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45 Common Things Society Labels As Bad That Are Actually Fine, As Shared By People Online
Say please and thank you. Make eye contact when having a conversation. Respect other people’s personal space. And please, never ever speak loudly on your phone when in a small, shared space.
Social norms are incredibly powerful. They let us know that we might not want to speak and behave the same way around our bosses that we do around our best friends, and they help us travel via public transit without infuriating all of our fellow passengers. There are plenty of unspoken rules that make our lives simpler, but there might be some that you disagree with as well. Just because society tells you something is right or wrong doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to question it.
Reddit users have recently been sharing examples of things society considers to be bad that are actually perfectly normal, so we’ve gathered a list of their most spot-on responses below. From circumstances we all experience to harmless behaviors that shouldn't carry any moral weight, this list is full of reminders that sometimes society’s rules are just arbitrary. Enjoy devouring this food for thought, and don't forget to upvote the replies featuring things you’d like to normalize as well!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Assisted suicide. If your pet does not have a good prognosis your vet will recommend putting them to sleep. Why do we make humans suffer to the bitter end? Sure, we give them medicine to make them comfortable, but why extend that timeframe if they nothing left to do? They made their will, they said goodbye, now they wait and run up a bill for their family to pay?? If you have terminal illness, you should be able to die with dignity.
DuchessDegu 2 years ago
That's NOT the point of the post. Even with free healthcare people should be able to decide if they've had enough
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Bla Blubb 2 years ago
My gramps had severe cancer in the stomach (i don't know the details, i was 10 at that time). He only told us when he collapsed. After that, he had two weeks left to life. He couldn't even lift a finger and was in such excrutiating pain that even the morphium did not really help. He begged to die, and we couldn't help him. No one could. It was really awful. He was not the greatest person, not at all. But this kind of suffer i wouldn't even wish for my biggest enemy. Every dog would have been put to sleep in an instant. He had to suffer two weeks! That's why i support assisted suicide completely. He could have gone far sooner without so much pain. I think going by will is far more humane than letting someone suffer just because.
Karin Jansen 2 years ago
That's so awful... Why not help the poor man? This form of euthanasia (when a person is suffering without hopes for healing) is totally normal in my country. I honestly don't understand why you wouldn't help 'speed up' the process a little and avoid someone going through all the pain you just described.
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Snorky The Pig 2 years ago
Because the modern medical industry loves it! They suck out all the gold they can and don't care about our pain. American medicine is not a hospital with doctors trying to help people anymore (don't know if it ever was.) It is a business, a corrupt corporation, with the exception of a select few good hearts.
Anne Reid 2 years ago
And even if the wishes are made clear, they still ignore them! My husband & I (he was a cop, I’m an EMT, so we’ve seen terrible things) both made out our end of life orders. He got terribly sick suddenly. I signed NEW orders not to resuscitate at the hospital, as he went into organ failure. Went home to take care of our pets & get a bit of sleep. Woke up to a phone call…they’d been doing CPR for an hour! I had to drive there and sign MORE papers to get them to stop. It was a Christian hospital, they shrugged.
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Aldhissla VargTimmen 2 years ago
Yep, I often say we are more human to animals when it comes to this.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
Or they withhold sufficient medication because... reasons. That's what the doctors did to my mom, and none of them could give us an explanation. She was begging my father to smother her.
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Mickysixxx 2 years ago
With the right stops in place I 100% agree. Just gotta make sure it can't be taken advantage of by people with nefarious motives
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
There should be no stops. We should just be able to say I'm done. I own my body and can make decisions for it. Depressed, mentally ill, even then. You want a permanent solution, here you go. Why should anyone else's opinion matter?
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The Darkest Timeline 2 years ago
It has to do with bad-faith slippery-slope arguments along the lines of, “If we allow assisted suicide as an option, we’ll start telling grandma to off herself just to save money on care.” I guess if your thought process is that juvenile you might reach that conclusion but it’s a lot more nuanced than given credit for. One thing is for sure: if profit weren’t a part of the healthcare industry, that argument would lose any value it does have.
Ovata Acronicta 2 years ago
I need your post to be higher. It's all about people getting up in their feelings and creating these bad-faith arguments. It can sometimes be pure selfishness: I don't want my grandma deciding to end her life although very little of it is now worth living, because *I* will miss her. But a selfless act is to give up that decision and feeling, understand, and support the person who desires MAID - with that decision made, the quality of life can be enjoyed until the decided end, a nicer end than what terminal cancer will bring upon her.
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2 years ago
My Mom died of pancreatic cancer in 2011. I took care of her at the end on home hospice. She was too good a person to suffer like that at the end. I planned to give her all the morphine that was left at her 7am med time. Just to end her and the families suffering. She died at 6:30am
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
And, if we didn't have a bunch of yellow-bellied legislators kowtowing to the fanatical religious mobs, we would have our dignity. This won't happen until the US government follows the Constitution and kicks religion out of politics.
Robert I 2 years ago
You are correct, SEPARATE RELIGION AND POLITICS! and tax churches!!!
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#2
Doing nothing with my free time.
I work and have chores. When I don't have those things, I don't feel like hiking or scuba diving or anything.
I want to do nothing. Leave me alone.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
Absolutely! People are saying I need to get a hobby, but I really need to do nothing sometimes. My free time is just a few ours monthly, so no hobbies are worth it 😃
Suzy Creamcheese 2 years ago
I've never understood why some people need to always be doing something.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
I don't know about others, but I need to "always do something" because doing nothing is too boring for me. Don't get me wrong, "doing something" isn't always going somewhere/ hiking/ running/ drinking etc., it can as well be reading, watching movies or TV shows, reading BP if nothing else 😁 but just doing nothing at all is the most severe punishment for me.
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SuperChicken 2 years ago
Sometimes, we need to just completely unwind to regenerate by not thinking or doing anything, especially, after a long day or week.
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
I don't see the correlation. I know several people who'd call themselves introverts who keep ridiculously busy all the time. Whether it's crafting, gardening, making art, working on their car, hiking or kayaking or whatever.
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Francis 2 years ago
my best friend's mother is like "it is sunny and you don't have anything to do? go outside hiking!!" b*tch please! we are relaxing and just enjoying each others company. we don't need anything else and the sun will shine some other time again!
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
For me it was gaming. What was the difference between me playing Mass Effect a couple of hours a night and you marathoning whatever British crime drama of the day?
Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago
I'm a single introverted night shift insomniac with no kids. I have a new car and a mortgage, you don't need to concern yourself with my idea of fun and how I spend my money.
Jennifer Sheppard 2 years ago
It's called self care. If you want to do nothing that IS doing something. People need to learn to respect that.
JaimeeJames WD 2 years ago
Yes! I have disabilities and serious mental health issues. I work full time, study at uni and am the sole carer to two young adults with disabilities. My doing nothing time is vital for my survival, even if the dishes aren’t done or the laundry isn’t washed.
JoJo is 50 2 years ago
Take your time, you will get through this! You are doing amazing things& it will all be worth it!!!
Load More Replies... #3
A lot of people are quick to call you "fake" if you're polite to those you dislike.
It's not being fake, it's being civil.
troufaki13 2 years ago
YES! Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean I will be rude to them!
Elizabeth Tayler 2 years ago
The added bonus is, if they're being rude or abusive, remaining polite ticks them off even more (& you did nothing you could be called out for).
Monday 2 years ago
It is so satisfying to watch someone explode while you're just being perfectly polite.
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Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
Common courtesy goes a long way. I teach my students they don't have to get along with everybody but there is such a thing as a professional relationship were you all have a common goal so it's best you get along in the interim
Illustrious G 2 years ago
Yes! I am a teacher too and I don’t care if anyone is friends but they are expected to be kind and respectful to all.
Load More Replies... SuperChicken 2 years ago
Exactly. Sad part is, those same people who calls you "fake" will talk about you behind your back.
KM 2 years ago
It depends on how the fake is done. Is it passive aggressive behavior? That's not okay anywhere. Talking poorly behind another person's back that my trust you because your nice to them is poor behavior. Just work together on the goals set by your employer and move forward. Some people will not be my cup of tea, I may even dislike them a bit, but we will get the job done.
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Mistiekim 2 years ago
How else should you act? I mean I hate Trump, but if I had to meet him I wouldn’t punch him in the face. I would smile, say hi, and be on my way. There’s no point in being hostile because it’s not like that would effect him enough to want to change his behavior.
Just me, myself, and I 2 years ago
I would scowl and walk past without saying a word. Won't change him but it would make me happy inside.
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rs_adahl1971 2 years ago
My momma always said kill em with kindness. I'm polite either way. Way I was brought up
Sarah SH 2 years ago
And if you’re killing them with kindness, you’re still killing them, so all good.
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ravina nimje 2 years ago
Agree, just because I dont like someone doesn't mean im gonna through them under the bus.
Iliana Hiruluk 2 years ago
Being civil, and being friendly are very different. I really think it's a red flag when I see a friend being all buddy buddy with someone they supposedly can't stand. Because then how would I know if they're treating us the same, what they've been saying behind my back?
#4
Not having kids if you don't want them.
Having kids you don't want is bad.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Completely agree. Yet, people think that we, who don't have children, are considered selfish. Having children is not for everybody.
Monday 2 years ago
That reasoning has never made sense to me. Isn't it more selfish to bring a life into this world just because you want to? Having a kid is one of the most selfish things you can do, you bring a whole person into existence and society and nobody but you and your partner asked for that to happen. And that's okay. We're allowed to do selfish things. I just don't see how not adding more lives into the mix is supposedly the selfish thing.
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Sarah SH 2 years ago (edited)
For me it’s as simple as: Have kids if you want them, don’t have kids if you don’t want them. What I don’t like is when people from either viewpoint criticize the other. As a parent, if I express slight jealousy at someone’s new car in relation to my minivan I shouldn’t get a “Well then you shouldn’t have had kids,” as though I regret my children or would trade them for a car. Just the same, parents shouldn’t tell child-free people that their lives don’t have meaning without kids.
Debbie 2 years ago
Wished I could upvote you more. Nowadays it seems not possible to be on side A without bashing side B. Both sides have their positives and negatives.
Load More Replies... Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
Yes. The question shouldn't be "why don't you want kids?" It should be "why DO you?" If you can't think of a good reason besides everyone says you should, don't have them.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
I like this. Procreation is an irreversible life change, better make damn sure you know what you're signing up for, and are prepared to handle it
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Duane Martin 2 years ago
Totally agree. I'll be 43 this year.. and I've never wanted kids.. and I think that's ok.
Tree P 2 years ago
It is okay. Your life is YOUR life. Live it as you want!
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KM 2 years ago
I'm not a breeder. The world is going well n the toilet, no need in creating more wasteful beings to pollute and destroy. Adoption is a better option to help a soul through this crazy world for of mystery, love, and dreams. There is always two ways or more to solve a need or desire.
XenoMurph 2 years ago
THIS is the problem. The hatred you show for other people is just terrible.
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Katiekat 2 years ago
Older woman here, and there is such a thing as positive selfishness. This is an example. Know what you do and don't want, and I'll go even further: knowing what you do not want is just that bit more valuable than knowing what you do want. Soon to be 55, was twice married for 25 years, no kids, no regrets. Knew from single digits I very much wanted to be married and happy, knew from single digits I never wanted kids. And I was a teacher for 25 years. About 20-25% of all teachers don't have kids. You can work well with kids and not want to be pregnant, give birth, raise them, just help the ones already here do well.
Karri Berkowitz 2 years ago
I hate that ppl don't understand that some ppl cannot have kids. I'm not explaining to someone the agony I've gone through for their curiosity. They can think whatever they want.
Richard Windor 2 years ago
Exactly, For example i dont want kids but have stage 4 endo so it would be impossible anyway.
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 2 years ago
We are already well on our way to overpopulating this planet, so why not just leave that to those who actually enjoy it and not force everbody to take part of the madness. You don't have any right to demand grandchildren, and as those will be a bigger part of your children's life than yours, it should really be their decition alone. Don't pressure them into it to satisfy your own needs. Not everybody is fit to take care of a child, and some people are smart enough to realise this before propergating and avoid creating a lifetime of missery.
#5
Abortion
Fewer children born into poverty or in situations where they aren’t wanted is a net positive. It’s actually been proven that abortion lowers crime.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago
I can't believe they made it illegal in the States, that's madness! If you make it illegal it will just go underground and women will die. It happened in the past and will happen again. Woman deserve the have the choice about what happens to their bodies
30_Helens_Agree 2 years ago
Save the fetus, murder the child with a gun in their classroom.
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Mitchell 2 years ago
Let’s make it a law that all boys must have vasectomies when they turn 12. When they prove themselves financially and emotionally capable of rearing children, they can apply to have it reversed. Let’s make it a law, with no consultation with men. They don’t get to choose. Don’t like how that sounds? That’s the power that’s been taken from women.
The Scout 2 years ago
There are statistics showing that Wade vs. Roe did more to reduce crime rates than every attempt to go hard on crime - just because many potential future criminals simply were not born into difficult circumstances.
JoJo is 50 2 years ago
Read Malcolm Gladwell- he breaks it down so you can understand. And it's with actual stats, based on the after effects of Roe in the decades after. There is an affect (it's not a bias when it's real) that removing access to abortions creates more people in poverty, which increases crime.
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KM 2 years ago
It's a personal decision. I'm going to keep my opinion out of your vagina. I wasn't there during conception and I don't want to be there now. I just wish we had a system that supposed pregnant mothers more. A system that wasn't going to make a mother choose to get rid of a baby because it's too expensive. Bringing a baby into poverty is truly sad, but made worse because a mother has no other way is terrible. We need better care to pregnant women, and better support during pregnancy in the work world. Our country will see declining births. But, we shouldn't have the authority to tell any person what to do with their sex organs. Nurture and educate.
Aaron Jump 2 years ago
was wandering how I got so many down votes... it was My opposition to baby killing! I SMELL A BIDEN VOTER. 🤣😭🤣 How's there so many if you kill your offspring? Eat them too? What if your mother aborted you? Hows this a debate? If Satan were real I think he'd be killing babies.. Secondly kittens and cute puppies. Gtfo a here. I'm can't do this sad joke anymore. WOW
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Ashley Kelly 2 years ago
As the recipient of an abortion "to save the life of the mother" let me tell you it is nothing like you think. It is so completely terrifying and heart wrenching for everyone involved, including the doctor that I have never seen it accurately depicted or spoken of. Forget financial, religious and moral reasons...Removing the ability to say, "Excuse me, but I can tell that this has gone horribly awry and I'm going to need you to end this pregnancy" is INSANE. No other reason should even matter. We get to have the unfettered ability to say NO because MY BODY CANT TAKE THIS. I mean we should. But we don't. Again....INSANE. Totally nutburgerballs.
