Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
50 Moments In Which Women Realized They Wouldn’t Be Marrying Their Partner
Interview With Expert
In relationships, there’s always the possibility that you’re looking at your partner through rose-colored glasses. Affection, chemistry, and attractive physical attributes of your significant other can sometimes make you blind to their flaws that could be deal-breakers in the long run. So how can you know for sure that the person you’re with is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?
While there’s no definitive answer to this question, women in this thread recently discussed some things that, according to them, should be relationship red flags. Scroll down to find them, and make sure to upvote those that, in your eyes, don’t fit the marriage material definition.
While you're at it, don't forget to check out a conversation with relationship experts Emily Marriott, LMHC, LPC, and Dr. Deb Castaldo, who kindly agreed to share the marriage non-negotiables from an expert point of view.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Told me he wanted to make sure we looked good for engagement photos so he didn’t want to propose till I lost 50-80lbs. Since ya know, we’ll remember that day forever. Why wouldn’t you want to look “good” right?
Shortly after I lost 210lbs of dead weight and then my own 80lbs
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
That’s the way to do it !! when asked that , the reply is ALWAYS THE DOORS >>>>>> thata way don’t slam it on the way out !!
RELATED:
#2
We were 2 months into dating and we were at the local bar.. I was getting up to go to the toilet and he was talking to his friend.. he casually put his hand on my shoulder pushing me back into my seat asking "Where are you going, Im talking." I went to the toilet, paid my bill and left.
Password 8 months ago (edited)
Dork? Dank? Dark? D**k? BP, what is this word.
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Excuse you a*****e ! Andrew Tate vibes much 🤬, any idea if he’s still single lol cos eugh he’s vile !
Btsquestrian 8 months ago
Hi, Crystal! How are you doing? I'm always happy to see your comments
Load More Replies...
Luigi Mariani 8 months ago
You were lucky he did not stalk you back into submission - or rather, what he thought would be submission
Btsquestrian 8 months ago
He wasn't talking to her. He was talking to someone else. He expected her to just sit there anyway
Load More Replies...
Betsy S 8 months ago
He was speaking to the other person at the table. He was not speaking directly to her, so leaving the table at that point was entirely appropriate.
Load More Replies... #3
After we moved in together he always pushed my cats away. They loved him and are lap cats. He immediately stopped letting them sit on his lap. I knew then it would never be serious. We're a package deal. To love me is to love them
PurrfectLife 8 months ago
I wouldn't have think twice about dumping a jerk who didn't want my two cats around.
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
I had a 90-lb German Shepherd and a cat (who were best friends) when my ex and I met. He had not grown up with animals, did not like animals, and was allergic to dogs and cats. I told him my pets and I were a package deal. 24 years later, things didn't work out for MANY reasons, but he HAS learned to love animals and how wonderful it is to have animals love you. I allowed him to keep our tuxedo boy, Preacher, because Preacher adores him. I wouldn't trust anyone - even a friend - who pushed my cats or dogs away. If you dislike animals or have a fear/phobia, that's one thing - but we would likely only be casual friends/etc. because my pets are my family. preachyrea...d34989.jpg 
White Sauce Hot Sauce 8 months ago
This bozo had the Seal of Approval from someone's pets and he had to screw it up.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Me or your pets hmm 🤔doors >>>>>>>>> thata way don’t slam it on the way out !
Earonn - 8 months ago
I don't even love cats but my SO wanted one when we moved in together. We separated, he left the cat behind, and little Tattie now has her nice, warm, safe home with me. I'm still not a cat person but why would I reject a little fluffy animal's love? (Even if it comes with occasional puking on the carpet)
The decision to marry someone shouldn't be taken lightly. Even when a person is sure they want to spend the rest of their life with someone, there are things they should consider before diving into a lifelong commitment.
"Couples should consider their 'non-negotiables,' aka the things that they feel like they don't have wiggle room or flexibility around when it comes to their future partner or future relationship. A lot of these items reflect that person's values," says relationship expert Emily Marriott, LMHC, LPC.
Some examples include:
- Do they want children? If so, what timeline do they have in mind? What are their stances on women's access to healthcare regarding pregnancy? Are they open to adoption or IVF if becoming pregnant poses dangers/difficulties? How do they feel about childcare options? What do they imagine is their future parenting style?
- What's their narrative or relationship with finances and spending?
- What's their stance on divorce?
- What does being married mean/represent to them?
- What do they want to happen if a family member/parent falls ill and needs support?
#4
When I asked him why he treated others better than me and he said “because I know you won’t leave” without pause.
Dread Pirate Roberts 8 months ago
Lol oh, really? What makes you so sure? I hope OP dropped this guy like a t**d in the toilet.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
My mother's parents always taught us to treat our servants better than our relatives because servants could quit.
Nina 8 months ago
Surprise to them, you can cut off s****y family as well 😁
Load More Replies...
#5
He took a knife and cut part of my dogs nose. I was out at the time so I couldn't prove it was him bc he said my dog scratched up his own nose. A week later at night I woke to him trying to strangle my dog and I jumped him, shoved him outside my home and called his uncle to pick him up. That's was it for us. Nobody hurts my boy
Dread Pirate Roberts 8 months ago
That f****r would be buried in the woods somewhere if he hurt my dogs.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
I’d have being a farm born n bred lass still in the sticks , have fed him to some pigs ! No trail then , n animal karma with it
Load More Replies...
Tamra 8 months ago
I would lose my g*d**n mind if anyone hurt my pets. A full-on head spinning around, call the exorcist moment.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
No forget the exorcist bit ! hand me the meat grinder n some pigs ! Cos hurt my dogs u ain’t gonna live much longer !
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 8 months ago
WOW. Thank god she found out he was a psycho before they had kids. I hate to think what he'd do to a child.
#6
He said, “That’s women’s work,” when I asked him to help with the dishes. Instant disqualification.
Janelle Collard 8 months ago (edited)
Right??? Like, "babysitting" your own kids! It's called "parenting," you mindless whack-a-mole!
Load More Replies...
Alexia 8 months ago (edited)
Well, it's not women's work - unless you need a va*gina to do it.
Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
I've noticed that any task classified as "women's work" is always one that actually accomplishes something.
K Barnes 8 months ago
I started to boycott helping with dishes after extended family meals because only the females were asked to help and never the males. I said I would start again as soon as the males started, even once. It did not go over well but I stand by it. Two of my cousins are good eggs and did start to help!!
SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago
I'll happily do the dishes, if you can think of the dishes we'll be having before that. Pretty sure no one wants Champ (Poundies) for every meal XP
Prudence Putnam 8 months ago
Dump him. I ‘m clean up skivey. But then he shops and cooks. ….so I dont mind.
"Having all of these conversations upfront helps establish a strong base moving forward so that when these life things come up, they've already been discussed—obviously leaving room for things to change over time and with varying circumstances," Marriott further explains.
Relationship expert Dr. Deb Castaldo agrees it's critical that couples have an open conversation about compatibility for the long term of marriage and adds these points to consider:
- Do you have the same overall values about life?
- Have you discussed religious/spiritual beliefs?
- Have you both observed and talked about each partner's health, mental health, financial habits, and family relationships?
- What are your life goals and dreams, and do they mostly match each other?
- Have you been open about your needs for intimacy, both sexual and non-sexual (affection)?
- How satisfied are you with your communication?
- How satisfied are you with how you solve conflicts and differences as a couple?
#7
I asked him to help me build my new bedframe and he said no, but that he could come over and watch me do it then lay in bed with me after. He's never been in that bed.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
He wanted to participate in the quality checking. So the OP did a little of her own.
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 8 months ago
I built my bed while recovering from surgery. It was not fun
Gayle Owens 6 months ago
Send him a photo of you and (friend) grinning from ear to ear on the bed.
Caring Panda 7 months ago
He very quickly put my bed back together when I moved back home. The dressing table still needs the mirror attached. Yeah, he's long gone!
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
They two sides slide together and then you tighten a screw by hand. On a related issue: have you heard of YouTube?
Load More Replies...
#8
Told me I should sell my assets to buy a new house that would house us (and his adult unemployed son), and for me to give up work so I could also be their carers. Can't make this s**t up.
SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago
Um, yeah... How 'bout NO! And don't let the door hit you and your freeloading offspring on the way out. SMH...!!!
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 8 months ago
This is pure genius - you don't have to pay for a personal sl*ve, you get the them to pay for your house to gain the high honour of waiting on you hand and foot. What's not to like?
#9
He seriously complained that I couldn’t carry the furniture as well as he did.
