“Professional Incompetence”: 30 Things That Are More Common Than People Would Like To Think
Many things might seem uncommon at first glance, especially when there’s no one in your circle going through the same thing. But members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently revealed that some occurrences or situations are way more common than one might think.
They started a discussion on the topic after one user asked them about such things that are more common than people realize, and in their answers, the netizens covered everything from amicable divorces to professional incompetence, and beyond. Scroll down to find more of their examples on the list below and see what other things might not be as rare as they seem.
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Not having any friends when you're older. After you graduate college, especially if you move to a new city for a job, it's hard to maintain friendships. And it's definitely hard to get new friends once you're in the adult world working every day. Many people's only friend is their spouse. And if they aren't married many people just don't have any friends.
I can feel that too. Not funny but it's the way it is...
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Seems a lot of folks have few or no friends in the comments . But we’re all part of the Bored Panda community, probably other social media groups too. Maybe in the wilder world we are isolated, but we belong here, because we are worthy. I hope the folks who need to hear that are reading this.
I have maybe three or four friends but rather more acquaintances. I don't see friends very often - maybe two or three times each year. I happily live alone (with my three cats) and lead a happy. fulfilling life serving my feline overlords.
I've often thought there should be a "Friendr" app. Works like Tindr or Grindr and similar, just instead of looking for hookups it's literally just to find someone with similar tastes to hang out with. Put in your profile you like horror movies and drinking beer and people can go "Hey I like doing that too! Lets hang out."
It takes effort to maintain a friendship, and effort often also means time. Sometimes there just isn't enough time. That said, if you do want to try find people to hang out with (and move from aquantaince to friend to close friend) is learn new things. A new group, a new hobby, a sport... And be brave enough to take the step to ask people to do do things together. Not many do. Hardly anyone does actually, all to afraid of rejection. And yes, "rejection" happens because people have busy lives. Don't give up. I started a monthl boardgame night at work, joined a group sport thingy, try to be active locally, call out on facebook and in whatsappgroups for people to join me for concerts. I have friends, but it's not like I speak to them daily or weekly, and they are not that often available. A group of friends is harder to form. It isn't necessary to have friends though, if you are fine without friends, then that is ok. But if you want them, it takes effort and persistance.
It takes effort to make/keep friends and people are lazy. Depending on where you live there probably dozens of ways to make friends.
In my case, it's up and down. Right now I have a lot of friends, coworkers to eat out and text with, neighbors to chat with, 2 good friends and 4 long distance friends. It's the most I've ever had in my life. I've learned to accept the limitations and make an effort to connect in spite of my depression, introversion and laziness. It's done me well to push myself.
Only friend is definitely my husband. Its not from a lack of trying though, however I'm done trying. I get tired of doing all the work, going out of my way and never getting back the same energy.
I moved to a new city with my fiancé and a few years later we broke up. My social life never recovered.
I have a few good ones I struggle to keep in touch with. I love them dearly, but if I don't see them often I don't always think to message or contact them more than maybe once a month? I feel bad, nothing changes for me because of the distance, but I feel like they feel like I don't care even though I do!
That’s something I’ve never understood about adulthood that is so overblown on TV/movies/social media. Apparently I’m supposed to have a T-swift level squad of aging mean-girls who I just can’t live without, and a booming social life where we all go out looking hot and carefree. Um…🧐 Sure, I’ll find time between kids, spouse, finishing my education, working, keeping house, kids afterschool b******t, the list goes on…
True. I'm down to one close friend a hundred miles away and a few by occasional text or email who I rarely see. Lots of acquaintances and neighbours I can ask for help if I need to, but only one person who really knows me. When you're older, friendships you do make, like at work, don't seem to stick as easily.
At 69 years old, the ability to listen to trivial small talk is no longer a satisfying social activity. It seems a waste of what little time I have left.
