Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Honesty is a trait many people value greatly when it comes to relationships. Any kind of relationship really, friendships included. A 2022 study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal revealed that people put honesty at the top when it comes to friends.
UK non-profit The Oddfellows conducted their own survey and found the same with people aged 60 and over. 45% of the respondents in a 2,000-people survey claimed that honesty is the most important trait among friends. Trust, loyalty, and dependability followed after.
Although we agree that being honest with people is paramount, we still keep secrets. They're not all in bad faith, of course; sometimes, we might do it to safeguard their peace of mind. But we like secrets in general, and we like reading about others' secrets even more. That's why when one netizen asked, "What secret are you currently hiding from someone that you're willing to share on Reddit?", over 16,000 people rushed in to read what folks had to say.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I've started to on occasion "accidentally" (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law.
I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.
She doesn't have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down.
I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I "really" thought of her, expecting the worst because that's been her experience of family.
Apparently she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.
So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I'm getting old and worse at managing my tech.
Rob Dabank 1 year ago
The only thing I can think of that would be more beautiful than this is if you can tell her directly.
Load More Replies...
ZGutr 1 year ago
That's wonderful! Please take it the next step and tell it to her face. She'll know by now it's not just a thing you say. For the phone trick might become transparent when happening often and could backfire.
John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 1 year ago
People not used to this level of kindness will think you want something from them whenever they are treated nicely
Load More Replies...
The user that asked this question, r/Asphoric, was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. They told us what inspired them to inquire about other Redditors' secrets and shared their own secret that prompted this whole thread.
r/Asphoric tells us they had a secret of their own they happened to be hiding, which is why they wanted to know about other Redditors' secrets. The Redditor didn't anticipate how many people would share their dark secrets about feeling lonely and dejected.
"I asked the question knowing that people may say some dark/NSFW stuff, but to see the outpouring from everyone was really moving," they said. "I read a lot of comments that touched on a lot of difficult subjects. I felt both sad but also proud of everyone for having the courage to share what they did."
RELATED:
#2
I told my best friend I won a holiday in a raffle and wanted her to come with me free of charge. We stayed in a nice hostel, did lots of fun activities and I paid for it all with a “pre paid credit card from the raffle”. I didn’t win anything, I booked it all myself and paid everything for her because she deserved a break and I knew she couldn’t afford it nor would she have accepted me paying for her. I would do it again 10x over, she deserves the absolute world.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
Wow, Idk why exactly but those darn onion ninjas got to me with this post. Its truly so amazingly beautiful to see true friendship and love. Like man, I'm embarrassed 😊kinda by how much this has gotten to me.😂😭 maybe because I'm over tired. 😴🤷♀️
Panda Kicki 1 year ago
I use similar tecniques, I really do a lot of raffles and lotteries so aome are true winnings, but I habe also just used it as a excuse to give friends stuff they need but cant afford.
Couragetcd 1 year ago
What a wonderful friend! I hope their friend knows they have such a loving and supportive person in their corner even if they don't know the truth about the vacation.
#3
I won the lottery last month. Nobody knows. I hired a money manager and invested it all. My wife's birthday is next month and I plan to surprise her with the news that we are debt free and can retire immediately.
varwenea 1 year ago
Very practical and sweet gesture. Two months total wait time is reasonable. Happy retirement to both.
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
Some winners spend up to a year, getting their ducks in order. Some grab the money and spend like it'll never run out. I would like to be one of the former. All I need is that winning ticket.
Load More Replies...
Blue Cicada 1 year ago
He might have made arrangements with an advisor before he even claimed the ticket. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that 1) his investments are fiscally responsible and ethically in line with his wife's values and 2) he has new cash on hand and/or some of the investments are easily cashed as they decide as a couple how to use it.
Bexxxx 1 year ago
Exactly, it’s much better to give people the benefit of the doubt than to always assume malicious intent every time :)
Load More Replies... Verena 1 year ago
@all people being upset with this guy, because he should have told his wife and shared the win, "because they are married": Turn it around. He gambled and lost a significant amount of money. Is she obligated to help pay off the debt, in which she had no part in in causing it? Same answer?
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
Yes, they are married and if he gambled, it is already gone and she *is* "paying off the debt she didn't cause." You are not 2 individuals living together, those are roommates. A married couple is legally seen as a unit.
Load More Replies...
Bexxxx 1 year ago
He took the time to make responsible decisions with a money manager and decided to wait to surprise her for an upcoming special occasion (her birthday). He’s already made it clear she will be able to retire off these winnings too. No harm done, literally none,, as long as they already have a trusting relationship and the wife isn’t a greedy ah. We don’t have enough info to be so judgmental.
Load More Replies...
P.sharma 5 months ago
Is this in US? Why is early retirement a thing? Why is it like, I am in my 30ies, and win a lot of money, never need to work a day in my life? After the first few months, traveling around enjoying life, that I get. At some point, the life must get dull. I get it if people say I can resign from my current job, and work with something I really want to. Something creative, like art or opening a restaurant. Retirement for me means by working at all, why do young people want to do that. People wanting to be stay at home parent, that I get.
r/Asphoric doesn't think keeping secrets is an evil thing, and neither would they be a hard limit in relationships. "I think secrets are necessary and a part of human nature. They're certainly not a dealbreaker for me in relationships – if someone is comfortable enough with you, they'll open up. It just takes time."
The Redditor also agreed to share the secret that prompted the whole thread. "I had my girlfriend text me asking me to come over (even though I could not) so I could escape a miserable vacation with my family," the netizen shares. "I have not told my parents, and I don't intend to."