Emptycaketin 2 years ago
Anti-abortion only (sort of) works under the assumption that everyone is married and wants kids before they do the conjugal act. As this is not the case, it does not make sense. Anti-abortion is all to do with religious control and nothing to do with societal wellbeing.
#6
a socialist health system. You shouldn't need to pay to stay alive.
Dominik 2 years ago (edited)
I'd rather call it "social health system", as "socialist" refers to so many irrelevant, misleading and charged political topics
Dianellian 2 years ago
It’s such a stupid premise that if your government healthcare is accessible to everyone, it’s socialism or communism. Merican propaganda at its best.
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Henrique Gil 2 years ago
If there is no profit incentive it'll always suck...we have universal health care here in Brazil and it sucks hard, politicians and those who defend it say its because it's underfunded, but it's literally a sink for public spending...looks good on paper til you realize you pay taxes for this s****y service and have to pay a private health plan to have decent health care.
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Id row 2 years ago
Yet people embrace other social services - School, police, fire department, *social services*, *social* security... But omg you mention socialized healthcare and the terminally stupid will call you a communist. Our greedy and self serving politicians don't give af either. They get free healthcare for life with the job, so f*ck everyone else. This stupid country makes me insane.
JoJo is 50 2 years ago
Yes their health concerns are covered and you guys still listen to their opinions about health care!!
Load More Replies... Carlos 2 years ago
The biggest mindfuck of all time is that somehow the American government has been able to convince the people that THEY do not want universal healthcare. Its utterly ridiculous
Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago
It's because they've made us afraid of the word "socialist" like it's synonymous with Communist. Many Dems have campaigned on free healthcare and none of them became president.
Load More Replies... Paul Macdonell 2 years ago
And wasn't Jesus the first great socialist.... How far we have strayed ...
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Studies have been done ad nauseum on this topic. Healthy people keep the economy going. Health care and an efficient health system keeps people healthy and more productive at school and work. It's a fact.
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Society has to pay. We have to accept that taxes are just a huge insurance policy. Vote for honest politicians, and higher taxes.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
But will the politicians make sure that the rich pay higher taxes as well? Will the rich get punished for tax evasion?
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Nameless_User 2 years ago
In reality, everyone pays for healthcare... but in an ideal world, it's not for-profit and everyone "chips in" (tax) relative to their income.
Missy Moo Moo 2 years ago
Yeh but people don't get it... they want free healthcare and to pay less tax. Go figure
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Amy 2 years ago
I love how people who whine about universal healthcare because they "don't want to pay everyone else's bills" clearly don't understand at all how insurance works.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
My hubby was born with hydrocephalus. In 2013 his drain shunt clogged and nearly killed him. He had to be air lifted to a neurological hospital. He lived with a few neuro issues we still deal with. The air lift and hospital stay came out to approx: $263,000 out of pocket. They "forgave" the $63,000 for the air lift though. Yeah, we had to immediately file for bankruptcy after that. "Merica.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
His brother, my BIL, was in a horrible car fire on Memorial Day. They "rescued" him and took him to a fire unit outside LA. He died a week later. We're weekly harassed by the hospital for that 1.2 MILLION DOLLAR bill. We're not even his next of kin, he was 40 and married. They've been chasing after all of us for 6 months now. They have no legal leg yo stand on, but apparently it's still in their best interest to try, I guess. 🇺🇸 😒
Load More Replies... #7
In my experience, some people see not being close with your family as a red flag. Not sure why. Like, sorry? I didn't get to pick my family. Lol.
Jon Steensen 2 years ago
Being able to identify toxic people and cutting them out of your life before their abuse break you down, can be a major green flag, and a true sign of strength as it is not an easy thing to do.
C Lawson 2 years ago
Just adding on to your point, it also shows emotional maturity.
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Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
I'd rather be close to people who choose to love me for who I am, not what (is my relationship) I am. And if I don't like who they are, what they are shouldn't mean a free pass to be a toxic person.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
These are mostly people that have a good relationship with their family. Most folks can't believe what mine say to me or have done to me in my past, as a child. My husband will mention something and people will literally freeze and stare. "WHAT? She said what about her daughter?!" ....yeah.
C Lawson 2 years ago
I totally get that. People would meet my mother for the first time and later say to me, "I can't believe you don't like your mom, she's so nice!" Then months later after they had been witness to her behavior they would completely understand. She put on a show when she met someone but as time went on she would grow tired of the act and let the mask slip off slowly. I cut her out a year before she died, hoping she would see the light. She never did. She never had to face the music. Never had to apologize. Never had to admit the horrible things she allowed to happen to me. For those reasons I grieved when she died. I didn't mourn her absence, but the absence of.any acceptance of responsibility on her part and the fact that I knew it would never happen now.
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Francis 2 years ago (edited)
i call my mom two or three times a month. if she or I had some trouble with something we're talking more. but i don't call her in a normal, odinary work week. i don't have anything to tell then :D i don't have a lot contact to my brother. i don't have contact to my cousins or uncles and aunts. BUT if someone has a problem or is sick or anything like that, we stand together and do whatever we can to help each other! and that is all that is important!
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Some people are brainwashed (yes, brainwashed) into believing that their birth family is the absolute most important thing in the universe and they MUST be "supported" regardless of what any of them do. No, I'm not standing beside paedophilic crack heads, whether I'm genetically related or not. So yes, some people do see it as a red flag that you're not easily controlled. See them for the red flag they actually are and stand strong in your choice to cut off toxic people. No one is entitled to another adult's time, even if they birthed them.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I have cut soo many relatives in the past years because they're just so toxic. Life is better without it.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Ohhh.. the lectures I've heard... even after I've explained WHY I don't speak with them... it's abhorrent.
#8
Waking up late. But getting a few more hours sleep is far more beneficial than some YouTube hustler saying you should wake up at 5 am for no reason.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
I'm on board on sleeping-in. I like my sleep, and if I don't have to be anywhere/somewhere, what's the point of getting-up so early?
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
I also sleep much better if I stay up late and sleep late than if I go to bed and wake up early
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The Short Lady 2 years ago
There often seems to be a moral judgement around sleep. Less sleep is not better. We all need sleep and good sleep is one of life's finest pleasures.
Higgleton 2 years ago
Some of it might be pinned to the concept of the Protestant Work Ethic, which has been linked to the rise of capitalism. The idea that hard work is inherently good and essentially the way to live. Flip side is that not working eg sleeping, is shameful. I think we see this attitude to this day in certain societies.
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Cassie 2 years ago
I'm a night owl. I sleep about the same amount of hours as somebody who goes to bed early, but I get chided as lazy by the early birds. My husband tried to pull this the other day, so I asked him when he went to bed (20:00) and when he woke up (5:00) and pointed out that he had spent more hours in bed than I had (3:00 to 11:00). We both slept a reasonable number of hours and were up and productive for a reasonable number of hours. Just because I got up at 11:00 doesn't mean I'm lazy or sleeping too much.
Tree P 2 years ago
I worked the midnight shift(10pm to 6:30am) for 21 years. I still stay up until 2 am and get up around 11 am. Still made to feel like I "sleep all day"
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Habits are difficult to change, so I still had an alarm clock after I retired. Then, one morning, I took a long look at it, unplugged it, and threw it into the donation box. I sleep as long as I damn please now.
Cuppa tea? 2 years ago
My kód is kinda late hours, so going to bed around 2:00 am. Few weeks ago suddenly I developed insomnia - couldn't fall asleep until 4 am, still waking up around 10-11 am. After a week I was exhausted, drained mentally. Long term short sleep will do great damage to your body and mind.
#9
Admitting you don't know something.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Well google also says I’m a horny old lady with too many cats and chronic foot fungus, based on the ads I get. Also that I have kidney stones/bladder cancer/who tf knows. It was cramps, by the way (sorry didn’t mean for this to turn into a rant lol I’m just salty).
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Klepkip 2 years ago
Can I add something to that? Not having an opinion on something. Nowadays people seem to have a need to shout their opinion everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I think freedom of speech and opinion should be common worldover, but having an opinion is an option, not an obligation! If it's an obligation, it's no longer 'freedom of speech and opinion'
IamMe 2 years ago
It's better to admit you don't know, because it gives you an opportunity to learn. Then, you will know.
Krzysztof Ziętek 2 years ago
Once I realized this it was liberating to me. I mean, no one knows everything. It's common, perfectly normal. It's 100 times better to admit you don't know something than making a fool of yourself and say something stupid.
#10
Being alone
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
So true! And one can also be lonely in the company of other people
Load More Replies... Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I learned to love me by being alone. I wasn’t going to push away marriage and kids if it found me, but I wasn’t going to actively seek it out, either.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Why do people always think that just because you're alone, you're lonely? Being alone helps one rediscover themself, and more enjoyable because you don't have to deal with anybody else.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
I always thought I was a very extroverted person, but now that I'm over 30 I enjoy my alone time so much that I'm beginning to suspect there's a hidden introvert in me :p
Dee 2 years ago
Being extroverted or introverted is more of a spectrum than a binary (as with so many things). Ambiverts are somewhere in between.
Load More Replies... Sparkle 2 years ago
I have a friend who refuses to walk away from an extremely toxic and financially abusive relationship entirely until she has someone else, because she's afraid of how society will view her for being "single and alone." After my first marriage (ended in divorce), I've realized that being alone is actually freeing.
Hendo 2 years ago
When I was younger I was a social butterfly and couldn't stand being alone. Now that I'm practically dead, married and have 2 kids, I have really come to enjoy my alone time. Oh god I really do love it. No husband asking silly questions, no kids pulling me in every direction....just me and my dog and a book in the sun.
#11
Mental health care. People want to pretend if you just ignore mental health problems, they will go away. Does cancer go away if you ignore it?
troufaki13 2 years ago
I will just shove my mental problems under this rug. What I don't see doesn't exist, right?
Deepesh Soni 2 years ago
This should be right at the top. My parents ignored my mental health issues when I was in school, and now I am suffering from severe depression and suicid@l ideation.
Mistiekim 2 years ago
I’m so sorry to hear that. Depression is such a deep hole, but there is a way to get out of it. Or at least get closer to the light. I hope you are getting treatment now.
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
The other frightening response is go to church and pray. Sure, like that ever worked for mental/physical illnesses.
Lorraine R 2 years ago
I have a friend who is deeply, devoutly religious, has been involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric facility three times, and who for 25 years has never failed to take their antipsychotic meds, which they believe are a gift from God.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago
A good friend of mine's father has been going through depression and burn-out for 2 years now and refuses to get help because he doesn't believe in psychiatric healthcare (he worked in healthcare so 'he knows how it works', he says), meanwhile his moods are driving him and his wife apart.
Klepkip 2 years ago
Today in 'did you know that...' mental health problems tend to grow exponentially when you ignore them! Join us next week for another episode!
#12
Cultural appropriation. The spread of a culture to people groups who are outside the originating culture is a good thing.
Mulberry Juice 2 years ago
As long as they aren’t mocking or insulting the people and their culture, there shouldn’t be a problem
Colin 2 years ago
You mean like St. Patrick's day? Dye everything green, walking around trying to use Irish accents, people dressing like the perceived attire of leprechauns and then going out acting like clurichauns?
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Ross Shaw 2 years ago
You're describing cultural appreciation, which is awesome and very important. Appropriation is taking elements of a culture that is not yours, making no attempt to understand it, but making a profit off of it. See: sports teams, models wearing Native American headdresses, etc.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
Well yes, but... For example typical black hairstyles: it's a sad joke that they count as cool and edgy when worn by non-black people, but if black people wear them, it's viewed as unprofessional (or straight hair is viewed as professional, very curly hair as unprofessional, but that's not a case of cultural appropriation). Cultural appropriation wouldn't be a problem , if people had more respect for and knowledge of the original culture.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
But if people had respect for the original culture, it wouldn't be appropriation, it would be celebration. If I say "you HAVE to see Franky Manning dance" that's a celebration of swing culture. If I say "no one could swing like Frank Sinatra" that's appropriating swing from its black roots without recognizing the actual culture, but just a product of that culture. It's not that I am a white person who loves swing, it's that if remove the products of a culture from the culture that produced them, that is often hurtful.
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Mickysixxx 2 years ago
I teach both Aboriginal and Non-Aboriginal student Cultural Education because I believe all kids can benefit from it.
Phyzzi 2 years ago (edited)
But you would probably not be cool if someone took something from what you taught them and sold it as authentically theirs, right? I mean, there are times when cultural appropriation is, if not good, at least not appreciably bad. No one is complaining about gothic architecture in the USA, or blocky glass buildings in China or Japan, but should not be confused with cultural experiences or appreciation.
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AndThenICommented 2 years ago (edited)
Friend of mine is Indian and like an aunt to my daughter (who is mixed, but just looks white). Friend was so excited to bring kiddo a Lehenga Choli. I’m terrified to let her wear it out of the house for fear of some AH having some meltdown about cultural appropriation. It really upset my friend at first but I think she’s come to understand. So we’ve decided kiddo can wear if we’re with her. Still a bummer though
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
Let her wear the lehenga wherever she wants to. The AH’s opinion doesn’t matter at all and they’re most likely not even aware of the culture they think someone is “appropriating”.
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D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Sharing and Learning: Good. Appropriating (aka: "I know MORE about this than YOU who have lived and breathed it all your life, so I will now be condescending and lecturey!!!") = Not Good.
Gabby Ghoul 2 years ago
Learning about and appreciating other cultures is valuable in so many ways!
Megan Humphries 2 years ago
A couple of things come to mind about this. People should definitely be respectful of others and their culture and not pretend that it is theirs, or they started it. However, you can not always tell someone's background just by looking at them. I have seen people go off on others online because they did not think they belonged to a particular group..and they did. Also, there is such a blending and meshing of peoples and their cultures that it can be hard to tell for sure if it "belongs" to a particular group. Some people will try to gatekeep the strangest or most universal things.
