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“What’s An Unspoken Social Rule That Americans Follow That Aren’t Obvious To Visitors?” (30 Answers)
The one thing I learned in sociology class is that it’s fun to break social norms*. They’re not laws in the traditional sense, so you can’t go to jail for it. But be ready to risk that non-zero chance of suffering a blunt force trauma from a rando who doesn’t understand the difference.
Yep, cultural and social norms have a way of keeping order in a society in ways that don’t involve law enforcement—rather using the ol' stink eye, public shaming and similar tactics. Today’s topic deals with this particular thing, pointing out social norms specific to the US that non-USians might not be aware of.
* For the record, that’s not the only thing I learned in sociology. But it sure as heck stuck with me all these years.
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#1
If you're a woman, especially a woman by yourself, and another woman or group of women suddenly start talking to you like they know you really well, play along.
This is a tactic that some American women will use to warn each other about a man who's following them, or to scare him off by making him think his target's not alone anymore. After the strange woman/women make a show of "recognizing" you, they'll probably let you know that they saw you were being followed.
Another situation where American women may use this tactic is when they see a man harassing a lone woman on a bus or subway.
Of course, the strange women will still be strangers, and you should stay in public places with lots of others around.
Wondering Alice 2 years ago
First time this happened to me (UK) I was really confused. I was in my teens walking through a train carriage when an elderly lady called out to me like I was her relative, her friends joined in sounding like they were overjoyed to see me and insisting I come and tell them my news. I sat down, confused, one leaned forward and told me quietly that there were unpleasant men further up the carriage and I must stay in a crowd. They also asked the conductor to see me safely off the train. I felt really protected, and always remember as I have grown to pass that on to others.
Chez2202 2 years ago
I love that you are passing this on to others. My daughter was in a situation on public transport where a man was shouting at her and her friend, calling them names, scaring them. I’ve mentioned it here before. She was really afraid, she called me to meet her at her stop and a different man followed her to me and explained that he was making sure she got to me safely. He was really worried for her but he was also concerned that we would think badly of him for following her. We were just grateful. There are a lot of protectors out there. When they find us we are lucky and passing that on is the best way of thanking them.
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Sue Mullen Andersen 2 years ago
I have done this here in the US and during my international travel. I think this is true of all women, regardless of our home country. :(
Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
The reverse is true also: if you see a woman being confronted or followed, greet her like a friend.
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Sometimes, a woman will approach and pretend to be your friend because she’s the one being followed.
Billycat 2 years ago
Reminds me of the time an older women made a huge scene on the train shaming all the men sitting down who hadn't offered me (heavily pregnant) their seat. Nice of her, but pretty embarrassing. Not sure why it's only the men she picked on lol
Chez2202 2 years ago
You say she was an older woman. Depending on when this happened I would think that she grew up in a time where men were gentlemen and most would automatically offer their seats to a pregnant lady.
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jdtimid123 2 years ago
Also works the other way around, she may be worried about being followed and hoping that being seen "with someone" will make her less of a target.
Craig Boddys 2 years ago
Ive seen this used by women who just wanted to get more info on their targets for a robbery/mugging they had planned for later that night.
RELATED:
#2
Spack_Jarrow24 said:
Don’t stand so close that I can feel your [friggin'] breath.
PatientFM replied:
If you're less than an arm's length away in a non-crowded space, you're too close to me. Get away.
WillyBluntz89 replied:
Only lovers and hated enemies should come within 1 sword length.
PatientFM replied:
I'm 100% behind this rule.
Standard_Ad_272 replied:
Then you’re too close.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Try telling that to the Germans queuing up at the Aldi cashier on a Saturday afternoon
Noname 2 years ago (edited)
And the French! Today I had to ask a woman to give me room so I could use the card machine at checkout
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Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 2 years ago
Different countries/ cultures have a different sense of personal space. Americans have the largest sense of personal space by a lot. I read it was about 30 inches. So, I’ve been talking to my American coworkers at a distance of about 20 inches today for a little scientific research. Can confirm. No one likes this. Probably a me issue tho.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
This is accurate. Though some of us Americans also do not know personal space. I have a coworker who wants to be able to see every hair follicle on your face they're so close
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
I'm tall with very long arms. Stand too close behind me and you'll get an elbow in the nose before very long.
Mikkel Sørensen 2 years ago (edited)
This applies in Denmark aswell! edit: And not just queuing. You do NOT stand too close to a Dane, we don't like you.
DarkGlassSphere 2 years ago
Oh, my! I just remembered the person, who have a habit to stand close to you, like almost the palm length between you and him. And no matter how many times you make a step back, he is sticking back immediately!
Roan The Demon Kitty 2 years ago
This is pretty standard social rule in the UK and most of Northern Europe, too.
Jackie Calisto 2 years ago
Come to South - Africa, a lot of people here have no clue about personal space. Standing in a queue is not a fun experience here.
#3
thisisntshakespeare said:
In addition to not getting out of your car when pulled over by police: do NOT attempt to give them money. Bribes are a serious offense.
TrulieJulieB00 replied:
In addition to this - if you drive an older, beat up car and get pulled over at night in a city: Turn OFF your engine, turn ON your interior lights, and put BOTH hands on your steering wheel so that they’re visible.
DO NOT REACH FOR YOUR ID UNTIL THE COP IS THERE AND ASKS FOR IT.
MrPeterson15 replied:
Also a good idea to announce what you’re going to do, and often ask permission too.
“I have my registration in the glovebox. Is it ok if I reach over to grab it from there?”
“My ID is in my back pocket. Is it ok if I move to grab it?”
Quick, jarring movements, especially those to the glovebox or towards your hips, can be seen as hostile and it is best to make it clear you plan on moving and why.
Donkey boi 2 years ago
I think this says more about the police than anything else. Maybe some training on how to not shoot people that are just acting normal and not a threat....
Fat Harry 2 years ago
Imagine having to be this cautious with the police to simply not be shot.
Ellie Hope 2 years ago
America is crazy, how do you all relax knowing guns are so commonly carried?
Stephen Lyford 2 years ago
The sad and pathetic thing is, all of these precautions are necessary because the police would rather shoot & kill you, than proceed more cautiously.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago
US police are trained to be gun happy. I worked with a guy who quit to go to the state police academy. At the end of each hour, a bell would sound to signify a break. This is common in US schools. His class was taught that anytime they heard a bell, they were supposed to stand up and draw their gun. Officially this was to teach them how to draw their gun in a fluid motion from a sitting position through repetition. However, I think we can all agree that this is Pavlovian training to draw your weapon without thinking. 8 times a day for 6 weeks the bell went off and the entire class drew their guns. Sometimes the instructor would ring a bell on their desk. That's a bad thing. That's how people get shot and the cop then says "I thought I saw xxx". They never actually thought - the gun just comes out.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Also if they want your money they will straight-up steal it - sorry, "civil forfeiture" it - so it doesn't do any good to let them know you have it.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
U should do this REGARDLESS of what u drive. Cops deal with too many shootings this way from stolen cars. It's just the safest way to handle being pulled ovet
Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
If you are a person of color, assume the cop will be hostile or bullying. There are places where cops will pull you over just for DWB. They might drop some trash on the road behind you and claim you threw it. They were about to pull that one until they realized my passengers and I were white
Simon Bolivar 2 years ago
For a better understanding of all this, watch: Chris Rock - How not to get your a** kicked by the police! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8
#4
ginger_bird said:
If you ask an American "You alright?" Or "You ok?" We will believe you are expressing concern for us. It's not a greeting like it is for the British.
On the other hand, "How ya doing?" is a greeting.
BooksAndStarsLover replied
Oh yeah. Ive had people do that to me and I always get flustered thinking I look bad that day.
Thesaurii replied:
To my fellow Americans: dont ask a German how their day is going. They dont say "good, good" or "living the dream". Theyll tell you about their whole damn day.
Robert T 2 years ago
Neither of those is a British greeting. It's just "alright?" or "ok?". It is more usual to pass the time of day - such as mornin', aft'noon, evenin'.
Julie S 2 years ago
Yeah you say "alright" and then they say "alright" no reply needed.
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Tams21 2 years ago
It's only because in Germany people assume if you ask a question that actually want to hear the answer. I prefer that over the fake niceness in other countries.
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Sonja 2 years ago (edited)
German here. We have several greetings you use if you just want to greet that are definitely greetings like hello, or good day etc. But if you ask us a question we assume you want an answer and either you'll get one or we'll tell you we don't want to talk about it. We don't ask questions for greetings, we ask questions to get answers. Depending on the situation even rhetorical questions can be unusual or even seen as rude. They're not as common as in English speaking countries.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Okay, genuinely wondering, then, because I learned "wie gehts" as a greeting, so... is it?
Load More Replies... Noname 2 years ago
I had a Franco-British friend who would greet me by asking "are you alright?" which put me on the defensive because it didn't sound like she was asking me "how are you doing" but that she had noticed something was "off" about me. Out of irritation, I once replied, "why? Do I look like sh*t?"
Zelda Fitzgerald 2 years ago
There was a Czech chef at my old restaurant that always used to ask me "you ok?" when greeting me and I would be like "yeah, why?" I thought I had resting sad face or something. Took me the longest time to figure out that was just the way he greeted people.
