Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Breaking news! There’s something strange happening in your area! We will report on it to the best of our abilities, but don’t be alarmed if there are a few typos we later have to correct. The important thing is that we will use crazy news headlines to grab your attention and go viral on Twitter. We will keep you updated on the story, but for now, that’s all. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
We all know there are always weird things happening worldwide, and many of them make the headlines. We’ve all come across the funny Florida man headlines, right? The oddest part is that the titles catch your attention even if the news isn’t particularly interesting. This might be because they have typos, focus on uncommon issues, or are unrescuable mental headlines.
For your entertainment, pandas, we’ve taken a trip through the feed of the ‘Crap Local News’ Twitter account. They share the most hilarious typo corrections and funniest news headlines. We were also lucky enough to interview Scotty Horsman, who hosts the ‘What a Weird Week’ podcast.
Don’t forget to upvote the pics you can’t believe are real. Feel free to share any hilarious headlines you’ve read in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
This Twitter Account Urges People to Enjoy More Funny News Headlines
Watching or reading the news can be an upsetting experience. Sometimes, it feels like the only things being reported are tragedies and atrocities. Don’t get us wrong; it’s essential to be aware of current events, but every now and then, it’s refreshing to read ridiculous headlines and laugh out loud. And that’s what the Crap Local News Twitter account is all about.
The account mainly focuses on funny UK headlines, but they don’t discriminate. Their bio notes that they share local news stories from “beyond” as well. But one thing that their posts show is that headlines can have quite an impact on audiences. Some people might get swayed and influenced by the attention-grabbing titles without understanding the story’s context. It is important to note how much power a headline can hold.
RELATED:
#8
Shyla Bouche 3 years ago
How did they find out that wearing a duck suit would make her feel better about life?
The Interesting Impact of a Headline
When you enjoy these funny breaking news headlines, it might not feel like they can drastically sway your opinion. But these news titles are more powerful than we could imagine. We consulted an article titled The Current State of News Headlines by research associates Joshua Scacco and Ashley Muddiman. The report examined the implications of crazy Internet headlines and how people select which story to read based on the flashiest title.
One point that Scacco and Muddiman raise is that the type of titles a news source uses impacts how their readers rate their credibility. Traditional news has to compete with digital and entertainment-focused sources. Due to this, they also move away from using standard titles, and you might see more funny newspaper headlines. Ultimately, this might make you question the reliability of traditional media.
#13
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I shouldn't be laughing, but the last bit is such a dumb asss thing to say. This was his takeaway, after 19 years of being bamboozled?
#16
cogadh 3 years ago
They used to literally. The Catholic Church used to sell "indulgences" which were like carbon credits, but for your sins. Buy enough and you could erase all your sins and go straight to heaven.
Load More Replies...
harpling 3 years ago
It may have been proven false, but can we still give some sort of prize to the writer who came up with the scenario of meeting Jesus behind a KFC, who told them to sell tickets to raise money to pay an alien named Stevie to take them to a planet made entirely of drugs?
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 3 years ago
I don't see how this is any different to any religion with a belief in an afterlife. After all, people attend church as their ticket to heaven.
Libstak 3 years ago
And are expected to tithe 10% of their income to many of the churches, especially evangelical cults.
Load More Replies...
idrow1 3 years ago
If tv preachers and politicians can exploit dumb people out of their money, why is this person being prosecuted for doing the same? If there was a law against trying to get dumb people to part with their money, there'd be economic collapse across almost every business and industry. How is this guy selling tickets to heaven any different than businesses pushing anti-aging cream that claims you'll look 20 years younger? It's just a sale based on a fictional claim. Don't people have to be accountable for the blatant lies they choose to believe?
TheReader19 3 years ago
Read the whole article, busy choking to death. But it's so worth it 😂😂
Brian bell 3 years ago
Was it because they claimed the tickets were solid gold, or that they were to heaven, or both? I can see the gold thing as a scam, but snake oil salesmen have been around since like forever and it is nearly always perfectly legal?
Tiny Dancer 3 years ago
All of this is madness, but if the tickets cost 100 bucks each and they were found with $10,000 ... that's a whole lot of nutbars running around with unusable tickets to Heaven and they're going to be ticked. And I love how quickly he turns to wearing a wire to set Jesus up.
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
As soon as you see "Florida" in the title, swallow whatever beverage you've sipped before continuing.
Teresa Taylor 3 years ago
I'm shocked that Tito was so willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up. That wasn't very Christian of him.
New Everywhere 3 years ago
This is b******t baloney. Jesus would meet you behind a Chick Fil A...liars
Frank Tereschak 3 years ago
"Simply present the ticket at the pearly gates"... great but how do you get there? Perhaps for an additional fee you could buy a stairway to heaven.
Ashley Hardy 3 years ago
This story is all over the place and truly is a summary of Florida. Willing to set up Jesus smh. 😂
mark glass 3 years ago
Easy to prove the tickets weren't gold, but how did the prosecutor prove they didn't work?