#13
Talk about your salary. This literally just exist so that the working class doesn't talk about unbalanced wages and starts to question their bosses
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Pssssstttt Americans: It’s actually illegal for companies to forbid you from talking about your salary. Violates your right to Unionize or something obscure.
333 2 years ago
Funny how the private sector does this, since government salaries are transparent and provided via charts to the public, since the public pays those salaries
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SuperChicken 2 years ago
Personally, I find talking about salary to other people is just too personal for me. This is something that I'd rather talk to my husband only.
Chase Smith 2 years ago
Also you have the folks that, once they know your salary, change the way they interact with you. Whether it be someone who makes less assuming you'll buy them lunch or donate more to their kids latest school thing because "you can afford it," or someone looking down on you because you weren't able to negotiate as high of a salary. At my company you can easily go on the companies intranet and see the salary ranges for every position anyway.
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Wende avontuur 2 years ago
Way more than half of all People think they perform above average compared to their colleges. So if we all talked about our salery, many of us would be fighting for a higher salary because we think, but are not, performing above average. That's highly stressfull and super demotivating and the start of a very competative, ellbow work environment on the workfloor. Long story short. Being open about salary def has its downsides.
Ray Leguen 2 years ago
A good manager will manage expectations, if that's the environment, then it could be the wrong work place. Also there is nothing wrong with trying to do better, if your not happy with your colleague or work.
Load More Replies... Paul Macdonell 2 years ago
Equating one's self worth by an employer's willingness to set a fair salary is a fool's errand.
martin734 2 years ago
Personally, I couldn't care less what someone else earns, that is their business, not mine. Same about my salary. If you don't like what you are earning talk to your employer about it.
The Short Lady 2 years ago
Real question: Don't you mind if someone doing the exact same job as you is making more money than you?
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Michelle Klein 2 years ago (edited)
I think it's none of anyone's business but if you are of the opinion you're underpaid & want to know others compensation just to complain & throw a fit to be paid more..... maybe you should DO more. If you DO more and are underpaid, that's different
Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago
My old job of 25 years used to tell us not to talk about our wages because they were offering more to new, inexperienced hires than dedicated long term staff. If we complained they'd tell us if we wanted more money then we'd have to quit and apply again in 6 months when we're eligible for rehire and we'll get paid base plus experience. And they ment it, when I did quit they didn't try to keep me, but I'm not going back!
JoJo is 50 2 years ago
Absolutely insane ... This is why fair employment laws are created (obv not in the US)
Load More Replies... #14
Using social services. It is what they are there for, and you helped pay for them.
Mistiekim 2 years ago
“I don’t want my tax dollars being used to pay for lazy people! Just get a job!” - Most, if not all Republicans.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
OMG, RIGHT?! Yet these people who want to shame others for being on Medicaid or food stamps are the first in line for Social Security and Unemployment. I lost my job and insurance while pregnant. I used pregnancy Medicaid to cover the FORTY THOUSAND dollar medical bill, and still paid my OB 4000 out of pocket.
LazyStream 2 years ago
And that's why I could never move to America. To have enough people think this is a way to treat people.
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Ozymandias73 2 years ago
Sometimes s**t happens and you're in a bind. They're not their just for homeless people. Hell, I've used them a couple times when I was going thru some things. And I was thankful they were there. If anybody is shaming people for going to them, they suck.
Marc 2 years ago
I had Brain cancer at 42 and have been in disability and social security and Medicare ever since, I'm 52 now and have no shame.
Bloobee bloobee bloo bloo bloo 2 years ago
When I used to get welfare and people would give me s**t about it I would tell them lI work full time and pay taxes which mean MY OWN money is funding the money/food stamps I receive”
Lauren Capp 2 years ago
Worked all my adult life, paid for my health insurance. Lost my job at the beginning of covid and decided to go to school at 35. I'm on state funded insurance now as a full time student. It's there to help and no one should feel shamed for having taken advantage of it.
#15
Men having emotions
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
Men having emotions other than anger, women being angry or being unemotional. It's like men are only allowed to be either angry or unemotional and women must feel some feelings but it must not be anger.
Mick Casey 2 years ago
As a man who is extremley emotional I agree. My boyfriend is the same way and I love him for being himself instead of just following that expectation society has placed for no reason. Let the men in your life know that they are cared for, a lot of them are quietly lonely and sad.
ForThePeople 2 years ago
Yup. This is even for underage people males, as I know that I was heavily teased once when I was 7 for crying after falling down and getting a cut.
Faith Donovan 2 years ago
Men not being allowed to talk about their emotions or problems with their guy friends leads to their girlfriend being their sole source of emotional support, and if the relationship fails, the guy has a much harder time processing it because he's lost that support
Lauren Capp 2 years ago
My fiance a 30 year old male has just over the past few years let go of this stigma. I always told him, babe it's OK to cry or feel things and talk about them. He said he was always told to be a man and deal with it. Macho stigmas are very old and traumatizing to men. If you dont want to share or cry, thats ok too. If you do as a man, you should be able to let it go and feel supported.
#16
Being lazy, there is nothing wrong with spending the whole weekend just playing video games and watching movies! As long as you don't neglect your kids or pets during that time who cares what you did on the weekends or after work!
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
I guess if you don't live with anyone else and you aren't neglecting other responsibilities that you have, then there's nothing wrong with it.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Even if you do live with others, it’s okay to have down days.
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Renee Stephens 2 years ago
Heck, I'm retired (actually disabled) and I do this most days of the week. I do some housework in the morning while my husband is at work and then the rest of the day is mine to do with what I will. I have hobbies that I work on but some days the pain makes it so Netflix and Hulu are my best friends.
Michelle Klein 2 years ago
Sometimes my SANITY DEMANDS A LAZY DAY so I can RECOVER from the other days I'm way over producing .... it's called DOWNTIME & necessary
JaimeeJames WD 2 years ago
This is my plan for the weekend. Pets and kids are welcome to join me.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I call it "Fun stuff only days." I get weekends off, so I'll get all my weekend chores done on one day, then spend the other day doing nothing but fun stuff, whether it's binging a series, taking the dogs for a walk down a new or longer path, playing games, arts and crafts. Whatever I feel like doing that isn't housework or job related (besides feeding the animals.)
#17
sex education for people younger than the age of expected sexual activity
V 2 years ago
Some girls get their period at 8 or 9. Should at least start teaching kids about puberty then. Even if one kid starts puberty later, they will be around kids who go through it earlier and all kids should know about it.
Sofia 2 years ago
I hadnt' my period at 8 but I discovered that "that zone" could give pleasure at 9 or 10... So is better to educate than not
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Judo Flipped By Nobody 2 years ago
Also, everyone should be told about periods. Even if you'll never get one, you might be friends or lovers with someone that will. Everyone should know.
Monday 2 years ago
This. Somewhere in your life you are going to be exposed to a period one way or another.
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Samuel Pelatan 2 years ago
Not teaching kids about consent only benefit those who want to abuse them
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
People misunderstand what sex ed can be for kids and think it's about teaching children "how to" have sex, when in reality for young children it's more about consent and respecting theirs and each other's bodies.
Load More Replies... Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
Kids are exposed to s**t waaaay younger these days they need to at least know what consent is and a healthy relationship looks like at a primary school age so they can identify if they need help
IamMe 2 years ago (edited)
I talked to my kids in age appropriate ways since they were little. Explaining that, these things were for grown ups to do with each other. That grown ups aren't allowed to do them with kids, and even if someone is nice, they are really a bad guy if they do those things to kids. And, if they say they will hurt you or hurt me, don't believe them. They will go to jail. There are good guys there that will deal with the bad guy.
Paul Robinson 2 years ago
God forbid our children should understand the basics of human biology...
Trillian 2 years ago
My take is: If they ask, answer the question. Correctly, but with no more details than they were looking for. This way they can grow into knowing at their pace and no one needs to have an awkward special talk.
Viper Dogfish 2 years ago
I mean you're right, but I've never understood why the "special" talk is so awkward. It's nothing that special ffs, just a normal damn thing.
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Niall Mac Iomera 2 years ago
We teach kids about safe driving before they get behind the wheel. How is this any different?
#18
Politicians changing their minds when presented with new information.
DebB 2 years ago
I appreciate politicians learning & adapting. It's a good thing if based on facts.
Sarah SH 2 years ago
I wish I could come up with an example of this here in the U.S.
Load More Replies... Carlos 2 years ago
The problem is they seem to change their minds only conveniently around time for elections though...
Susie Elle 2 years ago
And with little explanation as to what made them change their minds. I understand that the more you explain, the more room for discussions is made. However, sometimes things just seem to change out of the blue.
Load More Replies... Jojo 2 years ago
I'd say cancel culture in general. As well as being made a villan for saying/posting stupid things in the past. Like... Why???? Life's a learning experience and making mistakes is a human thing and part of the process, especially when you're young or don't necessarily have the knowledge
lynne thorp 2 years ago
The problem is they don't change even though they are wrong...just double down
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
The political pundits characterise this as flip-flopping, rather than a sign of strength and maturity.
Liz Orreo trex ago go 2 years ago
Like with COVID. At the beginning we knew nothing, and guessed at correct health measures. Then we got results from studies, but people said they were making up stuff and got coo coo when they were told how to protect themselves. It takes time to get information about novel events/diseases
Load More Replies... #19
Failing. Failing does not mean you are a failure. Just means you tried something and it didn't work out right. It is very possible that "Those who never failed also never tried." is true.
Colin L 2 years ago
I always tell my students "making mistakes isn't failure. How will you learn if you can't make any mistakes?"
Linda Lee 2 years ago
"How will I learn if I don't make mistakes?" A teacher taught me that about 45 years ago. I said it to my mother and it stopped her in her tracks. That one sentence carries so much power and grace. Thank you for teaching it to your students Colin L.
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Stardust she/her 2 years ago
In exams, failing even once is considered to be a very bad thing and that everyone will remember you by that where I live. The pressure is what made sure I never failed
Donkey boi 2 years ago
There is no such thing as failure. You have successfully created an opportunity to lean and improve.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
There certainly is such thing as failure, it's just not what society usually labels it. When you intentionally neglect what is right, knowingly put greed in front of caring, then I think that is failure. If something doesn't work out but you tried, that's not failure.
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Oerff On Tour 2 years ago
People who work a lot make a lot of mistakes. People who work a little make few mistakes. I know a lot of people who don't make mistakes!
Mick Casey 2 years ago
why society expects everyone to perform in the top 5% all the time is outrageous. It's ok to even be mediocre at some things and fail at others. We don't have to be elite at every task we perform.
Rw Wr 2 years ago
You do have to excel at absolutely everything as a gifted kid. Mistakes are intolerable. Still working at breaking this mindset.
Load More Replies... SuperChicken 2 years ago
"Try and try until you succeed," isn't that what they say? How will you learn, if you don't make a mistake or fail?
Lauren Capp 2 years ago
"Failure is success turned inside out." Wise words and a wise poem. Failure is a growth opportunity and should be viewed as such. It took me til my mid 30s to figure this out.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
My parents always said that if I failed that meant i was half asking it and was lazy. Ofc they're right about the lazy part, but it really didn't do great stuff for my productivity and gave me perfectionism (which my mom then tried to blame on me) and anxiety
#20
Doing things (like going to a restaurant) alone
SuperChicken 2 years ago
What's wrong with going to a restaurant alone? Let alone, doing things alone?
Monday 2 years ago
I didn't realize this was a "wrong" thing...I used to love going to restaurants alone and nobody ever batted an eye.
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Bill Evs 2 years ago
I've gone to the cinema alone many times but when I tell people they look horrified. I've never understood why, I'm literally going to watch a movie I want to see and at that point the cinema is the only option. And anyway you sit quietly in the dark so I've never understood why I need someone else with me.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
I don't judge people that eat alone. But if they're taking up a 4 seater while leisurely sipping coffee and there is a wait, I get frustrated.
Ian Wells 2 years ago
If you are a server, that is fair, and is why I always tip around 25% when I eat alone - so long as the servers aren't being rude or teste about it. If you are not, then f**k off and mind your own business. Customers don't choose where they get seated, with the exception being where bar seating is offered and available. I have no obligation to rush myself for your or anybody else's benefits when I am not on anybody else's clock.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
When you live alone, you do most of your activities alone. I've never felt the need to drag someone along when shopping, eating out, watching a movie, etc. Heck, I go on vacation alone.
Michelle Klein 2 years ago
Sometimes the ONLY company I want is my own & nothing wrong with that!
Mary Mosher 2 years ago
Many years ago, before it was considered "self care" or a "mental health break", when I was frazzled from a busy work job and being the Mom of a busy toddler, I would find a couple hours on a weekend and let Dad take care of childcare. (Sadly, back then, it was considered "babysitting" to leave Dad with his own child.) At any rate, I would take a good book with me, and go to a local quiet restaurant, and find a table at a back corner. I'd have my lunch and spend an hour or two getting lost in my book. The restaurant wasn't busy, so they didn't try to rush me out. Just that couple hours on my own was the recharge I needed for the next few weeks. I quite enjoyed going to the restaurant alone!
#21
Piracy for incredibly old movies/games etc. If its no longer available, then it should be encouraged if anything.
AndThenICommented 2 years ago
Funny- I never thought of games and movies not entering the public domain. Something to think about
marcelo D. 2 years ago
You can thank disney and the disney corp for that. Something used to be public domain after 14 years (extendable by 14 more years if the creator was alive). Then come Disney, and lobbied to change it so Mickey mouse would not be public domain. He successfully made them change copyright law to like 54 years. However, after those 54 years were coming close, the disney corp lobbied again to change the law, and got them to change it for “70 years after the death of the author”. Which by the way for mickey that will be 2024, so be sure that copyright laws are about to be extended again
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Astrius 2 years ago
« You don’t sell neither this game nor this console anymore. » Nintendo: yes. « Then let us play this game that we like. » Nintendo: No, screw you, hope you’re lucky on ebay.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Also Nintendo though: 'here's most of our game library available to play with some modern enhancements'. I mean, they are certainly overly aggressive about their old games, but they also have actually followed through with making them available again in a way only matched by dedicated fan communities for any other 'system'.
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Victor Manteca Hierro 2 years ago
I understand they have to protect their intellectual or commercial rights, but for things that are simply not available for rent/buy because they're not profitable anymore... Just unfair.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Yeah, and they aren't available for free because they aren't public domain, so even fans can't pay to keep their passion available. It's also not a small section of things: there are many thousands of things lost to IP limbo because the rights-holders are permanently AFK.