That's oddly comforting, knowing it's normal and not necessarily just a me thing. That said, if you want to make friends, you have to make time for it and put yourself out there. I started in jujitsu last year partly for the training, but also to socialize more, and while I wouldn't necessarily consider us close, I have made a few connections, and it has definitely been good for my mental health.
Get out. I'm a Freemason, a Scout Leader, and have friends from my son's soccer and church. If you don't seek anyone, they won't find you.
Then it doesn't apply to you. She said it was normal, not that it was impossible to do or anything, just that lots of people can't or won't. She also said 'many people' not 'all people'. Please consider reading comprehension in your future endeavors!
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It‘s never too late to make new friends. Unless you do not want any friends.
Yep, and what's worse: this seems "normal", perhaps especially for men. Last time I made a friend was twenty years ago. I have made a few "friendly acquaintances" since, but no one I'm particularly close to; and I don't even hang out with those acquaintances. Yeah, it's life, I know, but I mean these people won't even carve out a couple hours a *year* on my behalf.
Childhood trauma. A lot of us hide it, mask it, or pretend we had normal lives.
PS: Please don't include childhood stuff in team building workplace activities. This stuff is so hard to avoid and uncomfortable, even something like "A picture of you as a child!" or "Favorite childhood memories and goals!" I'd much rather focus on the person I am today, than the vulnerable little body I was many years ago.
Team building - a way to find out your weaknesses and exploit them! We do not need to be friends at work, we are co-workers, respect me and I will respect you. STOP the team building!!
living paycheck to paycheck. We are all broke and can’t believe how expensive groceries are
Also, I don't think people know how many people go without food on a regular basis.
People who don't wash their hands after using the restroom.
Chronic pain.
I am at a point in my life where I get suspicious if some part of my body does not hurt.
Imposter syndrome. No one knows what we are doing. We are all just winging it. Most of us are hoping that asking questions and being nice will get us there.
I have sat through many, many meetings, thinking "everyone here is just playing 'Grown Up'".
Alcoholism. There are many more “functional” alcoholics or recovering than people would guess.
Mental health problems
And if these illnesses are diagnosed after they progressed for a while, they usually can be only treated but cannot be cured. The treatment might save people's life, maybe even help them to have a more or less "normal" life, but they keep suffering for years and decades. They are walking on the edge their sanity depends on if they take their meds in time.
People being ashamed of things they like. Pro wrestling, tabletop games, types of media (anime, reality TV etc.).
People are way more insecure about people getting a peek at their true selves than people realise.
Feeling lonely. Even if you're married/with kids/etc
I live in the same small city with the majority of my family and my siblings are just a 30 min drive away but still lonely all the time. Loneliness got nothing to do with having ppl around its a feeling that is hard to fight...
The number of people being left behind by services going digital. They come into the library where I volunteer to find help, not only do some of them not have email addresses (and most of the ones who do rely on the computer remembering their passwords) a significant number don't even have mobile phones.
My high street has lost its Lloyds Bank and NatWest branches, I think that Barclays is next to go. Sometimes it is better to speak to someone in a branch. I had to a couple of years ago and things got solved pretty quickly, the people on the phone were useless and the app is not designed for those sort of queries
Professional incompetence. On all levels, from cashiers at McDonald’s to nuclear scientists.
The difference is in how the organization handles and mitigates failure
I can think of two university professors who are totally incompetent. So much so that I'm amazed they even had the brains to get a first degree.
Low self-esteem. I don't know how many times I have seen people not invite, include, or initiate something with someone for fear of rejection or the other person finding them annoying, and then the other person feels rejected from not being included.
A lot of people think they are more annoying or unliked than they actually are.
Hoarding.
People see the TV show and think those are isolated incidents. But ask your local fire and EMS providers, and watch the horror creep across their faces. I've been in houses where you couldn't actually touch the floor, you walked on top of the....debris.... Houses where the door they use is the only door or window in the entire residence that can be opened. Houses where we had to station firefighters every couple feet along the "path" through the mess, and load the patient onto a mega-mover (basically a heavy duty sheet with grab handles on the sides), and pass her person-to-person out the door.
