Jimmy Fallon Asks People To Share The “Cold” Insults They’ve Gotten And They Deliver (30 Tweets)
Jimmy Fallon is at it again. For this week's Hashtags segment, he asked the viewers of The Tonight Show to share their most memorable #ThatWasCold moments. And oh sweet shiny glacier, were they chilling. From two-year-olds shaming their "pregnant" fathers for their bellies to mothers questioning whether their children have friends and beyond. These remarks were so brutal, the good intentions behind them were quickly overshadowed by the savage deliveries.
Scroll down, upvote your favorites, and be sure to check our earlier Jimmy Fallon's Hashtags #WeddingFail, #TextFail, and #FitnessFail.
Watch Jimmy Fallon read these hilarious tweets in the video below
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Well, you do have spare cash for extra tip...
Load More Replies...Me too. I wouldn't complain too much, a discount is a discount
Load More Replies...To be fair to the waitress- I've had patients who I'd have sworn were in their 40s who were in their late 20s. I've had patients who were in their 60s who I'd have thought at most were 40. People age differently- never assume their age. If they ask you to guess, don't. Unless you're really good at getting out of bad situations. It's really friggin hard to guess how old some people are, and I've yet to meet someone who's actually good at guessing ages correctly. Good rule of thumb is to always guess low.
Yes, but 40 is not a senior. Looking 40 at 35 is not too bad, but looking like senior... Kids can be so harsh. They have no clue.
Load More Replies...Hosting the highest-rated US late-night talk show of 2018 has obviously done wonders for his online fanbase. Currently, Fallon has a whopping 51.5M following on Twitter, making his account the 19th most popular one on the entire site.
Donald Trump has also helped Jimmy’s Twitter account to get attention. Back in June, Trump attacked Fallon for apologizing for having the now-President on his chat show and playfully ruffling his hair. Trump told Fallon to “be a man.”
Oh, and if you're wondering, Barack Obama is the most followed person on Twitter with 110.2M. With the presidency now behind him, Obama mostly tweets about work being done by his Obama Foundation and other activities.
Can't imagine not responding "yeah, things were more rosy 8y ago".
My daughter's 7 and can make her own sandwich. Blew us away the first time she did it because we had no idea. Your daughter can do the same.
Wow, no offense, but at 7 I was expected to already know how to make my own sandwich.... It's the age we start school in my country.
Load More Replies...Then whisper back, "that's why I am dropping you off at orphanage next."
Lol! I had a similar moment when I was teaching swim to little kids. A little girl edith ethnically dark skin asked, "teacher, why are you wearing tights in the pool?" I'm not wearing tights, I told her. "Yes, you are, your legs are white!" In her world you don't get snow white appendages without tights.
Well, to be fair she probably had much less prior experience with people with pale skin than the Uber driver
Load More Replies...Walked the street in shorts on the first summery day earlier this year. Some guys across the street: "WOOOOH, you're so white! Why are your legs that white?!". XD (just for the imaging: these guys were black). I think this must be one of the weirder experiences I've had while walking my neighbourhood. XD
The correct comeback will be, "I will just act like you did"
Ow! But good for him to have a clear view on his possible baldi-sh future!
"She thought" . Apparently she had a change of mind and made you
You never know - maybe she never changed her mind! :D Accidents happen, you know...
Load More Replies...My mom said she didn't understand why I was thinking about having a third child. She said 2 would do. I am the third child.
My grand mother had 5 kids. She often says that if pill had been legal at that time, she would only have two or 3 and definitivly not 3 kids in 3 years (with the first one still wearing diapers, at a time you had to wash them...by hand for most people. She only had a washing machine after the 3rd birth and it wasn't even wringing). She ended up with an organ descent and health problems. Still, she's a caring and proud mother, grand mother and great grand mother. She did her best with what she had. She doesn't say that she regrets her fate, she just appreciates the progress made and the fact that we have now a better controle on our conception. Maybe that's the case here, even if it's not pleasant to hear.
Order a pizza and angry eat it all by yourself. Revenge is a dish best serve empty.
My daugter (3): Mummy, this meal is yummy. It's tasteless!
Suits me FINE! When I was a good cook, everyone wanted to eat at my house. When I became a bad cook, I get taken out to dinner!
That’s when you order their favorite take out, just enough for yourself, and eat it in front of them guilt free. Hey, they said they didn’t need to eat.