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Virgil Blue 2 years ago
Agree. I was playing the Dead Space remake and wanted to download the old spin-off I bought once on ipad to replay later but it has apparently evaporated for ever.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
No, that's more applied to something that never truly finishes development. Like "here's a cool game, try the first section", users: "yes this game is cool, we would like to buy it" devs: "great, buy this incomplete buggy version and we'll keep updating it" devs, later: *sounds of crickets*
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Rhonda Wandler 2 years ago
You don't seem to understand what intellectual property is. Musicians put a lot of effort into making something that is invisible.
Mistiekim 2 years ago (edited)
Yes, but they were already paid for the project right? If someone is taking your music and trying to claim they created it, that’s one thing. But this is different. Also - this applies to actors and musicians involved in projects. If you want clips/ stuff of yourself out there, you should put it out and not be restricted by studios.
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I'd give my eye teeth for a pirated copy of China Beach. This wonderful show will never be seen again due to the music copyrights.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
You never know... I worked on the show Ally McBeal over 20 years ago and it took up until a few years ago for it to be released on DVD/Streaming because of the music rights. They finally made a deal to get it released. I hadn't seen them since first run and binged them all during lockdown.
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#22
Admitting you were wrong
Brian Dean 2 years ago (edited)
Google says, "I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me." But we know that's BS
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Panama Jack 2 years ago
I would rather know I am wrong than to continue promoting something false.
Phyzzi 2 years ago (edited)
My favorite example of this is when Michaelson and Morley used an interferometer to show that there is Aether in space, between earth and the sun... at least that was their hypothesis... but when they ran their test the evidence showed very clearly that there was not, in fact, any kind of "medium" in space for light to travel through. Their published results helped form the framework for the realization of special relativity.
#23
**One example** of something that society considers to be bad but is not inherently so is aging. While aging is often associated with decline and loss, it can also bring wisdom, maturity, and a greater appreciation for life. It is often how society views aging and the cultural attitudes toward the elderly that are negative, not the process itself.
Henrik Schmidt 2 years ago
You're not allowed to age now? What the hell else are you going to do?
Mick Casey 2 years ago
Get plastic surgery so you look young (and also scary) forever.
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Rick 2 years ago
As an elderly man, it becomes obvious that people in general ignore you more. However, if I take the initiative to engage with them, they open up rather quickly.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Some of that, to be honest, is conflict aversion. I am hesitant to open up to older people whom I don't know well (and some whom I do know well) because I have been ostricized by relative strangers to the parents of friends and even older family members for literal decades. At this point, I have to know that I won't be attacked or forced into uncomfortable conversation (and not by accident) before wanting to engage. That's not to devalue the very real age discrimination that many older people (especially those without the privilege trifecta) absolutely face but rather, I hope that knowing that some reluctance to engage is fear developed from experience and not disgust might help lower the barrier in both directions.
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The only Plueschopossum 2 years ago
So far I've liked aging A LOT. I'm now 34 and I'm much fitter and more confident than I used to be with 18. And I have reached that age where I don't give a sh*t anymore if my clothes are out of fashion as long as I'm comfortable ^^
Clare La 2 years ago
I don't think they are referring to 34 somehow, it's not like you are being discriminated against for being in your 30s or invisible in films etc.
Load More Replies... Paul Macdonell 2 years ago
There is real discrimination of seniors in most health care systems. They are the most vulnerable and treated like their health or quality of the life are not as important as young patients.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I look forward to my old age, being closer to death and interacting with the newer generations seeing how they’ve advanced from our time
Ashlisha 2 years ago
I honestly just love this! It's maybe sentimental, but I felt myself looking over my own grandchildren.
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LadyHermit 2 years ago
Worse yet is when you internalize this rhetoric and consider yourself pretty much finished after a certain, socially arbitrary, age.
K.E.S 2 years ago
Very true... it shows how many people retain what is in the Bible...Moses lead 600,000 men plus women and children out of Egypt. He was 80 years old.
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Satya Bain 2 years ago
Getting old is something that is denied to far too many people. It's not fun for many, like me, but it is a privilege.
Katie Howerton 2 years ago
I absolutely enjoy aging. I look forward to getting old and seeing where things go in life
Barb Singbeil 2 years ago
Some cultures revere the aged. North America looks at the elderly as a nuisance.
#24
Poverty. Have you noticed how most people treat those who make little money? Yes, there are some hard-core slackers who don't want to work, but most people work their asses off to make a living, and it's not because of laziness, but because of social or health reasons. It is worth remembering that one day you make fun of the poor, and the next day you are begging for your own bread. Be kind!
Telepathetic 2 years ago
When it's really the greedy oppressive 1% causing them
Load More Replies... Xenia Harley 2 years ago
In my experience, having worked with people on food stamps or cash assistance, life events usually took a turn for people that caused them to need assistance! Any one of us could end up needing some help! Stop judging!
Klepkip 2 years ago
We should make a habit of complimenting those who manage each month with minimal resources! It's a grossly underestimated skill that doesn't nearly get enough praise!
Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
My mother used to teach us "we're all 2 pay cheques away from being homeless" and she also used to say if we say somebody drunk or off their face and we would giggle (we were little kids and they looled silly) "There but the grace of God go I" as an adult this makes a lot more sense. I have 2 kids and I'm the sole provider, some weeks s**t gets real. Never judge
Ian Wells 2 years ago
I once met a man begging a take out restaurateur for any spare food he might have had. I was sitting, waiting for my food to be ready and decided to add on a sandwich for him. We end up chatting a bit while waiting, and he was obviously high or drunk or something, and having a real go of it with mental health. Despite that, we ended up having a surprisingly intelligible conversation about local politics and philosophy. The dude was smart, but heavily crestfallen and a bit bitter, but only kept going because he knew someone out there had it worse than him and hated knowing that and not being able to do more and hated that so few people were even willing to do anything meaningful for people in his situation. To him, just being around to take up space and force people to see what society and all it's b******t can do to people was his sole reason to live. The crazy thing was that he looked very much like I imagine I will in another decade or two.
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Jonnathan Poirier 2 years ago
This right here, I am low income and have been homeless before. No matter how hard you try you get treated like s**t. I was working 60 hours a week, did the cops care nope just remove your stuff. People villainize the homeless and low-income and it's horrible.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
So many people are very judgmental. My mom used to say, "learn to tighten your belt because, one day, the wheel will need to turn." What goes up, must come down.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Poor people have been maligned and mistreated for centuries, which only proves that humans haven't evolved.
KM 2 years ago
Many people are suffering from mental health conditions and became homeless. Our system is setup to make a subset of people to look bad. We must be real and help each other. The system is wrong for not helping people that are thrown out. God forbid you need a surgery or medication that costs big money. No healthcare insurance? Job won't provide decent benefits? Yep, the rich got to keep their crowd small.
Faith Donovan 2 years ago
There are some hardcore slackers living off trust funds, too. Being rich shouldn't be considered a sign of competence automatically.
#25
Not tipping workers who do basic stuff like handing me a cup of coffee or a takeout bag. It’s okay to not want to pay 20% for just handing me stuff I bought.
Jon Steensen 2 years ago
The issue is that at least in the US, they have set up a really crazy system where people like e.g. waiter has been allowed to "setup their own business inside a restaurant" rather than being paid staff by the restaurant owner. They are paid so little that they must rely on being able to be paid in tips, so you are basically making them work almost for free if you don't tip them, and that is not fair either. I like the european model more where the pay for the waiters are determined in advance and added to the price of the meal, so they don't have to gamble on your mercy.
Suzy Creamcheese 2 years ago
They aren't my employees. Why is it my responsibility to pay them?
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Julie Snelling 2 years ago
I always wonder what American companies like Starbucks and Macdonald's feel when they open up in the UK and find they legally have to pay their staff a decent wage. And if they can do it the UK why can't they do it in America
Unpopular opinions 2 years ago
They have to pay legal wages in America too.
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Henrik Schmidt 2 years ago
Tipping for handing me a bag? What? Where is this expected? I'll bet it's the U.S.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Ok, so minimum wage in my state is 15-17$/hr. I’m not tipping you for making me a cup of coffee. That waitress over there still makes 2.15 an hour. SHE absolutely will be getting a cash tip.
Joolee 2 years ago
When minimum wage is $17/hr why is the waitress only getting $2.15?
Load More Replies... Victor Manteca Hierro 2 years ago
In my country, waiters are paid by their employers just like any other worker, and tips are just tiny and voluntary shows of satisfaction, but waiters don't make a living on them. The US system is ridiculous, imagine having to tip the pilot of your commercial flight apart from buying the tickets, because their air company just would pay them 3rd world wages.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Then you need to vote to change America's àss pay structure. I love visiting Japan. There's no haggling, there's no tipping, everyone is paid a fair wage for menial services, it is GREAT.
Mim“the Swede”Sorensson 2 years ago
Yeah, we went for that approach in Sweden too. It’s more reliable and fewer people get screwed over.
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Heather Menard 2 years ago
Or they already charge you a delivery charge. Why do you have to tip above that?
Invisible Panda 2 years ago
The delivery charge goes to the company, not the employee doing the delivery. That being said, don't know why the company can't pay their employees better if they are collecting all these extra "fees".
Load More Replies... Colin 2 years ago
Let's equate this to any other industry. The restaurant has a contract with you the client to provide their product. The staff has a contract with the restaurant for payment. If you are getting a roof done you pay the person you signed papers with, not whomever comes to donthe job.
#26
Voluntary celibacy.
People act like you're missing out, or wierd just because you don't want to have sex.
A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago
There are several several levels of human sexual desire, from read a psychological article about it. Also have observed this behavior among people of my acquaintance.
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Amy Taylor 2 years ago
Here's an upvote for you. Why anyone downvoted you for proclaiming that is a mystery to me.
Load More Replies... Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Libidos come in every single shift, including park. You don't want to do it, don't.
Ambry Petersen 2 years ago
This one so.much. Sadly we live in a society that makes it seem like you have to have sex to be accepted, or that there's something wrong with you if you don't want it all the time, or at all.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦 🇬🇧 2 years ago
I think because people mistakingly believe that celibacy is synonymous with being alone/lonely. But, there are people in asexual relationships. We have good friends that are an asexual couple. Anyway, nobody's business where others do or don't put their bits. You do you.
Paul Robinson 2 years ago
Sex is kind of oversold in our society. Yeah sure, it's fun, but also an inconvenient headache with a lot of possible consequences. Sometimes it is just not worth it.
Lea 2 years ago
There are a lot less consequences when a lot of the stigma around sex is torn down. We should remember everybody experiences life differently so for some people sex was very under sold too and we should embrace everyone from the asexuals to the proud slüts.
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Disinterested Panda 2 years ago
Not for everyone to be sure, but it forces additional relationship dynamics to come into play - outside of sex, what is your couple? How does it work? It isn't bad or weird, I agree.
#27
Breastfeeding in public
Premislaus de Colo 2 years ago
Breastfeeding in public should be banned, but only after eating in public is banned, because that's what breastfeeding actually is - giving food to your child.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I hated breastfeeding in public because my kids all liked to pop off and look around, exposing me to the world. But, I think that should be OUR choice and not be shamed for it.
James016 2 years ago
It's baffling that people have a problem with this given most if not all women who breastfeed in public do it very discreetly.
Anne 2 years ago
"but... Boob is for boner? So boob out means for boner means filthy!" -some stupid pornsick man somewhere
Load More Replies... Mulberry Juice 2 years ago
“Aaaaah, they’re feeding their hungry baby, the horror!!” /s let the babies be fed guys
KM 2 years ago
Someone needs to evaluate their breastfeeding issues. Freud could break that down for ya.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
That man need a hark whack on the head with a book, and then he needs to experience menstrual pain. “Penis is envy” my A*S.
Load More Replies... Panama Jack 2 years ago
Yeah, I can't even pretend to understand this one. It is natural. We are shaming mothers for caring for their babies. I seriously don't get that. Mind your own business.
Mary White 2 years ago
Again. 70 yoa and, seriously?! We're still discussing breastfeeding?! What hell is wrong with people?
Ambry Petersen 2 years ago (edited)
While I agree we need to get rid of the stigma surrounding breast feeding I have a few differing points. I'm nursing my own child cutrently. Most women prefer breast feeding to be a personal matter. It's part of the bonding process, and special time for Mom.and baby. Many zoo keepers try not to interfere at all during the first few days of life so as not to.upset the bond of mom and baby, thus our wanting privacy may actually be somewhat instinctive. I know when I'm nursing my baby I don't want a bunch of people talking to me. I just want to focus on my baby. While I don't mind those I trust most (my Mom, my husband etc) being present for so intimate event I don't want those precocious moments interrupted by alot of strangers or noise. I think stores and restaurants should offer a Mothers room (even if it's just a room with a few chairs) for those Mothers wanting privacy to feed thier babies.
#28
Not working 24/7 or participating in the “hustle culture”
SuperChicken 2 years ago
I used to work for someone, who would frown on us whenever we leave on time. He thinks that we're not being "loyal" if we didn't stay late. A hostile work environment, too. Thank goodness, it didn't take long for me to find a different job, where it wasn't as stressful. We did some overtime, when need be, but not all the time.
Henrik Schmidt 2 years ago
Why would you ever be loyal to a shltty job or boss? What is it that these people don't get? You pay me for my time and my work. My loyalty is not covered in my contract.
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liam newton-harding 2 years ago
The "hustle culture" is a big bandaid we were sold to cover up the fact that most people can't live on just one job, like their parents did. "Hey, that hobby you enjoy? The one you engage in to relax, and de-stress from your job? You should monetize that! Hustle, hustle, hustle!!!...Oh, you don't want to? I guess you're just lazy."
Steven Livingston 2 years ago
I aint too lazy to smack the taste out of some fool's mouth who rolls up on me with a line like that.
Load More Replies... Mick Casey 2 years ago
The hustle culture is something super unhealthy in American culture and it needs to stop.
