body hair is unwanted. It’s women, not men, the world over treat body hair every day—or every week—like a minuscule piece of cancer.
Because of several factors, quarantine, breaking-up and being without a partner, the cold, etc. I haven't shaved since the summer and I feel really comfortable with my body hair. Right now I'm comfortable so I don't see the need to spend that extra time shaving. That´s useful when you work and then decide to start Uni again at 44. A whole new career. I'll shave when it starts getting hot I suppose.
I was recently interviewed for a Spanish TV show and the interviewer, a Spanish comedienne asked me a question that my conversational Spanish couldn't quite decipher. It was translated, "I hear American men like their women shaved. How do you feel about it?" Well, I know I'm old and old school but I hate it. It feels like I'm with a child which is a real turn off. My answer, "¡No me gusta. Es el mismo de sex con las bebes¡ No, no me gusta." (I know my grammar sucks but it was met with approving nods from the staff)
The"evolution" part of his argument is not wrong, actually. We humans have some vestigial stuff in us. For example: -the appendix -wisdom teeth - the tail bone - male nipples (they are pretty useless, to be honest). So yeah, we do have things in us that are there but don't really serve a purpose. That being said, she can grow hair wherever she likes. But her argument is not fullproof.
I would have asked if anyone wanted hair on their head. Some do, others no
This rebuttal makes no sense. The man's point was perfectly valid: The fact that something occurs naturally does not make it a good thing. Yes, he compared something trivial, leg hair, to something very serious, cancer tumors. So what? His point wasn't to say that they were of equal consequence, but that they were of similar type.
Well, whatever about leg hair, but how is that not a good response? “If it’s not supposed to be there, why does it grow there?” is a stupid thing to say about bodies. We do grow a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be there. Leg hair isn’t one of those things, but there’s tumors, keloids, sometimes horns, extra fingers or limbs. Those aren’t supposed to be there but do grow there.
so that's not what evolution is. in either case: tumors or leg hair
I mean in short yes, tumors are supposed to be there. Just because we know it kills us and we know you can remove it does not mean that its unnatural.
dinogatorr <-- just because he is there, it doesn't mean he's useful or wanted
I heard that women started shaving their legs when razor companies started advertising the attractiveness of shaved legs in order to increase sales of razors. https://www.hebergementwebs.com/marketing/women-shave-because-of-marketers-how-the
Maybe so but man or woman, having shaved legs feels great.
Load More Replies...I'm also confused by what he thought he was saying with 'it's called 'evolution''
I've witnessed people on this site compare abortions to swatting a mosquito. Ladies, I really don't care. Let it grow long enough to braid. Just, please, stop killing babies.
In order not to offend anyone maybe just say "local compares", don't add a gender we might be identifying the unknown account holder with that which they do not agree with.
If my wife was to stop shaving her legs, I would of course find it gross at first because that's they way society has conditioned me to think from birth but I'm sure I'd get used to it eventually but I hope she never does, I may shave them while she's asleep.
Evolution also allegedly weeded out the stupid, but twitter proves that it didn't.
7yo say a lot of stuff you wouldn't expect. This one is mild.
Load More Replies...Seriously What Is Wrong With You
Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.
“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.
Good Luck To The Women In Your Future
Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words
Get Wrecked...
The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic.
"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"
Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media
Better Check Those Facts
Handle With Care
'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.
Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?
This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem
Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More
Rip Sportsball Fan
I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...
God vs. Humanity
Trying To Gatekeep Conversations
What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.
I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit
Oh, No! Anything But That!
US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam
The Ol' Switcheroo
Who Ever Will Fight A Wolf ?
But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??
What Are Crab Cakes?
Doctor Of Reading?
Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?
I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..
1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...
Just So We’re Clear
It's Almost As If
You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What
He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....
I Once Knew A Peacock
Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.