“Several Inappropriate Baby Videos”: 30 Horrible Or Wonderful Wedding Experiences Folks Had
While some might say that a wedding is just a big party, this underscores just how much planning and organization actually goes into putting together a party. So it’s no surprise that, despite people’s best intentions, sometimes things just don’t go as planned.
People from across the internet share the things they hated about their own weddings, as well as some of the things they loved. From good ideas implemented poorly to folks who cheaped out at the wrong moment, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own examples in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
Stuffing cake in my wife’s face. No exaggeration, i regret it to this day.
One of the traits of a successful marriage is to protect your spouse, with words, with your actions. Protect in this case has the meaning of upholding their dignity, their honor, etc. shoving cake in their face is not doing any of that and it’s very very public.
Don’t do it. Plus it messed with her make up, I really really wish I hadn’t. :(.
Why do people do this? I don't think it's fun when it's at someone elses expense and this is just humiliating.
Letting my Ex-MIL dictate pretty much everything. It stopped being our wedding and became her wedding. And she is crazy.
The whole wedding was no longer focused on my wife and I but my MiL handing my wife off to me. Which is really ironic because after that moment MiL became even more controlling. Some things she did....
* She had a mommy daughter dance.
* Made an 30 minute long speech about raising my wife, including playing several inappropriate baby videos.
* Made a toast to herself
* Cut the cake with my wife
* Tossed the bouquet herself
* Tried to outcast my small family (party of 6) to the corner
* Departed the wedding in our limo with us
* This is the weirdest one. The bridal lingerie literally said "mommy's girl".
The wedding was ruined for me. The worst part? It set a precedent that my MiL can do whatever she wanted in our relationship and my wife would always choose her side. This eventually caused a split after MiL spanked the hell out of my daughter and my wife took her side.
Getting separated from my wife while at the wedding. She went to the bathroom and then got swarmed by friends and family and she disappeared what seemed like hours. Also, in general getting pulled away from eachother. When I would get a drink or talk to someone.
The reason I regret it, is because my wife looked so absolutely stunning that day and I just wanted to look at her the entire time. My wife is still hot but something about that dress.
I regret spending so much on my dress. And my parents paid for it! It was beautiful but I feel like I could have bought a cheaper one and still had a great day.
Well, we could have had the wedding in fall 2019, but my wife wanted more time to make sure everything was perfect, so we decided to have it in April 2020.
Around december 2019 we started to realise what was coming but nobody was prepared.
Buying the suit I wore...As a groom I rented and nothing fit right. All of my pictures showed. As much as my wife spent on her dress I could have spent the $500 to buy the perfect fitting suit. Really short sighted on my part.
I regret not turning around to watch my wife walk down the aisle.
It was an outdoor wedding with no music, and I was told to stare at the nearby ruins so I didn't accidentally see my wife as she made her way to the back of where we had the ceremony. With no cue, I had no idea when to turn until she tapped me on the shoulder and giggled a small "hi".
Her dress was amazing, and the ceremony went well amidst a surprise downpour (two hours earlier than expected), but I really wish I had been able to watch her walk the aisle.
Not dancing more with my dad. He passed away a few years later. Not eating the food I spent so much time picking out!!!!!
Wearing heels. Also letting my sister in law convince me to stay at her house the night before instead of a hotel. I slept on a tiny, uncomfortable futon with my giant future husband, and slept maybe an hour.
My husband and I went off alone to be married in the woods. No regrets on that, but I regret not going further off-trail for the actual vow exchange. A lady on horseback yelled at me that the "white thing on your head is scaring my horse".
Hiring a s****y photographer. At the end of the day your photos are the only tangible thing you pay for.
I remember early in the process telling my wife-to-be that if anyone is talking about the chair covers, napkins or plates after the wedding then the wedding must have sucked. Relax.
Absolutely. I remember the make-up lady and hair stylist doing me up before my wedding saying that I was the calmest bride they had ever seen. If they knew my back story, they'd know I don't sweat the small stuff! Other things trigger crises instead, but definitely not some sodding origami or whether people notice the place settings!
Not a bride but a recent groom. I regret not having the priest not announcing "No photography" at the beginning of the service. We have some awesome shots ruined by people sticking their heads out in the isle while she was walking down.
Letting the photographer dictate where we should be for the entire night. Going back I would have told him do all the photo poses you want in the first hour then leave us alone.
Also would have had someone walk around with us when we said hi to each table to help us get out of drawn out conversations to make it go faster.