Johnnynatfan 2 years ago
I'm in construction and it used to be that you were expected to work 10 to 12 hour days 6 days a week. That is changing thank god. I worked once worked for a company and was working 12 hours a day six days a week on top of a 2 hour commute. They laid me off as soon as one of their friends was available to come to the site to work after he finished his project in another state. I told myself I would never work crazy hours like that again.
b 2 years ago
No. Just no. Companies cannot squeeze people to cover two jobs on one salary. They hate that after the pandemic people wised up and stopped doing it. I suspect this is the reason for the tech layoffs currently. They want people to be grateful to have a job and go back to "peasant culture".
Ilidanna 2 years ago (edited)
Idk who needs to hear it, but you don't need a 'special 'reason to take your day off. In fact, I took one today, just to chill out. Hung out with my cats, went on a walk, boought myself a dessert, put on some music. Best decision I made recently, highly reccomend if you feel overhelmed.
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
Amen. And you're also allowed to do things just for fun. You shouldn't be expected to monetize your hobbies.
Steven Livingston 2 years ago
A good job never loved me back. The same goes double for a s****y job. I work to live; I don't live to work.
#29
Not having kids.
Stop asking people, you never know what they’re going through, and it’s nobody’s business.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
As I've said before, having children is not for everybody. For some, it might be as personal as having some medical issues. Really, it's nobody's business.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
My friend adopted hers and she told me that people are always asking her insensitive questions like "why didn't she have her OWN kids" I mean, seriously??? Pretty sure they are her children.
Load More Replies... Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
I'll admit that I don't want a kid because I am selfish about having my time and money for me after giving so much of it to a less desirable childhood and my boss now. People say that changes when you have a kid, but why take the risk? I'm perfectly fulfilled with my fur baby.
Renee Stephens 2 years ago
My children are 33 and 31. I have 3 (working on 4) granddaughters. I love all my babies with all my heart but, there are days still I wish I had never had kids. I was not in a good place when my first was born (daughter) and it just got worse from there (my mother took her own life when my daughter was 7 weeks old....this was 5 months after my sister died from complications of lupus). Now my kids have kids and I can see the mistakes I made in my children's parenting. Don't get me wrong. I was a good mother (ask my kids.... they'll tell you I was a great mother) and I wanted to have kids since I was a little girl (probably some deep seeded, although subconscious, need to be better than my mother) but, I was too young and not in the right head space. So, from a Mom and Nonie, you have kids if you want to or you don't have kids if that's what you want. I will never judge or shame you (unless you have kids and suck at it.... like abusive and what not) either way.
Caitlin Williams 2 years ago
I had a casual acquaintance ask me when my BF and I were going to have kids. My reply to them was asking when was their last bowel movement. They got huffy and said "That was rude." My response to them was, "Same."
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I learned a long time ago to shut people down who are prying into my personal choices or judging them. I simply don't tolerate people who assume they have a right to comment.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
My poor younger cousin got married about 4 years ago and at EVERY single family function, they get asked when he and his wife are having kids. He usually hangs with my husband and I because we would never be invasive like that.
WillowRoseL 2 years ago
I should have thought of it at the time when we got married and everyone (friends, family, coworkers) was pestering us to have kids, but a good response to that incredibly invasive and insensitive line of questioning might be some variation of "we've been trying to conceive but haven't been able to, so thanks for bringing that up and twisting that knife". That might shut some people up.
Jonnathan Poirier 2 years ago
At 33 I'm happy to be one of the few in my age range that has no kids. I know ppl my age with 15 16 year old kids thanks no.
#30
Cutting off your parents/family if they're toxic.
pusheen buttercup 2 years ago
Your relationships are your choice :) it's not for anyone else to say
Michelle Klein 2 years ago
Cutout the toxic people who judge you for cutting out the toxic family members
Alexis Minx 2 years ago
They keep saying about taking care of your mental health, to do so you have to cut-off toxic people whether they're blood related or not!
K.E.S 2 years ago
Oh my gosh! Although we own lots of properties, our children will NOT get a dime when we die. Not one red cent! I am leaving everything to organizations like the United Way, the American Diabetes Association, NAMI, and the Disability Office of the undergraduate university my daughter graduated from. That way our wealth will go to helping others than our self-centered, narcissistic, Millennial Dr. daughter and our other children. Now, let's see who has the last laugh!
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Like a cancer!!!! I've been in "remission" for nearly 40 years, and it's wonderful.
#31
Talking about periods.
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Or having your period. Women always are so embarrassed about everything related to our menstruation.
Sky Render 2 years ago (edited)
I don't care if it makes men uncomfortable, if I'm on my period and it's making life hell, I'm gonna talk about it.
Kris92 2 years ago
I ranted about my discovery about period panties to my therapist today. Bought a pair for a gift card I got for christmas just to test it and see if it was for me. They were so comfy and did exactly what they were supposed to do. I'm a heavy bleeder (for reference) and did not bleed through my pants. I had to invest in more after this discovery and I will soon no longer be dealing with pads or tampons. So it's 1. More comfortable 2. Saves me money in the long run and 3. More environmentally friendly. The last one was just a bonus for me. And my therapist said they were curious now and will have to check it out too. I'm throwing this out here in case someone else is interested. Can't stop raving about it and this post gave me the opportunity to do so. 👍
Must Be Bored Again 2 years ago
Stupid names for a period. AUNT So and So is in town. Time of the month. On the rag. I could go on....................
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
The devil’s waterfall. Satan’s shower.That f****n’ time again.
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Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I wish more women would retaliate against this nonsense. Your SO thinks "women's issues" are gross, then that region should be denied when he snuggles up to you. Sorry, but you think that part of me is gross and we don't won't that, do we?
V V 2 years ago
Agree 100%. Can’t believe there’s a few men in these comments who think women should never talk about periods or their pain. The same sort of men who talk loudly when they have minor pain. Women are real people and shouldn’t have to pretend they don’t have bodily functions or pain.
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Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
Where do we stand on the interrobang? (Yes, that's real. Look it up and I hope you learned something from my comment. Either way, have a good day)
Muff_Fluff 2 years ago
Oh my god we need one of those in common grammar please! It looks so weird when I write?! So I have to pick one.
Load More Replies... #32
Talking to yourself.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Lucky! I definitely should listen to myself more often, if only to point out how stupid I'm being the way a good friend should.
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Luna Katka 2 years ago
I find saying things quietly to myself helps me process thoughts and tasks.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
I get my best self talk in the shower. Man I nut out all the world's problems in there
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Since talking to yourself indicates a higher level of intelligence, only fools would think this is bad.
Norah Reilly 2 years ago
For me, it's a fine family tradition which I uphold with gusto! Plus, sometimes it's the only intelligent conversation I have all day.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Sometimes, it's a good outlet. Isn't it? Or, is it just me? (now, i'm talking to myself 😁)
I can't think of a good name 2 years ago
I mostly do this when thinking. I find that muttering under my breath is useful for complicated problems, especially maths.
#33
Having disagreements. Totally normally to disagree with people. It’s even more normal to disagree with your friends and still remain friends.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
I beg to differ. I am not going to stay friends with people who have different opinions on women's and LGBTIQ-rights or are racist.
Henrik Schmidt 2 years ago
There are topics where it's okay to disagree and that's it. But when it veers into "I don't agree with your right to exist" territory, then they can get the hell out of my life!
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Sarah SH 2 years ago
I am okay with disagreements in my relationships. What bothers me are “right fighters” who just have no insight and won’t stop or admit they’re wrong even if they see proof to contradict them. They would rather “win” the argument than have a healthy relationship.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
They'd rather be "right" than be happy. Awful people to be around...
Load More Replies... SuperChicken 2 years ago
There are people who cannot handle or accept that not everyone agrees with them, and thinks that those who disagree are their rivals.
Samuel Pelatan 2 years ago
Yeah, there is conflict in any relationship and being able to manage them is important. But disagreement is not conflict, and you can easily stay friend with someone after an argument, but if they disagree on your right to exist (or anyone else for that matter) that's not something you can work on and resolve...
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
So, me and one of my SILs both have Systemic Lupus. We've had another family member, after a couple shots of liquid stupid, start talking about how us dumb leftists are "gonna turn the country into a bunch of fückin' pinkos because we don't WANT to pay for our healthcare. Our problems aren't FAIR for them to HAVE to pay for! " This family member literally told us to our faces, at a family gathering, that essentially we don't deserve to be alive. So no, that's not a "disagreement", and I don't have to tolerate that BS. This family member? Yeah, they've been to rehab 3 times on the public's dime, but somehow that's fair. (To be clear, I do actually think that's fair. I just think it's BS that they don't see the other side of the coin.) So no, I'm not going to tolerate people who think I don't have a right to exist, and that's why I empathize fully with other maligned and marginalized people. It should not be one more thing thrown on our backs to "help". Y'all are crushing us as it is.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Up to a point. I've already ghosted one racist resident, and two ever-Trumpers with no regrets. There are a number of differences I'll tolerate, but never hatred.
Mani Lacao 2 years ago
I am friends with a far right voter and a far left voter, our discussions are often interesting
#34
Being comfortable enough to relax and find enjoyment at home. You shouldn’t need to constantly leave your home to find enjoyment. It’s not bad to spend those staying home without going out shopping, to restaurants, to special events etc. there’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home
Dianellian 2 years ago
Not leaving the house on weekends, except for the occasional dim sum down the road is bliss.
lakitha tolbert 2 years ago
Yes. It very much depends on what the disagreement is about. If it's about other groups of people not having the right to live their lives in peace, then we cannot be friends. It's very easy to be friends with bigots when you're not now, nor ever going to be, on the receiving end of that bigotry.
Sarah Schumm 2 years ago
After I bought my condo, I stopped feeling as much FOMO about hanging out at home. I spent a lot of money on this place, I’m going to enjoy it!
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 2 years ago
Not to mention, going out to do stuff usually costs money. Maybe I'm saving up to have more stuff at home, damnit!
Paulina 2 years ago
Oh, I really like this one! Pretty much every time someone asks like "How was your weekend?" they expect to hear about where I went, what I've seen or done outside my home. And similarly it seems to be seen as "more valuable" or share worthy to be telling people about your travels, events attended and so on. I don't buy it.
Invisible Panda 2 years ago
Maybe people who need to constantly leave home to find enjoyment do so because there is no enjoyment at home. Until I made my real home that had no abuse in it, I was almost never at home. I guess another way to look at it is, it's not a real home if you feel the need to leave it constantly.
#35
Taking things that have been discarded but are perfectly good.
Marion Goriak 2 years ago
When I lived downtown, it went like this: Good stuff - laundry room. Less good? hanging around the dumpster for the divers. Only total garbage went in the dumpster. I live in a small town now - Good stuff - posted to town facebook page. Less good? donate to thrift. Only total garbage sent to landfill. Reduce, reuse, recycle, love your mother Earth.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I'm a lifelong treasure hunter. I love upcycling things. Okay... yes, I love to paint thrifted dolls into horror dolls because I'm weird like that, but I've also made some beautiful things out of curbside discoveries, lol
Susan 2 years ago
It's crazy what people throw away! On the roadside I've found a guitar that just needed new strings, a skateboard that just needed new bearings, and and outdoor furniture set that just needed a little sanding, rustoleum spray paint and some new cushions. And these are just a few that I can think of off the top of my head.
Diana Pahule 2 years ago
Where I grew up they would have a day where you could throw anything away and have it picked up, and you'd see a bunch of us rummaging through other people's discards.
Jeff Gabrisl 2 years ago
I haven't bought a TV in years, but I have fixed some really nice TVs that I found in the trash. One TV was there because the speakers didn't work, but it was fine with my surround sound system.
Beth Wendland 2 years ago
Probably meant more like dumpster diving? I dunno.
Load More Replies... kelly walker 2 years ago
I find lots of electric fans on the parkway. Most of the time, the only thing that's wrong with them is they're dirty. I take them apart and give them a clean, and screw them back together and test before giving them away.
Joshua Devey 2 years ago
Throwing away usable items is anti-environmental. What's even worse is legislation preventing or fining others from scavenging or dumpster diving.
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
We learned "reduce, reuse, recycle" before it was a thing. I grew up in the country, so anything paper went in one place and got burned outside. Anything organic was composted. Broken/torn things were mended or repurposed. Only once something had lost any usability did it get thrown out.
#36
A lack of professional ambition.
Tuna Fish 2 years ago
One million upvotes. Yes I am smart and educated, that does not mean I want to live a life of ladder climbing that is just a vicious cycle of stepping on other people to make some owner stupid rich. My life is for me to live. F**k everyone and everything else.
Gustav Gallifrey 2 years ago
'Why are you still at the level you are?', my boss asked me, 'you could go much higher'. 'Because i f***ing HATE meetings', i replied.
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Fabian Bernard 2 years ago
I'm a happy gardener with a perfect work/ family life balance. Used to earn 30% more in a past profession that crushed my soul. In fact, times saves money sometimes, and time is my wealth
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
People forget that "time is money" is a balanced equation.
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Alessa Gillespie 2 years ago
Yes! I work to pay the bills. I don't want to be vice president or CEO of anything.
devotedtodreams 2 years ago
This. I mean, I like my job, but let's face it, I enjoy leisure time a whole lot more. Work, even the enjoyable sort, brings money, and in this money-driven world, it's quite the necessity.
Jill Allen 2 years ago
This! I am well educated. Have had "white collar" jobs. I'm now working in a warehouse and moving around all day. I absolutely love it and couldn't be happier. The hours are long but the staff is great. It's so nice to not dread going to work.
Steph Hobbs 2 years ago
This exactly! My sister (53) and I both went to Uni. She is the Director of Strategy for an NHS trust, she loves it and is amazing at it. I (44f) don't handle high levels of stress well and work as a bookkeeper and administrator for an electrician. We're both happy. It doesn't bother me that she earns ten times as much as me, she works at least ten times harder! We're all different and it's about finding the level that makes you happy.
Audrey Malone 2 years ago (edited)
This was SO HARD to explain to some people, especially business owners. I applied for the job I wanted. Not as a way to hustle my way up to manager. The job I applied for uses the skills that I went to school and trained to learn. Middle management does NOT.
#37
Free healthcare
Emptycaketin 2 years ago (edited)
Upvoting this times a million if I could
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
All for it! A healthy populace is a productive populace and that leads to a healthy society.
Eric Tapril 2 years ago (edited)
https://owl.excelsior.edu/argument-and-critical-thinking/logical-fallacies/logical-fallacies-slippery-slope/
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Ray Horowitz 2 years ago
LOL! Where did you hear that, and how many bottles of meths had you drunk at the time?
