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As we start getting deeper into autumn, you may notice the days growing shorter and the wind growing colder. So during this time, many of us need to be intentional about getting our daily doses of sunshine, whether that means taking a walk during lunch time or finding a virtual bright light online.
In an attempt to bring some warmth and sunshine to all of your days, pandas, we took a trip to the Squeaky Clean Humor Instagram account, which is dedicated to sharing wholesome, family-friendly memes that everyone can enjoy. So keep reading to find a conversation with the page's creator, Allie, and be sure to upvote the pics that bring a smile to your face!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Rigor Moreno 2 years ago
See! They are intelligent creatures and they just chose to ignore everything... :D
◦•●◉ 𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒟𝓇𝒶𝑔𝑜𝓃 (𝓈𝒽𝑒/𝒽𝑒𝓇) ◉● 2 years ago
then they would be murdered by fire
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DarkGlassSphere 2 years ago (edited)
If anybody have some doubts, my kitten made the same thing once. And he proceeded to stare at me curiously during his deed 🥲
Laugh or not 2 years ago
I love the stare my cat throws at me when I put my finger in her mouth: "peasant, how could you?!"
Mia Black 2 years ago
One of our cornsnakes watched us how we open the glass door (we pull one part in the air, not sideway or to the front) and then used to put her weight and muscles on the glass and ground to push it open. We have now locks on our terrarium because she managed to escape twice out of different areas. She is very clever. (Her mate..... Not so much.....)
To learn more about how Squeaky Clean Humor came to be in the first place, we reached out to the creator of the account, Allie, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. “I started my account on a whim when I was 16. It was just a little fun thing to do, and I never expected to keep it for long,” she shared. “It’s been so amazing to see the growth through the years. Even just reaching 1,000 and 10,000 followers was so cool. Now with over a quarter of a million, it’s mind blowing!”
As far as why it’s so important to share clean humor, Allie says, “There are so many pages out there that post a lot of inappropriate/vulgar content. I think it’s important to have some wholesome humor in your life, things both your 10-year-old and your grandma will like. I also make it so I never make jokes about serious issues. I want my page to be a place you can escape and not have to worry about those issues.”
RELATED:
#2
Couragetcd 2 years ago
We have a final answer people! Capy with a cat likes it, so we're good to go with Guinea Bigs!
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#3
Passerby 2 years ago
Well, when I first wore glasses, the optician told me to clean them with dish soap, so I did. The problem was, I also used the sponge, the one with rough green side, to clean them, as in my mind, dish soap went with sponge. As a result, my new glasses got scratched pretty much the first day I got them. In my defense, I was only 10 at the time.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
My dad tried to get rid of bird poop from the hood of our car like that once. He was not 10 at the time.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
I'd say this is a very mindful optometrist who may understand there are literal thinkers who cannot fill in steps without being instructed. I know people who are like that. It is much, much appreciated when someone takes the little bit more effort to ensure people fully understand the task.
Alicia M 2 years ago (edited)
I'm sure it wasn't anything personal, but in the medical field you have to over explain everything because the second you don't, you will meet the dumbest person you've ever come in contact with. Here are a few things I've encountered: *Mother was giving her infant suppositories without removing them from the packaging and called to report they weren't working. *A young woman thought she couldn't be pregnant because she wasn't "sexually active." She thought if you just laid there you wouldn't get pregnant. *I cannot tell you how many people believe a dog's mouth/saliva has some kind of healing properties and they've been letting their dog lick their open wound and they have no idea why it's infected. *A man made his own foot cast out of concrete in his garage and came to the hospital screaming in agony when it started to burn. He didn't see the sense in going to the hospital when he could make a cast at home. I could go on and on but I'm out of space to type.
Cara G 2 years ago
About 25 years ago when I was working in animal medicine, a Bayer representative mentioned that the topical flea medication she was presenting had a new warning on the label that it is NOT to be used on humans. The reason for this was because some people were applying the product to their children. Enough people to necessitate a warning on the label.
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Deborah B 2 years ago
That lack of faith in human discernment speaks to personal experience with a patient who did something very, very dumb. It only takes one, and your perception goes from "99.9% of people have a basic sense of self-preservation" to "Human stupidity is infinite. Some humans have no survival instincts, and their critical thinking is set to: 'Will drink bleach if a celebrity recommends it.'"
lonely miso 2 years ago (edited)
It’s like dumb signs: “Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your body” who actually was dumb enough to try that 😭
Mr. Nurse Man 2 years ago
Yes, please don’t pour boiling water in your eyes. This will hurt like hell and likely permanently blind you.
We were also curious how Allie decides which memes to share on the page. “I mainly find my pictures online, as well as occasionally making my own, or having friends send me ones they’ve seen,” the creator explained. “I rarely take submissions, but if someone sends me something really funny, I’ll post it!”
Allie also shared that it’s difficult to narrow down any favorites since she’s posted nearly 7,000 times, but a few stand out to her. “One that my brother came up with I saw posted by a few other accounts, so that was really cool to see! I’ve found that people really like posts that have to do with movies they love,” she added. “The Princess Bride is always a good choice!”
#4
Chicken Nugget 2 years ago
imagine if this happened and some random 4 year old was selected for swimming
Tara, dog mom 2 years ago
No, I still want to see Simone Biles kick a*s. Maybe we should preface the olympians with regular people attempting all the events so everyone watching can put it in perspective before the real pros come out and we’re all “I can’t believe she didn’t stick that landing”.
Ima Manimal 2 years ago (edited)
I’ve always thought that when it comes to competitive diving… Somebody should just take one for the team and do a huge cannonball. Nobody would ever forget that.
David A Paterson 2 years ago
There ought to be a way of making this work. Say pass a baton to 100 random people and ask each of them to pass it on to someone who wants to be in the Olympics. Then repeat one more iteration. That's your hundred competitors.
#5
Flame 2 years ago
Cotton Eyed Joe is now in OP's shoes, which they are about to put on
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Almarako94 2 years ago
For a very long time i heard it as Kidney joe and always wonder where this cotton eye from the song name was.
Allie also shared how passionate she is about running Squeaky Clean Humor. “I absolutely love running this account and interacting with everyone. It’s become a huge part of my life, and it’s honestly changed my life and the person I am. I love sharing things that go on in my life, and answering questions from my followers. It’s a super fun thing to do!”
#6
Orange Tabby 2 years ago
I'm Team Rachel. Cause even if you've completely broken up, 4 HOURS IS WAY TOO SOON TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
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OnlyTheLonely 2 years ago
I wanna see David Schwimmer run a business coaching session… “pivot! PIV-OT!!”
