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People tend to have a fascination with the rich and famous. Whether you admire them or love to hate them, you’re probably at least a little bit curious about what their lives are really like. The vast majority of us will never know how it feels to walk into a grocery store and buy whatever we want without considering the cost, let alone purchase a car or home without worrying about the price.
So if you’re interested in getting a sneak peek into the lives of the ultra-rich, we’ve got the perfect article for you. Redditors who have been in extremely wealthy and powerful circles have been revealing details about what those elite communities are really like. Enjoy reading through these juicy stories, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find most surprising.
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#1
My ex-wife was in a wealthy family. Her friends were even more wealthy. I'm talking about the kind of wealth where I met a guy who had a room bigger than most people's apartments and it was dedicated to a single Egyptian vase in the middle. (I never asked why) I could tell you all sorts of weird stories.
With that said, what surprised me most about how they operate is that money is literally never a thought to them. Like quite literally.
Pause and take a moment to think about how money for the average person rules much of their life. They worry about bills, groceries, budgeting, etc. Now consider there are people out there who grew up never needing to think about any of that. For all intents and purposes from their perspective everything *feels* free.
Due to this, since money is not a factor, a lot of their thinking is around resources. Who are you connected to, what can you obtain, etc. and boy do they love rarity and exclusivity. That is their essential means of communication at their level.
It's never "how much" it's always "what do you want in exchange". Now that I'm thinking about this out loud, they essentially revert back to traditional barter trade, lol.
I could rant about them all day so I'll stop here.
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#3
Money is just this thing that's there; nobody is really fussed about it - mainly expenses when it comes to going out, or shopping.
It's like having running water - it's there, and perfectly normal.
#4
Worked on Capitol Hill for 2 years. Had a congressperson tell me "We make the rules here, we don't have to follow them". That was 15 years ago, and I haven't forgot.
Edit: Todd Akin was the person.
#5
Went to uni with a girl who had a billionaire father - she thought the average American made a million dollars a year. Told her the number was closer 60k and she glitched out for a sec and said 'that's half of my allowance'
Eye opening chat for everyone involved.
#11
Every extremely wealthy person I have ever personally known was incredibly lazy but thought that they were exceptionally hard-working, just oblivious about how much harder the average working-class or poor person is compared to them & how hard life in general is for people.
#12
How untouched they are with reality. A student spilt water on their desk at a school in Dubai. When asked to clean it up, she said “ana?” meaning “me?” And proceeded to call her nanny to wipe it off for her.
#13
Lack of consideration with money.
I helped some folks book a vacation to Disney, and the woman spent $20k before she'd even told her husband they were going on vacation. They buy a whole different kind of groceries, too. Grassfed butter, $7/half gallon milk, etc. I'm over here going "I got this Kirkland butter. Feeling pretty good" and then......
#14
I married rich and I have a number of rich friends-in-law. Most of them aren't bad people. There's just these interesting breaks in reality because they lack broader context.
A friend didn't realize that steak was expensive, because they're parents have it so frequently. They thought is was similar to "meatloaf" or "peanut butter and jelly" where it's a commonly shared everyday food experience.
Generally, their critical thinking is pretty good. They've attended good schools their whole life. But at the same time, I think they can view themselves as *exceptional* rather than *privileged*. If that makes sense? Like they worked hard to get into good schools, but they also went to top high schools, access to tutors, academic legacies, and could focus on their education rather than working.
Similarly they can often be very emotionally sensitive. It's not a bad thing, but I think they're more used to having their feelings validated. So sometimes I've noticed they can lack the ability to compartmentalize. This isn't true for all of them. But it's probably a thing that they didn't have to develop coping strategies for.
I would say that despite that they've all obviously grew up super wealthy, the vast majority still refer to themselves as *Upper-Middle Class*. It's like because they only have *summer home* money rather than *yacht* money, that they aren't actually rich.
This isn't all of them. But one person in particular when they were in graduate school they were temporarily cut off from the family credit card. They had to make a budget for meals, and they absolutely didn't know how. So they went to costco and got a pallet of canned baked beans. And proceeded to eat them cold in their apartment. Some of that is certainly performative, but they're idea of not having money somehow became being an early twentieth century boxcar hobo.