Excuse me — you’re bigger, taller, and clearly stronger? That moment cracked something open. Suddenly, all the other red flags I’d ignored came flooding in. The disqualification began.
Chrissy Mead 1 week ago
My ex expected me to do all the heavy lifting. Even very heavy lumber. At one point he helped me carry a large timber. He was whining that I was complaining too much about its weight. When he finally helped me carry it, he sounded so surprise, "Oh wow, this IS heavy." he then proceeded to watch me drop it on my foot. I honestly thought I'd broken a bone.
Laura A Ivett 7 months ago
I'm just going to say, when you choose to ignore red flags that's on you
However, if a partner exhibits signs of poor physical and mental health care, unstable emotional health, addictions to substances, or has a poor relationship and financial history, these are bright red flags that shouldn't be ignored, says Dr. Castaldo. "Most importantly, is the person willing to grow and change and let you, as the partner, change them as well?"
"[A red flag] is when that person is more focused on what a partner has to offer to them instead of what they have to offer to their partner—focused on their gains instead of what they're willing to give or what they can co-create with their partner, both in and out of the relationship," adds Marriott.
#10
Gay men aren't immune to terrible behavior either. I loaded the dishwasher Sunday night and flew out early Monday morning on a business trip.
When I got back Friday evening, the dishwasher still hadn't been emptied (garbage can was also full) and his new dirty dishes were just in the sink.
Snapped out of my feelings for him immediately.
Panda McPandaface 8 months ago
Well, not in this case, but I see your point.
Load More Replies...
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
Some people are wonderful, some people are garbage, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or any other differences, genetic or cultural.
K Barnes 8 months ago
I'm a teacher so I'm off for most of the summer and take over 90% of the household stuff for those 2 months. My partner gets so D**N lazy during that time even though he's great the rest of the year. He starts leaving dishes on the counter or table instead of putting them in the dishwasher and I refuse to do it for him. Drives me nuts. Putting your dish in the dishwasher takes no effort!
#11
He said "I see women as second creatures after men" I was shocked
DeeDee M 8 months ago
Truly?? I regret to say, hearing this s**t barely makes a dent on my shock-o-meter these days…
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
Yup. Barely moved the needle past 1 on mine.
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 8 months ago
Wow, so to him, we're not just lesser than men, but we're creatures? Apparently, he doesn't even see women as human beings
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
I mean, I AM literally a wolf, but... lemme check... yep! Still a woman! XD wimmin1-67...657c07.jpg 
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Well, if he's talking about arrogance, cruelty, entitlement and self-delusion, men do edge out women by more than a little.
kissmychakram 8 months ago
He should learn that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality and find himself one of the first class creatures to share his life with - why settle for second best? /s
#12
When he asked why I was being over dramatic about my periods. He said others have it too and why can't I sacrifice a bit. I have endometriosis :) and at that moment I just thought of how he would behave if I was pregnant, and I guess that was a good reason to leave him.
KatyDidIt 8 months ago
Endo-suffering sister here - if he can’t empathize, then he can walk on out the door. No need to have pain internally and externally. Like all afflictions/conditions/what-have-you, everyone has it to differing degrees. You deserve some a partner who isn’t going to knock you down with assumed comparisons.
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
Same here, member of this club no woman wants in lol My husband knows there's at least a week and a half where I'm just out of commission suffering and he plans accordingly while taking care of me.
Load More Replies... SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago (edited)
I just learned about endo a few years back (late, I know). Yowch, sorry for you, all sis suffering T_T
Dread Pirate Roberts 8 months ago
What a buttwaffle. He should have to walk around with needles in his junk for 5 to 7 days.
Gayle Owens 6 months ago
Kick him in the balls every 5 min for several days till he gets the point
Paula Glasscoe 1 week ago
That might give him brain damag…….. oh, too late!
Load More Replies...
detective miller's hat 8 months ago
I just do not understand people like this. How is that your reaction to someone IN PAIN?? When I was at uni, I lived with 3 guys, and the first time they witnessed me basically bedridden for 2 days because of period pain, they were falling all over themselves trying to make sure I had everything I needed, whatever they cold do to make me feel just a little bit better.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Blame the parents ! they didn’t teach him manners n respect for women ! I’m 60 , n have two kids a girl 24 lad 21 n I made sure my lad as well as the lass knew about all of that stuff n in lads case to respect women at all costs they knew what id lived thru since i was 18 n how bad i was each mth , clearly his parents totally treated him like. Golden child n didn’t teach him squat 🤬
Earonn - 8 months ago
That excuse ends after they reach the age of 20. By then people can make up for whatever their parents failed to teach them. If guys manage to find p**n online, then they also can find some websites about women's internal anatomy.
Load More Replies... Bluonthefront 5 months ago
Hook that a****t up to a cramp simulator, put it on 10, restrain him and leave him for a week. Unattended.
Liz Mary 8 months ago
Wait until he finds someone with PMDD! Not only did I have awful periods but my rage during my periods when I was in my 20s,was something else. Luckily, the moods swings got better as my body adjusted to the hormone levels (pill helped). The crippling period pain only got better in my 40s.
But as we all know, no one is perfect, as cliché as it might sound. "If someone is a good person and has mostly good qualities, you have probably made a good choice," says Dr. Castaldo.
"The basics to look for: someone who is a good friend and companion with you, who is willing to communicate even when differences are problematic, whose care, concern, and support are consistent, and who values the bond of affection. These are the qualities that will give you a great chance at being fulfilled in love for a lifetime."
#13
When he told me he “picked” the other woman bc she can help make his dreams come true & I can’t. Right now, she’s paying all the bills. Seems he was looking for a provider too & I’ll drink the ocean thru a straw before I ever fully fund a man’s life.
SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago
DON'T! A real man will find a way to build and fund a life with you.
Mike F 8 months ago (edited)
It's not up to ANYONE to fund someone else's life. If they're not up to the task of pulling their 50% it's time to press on. There are times when one is down but to expect someone to "keep" someone else? That's pr0stitution. D@mn, we're gonna have to to learn a whole new language soon.
Load More Replies...
Vinnie 8 months ago
Wow. What kind of return on her investment is the other woman getting? She could go to a bar and get laid for free.
Magenta Blu 8 months ago
Maybe that the price some women have to pay to have some kind of relationship, since men are never wanting to commit themselves into anything, because they also worry about their "investment's return". Modern relationships are only business to keep only if convenient, so, what's to wonder about? She pays for her happiness. And he agrees on the trade. So what's wrong?
Load More Replies...
BigCityLady 8 months ago
I guess the quote that there is a fool born every 5 minutes it certainly true, especially any woman agreeing to willingly this man to be a leech. Jokes on her though as I can say this with confidence that this leech will offer zero contributions in the home as well.
#14
We went to the movies and I accidentally dropped a candy wrapper. When I was in the process of bending down to pick it up, he stops me and says “leave it. someone gets paid to do that.”
Absolutely not.
(I picked up the wrapper and threw it away btw.)
Ellinor 8 months ago
Even if cleaning people are paid to clean, it's still basic decency to clean after yourself.
dd4nygvvcg 8 months ago
I was at the movie theater yesterday and got a fountain drink from the concession stand. What did I do with my cup afterwards? I took it with me and threw it in the garbage. After that, I went out for dinner. I spilled some of my drink on the counter. I wiped it up myself.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 8 months ago
A janitor who worked at a fancy private school told me some of those kids were so entitled that they'd litter on purpose. When he pulled one of them up on it, pointing out that there was a garbage bin right there, the brat sneered "that's YOUR job". This school supplies my country with a LOT of its future politicians and business leaders, so that just says it all, doesn't it?
Dread Pirate Roberts 8 months ago (edited)
Yeah, no need to make their job more tedious. Good on OP for being considerate. I bet her date is the kind of d****e that leaves carts in parking spaces instead of returning them to the corral.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
They are paid to clean YES , but not after entitled lazy pos like him ! ie hoover dust n the like , glad u dumped his vile a*s
Saeyoul Akiyune 5 months ago
It crushes me to see how bad and horribly messy people can be after finishing a movie and seeing buckets of popcorn and candy wrapped and such on the ground...The cleaning staff want to go home too
#15
They called my hobbies/side hustle "your little arts and crafts thing"
I spin and knit very intricate, very delicate lace. I teach others to spin and weave, sew, etc. I teach/preserve/decolonize history of """women's work"""
I used to make wedding gowns, now I only do alterations for special people.
This s**t is my entire personality.
Their pettiness when called out on their (very real, reckless, disregarding, actual health hazardous) behavior was the final straw
(My current project)
Richienotsorich 7 months ago
Probably a random related pic from the Internet and nothing to do with the post.