#4
I am the 7 accounts that donate to my cousins streams. Little man needs something positive and it's better if he thinks it's from internet strangers and not a sympathetic cousin.
Edit: For those telling me to link his stuff, I'm not going to. Not meant as an insult to the decent folk on here, but the internet is vile and I would like to spare him that as long as possible.
Blue Cicada 1 year ago
Please compliment him openly, also. (Not necessarily online). We need to know that people in our lives appreciate our skills, talents and interests.
Rowboat 1 year ago
It refers to live streams, twitch and YouTube are the most popular platforms. It started mostly with gaming but has since spread to all kinds of niche corners, a chap I watch will stream himself coding and just talks about his processes and all sorts of news with his fanbase. It gives creators a way of interacting more directly with their community instead of through comments made after the fact.
Load More Replies...
Jonathan Setter 5 months ago
wow if you could sign up to my patreon too it would make my day....
#5
I am a teacher, and I am off for the summer. I get to spend all that time with my daughter, age 4, and my son, who is not quite one yet. My wife works full time. My son is just starting to talk, and my wife and I have a friendly competition going to try to get him to say Dada or Mama first. What she doesn't know is that while she is at work, I spend the day talking about her and saying the word Mama a lot. We have been working on it together for weeks. The other day, she walked in the door after getting home from a long day, and he looked at her and said Mama clear as day. She was so happy and rubbed it in my face (playfully) that he said Mama first. Even did a little happy dance. I'll never tell her.
Edit: I'm going to edit since I can't respond to everybody: Thanks for all the kind words, and I am glad my little story has made so many of you happy!
Brittania Kelli 1 year ago
Yea, I had the opposite. Son's father worked over time to make sure our son's first word was Dada and he said it on Mother's Day.
Mary Brizendine 1 year ago
I taught my son to say Dada first. So then when he woke up at night, I told my husband, he's calling for you.
Load More Replies...
Mandy Groshong 1 year ago
My hubs and I had the same "competition." I'd teach the twins both mama and dada to "be fair," knowing they'd *wisely* choose to honor me first. Hubs acted like he was only pushing dada, but when I was working in the other room I heard him secretly teaching them mama. *Swoon* Now they're toddlers and use mama and dada interchangeably for both of us so we definitely messed up.
Caroline Starr 1 year ago
TBH, most children say Dada first as it's easier to say. My son's first 'proper' word was 'cockadoodledoo' from his favourite farmyard book I read to him every night.
PandaGoPanda 1 year ago
After the typical mama mama dadda babbles, my son's first clear word was "car" and daughter's was "dolly". I always thought nurture would win over nature until I had kids. It's inbuilt.
Morgen Stern 1 year ago
This is beautiful, giving others what you wish for yourself (and what you know *they* wish for themselves), that's amore.
Monosyllabicgirl 1 year ago
My parents tried same and my younger sister's first word was fre fry
#6
My brother bought chickens as his little organic farm was struggling. I had suggested an honesty box for the excess eggs - he spend hours making his own red barn shaped honesty box.
Eggs went on sale, crickets. Not much business at all. He was so defeated.
All of a sudden, once a week someone now calls by and buys all of his stock. Could be 10-12 boxes of eggs.
That someone, is me.
I buy the eggs.
Kari Panda 1 year ago
Maybe the brother just needs some marketing. Just a small flyer in a few nearby shops or so.
JuJu 1 year ago
Eggs for the win. You can always get a good meal with eggs.
Load More Replies... Verena 1 year ago
I am curious abozt what OP does with that many eggs, but not that curious to create an account. I hope both will figure out some strategies to match organic egg seekers and providers.
Alexandra 1 year ago
That is so sweet. It reminds me of a farmer whose entire crop of onions couldn't be sold to stores because, due to the heavy rainfall, they were too small to sell. It was a massive loss to an already struggling farmer. So, someone got on facebook, the word spread and within days people kept coming to him wanting to buy his undersized but perfectly good-tasting onions. He sold his entire crop and when he hit his break-even point any profit he made was donated by him to the local foodbank.
Mammie 1 year ago
I agree with Kari Panda, maybe some Facebook posts and some advertising would help. Most people will pay store prices and even a little more for fresh eggs.
Aidan Pite 1 year ago
My mom and a lot of her friends all have connections for eggs. I just went camping with her and at one point they were all talking about who they get their eggs from. And at one point joked about telling the farmer he's doing too good of a job because his eggs were too big for our camping egg cartons.
Load More Replies...
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
*demands breakfast* Don't forget my saucer of coffee, either!
Brian Droste 1 year ago
That is a little less than 2 eggs a day. Sounds reasonable to me. I eat two eggs every day for breakfast. That is 14 eggs every week.
Load More Replies...
ROSESARERED 10 months ago
I love buying farm fresh eggs...i get a dozen every couple of weeks, ,$5 AUS. so much cheaper than the super
Couragetcd 1 year ago
My mom has chickens. And my aunt. And a lot of people around me according to the little signs on the road side. Pro of Living in a mostly rural area
#7
My husband has large feet, large enough that there are only a few places I can buy him shoes and since the in person place near me closed down they're pretty much all online. All this to say: his shoes are $$$$.
He also grew up poor. Like the kitchen floor was his bedroom poor. He stopped being able to find his shoe size in stores before he was in high school, and before he met me he always only had one pair of shoes at a time, and sneakers were his everyday/work/dress shoe. He even worked fast food jobs in regular sneakers because he couldn't find non slip in his size. And because getting each pair was so difficult and costly he'd often wear his shoes until they had holes in the soles before replacing them.