It is WAY more prevalent than you can even imagine.
We are all just a neurological injury from being hoarders ourselves.
Parents regretting having children
Stop making babies. If there's one thing this nightmarish dumpster fire hellish dying world desperately needs, it's less people.
Credit card debt. 45% of Americans carry a credit card balance from one month to the next.
There are a lot more very kinky people doing very kinky things than you think. Seriously. Most people just have no idea
people popping pills to barely function
People not knowing about whatever the current activism is on social media.
Big example is the Starbucks/ McDonald’s boycott. Everyone online is convinced it’s a huge boycott yet most people in the real world do not know a thing about it. People forget that not everyone is online 24/7 and just because you know about something doesn’t mean others do if they’re not in that same online circle.
If this means that I need to know about stupid challenges and celebrity stories, I am out. The world will stay the same without me knowing about that kids set themselves on fire because of a tictoc video.
Sleep apnea (and other sleep disorders). It took me 3 years to get diagnosed because my symptoms were dismissed as "depression," because I didn't have any of the sleep apnea risk factors, and because I had a previous history of depression, despite my initial insistence that I'd dealt with depression before, and this was different. I guess I eventually started believing them.
Then I got a new psychiatrist. I told her I was having a depressive episode. She asked me about my symptoms, and all the symptoms that she asked about, either I wasn't experiencing them, or they were the direct result of being tired all the time (e.g. I hadn't so much lost interest in activities, I was just too tired to do anything). She told me that it sounded more like I was describing a sleep disorder than a depressive episode, and referred me to a sleep lab.
She said she ends up referring a lot of her patients to sleep labs, and another friend of mine who was a psychiatry resident said he also ends up diagnosing sleep apnea a lot. Sleep disorders can mimic or exacerbate the symptoms of mental illnesses, so I guess it takes a psychiatrist to tell when someone *isn't* depressed.
Autism in women. Sure, TikTok etc is making this omnipresent in a stupid, possibly dangerous way, but it’s a reaction to growing up in a world where it was thought only boys could be on the spectrum.
(All my teachers knew something was wrong with me, but never what specifically, and I had a real hard time as a teen. As an adult, I’ve sought out a diagnosis, but because I’ve had so many shifting and conflicting mental health diagnosis, it makes it really hard. I’ll probably never get a formal diagnosis, but if they could see how some of the older people in my family were, there would be no question).
The same goes for ADS/ ADHD. Back then doctors/ people thought only boys can have it. But girls/ women can have it too, they are just very good at masking. Edit: and it represents differently, I think.
Miscarriage. The Mayo Clinic says up to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, which is already a lot. This is obviously heartbreaking for wanted pregnancies, but can be difficult for unwanted pregnancies too. But in addition to that 20%, many people miscarry before they learn they're pregnant. While not distressing in the same way of knowingly having a miscarriage, it's distressing for many people because of an seeming inability to get pregnant.
Local corruption. You think it's just US Senators using inside information to dump or buy stocks or Supreme Court Justices getting kickbacks from billionaires? Nope.
It's your town council, too. Do you know what their salary is? Do you know what the town budget/revenue is? Sometimes it doesn't necessarily even have to have a price tag attached. I lived in a town where the elected town council just conspired to take turns running for mayor. Sure outsiders could run but hey "So and so is a member of the council and has been mayor before 6 years ago, he's good".
Lot of businesses for those council members got expedited approval, too.
I had a friend who lived in Alabama for a while and I was in disbelief to hear that the county sheriff was in charge of the county jails was also in charge of the food budget for the jails, and any "left over" funds for that fiscal year became his. Literally, deposit to Sheriff's personal bank account if there's extra. Surprise surprise there always was.