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
My ex belittled and criticized my art. It disheartened me so badly that I stopped drawing for 10 years. I'm just finally starting to get back into it and I'm having to re-learn all the ability/talent/skills I used to have. I was never going to be some amazing pro artist or even someone who could sell commissions, but I LOVED drawing. I've attached one of my more recent art marker drawings of a cozy autumn-themed dragon :) cozy_autum...5ea6cd.jpg 
DeeDee M 8 months ago
Lace making is incredible. A true almost lost art. I think you’re amazing!!🤩
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I agree, and am delighted to hear there are still people doing it! I only ever see it on wedding and funeral wear anymore. 😕 When I was a kid, it was *everywhere*, though it was denigrated as being for “grannies. Hey: can someone help me with “I … decolonize history”? I can’t for the life of me work out what “decolonize” was before autocorrect got its mitts in there. It’s gonna drive me mad! I’m hoping someone else arrived at the right word and can clue me in before my brain explodes. Thanks! 😘
Load More Replies... SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago
Lacework and weaving are helluva great skills to have. I wish I could try them but my clumsy hands would probably wreck anything that is more intrinsic than Gundam/Tamiya models.
Cindy Brick 6 months ago
This sounds like my MIL, now deceased...I wrote books about quilting, taught, judged and appraised nationally. But she called it my "little hobby."
If a person lacks marriage material qualities, partners shouldn't try to 'change' them, as they should be voluntarily willing to put the work in themselves.
"All too often, people close their eyes to who a person really is. One must usually observe for a few months to a year to discover a person's personality, habits, and potential as a partner or marriage material. It's my opinion that it is a trap to think that you can change someone who is a poor prospect for marriage into "marriage material," Dr. Castaldo says.
"A person needs to want to work on their own growth and development, you can't do it for them! What you see is what you get, so don't romanticize that someone can magically become the perfect God or Goddess."
#16
I felt more alone with him than without him.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Being lonely without a partner is better than being lonely with one because at least you keep your freedoms. And because you aren't constantly reminded that you're lonely.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Yup 100% happier n safer divorced 13 yrs after three awful marriages n me the kids n my dogs put in the sticks in uk pure heaven ! I don’t need a man to define me !
Panda McPandaface 8 months ago
If someone has not experienced this (lucky them) then they will be unable to understand how truly demoralising and distressing this is.
#17
Told me "I'll drain your energy, and you won't be able to stop me." leaving him stopped it pretty quickly tho...
Beak Hookage 8 months ago
Normally they don't tell you ahead of time so they can entrap you first, so this guy was being accidentally rather considerate.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 8 months ago
Yes, and warning the intended victim beforehand. 🙂↕️
Load More Replies...
David Morgan 8 months ago
This could have been a warning not a threat. One of those people who is relentlessly negative and self-doubting. In that case, and I mean this sincerely, that person is not ready for a relationship. They need proper help to change their negative mindset. Once they have, they will be able to find someone that they can be happy with, becuase they can be happy with themselves.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
That was my first thought. The people who do it maliciously don't give prior warning like this. In fact, they'll gaslight you.
Load More Replies... #18
Disrespected my trans friend. Immediate no thank you. Would never marry a bigot.
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
Wise. What if your future kid(s) turn out to be trans or gay? Yeah, a big NOPE.
Prudence Putnam 8 months ago
The disrespect to the LGBT community by the current White House admin is what’s turning me.
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
Lola down here needs to jump into a volcano like all other transphobes
Lastly, she concludes by saying, "It's important to sit with yourself and contemplate what are the deeper qualities that you most desire in a relationship. It's not about how attractive or tall someone is, how funny they are, or how much money they have. Those factors do not contribute to the success of long-term love.
It's also important to think about how you were loved in your growing up, what nurturing did you receive, and what was missing. This is important because it is your blueprint for loving, and you will most likely repeat what you were taught about how to love."
#19
Every time I tried to express how I felt, he’d argue like we were in court, turning it into a debate instead of a conversation. He didn’t try to understand—he tried to win. That’s when I knew he lacked the emotional maturity and communication skills I’d need in a husband.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Oh gods above, my ex is a lawyer. He talks like a lawyer. He debates and "argues" like a lawyer. He's exactly like the person OP is talking about. It's one of the many reasons why he's the ex. He ALWAYS had to be right, because he was always convinced he was right. He always had "facts" and "sources" to back himself up and was completely oblivious to the fact that sometimes, when it comes to feelings, emotions, or more serious things like depress!on and su!cidal ideation, "facts" aren't going to help. "Winning" the conversation isn't going to help.
Emilu 8 months ago
I’m probably not the best to offer my opinion here because I work in law but I also have mental health issues. Facts and sources are all well and good but don’t necessarily take into account that everyone is different; we react to things differently. Law (at least here) is very much “what a reasonable person would think” whereas when it comes to mental health stuff, the person that knows the best might not be legally the most ‘reasonable’. TL;DR: I’m sorry your ex made you feel that way, Lakota. When it comes to how you’re feeling etc, there shouldn’t even be anything to debate. Your ex sounds like a jerk.
Load More Replies... Sudeep Sarkar 6 months ago
Don't dames like to thrash out every little detail? Now when the tables are turned you run?
#20
He was too possessive. He would literally show up at my job if I didn't answer my phone. I am a chef! I literally use both hands at all times! I just couldn't take it.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 8 months ago
Ironically it's this type of controlling person who is most likely to cheat! They need to monitor you *because* they know that they would most certainly cheat.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 8 months ago
If you let someone get away with that kind of c**p, it will escalate, and in the worst ways possible.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Married to a coercive ah like this , so glad you saw it before you married cos in my case he didn’t show it till we got married , 14 yrs of hell before I found the strength to run !
Michael Largey 8 months ago
I used to dash over to where my wife was working if she didn't answer her phone. But that was because she worked alone and had recently suffered a stroke.
#21
"I would only marry you if you iron my Shirts" yeah, but No. "I will only marry a woman that stays at home for 3 years with the child (although my mom is at home, because she doesn't work)" If you want a stay-at-home wife, you should earn enough stay-at-home money, honey.
Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
I never asked her to but my ex- always ironed my shirts. I told her it wasn't necessary but she said it was her little love note. I haven't thought about it in 35 years but now she's getting a text about it. <3
The Starsong Princess 8 months ago
So many of these guys want a tradwife who does all the childcare, cooking and housework but also earns a full time salary. Then they are shocked when women nope out.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
A guy like that should get dumped long before marriage is even a hypothetical.
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
"Let me introduce you to my dry cleaner. They will be happy to lauder + press your shirts."
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
wtf is an iron 😂asking as a 60 yr old woman n mother ! This is what they invented tumble dryers for lol ! He can iron his own bloody shirts I ain’t his mother !
Danish Susanne 8 months ago
Had I ever been in that situation I would have taken my iron and one of his shirts and made sure to burn at least one hole in it.
#22
He told me he couldn't promise me he'd never cheat on me because "you never know what might happen in life." We were already engaged.
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
Hand him his ring, cross the floor, wave bye-bye, and out the door.
David Morgan 8 months ago
"I can't promise you I'll never cut your d**k off while you sleep, because you never know what will happen".
Janelle Collard 8 months ago
I love this one, along with "And you never know when I'll s**t in your mouth while you're sleeping, cuz you never know, right?" (I read that somewhere, prob. on Bored Panda!)
Load More Replies... Danish Susanne 8 months ago
I think he was perhaps correct, but if he didn't even think then, that he would stay true to her, why marry?
Michael Largey 8 months ago
"You never know what might happen in life." ? W-e-l-l, I think I know what happened next.
#23
Constantly referred to my podcast as my “little project” - mind you I was generating thousands of dollars from it
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
Nothing like leveling your partner and destroying your relationship.
V 8 months ago
I make tens of dollars in my small "business" but my husband talks it up any chance he gets. That's why I married him.
Danish Susanne 8 months ago
To refer to your "little project" is in reality belittling you, and has nothing to do with any money earned by it.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Awwww poor ikkle man feeling useless lemme find that violin hmm sorry it’s so tiny I can’t see it n dunno where my glasses are either 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
99% of the time, these men just feel threatened by women who know who they are and what they want.
#24
I actually married this a**. But he told me: “You need therapy.”
Well, the therapist showed me it was him, not me, and we divorced.
BigCityLady 8 months ago
No. No they don’t but it does sound quite possible that you are speaking from experience.
Load More Replies... #25
I asked him not to drive drunk, he blew up with “why don’t you trust me do you not love me” and threatened to k-ll us both by driving into a wall. When I got out of the car he hit me with it on purpose.