When he was studying to be a mechanic I got him a pair of steel toed boots for his birthday. I splurged and got a good brand that would last for years. He recognized the brand and knew what they sold for and he demanded I return them, he was planning on squeezing into cheaper, smaller boots and dealing with it. So I lied, said I had bought them months before during a sale. Got 'em at 40% off, then signed up for all their stuff for an additional 20% off.
I had paid full price.
I've bought him "sale shoes" several times since then. One time he even cried because I had gotten him a second pair of sneakers well before his old ones needed to be replaced. His shoes kept getting wet from some yard work he was doing and he'd have no choice but wear wet shoes around. His last pair of work boots showed up with the first pair of sandals he has owned in over 25 years, because there was a "BOGO sale" that I totally made up, I just wanted to get him sandals because we camp a lot and him using camp showers without sandals always grossed me out, but I had never managed to find a pair in his size until then.
brookeannsimmer 1 year ago
My grandmother took care of disabled adults and one named Alfred was a wonderfully kind man with severely disformed hands and feet, and this made normal shoes impossible for him to wear. A leather worker in our town, for over 20 years, made him custom shoes and only ever charged for the cost of the materials. Alfred passed many years ago, but we still use the same person for any and all repairs and alterations.
Jan Crump 1 year ago
I understand how you feel! My wonderful hubby grew up in Mexico, had to quit school in the 5th grade to support his family cause his father was an alcoholic. He did get his first pair of shoes until he was 14, and then because he was going on an oil rig job and had to have them. He wrapped banana leaves around his feet with cords until then so his younger brother and sister could have shoes and clothes for school. When we got together he was 45 and only had work boots and worn dress shoes for after work that he bought at a thrift store. He now has over a 100 pairs of shoes of every kind after 25 years. Every holiday, "sales" like the ones you find, and other chances I get, I buy him shoes. It is so wonderful to see the happiness in their eyes isn't it!!! He is so wonderful I can't even explain!!
Missandei Worm 1 year ago
Yeah it’s a struggle. My husband wears a 17. Sometimes if you look online at the clearance you can find them cheap cause there’s almost no demand
Chloe Belle 1 year ago
Love sees your heart, you incredible wife! You know what would be cool? If there could be some sort of scholarship group-funded by major shoe brands where kids of shoe sizes larger than what walmart regularly carries can at least get one new pair of shoes a year. Studies are coming out on the negative impact second hand shoes can have on kids, trying to support a large frame by cramming proportionate feet into smaller shoes could cause a whole mess of issues.
Monosyllabicgirl 1 year ago
Not size issues but my bf grew up in poverty in East Poland while under communism. Extreme poverty and things even now aren't available in stores like they are here. Like there was no "walmart" you bought off brand Chechnian shoes at an open air market and got beat up at school. Nikes cost 60$ and his mom made the equivalent of 40$ a month. Dad an alcoholic. So he had worn down offbrand shoes and was teased mercilessly growing up. When we met he only had one pair of work shoes. After we moved in together for his birthday I wanted to do something special and had seen him scrolling Air Jordan ads. I took a (ill advised but worth it) loan against my paychecks to get him a pair of Jordan's. He cried. Happy tears. Every day he wiped the shoes down with a chamois rag. Ten years later he still wipes down the shoes after wearing but now has a more pairs in rotation.
bbfa 1 year ago
So sweet, I understand this. My hubby is polio handicapped and one shoe is 3 ½, the other men's 6. They cost almost $600 a pair, and new ones are so painful for awhile that he just won't get new ones. He can afford it. He has two pairs. One is in tatters, but the other pair look fine. It's not easy for people with odd sizing.
Janet McG 1 year ago
I thought I had read about a place to find odd sized or mismatched shoes. Maybe this place can help. www.oddshoefinder.com
Load More Replies...
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago
I hear you. I'm a short woman with wide and large feet- size 10.5 (no, I'm not a hobbit- not hairy enough).
#8
I've been homeless for a while and I have a job interview at cvs tomorrow at noon. I'm so goddamn terrified. I need this job so badly. I'm desperate.
LuckyL 1 year ago
The comment is from 3 days ago (by the way, I'm shocked that bored panda has such new information) and so far he hasn't responded. There are also questions how it went.
Load More Replies...
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Oh I feel this. I start work on Monday after 16 months of no job and 8 months sleeping on someone's sofa. Never thought I'd be so grateful for a job that doesn't even sound that great. Yay! I'm actually going to follow up with them on Reddit, hopefully they got it.
Gen X Feral 1 year ago
May the universe bless you with lots of raises and an awesome boss ❤️
Load More Replies...
Blue Cicada 1 year ago
EVERY job interview is a chance to practice presenting ourselves with confidence and competence. We hope you got this CVS job. If not, take what you learned from the interview process and use it on your next application. You _deserve_ this job. When you get work, put in your best effort and take pride in completing tasks with efficacy and accuracy. If you hate the job position/company, do your absolute best while you gather the skills, experience and references needed to apply for a higher position/different company. We are proud of you for taking the scary step of applying.
Jan Feline 1 year ago
I had a job interview once on a really bad day. I actually told the interviewer I was using this as a practice interview. He admired my honesty and hired me, lol
Load More Replies... Monosyllabicgirl 1 year ago
If anyone reading this sees this- don't tell them that you are homeless at an interview. You "live with a friend." They want stability and the word homeless unfortunately still has a mental image of dirty and addicted. Even though we know that's not necessarily true and everyone goes through hard times. After you're hired? Sure tell a trusted person, they may have a network that can help you. Yes it sucks that the word has so much stigma
Agent Smith 1 year ago
Good luck! In these terrible times homelessness can happen to anyone. I hope this gets you back on track.