Did you say 'thanks, many people said my dad is very handsome man'
Load More Replies...I’m a teacher and we usually have a photoshoot for the yearbook every year. I get my hair done, I wear heavier makeup, and I am usually told (even by my parents) that ‘You look so pretty, I hardly recognized you...’ Thanks.😐
Someone once said to me: "you're a nice girl, but your sister is fantastic!" nevermind that I was twenty five at the time and also have a pretty deep inferiority complex because I've always felt less than my sister.
When my sister and I were young, (she was 15 and I was 20), our hairdresser said to my sister, "What's it like being Laurie's older sister?" She replied, "I'm the younger sister." He said, "Oh, you're so exotic, and Laurie is so cute. I just assumed. Don't tell her I said that." Of course, she proudly told me and laughing her head off. Years later, she was 35 and I was 40, someone said something about her being the older sister again. I snickered, "Being exotic gets old, but cute is always cute. Exotic has come back to bite you in the butt." (Yes, I hung onto the bitterness for many years.Lol) Her reply, "Dang it! I hate being exotic!"
A coworker of mine, when he met me with my sister in town, actually said "your sister is so much prettier than you". I was like, "I know".
Kids hear everything. If I bring up my daughter, she materializes like magic.
Parents are often much louder and less sneaky than they think they are.
Load More Replies...My daughter was a "surprise" and my son was planned. During an argument, he yelled at her "At least I'm not an accident!! Mom and dad WANTED me!!" Without missing a beat, she says "Well everyone makes a bad decision here and there" LOL
god i hate when my guardians think they can talk c**p about me, so when i pop up out of that corner and scare the beejezus out of them... they know they had it coming
You're right, it was about his childhood, with a very strong emphasis on his ... and apparently the book is more fiction than a biography
Load More Replies...On "Game of Thrones" that would be a compliment, especially if your death were particularly horrendous.
Just what I thought, the favorite character dies soon. [I missed Ed so much :'( ]
Load More Replies..."I told this story to my best friend, and she said: Who are you?"
Load More Replies..."Daddy's having a baby." "How do you know?" "His tummy is big". "You want a sister or brother?" "A sister, but I think he's having a elephant." "An elephant?!?" "Uh huh. It's nose is hanging out"
Once, one of my mom’s close friends from another city about an hours’ drive away. She was visiting my mom because my mom was pregnant. You know, mom stuff. And so she finally comes, she gets some dinner, and then she goes, “Wow, congratulations, ***! Can’t believe you’re going for another!!” (This was my mom’s fourth so far) and I walked right up and looked at both their bellies. My mom was about three-fourths of the way there. I just looked straight at mom’s friend and go: “Oh, wait, ok. So you guys are both super pregnant?! Cool!” I was about six. Mom’s friend was not pregnant. She left shortly after. I feel really bad about it now... she drives for an hour to be called fat by a little kid.
At least she was implying that it was the picture, and not you, that was ugly.
Load More Replies...Oh my husband and I took a dmv picture the same day he went and the attendant was all giddy with him took the picture and said great. My turn comes up the attendant tells me to get ready I place my bag down stare at the camera, he says okay so I grab my bag thinking it's done realize a flash is going off and do my thinking face (biting my lip inward with a frown) and when he says the picture say that's okay I guess. When I went to take my driving test the lady who opened my file said oh that will not do and retook my picture. I really appreciate the second lady but that day I was sick and looked a mess not thinking a picture would be involved now I only go to the dmv looking descent 😝
I’m the proud owner of every questionable driver’s license photo I could get away with for the last 3 decades. It really warms my heart to see that impressive look of confusion on the TSA agent’s face when they are trying to match that picture with my face.
I feel sorry for kids born this close to Christmas. For adults, if they say so, you can get them presents fro both holidays at once, but NOT FOR KIDS!
Someone better keep happy millionaires away from me or I’ll resort to cannibalism
Load More Replies...My kids would say the same, natural born carnivores, not to be bribed, tricked or nagged into vegetables :D
They sound like really healthy children.
Load More Replies...Childhood birthday party at my best friend. All boys, except me. It was a medieval themed party. All the boys were dressed up as knights. My friends' mom had me dress up as a princess and I hated it but was too shy to say anything. :-( (I guess she REALLY wanted a daughter... :') ).
Me: wearing make up, which I didn't frequently do. Three-year-old daughter: mama you look so pretty! You look like a princess. Me: oh, sweetheart, that's so nice. Thank you! Three-year-old: you're too fat to be a princess.
