It’s always the same story with winter - the first couple of snowy days are wonderful beyond compare, and then, well, you’re ready for spring. And because it is absolutely zero fun to be waiting for the next season in the dark and in the cold, the internet folk have come up with some gorgeous winter jokes to make the waiting easier. The folk come up with them, we round them up and present you with a finished product - a list full of jokes about winter.
So, if you’re wondering whether all of these funny winter jokes will be about the misery of freezing temperatures and unbearably long evenings, you’re not very far from the truth. However, there are a couple more key topics these corny winter jokes will discuss too. For instance, the need to wear layers upon layers of clothing, a thermos of tea glued to your hand, and the ways your woolen sweater tries to bite you each time you choose to wear it. All right, when you look a bit deeper, the topic of misery is prevalent in each of these silly jokes. But hey, at least we can laugh at it! Especially when half of these funny jokes can absolutely be categorized as winter dad jokes, and we know you like those.
With the introductions out of the way, it is probably the time for you to actually check out our selection of winter jokes. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote so they’ll find their way to the top of this list. And lastly, share this article with your friends!
What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
A brrrr-grrr.
Report
What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
"Freeze!"
Report
What did the icy road say to the car?
“Want to go for a spin?”
Report
Why was the snowman sad?
Cause he had a meltdown.
Report
Why did the girl keep her saxophone out in the snow?
She wanted to play cool jazz.
Report
What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
Report
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.
Report
What's the best way to scare a snowman?
Talk about global warming.
Report
Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm?
He was feeling under the weather.
Report
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Report
Why is Frosty never late?
Time waits for snow man.
Report
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Report
How do you build a snow fort?
You igloo it together.
Report
What do you call a penguin with no eye?
A pengun.
Report
What can you catch with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Report
What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees?
“It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”
Report
What’s the scariest part of owing Santa money?
He snows where you live.
Report
What do you call a wintertime hip-hop artist?
Frozen-T.
Report
"It was so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house."
Report
Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Report
What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
“Have an ice day!”
Report
What do computers wear in the winter?
Snow-boots.
Report
How do you make up a snowman’s bed?
Fresh sheets of ice and a thick blanket of snow.
Report
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.
Report
If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy.
Report
What was Frosty the Snowman’s career?
He was in snow business.
Report
What is Batman’s favorite food?
"Not much, just-ice!"
Report
How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers?
“Check your elf before you wreck your elf.”
Report
Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole?
On a map.
Report
How do you prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in the winter!
Report
What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?
I.C.
Report
What do you get when you milk a cow in the winter?
Ice cream.
Report
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk.
Report
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
"Can you smell carrot?"
Report
How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary story?
A bit shaken up!
Report
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter D.
Report
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Report
How do you know when it’s too cold for a picnic?
When you chip your tooth on the soup!
Report
When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
When it’s in a grizzly mood.
Report
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimooo.
Report
Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
Because snow man’s an island.
Report
How do you know that a snowman was in your home?
You find a carrot in a puddle next to the fireplace.
Report
What do you call a snowman that plays piano?
Meltin’ John.
Report
What do you call a snowman without a carrot?
Nobody nose.
Report
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you!
Report
What advice should you give to snow moving to the big city?
"Flake it till you make it."
Report
I warned him about starting his own ski resort.
It’s a slippery slope.
Report
Why do polar bears live alone?
They like to ice-olate themselves.
Report
After six months of winter, all the snow finally melted.
Noice.
Report
What happens when winter arrives?
Autumn leaves.
Report
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
Get out of my face!
Report
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Report
What video game do they play in igloos?
"Snow Fortnite."
Report
Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?
There was only a 50 percent chance of snow.
Report
Which one is faster, hot or cold?
"Hot. You can catch a cold."
Report
What did the tree say after a long winter?
“What a re-leaf!”
Report
Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt Arctica!
Report
Why are winter days great?
They’re snow much fun!
Report
What did one snowflake say to the other?
"You’re one of a kind."
Report
Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable?
They can see what is mitten in the stars.
Report
Did you hear about the kid who was hit in the head with a snowball?
It knocked him out cold.
Report
Why can’t you trust snowmen?
They’re real flakes.
Report
Why are snowmen great at parties?
They always break the ice.
Report
How does a snowman convince someone he’s serious?
“Snow joke!”