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Sorry. All I kept thinking about was them moving the couch upstairs yelling "Pivot!"
Lesbitarian Lady 2 years ago
OP in 2018, explains where this comes from sorta. BP it didn't have old in the title. Struck me it didn't belong here, not exactly sure why
Clean humor is great because it can be enjoyed by anyone and everyone. And as we all know, laughter really is the best medicine. According to HelpGuide, getting in a good laugh is great because it can strengthen our immune systems, boost our moods, alleviate pain and prevent us from becoming too stressed.
When we’re kids, most of us laugh all the time, without even being aware of it. But as adults, we sometimes need to make a conscious effort to get in a chuckle. Our lives can become much more serious, and it’s easy to go an entire day without laughing until your abs hurt. But we shouldn’t let this happen, as laughter is a great way to release tension!
#7
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
I had a coworker from Florida who had never seen snow. She looked out the window to see it coming down, squealed excitedly and said, "Look, it's flaking outside!"
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
When I was at boarding school in the UK we had this preteen boy join us from Nauru, near Fiji. He saw snow falling, and a lamb being born, on one weekend hike. I doubt he closed his eyes that night!
Francis 2 years ago
a freind of mine had a million for one day :D (he purchased a house. got the credit from the bank the day before the money was used to buy said house... (houses are expensive in switzerland) he made screenshots, becuase "when will he ever have so much money?")
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#8
Desiree Meredith 2 years ago
And my cat will occasionally eat vegetables. It doesn't change the fact that a cat is a carnivore. Just as a hippo is an herbivore: meaning the base of it's diet is compromised of plants, even if they do occasionally eat meat if the opportunity presents itself.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
It's not that hippos are by nature vicious. It's just that they have no half-way measures of defending themselves.
Brian Leahy 2 years ago
Bison are herbivores and every year they kill more people at Yellowstone than bears do.
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Nat Geo article this week: The animal that frightens the Savannah animals more than a lion. Any guesses? Eyup. It's humans. Recordings of a male lion near a watering hole caused the various animals to look around and assess the danger. Recordings of humans talking, just talking, sent them all scurrying into the brush. This makes the hippopotamus even cooler. The only other animal would be a honey badger, because as y'all know, Honey Badger don't care. (Google it if you don't know)
ဗSailor Moonဗ 2 years ago
Just like me. I hate you but I don’t want to eat you. And no it’s not that time of the month.
#9
Manusha Kanis 2 years ago
My dad once tried to buy 1 cucumber with his order, but ordered 1 box of cucumbers. Was fun to go around the neighbourhood giving away cucumbers 😁
Jason 2 years ago
I ordered 1 bag of potatoes, I got one potato. Next time I ordered 10 potatoes and got 10 bags of potatoes. I was giving them away to anyone that wanted some.
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Black Garbage 2 years ago
If dad buys 15 mangoes, and mum buys 10 more mangoes, find the mass of the sun, assuming that the earth’s gravitational pull is 10N/KG and a mango dad bought escaped the house, and is now leading police on a high speed chase at 150km/h in a minivan that weighs 72 bananas.
Sue User 2 years ago
Yes, it took me wsy too long to realize that match problems were as much about reading comprehension and ignoring the stuff that was there to mislead you. Look, I am here to solve a math problem, not a scooby doo mystery.
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Angela B 2 years ago
*chuckles* My Tata used to grow veges in his backyard. One year, I had to find "homes" for 32 cauliflower! I miss him so very much.
Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
Tata? I know that word from Polish as meaning Father. How do you use it, in what language and what country? … if you do not mind me asking
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Imreallyjustaghost 2 years ago
Mannnnn. I ordered 12 cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster, thinking I was only getting TWELVE biscuits...they called me and confirmed I wanted 12 orders of biscuits and I was like "hell yeah we're hungry" not understanding that I ordered 12 CATERING BOXES OF BISCUITS. I want to say there were something like 24 biscuits a box. Needless to say, I got maybe a tad too many.
Christi Blankenship 2 years ago
I own a smoothie place. I'm the person those math problems were created for. 😂 and I always tell my new employees this because they are usually in high school and currently still doing those math problems. They don't think it's as funny as I do 😂
Mr. Ping Pong 2 years ago
So if your dad bought 15 mangoes, and your mom bought 10 mangoes, how many mangoes will your mom throw at your dad for not telling her?
HelpGuide notes that laughter can even benefit heart health, as it improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow. Enjoying a good laugh every day can also be great to keep us from holding grudges or getting too angry. All emotions are meant to be felt, but being able to find humor in any situation can help us cope with the struggles of being human. Having a laugh can prevent you from becoming resentful and be a healthy reminder not to take life too seriously.
#10
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
One of a few of my comfort movies. The Princess Bride will never get old, especially with characters like Inigo.
#11
dingliusyeeeeeeeeeee 2 years ago
reply to this comment to vote for terry crews
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Lyone Fein 2 years ago
But why are these our only choices? What about Jason Momoa? Or Danny Devito? Kate McKinnon?
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
I just got a very vivid image of danny devito in a costco snow white dress and i nvere knew i needed a snowy devito in my life
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Zedrapazia 2 years ago
I like that the actual actress that was cast has the least amount of upvotes.
Daniel Atkins 2 years ago
Imagine Terry moving his pecs in time to the music as the dwarves sing Hi Ho.
flee. 2 years ago
HAHAHA that Peter Dinklage guy can be just one of them- like sneezy or grumpy 🤪
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Scented Candle 2 years ago
There’s either other options or a rounding error
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Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago
Terry Crews is pure and sexy but too old. Snowy needs to be a teenager. Part of the fairy tale is the diminishing of beauty, and therefore the value society puts on women, as the age. The wicked queen was obsessed with her beauty because she was afraid of being replaced by a younger model.She had done the same thing to Snow White's mom. When the Grimm brothers published their book with Snow White, Holy Roman Emperor Ferdinand II had already done the same thing 3 times is real life and would do it one more time before he died.
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago
Well, if they would have kept to the script with Snow White being more beautiful Gal Gadot would have played Snow White
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#12
Oais Wright 2 years ago (edited)
Creating goose: Up the aggression parameters of this duck to max and remove the code part for fear
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
We're not aggressive we just hate golf. And children. And parking lots. And bicycles. Also businessmen, college students, and umbrellas. And possibly most Canadians. We absorb all the ambient meanness so people can be nice. YOU'RE WELCOME Canada.
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Angela B 2 years ago
*Creator* "I have these bits left over from Creating..... e voila!"