Not eloping. Our wedding was relatively small and inexpensive (less than 10k, less than 60 guests) but we could have spent that money on a sweet beach elopement and doubled up our honeymoon to be two weeks.
That still sounds like a lot of money to me, but I'm broke so what do I know
Posing for pictures. Ended up putting so much energy into getting perfect pics we didn't spend time in the moment. Just ask your photographer to do candid shots only and focus on enjoying the day. Your pics will be great whether you try hard to have perfect photos or not and you won't look at the album nearly as often as you might think.
I have the exact opposite wish... we told our photographer to focus on candids, and we actually do not have any great shots of just the two of us. It always makes me sad.
Thinking it was so important to get all of my family there. In retrospect, those that had to be convinced and accommodated shouldn't have been there.
This is something that so many people don't realize. If they want to be at your wedding, they will be. You don't have to "convince" them, just invite them. You can always find the time and money to do what you want.
A reception line. I got talked into it, I didn’t want to do it but felt pressured. All I did for 3/4 of my reception was stand and say hello to people it was miserable and took a lot of the fun out of the day.
Letting a homeless guy into our reception venue to use the restroom. Half-hour later, he's still in there. A few of my guests jimmied the door open and found him passed out on heroin.
My regret is not taking the time out to enjoy myself.
Both my wife and I spent a lot of time going around and talking to people, making sure we got through everyone and not missing anyone out, and doing things to make sure everyone felt included.
Since then, we’ve found out that everyone was super happy and we didn’t need to spend that time seemingly appeasing everybody.
We both regret not taking a bit of time out and just enjoying ourselves with our immediate friends.
We’re desperate to go to another wedding at the same venue as guests, so we can get the experience we created for ours.
Actually it's NOT doing something..my wife's uncle ,as our wedding gift,hired the dj. I wanted to talk to the dj to make sure that he'd have the songs we wanted "don't worry about it he has everything" so I didn't..... Don't get me wrong he did a good job it's just that he had every song but the couple that ment something to us!
I should have made my wife eat her meal. We sat at the table alone and chatted while everyone else was eating and she said she wasn't very hungry after eating like 1/4 of her plate.
Turns out that half hour was the only 30 minutes of the day she wasn't hungry. I finally went downstairs and got her a plate of hors d'oeuvres after her trying to politely sneak down for two hours.
They spirited her food away some point after dinner and she still regrets not getting to eat the great food we picked out.
I would move speeches to before dinner is served, people are quicker when they're hungry and not drunk yet.
I personally wouldn't bother with the first dance, we're not dancers, it was really f*****g awkward.
The one thing I would reccomend to everyone is having party bombs - like mini indoor firework and inside theres silly stuff to play with. We had groups of people from different places who didn't know each other, it was a brilliant icebreaker and so much fun!
My dad had the wonderful idea of giving little bottles of bubble mix to all the kids (also available for adults ;-) ) and party squeakers, and they were great ice-breakers too. Small silliness is a beautiful thing.
In all honesty, I regret dancing so much. We danced so much, we forgot to go around to individually thank everyone for coming. They all came to us on the dance floor to say hello. 10/10 still dancing.
Tiny wedding in a beautiful state park. I forgot the rings in the car and my dad was kind enough to jog back and get them. That's the only regret I have for that day.
Using a friend to take the wedding photos instead of paying a professional photographer.
I was in grad school at the time and we were trying to save money, so we asked a friend of my wife’s to take the photos. He was an amateur with a new camera. Nearly every one of our wedding photos is either grainy or blurry. Some of our family in the wedding has died, and it really makes us sad to not have good photos of the family together.
Same with my second wedding. I thought my friend was a competent photographer but all the pics are blurry! I was really disappointed. She wasn't used to using an actual DSLR camera instead of a cell phone. Despite my settings being on 'auto'....just basically point and shoot....somehow they were blurry.
I wanted a small event for about 20 people. My fiancée agreed, but then her mom insisted they have a lot of very close and important family members, they JUST HAVE TO invite. So we agreed on a bigger wedding, but parents suppose to pay. We searched for a wedding venue and estimated a cost for 90 guest (less then 30 where from my side of the family), but everyone was happy about it (including me at this point)
They all agreed for the costs except my mom, who was widowed for 10 years at this point and couldn't afford it. So I offered I'll cover her part myself. I was working abroad and sending most of my money to my future wife and let her organize everything and trusted with wathever she was doing with that money. A few months before the wedding was due and I came back to my country I discovered my money covered the whole wedding. Her parents ghosted the subject.
