It’s always the same story with winter - the first couple of snowy days are wonderful beyond compare, and then, well, you’re ready for spring. And because it is absolutely zero fun to be waiting for the next season in the dark and in the cold, the internet folk have come up with some gorgeous winter jokes to make the waiting easier. The folk come up with them, we round them up and present you with a finished product - a list full of jokes about winter.
So, if you’re wondering whether all of these funny winter jokes will be about the misery of freezing temperatures and unbearably long evenings, you’re not very far from the truth. However, there are a couple more key topics these corny winter jokes will discuss too. For instance, the need to wear layers upon layers of clothing, a thermos of tea glued to your hand, and the ways your woolen sweater tries to bite you each time you choose to wear it. All right, when you look a bit deeper, the topic of misery is prevalent in each of these silly jokes. But hey, at least we can laugh at it! Especially when half of these funny jokes can absolutely be categorized as winter dad jokes, and we know you like those.
With the introductions out of the way, it is probably the time for you to actually check out our selection of winter jokes. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote so they’ll find their way to the top of this list. And lastly, share this article with your friends!
What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
A brrrr-grrr.
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What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
"Freeze!"
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What did the icy road say to the car?
“Want to go for a spin?”
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Why was the snowman sad?
Cause he had a meltdown.
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What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
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Why did the girl keep her saxophone out in the snow?
She wanted to play cool jazz.
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What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.
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Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm?
He was feeling under the weather.
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What's the best way to scare a snowman?
Talk about global warming.
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What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
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What do you call a penguin with no eye?
A pengun.
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Why is Frosty never late?
Time waits for snow man.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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How do you build a snow fort?
You igloo it together.
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What can you catch with your eyes closed?
A cold.
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What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees?
“It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”
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What’s the scariest part of owing Santa money?
He snows where you live.
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What do you call a wintertime hip-hop artist?
Frozen-T.
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"It was so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house."
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Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
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What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
“Have an ice day!”
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What do computers wear in the winter?
Snow-boots.
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How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers?
“Check your elf before you wreck your elf.”
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How do you make up a snowman’s bed?
Fresh sheets of ice and a thick blanket of snow.
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Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole?
On a map.
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What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.
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If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy.
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What was Frosty the Snowman’s career?
He was in snow business.
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What is Batman’s favorite food?
"Not much, just-ice!"
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How do you prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in the winter!
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What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?
I.C.
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What do you get when you milk a cow in the winter?
Ice cream.
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Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk.
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What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
"Can you smell carrot?"
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How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary story?
A bit shaken up!
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What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter D.
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What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
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How do you know when it’s too cold for a picnic?
When you chip your tooth on the soup!
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When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
When it’s in a grizzly mood.
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What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimooo.
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Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
Because snow man’s an island.
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How do you know that a snowman was in your home?
You find a carrot in a puddle next to the fireplace.
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What do you call a snowman that plays piano?
Meltin’ John.
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What do you call a snowman without a carrot?
Nobody nose.
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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you!
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What advice should you give to snow moving to the big city?
"Flake it till you make it."
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I warned him about starting his own ski resort.
It’s a slippery slope.
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Why do polar bears live alone?
They like to ice-olate themselves.
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After six months of winter, all the snow finally melted.
Noice.
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What happens when winter arrives?
Autumn leaves.
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What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
Get out of my face!
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What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
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What video game do they play in igloos?
"Snow Fortnite."
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Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?
There was only a 50 percent chance of snow.
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Which one is faster, hot or cold?
"Hot. You can catch a cold."
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What did the tree say after a long winter?
“What a re-leaf!”
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Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt Arctica!
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Why are winter days great?
They’re snow much fun!
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What did one snowflake say to the other?
"You’re one of a kind."
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Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable?
They can see what is mitten in the stars.
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Did you hear about the kid who was hit in the head with a snowball?
It knocked him out cold.
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Why can’t you trust snowmen?
