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30 People In This Online Group Reveal Their Best Jokes That Hardly Ever Fail To Make Others Laugh
A lot of us appreciate a good joke, knowing that to make someone laugh is a pretty tough thing to do. Especially when people tend to have a different taste in humor, have different views on a certain matter, or simply don’t know the broader context to understand the joke. There is a thin line between making someone giggle and harshly offending them. And of course, there is no one good recipe on how to make someone laugh. Having this in mind, one Reddit user asked others online to share their one “go-to” joke. The question that received almost 19k upvotes was followed by many hilarious jokes that people were proud to share. Users were quick to reveal some of the short and punny jokes that can put a smile on someone’s face.
Which one of these jokes is your favorite? Maybe you have one of yours that could be added to this list? Don’t forget to leave it in the comments down below!
More Info: Reddit
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#1
A farmer looks up and sees his prized sheepdog running toward him.
The sheepdog is panting, and says, "Boss, I did it. It took me all morning, but I finally got all 100 sheep in the barn."
The farmer says, "That's great, but we only have 97 sheep."
The sheepdog says, "Yeah, I know. I rounded them up."
Everydayhuman83 4 years ago
at least he didn't eat 40,000 bananas in 10 min or he would die of radiation poisoning. (Or The Alternative 400 Bananas To Die Of Potassium Poisoning)
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#2
I went to the coffee shop the other day, and the lady behind the counter asked me what I wanted. I said "Give me your mildest roast".
She looked at me for a moment and said "You have the most average ears".
Valley Girl 4 years ago
BURN!!!! But like in a "the coffee was just a little too hot" kinda way.
#3
What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?
I don't know either, but they're awake all night wondering if there is a dog
Jayne Kyra 4 years ago
Aw, Headway Upper-Intermediate, Unit 4, Milton story! Such an awesome joke for ESL speakers. (Headway is a series of ESL textbooks.)
#4
God spoke to John and said, "Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
#5
I keep confusing the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza", and now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Signe Manat Hansen 4 years ago
The two are mutually exclusive as they have strict rules about visible tattoos in Japanese bath houses exactly to avoid letting in the Yakuza 😆 so a jacuzzi is actually a good place to hide.
Mary Rose Kent 4 years ago
When you find your jacuzzi covered in tattoos, you’ll know the yakuza are staking out your place!
Jayne Kyra 4 years ago
For some reason this made me think of both Final Fantasy VII (if you know, you know), and the Yakuza series.
#6
Don't know if that will translate into English lol
Do you have anything to drink? - I have water. -Do you have anything harder? -Ice
Destiney Haddox 4 years ago
It translates perfectly for me. We say "hard" or "harder" when we're talking about alcohol so I got it right away. 👍
Mary Rose Kent 4 years ago
To be fair, it was in the posted job description...
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snipergun 4 years ago
I want to apologize to you for downvotes I didn't give you because you are actually right about English not translating this right. What's wrong with people...
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#7
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Sky Render 4 years ago
Two fish swam into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
Boards Of Panada 4 years ago
Two fish in a tank. They both immediately die as it’s was a military Tank (with no water).
Menacia Jones 4 years ago
This is not correct. Should be The scene: Two fish in a tank. First fish to second fish "Are you sure you know how to drive this?"
#8
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "what's a steering wheel doing in your pants?" And the pirate says "It's driving me nuts!"
juice 4 years ago
i think because he says "me nuts" instead of "my nuts", allowing the joke to work
Load More Replies... #9
Do you know what is the opposite of lady fingers?
mentos
Me Oh My 4 years ago
It's been 10 minutes and I still don't get it. Mind explaining?
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april jenkins 4 years ago
A random guy handed me some the other day: "mentos?" I replied:"they sure do. Once the reached teen."
#10
i told my girlfriend she draws her eyebrows on too high. she looked surprised.
Terilee Bruyere 4 years ago
One has to wonder, if you catch her mid make-up routine, does she perhaps look like The Rock flashing the People's Eyebrow?
#11
A man walks into a zoo.
There's only one dog in it.
It's a shih tzu.
Gin. No tonic 4 years ago
It's a s.h.i.t. zoo (that's how you pronounce shih tzu). A bad zoo, because there's only one dog in it.