John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 1 year ago
Don't show that desperation though. Finding a job is about on par with modern dating
#9
Idunno about "hiding," per se, but I've never told anyone. When I first moved to a new high school when I was 15, I ended up in a bad way very quickly with depression and such, like sleeping every hour of the day except for school kinda bad. That's not the story though. I just felt like the school itself was really dreary and I didn't have any friends, so sometimes to just escape for few minutes I'd go to the bathroom that was usually empty during class and chill for a few minutes to gather my thoughts I guess. Anyway, one time I wrote a post it note that said "You are beautiful :)" and slapped it on the mirror and left. Don't know why, just felt like I needed it, so someone else probably did too I guess? When I came back to the bathroom the next day there were replies written on the note about how much someone had needed to hear that that day, etc etc. It made a dark time a little better to know I could make some other sad teenage girls at least smile maybe. I did it a few more times that year every month or so.
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
So many times when we are down we feel so alone. We don't realize that there are others around who are also feeling just as bad or worse.
BK BigFish 1 year ago
Often, focusing on what you can do to make others happy, makes you happy. Focusing solely on your own happiness is, ironically, a recipe for unhappiness.
Load More Replies...
Max Hofbauer 1 year ago (edited)
Now just imagine that kinda thing happening to a man... I´d love to get that kind of boost
justanotherweirdo 1 year ago
That's so nice. I've noticed several stickers saying "You are beautiful" on random places not too far from my home, and it always makes me happy.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
Glad you could make other people feel better. By doing this, I hope it made your day/s better also.
Denise Melek 2 months ago
Years before I was diagnosed I thought sleeping all the time or wanting to sleep always was normal or because I'm unfit...it was actually depression.
#10
I split my cat's treats in half
She's a chonky girl... and she'll never know.
Troy Parr 1 year ago
Actually I think your cat has a valid case against you. 426457750_...5__880.jpg 
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
*glares evilly at the mean soft can-opener* I'm telling her!
sturmwesen 1 year ago
come on... two treats are more than one. double joy!
Load More Replies... 
Miss Teri 1 year ago
My kids always said my cat Gizmo was fat, they even called him Fatmo, he wasn't he was just overly floofy!
Load More Replies...
#11
I have rented a bouncy house water slide for my wife's 39th birthday. She has no idea.
FROGLET 1 year ago
I love it when adults believe they can have fun like a child can <3 Just because you're thirty-nine doesn't mean you can't have fun! My parents, uncle, and grandparents think Hobby Horsing is weird. They see adults that belong in an asylum roaming free. I see adults having fun. Are you a sixty-two year old man? Go buy a kids meal at McDonalds. Are you a grown a*s woman? PLAY SOME DAMN VIDEO GAMES.
Diana Deming 1 year ago
Thanks! I'm actually on my way to an arcade to play pinball right now.
Load More Replies... 
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 year ago
It's my birthday today, and now I'm feeling slightly let down.
SageHare37 1 year ago (edited)
Happy birthday! My birthday is tomorrow. Perhaps we should find out if we can rent inflatable waterslides for next year. EDIT: TIL to use safe search when using the terms "adult" and "inflatable" in an internet search bar.
Load More Replies...
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
i wish we were related! my 60-something birthday is coming up--I WANT THAT!
Chris Kelly 1 year ago
Good for you, you really are only as old as you think you are. I'm in my 80's but deep down inside I'm 12 and a bouncy house water slide would have been great for for my birthday! They all tell me no, no, you can't do that. I say have a Blast on her birthday & stay young
Agent Smith 1 year ago
Years ago we rented a full on arcade sized Daytona game. Two person, sitting down experience with pedals and shifter - for a friend's bachelor party. It was the best fun and after a weekend of non stop playing I got to third on the play list. Not bad for a young woman, back then.
#12
Im in debt and only eat once a day. i tried to end everything but when i ask for help in reddit. someone just saved me from hunger for me and my dog. it gives me hope that strangers would extend a hand for help.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
Couldn't you get help of some kind with food? Would you qualify for food stamps or there are food pantries also that you could go to.
YevvieART 1 year ago
it's not that simple everywhere. we're skipping meals rn and sleeping whole days to *save*, my mother being cancer patient and pronounced disabled, yet we're allowed to use food bank *once* per year and get no other financial aid. no stamps, no pantries, no places we're *allowed* to get help from. sometimes there is no hope.
Load More Replies...
Christine Watson 1 year ago
The humane society and some shelters will also provide support with pet costs to help you and your pet staff together during tough times
Debra Mabrey 1 year ago
Grt Gma would say 'if you're still here, you still have things to do '.
Alicia GKB 1 year ago
Being a credit union retiree, I suggest you seek "debt management companies" on Google ... there are some really GOOD ones out there but I can't recommend any here. Good luck.
#13
I haven’t been able to get over my dad’s death. Everyone has moved on, and it takes everything I have to get out of bed. I miss him so much.
Content Wombat 1 year ago
I feel you, my friend. When a loved one dies, you don't really get "over it" but the pain gets less raw as the years pass x
HI, I'M A SHOUTY MAN 1 year ago
Yep... even just the other day I was in tears on the phone with my friend because of a perfectly innocent conversation. I was getting ready for my birthday party, and we were chatting and he said something like "oh I never know what to do with birthday cards because you don't really want to chuck them out but you don't need to hang on to them" and I just thought of all my birthday cards from my nan, who died nearly 8 years ago when I was still quite young, and I just broke down.