Load More Replies... #38
Cursing and nudity. Especially in US. You people are so prude
JoMeBee 2 years ago
Drives me insane that sex and nudity are taboo but guns and violence are A-OK in the US...
ForThePeople 2 years ago
Guns and violence are not A-OK. Killers still get jailed and stuff.
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LillieMean 2 years ago
I've never understood why swear words are covered with a loud beeping sound, at worst it sounds like fierce Morse code. It disturbs more than swear words.
Ray Leguen 2 years ago
if you put loud beeping in normal conversations without cursing, it sounds like they are cursing because we hear a beep but our mind registers bad language
Load More Replies... Faith Donovan 2 years ago
Yep! We're taught in school that the puritans came here for religious freedom. They really came for the freedom to oppress other religions and beliefs.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
We'll tolerate cursing and nudity, only if there's plenty of violence before, after, and during.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
*head scratching* I’m from the US and that’s so not true. Maybe on television, but in reality not so much.
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
Compared to some other countries it definitely is. Listen to good friends from Scotland or Australia having a casual conversation sometime. Or watch some of those automobile dashcam videos on YouTube from the aforementioned places.
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#39
Knowledge, apparently. Seems like educating others and speaking on a topic you are certified to speak in is an offense to them somehow, so they think you're speaking down to them if you disagree with them.
ForThePeople 2 years ago
This is common, especially in the USA. If you are not a conspiracy theorist who believes in every stupid thing known to man, you are a sheep
Der Kommissar 2 years ago
I think if you ARE a conspiracy theorist who believes in every stupid thing known to man, you are a sheep. A good example would be flat-earthers. Now, excuse me while I go shoot up some ivermectin.
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D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Yep... Apparently if you try to join in a conversation or add something the other person doesn't know/didn't mention... suddenly they think you're tryin' to flex on them and they get really sulky and defensive.
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 2 years ago
Evolution, sex education, the fact that racism exists beyond individual attitudes... The fact that XX and XY are not the only combos of chromosomes... The fact that getting rid of abortion instead of the reasons people have abortions is ineffective.... The fact that being gay is... Literally normal, okay, and fine and not a big deal?
Calvin Smelliott 2 years ago
I just had this conversation a few days ago. Everything isn’t trolling, mansplaining or womansplaining. Sometimes it’s “I’ve lived and learned about this situation so don’t be offended if I share my knowledge it’s not meant to degrade you and be appreciative for the insight”.
Lonely Tentacle 2 years ago
This should be higher on the list. Education is extremely important. And I don't necessarily mean degrees.
Kristal 2 years ago
Omg yes! I have a master's degree and I was explaining to my best friend that it can be quite difficult and suggested ways it might help to focus on it, a friend with adhd and has never finished anything in her life. She stopped being friends with me because she said I was talking down to her. This is a person whose father's hand I held as he was dying. Yeah.
Emptycaketin 2 years ago
There IS a difference between educating and unsolicited advice/mansplaining. We could all do better to learn the difference, me in particular
#40
Sensitive straight guys
SuperChicken 2 years ago
The stupid machismo image that society led many of us to believe that men are not "real" men, if they're sensitive🙄🤦🏻♀️
Mick Casey 2 years ago
I hate the fact that sensitive guys in general are seen as weak or "not a man" because sensitivity is not what makes a man a good man.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
My husband is a combo of sensitive Lantinx and old school Marine. It’s such a juxtaposition…and I love it.
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 2 years ago
My boyfriend. Straight as a laser beam. Sobs and sobs whenever one of his fish or spiders dies.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
Not gonna lie, my husband getting all teary eyed and emotional at stuff is a lot of what makes me attracted to him.i think it's sweet.
You do you 2 years ago
I'm lucky that way. My brother ( he's gone now ) and my husband both have cried with me over sappy movies. My sister on the other hand, that woman has a thumping gizzard for a heart. Geez.
#41
Helping others and gaining nothing from it. I don't mean like charity work but if I come across someone in need that might just need to talk to someone I don't mind being that person. Have a few friends that are baffled by that idea that I don't need anything in return to help.
RedPepper 2 years ago
Some people think that human relationships are purely transactional. Sad.
Haywood Jablome 2 years ago
How are they not? All friends are giving each other something, even intangible things like laughter or companionship. If one friend doesn't reciprocate, then there is no friendship
Load More Replies... XenoMurph 2 years ago
Sometimes it really really does lol. But that's ok.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I'm a firm believer in paying it forward. Kindly strangers and non-profit organizations were there lending me a helping hand when I reached out, so it's my turn to extend my hand to others.
Hidden City Pictures 2 years ago
I hate it when people tell me that I shouldn't work off the clock or without pay. When I was at Burger King, my shift would end and I would go straight back to working until my ride came. I saw that my coworkers needed help and what else did I have to do? Sit there on my phone? I was just trying to be a good friend and employee.
Norah Reilly 2 years ago
Yeah - I know so many people who don't get why I don't get tax receipts for things that I donate. The whole idea of selfless giving seems alien to them; it just makes me sick at heart.
Tree P 2 years ago
I also never take the tax receipts. To me, it's not charity when you expect to get something in return.
Load More Replies... Fish Fingers 2 years ago
But you feel good about it afterwards. That's a reward. Now you're posting about it, with the knowledge that it makes a point to strangers that you are nice. That's a reward. Altruism cannot exist in a thinking being.
Diana Pahule 2 years ago
My mother taught me to be careful asking favors from people because they will ask for something in return.
Tjoori Vids 2 years ago
While I agree... and I always *used to* lend a hand... there comes a point when enough is enough. If I'm being used by all and sundry, yet when I need a helping hand, I am told "That'll be X amount of $$$" -- well. OR... I practically fed a "friend" through an entire autumn/winter. Lent money. Helped with house moves. Drove here there and everywhere. Then came the day when I had promised to come help, but needed to back out because there was a COW in my garden and I couldn't just leave -- and got blocked, badmouthed and never spoken to again. I'm being very careful now and not as ready to help anymore.
#42
Providing help to pedophiles so they don't commit crimes.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
Pedophilia does not mean someone is automatically an abuser. We need to stop harmful media portraying every single person out there with an illness as a criminal. For this, it needs to be treated, but people who have it *won't* get help if they're afraid they will be destroyed by word getting out that they have said illness. There are far more people with this that never harm any children their entire lives than those who do. This is backed by scientific research and studies, but the moment anyone tries to say not *all* these people are monsters, they're vilified themselves. We need to let them get help. Maybe one day we can track down something, somehow, that stops this, and we need to try to help those that have it to do that.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
And because many people refuse to understand that one can be logical and have empathy towards all humans, let me say I do *not* condone those that act out. It is clearly not right to harm any other human. I do not advocate for those that want to be seen as "mainstream", (the ones that want to change the name to something less threatening/make it seem like it's not a mental illness, etc). I simply want those to get help that need it, because otherwise how can this ever stop?
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Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
There are indeed some who feel paedophilic desires but recognise that it's wrong, don't act upon it, and seek help. I read an interview with three of them once, and they were all appalled and ashamed by the impulses they had.
Johnnynatfan 2 years ago
Im all for helping people who seek out help BEFORE they harm a child but if they cross that line then they need to be locked up because they will surely do it again.
Debby Keir 2 years ago
There is a state programme in Germany to help people with those feelings. There are also few charities in the UK which provide counselling and help with avoidance of offending. No, there's no cure, but as many have found, there is celibacy and and an understanding of the harm that offending causes to others.
Joey Marlin 2 years ago
I found this on the subject "The Prevention Project Dunkelfeld clinics in Germany, which use cognitive-behavioral methodology to teach clients how to control their sexual impulses, have treated more than 5,000 people who have voluntarily come forward seeking services. (Germany does not have mandatory reporting laws comparable to those in the United States.) The clinic also offers psychopharmaceutical interventions, including, when needed, testosterone-lowering medication to dampen sexual appetite. The project’s initial results, while based on small samples, appear encouraging: Participants have been shown to experience improvements in their self-regulation abilities and decreases in attitudes that support sexual contact with children." Though, admittedly, these are people who are seeking help and that in itself makes it more likely to be successful.
Load More Replies... Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
As a victim of paedo-sadists (there's NOTHING "loving" about what they do to children) this conflicts me. What treatment is there? How, exactly, can you stop these crimes before they happen?
Mir Adwari 2 years ago
You are right, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, genuinely loving about it. Some tell themselves it is, but that doesn't make it true. I am so very sorry for what you must have gone through. I'm attaching a link to an article produced in the UK's Guardian Newspaper - I hope it's not triggering in any way, so please read with caution. It does give a paedophile's perspective. It talks about the Dunkelfield program (the 'what treatment is there' part of your comment). Admittedly, those who come forward for help are far more likely to have this help be of benefit, than those forced into something like this due to being convicted. Medication to reduce sexual urges can also play a part - though that assumes they'll continue to take it. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/oct/16/how-germany-treats-paedophiles-before-they-offend
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jdtimid123 2 years ago
Also, if your kid is victimized by a pedophile, get them in with a counselor, even if you think they are too young to remember. It's easy to think you are saving them from further trauma, but if they are too young to remember a traumatic event, then they probably won't remember talking about it to a professional anyway, and it could help give them tools to handle things if they do end up remembering what happened.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I'll be brutally honest, if someone told me they had pedophile urges, I don't think I'd be strong enough to deal with it. Don't know what this says about me.
Mr Old School Cool 2 years ago
One and done conversation with the guy: You might remind him how much damage they will inflict by acting on these impulses. Encourage him to never act on these urges, and that he could seek help.
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Lisa Stewart 2 years ago
One of the most horrible parts of pedophilia is that people who suffer from it are often victims. It's a trauma response. Also the label becomes a little bit more inaccurate as people become physical adults and engage in relationships with other ages.. is the 25-year-old that married a 15-year-old 50 years ago a pediophile or is he a loving husband?. The 50-year-old lady that's dating a 19 year old? Predatory or healing? It's such an individual thing once people hit puberty...But true actual pedophilia is really frequently related to being abused and traumatized. Something has got to be done to stop the cycle. Something that works.
Best YouTube channel ever! 2 years ago (edited)
Could you imagine have no way to actually satisfy your needs? They must want to commit suicide. I wonder how many people who committed suicide were pedophiles and no one ever knew because they never told anyone out of fear of social backlash. Maybe this is one of the reasons why people should be able to choose euthanasia if they want.
Quinn Puffer 2 years ago
Agreed. I feel bad for people who feel attraction to minors and never act on it, but must always battle with it and keep it inside. They’re humans too, they didn’t choose to feel the things they do, they need compassion.
#43
Abortions.
Ari (they/them) 2 years ago (edited)
This is probably going to get a lot of replies/backlash but this needs to be said: People deserve the right to make choices about their health on their own. They don't need a government/society telling them that they can't be free to make their own decisions. (btw, parents make most*, if not all decisions regarding their child's health). *edit-typo
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I always view abortions as a versus child abuse, child neglect, child abandonment, child porn, child trafficking, poverty, ill-health, and a plethora of other realities that occur in circumstances that would've warranted an abortion issue.
Ari (they/them) 2 years ago
Just curious, how is an abortion child p**n (if that is what you are trying to say)? Also, parents make decisions regarding healthcare for their child because they are below the legal consent age. What about sexual assault/rape victims? What if they don't want a child? Or a deceased father (what if the mother doesn't want her child growing up without a biological father)?
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Dan Hutchinson 2 years ago
There is over 8 billion people now that are polluting our planet...do we need more?
V V 2 years ago
Just found out that my mom had an abortion two years before I was born (I’m pro choice and support abortions) and hearing her story, it was the best choice for her. I truly believe it was meant to happen that way that she grew through the experience of being pregnant when she wasn’t ready and was afraid physically of her dad though she was in her twenties and that she was healthier to be a mom when she had me.
Lucy Shupe 2 years ago
100 percent! What is happening now in America is scarier than hell. Worse denying birth control because of the pharmacist’s religious belief. I call BS on that also.
Everest the bookworm 2 years ago
bitches in the coments shut the actual f**k up "oh you have your choice the baby has it's own" IT IS A F*****G FETUS IT CANNOT ThINK DUMBASS AND I WILL HAPPILY RIP OFF YOUR ARMS SHOVE YOUR ARM UP UR A*S AND THE OTHER ONE DOWN UR THROAT SO UR GIVING URSELF THE HANDSHAKE OF GOOD DEATH ! i am sorry to the fellow pro choices who read this , i get mad sometimes .
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
If you were a woman and got raped, would you keep the baby you never wanted? If you were a teenage girl who didn’t have access to birth control, would you keep the baby who may kill/cripple you? Would you keep a baby if the pregnancy will definitely kill you? If there’s financial issues at home, will you be able to afford the baby? If you were in an abusive relationship, would you like to subject the baby to several decades of abuse? What if the baby had a condition that would make life so bad for it that being dead would be a better alternative?
Load More Replies... #44
Being single.
i_like_boats 2 years ago
all of my friends date, but I don’t need to! Poetry and novels instead!
Katiekat 2 years ago
Add to this the pressure to get in a relationship. Older woman here and widow. I will not marry a third time; I won't live with any man again. I'd prefer a living together apart arrangement, where we have romantic, lifelong, monogamous companionship, and our own space. Effectively cuts out extra cooking and cleaning for me, and puts the focus on just fun companionship.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Being single is far better than being in an unrequited relationship. Divorce stats are real.
DS Mom 2 years ago
I gave up on dating. I have the worst luck. Usually pick the controlling men-child. I'm done.
Mim“the Swede”Sorensson 2 years ago (edited)
Word. Some people need someone in order to be happy, some don’t. I don’t, but I recognize that some do. You know, both need to be equally fine. Other variants too, to be precise.
LadyHermit 2 years ago
Would love not being perpetually single, but I know what I need from a relationship to make it worth it for me and I know what I can offer. If the scale isn't more or less balanced, thx but no thx.
Mick Casey 2 years ago
There is nothing wrong with being single. There's no reason anyone should feel obligated to date someone else.
#45
Showing affection.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I'm not a tactile person or one for showing a lot of affection, but one day when a friend gave me some really sad news I just went over to her and held her hand, and later on she said just how much that meant to her.