Then be WICKED! Evil is far more interesting and has many faces. Good only has one.
There is a thin line between teasing and bullying, especially when one person has authority over the other.
I have a friend who has had the same thing happen to her. The teacher is nice though and he does it as a joke.
right? Six year old students have not learned about apostrophe's for possession.
Load More Replies...I'm always amazed when someone as old as you has never heard of tact.
We discussed this in a human development course in college. Everything is on a bell curve. Appearance and Intelligence happened to be the focus. The bell curve explains why two highly intelligent people can produce children of average or below average intelligence, or why two average looking people can produce children who are attractive. It was really quite interesting. The world trying to create balance.
Happened in my family. I was the pretty one and my eldest sister was the brainy one. We both felt insulted.
And you had every right to be. It's not fair to be reduced like that, especially not as a kid or a teenager, and especially not by their own parents
Load More Replies...Yeah, that's way too familiar. And parents wonder why their kids grow up feeling "less than...."
As a teacher, I see this in kids a lot. They will view themselves through the labels that their parents have assigned to them.
My mother would always tell me "see, that's why you're my favorite" ... I'm an only child ...
You’re right mom! He did! Jerk threw up all over me, you’re favorite! We should punish him!
"Too bad I'm the one picking the nursing home" would have been my reply.
This is a standard insult, "You have a face for radio, and a voice for newspapers."
This is not necessarily an insult. I have a classmate that participated in a discussion and the teacher just paused after he spoke. She said "Has anyone ever mentioned you have a wonderful voice?" He said "No." Then another classmate said "Every time I hear his voice, I think like I'm listening to a DJ on the radio." He perks up "Really?" I reply with "Alternate career choice, dude." He smiled.
Blind? No (maybe thinking about Ray Charles?). But dead since 30years, yes.
Actually, he had very poor vision (not completely blind) "All the Orbison children had poor eyesight; Roy used thick corrective lenses from an early age." he started wearing the sunglasses "After leaving his thick eyeglasses on an airplane in 1963, while on tour with the Beatles, Orbison was forced to wear his prescription Wayfarer sunglasses on stage and found that he preferred them." I don't know if he was albino or not but "He was self-conscious about his appearance and began dyeing his nearly-white hair black when he was still young".
Load More Replies...For years, people thought Roy was blind because he always wore dark glasses.
He obviously forgot how to have fun. He should have been chasing you having fun.
He is a s****y dad. Blaming his son's existence for all his life miseries. Sure raising a child takes great toll but if you're unhappy with your life, its your fault.
Evil dad. I'm glad this person made it to adulthood despite his horrible dad.
The stories I could tell about the horrible things my dad has said to me.
Well, he didn't have to be a jerk about it, but he's not necessarily wrong. One of the best things that ever happened to me was doing a year abroad where I didn't know anyone. I made an active decision to pretend to be an outgoing person since there wasn't anyone around to think it was strange. Eventually, it wasn't pretending anymore and I was able to shed a lifetime of shyness that way!
Or, assuming the dad's right about the personality thing, it's going to be obvious to everyone the kid meets
It's an old joke (maybe even from Jimmy Fallon too? i don't exactly remember) that went around the internet, the "game" was to text your friends or family and ask them how to microwave a turkey for thanksgiving, and then screenshot the response.
Load More Replies...Who has a microwave big enough to fit 25lb turkey? Do they even make microwave this size?
It's sad she has the impression that only makeup would make someone look pretty...
Kid might know what she's talking about, you haven't seen the woman.
Load More Replies...Ben Smith - needless to say it appears to you. Cause you're the only one here who understands and knows things. I'm so proud of you, kid.
It is sad, but I get it all the time, even from women. I've been asked if I'm sick before if I've worn no makeup too!
Pure logic : make up is often used to make your eyes look bigger, or your skin look less pale, etc. If you wear it around people all the time, it becomes your default face in their minds. So, suddenly seeing you with smaller eyes makes you look tired, for example. At least they care enough to worry :-)
Load More Replies...I hate when doctors insult you because of your weight, and make you feel bad about it.
I had a doctor make fun of my weight once and cruelly. Inever saw him again.
I had a doctor that was an a*s like this. He lectured me about how many calories are in a cake slice, assuming I eat sweets because I am fat. No, jerk, how about treating my rampant hypothyroidism so that the hour i spend in the gym and hours i spend on healthy eating actually freaking pay off?