Load More Replies...
Jawbreaker 1 year ago
You never get over it. You learn to live with it. But it's ducking hard and takes a long long time. I lost my father when I was 14. I'm 32 now. I still have periods of time, where I miss him more than usual!
ZGutr 1 year ago
It's been more that 25 years since I lost my mother and it's still rough at times. Wat got me out the loop is realizing the best way to honor her is to be the best version of me I can be. Doing the best I can to live how she raised me, and be at least half as strong as she was.
Blue Cicada 1 year ago
Very true, well said. Personal milestones are difficult, Dad isn't here in person to celebrate. But I take pride with each step, knowing how pleased he'd be.
Load More Replies... Monosyllabicgirl 1 year ago
Some of us don't grieve as we are unfortunately practical and know that life ends in death. I was talking to a friend the other day, my brother in law committed sui.cide 2 weeks ago, and I told her I wish I had tears and grief so that I shared what other people are feeling. And it's truth. The funeral is today and I kind of don't want to go being the only person who won't be crying. It isn't that I don't miss him. I do, and now my 6 year old niece has no dad. There's this ridiculous part of my brain that doesn't allow feelings that it doesn't find "useful" like sadness, grief and anger. I've been in counciling for years and most of them tell me most people wish they didn't have these feelings. I'd ...I don't know, rather feel more human?
DuckDuckGooseberry 1 year ago
I had a friend, I only knew him for a year & a half but we really really bonded. He died two years ago in April, and I still miss him every day
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
My mom died on Mother's Day in 1977. Still not over it. You never do, you just get used to it.
Kombatbunni 1 year ago
It’s been 11 years since my Grandpa passed, 8 years since my Grandma passed, and I still miss them very much :( my sincerest condolences to you ❤️
#14
I have a sweet one.
My father is convinced that lilies were my late mother's favorite flower, because their wedding venue was filled to the brim with them and she was supposed to be the one who picked the flowers. He got her lilies for every birthday, anniversary, and whenever she was in the hospital (my mother was in poor health most of her life). When she passed away, the funeral was full of lilies, and he still sometimes puts a vase of lilies beside her urn.
The thing is, my mother once confessed to me that lilies weren't her favorite flower. She was fine with them, but she preferred morning glories and sunflowers. My domineering grandmother, however, told her those weren't classy enough for a wedding and hounded her about it until my mom gave in and let her pick lilies. Mom was actually pretty wounded by how dramatic the floral arrangements ended up being - another big, showy way for her mom to say, "I'm right and you're wrong." When she later voiced this, my grandmother brushed it off with, "Please, no one's going to remember a thing about your wedding."
But my dad remembered. He got her lilies every day of their honeymoon, and by the end of the week she'd gone from annoyed to deeply touched. He didn't know the backstory, he just wanted to make her happy, and in doing so he kind of stripped the negative association away from them. She told me she liked that *he* gave her lilies more than flowers themselves. They turned from a symbol of being ignored to a sign that somebody was thinking of her happiness.
She swore me to secrecy, and I'll take it to the grave. RIP, Mom.
UPDATE: So as many of you have said, the "take it to the grave" line will mock me forever, because y'all convinced me to tell my dad today. As predicted, it only took a few hours to get a "this u?" text from a sibling, and we all quickly conferred and agreed I should call him in the morning.
And Dad's first reply? "Oh yeah, I know that, morning glories were her favorite. They just don't sell bouquets of those, so I'd get her the next best thing." Apparently she always said lilies were her favorite, but she talked about positive memories around morning glories so much that he put two and two together.
However, he had *no* idea that my grandmother chose the wedding flowers, and was kinda pissed to find out("Doesn't that just...sound like her?"😒). He wishes Mom said something, but figures maybe she didn't want to "win" and still end up thinking about a fight with her mom every time she looked at the flowers. He's touched to hear he made them special for her, but did say she often told him how much she appreciated it, just left out the stuff about the wedding. Interestingly, he thinks Mom actually exaggerated the honeymoon lilies; he's pretty sure he only gave her lilies twice, on the way out and on the way back home.
As I said in another post, Dad does not know what Reddit is and does not care to learn, but he thought it was nice that the story made people happy. Then he launched into telling me why I need to get a new car already, and the thread was lost lmao.
"Aw, that's good, see, you should send your little stories to the New Yorker or something! People will read them, I keep telling you!" - My dear old dad, who only vaguely understands what my side hustle is and has adorable faith in both me and the publishing industry as a result.
Dad did somehow completely miss that Mom liked sunflowers, to the point that I don't think he actually believes me ("Nah, I think you misunderstood, she liked that Van Gogh painting, that's what she meant." "The painting *of sunflowers,* Babo! That's why!"). But you can't win 'em all. 😂 Thanks for wrapping this up in a bow, Reddit!
Susan Teter 1 year ago
My mom always LOVED Iowa wild roses (ditch roses) because she picked them for her mom when she was little, they smelled SO good, and they were free-my grandparents were dirt poor. Of all the flowers at mom's funeral, I wish it would have been wild rose season!
Monosyllabicgirl 1 year ago
Wild roses are the best! The smell hasn't been bred out! These will always make me think of my mom because we had 2 hardy little bushes in the backyard that somehow survived losing most of roots when building was torn down. Used to pick them for her all the time and put in a glass on dining table
Load More Replies... Kristina Atwood 1 year ago
Roses never impressed me. Back when my husband was trying to get my attention, he happened to hear a comment I'd made to a coworker about roses vs daisies. He remembered that passing comment. He now and then finds daisies for me.