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gilded panda 2 years ago
either im tired as hell or my humor is different from all of america's, because i showed this to my friend and 1: i was laughing like hell and 2: he chuckled a bit
Because there are so many benefits to having a long, healthy laugh every day, it’s important to have comedy that’s accessible and enjoyable for everyone. That’s why clean comedy has been growing in popularity in recent years! Far too often, comics feel the need to rely on low blows and discriminatory or derogatory jokes that leave someone feeling offended. But this is completely unnecessary! Making jokes at no one’s expense may take a bit of creativity, but it’s certainly worth it. And apparently, it can even get you 267k Instagram followers!
#13
Meep-Meep 2 years ago
It's 7 pm for me and I laughed hard too so I don't think the time has anything to do with it ;)
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 2 years ago
Is this a word play? Not a native speaker and sadly I do not get it other then chestnuts are something to eat.
Mochi 2 years ago
It's a Christmas song that goes "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" Chess is the game chess, and nuts can be used to mean like a nerd or a person who's crazy. Used like that they mean people who like chess bragging about it in a hotel, they just worded it like the song
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#14
Colleen Glim 2 years ago
My void is not arsed about chicken. Tuna on the other hand, she can hear the tin open at 100 paces. And you best be sharing
#15
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
That's like when I hear people mention something's height in feet, I equate it to my height. I'm 5ft, so if someone says something is 10ft I think 'okay, two of me', etc.
Cooking Panda 2 years ago
Now if only the US would adapt "cheese" as their official measurement unit
Alijandro Asturias 2 years ago
I used to calculate everything in kebab back when it was still 4 euros and it stuck with me even if it's 6,50 now. This shirt costs 20 euros? Man, that's 5 kebabs!
According to The Grable Group, clean comedy should be many people’s go-to because it’s appropriate for a wide variety of events. If there will be kids in attendance at your birthday party, you need entertainment for a company event, or you’re looking for a comedy show to take the whole family to on Saturday night, clean comedy can be a godsend. The Grable Group also notes that clean comedy usually takes a bit more effort than dark humor or offensive comedy, so it should be extremely well done. You can trust that the comedians put a lot of thought into their sets.
#16
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
Kitty! Who wants to continue with the main quest with side quests like this 😻😻😻
Hannah McCoy 2 years ago
i once had an entire conversation on a discord channel that took place in a ‘video game’. I acquired ANNOYING CAT and he absorbed an activated grenade so I thew him at my friend. Pleasing results followed.
#17
#18
Francis 2 years ago (edited)
why do i understand exactly what he means? it feels wrong that Q is not next to X or Y ... Edit: who made the alphabet anyways? why is it in that order and not in a different one?
Marcos Valencia 2 years ago
Romans did it, of course. First, they changed the order in the Greek alphabet. But, of course, they named it ABECEDARIUM (ABCD), instead of ALPHABET (αβ).
They used this alphabet: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, V, X, Y, Z
Later, they added J, U and W to the alphabet...
J is right after I because it was a written variant (IVLIVS = JVLIVS). It's the same than U (but this one entered later), placed with V because it was another variant for the same sound (IVLIVS = IULIUS = JULIUS). And the same with "W", another variant in the group U, V, W. It was introduced in the Middle Age, and previously it was represented "U" or "UU". In the tombstone of the Visigothic king Witiza, we can read VVITIZA. W is the only "goth" letter in the alphabet.
Romans didn't need "Y" and "Z", so they didn't used it in a first moment. But when they started using more and more Greek words, they decided to introduce this letter. They just put it at the end.
But the order is random. VVITINZA-A...fba6cb.jpg 
David A Paterson 2 years ago
Yes. Q is too high up the alphabet, in QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM
Joshua Ortiz 2 years ago
S is the popular letter that knows they are popular but humble enough to hangout with the weird letters and make them feel good.
Load More Replies... Bathsheba 2 years ago
My iny objection to this is the word "high". Surely the end is the top - Q is not high enough.
Parmeisan 2 years ago
Not to my brain. Do you read from top of a page to bottom? I do and it seems natural to me that if you put the alphabet in reading order, the top or highest is A and the bottom or lowest is Z. I'm not correcting you, I'm just curious about how other people think and is this a cultural difference? 🙂 Are you maybe thinking of how A is 1 or the first letter and Z is 26, thus 1 is low?
Load More Replies... BoredPossum 2 years ago
Probably because the alphabet wasn't invented by modern English speaking people. But by people using q a lot more.
Philly Bob Squires 2 years ago
If A, B , C, D, E, F and G weren't so gawdammed slow in the beginning... L, M, N, O and P wouldn't have to be so rushed!
You can also attend a clean comedy show, or follow a clean comedy account on Instagram, without having to worry at all about getting offended. What is considered a “sensitive topic” can vary person to person, but clean comedy should always be safe.
On the same note, as a comedian, it can be wise to write clean jokes, as this can help you grow your following. You can share clips of your routines online without worrying about getting any backlash, and viewers can happily share your content with all of their own followers.
#19
Surfing Panda 2 years ago
For worser results: wash at 90 °C with a lot of new black t-shirts...
#20
Elizabeth Brown 2 years ago
I one time panicked because I got a notification that my email password changed, immediately reset it. I remembered like 3 days later that I was the one that changed it...
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
What I like is when some site has you signed out, and you can't remember your password, so you have to have them send a "is this really you" verification code to one of my spam email accounts, which I can't remember the password for, and so on.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 2 years ago (edited)
Gmail: Please verify via your phone on which I will send you a notification that someone has tried logging into your account even though it was with the same phone and I will also send you an email about it later on.
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
It gets funnier when they send a code to your other device to confirm that you are signing in on another device and still asks if it was you
LocalLizard 2 years ago
I had to log on to my google account on my phone because I got signed out. What do you know I get a notification telling me about 'suspicious' activity...
Roy Briggs 2 years ago
Anyone remember The Big Lebowski? He's doing the police report for his stolen car, mentions to the cops about his rug also being stolen, and how it really tied the room together, Maude calls up introducing herself and explains that she's the one who's took his rug. Dumb white cop: guess we can close the case on that one!
Barbara Baldwin 2 years ago
Google absolutely forbids me from using a different device, no exceptions
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Hey, funny memory. Remember when we were told that technology would make our lives easier, and we believed them? I spend more time going through all the security steps required to watch a movie on a streaming service I'm paying for instead of getting up, crossing the room, turning on the tv, and watching whatever one of the only 3 networks (plus PBS) had scheduled.