Mary Rotman 2 years ago
Even this an American myself, I hate the "how are you" that so many people uses a greeting when they have no interest in how you are whatsoever. Beware. In america, no one cares how you are when they say this.
Pigeonvonbirb 2 years ago
Actually, I would live to hear about their whole day lol. That's why I'm asking right?
Invisible Potato 2 years ago
this is one thing i cant get my head around. #mericans doesnt say "hi, ahoy, hello, ahoj" to greet, but asking how are you doing without actualy wanting to know how you doing. i find it... pretensios, two faced and fake.
#5
unimatrix43 said:
Don't tell us what's up with our country while you're in our country. Even to Americans who are a bit Anti-American (like me) it makes our skin crawl. We hear enough criticism on the internet and when we travel abroad so we really don't want your opinion while you're here on vacation.
Ocean_Soapian replied:
It's just poor manners in general, but I think that's everywhere. No one living in any country wants to hear from foreigners anything but positive things about their country.
Alecto76 2 years ago
I agree with this - we live in this shitshow and know how miserable and unfair it is from personal experience. People on the internet (like some here) pile on like we all are oblivious to the problems we deal with daily. No need to do it in person also. We get it.
RedMarbles 2 years ago
Agreed. The shitshow is stressful and terrifying and us good and reasonable citizens are fighting against the shitshow with everything we can. The piling on is unhelpful, and the glee in doing so is misplaced. If this ship goes down, many of you dancing on the grave of the US may follow.
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Cathy Roberts 2 years ago
I wish I could upvote this times a billion. We know. We know. Trust me, WE KNOW. If it we could run everything by popular vote things would be better but....we can't. It's complicated system that no longer represents the majority.
Noname 2 years ago (edited)
On my 2nd visit to France to see my bf, we were invited to dinner with some Algerian friends of his at their house. One of the women decided she needed to vent her frustrations of American politics on me (while the hosts were completely mortified) in French, which I didn't speak, so my bf had to translate her tirade for me. She thought she was humiliating me but I (through my bf) listened to her and told her that I understood her frustrations but that I had no direct influence in DC, and that I would convey what she had said to my state senator as soon as I returned to the USA. Then we had a very nice meal and that was that. Sometimes you need to let people vent and not take it personally. A lot of Brits think they're insulting me when they say Hersheys chocolate tastes like shite, but the jokes on them because I don't like chocolate at all! 😊
Tree P 2 years ago
I hate it when people complain about other countries food. If you don't like it, fine, that's you. There's alot of food from other counties I wouldn't feed my dog, let alone me. Yet I don't go on a rampage about it.
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Mona 2 years ago (edited)
Yup. Italian guy once went on and on about how dangerous America was. I told him gun violence is actually really rare, unlike petty crimes in Italy, where I didn't pay attention for a second and lost my purse and the expensive camera inside it. (I was young and stupid, it was an expensive lesson, and I learned it!) Man, that guy was so offended that I dared say something bad about his beloved country! He didn't have the self-awareness to realize he'd been doing the same thing. (ETA: This was 20 years ago, and gun violence was much rarer than than now. Also, Italian guy acknowledged he'd never even seen a gun much less been shot at.)
Tushar Roy Mukherjee 2 years ago
I don't think any country has 'country issues', more like 'political party issues'.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
If a country is often victim to sea storms or earthquakes, for instance, that's a country issue, not a political party issue. Many charactersitics of a nation are not attributable to any current political party. One disturbing aspect of the US is our high level of traffic deaths, but neither political camp is the cause.
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Amusingly, watch the English-language Russian TV channel (RT? I think?) You watch to find out what's going on over there.... But 99% of the time they're complaining about the US. We got it, you hate the US. It's hilarious.
Boredest Disabled Panda 2 years ago
RT is run by the Russian government, so it's just propaganda. Of course they are going to trash the US, because it's Putin's mission to sow disagreement in the US. Even if they covered more of Russian news, it's guaranteed that it will only be what Putin wants the world to hear, and therefore not accurate. I believe there are still a few independent Russian news outlets, but they can only operate outside of Russia now that Putin has control of all the media inside of Russia.
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Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
True of any country I visit tbh. Why not tell folk what you love about their country, let them enjoy your enjoyment? You won’t make friends dragging someone’s country or town down, they can do it way better than you can anyway. Get a few beers or soft drinks in, enjoy the place, enjoy the company, let the evening pass and swerve religion, politics and being critical of their home, you’ll have way more fun.
Vedette Aecus 2 years ago
I am all in favor of mandatory 2 years of service before college, in disadvantaged countries, so the people from the US can understand how good they really have it in this "shitshow". Yes, we are far from perfect, and some other countries may do some things much better. You still have no idea how good you have it.
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
hmmm everytime locals find out im European, they start ranting about how much better it is in EU and how many things in the US sukc. i usually tell them the EU is not the paradise some US think it is.
Boredest Disabled Panda 2 years ago
Paradise doesn't exist anywhere. But that doesn't mean we can't learn from other countries when perhaps they have found an adequate solution to a problem we also face. I wish more Americans could see that. Instead, anyone who suggests that is labeled a "socialist" or "communist" by a certain political party. I don't necessarily think that the EU has all the answers to America's problems, I just wish more people were willing to look at options regardless of where they originate. Sticking with things that don't work out of a misguided belief that America can do no wrong is ridiculous.
Load More Replies...So we’re on the same page, social norms are unwritten rules that determine how things should be around here. They apply within communities and societies and essentially dictate what behavior is appropriate given the context.
In the traditional sense, social norms are informal guidelines. These can be anything from shaking one’s hand when greeting them to picking the urinal that’s not the one right next to another guy draining his Johnson.
But, social norms can also manifest in a more formal way, becoming laws and regulations. After all, these are enacted based on the social and cultural climate of the society—that which is accepted and considered fair among its members. That doesn’t mean there can’t be contradictions because it’s complicated, but it works because people.
#6
Typically don’t discuss religion or politics with strangers. Regardless if I agree with you I don’t want you to hear you ramble on.
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
I wish Americans weren't so keen to do this with each other either. I'm just trying to eat my baked potato I don't need to hear your opinion about the president. It's even worse when Healthcare professionals are sharing Jesus or politics talk.
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago
Well, we're all likely going to be killing each other here in a couple years, so maybe that'll get it out of our systems. This country has been split into two diametrically opposed belief systems that can't exist together.
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Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
The problem in the US is that our two party system has become so polarized that nearly all voters want the half that supports the other side to change their minds. We need more nuance and more options.
CrazyKnitter 2 years ago
You may also be surprised at which topics are political and therefore to be avoided. Even I have trouble sometimes with mentioning something that the other person turns political and I'm an American.
#7
Don’t assume America and Americans are a monolith. Nothing grates my gears more than foreigners coming to America and treating locals like dirt and talking down to them because one time, when they were in Disney world, an American looked at them cross eyed so that obviously means all Americans are rude. Stop. Please, for the love of god. One bad experience doesn’t mean you can generalize a group of 300 million people.
CrazyKnitter 2 years ago
America is huge. Different areas, states, counties or even cities can be very different from what is right around the corner. Midwesterners are very different from Southerners, who are very different from New Yorkers, who are very different than Californians. It's like expecting Germans to be the same as French people.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Hell, some states (I'm in California, but it applies to Texas, Florida, New York, and probably a few others too) are themselves not monoliths. I'm Californian, but I don't live in Hollywood. I don't live on the beach. I don't live near redwoods. Never been to Yosemite (I know, I know!). I live in the "Inland Empire". It's desert, but not *really* -- it's over an hour to the beach, over an hour to Joshua Tree, almost an hour to Disneyland (okay, I don't even know how many times I've been there, so that stereotype holds up), and don't ask me about gas prices. But it's huge. HUGE. Start in San Diego, drive north, and when you pull over, exhausted, to sleep, you will still be in California. We have the highest and lowest altitudes in the lower 48. And there's an ultra marathon between the two points. The highest temp ever was recorded here, oh and Mammoth is STILL OPEN for skiing. Don't assume anything about anyone.
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birgitta Moehring 2 years ago
As a German, who (despite my parents being born in the 1940ies) still gets generalized with the stereotype of German Nazi, I feel with you! (Curiosly correcting people "But I am Austrian" means I am getting an apology. So they all "know" that Germany are Nazis, but not the Nationalität of Adolf Hitler...)
RedMarbles 2 years ago
Thank you for the solidarity! So nice to see a brave non-American go against the majority and take a stand against stereotyping on a post about stereotyping Americans. It's really appreciated by this American and I'm so sorry you've ever had to feel lumped I'm with Nazis due to your place of birth.
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Michelle C 2 years ago
Yup. I see quite a lot of that on social media especially and it’s tiring. I’ve also noticed that the same people who denigrate Americans confidently often times are the same ones who would get upset if someone from another country, America or elsewhere, made generalizations about their country and culture. Why can’t we all just treat one another with kindness, and be open to learning about one another’s lives before making judgments?