#15
Sometimes I'm grateful that I woke up blind. I was a total workaholic and going blind was a nightmare that first summer, but the fact I couldn't work in nursing anymore-- ESPECIALLY post-covid-- did wonders for my mental health. I also realized how much I love hanging out with my 3 sons. I didn't know how much I loved their company until I wasn't working 50-60 hour weeks, mostly 3rd shift, so I hardly ever saw my kids. Being blind sucks, and I feel guilty sometimes for thinking that I prefer it to how things were before, but given the choice, I don't think I'd go back to being sighted, because that would mean the nightmare of working in nursing again and never seeing my husband and my kids.
Edit: to answer the most-asked questions...
I woke up with a disease called AZOOR. 131 people have it and it ate my retinas.
And for f**k's sake yall, I use a computer. I type with a keyboard and listen with TTS. It ain't rocket surgery. Blind folks use technology, same as yall lol
And if you asked me a question and I didn't answer it, sorry! There were a LOT of yall asking questions and I did my best to answer as many of yall that I could!
Agfox 1 year ago
For anyone interested: Acute Zonal Occult Outer Retinopathy (AZOOR) is characterised by sudden visual impairment, often presenting with scotoma (aka 'blind spot) and photopsia (seeing a light when not looking at a light) in young to middle-aged adults, showing a female predominance
David 1 year ago (edited)
Thanks. And for anyone wondering what the word "occult" means when used in medicine: "MEDICINE (of a disease or process) not accompanied by readily discernible signs or symptoms."
Load More Replies...
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
This is painfully lovely. Your loss of eyesight allowed you to really see. I hope you live life to the fullest and that your family knows how much you value them!
Gen X Feral 1 year ago
New fear unlocked. Man but she's handling it like a super hero. I'm afraid of the dark and still have to have a nightlight ffs 😳
Brenda White 1 year ago
I was a special needs teacher aide and one entire year I had an 11th grade blind student. It's absolutely amazing how skilled he was. I knew he had gotten himself in trouble with scamming the phone company but was forbidden with discussing that with him. When he turned 18 and got busted by the FBI, he was sentenced to 11 years in a federal prison. My son told me there's a page on him in Wikipedia.
Freya (she/they/he) 1 year ago
This happened to one of my coworkers. She woke up blind and had to quit her job as a deli clerk.
Kristina Atwood 1 year ago
I've often wondered which sense I could lose and still feel alive. I love to read, but I love music more. I was almost legally blind until a TBI, after which my vision improved dramatically. I still don't know, but I appreciate what I've been given. That you chose to accept and move on is inspiring. Thank you.
#16
I am so content and happy with my life (kids, wife, job, health) right now that I feel guilt. I rarely share my contentment with people (other than my wife) bc of it. It’s not that I’m like fabulously posh, or don’t have issues or whatever, im just sincerely content in my security and modest comforts. I feel like you can’t simply acknowledge that your life is perfect without drawing the ire of someone else.
Argle Bargle 1 year ago
Which is why it's always best to keep your cards close to your chest. People are filled with envy and vitriol when someone has good fortune or success.
Load More Replies...
Brandi Nicole 1 year ago
I feel this so much. I am happy in every single aspect of my life and want to share it with the world but the more you give people, the more they can take away so I share little pieces from time to time but just revel in the awesomeness privately for the most part.
Wintermute 1 year ago
Content people don't buy things, so our culture doesn't appreciate contentment.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 1 year ago
Yeah, I'll hear coworkers talking about their various struggles and while I sympathize with them, I really don't have any points of contact with their situations. We are nowhere near wealthy, but we both came from stable families, which enabled us to make beneficial decisions about finances, education, marriage, children, housing, etc. We've worked hard to be where we're at, but there are plenty of others who have worked just as hard and even harder who will never be where we're at.
Emily Kerkstra 1 year ago
everyone deserves this, I'm very glad for you and any others who get to have it
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
Share it with your family. At least let them know that they are beautiful and perfect to you.
Jessica Denny 1 year ago
It's OK to be content. I am also content in life. Don't hide that. Imspire people with your contentness. It's hard to live a life where you are content. ENJOY IT.
Rick Rose 1 year ago
I may have a sort of opposite scenario. I'm comfortable where I am, but family keep telling me I should be more ambitious. Like comfortable isn't good enough, and busy/uncomfortable but richer would be better. I feel like money's gotta have a reason, and if it costs quality of life to get it, it feels like a point was missed somewhere.
#17
My nieces and nephew think our house's Internet gets really spotty after an hour. It's always when they're watching cartoons or YouTube Kids on the tablet, too. They think they've got it figured out. I hear them explaining to eachother that it's just something weird our house does when too many devices are using the router, and it always comes back after fifteen minutes. "Yep, that's exactly it," I assure them, impressed with their technical proficiency, whilst pushing the *block devices* button on our router's phone app. They have absolutely no idea I can do that. And since that's the most effective way to put the tablets down and get them outside for a bit, I ain't tellin'.
David 1 year ago
I'm not in favor of lying to / deceiving your kids in order to manipulate them. I get it - outside play = good. It's the method I don't like. When I wanted my grandkids to stop watching video and go do something else I just told them to their faces. They were usually fine with it because they got lots of both - screen time and outside play. As well as the usual other stuff like drawing / coloring / books, whatever else when you need to be inside.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
OP did not lie or deceive them - just didn't tell them. They are using problem solving skills and critical thinking skills. That's not a terrible thing.