That marriage didn't hold up. I calculated how much money I've put into the wedding just because of my ex-mother-in-law's delusional thinking and I'm still goddamn mad at this waste of money.
Also... only 20 members of my family showed up against 60 of hers (that totally had to be invited) and the ratio of money in the envelopes from both sides was still 50-50. I'm even more mad.
Similar story. Me and my husband wanted small ceremony with immediate family - parents and siblings only. We lived together for 8 years so why not make it official. We paid for everything ourselves and wanted to invest money in a new apartment instead of big wedding party. So, some time later we found out that my MIL started to invite people behind our backs to the wedding. She thought we will give in, but my husband called every relative she invited and explained, that wedding is only for parents and siblings to attend and this is what we want. (To be honest, we wanted to marry without any ceremony at all.) In the end my husband had a huge fight with his mother and she didn't came to wedding. *edited, because english is my second language.
I did have video and im glad but I wished I’d splurged on a better videographer so I agree on that especially if you’re doing a micro wedding or know people won’t be able to come who matter to you.
My husband and I gave our vows to a trusted friend to review and she gave us feedback about how to align them better.
Invited everyone back to our new house to bbq. Was exhausted after the wedding then had to cook for 50+ people. Who talked all night wouldn’t leave and trashed our house. The next day we cleaned all day long.
Our family’s rarely get together so we wanted to make it a big family thing. We have never done it again lol.
Seems like most people's regret can be drilled down into doing what their parents wanted them to do.
Mine is. I wanted a very small wedding. A friend to marry us and then a group of friends going out to a restaurant. My mom pressured us into having a wedding. I told her I would do it as long as she handled everything. She did for the most part, but I still got more involved than I wanted to. She told me that I would regret it, as she had had a courthouse wedding and regretted hers. Almost 30 years later, the only thing I regret is not going ahead with my first plan. People are different, and I know I wouldn't have regretted that choice. The funny thing is, that even though my wedding was still relatively small and simple, she said afterwards she wished I would have eloped.
Having one. The marriage was enough for us but we were pressured into having a wedding. It was fine, I guess, but I wish we would have just gone on a better, longer honeymoon.
We wanted a court wedding with just our families but as it was literally the last wedding before our nephews (currently 5 and 7 years old) are old enough to get married, every one from both families and relatives wanted a grand wedding. It was fun but yeah all the money we spent, could have been used for something important.
I actually had a fantastic wedding. We got married in Vegas at the Luxor hotel. All we had to do is show up and say “I do”. Pics were easy, ceremony was easy, buffet after was easy. It took about 15 minutes and because it was a destination wedding, we only had very close family and friends there. Total cost was under $5k including flights. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Giving in and allowing children to attend. They interrupted the ceremony, broke shit at the reception, stained my husband's vest, etc.
Trusting my MIL to not fuck things up. Never trust crazy people.
If you ban children from being involved in your wedding, you must realize that some parents belong to that category.
Getting a s****y photographer my mom recommended (someone from her church). As we're taking pre-wedding pictures (part of the wedding picture package), I asked him during one of the breaks what got him into photography. He answered "it's just something to do while I try to open my restaurant". That should've been the red flag.
Going into labor.
Haha!! Babies definitely pick their moment. I hope it went well and your child's timing has got a bit better! ;-)
Well, not the wedding day precisely, but the next day. A) F**k Carnival cruises and B) What idiot books their honeymoon travel requiring them to get up at 6am the day after the wedding? Oh wait. Us. We're the idiots.
Other than that, my wife is a phenomenal planner so our only real regret day-of (and after..) was relying on other people for key points of transportation. My best man was an hour late picking me up (unclench, I planned on being their hours early to help the vendors set up, so I wasn't anywhere close to late for the wedding); then my parents were late getting us to the airport for our honeymoon flight and we almost missed a) the flight and b) the bus to the cruise line because of delays.
Shout out to the limo driver with the 1920s rolls who was driving my wife and the bridesmaids/MIL before the wedding (and the two of us after) though, he and the car were top notch.
Things we did not regret:
* Not overspending on flowers. Our florist was **AMAZING** at working within a fairly tight budget - giving her a dollar range and very general color theme instead of demanding specific flowers paid ***incredible*** dividends. She was able to build amazing displays that weren't very expensive at all and tied in beautifully to the venue. The only thing my wife really had her heart set on was mango calla lillies for her bridal bouquet, but we gave orange roses to the bridesmaids and everything looked brilliant.