Called the police. They did nothing.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
Should have waited until he left the house drunk and then called the cops.
Jac Carr 8 months ago
Great suggestion but it's sad it had to be made just because police still don't take violence against women seriously
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 8 months ago
The cops did nothing about domestic abu2e?! Well knock me down with a feather.
David Morgan 8 months ago
What a genuinely repellent person. "In vino veritas" - they showed you exactly who they really are, and you should believe them.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
In uk the cops will take notice ! N even if at that min they couldn’t do anything which they technically can’t , they will take notice of his reg plate n have him on radar !
#26
said that it was normal for men ti cheat on their pregnant wives because by the time they were 7-8 months pregnant they wouldn’t be attractive anymore. broke up two months later.
Beak Hookage 8 months ago
And hopefully kicked him somewhere painful for good measure.
Load More Replies...
Lisbeth Guz 8 months ago
Well she was pregnant, it's not the easiest time to make big choices in life
Load More Replies... Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
Sadly OP didn't broke up 8-9 months earlier, before getting pregnant from such a t.wat.
#27
Make "jokes" about how he wouldn't cheat on me simply because he didn't want to pay the bills alone. He thought he was funny, I showed him I'm hilarious
#28
He said that I shouldn't be too excited and happy all the time.
And after that, I feel like I don't deserve to be excited and happy at all.
And right now I'm still trying to overcome that feeling. I DEFINITELY deserve to be happy, and I can always be excited about something small in my life.
And F**K HIM for making me lose my spark
Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
How sad for him that all his clouds have no silver linings. That you are able to recognize this for what it is shows that your spark is still there.
Judy Reynolds 8 months ago
What a poetic description - "all his clouds have no silver linings" - love it!!
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
People who say that you shouldn't be too excited and happy all the time are people you won't be too excited and happy to have around.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Coercion totally lived it for way to many yrs till I ran n it is like this , im now 60 been divorced 13 yrs n bloody well staying that way !! Its happier safer n kinder for me my dogs n my kids ,
Anna Drever 8 months ago
That word doesn’t offend me in the slightest so I had to go back and see what I missed. I guess I use said word far too often that’s it’s no biggie to me. 🙂
Load More Replies...
Another Panda 8 months ago
Something like that happened to me. 25 years layer, I never got that spark back. 😢
#29
When adding him to my life doubled the workload
tw 72 8 months ago (edited)
Yeah, that was the first part of the problem. The other part was that I was expected to participate with *his* activities, family and friends - but he didn't have to with mine. It dawned on me that *we* were living *his* life but he had no interest in my life.
#30
He said “ women do too much about their periods and they blame too much on their periods “
Ellinor 8 months ago
As I said in another post : Try having one of your organ shred itself and bleed out of you for 7 days each month during 40 years without being at least a bit moody. With of course the cramps, diarrhea, lower back pain, sore breasts, low energy, acne and bloating. Ah and I forgot the other 3 weeks of hormones and your body working to reconstruct that previously mentioned organ.
tresgatos72 8 months ago
Hook him up to one of those cramp simulators and see how long he lasts before he starts screaming like a bamahee.
SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago
I'm a Man-da and I have seen first-hand what a pain periods are. I've lost sweaters for good causes (bleeding), been screamed at for pretty much zero reason (likely hormones and pain), and when a girl friend told me what kind of cramps she had, I could feel myself involuntarily winching while trying to keep a sympathetic face. And these are just the ones I know. So when periods are mentioned, say no more, sis. Lemme see what I can do.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
We appreciate those who, even though they may not "understand" first-hand, are empathetic and sympathetic :)
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 8 months ago
"And men like you blame too much on women." No period experience, no right to judge.
BrownEyedPanda 8 months ago
"Gee, let me spare you the agony of that monthly annoyance. There's the exit. It works like the entrance, only in reverse."
joseph legatt 8 months ago
I think it was Jeff Foxworthy who said that if men had periods they would never go out or do anything when it was happening.
Susy Hammond 8 months ago
And the expensive cost of periods: hygiene products, lost work compensation, extra laundry (and maybe extra items to buy that can't be saved through laundering), accompanying migraines. Menopause was a day of celebration for me!
Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
Reply "You're right, you know. It's you that's my big problem, not my periods. And you're a pain all month."
#31
Slap me because I used the wrong word infront of his parents. *that was my second language and I didn't know it was a "bad" word. Like I said I was pissed off by something and he slapped me.
Bay Bo 8 months ago
Good for op recognizing. Too many women think 1 slap was just a mistake and won't happen again 😥
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
I used to tell myself "well, at least he doesn't HIT me..." about my ex. I'm not sure I would have left sooner if he HAD slapped me - because I am so habituated to physical abus!veness from my mother/childhood. I know just from my own situation how scary it must be for women who do get physically hit/slapped.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Been a physically abused wife ! now I’m like hit me once GAME OVER , Real men do not hit women ! And decent women do not hit men either come to that ! Unless said man hurts em first then it’s fair game to fight back for your safety !
Nadine Debard 8 months ago
As I can't DM you, I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your recent posts (and I hope I'm not being patronising here), I think you put effort into better communicating and it's showing. And I'm sorry for your backstory, I'm glad you're safe now.
Load More Replies... Emilu 8 months ago (edited)
And what a poor reason. OP didn’t even realise she was potentially being offensive. I… wouldn’t agree by any means, but could maybe sort of kind of not really (not at all ‘cos abusing people isn’t okay, but hopefully y’all get what I mean) get if OP had been deliberately offensive, but ugh.
#32
Told me that if his female friend said she wanted him, he dump me instantly. Go away, creep.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
"Funny you should bring up the subject of dumping someone instantly ..."
#33
When we were in HS I cashed him out for saying he’d be disappointed in his son if he found out the son was gay. When I told him that not accepting his child makes for a bad parent he doubled down and went and asking his, my, and our mutual friends if they’d be disappointed too and trying to justify that. Then got mad when I said I’d never have kids with someone like him let alone stay together. I was told that was a stupid hill to die on, but I’d simple don’t want to be with a bigot.
Ellinor 8 months ago
Remember, if you wouldn't accept your child for being LGBT, then don't have kids at all ! (also apply to neurodivergent children)
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago (edited)
Dam right ! my son came out as bi to me when he was 14 I’m now 60 he’s 21 n my reply was so ! I don’t care if you fall for male or female as long as it’s what you want and you are HAPPY , N safe that’s all us parents should ever ask for ! Them as don’t please don’t have kids n I’d be the same if my 24 yr daughter said it to their happiness is all I want safe happy n them !
Ace 8 months ago
Please, for the love of Dog, is it not possible for you to write the word AND?
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 8 months ago
The way things are turning in my society, discovering that my child was gay would not instill disappointment, but a deep-felt fear.
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I’m guessing you live somewhere similar to Chechnya, where the dictator says “We don’t have gay people here,” but doesn’t finish his sentence, the rest of which is “… because I send squads out to find and execute them.” 😰😰 I’m so, so sorry for people trapped in places like that. I can’t even imagine being hunted down and tortured and killed because of how I was born. Holy c**p. (But every day, we move closer towards that here in the US. I spose I should prepare myself. 😞) Courage, Michael! And hugs!
Load More Replies...
Tara L. 8 months ago
My brother in law, Jon R., was terrified of having his sons turn out gay. He was so insane about it that he wouldn't let him play with anything pink. It was ridiculous the lengths he went to prevent having a gay son, he hated gay men. Jokes on him though, his oldest is gay lol, he's only pretending to accept it because his wife would leave hom if he didn't.
Danish Susanne 8 months ago
That was certainly no stupid hill to die on. The only thing wrong was thinking about having a child with him.
David Morgan 8 months ago
Contrary opinion, and I have a lesbian sister I love very much. The father is not unreasonable to be disappointed in his son if his son turns out to be gay. That is because HIS ideas about the son have been altered or frustrated. He would be equally right to be disappointed if he wanted the son to join the family business but the son wanted to branch out. Where the father is wrong is to say that being gay, or having a different plan for life, is WRONG. Those are the things that the son is/chose for himself, and that's HIS business.
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
It's not his f*****g life to run now is it? I very much hope my kids are their idea of successful and happy and that's literally all I expect from them, that's literally all GOOD parents expect from their kids.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
There is a huge difference in being disappointed with something your child did and being disappointed with who your child is.
Load More Replies... #34
His mum was very rude to me and made me cry. Instead of taking a stand for me , he left the room with the excuse that someone rang the doorbell. What a spineless man. Really taught me a lot.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
"Ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." - John Dunne
Jane Alexander 8 months ago
"You don't marry the man, you marry the whole family" -found out the hard way, but he was worth it.
