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40 Hilarious Restaurant Reviews And Replies, As Shared On ‘Takeaway Trauma’ (New Pics)
Many of us enjoy getting a cheeky takeaway after a hard day at work or school. Not only is it a way to reward ourselves for our efforts but we also end up supporting the local businesses and forming a bond with the shop owners. However, you can’t expect every single meal to be as stellar as what you’d get at a five-star restaurant. Some folks take it very personally if they have a sub-par experience and then vent their rage in the form of bad reviews.
That’s where the witty ‘Takeaway Trauma’ Instagram account comes in. The social media project collects the funniest and most unhinged customer reviews, and shares the savage comments that the restaurant owners came back with. Check out the freshest posts below and upvote your faves. Are we the only ones getting hungry right now? We hope not!
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Seek Help With Anger Management
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Intoxicated
Takeaways are huge in the United Kingdom. Statista notes that the fast food and takeaway market in the UK amounted to 21.37 billion pounds (27.46 billion dollars) in 2022, with a forecast of 22.04 billion pounds (28.32 billion dollars) in 2023.
The fun ‘Takeaway Trauma’ project has grown immensely since it was founded back in late 2020. At the time of writing, the Instagram page has grown to house 184k takeaway and sassy comeback-loving fans. It’s a favorite of many internet users and has become a popular niche for anyone craving a big dose of negativity with a bunch of comedy poured all over it. All you need is an internet connection, as well as a big bag of popcorn or a large portion of curry fries and you’ve got an enjoyable evening ahead of you, really.
Sorry To Hear About Your Nan
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
It’s easy to see why the page is such a huge hit. The posts are incredibly relatable on so many levels. First of all, you’re dealing with the topic of food. That’s something that absolutely everyone can relate to because everyone needs to eat in order to survive. So the quality of the food and service is a touchy subject for many folks. Many of us have also eaten out at least once in our lives, so there’s another layer of relatability for you there.
Secondly, people tend to be drawn to negative news more than positive topics. Though we all enjoy wholesome content from time to time, it’s spicy takes, criticism, and drama that dominate our attention. That’s why reading negative reviews is its own form of entertainment. As is watching how business owners put overly-critical wannabe food critics in their place with their rapier-like wit.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Put Food In Living Room
Hehe
I feel like 80% of online reviews of anything could be answered with, "You gotta chill."
In slovak language “lettuce” means “šalát” which is literaly “salad”, so maybe he was Slovak 😂
It literally says it was translated from French.
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This might be a language barrier. I'm Swedish and our words for salad and lettuce are the same
"Salad" in this context means the vegetable toppings on a burger ie, lettuce and tomato. I wouldn't necessarily EXPECT it to include onions, but I would certainly confirm if I were on either end of this interaction.
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Isn't tomato supposed to be a fruit? So really tomato could have been included but not onion. Being pedantic annoys annoying customers
Yeah but he didn't say no veggies he said no salad. Tomatoes comes in most salads.
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Back in ancient times I briefly played manager trainee at a McDonald's and once took a call from a customer who complained about getting home and finding that her quarter pounder didn't have anything on it. Checked with the front counter staff and the person who took the order remembered it very clearly. The woman ordered a quarter pounder with cheese and "a plain quarter pounder". If you work at McDonald's and somebody wants a "plain" hamburger it means it doesn't have the usual pickles, onions and ketchup/mustard. The quarter pounder that doesn't have cheese is called a "quarter pounder". Of course in addition to telling her how she ended up with what she got I told her that the next time she came by we'd have some coupons for a couple of free quarter pounders (with cheese ifs he wanted).
No salad means salad. Onions means onions. He wanted no salad and no tomatoes. He clearly did want onions!
"No salad" means no salad at all. If it's a standalone side salad that comes with the menu item it means you don't want it. If they're doing a bad job of saying they don't want some of the stuff that comes as garnish or toppings then "no salad" means none of the garnish or toppings that are typical salad items to any reasonable person.
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I hate when businesses have horrible customer service! This response would make it where I would never eat in that restaurant.
Right? I haven't ordered from Jimmy John's since 2018 because of bad customer service. They delivered the wrong sandwich. When I called them to inform of this they sounded disinterested and put me on hold twice. No apology or anything, but they called back to make sure I knew to return the first sandwich I received. And I had to wait over an hour for them to deliver the right sandwich... Yet, if Wayfair delivered the wrong thing or something is damaged I end up with a new nightstand.
