Being in class all day can be quite a demanding activity, both for students and teachers. There are a few ways to make school more adventurous, though. And that’s cracking up laughter in the classroom with funny teacher jokes! Of course, just not when you’re deep in the learning process or are in a serious discussion with your teacher or classmates.
Now, jokes for teachers and jokes for students differ in caliber, and you might need to read the room well to get the best possible reaction. But we’re confident you’ll find the best one-liner for the audience. These jokes for school can range from playfulness with grammar rules, to wild takes of classic math problems. Be it math teacher jokes, literature, history, anything, you name it, we have it.
So if you’re a student and have been wondering what jokes you could tell your teacher, this list is for you. Even if you’re a teacher, you’ll find great comedy gold here to lighten the mood in your class.
So take out your notebook and get ready to write down some great teacher jokes! Share them with your colleagues or classmates and vote for your favorites. Just remember, joke responsibly!
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I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know y.
T: One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?
S: Future impossible tense.
I’ve been working on a Scandinavian joke. But it’s not quite Finnish.
My Latino biz partner intentionally says "sorry, my English isn't looking so good today", and I laugh every time
T: Jimmy, you know you can’t sleep in my class.
S: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars!
T: Little Johnny has 10 cents, 2 dollars and another 7 cents. How much does he have?
S: Clearly, a money problem.
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium and you can’t curium then you’d better barium.
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out of the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now!
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.
What do you call Santa's brothers and sisters?
Relative clauses.
T: Why are you late for school?
S: Because of a sign down the road.
T: What does the sign have to do with you being late?
S: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
Why are seagulls called seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
"Stop going in circles and get to the point."
On the first day of school, what did the teacher say were her three favourite words?
"June, July and August."
In the Periodic Table class, teachers have been warned not to let iron and carbon sit beside each other due to their tendency to steal.
What do you call a ruler, protractor and a compass all hanging out together?
Weapons of math instruction.
My English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass!”
What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
Bach in the saddle again.
Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because the lesson needed to be clear.
T: We will only have a half-day of school this morning…
S: Yay!!!!
T: Then we will have the other half this afternoon.
T: What did you do at the weekend?
S: I did some cooking.
T: Lovely, what did you bake?
S: Synonym rolls just like grammar used to make!
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the first letter and the last.
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Punctuation is important.
A man went into a fish shop and said, “Can I have a tail end, please?”
So the man behind the counter said, "And they all lived happily ever after."
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
5 vowels, 8 consonants, a comma, and an exclamation mark appeared in court today. They’re due to be sentenced some time next month.
I went on holiday last week. I got an odd-job man in, gave him a list of ten jobs to do while I was away. When I got back, he’d only done jobs 1,3,5,7, and 9.
My math teacher asked me why I was doing my sums on the floor.
I said: “You told us to do them without using tables.”
A photon walks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. The photon responds: “No thanks, I’m traveling light.”
Last night I dreamt I wrote The Lord of the Rings. Then I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
Last night my classroom was broken into and all of the dictionaries were stolen. I’m lost for words.
What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”
How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both give out sentences. And they both judge you standing there.
Why is the obtuse triangle upset?
Because he’s never right.
T: Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
S: I is the…
T: Remember you must say "I am" not "I is".
S: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Child: I think we need a new teacher.
Mom: Why’s that?
Child: Our teacher doesn’t know anything! She keeps asking us for the answers…
What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
"Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!"
T: What can you tell me about angle c?
S: Hmm, it’s acute?
T: No, it’s a small island off the north coast of Wales.
Why was the fraction skeptical about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert.
T: Why have you got cotton in your ears? Do you have an infection?
S: Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to keep them it all in!
S: Would you punish me for something I did not do?
T: Of course I would not do that.
S: Great, because I did not do my homework.
T: If I had 8 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in the other hand, what would I have?
S: Big hands!
What if math teachers are pirates and they just want us to find X so they can get the buried treasure?
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of you will get this.
S: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!
T: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you.
T: Didn’t I just tell you to stand at the end of the line?
S: Well, I tried, but there was someone there already.