Load More Replies... steven mayes 4 years ago
I liked your joke, Another version would be.. what's a Shih tzu? One without any penguins.
#12
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Mazer 4 years ago
Midvale School for the Gifted!! For those unfamiliar, there was a really popular comic artist named Gary Larson. He created comics about many things and called it The Far Side. JUST GOOGLE Midvale School for the Gifted I miss his work and that of the creator of Calvin and Hobbes
Bettye McKee 4 years ago
Where's the preacher, the priest, and the rabbi? Walking into an arb, no doubt.
#13
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
𝖊𝖆 4 years ago
Ah I love anti-jokes! “What’s green and has wheels?” - “grass, I lied about the wheels”
Ian Osmond 4 years ago
In a similar vein: What's covered in green fuzz, has four legs, and will kill you if it manages to drop on you from a tree? A pool table.
Nicole Holt 4 years ago
The first one that made me snort out loud. Yes, I love stupid jokes like this one.
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
I saw a thing where Legoshi from Beastars was doing stand-up, and he said "What's gray, has pointy ears, enjoys howling at the moon, and eats cement? A gray wolf like me, I just threw in the cement thing to make it hard." xD perfect anti-joke!
#14
My favorite joke of all time in the history of forever.
What do you call a broken can opener?
A can't opener.
CultOfBambi 4 years ago
It reminds me of Once Upon a Time in Mexico where Johnny Depp's character asks Danny Trejo's whether he's a Mexican or a Mexican't. Properly cracked me up.
Sand Castle 4 years ago
That thing where you see faces in inanimate objects...yeah. That. here. Now.
#15
My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is getting better
Subhashinie Ambegoda 4 years ago
gravity FAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#16
I dont trust Elevators.
I am taking steps to avoid them.
Uisgea Beatha 4 years ago
And the mathematician hated negative numbers so much, he would stop at nothing to avoid them.
#17
Why did the old man fall down into the well? Cuz he couldn't see that well.
Christopher Seaton 3 years ago
Someone once said I was so stupid that I couldn't name two places you can find water. I said, "well, dam."
#18
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back.
A stick.
#19
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Mary Rose Kent 4 years ago
Fun Fact: No bird is named “seagull,” and gulls are found at oceans, lakes, rivers, ponds, as well as seas.
#20
What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by a steamroller?
They became Flatman and Ribbon.
#21
What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say “Hey you, get off of my cloud” and a Scotsman says “Hey Mcloud, get off of my ewe.”
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
albernistuff 4sale 4 years ago
Why do Scotsman take sheep to the cliff edge? They push back harder.
Marina Bailey 4 years ago
However, if the person was really Scottish, their surname would be spelled MacLeod.
#22
A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?"
John Smith 4 years ago
A priest, a nun, a rabbit, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what you doing here", the rabbit replies, "I think I am a typo"
The Scout 4 years ago
A priest, a nun, a rabbit, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, "I think I might be a a type 0."
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Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
I'll tell y'all a joke story thingy I learned from my brother: A cowboy's horse just died, so he's in search of a new one. He wanders into his hometown, where he hasn't been in years, to see a new horse stable up. Walking in, he sees a man brushing a white stallion. The man stands up and asks what the cowboy is there for. "Well, my horse passed away last week, and I need a new one. Was wonderin' if you had any for sale." The stable owner smiled and nodded, pointing to the horse he was just brushing. "Yes, this one here. He doesn't even have a name, so you can come up with one if you'd like. I'd say he's the finest stallion you'll find in this town. He's fast and well-trained. If you're interested in buyin', I'll tell you how I trained him and how to make him stop and go." The cowboy shrugged, thinking he's got enough money to buy the horse, so he did. The man taught him how he trained him, "I'm a Jesus follower, so in order to make him go, you must shout 'thank God' just
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
--just like that. Then, to make him stop, you gotta say the word 'amen'. He's very well trained, so he will NOT stop runnin' till you give him the right command. Got it?" The cowboy nodded, carefully taking into account what was just said by the strange stable owner. Soon, he left the stable with his new white stallion, feeling proud to have such a steed. "I'm not busy," he thought aloud. "I'll take the ol' boy for a joyride right here and right now." So he mounted the stallion and said the words with excitement. "Thank God!" The horse, almost immediately, whinnied and started galloping forward. The cowboy expertly steered the horse around and headed toward a nice open space by his town. He rode around for a while, thinking that he was probably the coolest, most impressive person the nearby townspeople had ever laid their eyes upon. After a short while, the cowboy had become so lax that he didn't notice the steep cliff he and his horse were approaching!