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So.. They only wanted....onions.....THEN GO TO A STORE ITS A WHOE LOT CHEAPER
And thirdly, there is a ton of comedy to enjoy on ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ Laughter helps us forget about our worries, improves our immune system, gives our internal organs a decent workout, and makes us feel good. So it’s no wonder that this cocktail of food, negativity, and humor has been so popular with the Instagram crowd!
Meow
Catstomer service, how meowt I ignore you today?
Says A Lot About You
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Sarel down there is partially right. It is the big businesses and companies that are responsible for making so much plastic waste. Then they pin it on us to dispose of it properly. Recycling was made in the first place partly because of an ad I think IKEA sent out after introducing cheap light furniture made with plastic. Some of you might remember it; it was that one with someone driving a car and littering and a Native American picking up the litter and crying a single tear or smthn idk THE POINT IS that big companies and businesses will try to subtly pin the blame on us and make us do something about it while they do nothing >:/ Edit: some people have pointed out to me that the ad was not made by IKEA, that’s my bad. HOWEVER it was funded by big plastic-producing companies like Coca Cola. Also, I’m also not saying that we don’t have to do anything, and that we aren’t partially to blame for this, I’m just saying we ALL have to do our part and these companies are slacking off and pushing the blame all onto us.
During a previous interview with the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ Bored Panda learned that the account even got featured on The Jonathan Ross Show, on the BBC. “I didn’t even realize they were airing it, they just did, and then someone just messaged the account telling me they saw it!” the founder told us earlier.
“I’ve definitely seen a big increase in audience, especially since the TV show. People seem to be more and more involved in the humor, it’s almost like we have our own little community, which is exciting,” they said.
Relatable Tbh
Bye Bye
I'm not a fan of complaining about the price, unless it's relevant to the problem. If you're willing to pay 6 pound (or 7) for a waffle with ice cream that's on you. You know what you're getting. If however you pay 7 pounds for a waffle with ice cream and the waffle is the size of a cracker then fair enough.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
“I do see some really savage replies by business owners, some are so rude that I can’t actually post them as it’s pretty offensive—that’s how bad it's got!”
Back in late 2021, the founder of the project told us that they’d seen a surge in negative reviews about pizza deliveries. “It seems that the Neapolitan-style pizzas with the thin base seem to always fold over, or toppings fall off. It’s quite funny but at the same quite frustrating for the customer!” they said.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Mark The Rat
Never Been
I have never rated a restaurant I haven't been to.
“Funnily enough, one thing I have learned is that most people only really write reviews if it’s really bad or really good—rarely in between. I think sometimes people are so annoyed and angry that in the heat of the moment after just receiving their ‘bad food,’ they go on to the internet and type everything they are thinking about right there and then,” they shared.
So Much Greece
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Not One But 2 Contact Lenses
Meanwhile, during another interview, the page founder opened up to Bored Panda about the inspiration behind ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ "I'm a big takeaway fan and found myself going to order a delivery and thought I’d check the reviews of a particular establishment. After checking the good reviews, I thought I better check the bad ones also," they said.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Get Stuffed
Plaster (From A Finger) In The Butter Chicken!!!!
"I came across the most hilarious reviews and was genuinely crying with laughter. Without really thinking about it, I screenshotted the reviews just for my own personal use to send to friends, etc. People seemed to find them funny so I thought, let's try and curate these and create a page out of it!" they told Bored Panda.
According to the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ folks ought to have more empathy and be more forgiving with restaurant staff. “People in general are so impatient and want things instantly. As soon as these high standards aren't met, the natural human reaction is to complain,” they said.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Oh Rita, We Always Knew You Loved A Guy In Uniform
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
It doesn't actually say she didn't like the food, just the location.
"I think a lot of the time, people give too much stick to takeaways, however, with that being said, some of the images of takeaway food I’ve seen really do look awful, so I think you can only really determine it on a case by case basis,” they pointed out that there are two sides to this particular delicious and metaphorical food industry coin.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
When you order a beef dish, (especially one that the beef is capable of falling out) you tend to expect to be able see or at least taste the beef. A typical sandwich usually contains between 3 & 5 oz of meat, so this one seems a lot more legit than some.
Dryer Than Me Nana
Rude And Pushy
We’d love to hear about the very worst (and best!) takeaways that you’ve ever had, Pandas, so swing by the comment section to share your experiences with all the other readers. Have any of you ever worked at a takeaway or fast food place? If so, we’re keen to hear about things from the other side of the counter.
