Every Thanksgiving celebration has two sides. One is all about the actual thanks giving, feeling grateful, and sharing these thoughts and the special atmosphere with your family and friends. The other side of the festivity is… Well, it’s your Uncle Jerome with his hairy nostrils, your Aunt Denise with marital advice, and the horde of fussy kids who think that a Thanksgiving meal is just horrible. Peas, peas everywhere! Oh, and don’t forget the fact of inevitable indigestion after you’ve gorged yourself on the turkey (and will continue to do so for a week after). Yet, however slightly unpleasant this side of Thanksgiving might be, as with everything slightly uncomfortable, it is an excellent ground for some good old funny jokes. And you wouldn’t believe just how accurate and relatable some of these Thanksgiving jokes are! That is, until you read them for yourself.
So, yeah, you definitely know what these cool jokes are going to be about. They’re about the aforementioned aunts and uncles, the large alien-looking bird that has settled on your plate now, and all the turmoil that is a regular family gathering. Even if you do all get along, hosting a dinner for, say, ten or twenty people who haven’t seen each other for a good chunk of the year is a happening that will most likely present a funny situation or two, which is then turned into a funny Thanksgiving joke to be shared with future generations. Yet, despite all the hassle and an occasional grumble, Thanksgiving is still one of our most beloved festivities of the year, with an atmosphere of togetherness unmatched by any other.
Anyway, let’s go to the jokes for Thanksgiving, shall we? You guessed it, they are just a bit further down, and you should definitely check them out. Be sure to rank the best Thanksgiving jokes by giving them your vote and share this article with the dinner attendees so you’ll have something to talk about if all else fails!
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What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
What is something that describes both political talk and filling up your plate of food?
Choosing sides.
Mom: "Time to fix Thanksgiving dinner."
Kids: "Why, is it broken?"
Vegetables are a must on a diet even on Thanksgiving.
I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
Only one, but you have to really squeeze him in there.
What instrument does a turkey play?
The drumsticks!
How does a roasted Turkey flirt?
"Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe."
Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving tables?
They're a fowl sight.
What do selfish people call Thanksgiving?
Thankstaking.
Thanksgiving is the only holiday where you eat the mascot.
Uhh.. not Santa, that would be cannibalism, not Jack O' Lanterns, hmm... not leprechauns, not Cupid... National Ice Cream Day! Hah!
I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year.
Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie, but some people say that’s irrational.
I ate an entire pie on Thanksgiving. It was transcendental. I couldn't find my pie tin though, so I made it in a cake pan. My pie are squared
What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner?
Beets me!
I'll have green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and CORN
What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
"Grace."
How can you unlock the greatest Thanksgiving experience ever?
By making sure to bring the tur-key.
With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what's likely to be the most popular side dish?
Masked potatoes.
The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, "Is everything alright over here?"
"No, everything is all leftover here!"
What’s the difference between a cranberry farmer and a pirate?
Pirates bury their treasure and cranberry farmers treasure their berries.
What's the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?
On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.
When did the Pilgrims first say, "God bless America?"
The first time they heard America sneeze.
You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey.
What's one thing that you'll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving?
You'll both be filled with stuffing.
What's something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving?
A family member giving you the bird.
On Thanksgiving, what does Dad have in common with an exhausted baseball player?
They're both likely to fall asleep between plates.
What's the forecast for Thanksgiving, regardless of what the meteorologist says?
Sweater weather.
What did the aunt say to her sulking son on Thanksgiving?
"You're looking a little (Pil)grim."
If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don't lose your head. The turkey already did that for you.
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving for what?
Thanks giving us this turkey.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She turned to the stock boy and asked,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No, ma'am," he replied. "They're dead."
How do you win an argument with your family at Thanksgiving during pandemic?
Hit the “End Meeting” button.
What did the obstetrician say when Thanksgiving was ready?
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving when you cut yourself shaving and you bleed gravy.
Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving?
To get a breast reduction.
My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving?"
Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
"I liked the leftovers before they were cool."
A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.
What happened when the cannibal showed up late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He got the cold shoulder.
What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?
Squash casserole.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
What makes Thanksgiving go as smoothly as possible?
When everyone has been given a designated (casse)role.
How do you tell the difference between turkeys and chickens?
Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth!
Call me whatever you like but jokes at the expense of a once living creature that didn't want to be murdered are disgusting. And all for a holiday that isn't as virtuous as most people think.
Call me whatever you like but jokes at the expense of a once living creature that didn't want to be murdered are disgusting. And all for a holiday that isn't as virtuous as most people think.