#21
Marcos Valencia 2 years ago
Yes. Every bug will follow a good smelling human that shows the exit with a lit lighter.
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Susie Elle 2 years ago
"Respectfully, I am in tears" is going to be how I close my work emails from now on
Passerby 2 years ago
If I were the professor, I would excuse the tardiness. Even if this turns out to be a lie, at least I got a good laugh out of it.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
I believe the struggle is real.
Load More Replies... Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Use bug spray. Everyone has bug spray. It comes in a solid block form and is often labelled as shoe or newspaper/magazine
Cara G 2 years ago
The September issue of Vogue works very well for these situations.
Load More Replies... Alicia M 2 years ago (edited)
I know house centipedes are harmless but they are the creepiest looking things and I would be this person if one of those things came between me and my door.
Cara G 2 years ago
A week ago today, I very nearly burned my sister's house down trying to eliminate a house centipede. I was spending the night in her basement and I spotted one on the concrete wall beside the door. It quickly disappeared into a hole in said wall so naturally, I flicked my Bic in an effort to destroy it and its ancestors. Didn't work.
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Engaging in laughter with a friend or loved one can help strengthen our relationships, so don’t hesitate to send your friends a hilarious meme that you spotted on Instagram or tell them a silly joke you read online last night. You two will feel closer after releasing some tension by laughing together, and you might even have an easier time solving conflicts after strengthening your bond through humor. Humor can lower both of your stress levels and remind you not to sweat the small stuff.
#22
keyboardtek 2 years ago
Wait until you are 70. You know you are old when NOTHING EVER heals again.
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XenoMurph 2 years ago
No your UTERUS grew a baby. It's like a regeneration chamber. If you put your ankle in your uterus, it'll be better in a week.
ColourCrafts 2 years ago
And how shall I tell my surgeon this is what I want?
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arthbach 2 years ago
(sad) Yesterday, I walked about 100m to the car. I did not go over on my ankle, hit it, or anything similar. My husband drove us to the supermarket, and I then hobbled around the shop using the shopping trolley for support. This morning, I'm using a walking stick to aid movement. I'd like a functioning ankle, and a clue as to what happened to it!
LittleWombat 2 years ago
Honestly, I relate! My knees went out on me while standing still!!! No relief and drs are going to have to go in and take a look. From STANDING?! I hope your ankle heals up and sorry that happened to you!!
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Danielle Renee 2 years ago
fact! i sprain my ankle at least 3 times a year for over 20 years. i would have been better off breaking it
Sky Render 2 years ago
Oh I am sure I'm in for it when my body catches up with me. I have hyperflexible joints in my legs, which almost always leads to major issues later in life...
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
It's like gluing a model together and then dropping it and then gluing the broken parts back together without new parts
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
After one minor injury after another due to sports/work, I can attest to the durability of some of them. I've also noticed they rear their ugly little protests at extremely inconvenient moments, like public stairs or reaching for that can on the top shelf at the store.
#23
Janine Randall 2 years ago
Portuguese Man O War are not jellyfish. They act like it, but they're not.
Catherine Maven 2 years ago
Yes, but I'm pretty sure they couldn't be the Heavyweight Champion of the World ... just sayin' ...
#24
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Oh, I’ve got a great fact about the Count!! Count Von Count first appeared during season 4 of Sesame Street in 1972. A Count who loves to count isn’t just clever wordplay. In early folklore, vampires were often depicted with Arithmomania, a disorder where the individual has a need to count their actions or surrounding objects.
Mel in Real Life 2 years ago
"The Vampire" aka The Count was NOT on the Muppet show. He was on Sesame Street.
Cold Eagle 2 years ago
1 ahahaha, 2 ahahaha, 3 bwahaha. For some reason has stuck in my head for decades, even though I know technically it is incorrect.
Alex Beal 2 years ago
That'd be favorite character in Sesame Street, though, they are all technically Muppets. Kermit is the only performer featured in both productions. Also, Snuffalufagus are the only residents on Sesame Street with a child. "Useless", you say? You're unjustly saying things! Even Oscar the Ground begrudgingly accepts a hug every now and then!
gilded panda 2 years ago
for anyone whos childhood might have sucked since they dont know who the vampire is, hes a character who counted on the show
Research shows that people who use more humor in their relationships report higher levels of relationship satisfaction, and many of us seek out partners who have a great sense of humor. So whether you’re looking for love or just trying to expand your circle of friends, sharing clean humor with everyone you encounter can bring some sunshine to both of your days! A silly little wholesome meme never hurt anyone, right?
#25
Daycare Attendant Sun 2 years ago
The floor is always made of lava. It makes things VERY difficult!
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
Another reason to not let your 4 year old alone with strange people
#26
Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago
Since I was a kid, I thought the leap day should be between the last day and first day of the year. Dec 31, LEAP DAY!, Jan 1. Why randomly attach it to the middle of the calendar?
arthbach 2 years ago
A couple of Caesars were not happy their months were only 30 days, so two days were stolen from February and added to July and August. When it was recognised the calendar was coming adrift from the seasons, an extra days was added in once every four years. It was decided to add it into to February in partial compensation for its earlier losses.
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Bols 2 years ago
I had an idea recently that all months should have 30 days and the remaining 5 days should be just numberless days between winter holidays and New Year's, when only essential things would be open and whole world would just agree to do nothing and recharge. And as a bonus every 4 years we would get an extra day to this slumber. I was a bit high but I still like the idea :D
Nilsen 2 years ago (edited)
12 months of 30 days each didn't really fit with the 365.2-something days of a natural year. Not even the 365 days that were easily observed over only a decade or so. Midwinter and equinox would change. 12x30 =360 days + 5 more. The year had traditionally started on 1 of March, at spring equinox (20th of March now), but various rulers had decided to start the year again when _they_ came and decided. It was a chaos! Then Julius (or at least his crew) decided that the year should start at Midwinter, and January, March, May, July, September, and November should have 31 days, and the rest should have 30. Except for February who got only 28, but an extra day eveyr 4 years. And a month named after himself would be nice. His son Augustus also wanted a month, and couldn't live with having fewer days than his father, so.... change again.
Funhog 2 years ago
And then there's an exception to the every-four-years being a leap year: If the year is divisible by 100 and not divisible by 400, then the leap year is skipped. So, the next leap year that will be skipped will be the year 2100.
#27
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
THAT'S MY SISTER! She may not be the best looking but stop calling her names!
Saint_Zipcodus 2 years ago
Who, the one with the sheet or the talking dog?
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afia kooma 2 years ago
I agreed with you, until i remembered a video of two cops who emptied their clips into the dark because of a fox howl.