Grown folks failing to look up ANYTHING on their own, or calling ahead to see if a place is open.
The amount of times I got screamed at already this week for “WHY YOU WERE CLOSED ON MONDAY?”
Ma’am/Sir, it’s a federal/national holiday that’s been in effect for longer than you & I have been alive. Also, we posted signs stating such on every entrance/exit door on the building on Friday morning. They were still up on Tuesday when we returned to work.
Screaming at a random person because you were either willfully ignorant or didn’t think to call ahead and then didn’t READ THE SIGNS plastered all over just makes you look unhinged.
Plus, you made a trip today for nothing because the item you’re looking for still isn’t in yet.
Had you called ahead, you wouldn’t have wasted your time, energy, and gas getting here for nothing!
“Why were we closed on Monday? Actually, we heard that you were planning to stop by.”
Train derailments. When the wreck in East Palestein happened, a whole lot of people acted like this was just unheard of. I work in an industry that's heavily affected by rail, and let me tell you, it's very common. We are impacted by derailments a few times a month at least.
Lactose intolerance. It's estimated that 65% of adults worldwide are lactose intolerant. I was in denial about it for a long time, but I finally tried cutting out lactose-containing dairy, and it made a huge difference (for me, the lactase pills help, but not as much as just avoiding lactose).
Sounds reasonable, because intolerance is the norm, while tolerance is the mutation.
Agreement to Forer statements, also known as the Barnum effect. It's how horoscopes and fortune tellers get you.
_Most_ people highly agree with each of the following statements:
* You have a great need for other people to like and admire you.
* You have a tendency to be critical of yourself.
* You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage.
* While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.
* Your sexual adjustment has presented problems for you.
* Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside.
* At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.
* You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.
* You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof.
* You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.
* At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved.
* Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
* Security is one of your major goals in life.
SIBO - if you have some weird physiological problems and you don't know the cause, it could be your gut, small intestine bacterial overgrowth especially
I had to look this up "Some studies reported up to 80% of patients with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) have SIBO".
The number of obese people with severe mental health issues. The main cause of obesity are mental health issues and behavioural problems. Without proper therapy most obese people are unable to lose weight or hold their weight. In the vast majority of cases, overeating is a coping mechanism. That's why body neutrality (NOT body positivity!) is so important. Unless there's an absolute necessity, body weight shouldn't be mentioned at all. Neither in a positive, nor in a negative way, since both can have a negative impact on health progress. People should not be reduced on their weight, the focus should be on their accomplishments so they can find a better coping strategy than eating. Newer studies have found that people who are allowed to distract their focus and can find a different way to level their emotional imbalance, for instance a fulfilling hobby, have better chances to successfully lose weight than people who are constantly reminded of their weight issues.
Also, not eating correctly has a negative impact on your gut bacteria. More and more we are finding that a huge number of medical issues are caused by gut bacteria imbalances.
Load More Replies... SIDS and still births. Most of the time you only hear about them, if it happens to you.
The number of obese people with severe mental health issues. The main cause of obesity are mental health issues and behavioural problems. Without proper therapy most obese people are unable to lose weight or hold their weight. In the vast majority of cases, overeating is a coping mechanism. That's why body neutrality (NOT body positivity!) is so important. Unless there's an absolute necessity, body weight shouldn't be mentioned at all. Neither in a positive, nor in a negative way, since both can have a negative impact on health progress. People should not be reduced on their weight, the focus should be on their accomplishments so they can find a better coping strategy than eating. Newer studies have found that people who are allowed to distract their focus and can find a different way to level their emotional imbalance, for instance a fulfilling hobby, have better chances to successfully lose weight than people who are constantly reminded of their weight issues.
Also, not eating correctly has a negative impact on your gut bacteria. More and more we are finding that a huge number of medical issues are caused by gut bacteria imbalances.
Load More Replies... SIDS and still births. Most of the time you only hear about them, if it happens to you.