Load More Replies... Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
I think it would be handy for cafes where people buy one cappuccino and occupy a table for hours.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
while i applaud the ingenuity of it, whatever happened to just telling the kids "ok, times up on the tech--go outside & play!" ??? works at my house with the grandkids
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago
Or, how about this.. just tell them to go outside for a bit, find fun stuff to do outside with them so they will WANT to go outside. My son absolutely LOVES his video games, wants to be a game programmer when he is old, but he gets so upset when he can't go outside or it's time to come inside. Especially now that the apartments we moved to he has so many more friends.
#18
Every day, I fantasize about cashing everything in, leaving, and creating a new life for myself elsewhere... like a complete reinvention.
elmortero 1 year ago
You should do it! Really, if you think about it daily, you will eventually regret not doing it. 12 years ago I left my old life in Belgium to live in Spain. I am a completely different person now
ZGutr 1 year ago
Did that too, but all north from you (Netherlands to Sweden) and it's true, lots of change and you change yourself too. I think it's not suited for everyone to do, but for me It was absolutely worth it. PS: Bear in mind, much is different when emigrating, but there is still a job to go to, shopping to do, tax to be paid, cleaning, cooking.
Load More Replies...
visacrum 1 year ago (edited)
aka geographical cure. The problems are inside, not outside. Relocating may have some benefits initially, but at some point, would you then feel like another relocation is in order to 'fix' things? Addendum: I'm not saying to not move. By all means, relocate and enjoy the new community/ customs you may encounter. But whether relocating or not, perhaps consider therapy.
Georgia Ireland 1 year ago
Do it! I met a fellow, a hobo, many years ago who did exactly that. He got tired of the way his life was going (he was married, successful business, kids, nice car and house), and one day he realized it meant nothing to him. His kids were nearly grown, and while he still loved his wife, he felt the road calling to him. He left his old life behind and became a full time hobo, traveling around and seeing the sites. He seemed very content, and sang some hilarious songs. I hope wherever he is, he's happy. 😁😁🖖
Vermonta 1 year ago
I used to do that when it was called running away from home. I was in my early teens so I always went back home. Then when I was 20 I went west coast. It brought me out my shell and I was open to more opportunities. Sometimes it will scare you (financial, place to sleep, ) until you settle in.
Foxglove🇮🇪 1 year ago
I daydream about it but in reality I can't imagine being a different person, just the same person in a different place
#19
For years, I’ve have always jokingly said that “I’m not a people person”. I really mean it. If I could get through a day without any kind of human interaction, I would be a very happy person. The thought of actually having to talk to people or be around them kind of ruins my day.
J C 1 year ago
I love days where I have not human interaction, but I can't go without any animal interaction. I could honestly live in a remote place with like 3 dogs and 5 cats and be perfectly happy. People exhaust me!
Gen X Feral 1 year ago
Living in a remote place is absolutely miserable unless you have the money to make it comfortable. Nothing but animals to talk to is awesome, my 9 cats concur on this subject.
Load More Replies...
Ken Schroeder 1 year ago
I loathe people. Then I started working in retail. Jesus. F*****g. Christ. I hate people SO MUCH MORE!
Senjo Krane 2 months ago
And yet you're on social media. May I respectfully ask why?
Load More Replies...
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Confinement without having to get out and have social interaction was the paradise.
Load More Replies...
Introverted Sloth 1 year ago
After reading many of these posts, I am glad my weirdly wired brain is incapable of being lonely or needing human interaction. Plus other things that I know make me think I am weird. And yes, I am LOL
Roland Nijveld 1 year ago
I'm like this. Although I don't mind being on my own in small crowds. I have a few friends that always have to reach out to me, otherwise we would never speak to each other
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
I never understood how to interact with people. I don't have friends, because I don't understand how to achieve any single person to interact with me for a certain amount of time. Being lonely used to hurt me, but I got used to it. I realized no one talk to me but I simply don't care anymore. I may forget soon how to talk because lack of practice... And no, I can't afford therapy, so this is what it is. One more day ... Or better saying, one less day in the life sentence my existence is. I'm so tired of waking up every morning, how people can feel happy about a new day is beyond to me. I'm waiting everything to end. Someday. Hopefully soon.
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
I only like a handful of people. My husband, maybe even fewer. Our daughter calls him a 'hermit crab' and I think he likes it.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
I find that other people are all right in small doses. I've never needed other people around me, my hubby and kids are enough. I hate being the centre of attention. I'm more than happy in my own company. The rare times I am completely alone are pure paradise. If I have a particularly stressful day at work I always say that if someone were to lock me away in solitary confinement it would be a pleasure not a punishment.
#20
I'm too burned out to function as a person outside of work anymore. Yes, I'll text my partner that I got home safe from work... but then I'll sit in the car and doom scroll or dissociate, sometimes up to an hour. I will also do this when I have to run errands. Just giant blocks of time I can't account for, pissed away.
I don't want to do this. I don't want to live like this. I don't know how to fix it.
Sue Denham 1 year ago
You've told us. Now tell someone else. And keep telling people until the right person helps you feel better. You deserve to enjoy life and it is possible.
Ashlie Benson 1 year ago
It's kind of nice to see that you aren't the only one experiencing something.
One legged Steve 1 year ago
Meds will help. Im on 60mg of Adderall and I still do what you do, just not nearly as much. Seek help with a psychiatrist. Life will get better.
Georgia Ireland 1 year ago
Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Your story reminds me of when I was in the midst of terrible depression/ suicidal ideation. Going to therapy, and talking about what was plaguing me helped me to get my life in order. Another thing that helped tremendously was the book "1325 Buddhist ways to be happy." You don't have to be Buddhist for it to help. Either way, good luck and blessed be!