* Getting the drink upgrade package. Venue specific but the difference between full open bar vs 3 bottles of wine on each table and cash bar was like $3 per guest. Kindof a no brainer.
* Venue. To each their own, but if you're near any kind of wine country, it's shocking how reasonable prices are for events - competition in a free market occasionally does work for consumers. Rustic stacked-stone barrelhouse with outdoor string lighting, full catering and the ambience of a vineyard in late September, all for about $10k all-inclusive. Beat the hell out of the local golf courses, elks lodge, and other venues we looked at in terms of both absolute price and what we got for our money.
* A great DJ. Seriously, whoever DJs is going to be more than half of the time your guests remember. Get some personality and someone you can count on to *lead* the event. (I had a slight advantage there since I used to work as an event DJ and hired the guy i used to work for.).
Then? I would say not giving more money for booze upfront because we ran out and my in-laws quietly added $2,000 to the bar tab during the reception, which I’m sure cut into their fun a bit.
Now? The groom.
Same. 100% the groom. Had the most perfect wedding. Actually don't regret that... best wedding ever... except the groom. Can still recall that first big red flag waving frantically and me ignoring it, and the next, and the next. Can also recall thinking about divorce the morning of the wedding. Took 15 years to unravel that disastrous union. Later married the right man with a smaller unique wedding. No regrets there.
Getting married publicly and changing my name. I only wanted a court house wedding and desperately wanted to keep my name. My x would only marry me if those conditions were met. I should have known then.
Not eloping and leaving my mother-in-law in the dark. I could have had hair and makeup done. Could have had the dress of my dreams. And may even have pictures on my walls from a day I loved.
I had none of those things and it still hurts.
Interesting how quite a few say they regret *not eloping*, but so far nobody said they regret doing it.
Oh, we do regret not eloping. We went with small ceremony instead but the drama was there, ughh...
Getting married in A church. it was OK and didn't ruin our day at all, both of are parents are Catholic, and it just made everything easier to make out parents happy, but It got weird when they asked us to promise to have children and we were like no. we had a ceremony that meant nothing to us, for our parents, and a reception for us after.
We compromised and got married in a ruined church by the sea by a Humanist celebrant. I'm Jewish, he's undecided and his family is super Catholic. Luckily, they are accepting of me and the way our kids are being raised.
Not a blessed thing.
Got married with plain silver bands ($16 ea.) at the courthouse ($50) and went out for chili dogs at Dairy Queen after. Be 10 years ago this coming summer.
If both parties are in agreement with this sort of wedding, it's probably going to last. It's your wedding, do what YOU want.
Having a cake because you "have to have a cake."
Our dinner was fairly late and came with desert, and then an hour later there was cake that literally everyone was to full to eat.
Nothing. My wife and I eloped with one guest in attendance, the officiant, and a photographer. I wouldn’t change anything that we did. No drama, no stress.
Including religious elements, and Biblical readings, out of tradition. I also thought my family expected it. Really wish we would’ve left that out.
Also, inviting most of my extended family.
Not renting my wedding dress. What a huge waste of mo eye to look great for 2 hours. Besides I had a boy so couldn't even pass it down.
My wife and I had a couple try and crash our wedding during the reception. Looking back I might have just let them stay.
My wedding was a month ago, so I've taken the time to let the dust settle before making this post. I wanted to recap my learnings in hopes that it's useful to anyone out there.
Overall, I had a fantastic covid era wedding. It was held at a beautiful, premiere location and my guests told me how much they loved everything. Guest enjoyed a five course dinner in a beautiful garden setting, with a great live band and magician.
My virtual guests got to witness the ceremony via the Lovecast App - which is truly AMAZING. It's so easy, very high quality and they got throw virtual rice. I highly recommend this app to anyone wanting distant guests to partake on the festivities. I wish I had it running the whole time to be honest with you.
Now here are my regrets...I didn't get to enjoy my wedding at all (and I didn't get to relive it in an enjoyable way). :-(
So, firstly, REALLY REALLY consider getting a videographer. My initial budget for AV was sizeable, so I could afford a boutique photographer, but I felt bad to push for a videographer as well. As my husband is working right now and I'm not....I wish I followed my instincts because as a bride I missed every important moment that mattered to me. I had a surprise set up for my groom before walking down the aisle, and no one took video of it. Even my volunteer camera person, who was filming with the app, filmed the floor half the time. The reality is, you cannot replace a professional with an amateur (and I'd know because I have an AV background).