Aria Whitaker 2 years ago
I say this all the time on this very site. They will say some of the most cringey things about Americans, but the MINUTE an American says something that can be construed as xenophobic, they are called every name for “bigot” that exists. It is a double standard that benefits no one and just increases resentment where it is unnecessary. You cant call Americans fat, stupid, daft, clueless...then turn around and clutch your pearls when they generalize your country and its citizens.
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JayWantsACat 2 years ago
What I tell people is to think of the US as like the EU. Would you make broad generalizations about the entirety of the EU because you had a bad experience in X country? While the US is obviously not as diverse in culture as the EU, even within the same state there can be cultural differences. In my state there's sort of a rivalry between the north and south. Although I will say that we tend to generally be friendly and open across the board.
DadManBlues 2 years ago
I don't understand why this thing is on this list. It's not especially an American social rule. It is valid for the whole world: not all Arabs are terrorist, not all Frech guys like blue cheese and not all Hungarians are that amazingly intelligent ;-)
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
I’ve met, talked to and had dealings with far more decent folk from the US than rude or negative ones. Best to assume folk are decent until they prove you wrong really, works for all races, creed, religions, sexes, nationalities, aliens or otherwise. Normally best to assume apex predators want to kill you though.
happyplants28 2 years ago
Absolutely. My brothers love to generalise Americans when they have never met one. Bullish*t
#8
One I never see mentioned is funeral processions (a long line of cars traveling behind a hearse on their way to the cemetery for burial). At least where I grew up, it's customary to pull off to the side of the road when a funeral procession is passing by in the opposite lane and not to resume driving until the last car in the procession has passed.
I assume that might be more of a rural thing than an urban thing...
In some places funeral processions have right of way at intersections (meaning each car in the procession will proceed through the STOP sign one after the other while other vehicles at the intersection must wait). And you're not supposed to cut through the middle of the procession line, but let them pass.
A girl 2 years ago
It's a city thing too. It brought tears to my eyes seeing cars along a major roadway in St Paul, MN pull over and turn on their lights for my FILs trip to the cemetery.
Wondering Alice 2 years ago
Here in UK too. Last year my uncle passed and we needed to drive through a busy part of Liverpool. I expected the cars to stop, I think that is a given. I had not expected that in a big busy city people on road sides stopped walking and bowed heads as we went past. I know this is a thing in rural areas. It is beautiful reminder we are all connected.
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Weim Central 2 years ago
Now folks use their hazard lights to denote their participation in a funeral procession since so many cars have DRLs now.
Alecto76 2 years ago
It's everywhere. I've lived in rural areas and in urban areas. I've never seen anyone not respect a funeral procession.
brandyy17 2 years ago
unfortunately i have. my grandpas. me and my immediate family were in a limo behind the hearse and some a$$hole cut infront of us. a cop saw this and made him pull over and from wat others told us the cop kept him there until the last car passed by. my friends were in the last car and saw the guy get a ticket. apparently u can get a ticket for jumping directly behind the hearse. u can also get a ticket if u pretend to b part of the funeral procession. if a cop sees a car without a funeral paper in the window following along they can give u a ticket. they arent laws themselves bc its disrespectful they count it as traffic violations.
Load More Replies... SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Here, funeral processions have "FUNERAL" decals on the back of the participating cars, and they keep to the right lane. Southern California traffic does NOT stop for funeral processions. Except Michael Jackson or Frank Sinatra. Everything stopped for them.
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
I'm American and I didn't know this. It's not something you see where I am. I think the last time I saw one I was a kid so I wasn't the one driving but now I know if I'm ever in the situation.
madbakes 2 years ago
Same. Processions stay together, but I've never seen people pulling over.
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whineygingercat 2 years ago (edited)
Twice I was part of funeral processions going to a Veterans Cemetary, and not only did people in the opposite lane stop, several people got out, stood by their cars, and stood at attention as the hearse went past.
steven mayes 2 years ago
Whilst In a line of 10 cars clearly behind a hearse for my MIL a car towing a caravan decided to join in the middle (to make the next turning). The woman passenger was mortified but we did have a laugh.
YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
No law mandates pulling over when a procession is passing. However! Many states give them right of way, so best bet is to yield regardless.
#9
Sarollas said:
Not tipping because you think tipping culture is stupid doesn't rebel against tipping culture, it just stiffs minimum wage workers.
ninjette847 replied:
Yeah, if you're so against tipping, don't go to places you need to tip. Supporting the business that makes the policy and stiffing the workers isn't taking a stand or making a change. It's like saying you're against Walmart, then shopping at Walmart and taking it out on the cashier.
SlightlyTarnished 2 years ago
I've always been a good tipper (20-30%), that said, in the US it's gone from tipping those who receive the "tipped minimum wage" (lower minimum wage) to many places paying minimum wage or better and asking for tips (tip jars, tip apps, sometimes asking direct). It's become a joke and more than a bit offensive.
Lauren S 2 years ago
Tipping applies in many settings too. We think of restaurants but also if you get room service or get your bags brought up in a hotel you tip. You also tip housekeeping, either daily or when you leave, usually the latter. Haircuts, hairstylists, nails, etc. all require tipping. I’m surprised I can’t think of another example so I’m sure I’ll be back to this post later. ☺️
Lauren S 2 years ago
Didn’t take me long, lol. You tip people who drive you (ride share or taxi). You tip people who deliver your food like pizza delivered or door dash. You tip valets. You tip bartenders, per a drink if you’re paying when you order or when you pay at the end if you open a tab. Oh, that’s the other thing! Waiters, waitresses, bartenders will all take your credit card and walk away. No idea why it’s done this way as I can see the security risk but it’s incredibly standard.
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ADJ 2 years ago
I always tip when service is good. But I will never tip if tip is kinda forced upon me, like we often see on the checks from american restaurants.
Samantha Mannion 2 years ago
Thank you this needs to be said anywhere that tipping culture and not tipping is brought up. I no longer work in food service but I did for many many mmmaaany years and I always took pride in my customer service and deserved every tip I made. The worst was the one that would stiff u just because they think they shouldn't have to tip....or they already paid why should my pleasant service be worth more than that... tipping shouldn't be a thing but truth be told it is and it is not the workers fault. Tip according to service not politics.
Niall Mac Iomera 2 years ago
A tip should be for exceptional service. Someone who went out of their way to make your experience better. Not just for doing the job.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
Remember that if tipping was abolished and the owner raised the servers' wages appropriately, he would increase prices to cover that cost. So tipping is not about how much you pay, just who.
Tristan J 2 years ago
Note that your restaurant prices pre-tip are no cheaper than in Europe, where staff are paid fairly and do not expect tips. Furthermore, having the prices reflect the true cost is hardly a bad thing, compared to having a misleading figure then having to add 20% on top. It also makes a mockery of things like all inclusive dining - if you get a free meal in one of the posh restaurants in Disney, a burger could cost $60, so you end up paying for a dining plan and an extra $12 for a burger that had its headline price inflated 5x over what it should be. Also, it means the staff there are raking it in, for the same work required as the relatively cheaper restaurant next door.
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Michael D Bresnahan 2 years ago
Lots of people say you have to tip even if you get bad service, I can't agree, if I get bad service I don't tip.
Chez2202 2 years ago
I live in the UK and if we eat out we always tip. We live in a place where you get to know the colleagues working in your favourite restaurants. We have one particular place where we have been regulars for over 20 years, since before my daughter was born and all of the staff have watched her grow up. They met her at a few months old and she’s now an adult who is 7 inches taller than me but she can’t go in there without being reminded that she used to do cartwheels in the restaurant when she was 4. I told her she wasn’t allowed to do it. The owner said she could do whatever she wanted!
Verena 2 years ago
So basically nobody knows the price of anything. If it's not the vague taxes, it's the vague tip. Yes?
John Leavitt 2 years ago
No, tax is based in the state you're shopping in. N.H. no tax. Mass. 6.25% tax excluding food and clothing. Tip 20% on good service less with poor service. It's pretty simple.
Load More Replies... #10
finalmantisy83 said:
Don't touch any kids that aren't yours.
Im_Not_Nick_Fisher replied:
Crazy to think that this needs to be said, but I’ve seen it happen. Well, I’m not sure where anyone was from. But I was at a theme park and all I heard was “I told you not to touch my kids” and this woman swung and hit another person not in her party. The lady who did the punching was easily 6 feet tall and had a pretty good reach, and a really nailed the other lady. I’m pretty sure the cops were called.
self_of_steam replied:
My old roommate was from a tiny tiny town in northern WI and needed to be reminded of this frequently. She tried to take a child out of a stroller at Walmart while in line. The mom almost killed her and I almost let her. I don't think she ever really understood and I don't understand why.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
It's only ok to grab a kid to save it from immediate danger, like when it's trying to run on a busy street or putting something poisonous in its mouth
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Or running away from a genuinely dangerous person. Other than that, ask the parents if we’re talking babies, and ask both the parent and child if they’re older. Leave everyone concerned the opportunity to choose yes or no. Never ever assume it’s OK everywhere and with everyone, just because it’s OK where you grew up or in your family.
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Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
I would assume so. Same goes for petting other people's dogs. Ask first. That said, I high five or hug other people's kids all the time, but I teach elementary schoolers, and let the children initiate the interactions.