Apatheist Account2 8 months ago
I heard it said that most men will take their mother's side against their wife, but most women will take their husband's side against their father. I'm not sure if that's still true (or ever was).
#35
Speaking negatively about other women is automatic trash can. If your ex is crazy best believe I think YOU did something to make her that way
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
It happens, that someone's ex was crazy for real. But, when all of them are "crazy", the problem are not the ex-partners.
Sue User 8 months ago
I was telling the friend of a neighbor a story and said " my ex is crazy". Person interrupted and said something similar to the post ( i did something to make him crazy ). Thank god my neighbor popped up with " no , she is right. He is literally crazy. Hospital and everything"
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago
It can be a mistake to call some exes crazy because they don't deserve that excuse.
#36
Made me realize his mother was the woman he was already in love with and that there would be the three of us in the relationship. Final straw is when he yelled at me for not doing a favor for his mother that he asked me to do.
Black Cat 8 months ago
I think this is the fault of the codependent mother, they do everything for their sons and never let them grow up.
Load More Replies... Sue User 8 months ago
So disrespectful. Metal illness is a disease, not a judgement.
Load More Replies... #37
He tried to justify why a woman cheating is worse than when a man cheats
Monica G 8 months ago
My ex was saying that the woman is keeping the house and the family, while the man can do anything. Told me this to my face as I was kicking his narcisisstic a$$ out.
Load More Replies... #38
He really wanted a baby, and I really didn't. Nice guy otherwise, he eventually got his baby.
David Morgan 8 months ago
Why the sarcasm? OP suggests that they just have incompatible life goals. Unless that final sentence means he cheated with someone else instead of the relationship ending and he found a compatible partner who did want a baby.
Load More Replies... #39
At a Thanksgiving that included his mom and a lot of his friends, I noticed that his mom was washing dishes alone. It was clear to me that she could either use an invitation to relax and socialize awhile, or a few friendly helping hands. I mentioned this to him. He brushed it off, saying, "Oh no, she's fine, it makes her feel useful."
BigCityLady 8 months ago
No respect for women or is certain that after a wonderful and delicious meal “ is the woman’s responsibility for every bit cleaning for him and everyone else”. We have come into the 21st century and there are too many men that STILL have this mindset and see it acceptable as well as justifying the lack of any expected contribution.
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
I’m pretty sure this attitude will largely diе off when the next couple of generations diе off, as there’s MUCH less of an attitude about there being “women’s work” and “men’s work.” It’s no longer unusual to hear of dads changing diapers or staying home with the kids all day, and doing at least half the household chores. (I remember when hearing these things was shocking!) I’m sure there’ll be a minority who still lives like this, but it’ll no longer be the expectation. Well, okay; I felt this way for a good long while, but with аssholes like Andrew Tate and his ilk, maybe I’m wrong and it’ll take MUCH longer, or worse, they may cause the pendulum to swing back to where it was. 😰 I’ll be dеad and so won’t know, but with my dying breaths, I’ll hope that things have improved to the point that it’s not a worry anymore.
Load More Replies... Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
We don't keep blaming women for the downfalls of men. His dad should have taught him how to be a good man, which starts at the bare minimum of respecting women.
Load More Replies... Tommy DePaul 1 month ago
Well it depends. My mother wouldn't allow me or my SISTER to help her in the kitchen, especially if she was hosting other relatives.
Andrea Zaccaria 7 months ago
I would respectfully finish out thanksgiving day and then I’d be breaking up with him
Magenta Blu 8 months ago
I'm a women but I don't like any guest doing the dishes, because I didn't invite them to do chores. And some elder women do really feel useful when they are able to do something for their families, because otherwise, they have nothing else to do at all. Specially if they are retired.
Earonn - 8 months ago
And what about retired men? They get to have hobbies. Nobody thinks that "awww, they have nothing else". You might rethink your sexist thought patterns.
Load More Replies...
#40
He was rude to wait staff, especially in a drive-thru. He’d really flip out when they asked him to park so they could bring his food out to him.
The anger issues were SEVERE.
BigCityLady 8 months ago
I am wondering what the lives were of his previous intimate partners as this level of anger issues does not bode well for any potential relationship.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Couldn't tell you how it is for a male partner, but my mother was/still is rude to waitstaff, fast food workers, etc., and was physically abus!ve to me during my childhood. She would also hit, punch, kick, and cut my dad, who never made any attempts to stop her from attacking him (I think he was afraid of her or afraid she'd go after me even more.) So, her anger issues came out as verbal attacks on waitstaff/fast food workers, but escalated to the physical with us, her family.
Load More Replies... Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
Being rude to people serving you as their jobs, in any way, always shows the true colours.
silverfish imperitrix 7 months ago
As someone who always hates when they ask you to go and park, the reason I hate it is threefold: 1. Once you are out of their sight, any sense of urgency to get you your food in a timely manner is gone. 2: I think out of ten times I complied, 8 of those I had to go in anyway to get my food. 3: (And this is the big one) They never tell you to park until after they take your money. There's no way this is not intentional.
#41
I told him I wasn't feeling well and that it was going to delay me coming to see him. He told me "F off, well when are you going to be here"? No "I hope you feel better", no "well we can get together later on if you want to rest for a bit", no "well I can drive down to you if you don't feel like coming up here". None of that. I don't know where these guys learn how to talk to women, I'd really like to know. There's nothing that turns me off more than a complete disregard for my well-being.
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
Stop. Blaming. Victims. A*****e a******s don't come out the gate showing their true colors. They lie and manipulate until they think you're caught in their s****y little webs.
Load More Replies... #42
He never defended me. Humiliated me and when his grandfather said “ a woman’s place is in the kitchen” laughed it off and didn’t say a word. Also cheated multiple times with men and women. Till this day he tells people I beat him up and suffered from DV, when in reality he was the one that chocked me 3x. Definitely one of those people that pretend to be so dreamy in the beginning and then show their true colors once you call them out on their bs.
Daune Tullina 8 months ago
When you're the common demoninator and every extinct is crazy. No, you're the pro lem
Load More Replies... Nobody Special 8 months ago
It's amazing how many abu$!ve people try to claim victim status because we fought back finally...
Donna Peluda 8 months ago
Cheated with men ay woman? What did grandfather have to say about that
#43
One guy I thought I’d marry ( I was young and more naive then) woke me up at 3am to make him a sandwich. I made both of us sandwiches, took them back, he didn’t want mayo- had to remake his sandwiches. When I was done, he left all the crumbs on my bed and drove to his mom’s house.
Jane Alexander 7 months ago
Sounds like he didn't leave All the crumbs, you said one of them drove to his mom s house.
#44
When provided an opportunity to take a task off my busy, stressful plate, he declined because he felt I could do it.
Bay Bo 8 months ago
My hub helped me yesterday, I was cranky n said I was exhausted. He washed n peeled carrots...it's the little things that really make differences
Jac Carr 8 months ago
He's not really "helping you" though, he's just doing stuff around the house he also lives in like a grown up should
Load More Replies...
Nobody Special 8 months ago
Or despite seeing how overwhelmed and stressed you are they add things they want you to do that is easier for them to do but they don't want to. Then they'll get all b******t if you decline because You're supposed to happily do anything and everyone they want you to.
#45
pushed down an entire baby tree that was growing into the path and it snapped in half on a hiking date
Hugh Crawford 8 months ago
Could also to be to keep a trail clear.... Not saying it was good, just saying this one could use context
Lynn Peterman 1 month ago
I broke up with a guy one time because he put his hand through a spider web that the spider was currently making.
Karla Littke 1 month ago
I hate spiders immensely, but that is just being cruel because you can. I had a coworker that would get a can of bug spray or fly swatters out on her smoke break, just looking to k**l bees or other bugs who were just out there living their bug life.
Load More Replies...
Heleen Beckstein 8 months ago
The baby tree was actually a Fig tree which could have provided yummy fruits.
#46
Littered in the street
#47
My 1-month-old son had to see the doctor and wound up having surgery. My fiance wouldn't accompany me because he wanted to go hunting with his dad instead.
Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
Why be interested in someone's health being restored when you can go out and k**l something?
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
It's not clear, the son was his too? Not, that it really matters, but the wording of OP, it gave me the imppression, that the son was not his.
David Morgan 8 months ago
OK, I get what you mean but is it important that it IS his child? It's a child, in distress. Essentially saying "sounds like a you problem" is grossly uncaring.
Load More Replies... #48
Borrowing money and not paying it back
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
I always borrowing just so little sums, what are causing not any sh.itstorm, if not paid back. Like till 50 euros. And even this, very-very rare.