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Auntriarch 2 years ago
We had a retired surgeon on our street who used to lurk in the church yard wearing a very realistic gorilla suit. We miss you George
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
Bumping into this guy in a cemetery would've made my day. Played a lot of hooky that ended up in the local cemetery, so meeting this chap would've been fun.
We hope you’re enjoying these squeaky clean memes, pandas. Feel free to share all of your favorites with your grandmother, your kids, your neighbor and your pastor, as they’re appropriate for everyone! Keep upvoting the pics that bring some sunshine to your day, and then if you’re interested in checking out even more wholesome memes from Bored Panda, we recommend reading this article next!
#28
#29
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
As someone who named both of her dogs after characters from Dune… I laughed XD
Bored Alpaca (She/Her) 2 years ago
As someone who is not American, this took way too long to get
#30
Alex Martin 2 years ago
40,000 McDonalds locations at an average of 4000 square feet each. 160,000,000 square feet or 5.73 square miles / 9.22 Sq km. Vatican is .49 Sq km, Monaco is 2.02 Sq km. Both are countries. I submit that McDonalds is the third smallest country in the world and deserving of a flag.
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Suz-Anne SEUSS 2 years ago
Our McDonald's hasn't had ice cream/shakes since we moved here...6 years ago.
#31
JoyfulZebra 2 years ago (edited)
Me too, but I want all the dogs to be Shih Tzu's, so I can go out in a Tzunami
FloralDangerNoodle 2 years ago
This one's my favorite!! We have two dogs, and they know how to spell w-a-l-k, so we make up new names every so often, like jaunty trek.
Maggie Marrelli 2 years ago
I now say perambulate the beastie. He hasn't cottoned on to that yet...
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kraftmacaroniandbeez 2 years ago
ohhh right sorryyy i meant b u l l s h i t
Load More Replies... The Original Bruno 2 years ago
My son: That's a wood bee. Me: Yes, but now that we've passed it, it's a wood've been. Son, angrily: I get it, I get it.
#32
Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago
This is good science. Eliminating wrong answers helps you find the right one.
David A Paterson 2 years ago
Literally all of pure mathematics in the past hundred years is like this. And when they run out of "windows" they make up a new name, like homologic automorphic group forms.
Terry Fergusson 2 years ago
I don't know. My computer has Windows and can't move but it does run.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
Where's Dave, he's always got solutions but no problems to apply them to.
#33
arthbach 2 years ago
As well as the sugar rationing, good Turkish Delight is a thing of beauty. The commercially made stuff is nowhere near the same.
cerinamroth 2 years ago
Amen! The piles and piles of it you see on market stands in Bosnia are a joy to behold and a delight to savour!
Load More Replies... Panda Kicki 2 years ago
In the swedish translation Edmund ate soft fudge and that was totally understandable to sell out your siblings for.
Yer maw 2 years ago
Not gonna lie, I love Turkish delight. My mother is currently on holiday in turkey, if she doesn't bring me some home there will be tears.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
if you do not think lokum (proper name for TD) is the most amazing "candy" in the world you are an uncultured swine. They are nectar of the gods in solid form.
the harbinger of doom (she/he) 2 years ago
the same with the powdery goodness from heaven that is kourabeides!
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Elizabeth Brown 2 years ago
Turkish Delights are good though:( also magic Turkish delights, they were literally the most addicting thing Edmund ever had
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
What’s so great about it? (And what is it exactly? I’m not sure I’ve ever eaten it.) (Oh: And who is Edmund? I’m feeling as if everyone is having a conversation in a language I don’t speak, because I’m not understanding ANYTHING. It feels like you all got together and said “Hey! Let’s confuse Bink by talking in a secret code!”)
Parmeisan 2 years ago
I can't answer what it is or why it's good (although I think some other commenters have done so since you were here) but as to Edmund, he is a character in "The Lion, The Witch she The Wardrobe" (the Narnia series) who is ensorcelled by magic Turkish Delight and helps out the titular witch to get more of it.
Load More Replies... D. Pitbull 2 years ago
... I suddenly understand it all. I too once ate turkish delight and thought "Wtf... 'delight' my ar$e... what IS this?"
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I freaking love Turkish Delights. I can't get them in my predominately Latine neighborhood, so I occasionally order them online.
#34
Dergan 2 years ago
You say that until an ostrich runs you over with a fiat
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Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
There's a black double-decker that takes visitors on a tour of the haunted sites round London. It's called Ghost Bus Tours.
#35
Temporary Dork 2 years ago (edited)
Apparently orphan beavers who never saw another beaver in their life will eventually start blocking your hallway with a dam made of stuffed animals. [EDIT: Look! Tim posted a video in reaction to this comment.]
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
It's the sound of running water. Tests have been done and found that beavers will block any pathway if they hear running water. It is believed that it is a self-preservation reaction because it is harder to be swept away in slow or motionless water
Power puff scientist 2 years ago
this is wrong they build burrows whose entrances are underwater to protect them against predators.
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TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago (edited)
Beavers indeed just hate the sound of flowing water, scientists tested it with speakers playing it and the beavers started to build a dam around it
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
Reminds me of the cartoon where the narrator says that the beavers dam the river and they all run to the rivers edge and start hurling expletives at it and the narrator gets all serious "not like THAT!" and they all slink away.
#36
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
My bestie in front of her crush be like: Him: hi My bestie: Uh, hi? Him: Wait what’s your name again? My bestie: …Janice? (Needless to say, her name was NOT Janice but she panicked on the spot)
Bookworm (she/her) 2 years ago
Zovsko has already made them left-handed and forgetful. It took me a second too.
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UselessKnowledgeFont 2 years ago
I both hate how my head feels when the wifi isn't working right, and am a bit concerned that I can tell just from my own body
#37
O G 2 years ago
"If you say “beer can” in an English accent it sounds like “bacon” in a Jamaican accent."
Adam Elder 2 years ago
If you say the words "whale","oil","beef","hooked" you have an Irish accent!😲
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Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I used to watch this Australian kids show a while back and for a long time I spoke in a half Australian half Indian accent
kazuha 2 years ago (edited)
i live in australia and i can confirm that no one speaks like this except for the country kids 😭 we say "no" like "noeu."
Performingyak 2 years ago
It's regional. Yhere are many Victorians who have this affliction. The lazy O where they use their tongue instead of lips to form it.