Report
Did you hear about the snowman who fell in love with a mitten?
It was glove at first sight.
Report
What did the salad say to get inside?
“Lettuce in! It’s freezing out here!”
Report
What did the man say from outside the window?
“Icy you!”
Report
Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter?
On the outside.
Report
Why can't the snow climb up a ladder?
Because the snow falls.
Report
Why did the hipster keep his iPod outside during the winter?
Because he liked to listen to cool music.
Report
What happens when the snowman cannot see properly?
The snowman rubs his ice!
Report
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Report
What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
Report
What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
"I have no eye deer."
Report
What does a Snowman take when he gets sick?
A chill pill.
Report
Where do seals go to see movies?
The dive-in!
Report
What is red, white and blue over winter break?
A sad candy cane.
Report
Why did the snowman turn yellow?
Ask the dog.
Report
What is a skier’s favorite type of candy?
Snowcaps.
Report
Where do snowmen get the weather report?
The Winternet.
Report
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snowbody’s business but mine.
Report
What did the snowflake say to the road?
"Let’s stick together!"
Report
How do you get a snow monster to go away?
Get into a heated argument.
Report
Why are we only concerned about snowmen, not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Report
"It was so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets."
Report
"It was so cold outside that I saw a Greyhound bus, and the dog was riding on the inside."
Report
Why did the husband pour warm water on his computer?
He had asked his wife what to do if windows froze.
Report
Why do skeletons hate winter?
They get chilled to the bone.
Report
Why do bears hibernate in winter?
So they don’t Netflix and chill.
Report
Why did the snowman go to the doctor?
He was feeling chilled!
Report
What is a Snowman's favorite drink?
An ice-cappuccino.
Report
What do you call a seagull during the winter?
A brrr-d!
Report
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in winter?
She was no spring chicken!
Report
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Report
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Report
What did the ski hat say to the ski scarf?
"You hang around while I go on ahead."
Report
What did Frosty the Snowman want as a career?
To be in snow business.
Report
"Since it started snowing, my grandpa has been staring out the window. I will have to let her in if it gets any colder!"
Report
What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
Report
What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
Iced tea.
Report
How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Report
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Report
What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Ice krispies treats.
Report
What do snowmen do when the weather’s too hot for scarves and hats?
They change into puddles.
Report
If your reindeer lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one?
A re-tail store.
Report
What do you call a ghost in the winter?
Casp-brrrrr.
Report
What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
Report
How do mountains stay warm?
They put on their snowcaps.
Report
What did the sign say in the reindeer stable?
“There’s snow place like home.”
Report
What do you call it when a reindeer ignores you?
The cold shoulder.
Report
Where do snowmen love to dance?
At a snow ball.
Report
Did you hear about the rude snowman?
He didn’t carrot all.
Report
No one likes eating outside in the winter.
It’s frost come, frost served.
Report
What do you call a winter monster with a six-pack?
Abdominal snowman.
Report
How do you decorate a snowman’s cake?
Lots of icing.
Report
Who delivers the Christmas presents to baby sharks?
Santa Jaws.
Report
Why do seals like to swim in saltwater?
Because they don't really like chilly water.
Report
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilifice sauce.
Report
How do snowmen greet each other?
“Ice to meet you!”
Report
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The meltdown diet.
Report
What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Owlgebra.
Report
"I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today… Well, I’m guessing she was poor. She only had $1.00 in her purse."
Report
What Chuck Norris can make in winter?
Fire with two ice cubes.
Report
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was walking south for the winter.
Report
What do snowmen win at the Olympics?
"Cold" medals!
Report
What does Rachel Green's job title change to in winter?
A brrrista!
Report
Why is it hard to ski after a fresh snow?
"With great powder comes great responsibility."
Report
Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking?
Their dishes are best served cold.
Report
Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter?
He could really turn a freeze.
Report
What did Yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnel vision?
"All ICY is you!"
Report
When are your eyes not eyes?
When the cold winter wind makes them water!
Report
Why was the snowman so sad?
Because he had a blue Christmas.
Report
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside!
Report
Why did the two snowmen divorce?
One thought the other was a flake.
Report
I told these to my friends and they "loved" them!! Thank you Bored Panda! More jokes please!
I told these to my friends and they "loved" them!! Thank you Bored Panda! More jokes please!