#15
They never flex or ask “do you know who I am?” That’s solidly middle class behavior. If you have to ask that, the answer is “nobody.”.
#16
What surprised me most is how normal and informal it all is on the surface—no constant power flexing—while everything important happens quietly. Decisions are made over casual conversations, opportunities move through relationships rather than merit alone, and favors are remembered long-term. It’s less about obvious wealth and more about access, confidence, and knowing the right people without having to announce it.
#17
They’re highschoolers all over again. So much drama and clique nonsense. A lot of them are on second and third marriages or in between spouses and there’s hookups and love triangles all over the place. Bob gets a new golf cart so Joe has to get a new golf cart with a better sound system, Brian gets a new boat so Rick has to get a bigger one, Tony gets a private jet so Mike has to get a newer one (names changed for anonymity, not that any of them use Reddit. They’re all Facebook people).
I really thought they’d all be more mature than that and above such petty things. Nope. .
#18
I found that while some wealthy people are perfectly happy and content in life (often those who actually had to work for wealth rather than inherit), a majority are quite miserable because they have nothing left to strive for and no obstacles to overcome. They have no sense of perseverance and when a tiny thing goes wrong their world crumbles.
I truly believe that past a certain point of fiscal comfort, having more money does not make one happier.
#19
People forget how much less expensive it is to be wealthy. Way more negotiating power with every meaningful transaction. Buying in bulk. Money that generates money.
#20
Piano performance put me in the middle of many wealthy/elite circles, across the years. Some of those people are pure narcissists behaving as if everybody is their servant....
...But it was eye-opening to find out *how many* of those wealthy people were miserable in their lives -- I mean literally *emotionally desperate* to feel some connection to *something*. Even though I was just barely scraping by, financially, some of those wealthy people were strangely clingy and ingratiating -- as if they were drowning in their world and needed to grab on to something.
That made it easy to relax in those circles. It exploded the social myth about "the wealthy powerful elites are your betters." And the funny thing is that *an understated confidence & self-respect* greatly cut down on the number of people who treated me as a servant. Those sorts of people were apparently always picking up on those subtle social status cues, in ways I hadn't truly grasped before.
#21
I was never exactly in their social circle but I dated a guy with very wealthy parents. The thing that always surprised me the most is that while they had very expensive things they didn't take very good care of them and while their house wasn't messy it was dirty. Like they didn't dust or clean the windows and stuff like that and you could tell that things just sat there for a very very long time.
#22
They do not love their children. I stopped working for super wealthy clients because their kids would get so desperately attached to me (and any other available adult.) Seeing the megabillionaire spending exactly 15 minutes per day with his 12 year old son even though he had an extra few billion dollars to donate to a conservative business school was the last straw.
V 13 minutes ago
Yeah, their children are their legacy, not people. I have worked with the children of the uber wealthy and the kids are just put to the side (nannies, boarding school and summer camps) until they are old enough to either start working for the family business if they are boys or married off if they are girls.
#23
I was briefly involved with a very wealthy woman, so I got to hang out with her social circle.
Most people I met who had money-money, whether they earned it themselves or were born into it, felt that being rich meant they were somehow special or gifted. And poor people, weren't. "If they were smarter/harder working, they'd be rich."
TL;DR: Rich people believe poor people deserve to be poor. It's a character flaw to not have money.
#24
Many things.
There are tiers. So, if you are worth $10-$50million, you don’t hang out with the $50-$100 million crowd, and they don’t hang with the $100M-$1B crowd, etc.
It’s all about networking. Everyone has an ego, few deserve it. You think the best and brightest are running the show; you’re wrong. It’s the most narcissistic. That goes for every political system; communist to capitalist with every stop in between.
One of the biggest things I noticed was the difference between “new money” and “generational wealth”. New money are risk takers. They built their success through taking chances. However, risk is just that; risky. They can also lose it if their ambition or judgment is compromised. NFL players and lottery winners go broke fast. It’s actually their nature. Generational wealth are, by and large, NOT risk takers. They live off a trust fund, and their goal is to not slide backwards. Keep the money for the kids and grandkids. Everything is provided. These types don’t mix with new money, and come off as snobbish. Really, they’re just sheltered.