Qia Munther 2 years ago
Depends on culture. Some culture shows lot of affection while other dont
toasty god 2 years ago
I don’t understand this one. Affection is not looked down on at all as long as it’s done to an appropriate degree and target. I hate being touched especially by people I don’t or hardly know and I get c**p for it ALL the time. This reads like some guy trying to hug strangers and balking when called out for being creepy.
Ambry Petersen 2 years ago
Just be sure they will be okay with it first. Some People don't like being touched without consent, especially those who've been abused before.
#46
Not going to college.
Ghostfish 2 years ago
I....don't really understand the connection. But, to be fair "I live in Australia" is a perfect punchline for any joke.
Load More Replies... DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I'd recommend not going these days actually. Too much market saturation over the last decade.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Or, conversely, going to college. Yes, some families try to actively convince their kids NOT to go. Both choices are just that, a choice.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I never set foot in a college/university and wound up with a really good career with benefits. It definitely can be done. I learned a trade instead. I dislike the mentality I grew up with that if you didn't go, you were absolutely headed nowhere. My husband went and did nothing with his degree and works in the same industry I do, except he had to pay off student loans.
#47
Talking about nightmares/suicidal thoughts. "oH donT sAY thaT"
Samuel Pelatan 2 years ago
I mean, it can be tought to ear. Maybe when talking about heavy subject make sure the person you are talking to can manage them ?
zovjraar me 2 years ago
**trigger warning** i tried to commit suicide a long time ago. years and years later, a co worker did it and ended her life. did this "trigger" me? yes. but i also felt like it was important for me to deal with those feelings and not simply shut myself away from the fact that there are people out there who will do what i tried to do. now this is just for me, personally. some people may not be in a good head-space to deal with those emotions, and i get that. but to make it completely taboo and to never talk about it, is to put it right back into the closet and make it shameful. i think a trigger warning is sufficient, so those who don't want to engage in that topic, don't have to.
Crazy Cookie 2 years ago
Nightmares me and everyone I know talk about all the time. Suicidal thoughts are what are ignored
#48
Social welfare… lots of countries, developed ones with real economies are quite happy with it. Yes, higher taxes, but if those funds actually take care of real needs, most gladly pay.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
I live in Australia and I have no problem with my tax dollars helping out people that need it. Believe it or not the way the economy works you need poor people. If you want to avoid inflation you need a certain percentage of people not making money otherwise if everybody is making the same amount and doing well then the money isn't worth anything. Rich people sook about helping poor people without realising its the poor that make them rich. We need a better system
K- THULU 2 years ago
Yep, that's one thing we actually do pretty well here.....
Load More Replies... #49
Making mistakes. I've f****d up a lot in my life, A LOT, but I've learned from it, grown, and become a better person than I would have been if I'd never made those poor choices. Making mistakes isn't bad, choosing to not learn from them is.
Edit: this got more traction than I expected, so let me explain. I'm a recovering alcoholic. I did a LOT of damage to my family and friends during my drinking days. The fact that I realized it was wrong doesn't magically absolve me of that, nor do I think it should. But I grew from those mistakes. My wife is the first one to point out that I'm a better person/husband/father *now* than I ever was before I developed a drinking problem. I'm a firm believer that it's important to offer people hope that they can grow from their poor choices, because if we can't then what's the point of stopping them if we're equally awful forever either way?
Edit 2: no, I never killed anyone drunk driving, I was just an emotionally absent, angry, rude, selfish, unhelpful a*****e who blew an insane amount of money (that we didn't have) on booze. Before my drinking problem, adequate was good enough for me. I was an adequate son/husband/father/friend for most of my life, and when I was drinking I was an awful one of all those things. Today I strive to be the best I can be of all of those things, but without my low point in the middle I would have stayed on my "this is good *enough*" path for my entire life. And if anyone else out there is struggling with alcoholism, just know that there's hope on the other side.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago
I made heaps and have made a career out of it now. I was expelled from every high school I went to and ended up in a behavioural school prototype (run by Christian youth workers and we did a school certificate equivalent from TAFE). The biggest one was getting charged with armed robbery as a 17yr old (I held up 3 guys with a pipe). I admitted to the crime and had it downgraded to robbery in company with a 3yr behaviour bond but no conviction recorded. Fast forward 20yrs and I have now studied and become the Aboriginal and Family Liaison in a school for at risk teens. I have completed studies in Youth work, Agriculture, Horticulture and Training and Assessing so I teach the students Cutlural Education and Horticulture were they receive a Certificate II in Horticulture when they leave school. Turns out it does take one to know one lol
#50
Atheism, according to a recent poll.
Liam Walsh 2 years ago (edited)
What recent poll? Atheism is not ipso facto bad. People can do bad things under all sorts of theories, ideologies etc. Not believing in a god telling you what to do or not to do doesn't make a person automatically a moral-free zone.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
I think this relates to the US where an increasing number of the population is Non-theist or Atheist. I think the last poll I saw said 38%. When I came out of the Atheist closet in 2012, it was 10.
Load More Replies... Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
The problem isn't atheism itself, it's what some dumb loud mouths twisted it into to gain attention online that's the problem.
Viper Dogfish 2 years ago
Atheism is freeing as f**k. No fear from a fictional god, no need to follow forced morals. Not believing in the imaginary friend up in the heavens doesn't make anyone immortal monster.
#51
Governments providing basic healthcare and welfare
Colin 2 years ago
Torn here on the welfare because I've seen generational welfare where parents are teaching their children not to work because they can get free money. I agree basic welfare should be provided but it shouldn't be a career.
BlueEyesWhiteDragon 2 years ago
It's because the system is broken. No one's getting rich off of welfare, but you can't blame people for choosing the easier form of poverty. They did the math and decided to do what was in their favor. If you don't have the skills or education to move from being poor to middle/higher class, then you fall into the category of the working poor. You work and receive little benefit from it. Your income doesn't lift you out of poverty. You lose access to free/reduced price healthcare and prescriptions. Social programs also generally take cost of living increases into consideration--something jobs aren't required to do. Of course, conversations like this usually result in statements like 'then reduce the social services' to force people to work at the same level of poverty, but that won't produce a healthy society. Creating a foundation of social support earlier and for more people would prevent this kind of generational poverty from forming in the first place.
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#52
Asking for help
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
I have a problem asking for help. I had to be very independent once I got to middle school because both of my parents worked and I was the oldest. I was in charge of my siblings after school and babysat for money. I bought my own school supplies, clothes, and anything else I wanted. I got myself up for school, made my own lunch and did my own laundry. I moved out when I was 18 and have been on my own since then. I have to make myself ask for anything and it's very difficult sometimes. I'm lucky that I have a couple of good friends to go to when I need help.
#53
Being shy or quiet.
BenyA. 2 years ago
I understand where this comes from, I used to be shy and quiet myself so I empathize when I come across others like that because they tend to be the most endearing and thoughtful people. But the consequences for maintaining this personality as you age is depressing. You simply have to speak up for yourself and have a certain level of boldness or be content with wanting less from life, sadly. It puts people at the mercy of many shituations (not situations) that thrive on timidity and silence.
#54
Not having a romantic relationship
Rachel Connot 2 years ago
I gave my (much younger) little sister this advice. Her and high school BF broke up right before college. I told her that this is HER time. Go out and have *safe* fun of course. But leave the trying to find a relationship till later. Focus on college and your career. You will find someone later who has done the same and you both will have your priorities where you want them and you can spend your lives together from there.
#55
As someone working in the conservation field two big ones for me are • Cutting down trees • Using herbicides The lorax and save the rainforest got everyone all f****d up on that first one, and now most of our oak woodlands are giving way to late-successional forests, or becoming homogenized with no canopy gaps. That's great habitat for some stuff, but a lot of animals depend on the structural diversity and/or composition of disturbance-based forests. For the second one, people equate any herbicide use with blanket spraying used in agriculture. Invasive species are a huge detriment to biodiversity, and the scale of the problem is often not really solvable, or at least not efficiently, with non-chemical means. The longer I stay in this field, the more I learn that armchair naturalists and true treehuggers are some of the worst allies. They have just as bad a grasp on nuance and ecology as loggers and farmers in a lot of cases.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
This goes for hunting, as well. Controlled sustainable hunting is beneficial to an ecosystem.
Viper Dogfish 2 years ago
Yes. People are just so damn sensitive about the "poor innocent animals" that they don't see (or don't want to) the whole picture.
Load More Replies... Dianellian 2 years ago
Actually I think our farmers and loggers are more up to date with modern and sustainable methods (at least in Australia) than the activist on their latest mission.
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Wow. I just read an article about the extinction of so many species of trees. It said that since 1970 the extinction rate among trees has been even more extreme and rapid than that of the other organisms on the planet. It also went into this whole discussion about how every time we cut down a tree we are actually eliminating an entire ecosystem because of all the different plants and animals that live on/in any single tree.
zovjraar me 2 years ago
everything in moderation! extremes are usually harmful. now make me a 10 ft mahogany desk.
Russell Tilling 2 years ago
Agree. Some disturbance is good. In the distant past it would have been done by massive herbivores, now made extinct by man. They moved continually so never broke-up an area totally, just a small proportion of it, which disrupts and encourages more diverse growth.
#56
Talking yourself up. I feel like every time I try to compliment myself I get hit with an eye roll and a “wow, how very humble of you” In reality I have low self esteem, and I’m just trying to give my self positive words of affirmation to help boost my low self confidence. I don’t see what’s so bad about that
bloominglymphnode 2 years ago
It is also perfectly fine to share what we're struggling with. I will put in a lot of effort to help someone who shares their struggles.
devotedtodreams 2 years ago
Most of the time, when I try this, I end up belittling myself or outright putting myself down. Not only because I don't want to be regarded as lacking humility, but also because usually, I really don't think I or the things I do are worth complimenting.
#57
GMOs.
If we want to feed 9+ billion people without destroying the Earth, and exacerbating the 6th mass extinction, we are going to need GMOs.
Fabian Bernard 2 years ago
The issue is the way it is financialy managed by corporations ( patents etc)
Dianellian 2 years ago
I recently did a country tour with a bus load of lefty/greenies. They were appalled I thought that gm is great if it can improve productivity. Less pesticides, chemicals, land? they didn’t get it.
#58
Women choosing not to have kids.
#59
Not being married or having children by a certain age. Dedicating time to yourself for self care, mental health and overall wellbeing. For some reason people think that’s wrong and that you should work until you die. The whole live to work concept is daunting.
#60
This may be controversial…. Men. Yes, there are some really awful men out there. Contrarily, there are some men in my life who have shown me great companionship, men who I have incredible relationships with. And by relationships, I mean strictly on a friendship level or family. There are also men who I have dated who I have the utmost respect for as well. Just because things don’t work out doesn’t mean it is solely because of him or his gender. It’s a two way street. I am always taken back but the outright disdain for men online. Imagine if the script were reversed. Imagine trying to walk this world a decent man when you are constantly being beaten down. I just think males and females make a great team when they work together. Are there bad men out there? Yes. Are there bad women out there? Also yes. Being s****y is part of human nature.
Mick Casey 2 years ago
This ^^ I fully agree. We need women's rights more than ever but that doesn't mean we can beat down men.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Saying "Machismo is stupid" is not swiping at every single man. And what part of the flippin' internet have you been on where you haven't been attacked for being a woman? No, really, I'd like to know.
ForThePeople 2 years ago
If a woman hits a man, the people laugh. If a man does the same, he gets mobbed.
Rod McCabe 2 years ago
But see how men treat gals on dating apps. Horrific. The ole' "like meat."
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
My cousin is a man on dating apps and he's a really nice guy who treats women really respectfully. He's constantly getting taken advantage of by women just looking for free meals and gifts then gaslighting him because he's not "manly" enough. It's sad.
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#61
Skilled labor or working in the trades.
Mental health care.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Shows a stock trader... Wow... They meant the blue collar workers... JFC...
#62
Caring about your own mental health.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago
Its a double edged sword unfortunately. When your suffering from, say, depression, you're much less likely to seek help without outside influence because you feel you deserve to feel like s**t because your a s****y friend/partner/parent/whatever. In saying that YOU are the only person that can help you in the end. You have to go to your appointments (change therapist if you don't like them, and you don't like anyone atm), take your meds and put on a brave face. So much easier said than done
#63
Casual consensual safe sex
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
But! Women can’t have sex without emotional attachment!!! /s
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#64
Being comfortable and happy being alone.
#65
Customizing your body the way you want. This includes getting hormone supplements, hormone replacement therapy, birth control implants/IUDs, vasectomies/hysterectomies, tattoos, and any other form of elective implant, cosmetic surgery, etc. As long as you’re provided with—and fully aware of—the risks and side effects, you should be able to have anything you want done, even if other people consider it “ugly” or “detrimental” or “harmful” or “mutilation”, or whatever other negative terms they want to throw at you. Freedom of expression and bodily autonomy are human rights.
V 2 years ago
It is stupidly hard for women to get hysterectomies or tubal ligation in so so so many countries. Even 'progressive' countries.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago (edited)
I suffered from endometriosis horribly for 10 years. My specialist recommended a hysterectomy. I had already had my kids and was done, so I agreed with him and he submitted it to my insurance company, who in turn, denied the claim, stating that it was "elective' Excuse me? So he appealed their decision with a mountain of issues I was having from it. Denied again. So I got really, really angry and wrote a 4 page appeal explaining how much pain I was in, and that I was truly suffering because of it, and they finally approved it. Once I had the surgery, it turned out that there was a lot more going on besides endometriosis and had to have life saving surgery as well. I've felt amazing ever since. It sucks that I had to fight so hard for that, but it made me realize that they were counting on me just taking the first rejection as a final decision. Not this girl. This was in the US.
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JoMeBee 2 years ago
While I agree with this post 100% that everyone should have these rights, I also feel that extreme users of some of these procedures open themselves up to scrutiny This kinda covers two topics though: health/physiology versus body mods. When they have to put it all out there on social media they're kinda looking for attention and not all of it's going to be good...
Must Be Bored Again 2 years ago
They haven't given it a lot of thought, like what everything will look like when they age and their skin gets much thinner and gravity has taken its toll.
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#66
Sticking around through hard times. Sometimes it's not toxic, people are just flailing cause they need help, and if you help you may find a very loyal and worthwhile relationship.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
That's just called being a mate, jerks kick you when your down
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Oh yeah, when your life goes to hell that's when you find out who your real friends are.
Load More Replies... #67
Using “swear” words.