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AnnaRachelle 2 years ago
Taking a random child out of a buggy is just wrong,unless in am emergency. If someone tried that with my daughter I would definitely be arrest with intent
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
Yeah. That's weird. Who does that? Smiling and waving at a baby is normal, but anything more than that requires asking the parents, especially with infants and their undeveloped immune systems.
Load More Replies... Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 2 years ago
I also live in WI. Two different times in public I had women I didn’t know come up wanting to hold my baby to the point of reaching on to transfer them. These seemed like regular ladies, not wackados. It also happened in an antique store when my mom had the baby. I cld hear the lady ask my mom to hold her. My demure mother was shocked and didn’t exactly know what to do or say. I called over the baby is like an antique. You can look, but don’t touch!
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Goes the other way too. Just because I brought my kid, that doesn't mean I want to watch yours. This is regardless of whether I know you or not. Unless we've worked it out before hand, I'm not your babysitter. Period.
RajunCajun 2 years ago
Living in Japan we were told in the incoming briefing that it was normal for old Japanize people to take your kids for ice-cream with out asking, or if you have a blond child they will come and pat the head for luck.
Lauren S 2 years ago (edited)
But what if the kid comes up to you and the kids family is ignoring it. When I play with my son at the park sometimes other kids want to play too. I remember one time when my son was young, maybe 3? He was jumping off a bench into my arms and I’d go “Weeee” and swing him a tiny bit and put him on the ground. He’d climb back up and repeat like 1000 times because, toddler. So a little girl, couldn’t have been older than 2, maybe 18 months, came over to us and wanted to join. Family oblivious (large group, lots of adults, seemed like a party but not a kids party). I eventually helped her up on the bench a tiny bit because she couldn’t quite do it on her own. She then hesitated but kept moving forward to jump to me, I eventually picked her up, swung her a bit, and put her down. Seemed safer than left her actually jump. She had to have her with us for at least 10 minutes before I touched her. And we repeated this at least half a dozen times, taking turns with my kid. Then all the (1/3)
Lauren S 2 years ago
sudden, after the kid had been with me for at least 20+ min, a young mom comes over and glares at me and picks her kid up and walks away. The family said something in a language I don’t speak but my husband understands, he told me when we left the park they were appalled that I touched the kid. But that didn’t stop the little girl coming back to me multiple times because no one was really watching her. I didn’t know what they said but I understood the look the mom gave me so I tried to not have her totally play with us but also tried not to completely ignore her. She just wanted to play and wanted some attention. I felt bad for her. I didn’t think I’d really done anything wrong but my husband said I should never have touched the girl. I still don’t fully understand. It seems different to me because I was playing with my son and the girl wanted to join. I wasn’t playing with a strangers kid by myself. But I think the biggest piece for me was they weren’t watching her. Made me (2/3)
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Meredith E. 2 years ago
I think that if you are saving a child from immediate danger it should be acceptable to touch a child in ways appropriate to saving them from harm. When I was young and working at a bookstore, we were stocking the shelves during business hours (company policy). A young, unsupervised child jumped on a stack of half full boxes and proceeded to treat them like a trampoline. After multiple verbal attempts to get the child to come down, and no mother in sight, my coworker gently took the child down. Just then the mother appeared from another department and berated my coworker. It was a kind of "damned if you do, damned if you don't moment." The child could have fallen and seriously hurt themselves on the concrete floors, yet the mother treated my coworker as if they were attempting to molest their child. A manager had to be involved. Sometime you just have to act. And parents, watch your kids!!!
Monster 2 years ago
This happened to me and my child recently at a park. My child wanted to use one particular swing and reached it slowly where a father of two girls were near and apparently he wanted his girls to use the swing first and picked my son off of the swing and put his girls. I run to them and screamed on top of my lungs, everyone's looking but I didn't give tiny rat's sheet.
Mathieu Brouwers 2 years ago
I traveled the world; never been officially in the US (sent back on the same plane at JFK airport, my ticket was paid in cash). In all countries you can touch, smell and feel people, especially children. There is an exception, those neighborhoods and districts where you are not safe anywhere. (Tell me it's not safe where you live without telling me ...)
Bored Panda reached out to Todd Schoepflin, author, sociologist and the face behind the Everyday Sociology and Creative Sociology blogs.
“The American public is on edge, but underneath the angst a friendliness remains. On the one hand, people are stressed out, on the other hand they are friendly and willing to help,” commented Schoepflin.
And based on the submissions in this list, you can see a glimpse of this with Redditor u/marenamoo, who pointed out that visitors should assume most Americans are nice, but they wouldn’t really want anything more than just a “perfunctory greeting.”
On the other hand, Americans are masters at small talk, and one small conversation can lead to a friendship like that. “My wife talks about ‘Minnesota goodbyes’. Everyone says bye and then an hour and a half later you’re pulling food out of the fridge because people are still talking and got hungry,” noted another commenter, u/sutt0nius.
#11
05110909 said:
This applies to any business, but most especially restaurants:
Do not snap your fingers or whistle to get the attention of an employee. That is considered to be extremely rude here.
jebuswashere replied:
A lot of Americans need to learn this, to be honest.
Da1UHideFrom replied:
True, a lot of Americans need to learn that workers are not servants and being a customer does not give you power over someone.
soap---poisoning replied:
The odd thing is that the people who are desperate to appear important are usually worse about this than the people who actually are important. Some people think talking down to servers is a way to emphasize their own superiority, but it just makes them seem trashy.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
Snapping your fingers or whistling to get attention of an employee should be considered rude anywhere!
Kim Steffen 2 years ago
As a bartender, rapping the edge of a quarter on the bar will make you get thirsty for a while.
Chez2202 2 years ago
Good for you. I’d probably take the quarter out of their hand and throw it at them. If we had quarters in England.
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Philly Bobcat 2 years ago
Snap your fingers at any of my bartenders and you'll get a glass of water on the rocks... poured over your head! And a quick walk to the door.
Chez2202 2 years ago
I have so much respect for any business owner who doesn’t stand for their staff being disrespected. Good for you x
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Christmas love 2 years ago
My parents owned a bar and when I turned 21 I was excited to be hired until the dbags started thinking I was young and dumb and would whistle or constantly bang their empty glass or bottle on the counter to get my attention. I purposely ignored them and help other guests until they finally would knock it off.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Oh, holy hell. Yes, snap your fingers or whistle at me and if you're in arm's reach, you will be slapped or punched. I am not your dog, and you WILL learn that.
Ozymandias73 2 years ago
I remember when I was about 19, my first waiting tables job was at a Ponderosa Steakhouse. Lots of fun, good money for a college student. Anyway, had some kid (who obviously didn't know any better) do that to me trying to be funny. Irked me so much. I simply went over to the table and said "don't do that. that's not how you get our attention." The parents were smiling as they thought it was amusing, then realized the situation and the mother apologized. No harm no foul. But, just a no no.
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
Had a rude guest at the bar in our hotel, it was a busy but not rammed wedding day, he insisted on whistling at the barman, who served him in reasonable time. Our Food & Beverage Manager heard the whistle and told the barman she would deal with it next time. Eventually he came back to the bar and whistled again, Bec (the manager) spoke to him and asked him to wait a moment, she walked to the DJ who was playing some quiet pre dance tunes, next thing she’s on the microphone and making an announcement, ‘if anyone sees a dog loose around the wedding or in the hotel grounds please let us know, there’s a guest at the bar who has lost his dog and we’d like to reunite them, thank you’. The whistling never happened again. Top marks Bec 😀
#12
NomiTheNomad said:
Never, ever cut in line.
Appropriate-Dig771 replied:
I’m an otherwise non confrontational person but cutters have made me nuts since childhood. I will always say something to stop them because I will be too mad at myself if I don’t.
droidsentbycyberlife replied:
No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.
Matt Du 2 years ago
In the uk, you can be standing in a que for 10 minutes before the people in front ask you if they are in the right queue. And if someone stops to look at something in the general area of the front, people will orderly queue up behind them and then ask "are you in the queue love". But although we tend to be reserved and quiet, things can get quite nasty if you cut.
OnlyMe 2 years ago
The ones that wind me up are the ones that leave a basket on the floor as a place holder - nope queue when you're finished shopping not halfway through
Auntriarch 2 years ago
If we're in the queue and my mother remembers something and I dash off to get it, leaving her in the queue, is that permissible?
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The Other Guest 2 years ago
There was a day in high school where I had a pretty good place in line for the cafeteria - maybe 10 people in front of me? Then came the cutters and people whose friends saved them a place in line. By the time I got to the counter, the lunch period was almost over, I was too hungry to eat anything, & feeling like I was going to pass out. Ended up just getting some milk. That was a fun day :-/
WonderWoman 2 years ago
I am not a fan of people holding spots for others who are not present. IF you are going to do that, announce to all those around you that you are holding the spot for X# of people.
Jackie Calisto 2 years ago
In SA its a free for all, you sometimes have to stand your ground for your place in the queue.
KittyGaming 2 years ago
Omg yes i hate it when people cute in line like chill bro we are all going to the same place no need to cut
#13
marenamoo said:
Assume most people are nice but don’t really want anything more than a perfunctory greeting.