Casey Payne 3 years ago (edited)
All that and a baby alligator. But my questions are: were the golden tickets really gold as described, and does betraying the son of God nullify their use? Also, what kind of drugs did they imagine Stevie have that would be more magical than working with the son of God to sell tickets to the kingdom of Heaven? You could argue it's all in their head, but out of all the other stupidity, all they have are their motivations and nothing else, making it the only question that can have a real answer.
Christopher Bowers 3 years ago
Florida...why am I not surprised? Those Florida man stories needs its own anthology tv show where famous celebs guest stars to reenact those crazy shenanigans.
Angela Turrall 3 years ago
So Televangelists and mega churches can do it (via tithing) but this guy can't?
Jerry Lane 3 years ago
So an alien named Stevie gave them tix behind the KFC? What’s the problem? Jesus gave his ok. This is faith, people! Don’t be a hater!
Jane Cortez 3 years ago
Let me guess, they were also told that the baby alligator was actually Pegasus and they could ride up up and away while getting higher and higher….
too indesicive to choose name 3 years ago
Either this is a joke, or this is the most Florida-y Florida thing I've ever read.
Kurichfield 2 years ago
39 million shillings...brain unbusted. Thanks google you've done it again.
Load More Replies...
Steve Robert 3 years ago
Guys, I think you've both had enough drugs. Now get out of here before you miss your spacecraft
Stephen Waters 3 years ago
this has been proved to be made up, though i live in florida, and totally believe it could happen
Andy Frobig 3 years ago (edited)
The Church of the SubGenius charges $29.95 to get on the escape ships, and offers eternal salvation or triple your money back, so this doesn't seem like much of a deal in comparison
Catte West 3 years ago
"and a baby alligator.". Was he going with them into space, maybe the guide?
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
And that's why the official Florida state bird is crystal meth.
LizzieBoredom 3 years ago
Jesus himself gave Mr. Watts the tickets behind the KFC. It doesn't mention if The Colonel was involved.
Robert B 3 years ago
I remember when this happened! We were listening to radio at work looking at each other like what I imagine people looked like during the beginning of well’s broadcast of war of the worlds. I for one think that couple needs their own podcast. It was a beautiful story. The original news about it suggested that people actually bought tickets.
DragonflyGreen 3 years ago
This is fake. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/
Ugh_What_Now 2 years ago
So... "selling tickets to heaven" is illegal is it? May wanna tell that to the Catholic church. They've quite the history. This is literally no different than scientology or any other religion. If they hadn't claimed the tickets were made of solid gold; say instead they were "imbued" with the spirit of solid gold... I'd be signing a petition for them. What's good for the coufers is good for Florida man and lady after all.
tirebiter 3 years ago
I wonder if this could be used as a precedent to shut down every christian church?
Waddling Land Fish 3 years ago
It’s too bad there aren’t different versions of the church. Look up the United Methodists vs the Global Methodists
Load More Replies...
#17
PleasantCrocodile 3 years ago
Noooo, parrots are social animals. Just include a sign that says "parrots may use offensive language" by the exhibit.
How Can Traditional Media Compete With These Offbeat News Headlines?
It is understandable why even traditional news outlets would want to sensationalize their titles to get more clicks, but that’s how we end up with the worst newspaper headlines. They shouldn’t stray too far from their goals just to grab attention. Scacco and Muddiman note that some of the functions headlines can serve are “story summarization, interest generation, immediacy satisfaction, and attention direction.”
If the title has summarized the story, readers will click or continue to read if they’re interested in what happened. If a source wants to generate interest in a story, they should avoid using “flat headlines” and get creative. Using puns, wordplay, alliterations, or other literary devices can be a great way to build interest. A flashy headline can also be paired with photos or multimedia elements to attract viewers.
#21
#22
#24
This Podcast Covers Strange News Stories
To learn more about odd news, we contacted Scotty Horsman, the host of the ‘What a Weird Week’ podcast. First, we wanted to know what inspired Scotty to start such an unusual show centered around weird news.
“Fame and fortune, of course,” he told Bored Panda jokingly. “But also, my podcast is basically a ripoff of the old and wonderfully weird ‘Ripley’s Believe or Not’ radio feature. Did I say ripoff? I meant an homage. Oops.” Whatever he wants to call it, it’s certainly entertaining! His show highlights the funny TV news headlines and newspaper stories that you can't believe were published. Some are about events like mystery moon crashes, grilled cheese sandwich art, and Mariah Carey being sued for song thievery.
Why Are People So Captivated by Strange News?
“It’s terrific when you hear a story that seems absolutely bonkers and find yourself thinking—I guess anything’s possible!” he told Bored Panda.
How Does He Decide What to Feature on the Podcast?
He has a few requirements for the news stories he shares with listeners—not too saucy, not too deep, and interesting enough to tell his wife about at the supper table. When it comes to where he finds these weird news stories to share, he told us that they come from many sources. “But if you only had Twitter and Reddit, you’d have enough content for decades,” he added.