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afia kooma 2 years ago
Finally norway is doing something for another country and not being hippocritical about it 👏👏👏
#38
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I had bio homework where they were asking us to prove why a cuttlefish doesn’t belong to class Pisces
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
I saw one commit suicide once. The sign on the tank said Scuttlefish
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Mycroft1967 2 years ago
Catfish- not cat Dogfish- not dog Snakehead- not snake Bull shark-not bull Tiger shark-not tiger. SEAHORSE- not horse. I see a pattern here.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
I reject utterly the notion that cuttlefish, starfish, jellyfish, silverfish and shellfish are not fish. They live in the ocean, so they are fish. If you want to argue for the notion spread beginning in schools in the 1950s that because they aren't related biologically they aren't fish, I should point out that we are more closely related to lungfish than lungfish are related to tuna.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
Algae live in the ocean, does that make them fish? Whales live in the ocean , but then I know some call them whalefish.
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JaimeeJames WD 2 years ago
And then there is the argument that ‘fish’ is not a thing in its own right…
#39
Elizabeth Brown 2 years ago
My favourite fun fact is that over 3 percent of the earths surface is covered by water :D
French panda says ur worth it 2 years ago
My favorite is that we share over 1% of our DNA with bananas 🍌
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arthbach 2 years ago
Caesar Cardini (not Julius Caesar) has only been dead 67 years (2023 - 1956).
Lexekon 2 years ago (edited)
THIS, the Ceasar salad was not JULIUS Caesar... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesar_Cardini
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Logan Chipman 2 years ago
Lmfaoooo that time span is the equivalency of a microwave meal
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Rick Fortier 2 years ago
The earth's surface is 71% covered by water - UN-CARBONATED water. Meaning that yes, the earth IS flat!
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
And there is a 98.2% chance that at least one of the molecules in your lungs came from Julius Caesar's last breath. Can I have my Orange Julius now?
#40
Animal lover 2 years ago
Good ol' Southwest Airlines. They know how to entertain their travelers.
#41
Tsdey 2 years ago
just replying so you do not need to open all the comments to see it
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Westend Revolver 2 years ago
Is it bad that a 4th floor stapler has seen the world more than I have?
adnap derob 2 years ago
Harmless? What about all the Floor 4 workers who had to do their job all week with NO Stapler?....Hmmm??😂🤣
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Greg Baughman 2 years ago
I actually do the same thing with a teddy bear. His name is Stosh, because he has a mustache. I don't do selfies... but Stosh does! Instagram: stosh_the_bear
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
I approve. How long had it been since the stapler got a vacation?
Lotekguy 2 years ago
They don't take vacations, but after work they hang out in clip joints.
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Cassidy Moore 2 years ago
That friendly neighborhood wizard part made me think of Spiderman of course and now I image an alternate reality where Danial does in fact play Spiderman
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HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
You’re gonna need about 6 whole parts on that
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RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Daniel Radcliffe has really seemed to be just a generally great person.
Paddling Panda 2 years ago
He's hysterical in the new Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix, as are Channing Tatum and Brad Pitt.
CKB 2 years ago
Brad Pitt is so good in this, so is Daniel. I've watched it 8 times, so funny!
Load More Replies... Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
Be like that scene were John Wick was hiding in the shadows and just turned around to surprise the guy he was fighting.
#43
Lexekon 2 years ago
So he also had to take a flight, out of sympathy, and is starting his new life in Italy...
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Caroline Driver 2 years ago
I recently called back to someone I'd just parted from who'd said bye to me, 'BYE' so that they would hear me as I left. A woman getting out of her car in front of me heard me, thought I said 'HI' and said Hi back to me, then wondered who the hell I was as she'd never seen me before
#44
#45
FloC 2 years ago
Does yours also do a "brrrrrt" while avoiding your hand ?
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Cyber Returns 2 years ago
"Excuse me. Hello. I'm not here for my health, you know. You are supposed to stop. I don't care if you are driving a BMW"
#46
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
The Hangover 1 1/2. The first movie but from Timon and Pumba's point of view.
#47
Jan Rosier 2 years ago
As long as it's your own, mkeej. I'ld start worrying if it were not your own...
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Cyber Returns 2 years ago
And suddenly not being able to release that big sneeze you were building up
Gworlypop 2 years ago
Proven fact cuz I did it twice: if you have a sneeze, say ‘achoo’ and it will go away. I’m not even joking I think I hacked the system
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Susie Elle 2 years ago
I'd like to add lying on your own arm while you sleep and waking up wondering who's arm is on you, and throw in looking for the pair of glasses that you have on your head.
Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
The two last have been fixed on my model, but were replaced with sleeping with your neck in a wrong position and blowing your nose too hard
Anony Mouse 2 years ago
Not biting the heck out of your own tongue like a self-hating cannibal?
#48
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
I admit I once broke off and stole a tiny piece of a succulent plant in Home Depot. I jammed it in my pocket and took it home, I planted it and it grew roots and propagated, and now it fills an entire planter pot in my backyard XD
Martin Burley 2 years ago
This is similar to how my great aunt filled her garden, she would go visit a stately home, wander round the grounds, snap off a twig/leaf, stick it in a potato in her pocket (for moisture apparently) take it home and plant it.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
When I was a kid I was playing outside in the woods and I saw a beautiful flower. I had never seen this type of flower before so I thought I'd give it to my mom, so I picked it. Shortly after I brought it inside and presented this pretty flower to my mom and she starts yelling at me, which is the complete opposite of what I thought her reaction would be and it killed the 6-8 year old me inside. Turns out this beautiful flower is an endangered species and illegal to pick 🤷♀️ obvs a kid wouldn't know that info. To this day I have never seen another one 🥺
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
Sweden countryside has a weird tradition, you are supposed to steal your plants. Even if you asked and are allowed to take a twig/leaf you then go about to do it in secret when noone is watching. Steal it or it dont grow!
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I have stolen succulent leaves, and have successfully saved a cactus that was cut in half and tossed out of a doorstep
ʁɨɂɥɒ 2 years ago
I read it at first "planet store" and got totally confused till end. "You do jot download a planet 🤔
eykntspel 2 years ago
This is why I love cacti and succulents, you can just take the leaves off other other succulents, or break off offshoots from a cactus, and you've got a whole new plant. rinse and repeat for infinite plants. Yes I know this can work for other plants but it's so easy with cacti and succulents, like the burrow's tail succulent has hundreds of tiny little leaves that break off from the tiniest bit of force and each will grow roots and become a new one
#49
cerinamroth 2 years ago
You can tell that "Spells, Charms and Incantations" was written by a witch.
#50
#51
#52
Alexej Dvorak 2 years ago
Maybe someone else can bring you as plus one to get you back in.