Edit. Also most people are willing to help you if you are lost or just confused. Despite what people might say on the internet - we do want you to like our country on your visit.
Vonbagh replied:
While this might be somewhat true, I was truly astonished how willing Americans were to smalltalk/chat/discuss with me. Where I come from people are waaaaay more withdrawn with strangers.
SaffyPants replied:
In the Midwest we make an art out of small talk.
sutt0nius replied:
Sooo true. My wife talks about "Minnesota goodbyes". Everyone says bye and then an hour and a half later you're pulling food out of the fridge because people are still talking and got hungry.
A girl 2 years ago
Lol. I'm minnesotan. I'd warn my husband that we were "fixin to get ready". So, we're leaving in an hour or so but we're going to stand near the door during that time.
Aria Whitaker 2 years ago
Same here in the South lol. Once we say "Welp, I am going to get out of your hair"...that means the convo is winding down and plans to talk/visit/touch base next time are made. You usually dont actually leave for another 15-20 mins lol.
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SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
LOL that's true. We talk a lot of s**t online about visiting California, especially LA/Orange Counties, but we do want you to have a great time. Because then you leave more money here.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
Exactly! XD I was stunned when my boyfriend pointed out that on the subreddit for my city, tourists call our city (in SoCal) "boring" and "horrible" and "racist". I've lived here all 41 years of my life and I've never experienced or heard of any of the horrible things said about my city XD
Load More Replies... Sue Mullen Andersen 2 years ago
Whelp...about time we head out...(in my most Midwest voice as I slap my hands on my thighs). It will be a while before we actually leave though.
madbakes 2 years ago
I've started just saying goodbye as I walk out the door because it can take so long to do otherwise.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 2 years ago (edited)
Here in Texas (might just be my family), at family get togethers, before leaving you must say goodbye to EVERY SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER. All the dang times when I was little and my sister and I couldn't find so and so. My mother would tell us to keep trying because we aren't leaving until we do. It may take an hour and by that time the parents have already sat down talking to someone else ugh...Rinse and repeat once it's time to go for the second time...
Ugh_What_Now 2 years ago
Ugh, the Midwest goodbye... starts in one room... grocery bags of food... goodbyes punctuated with "did you use the restroom?", then goodbyes at the door to people you already said goodbye to, then the exchange of stuff from the trunks of cars/trucks that people "brought up/down for, thought you could use" then the 3rd good bye at the car, then 30 mins to an hour after you had first started you're pulling away giving the 'ole BEEP BEEP of the car horn to "say goodbye" officially. 😂
kay s. 2 years ago
american here. once, while visiting NYC, a foreign visitor asked me where a restaurant was bc she was late meeting someone there but couldn't find it. i told her i didn't know but would be happy to look it up on my phone. while i was typing in the name of the restaurant, i asked her where she was visiting from. she looked at me, rolled her eyes, and walked away before i could tell her the restaurant was the 2nd floor of the building we were standing in front of. oh well. still had a great trip! :-D
#14
ALoungerAtTheClubs said:
Prices on store shelves and restaurant menus almost never include the tax surcharge, which will be probably 6-10% depending on where you are. (States and local cities/counties have different rates. Some places like Delaware don't have sales tax.)
JKmusclebunny replied:
The dollar store is never really the dollar store.
dillpickle03 replied:
It's the 1.25 now. :/
TheonuclearPyrophyte replied:
I correct people who say Dollar Tree lmao it's Dollar Twenty-Five Tree now.
Ace 2 years ago
Well maybe the prices went up, but it's not because of tax being added on top of the quoted prices like in the US
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The Other Guest 2 years ago
They're talking about "prices on store shelves and restaurant menus" and the photo is a restaurant menu. A fast food restaurant, but a restaurant nonetheless.
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TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
The only place I've been to here in Texas that the price IS the price is good ol' Whataburger. Mmmm Whataburger 🤤
Verena 2 years ago
We have electronic displays at the shelves with the prices, cooling section included, which include the prices per gram/litre to make price comparison easy. They can switch the color, so reduced prices (red) or eco (green) are easy to identify. Maybe this is an idea for the US too. On the other hand, tax is different in all of our tiny countries, and the stores with paper tags still manage to disply the total price to pay.
#15
Depending on where you're from, some or all of the following might not be obvious:
* Don't interrupt people.
* Be on time.
* Tipping in restaurants is in no way optional.
* If you want to buy something and the price tag says $5, expect to pay about $5.25 to $5.75 at the register. This is sales tax and it's never listed on the price tag. The amount of tax is different in every state or even city/county within a state, and sometimes different per product category. You will never figure out how much it's going to be, and Americans don't even try.
* But don't take this to mean the prices are negotiable. The only things you can haggle on are cars and houses.
* Don't talk with your mouth full.
* Don't double-dip in the condiments.
* Have no smell, or at most very subtle / almost undetectable.
* Don't stand right next to people unless it's so crowded you have no other choice. Give them two or three feet of personal space.
* Outside of NYC and Boston, don't expect to be able to get anywhere without a car.
* Yes, we actually want that much ice in our drinks. You're not being shorted on the amount of drink. But you can order with no ice and that's fine.
* Nobody actually wants to know how you are. It just means hello. The correct answer is "fine, you?" which despite seeming like a question, does not require a response.
* In the South you need to say thank you two different ways. "Here's your food! / Thanks! / You take care now! / 'Preciate it!"
* Anyone can talk to anyone at any time. People just start talking to you. It doesn't mean you're being mugged.
* Except in the men's bathroom. Do not start a conversation there.
* Despite the ease of starting them, conversations with strangers are expected to be kept superficial. Many topics are off limits, particularly any form of criticism.
* One thing that's _not_ off limits is your job. People will ask you "what do you do?" (meaning "what's your job"), and this will define you for them.
* A lot of Americans are fat. If you're not family, you're not expected to comment on it. Also, you'll be fat pretty soon too, if you eat all the food on your plate at restaurants. Learn about doggy bags.
* You get free refills of non-alcoholic drinks, often without asking, so if you don't pay attention you might guzzle down a thousand calories of Coke without even realizing it.
* Some Americans are strongly religious. Don't assume they share your secular beliefs. It's best not to talk about religion at all unless it's someone you know well.
* Some parts of America are _really_ uptight about nudity. Like, they will arrest you. This is 10X stronger if there are children nearby.
* Even in these very same places, public bathroom stalls will have huge gaps and won't be very private. The door might not even reliably stay closed.
* Don't cut in front of people in line, or even when there isn't a line. If someone was waiting for service when you showed up, you must make a note of it, and if you get called on next, ask them if they were waiting and let them go ahead of you.
* Americans know much better than you do how screwed up some aspects of the country are (though they may disagree on _which_ aspects). They do not particularly want to hear how much better your country is.
* Americans are pretty straightforward and direct, but they don't like to give or receive a straight "no." If anyone asks "are you sure you want to do this?" it means "this is a terrible idea and you'll probably die."
Ace 2 years ago (edited)
Not really. Too many things in this list but quite a lot of them are US-specific or at least things that are not universal.
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Robin DJW 2 years ago
I went from waitress work to working as a ward clerk in a hospital. It took not a little effort to stop saying "Y'all come back, now"
Randy Klefbeck 2 years ago
You can get by without a car in San Francisco CA also. Incredible public and cab transpo there.
HistoryLover(she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
I just always have an extra dollar pulled out when I’m going to pay for something to cover the tax. Also, that line rule does not apply in American high schools during the lunch hour. Teenagers will cut without remorse. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can expect it, and the sooner you can join in and get your food in a timely manner.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
The correct response to "fine, you?" Is "good, thanks," which they will reply something along the lines of good also. Then you aren't expected to respond. If you just stop talking after they ask how you are back, then it's just awkward.
Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
So only NYC and Boston? Ever hear of Chicago? Among sooooo many other places.
Schoepflin also notes some of the most predominant social norms in the US that thematically deal with privacy and respect:
“I would say it’s key to respect people’s personal space. An important norm is to not cut people in line. People can be nasty if you jump ahead of them in line. So be mindful of others, and do your best to read the mood of the people around you.”
“Another norm is to tip your servers and other workers in service jobs. To not tip is a norm violation and may be met with a mildly negative reaction.”
“When traveling, you are likely to encounter a mix of impatience, indifference, niceness and kindness. Sometimes people are chilled out, sometimes they are not!”
#16
eruciform said:
Smiling at strangers if you meet eyes is normal.
brucebananaray replied:
Sometimes we nod to each other if we cross by.
Wittyname0 replied:
Nod down if you dont know the person, nod up if you do.
SnooFlake replied:
Holy [cow] I never realized that I did this! Lol
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Nodding your head is a lower key variation of tipping your hat, which itself was a low key variation of bowing or curtsying. All of which are forms of polite and respectful greeting. Not a bad thing to practice, btw.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I wish random guys would understand this. I grew up being told that not making eye contact is rude, and I have a habit of smiling. These days I almost avoid looking towards guys because I've had them mistake the polite smile and eye contact for interest and start suddenly "happening" to be where I am in the store, trying to make small talk when I just wanted toilet paper dang it!