Lady Eowyn 8 months ago
Do you mean lending small amounts to other people? Borrowing is when you get money from other people. I take it English isn't your first language. Don't worry, even people who's first language is English get this wrong.
Load More Replies... #49
being cheap when you can afford it and also even a hint of a temper
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
If you are not living paycheck-to-paycheck, and are in middle-class position, being cheap is so dumb. You won't get to be a millionaire sparing a few bucks here and there. Not saying to spend like there is no tomorrow, but enjoying your life is important.
Sue User 8 months ago
You can be frugal without being cheap. I recently needed a piece if furniture and i really tried to buy used. But people either wanted almost as much as new or it wasnt right, so i bought new. So frugal: try to buy used. Cheap: do without until you can buy used..
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago
Being cheap about some things can be the reason you can afford other things.
(Awkward) Dumpster Fire 8 months ago
HINT OF TEMPER? Come on, nobody's perfect. Marriage is learning how to live and learn together. Nobody's immediately the perfect fit, adjustments need to be made to make both of you happy. (Note that this adjustments should be made on both sides of the relationship).
#50
Stopped dating me. Didn’t make any effort to keep me happy. No flowers, no making me special, nothing.
David Morgan 8 months ago
Does it? Wanting the other person to show signs of caring isn't the same as being a gold-digger or high maintenance. A gift 'just because I thought you'd like it and I like to make you happy' is a nice gesture, and not the same as a gift 'otherwise you'll sulk'.
Load More Replies...
Magenta Blu 8 months ago
Thats completely reciprocating. Both partners should make effort for the other to feel special
#51
We got into a disagreement while visiting his parents. I asked his mom if I could talk to her for some insight advice. She insisted there was no point talking about it because he's their son so they'll always take his side. She said that to me verbatim. When I told him what she said, he agreed with her and said there's nothing wrong with that. Imagine a lifetime of ignoring the facts just to side with blind loyalty. It's just not the culture I was raised with.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Blindness is its own culture, and it knows no ethnic boundaries.
Load More Replies...
#52
O. and I sometimes enjoyed a glass of white wine in the evening. When I went to his place a week later, half the kitchen floor was filled with beer and wine bottles. I said: „This looks like an alcohol problem.“ To which he started to argue and I looked at him, and knew that I could never grow with this man.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Even if they were empty peanut butter jars, mess like that sends a message.
V 8 months ago
I used to be a total lush, yet I have called it off with someone because they drank too much even by my standards. And they had no interest on doing anything else.
Tommy DePaul 1 month ago
I'd call it off because he didn't take out his empties. Duh.
Load More Replies... #53
He said his "crazy ex" of 2yrs just got up and left one day, leaving him shattered. He didn't know why. I believed him and fell for the nice guy act. Until he admitted he was glad she left cus he was unhappy for some time and couldn't break up with her (red flag). After being with him for so long, I understand exactly why she left. One of the reasons being his ability to minimize and dismiss anything that goes against his perception of himself. No matter the severity. He's always the victim.
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
Yeah, never taking responsability of your actions is a so huge red flag. like China.
#54
He casually brought me into his disgusting pig sty of an apartment (there was no sheet on the bed - just bare mattress and comforter, the bathroom was so filthy I held my breath while I peed, dirty dishes and trash everywhere) and acted as if that was totally normal.
Unkeptwoman 8 months ago
My son. Wouldn't clean before I came to stay (I live in another country). I'd spend the first week cleaning. Decided I like to vacation without housework. Stopped visiting after he couldn't see what the problem was.
#55
He was devoted to ducking accountability. He believed he was "a nice guy" so he deflected any feedback that went against the narrative he wanted to embody. He hated anything that fell outside of his scope of practice. He'd just apologize by stressing how he's doing his best and how he wants to work on things.. but have no real plans or effort towards progress or change.
Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
A few years ago a male friend said, "That's because you're a nice guy." I don't remember what it was in reference to and though I strive to be one, I was still surprised. It's a very nice memory.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago
"Nice guy" is meaningful only if said the second or third person, never the first. And beware if they say "I'm trying to be a nice guy" because trying isn't enough (and they aren't, anyway).
#56
When we hadn't spoken in months. I said I wanted a divorce. He told his cousin 'I know what she wants. She just wants little attention'. The cousin asked then why not give her what she wants? I knew it was over. That person hated me.
#57
Purposely misunderstanding me. & thinking trolling is funny.
And I’m not one too match energy I’m just👐🏽 you got it
#58
My ex got drunk at a friend's party and told the group that if I was pregnant, he'd want "that s**t" aborted. Then gaslit me by claiming he didn't say that.
#59
He said he wanted to wait (for kids, marriage, buying a house etc) until I was mentally stable. Like dude I have bipolar. I was never gonna be stable enough for him. He never wanted to commit to me. Pretty sure it was an excuse.
Ellinor 8 months ago
My aunt is bipolar and even if she's a sh!tty aunt, she's a really good mother.
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
I would never date a bipolar person. I have 2 bipolar friends, and I know the struggle. But handling their condition 24/7 for years, is a NOPE for me.
Tommy DePaul 1 month ago
I'm a retired LCSW child, adolescent, and family therapist. I would never date someone who suffered from Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. No thanks. Drama belongs in a theater.
#60
Struggle with mental health, but instead of going to therapy after months of urging, kept trying to use me as a free therapist. I don’t do free labor and I don’t do dudes seeing therapy as weak.
Mental health is serious. Sometimes life is hard. Don’t rely on women struggling in patriarchy and this presidential term to carry their own load and yours, too.
#61
Told me “I’m learning to adult” (27yo) when I called him out because he:
-Doesnt clean his appartement (not even toilets), never did since moving in it ( *2 YEARS* ). Pretended he was struggling to do so bc of his mental health
-Did nothing to help his mental health.
-No shower. No deodorant. LONG hair he didn’t take care of, dandruff falling 24/7, never washes his hands/teeth
-Used to tell me iam unhealthily obsessed with hygiene
-Did not expressed love
resented me bc I did not want intimacy
Urbangirlatl 8 months ago
I'm confused why you would give this person a second glance? One sniff and I'd walk the other way.
Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
Didn't want to be intimate with someone who might make her vomit?
David Morgan 8 months ago
I can understand a compassionate person being able ot overlook hygiene issues (in the short term) if they believe they are a result of someone genuinely struggling and trying to improve. Equally, that compassionate person should leave and give their time to someone more worthy when it becomes obvious that the 'mental illness' is a lie to cover laziness.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
And you even gave him the time off day in first place WHY EXACTLY 🤷♀️
#62
For me, it's always the same thing: lack of intellectual/emotional stimulation, meaningful conversations and having plans for a future together. It's always me who has to carry on a meaningful conversation, be the therapist, ask questions about the future. I just end up feeling lonley and exhausted. That's why I don't date anymore, don't see the point in it.
Petra Peitsch 8 months ago
When the partner is on another level intellectually, emiotionally or educationally, will never work out. I know, I'm the outcome of such a relationship.
#63
He’d break promises and never felt the need to apologize.
#64
Last guy courted me by spoiling my cat. I was originally meh about him but he kept coming around and won her over so I trusted him enough to enter a relationship and then eventually let him move in… chat, he actually HATED my cat! (And probably also me? Like why are you even here bro? Get outta my apartment!)
#65
When he would ignore me and leave me to cry after arguments instead of trying to talk and fix things
#66
We went to see Die Hard and I just couldn't handle it. I got up to go and he grabbed my arm. I told him it was too much for me, and his fingers dug into my forearm. He hissed at me to just sit. Unfortunately, I was already pregnant and we had a wedding in the works. The marriage didn't last 2 years.
Strack Attack 3 weeks ago
What do you mean that you couldn't handle Die Hard? Was the violence too much? Or were you experiencing morning sickness?
#67
Only wanted to pursue something with me because he got me pregnant during a summer fling. When I told him he had to date me first, get to know me, and then decide, he was bewildered that I wouldn’t just want a family. He was practically a stranger, because it truly was a fling.
Nadine Debard 8 months ago
A friend of mine got pregnant accidentally this way (c****m broke, summer fling) and she didn't understand she was pregnant until it was too late to consider abortion (I know, she lacked basic knowledge on biology...). She informed the guy and they decided to try and date each other. Happily married with 3 adorable children.
Load More Replies...
#68
Told me "flowers are a waste of money because they die."