My PCP (in his upper 60s) at my (in my lower 30s) latest physical: "Well you're too petty to weigh that much."
"Whoah! Whoah! Take it slow fella, You think I'm having an easy time seeing that face?"
Ouch, she could have retorted "But I am at least not arguing with Shrek."
That's not cold - some people aren't good at marriage. Doesn't make you a crappy person.
When I was a kid, my mom decided to make real, homemade macaroni and cheese so that I could try "the good stuff". I told her to please just make the box mac from now on. 😂 Joke's on me now though, I'd love for her to make it again but now she doesn't cook such high-fat things!
Load More Replies...I said this to a guy once at a restaurant "You look familiar." He stopped eating, looked right at me with the most serious of faces and said "I do porn." Turned out he was a caller at the local Eagles Club on Bingo Night...lol.
Did you play a janitor on One Life to Live? She may have been confusing reality with TV. (I know next to nothing about soap operas, btw)
well... maybe hear his version. Maybe the 'crush' wasn't very subtle. Or maybe he was a d*ck.
Load More Replies...Should have told him if he was that desperate for extra money he should get a part time job.
It is probably a good thing to be scary as a teacher in 3rd grade.
Hahaha ,children. They'll surprise you with the most unquestioned question there is in life. LOL
Then my great grandfather my grandpas father died in his sleep from cancer his heart just gave out
Load More Replies...I don't see it as sad. I see it as his wife and kids trying to cheer him up with their own little jabs of humor. Pretty sure there was no ill-will at play here.
Load More Replies...No, you were just being a jerk to your friend
Load More Replies...It looks beautiful. Maybe she just wouldn't have done it because colored hair isn't her style. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You said "awesome stylist" btw, so you were excuding her to begin with ;p
My friend: I’ve got a joke that’ll make you laugh your tits off! Oh - I see you’ve already heard it.
We called that "first-year syndrome". Not terribly nice to draw attention to it, dad!!
If she was adult at that time, I see a point in not giving unrealistic ideas about the current level. of talent , if indeed bad . (Sometimes people say polite and nice things about bad singing voice, painting skills etc to be kind and sooner or later reality hits) But it needs to be said with empathy and diplomatic, not full front attack.
My son asked me when my husband and I started dating. I said 1998. His eyes got huge and he said "you knew dad back in the nineteen hundreds?!?!"
I once had a physics teacher who would lecture us on how back when he was our age he didn't have a calculator at school, so I whispered to my seatmate: "Yeah, back in 1840 calculators weren't really a thing!" He starts to laugh insanely loudly, and once the teacher asked him what's so funny he said: "Well, Markus just said, like, some year" *sshole!
There is a Joke, we use it a lot in India. Husband after seeing a bunch of monkeys - To Wife - See there is your Family. Wife - Yes, In laws!!
We use that all the time with all kind of animals but never meant as assault
I got a bob like 2 years ago(in 7th grade) and my sister said i look like a troll and my family started making fun of me for everything else and i was just sitting there sobbing so :-/
Load More Replies...They were a group and that's the name of their song. It was terrible so spare yourself for Googling it!
Load More Replies...I dont know why you got downvoted, you are absolutely right
Load More Replies...That just means you aren't wasting time on Facebook - which of course I would never do either. I have Bored Panda for that. I thank you bored Panda!!
I have facebook and only use it to answer what is sent to me.I correspond with friends by e-mail or letter.
He remembered and recognised you,not bad...hope you answered «I had an epiphany«
Your mother has/had a wicked sense of humour...my father on my first try at eye-shadow«OMG!when did you last wash your face..you have fungus growing on your eyes«?!
If you are a musician get used to criticism. B.A. in Piano, M.A, Ph.D in Music. I was practicing for a solo piano concert. I had 20 years of teaching and 40 years of performing under my belt. Hot shot neighbor dropped by to see a house mate and asked me, "How are the lessons coming along?"
Some people are - I have a friend who is fantastic to tease. She takes it really well and finds it as funny as we do. We never get nasty though, it's pleasant teasing, not taunting.
Have you really asked her how she feels about it? Sometimes people are hurt but they just don't know how to convey it.
Load More Replies...That's a regift..someone was a jackass for giving that to you. What a cheapskate...
That´s not a friend...if she was she should have admired it,fake or not.
Not necessarily rude. Some people are just uncomfortable about saying "I love you"
My husband once got a call from a telemarketer asking "Is your mommy home?" He replied in the best 3 year old voice "No..she..uh..she *what?..she says she went to the store. Okay..bye!" And hung up....