They’re real flakes.
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Why are snowmen great at parties?
They always break the ice.
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How does a snowman convince someone he’s serious?
“Snow joke!”
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Did you hear about the snowman who fell in love with a mitten?
It was glove at first sight.
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What did the salad say to get inside?
“Lettuce in! It’s freezing out here!”
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What did the man say from outside the window?
“Icy you!”
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Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter?
On the outside.
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Why can't the snow climb up a ladder?
Because the snow falls.
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Why did the hipster keep his iPod outside during the winter?
Because he liked to listen to cool music.
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What happens when the snowman cannot see properly?
The snowman rubs his ice!
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What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
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What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
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What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
"I have no eye deer."
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What does a Snowman take when he gets sick?
A chill pill.
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Where do seals go to see movies?
The dive-in!
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What is red, white and blue over winter break?
A sad candy cane.
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Why did the snowman turn yellow?
Ask the dog.
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What is a skier’s favorite type of candy?
Snowcaps.
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Where do snowmen get the weather report?
The Winternet.
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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snowbody’s business but mine.
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What did the snowflake say to the road?
"Let’s stick together!"
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How do you get a snow monster to go away?
Get into a heated argument.
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Why are we only concerned about snowmen, not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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"It was so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets."
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"It was so cold outside that I saw a Greyhound bus, and the dog was riding on the inside."
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Why did the husband pour warm water on his computer?
He had asked his wife what to do if windows froze.
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Why do skeletons hate winter?
They get chilled to the bone.
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Why do bears hibernate in winter?
So they don’t Netflix and chill.
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Why did the snowman go to the doctor?
He was feeling chilled!
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What is a Snowman's favorite drink?
An ice-cappuccino.
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What do you call a seagull during the winter?
A brrr-d!
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Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in winter?
She was no spring chicken!
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What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
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What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
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What did the ski hat say to the ski scarf?
"You hang around while I go on ahead."
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What did Frosty the Snowman want as a career?
To be in snow business.
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"Since it started snowing, my grandpa has been staring out the window. I will have to let her in if it gets any colder!"
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What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
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What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
Iced tea.
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How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle.
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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
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What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Ice krispies treats.
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What do snowmen do when the weather’s too hot for scarves and hats?
They change into puddles.
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If your reindeer lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one?
A re-tail store.
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What do you call a ghost in the winter?
Casp-brrrrr.
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What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
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How do mountains stay warm?
They put on their snowcaps.
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What did the sign say in the reindeer stable?
“There’s snow place like home.”
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What do you call it when a reindeer ignores you?
The cold shoulder.
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Where do snowmen love to dance?
At a snow ball.
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Did you hear about the rude snowman?
He didn’t carrot all.
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No one likes eating outside in the winter.
It’s frost come, frost served.
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What do you call a winter monster with a six-pack?
Abdominal snowman.
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How do you decorate a snowman’s cake?
Lots of icing.
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Who delivers the Christmas presents to baby sharks?
Santa Jaws.
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Why do seals like to swim in saltwater?
Because they don't really like chilly water.
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What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilifice sauce.
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How do snowmen greet each other?
“Ice to meet you!”
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What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The meltdown diet.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.
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"I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today… Well, I’m guessing she was poor. She only had $1.00 in her purse."
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What Chuck Norris can make in winter?
Fire with two ice cubes.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was walking south for the winter.
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What do snowmen win at the Olympics?
"Cold" medals!
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What does Rachel Green's job title change to in winter?
A brrrista!
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Why is it hard to ski after a fresh snow?
"With great powder comes great responsibility."
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Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking?
Their dishes are best served cold.
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Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter?
He could really turn a freeze.
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What did Yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnel vision?
"All ICY is you!"
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When are your eyes not eyes?
When the cold winter wind makes them water!
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Why was the snowman so sad?
Because he had a blue Christmas.
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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside!
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Why did the two snowmen divorce?
One thought the other was a flake.
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