I use the British peerage system as an example. The 33rd Earl of Yellow isn’t a risk taker. His great(x32) grandfather was, and his job is to NOT lose the wealth, lands or titles. He dislikes mixing with the commoners, and is suspicious of these crypto-bros that dine at the city club with him. They have no culture. He hopes to improve his lineage by marrying his oldest daughter off to a Marquee or Duke, but his younger daughters can marry whoever they choose, as long as they’re at least a Baron. Not that it matters; he’s related to all of them anyways.
Most importantly; he thinks he’s better than you, because of his birth.
Meanwhile, the crypto-bros are taking the waitresses of the city club to Vegas for the weekend. Little do they know the bottom of the market will fall out while they’re tossing dice like James Bond. It doesn’t matter if they lose. They aren’t like the rest of us. They can win it all back. That’s what makes them “special”.
#25
You know how the average american is stupid enough to think that if they work hard enough, they'll be a billionaire? Well, that's about the same level of stupid that wealthy people operate on. The average wealthy person just doesn't understand how much luck they have with their connections and inheritance. Just as the average Joe thinks that everyone starts at the same base level and earns their billions, the wealthy think that the average Joe starts with a few million in their families and then make bad choices to lose their "opportunities."
I was trained by the Forbes program through a Relais & Chateaux property, and they straight up tell you that not only are wealthy people completely out of touch, the average person that comes into wealth will lose touch within 3 years. And it doesn't take *that* much to feel "wealthy." Once you get near $1M/yr you'll almost certainly start losing grasp on average prices and standard budgeting. You start equating your time with higher values, which heavily influences your day to day judgments.
They're right, too. Ever have a good paycheck or bonus and feel the relief of not having to look at the pump while you fill up your car? Imagine not caring about price of an entire *fleet* of private jets just because you don't know which interior you like more. That's a convo I've heard in the back of a car I drove.
And then there's guys like a certain "asset manager" firm owner who bought a historical mansion in town and gave his architects and contractors a blank check budget. This has resulted in many, many issues with historical preservation and local ordinances that are just done anyway with the fines paid. And since the property has become usable, he has since flown in several times on his helicopter, using his hastily built helipad, and simply paid any and all FAA fines as if they're just part of his usual travel expenses. His likewise generationally wealthy neighbors have consistently complained about his helicopter usage, but he's just at such another level that nothing happens.
Wealthy people genuinely live in another reality than you. They don't believe in things like climate change affecting them because they literally think and act as if they are on a different planet than us.
#26
I used to do hvac & one employer seemed to exclusively do rich people and their vacation homes. We usually dealt with a property manager to get in. One home had 6 furnaces it was so big and nobody was in it. Property manager said they came for a weekend once in awhile. Paid for landscaping & cleaning year round.
Oh but they wanted the $10 discount on furnace maintenance for signing up early.
#27
I wasn’t there, but my mom used to nanny for very wealthy people. When she was friendly towards the staff, the father was flabbergasted, he told her the staff was like furniture.
So yea, they operate thinking others are literal furniture.
#28
They don't cook, dine out or order in only, they have a $200,000 kitchen that they have used maybe half a dozen times.
Helps they live in a major urban environment with lots of good restaurant options but still, it's crazy to me.
#29
They really think the only reason they’re wealthy is because they earned/deserve it. So few people acknowledge the luck that got them there.
#30
Dated a guy in high school who he and his family are very wealthy and his dad fairly known here… it surprised me at how down to earth they were. I felt like initially I needed to act/look a certain way but they just accepted me as I was. So I guess I was most surprised that they acted normal.
V 4 minutes ago
I dated a man from a wealthy family once, but he was in the type of wealthy family where he was expected to go out and sort out his own education and career. He hung out with other rich guys who were also from families with similar values, and some of these young men were from very well known, very wealthy families. They were pretty normal to talk to, they mainly talked about stuff other people in their 20's do when socialising- music, movies, etc...
#31
To them Fines are just the cost of doing business, Friend of my uncle's once said, "I'll probably just do it anyway, it's just a $2500 fine" (talking about removing trees from his neighbors side of their shared property).
#33
I went to California years ago, met a bunch of very wealthy powerful folks. All of them shook my hand with 0.0000001% grip strength.
It was what taught me that squeezing someone’s hand in order for them to think you are powerful is… really the least powerful option.