All the video and pictures I got back from my guests were AWFUL. Im talking videos of me eating, videos up my nose...just awful. This is going to happen, so if you want lasting memories, do not skimp on your AV. If the emotions and the sounds matter to you, video is the way to go. Photography is also important, but its a different product.
Secondly, I did too much DIY. I did almost everything from my make up, to the cake, to the florals...I practiced and planned ahead but I was so exhausted going into my day. If you can afford it (and we really could but I am too financially cautious) always hire out for any tasks that need to be done close to the wedding. Take the day off before your wedding to decompress. No one should break the bank for their wedding, BUT don't compromise on important things, because you will be reminded by those pictures and videos on how you comprised yourself.
Thirdly, if you are getting a budget wedding dress, don't share it with anyone. Because everyone has an opinion (sometimes a rude one), and it will make you doubt yourself. Not all of us can have that bridal, say yes to the dress moment, so just enforce, "keep your opinions to yourself moment".
Finally, if you choose to write your own vows, make sure you clearly state an outline of expectations for each vow. Give it a word count and a deadline. According to my officiant, everyone waits last minute to write their vows (as did we). I ended up with a long heartfelt essay and surprise presentation for my groom; and he wrote maybe 3 lines...I felt disappointed. So be clear with expectations.
Anyways, hopefully you all can learn from my mistakes and have the most wonderful wedding experience. May your big days be filled with joy and love!
I absolutely adored my wedding.
If I would change one thing though, it would have been to hire a hair and makeup artist. My MIL did my hair and it was fine and I did my own makeup and it was fine, but I wish I had just let myself spend that little bit extra on myself looking back. Even though we did get caught in the rain so it all would have been ruined the same either way haha. Made for a fabulous waterfall photo though!
Not eloping. I just had a no frills courthouse wedding, it did the job, but the magistrate was really serious. it might have been better it was some Elvis impersonator.
A friend of my wife used to date an Elvis impersonator until she figured out he was also a boy friend impersonator.
Not wearing sunscreen. As it turns out the rules don’t change because it’s a special day.
A few of our guests were caught out on our beautifully sunny wedding day in Scotland! They just hadn't expected it.
The closest thing to a regret that I can muster about that day was drinking the previous night. I had a rule of no shots. I broke that rule. As a result, I upheld the proud tradition of being borderline dead on my feet and made it through the ceremony on little more than gumption and the matrimonial equivalent to [stage health.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stage%20Health).
Making sure I said hi to everyone. I remember a table with my husband's aunt and cousin who I had never met and as I walked past I realized later they were getting ready for me to come over and say hi. I had just got done walking away from my step-mom who was causing all kinds of drama and it didn't dawn on me until later that I didn't make sure I said hi to them. It was a very small wedding and I said hi to a lot of them but I know I missed a few and regret it.
Oh, and ignoring all drama. I had an amazing night but I should have ignored my step-mom and I should have made my maid of honor take a cab instead of being her DD on my wedding night.
Played pickup basketball with wedding guests the morning of. Played too competitively in like 90+ degree heat; everyone who played was just too gassed to keep the party going late night.
Don't do the box cameras on the tables thing, that you develop later. Be glad you have a camera in your hand at all times, instead of this disaster.
We developed, this pile of anonymous cameras, and to say we didn't expect what we saw would be an understatement.
All this ties in together:
The wedding package fee went on my credit card, when my husband could have easily paid for it in cash, as he'd just received a large settlement that I encouraged him to pursue. I could have reimbursed him with payments for my half. I'm still struggling with the interest.
Also, I reluctantly agreeing to a more expensive package than I wanted, so that he could invite a lot of family--most of which cancelled due to Covid (March 2020). The cancellations took place last minute, leaving no time to find replacement guests that we had wanted to invite, but couldn't because of space.
My husband's parents thoughtfully sent a large monetary gift as a wedding present. My husband assumed he was going to keep the funds to do as he wished. Eventually, I spoke up and asked for a portion to help cover my credit card costs, but by then the interest had done a lot of damage. I should have spoken up sooner when it became obvious he wasn't going to send over any to my account.
To sum everything up: I wish I would have put common sense ahead of my romantic feelings, and looked out for my own interests better. I've taken a hit to my credit score that could have been avoided if the planning had gone better.