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago (edited)
And if you reallyyyy know them it's a full bend back with arms out and a "wassuuuuup?? 😝*
#17
Aceofkings9 said:
I went to a high school that was probably about 35 to 40 percent Chinese nationals and the culture behind cheating and plagiarism is just totally different. I was a member of the student panel in charge of investigating allegations of honor code violations and every single one came from a first-year student who just assumed that you could Google translate a French essay or rip something off SparkNotes. According to friends from China, it's pretty much anything goes over there and it's not punished severely, or even at all very often.
ninjette847 replied:
At the school my mom teaches at and I went to they actually have a class on this for international students as part of the welcome weekend. Also, students from bargaining cultures seem to think your final grade is like an opening offer.
HistoryLover(she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
Google Translate doesn’t work on my German teacher. He actually learned German from living in Germany for nine years and catches people on Google generated mistakes. However, I know many students who brag about not reading any of the books in their English classes. They used SparkNotes on homework and didn’t speak up in class. They got lower scores on the tests, but they passed without getting caught so they didn’t care.
Aria Whitaker 2 years ago
No I dont think that is what they are doing. It IS a thing. It is cultural, but exists. This is an excellent write up about it....https://www.theatlantic.com/china/archive/2013/06/heres-the-quote-that-sums-up-chinas-huge-problem-of-cheating-in-schools/277108/
Load More Replies... #18
[deleted] said:
You can haggle at a garage sale or a flea market but otherwise the price is the price. We don’t haggle.
InterBeard replied:
You can haggle over the price of a home or a car.
Rudirs replied:
Even those are less true than they once were. When I got my last car and I tried haggling the guy laughed and said those days are over. Although I was buying a new car, I know getting a used car is pretty different.
And most houses are going for asking or above, but hopefully that'll change soon.
de-milo replied:
when a car salesman laughs at you for trying to haggle a used car price, that’s when you walk away!
zak 2 years ago
New or used, you can still negotiate on any car purchase. There are relatively few exceptions for cars on which dealers won't really negotiate (if demand greatly exceeds supply, like on a "special edition" or an extremely popular new release). Even if you're trying to buy one of those cars that they won't discount (or worse, one that they are marking up *above* the MSRP due to very high demand and very limited supply), you can still negotiate on related things (financing, any add-on like window tint and accessories/etc, gap insurance, etc). Also, *after* you come to an agreement on price, try to get them to throw in free maintenance/oil changes for 3 years (if it's already included in the factory warranty, like with bmw, then ask them to cover oil changes for 2 years after the factory covered maintenance expires).
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Right now, new car demand is exceeding supply.
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axle f 2 years ago
you can legitimately haggle over anything. brand new furniture in a furniture store. any damn thing you see at kmart or walmart....hell, that was part of incoming training at kmart, you want the sale. people who say otherwise are truly uninformed..
jdtimid123 2 years ago
Upvoting because this isn't inaccurate technically, and doesn't deserve downvotes. Legally you can haggle anywhere because the sale is essentially a contract, which requires both parties to be able to "negotiate" before signing. However, you probably won't get very far at places like Walmart, especially because the people running the register aren't in charge of the prices and don't have authority to change the price. They may call a supervisor if there's a problem, but they aren't likely to actually haggle with you, they are more likely to say they won't/can't change the prices unless it was an error like something being mis-labeled. That's what coupons are for. Furniture stores and places with official salespeople are usually willing to haggle, especially because they are selling high ticket items and often earn a percentage. I can't speak for Kmart, or if it was your particular store/position, but I've worked a few retail jobs and never had them say I could negotiate prices.
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#19
livinginyourwallss said:
Walk on the right-hand side always. Stairs, sidewalks, tunnels, trails.
KaramelKatze replied:
Ill add an asterisk to this.
*If its an escalator or moving walkway.... Stand Right, Walk Left.
AtheneSchmidt replied:
Slowest in the right hand lane, fastest to the left. This is true on escalators, bike trails, and highways in the US.
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
The left lane is for actively passing only. If you are not passing someone, regardless of how fast you are going, get over. The right lane is for travel, the left lane is for passing. In most states, this is the law not just a suggestion.
RabidChild 2 years ago
I wish more people understood this. You may be going the speed limit or more on the interstate and passing other cars travelling in the middle or right lane. That does not mean you own the left lane. There are always other travellers going faster and want to get around you. It's none of your business whether or not they're speeding. Just get the heck over.
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Peter 2 years ago
The rule is correct for tube escalators in London -- stand on right, walk on left.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 2 years ago
It's so annoying when people can clearly see people queued up to one side but then get on the escalator on the other and just stand there. You'd don't think there's a reason everyone is off to one side, FFS?!!?!?
HistoryLover(she/her) 2 years ago
But always walk on the left side of the road so you can see cars coming.
Vedette Aecus 2 years ago
Should also apply in store aisles (looking at you, Costco.). Can't believe the number of oblivious people wandering store aisles with no awareness of how they are obstructing traffic.
Pigeonvonbirb 2 years ago
For the last one, isn't this something everyone does? I mean except in my country, stand on the left, walk right. And walk quickly! If you know you're going to walk slowly keep to the left or take the stairs! Always assume people walking down/up are in a hurry.
Richienotsorich 2 years ago
I'm calling BS on that last one. American highways are chaos. LGVs in any lane, people weaving from one lane to another to pass. No lane discipline whatsoever.
Tumbah Chamberlain 2 years ago
Never seen this adhered to in the US. Would be nice, but doesn't even happen on the roads where it's the law to stay right (with some exceptions). So do not agree on this. Have lived in many countries and spent time in most US states. Have found adherence to this is much higher outside of the US.
#20
Thank you. Friends from Italy flew in, and I'm not complaining, but each time I held a door open, or picked up the bill, or took them shopping, not a single than you was uttered. Now I know they were thankful, they are friends, but I think people overlook, or at least to those of us over 50, how we were raised to thank someone for an effort.
Ugh, another was belching with mouth wide open, and no "excuse me". That one did ride me a bit:) Just a look and a nod, crazy.
LilliVB 2 years ago (edited)
Your friends are just rude. I'm Italian and I would have thanked you for all those things. I wouldn't ever dream of burping in a social environment, unless for whatever reason I can't help it (maybe at home with my family I have less restrictions but it's not an habit at home either), even less with my mouth wide open. And if I can't help it, the second I did it I'm going to excuse myself for my poor manners (EDIT: spelling)
A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago
I won't hold in a burp in public as I have medical issues, but certainly, I am going excuse myself
Load More Replies... Jill Bussey 2 years ago
I would love to know how many times I say thank you in the course of a day. It's a lot.
Now, it’s interesting to think that, with the rise of artificial intelligence (AI), especially chatbots that are designed to be social beings, some say they don’t really care about social norms at all.
At least with ChatGPT (GPT-3), it is reported that the way it works, it’s incapable of recognizing that there are things that it shouldn’t say. At least for now. This is a combination of the algorithm making statistical guesses as to what it ought to say mixed with feedback provided by the conversation partner.
In the same way, statistically speaking, and given human nature, there are more ways to say the wrong thing than there are to say the right thing. Which is fine, we all make mistakes. But for chatbots, given the stats-based approach, it’s anything but ideal.
This is also besides the fact that humans have things like intuition, broad contextual awareness, and even the same social rules that they abide by at their disposal to avoid conversational hiccups. Hiccups that bots would give zero guffs about because that’s just not how they work.
So, food for thought. Actually, food and thought that you can share in the comment section below!
#21
TCFNationalBank said:
Caste-based discrimination is a no-no when working with American clients.
[deleted] replied:
Absolutely, this is especially true in retail. Clients from other countries cannot discriminate on any employee because of their race or ethnicity. I used to work at a very large retail store where the employees were VERY diverse and the amount of discrimination was appalling.
Tumbah Chamberlain 2 years ago
Are you kidding me? We are a super racist country and discrimination happens all the time.
becck 2 years ago
Yeah, of course it does. Doesn’t make it okay or tolerated by every American.
Load More Replies... #22
New_Stats said:
Don't smell bad. It's only acceptable for people to smell bad if they work outside and get sweaty, and then it's only acceptable for them to go into certain places, such as a convenience store, grocery store or fast food joint to get lunch.
Other than that you better be clean and not smell like BO
hope_world94 replied:
I'll also overlook the stench if it's somewhere like a Lowe's or Home Depot. I just assume you had to stop mid project and get something to continue.
Positive-Source8205 replied:
I judge a project by how many emergency runs I had to make to Home Depot.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
This one is understandable. Straight up haven't-showered-for-days BO is gross and avoidable. But almost everyone has a natural slight smell, even with deodorants, and this can't be helped. Please also bear in mind that some people genuinely can't help sweating/smelling a little sometimes, no matter how hard they try, and don't make them feel bad about it.
Hungry Purple Beagle 2 years ago
No, but smell is taken very seriously in the US. Certain countries might not put as much of an emphasis on it.
Load More Replies... HistoryLover(she/her) 2 years ago
Just shower regularly. The only other exception is if you just finished a workout and haven’t hit the shower yet.
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
This should not ever be a problem. Clean sweat doesn't smell. So if you have had a shower that morning, then surely your deodorant should last the day?