Load More Replies... Hokuloa 2 years ago
I mean, there’s kind of a section of most weddings for that exact purpose. So….
#53
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
I sometimes wish the time being would take care of things for me, but when I set them aside for it, I still have to do them in end.
#54
Em 2 years ago
It's great to be an adult who plays the cello. Being a kid who played the cello...sucked. It's impossible to be cool when your instrument is bigger than you. Walking to school with a cello, you're like a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti. Bullies smell you coming a mile away. "Ooh, I don't know what that thing is, but I know I'm gonna break it." (Rob Parovian, no quotes bc I'm too lazy to track down the exàct wording. :P)
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
When I played the cello as a kid, no one would mess with me because they thought I could whack them with the big cello case. Going up and down the stairs were torture though
Load More Replies... ColourCrafts 2 years ago
Somewhere out there, the cello celebrates its new-found freedom. It took a while, but it was free from the newb, free to find someone who could actually play.
I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/she/he) 2 years ago
A few weeks ago, I had to try and help my substitute teacher track down an instrument. The music department is fairly big, but like, very open, there's not many places for an instrument to hide. I looked for about an hour, in every nook and cranny I could think of in the school. Cupboards, behind upright percussion instruments, under desks, behind chairs, underneath the stage in the orchestra pit, even in the backstage dressing rooms. Do you know what I was looking for? Not a flute or a clarinet, not even a tenor saxophone. A double bass. She found it a few hours later
DadManBlues 2 years ago
To Abra Barbier: the answer is 'by intention'. This is how your son told you he hated playing the cello. Maybe because it was the size of him. I wouldn't be happy to walk around with an octobass.
Christof Irran 2 years ago
This is still my all-time favorite. Too bad my parents never trusted me with a cello; that's definitely one thing I would have lost. Instead they made me play the piano - how do you lose a piano?
#55
#56
#57
Em 2 years ago
I once lived in a hotel with my best friend for awhile. Long story, but the point is life was weird, schedules were weird because the hotel was quite far from the rest of our lives, and we were sharing a bed. One morning my alarm went off obscenely early and I woke him up to "help me with the siren." I think I was more confused than he was once my brain actually clicked on.
keyboardtek 2 years ago
I still have bad dreams that I am late for a high school class and I cannot remember my locker combination. I am 68.
Zoe Vokes 2 years ago
I’ve dreamt about missing credits at college and needing to go back years later to complete them.
Load More Replies... David A Paterson 2 years ago
True story, in the middle of last night, my wife informs me, I was shaking the bed with all my might. All I know is that I was dreaming of an earthquake.
#58
Brittania Kelli 2 years ago
I know, I never get people who snooze for an extra 5-10 minutes. If I snooze I want a proper nap, minimum another hour.
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Reemerger 2 years ago
that's certainly one way to refer to your significant other...
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Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
I got my wife with the updog joke. Kept asking her if she'd heard about updog and she kept saying "what?" and getting agitated and finally, exasperated, goes "what's updog?" and I said, "not much, you?" and she had to hide her face she was laughing so hard.
Janner Wingfeather 2 years ago
My brother and I tried it on our other brother. The conversation just went around and around with variations on, “What’s that?” “What’s what?” “The thing you said!” Eventually he yelled out in frustration, “WHAT IS AN UPDOG?” We lost it at that point.
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#60
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago (edited)
There is no way I will be calling my teachers by their first names if I am to see them when I’m older, that’d feel way too weird
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
I’m not sure I could honestly even remember a single one of my teachers’ first names, at this point XD
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BoredPossum 2 years ago
Where I come from, we always called everyone by their first name, except the king. Where am I from,
ColourCrafts 2 years ago
I hear kids in my senior class call the teachers by their first names and it’s uncomfortable for everyone
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
By that age we usually used shorter versions of their surnames which was a good in between option
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her 2 years ago
My old friend’s mum was my Hindi teacher so it used to be very awkward whenever I had to go to her house
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
My Spanish teacher always said that if we ever saw him in public and didn't refer to him as Kevin, then he wasn't going to respond. But no, if I saw any of my other teachers (and I know some are still kicking around) they will always be Mr or Mrs. Shoot, my third grade teacher's assistant lives at the end of the road I live on and I still call her Mrs. Boles. I'm 44.
Myopic chahuahua 2 years ago
I will never call my teachers by their first names but that is because I am homeschooled
DadManBlues 2 years ago
Here in poorly developed Hungary my kids call all their teachers by their given names (our naming order is Familyname Givenname this is why I don't call it their firstname) in informal style (no Mrs or Sir or any equivalent). They can talk even to the principal this way. However it's not common in Hungarian schools.
#61
#62
arthbach 2 years ago
IKEA saying 'meatball' is a little 'love name'. It's their equivalent of 'darling' or 'shnookums'.
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
They then follow it up with 'Your eyes are like the bedroom department. So easy to get lost in'
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#63
Marcos Valencia 2 years ago
As a Spaniard, I got immunity: my brain is permanently occupied with the last Eurovision song.
Load More Replies... Maris madness 2 years ago
My British voice pops up about once a day saying " are you having a laugh"
Carla Phillips 2 years ago
Is it Hagrid? Is he talking about Aragog? You know when he hatched, he was no bigger than a Pekingese
cerinamroth 2 years ago
I'm British but I would never let a Londoner anywhere near my head-voice!
Frostfirefox919 2 years ago
aaaaaaaaaaand now its in my head bass boosted and deep-fried, aaaaAAAAAAAAAAA
#64
PeeledPotato 2 years ago
I had to search this up to see if they were actually trying to fool me... they werent
Alicia M 2 years ago
I appreciate all the people who first tried things to figure out what was edible. Can you imagine not having any idea this is asparagus and wanting to pull it and eat it? Looks like a weird, thick grass, and I like asparagus.
Alicia M 2 years ago
And I understand they were eating it out of necessity to survive but I still want to give them props.
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#65
#66
keyboardtek 2 years ago (edited)
No! As every Bond movie shows, villains are billionaires who build in the most remote places on earth where it is impossible to transport building materials. And they have a personal army of thugs that never have to eat or use the bathroom. And those thugs all have matching uniforms so we can tell them from the good guys.
Christof Irran 2 years ago
"Milan 2016: German lighting designer Ingo Maurer turned Milan's Torre Velasca into a glowing red beacon with an installation for car brand Audi during Milan design week" from dezeen.com Apr. 26, 2016
Robert Trebor 2 years ago
Several cities in Texas have these buildings with tops that look like an updated Barad-dur.