What Are His Favorite Topics to Discuss on the Show?
“I love all the weird food stories,” he shared. “When a restaurant chain introduces a fried chicken wine, that’s making the show for sure! Imagine the team of marketers who sat around tweaking that idea.” Scotty added that this may not have happened yet, but he expects it any day now.
#31
Ladies and Gentlemen 3 years ago
You call that pothole? I think we need a post where all Panda's share the images of pothole they got in their country!
#33
Lamont-rules-the-world 3 years ago
First of all it’s a Shawerma second of all he has i beard that looks like a beard.
#36
Serial pacifist 3 years ago
John is awake! - John: Shut up and give me that motherf*cking camembert and brie, bi*ch, and some of that slutty Swiss cheese with holes.
#46
Which Odd News Headline Shocked You the Most?
Did these photos make you want to watch the news, or do they make you want to facepalm? We hope you enjoyed these crazy news titles we can’t believe were published. Let us know in the comments which one made you do a double-take. Don’t forget to share absurd headlines from your local news. To keep the ball rolling, here are some big newspaper corrections that will make you regret having eyes.
#51
#56
#58
Sue Bradley 3 years ago
I happen to live in Taunton, I feel I need to investigate this story & report back, photos to follow if the masterpiece is still there ;)
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Sian Edwards 3 years ago
Way too many of these have come from the UK. When did we become Florida Man?!
James016 3 years ago
Hate to say it but we were here before Florida Man. UK local news is just batshit insane
Load More Replies...
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
I lost the clipping in a fire, but my absolute favorite story was in our local newspaper sometime in the late ‘90s. It told the story of a man taken to the ER after shooting himself in the foot. Not once. Three times, with 3 different guns, same foot. He said he’d been cleaning his .22 when it discharged into his foot. He said it “stung”. But, he kept on and started to clean his .38. It fired into the same foot. That one “kind of hurt”, so he took a bit of a break before starting to clean his .45. THAT one hurt badly enough he called 911. He swore to the responding officers that he thought they were unloaded. The final sentence in the article noted dryly that “Police said they believed that alcohol consumption may have played a part.” . . . Gee, I wonder whatever gave them that idea.
TheReader19 3 years ago
Good lord, I haven't had such a laugh in days. Well done bored panda you've done good today 👍👍
If 3 years ago
No unless you're a main character of the story. I'm sorry for you. ;-)
Load More Replies...
Calum Sanderson 2 years ago
I need the News Headline Cinematic Universe and have all of these made into movies
Canda (Cat Panda) 2 years ago
Did anyone else notice that BP blurred the c**p in the account name but not the @
Irishwoman abroad 3 years ago
Don't know when I've enjoyed an article so much, these were hilarious!
Randy Sanders 3 years ago
How many time are these ancient articles going to br passed off as someones original content?
Mary Peace 3 years ago
For as long as they get laughed at by people who haven't seen them before, and even some people who enjoy seeing them again.
Load More Replies...
Sian Edwards 3 years ago
Way too many of these have come from the UK. When did we become Florida Man?!
James016 3 years ago
Hate to say it but we were here before Florida Man. UK local news is just batshit insane
Load More Replies... Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
I lost the clipping in a fire, but my absolute favorite story was in our local newspaper sometime in the late ‘90s. It told the story of a man taken to the ER after shooting himself in the foot. Not once. Three times, with 3 different guns, same foot. He said he’d been cleaning his .22 when it discharged into his foot. He said it “stung”. But, he kept on and started to clean his .38. It fired into the same foot. That one “kind of hurt”, so he took a bit of a break before starting to clean his .45. THAT one hurt badly enough he called 911. He swore to the responding officers that he thought they were unloaded. The final sentence in the article noted dryly that “Police said they believed that alcohol consumption may have played a part.” . . . Gee, I wonder whatever gave them that idea.
TheReader19 3 years ago
Good lord, I haven't had such a laugh in days. Well done bored panda you've done good today 👍👍
If 3 years ago
No unless you're a main character of the story. I'm sorry for you. ;-)
Load More Replies... Calum Sanderson 2 years ago
I need the News Headline Cinematic Universe and have all of these made into movies
Canda (Cat Panda) 2 years ago
Did anyone else notice that BP blurred the c**p in the account name but not the @
Irishwoman abroad 3 years ago
Don't know when I've enjoyed an article so much, these were hilarious!
Randy Sanders 3 years ago
How many time are these ancient articles going to br passed off as someones original content?
Mary Peace 3 years ago
For as long as they get laughed at by people who haven't seen them before, and even some people who enjoy seeing them again.
Load More Replies... You May Like A Selection Of Probably The Craziest Florida Man Headlines 40 Weird, Unhinged And Bizarre Images That Are Not For The Easily Offended (New Pics) "Don't Test Me, I'm Already Broken": 30 Hilarious Memes From This Online Group For Programmers
Vaiva Vareikaite
Gabija Saveiskyte
Rugilė Žemaitytė
Related on Bored Panda