Rushing through it. I had all the things we "needed" to do as a checklist in my brain and I was just going through checking them off instead of enjoying all the moments. Now I see pictures and remember the little moments (thankful for a wonderful photographer who was also a friend), but I do wish I had done it at the time.
For some god unknown reason my mother recommended my dad and I dance to “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler on the Roof. I was in a hurry and took her word for it. OMFG what I wouldn’t give to just dance to literally anything but...longest a*s song, I was visibly in pain.
Not losing the 20 lbs i was suppose to lose.
Only an issue if you bought a dress/suit a smaller size than you are. Your future spouse loves you as you are and not what you would like if you were 20lbs lighter. If they only love you as 20lbs lighter, you shouldn’t be marrying them!
Letting the guy who owned the place where we had our reception order the cake. He asked if we wanted whipped cream or marzipan, we said marzipan and the cake we got was whipped cream. Excellent cake so no biggie but we should have gone to a bakery ourselves.
I forgot to tell my vegetarian friends there were more options for them, they just needed to ask. They were actually really surprised there were already so many things they could have and didn't feel like they missed anything.
I felt vaguely guilty, even though they were happy as it was.
Other than that, well, the only not great things were out of my control.
I thought I wouldn’t want it, but now I wish I had hired a videographer. My pictures are amazing, but I would have liked to be able to watch it.
I have a couple of things I’d change... in no particular order;
Not putting disposable cameras on the guests tables. Cheesy I know, but it would have been great to have some pictures of things I missed.
Videographer. My mother was adamant this was the way, and I thought I knew better. Sadly, at lot of things happened on the day spur of the moment which I remember now, but who knows in 10 years time.
Evening guests. I wish I’d upgraded my evening guests that I was on the fence about to day guests and been done away with the rest. We had some amazing people show up, but when the evening portions is 6/7 hours into the swing of the day, a new group of arrivals really did slow the pace. Plus, you want to show your appreciation to them for coming, but as they’re on a different level, you’re not all in the same headspace and you need to say how ‘lovely’ the day was and how much fun you’d had.
Go with your gut on a photographer. I loved out photographer, I didn’t/don’t love our photos. Just because some one is awesome, doesn’t mean you will get the end result you desire. Spend some time scrutinising their work to make sure you get what YOU want.
Disposable cameras? What a waste. Is this the dark ages? Have your guests upload their photos to a designated site.
Love this list! I regret choosing a photographer who was both a friend and had done work previously for my FIL. My friend typically did studio work, this was his first wedding. During the reception, FIL had photographer take a bunch of photos not on my list of just his immediate family in different groupings. After the wedding, my FIL (who is always an a*s) called him and had the proofs dropped off at his business, where his wife and all the kids (except my husband) worked. They not only saw all my photos first, they wrote on the backs of them what photos they wanted to order and then stacked the proofs, allowing ink to bleed onto the front of some photos. They called my husband to pick them up. Photographer had told me he would print all the proofs so I could frame those if I wanted, and would give me the negatives to print more sizes for myself. I was so angry when I saw what they did, I never ordered any prints for them or allowed them access to my negatives.
My wife and I were lucky enough to be able to elope on a beach in Kauai. We had an officiant and hired the woman who made our leis to take pictures with a camera I provided. No guests, just us and the officiant and the photographer. Six months later we had a big party in my sister's backyard. No stress and the focus was on actually getting married and was not conflated with the wedding. Also, it was fun to surprise everybody :D
Love this list! I regret choosing a photographer who was both a friend and had done work previously for my FIL. My friend typically did studio work, this was his first wedding. During the reception, FIL had photographer take a bunch of photos not on my list of just his immediate family in different groupings. After the wedding, my FIL (who is always an a*s) called him and had the proofs dropped off at his business, where his wife and all the kids (except my husband) worked. They not only saw all my photos first, they wrote on the backs of them what photos they wanted to order and then stacked the proofs, allowing ink to bleed onto the front of some photos. They called my husband to pick them up. Photographer had told me he would print all the proofs so I could frame those if I wanted, and would give me the negatives to print more sizes for myself. I was so angry when I saw what they did, I never ordered any prints for them or allowed them access to my negatives.
My wife and I were lucky enough to be able to elope on a beach in Kauai. We had an officiant and hired the woman who made our leis to take pictures with a camera I provided. No guests, just us and the officiant and the photographer. Six months later we had a big party in my sister's backyard. No stress and the focus was on actually getting married and was not conflated with the wedding. Also, it was fun to surprise everybody :D