Donna Peluda 8 months ago
I bought a GF flowers once and she told me she didn't like them because it had been killed
David Morgan 8 months ago
Personally, I have the same attitude to any sort of 'occasion' card - birthday, get well etc. I have made this clear to friends and family, so they know that I value the sentiment, not the paper. Just saying 'happy birthday' is equally good, and costs nothing. If however, the other person likes the token as much as the sentiment, then you should get them the token. It's about showing that you are in tune with what they value.
Crissy Newbury 8 months ago
I actually agree with that in part. A living plant in a pot is much better.
Subaru645 8 months ago
They’re a waste of money when the person receiving them is not worth it.
#69
This was only on date 1, but I noticed straight away that he did not care for himself. Needed a haircut, had plaque buildup on his yellowing teeth, wrinkled clothes, etc.
#70
Kept talking about his ex/always bringing her up someone in every conversation.
#71
He was bad in bed
Bay Bo 8 months ago
Well alrighty then...tbh I've left a guy cause we kissed n his mouth tasted putrid rotting vomit
V 8 months ago
I once went on a date and at the end of it he kissed me and his tongue was like a cold wet hard sausage. Lovely guy, easy on the eyes, but I couldn't get past that horrible kiss. Still friends, his wife and children are gorgeous, but glad it's not me, lol.
Load More Replies... David Morgan 8 months ago
Was he bad in bed and convinced he wasn't? 'Bad' because he didn't want the same things as you? Bad but willing to improve? The second two things are reasons to work on the relationship, not abandon it.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
If the most important thing you're concerned with in a relationship is good s*x, chances are you don't deserve any. (And aren't providing any, either.)
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Actually as a woman I totally agree ! her definition of bad in bed may not be others ! maybe he just hadn’t learnt how to please a real woman of which I,ll go as far as saying she wasn’t one lol , cos the most of us don’t see that unless said guy is a selfish lover then that’s a whole new ball game entirely
Load More Replies... #72
He didn't drive. He couldn't drive because he never got his driver's license. When I asked why he wouldn't drive he'd emphasize that he knows how to drive didn't feel the need to get his license because public transportation is so accessible. He'd always make it a point to stress how much he didn't want to burden me with all the driving but we were together for almost 2 years and all he did was promise to work on getting his licence. He still doesn't have his license to this day.
Phoenix 8 months ago
My bff's ex promised her he'd get his license before their first child was born. He kept that promise by leaving her alone in the hospital while she was in labor to have his dad take him to go get his license.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 8 months ago
A man of his word. Also glad to note that he's an ex.
Load More Replies...
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
I didn't get my licence until I was 27 because of my anxiety. It really was easy to use public transport in Melbourne. Glad I wasn't with someone who hung a whole relationship on that point because it would have made my anxiety worse.
Ace 8 months ago
And after two years you still hadn't worked out why he was so scared of driving? Sounds like you might have been able to help instead of just nagging him to get on and do it.
Donna Peluda 8 months ago
In some countries it can be difficult. Theory test are a pain, specially for people who have learning disabilities. There throw in a lot of trick questions. I did mine in Spain back in the 80s in Spain and most people flunked the the a least once. Also can be expensive. Most people do more then 20 hours practise so it can easily run in to 1000 euros. I remember paying the equivalent of 600 euros in the 80, all summer saving up. And I only did 5 driving lessonsc os I could drive bit had to learn the test area.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago (edited)
He may have had his driver's license taken away and didn't want to tell OP.
#73
He gave holey socks for me to sleep after I helped cleaning his room when I clearly saw plenty of brand new socks in there
David Morgan 8 months ago
Really? "I like warm feet" is freaky? Lots of women have cold feet and hands due to circulatory issues. They like cuddling up because they feel warmer.
Load More Replies... #74
told him "I know you're confident in your driving but next time can you try to remember my son is in the car" and then he said he been driving longer than my son been alive.... he's actually very lucky i didn't none to him.
Bi.Felicia 8 months ago
I think it might mean he's lucky that she didn't do anything do him, like physically hit him or something?
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 8 months ago
My brother's partner is pregnant and will be having a tough conversation with both my mum and sister because he won't be letting them drive with the baby in the car because neither is a very safe driver.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
His point exactly lol !! He’s live thru the horrors of their driving !
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago (edited)
He’s lucky she had none with him ! n please can he drive safely ! Not hard to understand 😂
#75
Never cooked for me
Shortstuff 1 month ago
Neither has my husband of 59 years. But then I don't repair dripping taps, maintain the lawn, repair the cars, repair appliances, fix anything broken. 🙂
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Yes and !!! u got issues much op big time issues !!! I’d never let a man cook for me unless they a chef lol or do actually know how to cook properly I don’t see the problem at all
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
I was going to comment that my brother's partner never cooks for him, but she just cooked him breakfast in bed today for his birthday!
#76
He was perfect but insecure and indecisive
Michael Largey 8 months ago
I suspect I'm a procrastinator, but I'll worry about that later.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Being that is annoying hugely but tbh if that’s all you got that annoys you get that man up the aisle ! again snows more about you than him !
#77
spend a full day without calling me and not answer the phone when i called.
my ex may have been a cheater but he answered that mfkin phone EVERY TIME i called even in Afghanistan
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
I’d say litterally if he was out in Afghan to jeez poor guy was out there to protect people not answer a bloody phone in a sodding war zone to his psycho girlfriend right , he could have ended up keeping his forces mates killed ! no wonder he cheated on her she’s way to demanding !
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Shall I get my ikkle violin out for her lmao sounds like she needs a pity party on this 😂that poor ex out fighting for his county having to jump to her tune every 5 mins that demanding s***k calls saying jump eugh he’s lucky he didn’t get dead right !
Load More Replies...
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Omg what planet you live on op cos it sure as hell ain’t ours ! so he didnt answer the phone ffs whats the problem in that seriously this shows more about you than it does him !!! N if your ex is in bloody Afghan you idiot !!! DO NOT CALL HIM OMG that means he’s on tour IN THE BLOODY FORCES 🤬leave the man alone jeez your a selfish b***h ! One with mega insecurities work on em n quit bugging people at work ! No oner the ex cheated on you a rest from a coercive s***k like you !! N that’s coming from a 60 yr old woman !
Bi.Felicia 8 months ago (edited)
Being a military veteran, I too assumed that the boyfriend was deployed to Afghanistan on military orders but it is possible that they were visiting family or there for something completely different. Plus, I find it hard to believe that if he was there on a military mission, that he would be able to answer every time she called. Those satellite phones aren't the most reliable and also the time difference likely played a role, and the fact that he was there to do a job no be at OPs beckon call. But if he were there for personal reasons he may have had a different type of cell phone.
Load More Replies... #78
he didn’t open the door for me.
Apatheist Account2 8 months ago
Just as many complaints about the misogynist patriarchy who patronise women by opening doors for them. I open doors - not because you're a lady, but because I'm a gentleman.
David Morgan 8 months ago
Right. I open doors for men and women, and I walk through doors held for me BY men and women. I don't feel any less manly for doing so, and I'm not implying anything other than 'now you don't need to open this door yourself'. It's just nice to help people out.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 8 months ago
Women: "Don't men still open car doors?" Man: "Sure, how do you think we get inside?"
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Erm excuse u op Christ is this all you gotta worry about what a deluded S k a n k you are op ! N that’s coming from a woman !! who cares if they don’t open. Bloody door I assume your able to do it yourself jeez get over yourself n quit giving us woman a bad name !
Shortstuff 1 month ago
Neither has my husband of 59 years. Far too picky and entitled. Life is too short!
#79
Had entirely too many female friends!
SheamusFanFrom1987 8 months ago
I'm sorry, but how did you think a Man-da like me learned about different types of periods? Granted, I read it from a science textbook as the initial step but that only covered the basics.
#80
He was perfect but his bond with god wasn’t solid and I can’t f**k with that
tresgatos72 8 months ago
Who gave you the right to judge? I thought ithe Bible says "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and "Let him without sin cast the first stone". He probably has a deeper bond with God than any judgemental hypocrite.
Apatheist Account2 8 months ago
It's a personal choice. Clearly they're not compatible; no sense wasting time if you're not on the same religious page. Sensible reason to separate.
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
My mum has been married twice to men who don't share her faith. While she would never insist they did, hence she is still married to my stepdad, there is a large part of her life that she can't share with them and it makes her a little sad. I personally wouldn't care what a partner's faith was, because it's not a major part of my life, but I can see why it doesn't work for people who spend every day focussing on their religion would prefer someone who could share that with them. Not because there is anything wrong with non-belief.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Eugh religion again ! Op you do realise the bibles a work of fiction RIGHT , He dodged a bullet right there ! N you op are a brainwashed lunatic !