The Other Guest 2 years ago
Not necessarily. Everyone's body chemistry is a little different, and for some people they need to apply it more than once a day. Additionally, there is no single deodorant that works on every person, plus it can take time for a body to adjust to a deodorant, so if someone has recently switched they may be a bit "whiffier" than normal. There are also medical conditions that can cause excessive BO, and eating certain foods such as onions or garlic can make it worse, too. Puberty can kick up one's body odor a notch as well, as pretty much any parent of a teenager can tell you.
Load More Replies...
#23
Southern_Blue said:
Don't stare into the 'gap' in the bathroom stalls. You can give a brief glance of about a second to check if someone is in there, but then look away quickly and go about your own business.
I don't care for the gaps either, but we've instinctively learned to live with them.
Crunchy__Frog replied:
Nope. Even a one second glance is a second too long. Check underneath for feet.
Seguefare replied:
Just quickly slide your eyes over the gap to check for a vaguely human shape indicating the stall is occupied. There's no reason to ever look directly through the gap.
Nicechick321 replied:
Why in the hell that gap exists??
Hello_Hangnail replied:
Americans don't even know this one.
Michael Largey 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, I'm not wild about their clothes either, but someone must buy them.
Load More Replies... Sue Mullen Andersen 2 years ago
First Responder here...I was taught that we have the gaps because of potential emergency. Easier to see if someone is need of help in the stall.
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
The famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright designed an office building that had bathroom partitions with doors that didn't go all the way to the floor for ease of cleaning and that became standard in business architecture afterward. The gaps in the side are because Americans are prude and gaps (theoretically) discouraged sex or nudity in stalls as well as drug use. And now it's just what we're all used to.
Pigeonvonbirb 2 years ago
Don't yall have a small red or green sign on your locks? Red=locked, green=unlocked?
YetAnotherSarah 2 years ago
It's because everything we have is prefabricated, so this door/panel is for a 40-44" space, this door/panel is for 44-48" space, etc.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Don't you guys have the little "engaged/vacant" sign on toilet door locks?
René Sauer 2 years ago
check the gap to see if it´s occupied? Every public restroom I ever visited had an indicator on the lock to show the outside which ones free and which ones are not.
Heather Talma 2 years ago
Uh, if the stall is occupied the door will be closed. If not it will be open. You don't need to look anywhere.
#24
voleclock said:
Our personal space bubbles are pretty big and we like them that way.
Also probably having a sense of when the small talk is meant as a polite and succinct formality vs when the small talk indicates the person is willing to talk more with you.
JKmusclebunny replied:
“Hi, how are you?
“Good! And you?
“Good!”
A full conversation
BellumFrancorum replied:
Five star Uber ride.
Nichole Harris 2 years ago
I'm American born and bred and I'm still learning this 😂 but then again I'm weird and socially awkward
John Dilligaf 2 years ago
someone in another post said it best: Only lovers and mortal enemies should be within swords length of you.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Depends on what mood I'm in.. Maybe I'd like a conversation with the uber driver. Not that I'll ever get into a stranger's vehicle but yeah...
#25
La_croix_addict said:
“See you later” does not mean that you will see them later.
Positive-Source8205 replied:
Me: See you later.
Narrator: But he did not see them later.
pizza_for_nunchucks replied:
You have to say "See you later alligator" to make it official that you will in fact see them again later
catawampus_doohickey replied:
But only if they reply, "after a while crocodile"
marypants1977 replied:
Not too soon baboon.
deruch replied:
Lol. That made me laugh, giraffe.
Cherryboy52 replied:
Know why? Cow pie!
HistoryLover(she/her) 2 years ago
If they don’t text you within a couple of days to make plans and you aren’t already meeting up, you won’t see them again.
Richienotsorich 2 years ago
I moved to my partner's area of UK. They say "see you later" here too. The first time I said to my partner "do you know that young lady, she said she'll see us later"!
#26
BooksAndStarsLover said:
Don't touch us if you dont know us.
Handshakes are allowed if the situation calls for it but you'll freak out people if you just go up and touch them.
Lucia37 replied:
And for the love of God, don't hug anyone unless you are 150% sure they are ok with it.
Thadlust replied:
Does not apply in the south.
Noname 2 years ago
Little anecdote here-- the French don't hug, they do the bises (kisses), which I hate. My mother in law was never very affectionate with her son or our kids (her grandkids) so it was always the kisses. But I always hugged her and would tell her "merci pour tous" (thanks for everything). She never hugged me back UNTIL the day I was visiting her alone and she told me her cat had died. I hugged her and she hugged me back and started to cry.
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
Hugs are more intimate than the cheek kiss for most Southern Europe.
Load More Replies... TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Ehhhhhhh southerner here, no we do not go hug random people. We do if we 150% know they're ok with it. If we do hug a non-family member, non-bestfriend, it's more often a "side hug" like a one arm hug. Not like a full on "I love you bro" hug
HistoryLover(she/her) 2 years ago
Handshakes aren’t even common anymore after Covid. Older populations still use them occasionally, but I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve shaken hands since Covid.
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
so whats up with all the people hugging me without asking? thats how i got the impression that 100% of the Americans think its normal to grab someone and hug them. aparently its not. I now always ask "can i give you a hug?" first.
Boredest Disabled Panda 2 years ago
No, most Americans don't think that is okay, but your experience might vary depending on what part of the country you are in. Some people are just huggers, and they don't realize that they are making others uncomfortable. I always try to keep in mind that aside from those who don't like hugs, there are also a certain number of people walking among us who have had the unfortunate experience of being physically abused, so unexpected and unwelcome touch is traumatic for them. It's always best to ask, like you do.
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#27
A common small talk practice is to mention something, like a movie, book, place, and give an opinion on it and then people state their preference (what they like). You do not have to agree with that preference, but can put forth something else you like.
This drove a Finnish work exchange students nuts when I was working with him. He characterized our "get along in work " talk as randomly stating our preferences to the group (it was a job where we could talk to each other) and gave an example of a conversation similar to below -
Person A - I like "a movie"
Person B - I thought it was okay
Person C - I like "different movie"
Person A - that was good too, I liked X about it
Person B - I like "new thing"
Person D - "New thing" is ok, but I like "something" so I use "other random thing"
He said this repeated so he had to listen to coworkers state what they "like" or "don't like" or "like better" for the rest of the day, and then we bothered him during the conversation to ask him if he liked whatever random thing someone brought up.
He thought that all we did to talk at work was state our opinions until he realized it was a socializing mechanism where people were trying to get to know other people through this "small talk."
cartoon ghosts 2 years ago
I suck at small talk I usually only start conversations when something interesting happens and I want to talk to a friend about it
Cathy Roberts 2 years ago
Small talk is the worst and I try to avoid it all costs. But, I'm from the north east where we're a bit colder so maybe that's how I get away with it. Or people just think I'm rude. I'm ok with that.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
You might, for instance, get into a genuine critique of a film and discuss its pros and cons, rather than state a bland preference and move on.
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#28
BellumFrancorum said:
We measure distance in time. You should fully expect to be told how long it will take you to get someplace instead of how far away it is.
roadgeek999 replied:
It’s generally assumed that the time given is the amount of time it would take to get there in a car, unless the person specifies otherwise.
420BongHitsForJesus replied:
Horse drawn carriage is the preferred method of transportation actually.
PineappleSlices replied:
Also worth noting that this isn't true if you're in a city with a robust public transit system.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
Depends. In LA, it's time. This is because it varies -- ten blocks is a couple minutes at night, ten minutes in the middle of the day, and possibly 20 or 30 minutes at 5 pm.
Load More Replies...
Jennifer Clark 2 years ago (edited)
It takes different times to drive the same distance depending on where you are. Driving 5 miles in my small town takes 10 minutes, but to my friend who lives in a big city it sometimes takes 40 minutes.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
I love the people that are terrible at judging time, "it's about 15 minutes up the road I drive it all the time!" *12 hours later* That was not 15 minutes
Historyharlot93 2 years ago
It blows the minds of my British friends when I tell them my in-laws live not too far from us, which is 8 hours. That’s less than a days drive, even with stops for food and bathroom breaks.
Libstak 2 years ago
Yes it's common in Australia to say "about 10 minutes up the road..."
Load More Replies... #29
jollyjam1 said:
Depending on where you visit, please don't walk slow or stand in the middle of the sidewalk.
HereComesTheVroom replied:
@ the Brazilians on vacation in Orlando
I know they aren’t the only ones, but I always saw them the most growing up and it is so goddamn annoying for a group of a dozen people to just stop in the middle of a walkway.
Luxowell replied:
Used to have a friend who worked for Disney who said the groups of Brazilian tourists were always the worst behaved groups. At first she was like "I can't believe you're saying that! It's wrong to judge groups of people!" A week later, she was like "OK! You're right!"
PleasantCrocodile 2 years ago
Edit: *entitled upper class Brazilians. Going to Disney costs a fortune and a half in our currency, so the BR citizens you see there are NOT the norm.
