Jimmy Fallon Asks People To Share The “Cold” Insults They’ve Gotten And They Deliver (30 Tweets)

Guess who's not getting a tip.

Can't imagine not responding "yeah, things were more rosy 8y ago".

Lol! I had a similar moment when I was teaching swim to little kids. A little girl edith ethnically dark skin asked, "teacher, why are you wearing tights in the pool?" I'm not wearing tights, I told her. "Yes, you are, your legs are white!" In her world you don't get snow white appendages without tights.

"Then I'll tell them to go to grandpa and thank him for all the wisdom he bothered to give daddy"

Apparently his retort wasn't the only thing that was cold that day--so was his head.

"She thought" . Apparently she had a change of mind and made you

Order a pizza and angry eat it all by yourself. Revenge is a dish best serve empty.

Yeah, I get 'your mom is so beautiful. And you resemble your dad!'.

Kids hear everything. If I bring up my daughter, she materializes like magic.

SO that's not about your chidlhood then.

And you called that person your friend?

Once, one of my mom’s close friends from another city about an hours’ drive away. She was visiting my mom because my mom was pregnant. You know, mom stuff. And so she finally comes, she gets some dinner, and then she goes, “Wow, congratulations, ***! Can’t believe you’re going for another!!” (This was my mom’s fourth so far) and I walked right up and looked at both their bellies. My mom was about three-fourths of the way there. I just looked straight at mom’s friend and go: “Oh, wait, ok. So you guys are both super pregnant?! Cool!” I was about six. Mom’s friend was not pregnant. She left shortly after. I feel really bad about it now... she drives for an hour to be called fat by a little kid.

I would thank her for saving me from an ugly photo!

I think the mom was only joking. But that kind of joke, to a 4 yo?

You are what you eat.

The 'perfect' world of Disney... :-(

Yet another reason to never talk to people at the gym. Let them workout in peace

That's bullying.

Awesome handwriting for a 6 year old

This reminded me and my family of a similar story. My brother was 4 and was taking a bath with my mom. He asked, “mom, why are your boobies so short?” We laugh about this forty years later for multiple reasons.

I'm always amazed when someone as old as you has never heard of tact.

Happened in my family. I was the pretty one and my eldest sister was the brainy one. We both felt insulted.

That’s cold mom

This is how I ended up working in newspapers...

Blind? No (maybe thinking about Ray Charles?). But dead since 30years, yes.

That is more than cold !

Who needs enemies with a jerk like that for a dad.

Who microwaves a turkey?????

It's sad she has the impression that only makeup would make someone look pretty...

Time to change doctors! :-D

"Whoah! Whoah! Take it slow fella, You think I'm having an easy time seeing that face?"

This wasn't cold, this was gold.

Truth must be spoken

Been there. Kids are amazing.

I said this to a guy once at a restaurant "You look familiar." He stopped eating, looked right at me with the most serious of faces and said "I do porn." Turned out he was a caller at the local Eagles Club on Bingo Night...lol.

That kid's seen some stuff.

Ouch, that's harsh.

How does your mother not recognise your handwriting?

Oooh b****y.....!!

What a d**k.

Thats really cold

How does he know?

Cold asf🤣🤣

Ouch Dad!

Hahaha ,children. They'll surprise you with the most unquestioned question there is in life. LOL

My grandpa finished chemo a couple months ago and he is cancer free!

Hence proved

What were the lines though

You're physics teacher was a twat.

Ooh what a b***h!!

I love the color

Drop that one quick

Well she's saying you don't look like the 'boy' part?

☹️ that’s not very nice

If she was adult at that time, I see a point in not giving unrealistic ideas about the current level. of talent , if indeed bad . (Sometimes people say polite and nice things about bad singing voice, painting skills etc to be kind and sooner or later reality hits) But it needs to be said with empathy and diplomatic, not full front attack.

she probably smelled like a lot of different perfume from being there

Classic kid comeback

There is a Joke, we use it a lot in India. Husband after seeing a bunch of monkeys - To Wife - See there is your Family. Wife - Yes, In laws!!

That's just sad. Why do some parents think it's OK to bully their own kids?

That 5 year old will rule the world someday! :-D

Better than the boring “HAGS”

I don't get it

I would be sorely tempted to exclusively wear those pants.

I had exactly the same, bloody charming!

He remembered and recognised you,not bad...hope you answered «I had an epiphany«