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#23
Where did the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
Karynne Williams 4 years ago
This has been one of my all time favorite jokes since I was a kid. Right up there what is green and sings? Elvis Parsley!
Kimberly Young 4 years ago
OMG I love that rat! My nakey rat has been sleeping in my sleeves all the time since it started to get colder.
William Sugarman 4 years ago
The Flying Karamazov Brothers came up with this joke back in the 80's.
#24
How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh Prints.
#25
What do you call a fish with eight eyes? Fiiiiiiiish
Taryn Wallace 4 years ago
I came here to say this joke and I'm happy someone else did too!!!
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Mary Rose Kent 4 years ago
You are incorrect...but I didn’t down-vote you because you’d already been clobbered a couple of times by others
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#26
What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and poorly dressed one on a bicycle?
Attire (a tire)
#27
Why do ducks have feathers? To hide their buttquacks
#28
Two drums and cymbals fell off a cliff.
Bah dum tish!
Nicholas Kramer 4 years ago
Man washes up on an island with a native tribe. The first day he hears the drums constantly drumming and ask someone, when do the drums ends? They respond "never". The next day the same thing happens and the man can hardly sleep, he ask someone else and they respond "never". A week goes by and the man is desperate and angry and yells "why won't thr drums stop!!!!" The chief of the tribe tells him "when drum solo stops, bass solo starts".
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
one of Tom Scott's earliest videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eXj97stbG8
Heather Mack-Scott 4 years ago
Came here hoping someone commented this. :-)
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Phil Boswell 4 years ago
Somewhere on YouTube there's a video of Tom Scott replicating this sound, properly!
#29
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Pepperwater makes them sneeze.
#30
What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam.
Marina Bailey 4 years ago
This is my second-favourite joke after the 'two fish in a tank' one!
#31
Why did the man at the can crushing factory quit?
Because it was soda pressing!
#32
Where does a bee go to use the bathroom?
To the BP station.
#33
What's a cowboys favorite car? Many people say it's a bronco, but it's actually an Audi, pardner
Russell Ellwardt 4 years ago
LOL - that photo was taken in my city, according to the number plate on the car.
#34
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty
Scagsy 4 years ago
Took my naked girlfriend to a fancy dress party once. 'What have you come as?' inquired the host. 'A tortoise', I replied, 'This is Michelle'.
Ben Steinberg 4 years ago
This is a funny joke but I fail to see what her being naked has to do with anything. It would have been just as funny as "Took my girlfriend to a fancy dress party once..." Thanks for the laugh.
Load More Replies... #35
Knock knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery.
#36
what kind of flowers grow under your nose? Tulips
#38
What kind of overalls do Mario and Luigi wear?
Denim Denim Denim
Sky Render 4 years ago
If you listen to the underground music in the original Super Mario Bros on NES, it starts out with a bit that sounds a bit like that.
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Chicken Nugget 4 years ago
What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table. What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What else is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally.
Zaza 4 years ago
What is an elephant in a tree? One less on the ground. What is 2 elephants in a tree? One extra in the tree. What is 6 elephants in a tree? Very strong tree
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SeaMonster 4 years ago
what do you call a pair of tights that's too big? looses. what do you call someone who knows everything about food? omnomnomniscient. what do you use to impale and grill a french philosophe? a monteskewer.
Gary Watson 4 years ago
Why are giraffes necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies
Chicken Nugget 4 years ago
What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table. What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What else is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally.
Zaza 4 years ago
What is an elephant in a tree? One less on the ground. What is 2 elephants in a tree? One extra in the tree. What is 6 elephants in a tree? Very strong tree
Load More Replies... SeaMonster 4 years ago
what do you call a pair of tights that's too big? looses. what do you call someone who knows everything about food? omnomnomniscient. what do you use to impale and grill a french philosophe? a monteskewer.
Gary Watson 4 years ago
Why are giraffes necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies
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