Michael Largey 8 months ago
True faith is a process of questioning, re-examination, and renovation. Your bond with god is that process. If you think your relationship with your god is perfect, then you're your own god.
Llewella Griffiths 1 week ago
Oh, holy night. What in the Jebediah Springfield does this comment mean? I don’t mean to be horrible.. if people believe in a singular god, is it not detrimental to believe in themselves as their own god? And with that belief, what actions would they take in response to the sudden recognition as their own god?
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 8 months ago
I love how people say "he was perfect but...". How can he be perfect if there's a "but"?
Michael Largey 8 months ago
Oh, many men can be described as a perfect butt.
Load More Replies... Llewella Griffiths 1 week ago (edited)
One of the best relationships I have in my life is the one with my best friend from university. She is Catholic, I am an atheist. We have been best friends for almost 15 years. We speak openly about our beliefs .. non-belief.. scepticism and what faith means to us. I would never stop my relationship with my best friend because of her faith. Why are we forcing our expectations of belief onto our partners and friends? Why can’t we have differing opinions. I find it astounding that you could not see past their religious affinity to try and find common ground and potentially an incredible person you could share your life with. Or not. But you’ll never know because of your narrow mindedness.
#81
We ordered different cocktails
Mine was very strong so I didn’t like it
He let me try his and I said I liked his
He didn’t offer to switch
David Morgan 8 months ago
Cool story. So order another cocktail like his then. I wouldn't WANT someone else's drink, that they'd been drinking - it will be smaller, and possibly have their spit in it.
Michael Largey 8 months ago
He might have offered to order her one she'd like better. But she could also have done that herself.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Demanding b***h ! you bloody ordered it dam well drink it !! jeez these last few are really making us women look so flaming shallow like I’m 60 n none of the things would bother me what so ever !
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Ellinor 8 months ago
So many redflags that you could sew them all together, create a huge hot-air balloon, put all those men inside and send them to space.
Rachel Reynolds 8 months ago
My ex shamed me for having a tattoo and pressured me to get it removed. My husband is paying for my sleeve as our 15 year anniversary present.
azubi 8 months ago
On the other hand, if you want to tell a story, it is because it's not something you hear every other day. At least I hope so.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago
Maybe I didn't read far enough but all these are about deciding not to marry the current partner, not deciding not to get married. Less than 50% of couples get married now, nearly 60% live together. Stop pushing the idea that marriage = valid and healthy and unmarried means not marriage material or something is lacking. Especially when you run 20 articles a week about dysfunctional marriages.
Ace 8 months ago
Well yes, but in real terms all of these posts are about reasons they spilt up, any assumption about marriage is really only made in the headline/title, just using the idea of marriage as an example of a continuing relationship. I think you may be reading too much into it.
Load More Replies...
Corrina Byers 5 months ago
my hubby of nearly 37 years,, id love to divorce him,,,he says really rotten things about me to his loser friends,,,we havent slept together in a little over 17 years,, he told me its because he lost interest in se*...so he lost interest of me,,, hes the kind of guy where fun goes to d.i.e...he had a 16 year affair with some who was living in my house,,, they were extremely sneaky about it,,, only doing it if i was out of the house,,or sleeping ,gave no outward signs of it,,, i want to leave but i have no money and no place to go,, he refuses to pay for the divorce,, the house isnt worth anything,, he will not fix anything, and im partially disabled so i cant do it,,,
Janet C 7 months ago
As a group, women need to stop tolerating s****y manbabies. Let them all die single. Women have put up with all this sh*t long enough. No more blowing off infantile “pranks” that are nothing more than schoolyard-level bullying. No more doing 100% of the home care. No more doing 100% of the child care. No more doing all the cleaning up after a slob, especially if he uses weaponized incompetence to get out of doing his share. No more doing all the cooking because “he doesn’t know how”. No more doing all the organizing and gift selection. No more treating them like a spoiled toddler. No more trying to “help him change into a better man”. No more blowing off how badly he treats you. No more tolerating his disrespect. NO MORE. Society has convinced women that we "must" be a wife and mother in order to be valued and fulfilled, but 99% of women would be better off single. Ladies, stop ignoring, justifying, and dismissinb all those red flags. TRUST YOUR GUT.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Jeez read em all lol n I gotta say way to many of em make us women sound awful !! I’m 60 n even tho I’m happier n safer divorced n on my own with my kids 13 yrs all I ask of a man is DO NOT EVER LAY A HAND ON ME IN VIOLENCE! Or try to control me EVER ! been there done that got the scars both mental n physical ! And do not cheat on me ! All I ask which tbh isn’t actually much now is it !Some do make good points lol but the most 100% not good reasons to leave em in fact at least half say more about the ones leaving than the one they slagging off lol
Boris Long-Johnson 8 months ago
Anyone got the link for the BP article “ 81 Moments In Which Men Realized They Wouldn’t Be Marrying Their Partner”? I can’t find it.
Ace 8 months ago
I see where you're coming from, but a quick check through recent BP "couples" items shows a reasonable balance between those criticising males and females.
Load More Replies...
Ellinor 8 months ago
So many redflags that you could sew them all together, create a huge hot-air balloon, put all those men inside and send them to space.
Rachel Reynolds 8 months ago
My ex shamed me for having a tattoo and pressured me to get it removed. My husband is paying for my sleeve as our 15 year anniversary present.
azubi 8 months ago
On the other hand, if you want to tell a story, it is because it's not something you hear every other day. At least I hope so.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 8 months ago
Maybe I didn't read far enough but all these are about deciding not to marry the current partner, not deciding not to get married. Less than 50% of couples get married now, nearly 60% live together. Stop pushing the idea that marriage = valid and healthy and unmarried means not marriage material or something is lacking. Especially when you run 20 articles a week about dysfunctional marriages.
Ace 8 months ago
Well yes, but in real terms all of these posts are about reasons they spilt up, any assumption about marriage is really only made in the headline/title, just using the idea of marriage as an example of a continuing relationship. I think you may be reading too much into it.
Load More Replies... Corrina Byers 5 months ago
my hubby of nearly 37 years,, id love to divorce him,,,he says really rotten things about me to his loser friends,,,we havent slept together in a little over 17 years,, he told me its because he lost interest in se*...so he lost interest of me,,, hes the kind of guy where fun goes to d.i.e...he had a 16 year affair with some who was living in my house,,, they were extremely sneaky about it,,, only doing it if i was out of the house,,or sleeping ,gave no outward signs of it,,, i want to leave but i have no money and no place to go,, he refuses to pay for the divorce,, the house isnt worth anything,, he will not fix anything, and im partially disabled so i cant do it,,,
Janet C 7 months ago
As a group, women need to stop tolerating s****y manbabies. Let them all die single. Women have put up with all this sh*t long enough. No more blowing off infantile “pranks” that are nothing more than schoolyard-level bullying. No more doing 100% of the home care. No more doing 100% of the child care. No more doing all the cleaning up after a slob, especially if he uses weaponized incompetence to get out of doing his share. No more doing all the cooking because “he doesn’t know how”. No more doing all the organizing and gift selection. No more treating them like a spoiled toddler. No more trying to “help him change into a better man”. No more blowing off how badly he treats you. No more tolerating his disrespect. NO MORE. Society has convinced women that we "must" be a wife and mother in order to be valued and fulfilled, but 99% of women would be better off single. Ladies, stop ignoring, justifying, and dismissinb all those red flags. TRUST YOUR GUT.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Jeez read em all lol n I gotta say way to many of em make us women sound awful !! I’m 60 n even tho I’m happier n safer divorced n on my own with my kids 13 yrs all I ask of a man is DO NOT EVER LAY A HAND ON ME IN VIOLENCE! Or try to control me EVER ! been there done that got the scars both mental n physical ! And do not cheat on me ! All I ask which tbh isn’t actually much now is it !Some do make good points lol but the most 100% not good reasons to leave em in fact at least half say more about the ones leaving than the one they slagging off lol
Boris Long-Johnson 8 months ago
Anyone got the link for the BP article “ 81 Moments In Which Men Realized They Wouldn’t Be Marrying Their Partner”? I can’t find it.
Ace 8 months ago
I see where you're coming from, but a quick check through recent BP "couples" items shows a reasonable balance between those criticising males and females.
Load More Replies... You May Like Man Goes Online To Vent About A Cheating Wife, Gets A Harsh Reality Check Woman Shuts Down Boys’ Nights At Their House After They Go Too Far: “I Hate That He Has Friends” “Not Enough For A Divorce”: Woman Realizes She’s Her Husband’s Secret, Still Wants To Stay
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mantas Kačerauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Related on Bored Panda