Andrewsarchus42 2 years ago
It’s exactly the same with Americans in other countries! Especially in countries across an ocean. The main reason why there are so many rude American tourists is because the only people who can afford to travel that far are people who are wealthy, and thus have a higher likelihood of being self entitled spoiled brats. It’s why if you (general you) go to America yourself, you’ll meet a lot more polite and reasonable Americans than you would back home.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 2 years ago
THIS. My city is a tourist city and most understand this. But of course there are the groups of people walking slowly while taking up the entire sidewalk when I'm trying to get to and from work. If you pull out a paper map, step to the side so people can pass. Someone will probably even ask if you need directions or help getting somewhere.
Linda R 2 years ago
I see the same thing at Walmart, and they aren't foreigners! Like, please move over so other people can get down the ever-shrinking aisles!
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
lol it's so annoying, they just stop abruptly and then turn their whole body around to look. How about you turn your head and then U-turn when it's safe to, all while still walking, do not stop...
Load More Replies... Hiram's Friend 2 years ago
Window shopping does not mean five abreast. One person looking in a window can be easily avoided.
Load More Replies...
#30
LuvliLeah13 said:
Staring. My husband is from a culture where they stare at people, even after you look at them. He still does it occasionally and I have to remind him that it makes Americans terribly uncomfortable. It’s incredibly creepy and rude.
trynot2screwitup replied:
I’ve never experienced this. What’s prompting the staring? Curiosity? Are they silently connecting when they stare or just not paying attention to where their eyes are?
LuvliLeah13 replied:
If you look at them you will make direct eye contact. It’s not a glance. It feels like being watched. It’s just cultural. Everyone stares and they grow up that way so it’s completely normal in that culture. Very jarring here.
FiveDaysLate replied:
It was like this in Madrid when I lived there. On the metro people just stare at you very uncomfortably.
baalroo replied:
What happens when you stare directly back at someone staring at you there? Do they just not react at all, like the concept of "staring" is just completely meaningless and lost on them?
FiveDaysLate replied:
Yeah they just keep looking at you full eye contact and all.
SaintJuneau replied:
From my experience in the Madrid metro, I'd say 75% keep staring and the other 25% might initially break the stare but then go right back to ogling.
Jackie Calisto 2 years ago
Oh no never stare... what if that person meets your eye and think you actually want to converse :-)
Hiram's Friend 2 years ago
My wife's hair turned white when she was forty. We went to China and people would stare then turn around and stare after we passed.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Never understood this, like what is going through your mind? I'm not that interesting for you to stare at me for 15 mins straight.
Ozymandias73 2 years ago
I've experienced this a few times. Like if I'm at a restaurant or in line somewhere. I'll be minding my business and look up and see some creepy person just staring thru my soul. I look away for a few minutes and look back b/c of that "I'm being watched feeling" and there they are, trying to see what's behind me by looking THROUGH me! STOP IT!
#31
Suppafly said:
We generally don't give discounts for paying in cash vs cards at retail stores, and won't even understand what you're asking for. The price is what it is, just pay it and move on.
EVASIVEroot replied:
Unless your dealing construction contractors/ small business owners.
Had a business and people would ask and I’d definitely lower the price at least to the amount that I’d be charged for running credit through a third party.
I’d obviously still report it on taxes though……
#32
[deleted] said:
most Americans know this but the left lane is for crime. GTFO of the way!!!
JKmusclebunny replied:
I saw a tiktok that said “The left lane is for people who have speeding ticket money”
myredditacc3 replied:
Just use the court option, everytime my ticket has been thrown out because the cops didn't show
madbakes 2 years ago
I do not recommend the court option. I got a ticket and called the court because the officer recorded a couple things wrong. Because of this I couldn't pay it online, and I was nervous about paying it at all with the mismatched information. I wanted to ensure it would go through and I wouldn't have an unpaid ticket I did actually pay. I called three times, and all three times I was told I should show it to a judge. I go to court, the judge doesn't care at all, and I'm then stuck with the ticket and court fees. And I did see the cop in the courtroom.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
The one time I went to court to try and get my ticket thrown out, the damn cop showed up! I should have just paid it and saved the time. :)
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
Yes please don't hangout in the left lane of highways if you're going under the speed limit or just at. But unsurprisingly some people think this applies to two lanes inside a city or that nobody should pass in the left lane going the speed limit. The law is actually to pass within the speed limit and then move back over. Nobody has the RIGHT pass in the left lane on city streets or to pass in the left lane going 30 mph over the speed limit on the highway. Also as Peter said the rule is somewhat moot if you're actually driving through a town where people are exiting or entering. Regardless, if you're tailgating because you think you're entitled to speed, you're an AH. It's not surprising that US drivers have higher rates of reckless driving than a lot of other peer nations because this attitude above is very common.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
No, you’re allowed to speed a little to pass someone, otherwise traffic would come to a standstill (it does anyway in some places, during rush hour, so not being able to speed a little to pass someone would only exacerbate the problem). Cops will know you’re passing someone if you have your turn signal on. Just don’t keep speeding afterward. And yes, go ahead and travel in the left lane, unless it’s a restricted lane for carpooling (for example). Restricted use lanes aside, the left lane is for faster through traffic, while the right is for slower traffic and traffic exiting or entering the freeway. If the left lane were actually only for passing, there would be a traffic jam in the right lane while the left lane was empty, which makes no sense.
Load More Replies... #33
Significant_Sun_1258 said:
You are not entitled to popularity or friendship, if you do not have adequate social skills or are boring that is your fault
unimatrix43 replied:
We have a reputation for being super friendly and nice...until you start knocking on our friend zone and then you'll run into our ruthless side.
You better have something interesting to offer other than that awesomely cold and reserved European nature because here, that exactly equals to a completely boring dud...and then you'll find out how nice we really are. Many move here or do a student exchange and expect to be entertained and catered to by the nice Americans only to find themselves completely isolated. Don't let this happen to you.
You have to fight for your right to party.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
A better way to put it is to not either misinterpret our niceness, or expect us to entertain you. The first requires an apology for misunderstanding, as we have no problem being nice but do have a problem with someone trying to take advantage of, or liberties with, us for it. The second is just someone who thinks everyone else is there to be their court jester. They can go f**k themselves. Making acquaintances and friends requires effort and understanding on both sides. We’re nice, but we’re not required to stay nice if you act like an a*****e.
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
A MUCH better way to put it. Whoever wrote the original post immediately discouraged me from even trying. Jeez
Load More Replies... 
JB 2 years ago
Struggling to see where Significant_Sun_1258 acquired a reputation for being “super friendly and nice”. Someone needs to brush up on their social skills.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 2 years ago
bawahaha. "this is Petra, she's from Europe!" has made me the star of many parties :-D Also... bit silly to think all Europeans are "cold and reserved". Please show me the first reserved Dutchman :-D
Auntriarch 2 years ago
Hehehe oh yes, my friend's sister in law seemed to think I was a character from Jane Austen and was on her best behaviour. Things loosened up when I asked for a typical Kentucky breakfast, and asked her where the whiskey was
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zovjraar me 2 years ago
we're only being nice because to us, it's polite and respectful. we don't actually care or want to be your friend.
What do you think ?
Alecto76 2 years ago
If you feel like you've offended anyone in a social setting in the US, just apologize and explain why - that you are not familiar with the custom or that in your country you do something different and say that you didn't mean any offense. I would forgive most things in this context. In my experience, most of us will understand and not be offended. We love to meet new people and usually give them the benefit of the doubt.
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
This isn't a social rule but I see way too many tourists who make themselves targets for a mugging by walking around with their expensive camera hanging around your neck. Or even walking around looking at their phones. The chances or being robbed may be low but why risk it. At the bare minimum you should pay attention to and aware of your surroundings. And NEVER leave anything out in the open of your car. If you can help it, leave all that at your hotel. If you have to bring it along, put it all in the trunk and make sure the opening mechanism is locked, if possible. Too many people are careless and oblivious to making themselves targets.
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Cultural norms vary. Subcultures vary. If someone looks offended, say "sorry" and don't do it again while there. Problem solved. Also, get over the US obsession. Canada, maybe? Just once?
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
slighly snobbish and also a bit weird. At least have of this is common sence. they act like its an uncivilised wilderness outside the USA 😂😂😂
Alecto76 2 years ago
If you feel like you've offended anyone in a social setting in the US, just apologize and explain why - that you are not familiar with the custom or that in your country you do something different and say that you didn't mean any offense. I would forgive most things in this context. In my experience, most of us will understand and not be offended. We love to meet new people and usually give them the benefit of the doubt.
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
This isn't a social rule but I see way too many tourists who make themselves targets for a mugging by walking around with their expensive camera hanging around your neck. Or even walking around looking at their phones. The chances or being robbed may be low but why risk it. At the bare minimum you should pay attention to and aware of your surroundings. And NEVER leave anything out in the open of your car. If you can help it, leave all that at your hotel. If you have to bring it along, put it all in the trunk and make sure the opening mechanism is locked, if possible. Too many people are careless and oblivious to making themselves targets.
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Cultural norms vary. Subcultures vary. If someone looks offended, say "sorry" and don't do it again while there. Problem solved. Also, get over the US obsession. Canada, maybe? Just once?
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
slighly snobbish and also a bit weird. At least have of this is common sence. they act like its an uncivilised wilderness outside the USA 😂😂😂
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