Chintan Shah 2 years ago
Yup, no idea where it could be in this huge city. Maybe I should try the countryside, I'm sure I'll get a clue in the forest on a random hidden trail
#67
afia kooma 2 years ago
Stop dissing on Judas, his job was as preordained and important as Jesus' if you belive in that thing
#68
#69
Chicken Nugget 2 years ago
walking around upside down in a swimsuit with a tap dancing dog on your elbows while singing the happy birthday song isn't illegal either i'd actually pay good money to see that
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Those tablets you're trying out? I'd lay off them for a while if I were you.
Load More Replies... David A Paterson 2 years ago
I like the user name "Katie Didn't". It reminds me of two books on grasshoppers that I read as a teenager "What katydid?" and "What katydid next?"
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I have those books! They were my mum's and she often referenced the titles when talking about my sister (Catie).
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#70
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
A movie about gaslighting a dog that ends with no resolution. Yay. The worst one I knew before 'inside out'
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afia kooma 2 years ago
If you wait a little while, the wind that hugged me yesterday will come and wrap around you to, and you can have my hug if you want it 💕
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#77
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Me: *clicks link to website* Website: "Initiate popup cascade! Get 10% off your first order when you give us your firstborn child!" Me: "Dude, I don't even know what you sell yet and whether I want it!"
#78
JM 2 years ago (edited)
“But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door…” 🎶
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
The Proclaimers had better meet up with Toad the Wet Sprocket so they can walk on the ocean.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Why would anyone want to walk away from Edinburgh? Just do the North Coast 500, twice ... saves getting your feet wet, too.
Norman Beattie 2 years ago
That would be a great album cover for "The Proclaimers" it's on my playlist !
#79
dingliusyeeeeeeeeeee 2 years ago (edited)
LIFE IS A HIGHWAY, AND I DON'T WANNA RIDE IT ALL DAY LONG!
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#80
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
My package went from China to Great Britain. I live in Switzerland. I am very confused and it has not arrived yet. What's going on?
Superb Owl 2 years ago
Does this mean that the package fell into ocean from Fort Wayne, Indiana? That's quite a tumble it took, through Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Maryland - assuming it took the shortest route.
Mr. Nurse Man 2 years ago
There’s…no ocean in Ft. Wayne, Indiana…*makes confused Midwestern noises*
Paul K. Johnson 2 years ago
I was born and raised in Fort Wayne. They never told me about the ocean it's near. I know about the three rivers though.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Geography isn't my strongest suit, but I'm nearly positive there's no ocean anywhere near Fort Wayne, Indiana.
Obsessive Compulsive Donkey 2 years ago
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
#81
#82
Chicken Nugget 2 years ago
spider-man, spider-man, does whatever a spider can, in a chair, underwear, spider-man, spider-man...
Mat Hall 2 years ago
Spiderman, Spiderman, chilling in his camper van. Kicking back, drinking booze, covered head to toe in sweet tattoos. Hang on, that is not Spiderman!
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MaximumKarmaSaint 2 years ago
I've seen the rest of it (the post I mean), and let me just expect to have a real life version of Kong vs Godzilla, because we're about to get Tank Monkeys vs Nuclear Spiders.
#83
Chicken Nugget 2 years ago
on one hand, free soup. on the other hand, i will die a painful death and be tortured for eternity. *slurps soup while burning on a spit roast in the underworld* best decision i ever made
Ranger Kanootsen 2 years ago
DON'T DO IT. I drank tree soup a few months ago, not only did it taste and smell TERRIBLE but I had to go to the hospital.
#84
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
Why can I *hear* this so clearly? Is there some alternate dimension where this song plays on repeat for eternity and our brains just tune in?
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Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
"Oh dear, now he's drowning deep in his sea of loathing. This is serious."
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
Ever see the stick man video where the two stick guys summon a demon and the song plays?
#85
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Chicken Nugget 2 years ago
i would never eat that, i'd wear it until someone notices, and i'll be like "oh yeah thats just my crocissant" and just take a huge bite
PopscotchM 2 years ago
1. very unsanitary. 2. that's amazing please do it
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#88
#89
#90
Maria B 2 years ago
For some reason that is utterly - everything - Zen, adorable, you name it.
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Veronica Jean 2 years ago
I have a friend who has this level of comedy. But he was in a coma for months and declared brain dead at one point so we've learned to love him anyway.
#91
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Every time I see a bin that says “General Waste” I say “good morning sir”.
Em 2 years ago
Never seen that, but I do the thing from How I Met Your Mother where, whenever someone says a common phrase that includes a military rank ("man, that's a major bummer") you have to salute and repeat the phrase, like you're greeting the officer ("Major Bummer!").
Load More Replies... David A Paterson 2 years ago
Was driving the other day and saw a sign Saint Kilda Road Works. "That's good", I said, "it never has before".
#92
UpQuarkDownQuark (he/hey you) 2 years ago
And then in college you’ll learn that’s called a cuboid.
#93
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
My younger cat’s name is Preacher, but the nickname I call him by the most often is “Bepis/Pebis” because I am an edgy meme-lord XD
#94
Moxitron Jazz 2 years ago (edited)
am I the only one who is sick of seeing that stupid face of his already? Worst meme ever, and that's fukn saying somethin'...
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I've never seen it before so am very confused...
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mysterious(all pronouns) 2 years ago
I believe this book is called "Everything you need to know about physics(it could be another course, but it looks like a physic book) in one big fat notebook"
#96
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Blurryface 2 years ago
Whoever’s reading this, I hope you have an amazing day, and that you are blessed with a chance to pet a random dog. ❤️
majandess 2 years ago
Oh, man... There was a wonderful woman with an adorable tiny pooch named Brandy in Walmart. And bless Brandy; all she wanted to do was say hi, lick my hand, and roll over for belly rubs. I probably spent five minutes talking this lady while loving on her dog. I was so grateful for the opportunity to be a dog friend.
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Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
Once again, the memes were only kinda funny, but my fellow Panda's comments were hilarious.
Blurryface 2 years ago
Whoever’s reading this, I hope you have an amazing day, and that you are blessed with a chance to pet a random dog. ❤️
majandess 2 years ago
Oh, man... There was a wonderful woman with an adorable tiny pooch named Brandy in Walmart. And bless Brandy; all she wanted to do was say hi, lick my hand, and roll over for belly rubs. I probably spent five minutes talking this lady while loving on her dog. I was so grateful for the opportunity to be a dog friend.
Load More Replies... Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
Once again, the memes were only kinda funny, but my fellow Panda's comments were hilarious.
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