Monday 2 years ago
Ah f*****g c**t of a censor! Ruining all our f*****g fun with their b******t rules!
Load More Replies... Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
I love swearing but you gotta know how to swear, when to swear and who you can swear around. Its an art really
K- THULU 2 years ago
But we Aussies do it pretty well..... Always made me proud when my Vietnamese workmates started swearing, knew they became true Aussies then...
Load More Replies... ForThePeople 2 years ago
Not all of them are swear words. A*s is a kind of donkey, and b***h is a female dog.
#68
Autism
#69
Still living with your parents in your 20's/30's.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
No, let's renormalize proper rental rates so 20 somethings can actually grow up and live as adults.
BenyA. 2 years ago
That's a personal NO for me. My stepmom, although well intentioned, tends to talk at people (talk at, not talk to or with) non stop for hours on end. I think it's anxiety driven. There were times when my friends asked me if i was ok when we met after an entire day spent with her. My dad is a shell of his former self, in small part i believe because of her (but mostly due to his own choices in life, he's a very passive person). I feel guilty for this because I know she's generally good, well meaning person, and I do care for her. But she's one of the most draining people I know, and dad's mental issues has brought the worst in her. If i live with them for just a week, I will have a mental breakdown without exaggeration.
#70
Being ugly
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
I`m not sure what is meant by this one. But if this means not conforming to the accepted norms of what is considered beautiful, then I agree.
BlueEyesWhiteDragon 2 years ago
Beauty and/or youth should never be the standard by which we judge virtue. Sadly, it often is. And for women, not being considered pretty or beautiful can overshadow everything else about you: personality, intelligence, skill. Ugly is the insult that never dies and the prejudice that everyone feels comfortable expressing.
#72
Sex work Universal basic income Recreational drug use
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
I just want to try something that might help my illness and anxiety! But people whine that it's "bad" - well, why can I kill myself by drinking, smoking regular cigarrettes or eating then?
Viper Dogfish 2 years ago
Yes! Nothing wrong with sex work. Nothing wrong with the other two too. What's wrong is the dumb f***s that whine about these things.
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I'll be honest, I've heard that pot does wonders for anxiety but some people might freak out worse. I kinda wanna see what it would do to me and see if it can get my brain to chill for a little while.
Miki 2 years ago
I am all in for all drugs. Its natural selection. Idiots will basicsli kill themselves :D (but it must my paired with extremely expensive healthcare for drug users.)
TheDag 2 years ago
I liked the first part but the second part fell down pretty quickly. That means over 95% of the population will essentially be paying expensive healthcare because whether you like it or not a massive part of the worlds population has a recreational drug use they either do or don't realise
Load More Replies... #73
Psychedelics
LillieMean 2 years ago
There is a lot of researched information about this and research is being done on test subjects even at the moment. Psychedelics combined with therapy have given good results in the treatment of many mental health problems. For example, drug resistance depression and traumatic stress symptom disorder. According to studies, mushrooms help alcoholics recover. Certain forms of epilepsy remain under control, as does Horton's headache. psychedelics have relieved the fear of death in terminally ill patients. psychedelics have been needlessly demonized. I'm not saying that they are suitable for everyone and you shouldn't take them alone but in the company of someone who is clear-headed. Because they are illegal there are many risk factors.
Tess 2 years ago
Australia is finally legalising prescription mdma, and psilocybin, later this year for PTSD, and treatment resistant depression. Not sure how hard they will be to access for those that really need it. Or how much it would cost. But it's not something that I had ever thought that I would see in my lifetime.
Load More Replies... IamMe 2 years ago
I have PTSD, and I can say 100%, mushrooms absolutely help. I feel so much better for like a month after eating some. Unfortunately, they're not only illegal, they're very hard to find. So, I rarely get the benefit. Doctor drugs do absolutely nothing, or make my symptoms even worse.
Fabian Bernard 2 years ago
It's a matter of maturity and personnal situation and the way of dealing the use of them and the aftermaths. Taking LSD at 40 on a safe environment for yourself and others before switching back to your ''normal'' life, yes. Being high AF at 19 without a way to deal a badtrip and not having a nice place, food etc for the After, no
TheDag 2 years ago
Honestly I fully believe at least one experience with psychedelics per year can help the mind so much ( This is person dependant and on the premise that psychedelics should never be taken lightly) Often after a good trip out in nature my mind feels far more balanced focused and positive
Tess 2 years ago
Incredibly fun, especially when you're able to be around nature. Even if it is only limited to your own backyard. Being able to feel the energy from plants, and being able to know if they're healthy, or need water. Being shown by a several hundred year old gumtree what it's experienced over that time. How it felt to be a gumtree in the middle of a bushfire, in a time before the land was destroyed by farms, and houses. Plus, it's not an hallucination if someone else was shown the exact same thing, and it was not discussed in any way whatsoever in between.
Load More Replies... #74
Zipper merging on the highway
smugdruggler 2 years ago
It's where everyone that's already on the main road lets one car from the slip road in. Traffic then merges more easily and everyone gets where they're going more quickly. If you think about the view from above, the cars merge like a zipper closing.
Load More Replies... #75
Sex before marriage.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago (edited)
Why do I have to get married to my partner of 10yrs to whom I have 2 beautiful girls? Isn't marriage about making your partnership ok with God? By that rational and thebfact i dont believe in Magic Sky Daddy so why should i have to get married?
Dilly Millandry 2 years ago
In some countries it comes with added benefits - taxes and other legal bits and bobs. That is gradually changing and shouldn't be a reason to marry, of course, but it can make it easier for some people in certain situations.
Load More Replies... Rod McCabe 2 years ago
Ummm... well... what if it turns out you're not compatible? Need to check first.
#76
Having unpopular opinions
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
eg "Lord of the Rings is overrated!" versus "X group of people should be rounded up and shot".
Load More Replies... Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Unless your "opinion" is that a subset of people don't deserve to exist because you see them as subhuman lessers to your "great" self...
#77
Low grades in school. We equate it too much to intelligence. And this is coming from a teacher who got straight A’s I advanced classes. I can comfortably say my brightest students sometimes had the lowest grades.
Pixie 2 years ago (edited)
There's also the part that not *everyone* could have the higher grades cause they're there to show the spread/variance of skill at a subject, we need to know who are the best at maths, for example to show who will be most suitable for further education or a career needing great skill in maths. I hope that made sense, it's a bit hard to put into words!
David Paterson 2 years ago
It took me a long time to learn that intelligent is not the opposite of stupid. And that neither is measured by school grades.
#78
Being vulnerable. Swallowing your feelings/not talking about them is not healthy at all and many still think that's something people should always do.
#79
Putting yourself first
#80
Divorce
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Ehhh yes and no. There are relationships that can’t work. Shouldn’t work. But, sometimes people really are just to blasé about it. I know people who keep getting married and divorced and just shrug it off. Ok, why keep getting married if you’re just going to get divorced? That’s what dating is for!
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
My Aunt Shawna was like that. 10 husbands, 7 kids over 40 years. My hubby has a cousin like this too. 9 kids, on hubby #7. We just don't get it. Just be single, it's fine! We already know you don't know whose dad is whose. It's fine.
Load More Replies... #81
Nuclear Energy, it’s just steam. Coal generator plants produce more radiation than nuclear ironically.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
But that doesn’t happen as often as people think, and the problem comes from the cover ups.
Load More Replies... #82
Anything that goes against capitalism...
#83
Failing on tests and exams. Failing is natural and its part of the process.
Rod McCabe 2 years ago
It is possible to make no mistakes & still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. --- Picard to Data episode S2E21, Peak Performance (July 10,1989)
#84
Short people
zovjraar me 2 years ago
wtf... what's wrong with short people??? i had guys playing "catch" with me in highschool. like, i was the "ball". also got carded until i got grey hair. being short is awesome. except at grocery stores. and in my kitchen where i can only reach the bottom shelves of the top cupboards. but otherwise great!
zovjraar me 2 years ago
forgot to add, i married a guy 2 ft taller than me. so he can reach the stuff that i can't.
Load More Replies... #85
In America, still living with your parents in your later 20s or into your 30s. If you are working hard and helping out a dent in a few bills, I don't see the issue.
Susan 2 years ago
If that younger person is contributing to the well being of the parents they live with then it is mutually beneficial to everyone involved. I think the stigma is more about the kids who never try to make anything of themselves and just live off their parents for free and contribute nothing.
#86
MSG.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
It is proven to be bad for the metabolism, causing overeating and development of addiction to it. If you consume MSG on a daily basis, nothing else taste good at some point. It just makes want more and more, it's self explanatory why it's not ok.
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
Actually, no, there have been no conclusive studies linking msg to overeating. It's become a bug bear for the orthorexic.
Load More Replies... Legendbird 2 years ago
Do you get migraines from pizza then? That contains MSG, you are "sick from it" because of the placebo effect.
Load More Replies... #87
Pirating eTextbooks.
#88
Socialism
#91
Guys wearing skirts or dresses
David Paterson 2 years ago
It's not higher because this topic is about common things, not rare things.
Load More Replies... #92
The real affects of sugar and fat Way back when, there was some scientist that discovered the devastating affects of sugar, and he tried to pitch it out. Then the sugar industry hired a more well known scientist to pitch that fat was the issue that was causing a severe increase in heart disease in the US. The sugar industry also paid the government and even managed to change legislation and food guides of what americans should eat. They really downplayed fhe affects of sugar so that they would keep making money. Interestingly the rate of heart disease skyrocketed after the sugar industry did this. Today, we know a lot more about the affects of sugar but still uplay fat far too much.
Alex Bailey 2 years ago
Yes but not quite... "detailed in Science, our own examination of the historical events in question shows this alluring tale of industry meddling is based on a highly selective and profoundly flawed interpretation of the history. The long-deceased Mad Men–era Harvard scientists who stand accused of having been “paid off” to “shift the blame” to fat were, in fact, already on record in support of low-fat diets as a way to fight heart disease for nearly a decade before the sugar men came calling. In adopting this stance they were in sync with the dominant nutritional paradigm of the era".
Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
"He believed in something wrong for more than a decade before the sugar corporations helped him promote his wrong beliefs and thus people fell for it at the time." Isn't a very good take.
Load More Replies... Cassi Lyris 2 years ago
The reality is that we Americans eat far too much sugar AND fat, which are BOTH the problem.
#94
Sex work
Viper Dogfish 2 years ago
Because society sucks and needs to be rebuilt in a better way. There's nothing wrong with sex work at all.
Load More Replies... Legendbird 2 years ago
Yeah. To quote a tweet, if you are just doing it for free, you're just a non-profit w**reganasation.
#96
Communism. Collective ownership of the means of production and shifting the economy toward collective good would do so much for people's lives but years of cold war propaganda has shifted the narrative to communism bad. In the US we can only choose between two corporate parties now and there is no real left. Yayyy
DebB 2 years ago
Communism as a concept is okay but it never works in reality. Socialism, however, has worked in some places
Mir Adwari 2 years ago
No one system really works that well on its own, the ones that work the best are mixed eg socialised democracies. Communism also seems to be massively attractive to dictators and ceases to be genuinely communist at that point, no matter what a government may call itself.
Load More Replies... Annik Perrot 2 years ago
Would only work if everyone played the game honestly, but since some greedy as**oles will always want to be *more equal than the others*, I can't see how it would ever work. A socialized democracy, however, with safety nets for every one and lots of checks and balances, has proven that it could work... if it isn't demonized and fought at every corner by "every man for himself" capitalisme.
Premislaus de Colo 2 years ago
As someone who got first-hand taste of communism - no. It's an oppresive utopia that harms people
Johnnynatfan 2 years ago
No thanks to communism. It is bad and never actually helps the working class. Im not suggesting that things in the States are all that great either but communism is not the answer.
#97
Zipper merge!
#98
The LGBTQ community lol
JoMeBee 2 years ago (edited)
Why "lol"?? Pretty sure the marginalized and persecuted thousands (millions?) don't think it's lol...
Johnnynatfan 2 years ago
why use lol in anything? Its stupid and doesn't make sense. Are people actually "Laughing out loud" when they use lol? Most likely not.
Load More Replies... #99
MSG. It is delicious, low-calorie, and relatively easy to acquire. It got a bad rap from a racist a long time ago and has had trouble shaking off the bad PR.
#100
Being conservative
Johnnynatfan 2 years ago
Being conservative is fine. Its when you're an a*****e to non conservatives and try to force your way of life on people is the problem. Conservatives think they are the arbiter of what society should look like. Mind your damn business and leave people who are different than you alone.
What do you think ?
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Snorky The Pig 2 years ago (edited)
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies... Sky Render 2 years ago
Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Tessie Hickey 2 years ago
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
Justice Equality 2 years ago (edited)
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Dianellian 2 years ago
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
Devin Singh 2 years ago
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
I think someone there at BP needs to curate these lists a little better and remove repeats.
Snorky The Pig 2 years ago (edited)
Introversion, Having children before marriage (a big no-no in my area) Being short, Being average weight, not stick thin, Living alone, Veganism, Religion, Age gaps in relationships (within reason) literally ANYTHING in the world as long as 1) you are not hurting anyone, and 2) you are not pushing your beliefs unto others.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
Age gaps really, really depends. You can't say 'anything over 20 is bad'- what if a 70 year old and a 90 year old are dating for the first time? You also can't say that anything under, say, 5 years, is alright, because what if a 14 year old and an 18 yea rold were dating? That's creepy as f**k. It's about maturity level, not just age. The older you get, the bigger gaps can be without getting creepy. 50 and 60 is fine, but 15 and 25 is a problem
Load More Replies... Sky Render 2 years ago
Also not bad but needlessly villainized: rejecting your assigned gender from birth, being open about having been born intersex.
Tessie Hickey 2 years ago
Good points!! Except cultural appropriation isn’t what you think it is! It’s when people of the majority use culture of a minority to profit or gain where someone from the minority culture would have been oppressed.
Justice Equality 2 years ago (edited)
I love the article, I just wish you would pay for someone to proofread and edit. Or add this to your list of now acceptable things, "misspellings and grammatical errors are now acceptable in articles."
Dianellian 2 years ago
Being petty or spiteful. It’s been glamorised lately and applauded. You frequently see it on BP and other social media.
Devin Singh 2 years ago
I thought this was gonna be real stuff. I came in here expecting American Cheese and Nickelback. But instead I freaking got platitudes.
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