Being thought of as younger than your age is something you'll only appreciate later in life!
No. A 25 year old said this to me recently when I was complaining about still being ID'd everywhere except my local shops (legal age for booze and f**s is 18). I'm 32.
Load More Replies...Why insecure women always want to be known as younger is silly. Like the mom who called her baby: "My Little Man." Let him be a kid. And when women are 50, don't ber ashamed. Madison Avenue has made women hate themselves & women bought into it w/Botox & plastic surgery. Get real. Be real. Stop pretending.
At a party, some boys told me: You're so short! You look like your in 3rd grade! Pokemon is stupid, grow up already! ect. I threw my shoes at them and hit them with my purse. I get angry, then, I get even. Then I cry cause I accidentally threw my shoe over the fence.
I once informed someone that I'm half Mexican. He said, "That's ok, you don't look Mexican." wtf.
Once i was messing around with my little sister, my dad walked in and said "hey, be careful with her, she's the only one with potential anymore." Another time my older brother was telling our little sister that she needed to go to bed to get her beauty sleep. then he pointed to me and said, "as you can see Cadence hasn't been getting much of that lately"
I was at a funeral once my mom of course being a chatty kathy with her relatives was bragging about my kids. She asked me to show one of her cousins a picture of them, her cousin says "oh wow they're so beautiful" I said "Thanks! they get a lot of it from my husbands side, he's from South America" She turned away so fast I couldn't even blink
god, why are people such a******s? aren't you tired of it? don't you just want to be nice sometimes?
My name is Dana and a friend asked why my parents picked that one, I said "They wanted something pretty but not weird" Another friend calls out "well they got the opposite with you!"
When my mom announced her second pregnancy to her parents my grandmother told her and dad "Don't make the same mistake we did!". My mom is her second child. Ironically my little brother is her favourite grandchild.
I was around 11 or 12 and my Dad took me shoe shopping. The ONLY thing I remember about that day is Dad remarking to the salesman (as my feet were big for my age) "oh, just sell us 2 boxes and she can wear 'em home." OK, one little ouch moment from the best daddy in the whole world, and trust me, I've gotten lots of mileage on that one. :D
My mum and I were talking about an acquaintance. The woman had extremely deep creases on her face. I said that I hadn't realised I was a few years older than her, and I'd read that being bigger keeps the wrinkles at bay. My son turned around and said to my mum, "Nana, you'd better put some weight on". The twinkle in his eye was the only thing that saved his life.
I walked into someone's house with my two small daughters and the woman said, "What beautiful children. Is your husband the good-looking one?"
I once informed someone that I'm half Mexican. He said, "That's ok, you don't look Mexican." wtf.
Once i was messing around with my little sister, my dad walked in and said "hey, be careful with her, she's the only one with potential anymore." Another time my older brother was telling our little sister that she needed to go to bed to get her beauty sleep. then he pointed to me and said, "as you can see Cadence hasn't been getting much of that lately"
I was at a funeral once my mom of course being a chatty kathy with her relatives was bragging about my kids. She asked me to show one of her cousins a picture of them, her cousin says "oh wow they're so beautiful" I said "Thanks! they get a lot of it from my husbands side, he's from South America" She turned away so fast I couldn't even blink
god, why are people such a******s? aren't you tired of it? don't you just want to be nice sometimes?
My name is Dana and a friend asked why my parents picked that one, I said "They wanted something pretty but not weird" Another friend calls out "well they got the opposite with you!"
When my mom announced her second pregnancy to her parents my grandmother told her and dad "Don't make the same mistake we did!". My mom is her second child. Ironically my little brother is her favourite grandchild.
I was around 11 or 12 and my Dad took me shoe shopping. The ONLY thing I remember about that day is Dad remarking to the salesman (as my feet were big for my age) "oh, just sell us 2 boxes and she can wear 'em home." OK, one little ouch moment from the best daddy in the whole world, and trust me, I've gotten lots of mileage on that one. :D
My mum and I were talking about an acquaintance. The woman had extremely deep creases on her face. I said that I hadn't realised I was a few years older than her, and I'd read that being bigger keeps the wrinkles at bay. My son turned around and said to my mum, "Nana, you'd better put some weight on". The twinkle in his eye was the only thing that saved his life.
I walked into someone's house with my two small daughters and the woman said, "What beautiful children. Is your husband the good-looking one?"