Now I never squeeze. I do more grip than them, but never strong squeeze.
The first time it happened, it almost embarrassed me. I was like, oh darn, this man must feel so comfortable with themselves that they don’t need the machismo projection of a hard handshake.
#34
I've worked with some very wealthy clients and overall they're living in a bubble, out of touch with reality, and have no concept of how much money they're spending.
#35
There is a plateau of intelligence. The idea that ultra-wealthy people have high IQs is completely false. A dozen independent studies have concluded that IQ does correlate with yearly earnings, so smarter people earn more money but it stops around 133 IQ.
Almost ever single billionaire "IQ" you've ever read is false. Elon, Zuckerberg, Gates, Allen, Jobs, Bezos.... they self reported themselves as very high IQs of 140-160. This was not supported with evidence, though.
I went down this rabbit holes years ago, but its glaringly obvious when you meet these types of people that they are never the smartest person in the room. They are constantly saying oblivious things, they're very confused, but they never admit it. You will see people making eye contact to acknowledge the stupid things that just left their mouth and then a very gentle "that's super smart Jeff, in fact if we just do everything a little different and nothing you just said then we can meet that arbitrary goal you just mentioned!"
Basically these people tend to be surrounded with an endless steam of problem solvers who can correct them and get projects completed for them but still make the boss FEEL like they were useful.
In reality these people built their fortunes on 1 defining characteristic that is in all of them- that is when you leave the room, no matter who you are, they will bash on you and insult you and compliment themselves and tear you down and actively ask for suggestions on ways that they could steal from you.
Almost every word from their mouth is a lie to the point I'm not sure they every recognize it anymore. I really think they've made a conscious decision to ignore reality and insist that any lie they tell is now magically the truth.
#36
In law school (I don’t practice now) I was friends with a few kids whose parents were politicians and judges, we were invited every week to their exclusive old man clubs (some are so old school if a woman wanted to go you had to have a chaperone) where politicians and business leaders mingled
The biggest surprise was that “party lines” was just performative for the public for many of these folks.
In private away from prying eyes, almost all of them were buddies and talk about their constituents like they’re children to be fooled into what to think.
#37
That they still want to hang onto as much money as they can, to the point where they're willing to purposely undertip a waiter because the service was just a smidge under absolute perfection, or because they already gave a big tip to someone else this week. When people say the rich are hoarding wealth, it goes from the big picture stuff like not paying taxes and not paying employees a livable wage, all the way down to small petty stuff like this.
#38
I ended up at a high-end art auction by mistake (long story). The weirdest part? No one talks about money. Ever. It's considered distinctively 'low class' to discuss prices.
They just nodded at paintings and raised little paddles. I saw a guy spend 2 million dollars with the same casual energy I have when I decide to add guacamole at Chipotle.
#39
I work for an ultra wealthy couple (billionaire stock trader type). My job is to be a pseudo-daughter to the wife since they are older and have no children. We go out to eat, talk, ride horses etc. They are actually super nice people. It wasn’t uncommon to see Bloomberg or other elites over to chat.
-nothing is important until it is, then everyone must drop everything to fix it.
-anything with brands/trendy they have no interest in. But their clothes will all be custom tailored and expensive.
-they have a whole fleet of people working for them, from chefs to landscapers to maids.
Most interesting is on paper they don’t actually “own” anything. They may keep a few million but all vehicles are registered under an llc. All bank accounts are under companies they own.
#40
Everything is a transaction. You know the stereotype of how the wealthy/rich people don't have any real friends? Yeah, that has merit. A lot of them grew apart from their genuine friends, alienated them, or they're not real friends and are equally just transactional. The thing is though, they're so out of touch, that that's what friends really are to them. This goes for family too. I have several family members who are wealthy, they have only ever called me because there was some sort of "transaction" to be made. The concept of just calling someone to see how they are doing or just to schedule a time to hang out is completely alien to them. They don't understand genuine friendships/relationships. It's all purely transactional.
#42
The people they hire are probably 100x smarter than they are. In fact, they’re probably not that bright at all.
#43
Relationships are transactional and are rarely based upon values or principles. Everything is some sort of a “deal.” Friends are not always friends, sometimes they’re just connections. A romantic relationship can sometimes just be a business relationship, not an actual romance.