Meanwhile, here at Bored Panda, we’re pretty big fans of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ and you can check out our previous features about the project here and here when you’re done enjoying this list.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Black Bird Feather
4 And A Half Teethed Monster
Don’t Think It’s The Same As Racism Barry
I looked at the date. Wasn't there some kind of bug going around? You know, the one that made cash transactions a bit frowned upon and everyone went contactless?
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Pizza Was Lifting
Better owner resonse: "We are so glad to hear you found our pizza lifting. Whether it was soul lifting, heart lifting, or taste bud lifting, it's our pleasure to provide our customers that experience!"
Uber Court
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
No Vaccine For Stupidity
If he's been eating the "dead skin off the bottom of his great grandad' feet", he is in no position to criticise other's food.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Checked Staffs Teeth
Maybe it was a small chip off a chicken bone ? Still not good, but better than tooth.
Ask Chefs To Watch Youtube
Dirty Fingernail
Wakes up sweating in the night with flashing images of fingernails.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Pubes Left In Both Sauces
Chicken Feathers
If the feathers were coated in batter, you wouldn't see them till you felt them in your mouth.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
"Ohmugod, the rice and the dumplings and the sauce are all DISGUSTING! I wonder what the spring rolls taste like."
Cockroach Pasta
You saw bugs on the floor, and still ate there? One time, just after ordering at a restaurant, I saw a roach crawl across the wall by my booth. I left immediately and called the health inspector. I was hoping it was a fluke; during the rainy season pest control can be a problem. They found roaches all over the kitchen and storage rooms too. They failed the inspection, and got shut down. They reopened several weeks later, stayed open for a few months, and got shut down again. They did not reopen again.
Awful Sweaty
Ok, there are at least four Forno Marmary stories on here. I'm starting to think maybe it's the shop not the customers.
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Quote from my first grade teacher “God gave you hands before he gave you spoons”
Drugged With Laxatives
This Is The Truth
If the food is as tempting as the owner's pick up line, I'm making a reservation.
Selfish Exaggerating Git
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
As reporters said during the Watergate scandal "That's a non-denial denial!"
Traumatic Takeaway Stories
Wearing A Hat
man, fast food shop owners are total jerks when they get given a bad review.
I realize some of these reviews are translated from other languages but, dang, the grammar, spelling and situations are appalling.
It's so bad that a friend of mine told me that there was "no need to be polite" when I was using proper grammar and punctuation. I had to explain to her that no, I was not being stiff and formal, this is just how I usually type.
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I don't see why the title says "silly and hilarious."
I don't see why so many of the responses and even the reviews have so many spelling mistakes.
Because working in the restaurant business is so hard and pays so little that only immigrants will accept to do it nowadays.
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To the folks that think the owners are out of line: In the restaurant industry, false bad reviews are a plague. It's often very obvious that it's just a disgruntled customer using devious means to get "revenge" on the restaurant for something that may or may not have been the restaurant's fault. I, for one, and happy to see some of these owners sticking it right back to these rude, selfish, problem customers.
I read the food reviews for entertainment purposes only. People only write reviews if they had a terrible experience or an amazing experience, never in-between. You wanna know if you like a place walk in look around smell the air and take a chance. One person's worst tasting food could be another's favorite place.
man, fast food shop owners are total jerks when they get given a bad review.
I realize some of these reviews are translated from other languages but, dang, the grammar, spelling and situations are appalling.
It's so bad that a friend of mine told me that there was "no need to be polite" when I was using proper grammar and punctuation. I had to explain to her that no, I was not being stiff and formal, this is just how I usually type.
Load More Replies... I don't see why the title says "silly and hilarious."
I don't see why so many of the responses and even the reviews have so many spelling mistakes.
Because working in the restaurant business is so hard and pays so little that only immigrants will accept to do it nowadays.
Load More Replies... To the folks that think the owners are out of line: In the restaurant industry, false bad reviews are a plague. It's often very obvious that it's just a disgruntled customer using devious means to get "revenge" on the restaurant for something that may or may not have been the restaurant's fault. I, for one, and happy to see some of these owners sticking it right back to these rude, selfish, problem customers.
I read the food reviews for entertainment purposes only. People only write reviews if they had a terrible experience or an amazing experience, never in-between. You wanna know if you like a place walk in look around smell the air and take a chance. One person's worst tasting food could be another's favorite place.