#44
It gets under their skin waaaay more than you think when you treat them like just any random stranger. Easiest and softest group of people ever and it’s so much fun to troll them.
#45
I work for what used to be a family owned business that became very successful. The family is worth more than a billion between all their assets now. Practically all of them worked there for the first 10-15 years I did (they sold the business ages ago and slowly all filtered out).
I worked a lot with the grandkids who are all in my age range. They are completely divorced from reality (or just refuse to admit their privilege). They genuinely believe they are “normal working class” people just because they work a job. Never mind the fact that grandpa bought the entire family a fleet of matching gold Mercedes. Or that dad bought their house (in one of the most expensive cities on earth). Or that they will never need to save for college for their kids, or even pay for daycare. Or worry about losing their job. Or have any thought about saving for retirement. Or pay for a vacation.
Imagine how easy life would be if you had almost no bills and could just blow every dollar you made on anything you want because no matter what happens you could never end up homeless or in any serious financial trouble.
#46
Been around a lot of very wealthy folks and a couple billionaires in my line of work. I’d say what surprised me most was the amount of employees that are involved with running their homes. Not talking just cleaning people and chefs but house managers whose whole job is to manage the affairs of the residence or sometimes multiple residences. Purchasing agents, lawyers, drivers, you name it.
Also surprising is how little time they spend in their amazing homes. Many of the people I’ve encountered only spend a month or two throughout the year in their local home. The rest of the year it is unoccupied, save for staff who handles maintenance, repairs, upkeep, and planning for the next visit of the homeowner.
I’d say 60% of them are incorrigible jerks, 30% are neutral, and maybe 10% are kind, considerate, well rounded folks. Just an off the cuff totally anecdotal estimate.
As others have touched on, the real thing that money buys is time. When all of your typical adult responsibilities can be handled by staff, you end up with a lot of freedom.
#47
I was surprised by how casually they loaned or gifted things within their social circle. I've seen dudes offer someone they met less than an hour ago rides on their private jet, a weekend at their 20+ million dollar fourth home, amazing seats at big games, etc. The real world value of these favors is insane, but since the value of these items is essentially nothing to the ultra-rich they exchange them like social currency. It's strange to think about, but these apex predator capitalists essentially have their own society which is far more communist or communitarian than capitalist.
Also they don't really have much going on in their lives most days, so a lot of the time they're just filling space between meals. Which we all do theoretically, but for them the food is the only thing that matters in a weird way. It feels a lot like when you go for a vacation somewhere and spend the last few days vaguely bored but still theoretically enjoying yourself.
#48
I was surprised at first by how much attention the wealthy/powerful pay to controlling the mood in every social situation. Heaven help the person who deflates the mood. They have this obsession with ensuring that everyone departs with the right feelings. Plus I've encountered some who couldn't stand anyone but themselves getting positive attention even at a purely social event. The egos among the wealthy/powerful are beyond anything you've probably seen.
#49
The biggest shock is how “normal” it looks on the surface. Same small talk, same jokes, but everything is transactional and people are constantly scanning for status, favors, and who’s worth time. Also the rules are different, a mistake that would sink a normal person gets smoothed over if you’re connected.
#50
I think it's the difference in life experiences. My super wealthy friends have completely different experiences - traveling around the world, eating at high end restaurants that are invited only, branded luxury items are everyday items.
Shared experiences matter a lot and they could not relate to working part time while studying, paying off loans, struggle meals, even BYOB as a concept was outlandish to them lol.
#51
They literally cannot conceive of the concept of not being able to fix a problem by buying another thing. Like the idea of not being able to afford something is literally inconceivable to them.
#53
Similar problems on a different scale. Eg, instead of having to manage people at work, they have to manage their household staff. Their friends don't invite them to MLM parties, they invite them to philanthropic fundraisers. They aren't overbooked on a regular flight, but they discover that their spouse invited buddies on their private plane and now there isn't room for the nanny.
#54
Going against the grain here, and the intent of the question.
They have the same cross section of people as anyone else I met (anecdotally).
Some were lazy, some were hardworking. Some cheap, some prodigal. Some humble, some arrogant. Some were showy, others werent. There really wasnt a universal truth about them.
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