#21
I just found out 2 of my direct reports will be fired soon because of the restructuring and I have to keep it a secret. They are both excellent employees who do not deserve this at all. I’ve decided I’m handing in my resignation next week after 14 years and no other job lined up. I just can’t look these people in the face. I’m not cut out for this corporate b******t.
Salty_Sasquatch 1 year ago
I think it would be good to give them a head's up so they can start looking for another job before they get fir ed.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Let them know so they can decide what to do. They may want to get laid off to qualify for unemployment insurance (which they are certainly entitled to do).
Load More Replies...
Annika Kremer 1 year ago
No, but I can still understand the sentiment very well. And if I were one of the two, I'd definitely feel touched that someone cared.
Load More Replies... #22
Gay 👍.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
I hope reddit assured the poster that it's perfectly fine to be gay and supported them.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
It's infuriating that it still makes sense for some people to keep this a secret
#23
I'm pregnant! It's still very early and I haven't shared with friends or family yet, but I'm overjoyed. After almost a year of trying, it's a hard secret to keep--I want to shout it from the rooftops!
#24
In 6th grade, I peed in a bottle of coca cola that had 1/4 of it's content remaining. You see, this a*****e of a bully often tries to forcefully take my snack during recess, so I handed him that bottle of cola. He did make a comment that it had an awful after taste, but nothing too crazy of a reaction. At that moment, I felt like I would burst into laughter, but if I did, he would suspect something was wrong with the cola. I also knew i would be in a world of trouble if the teachers knew I did something horrendous like that. So i kept my mouth shut and walked away. Till this day, I haven't seen him since 6th grade, and I'm currently in my first year of college.
Bohemiangirl 1 year ago
I sometimes wonder how many ways food has been messed up for people who are a****les or bullies to restaurant employees, especially fast food ones. Be a jerk and go through life completely unaware of how many gross things you've eaten courtesy of the people you've crossed, lol
#25
The heavy feeling of being lonely. It's not there all the time, it just hits you like an anchor sometimes. Don't have too many friends (mostly because I can be a difficult person to put up with). And its not like I want too many. Just want some company sometimes.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
Uh, this one hit me hard. This profound loneliness. My friends live too far away and/or have lives where I'm just a minor element. When I say I yearn for a girlfriend, most people assume it's because of $ex, but in fact, I yearn for the company. I started writing to have at least these imaginary people to spend time with, but... okay, I'm ranting too much 😅
ggus44 1 year ago
Get a pet! I'm lonely too, my friends disappeared after they started dating, or got married, or had children, or just forgot about me, I don't know. I really don't have any friends today. The closest person I have is the woman who works with me, and we only talk when at work. But I have 2 dogs, and they are everything to me!
Load More Replies...
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
Get a dog. It helps a lot. Plus, people love making friends with other dog-parents!
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
I got used. I realized no one talks to me, except some weirdos who still answer to "good morning or good night". I may forget how to talk. But this doesn't bother me anymore. Once upon a time it hurt me, but I stopped caring. Someday everything will end and I only hope this day will come soon.
Allison Slagle (Randomosity) 1 year ago
A majority of the time I'm fine being alone, but every once in a while I wish I had someone to talk to about my interests besides my mom. 😞
Neopet22 1 year ago
I feel it so much.. I emigrated a few years ago and while at first I was fairly good with having friends because I worked around people,since I started an office job and it moved to WFH,I have totally become a recluse. I only have 1 friend here and I barely see her,lost 2 childhood friends from back home basically and have only my best friend there now that I talk to. I feel like all I do is work and talk to people at work about work. Its so exhausting and mentally draining to be stuck at home all day and not even feel the desire to wake up.
David 1 year ago
Relatable. Introvert + old age = sucks. Family above me all dead. Daughters/ grandkids live two states away. Very few friends and the ones I have are getting old / often don't feel like getting out.
Rosie 1 year ago
Loneliness can be crushing, yes. Please don't let it make you angry/bitter. I've lost count how many times I find myself receiving an email from a friend & bitching (to myself) about how long it's been since they wrote to me. My texts may go unanswered or won't get an answer for days, but if I receive one & don't answer right away, it's always "Where are you?" & the like. It feels so unfair! But I want to keep my few friends, even if I'm not in their thoughts as much as they're in mine. I just try to find distractions & ways to enjoy my own company. It's not easy & there are dark days, but I can do it. You can do it.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
at this point, i have lots of friends--on social media. they are all people i actually know or are relatives, but I have ZERO friends locally that i can hang out with. sometimes i'm good with it, sometimes it brings me to tears. i USED to be a difficult person, but changed my ways drastically about 10-15 yrs ago. Guess i alienated people to the point that they don't feel the need to give me a chance. Company, other than family (kids/grandkids) would be wonderful.
#26
Oh damn a lot of these are really dark, I am sorry for all of you and hope you get people that help you.
My secret is that I am in love with my roommate, but I am too afraid to tell her.
ZGutr 1 year ago (edited)
Please, go for it! She might feel the same. Better to regret things that did not work out than regret the things you did not do. (It's a cliche but that does not mean it isn't true!)
Wintermute 1 year ago
Just have another apartment lined up in case you have to slink away in shame. Live for today, plan for tomorrow! :p
Load More Replies...
Data1001 1 year ago
Agree. Assuming that the OP is a guy, I have to say that women are far more intuitive about such things than guys are. A dude is usually totally clueless that a woman likes him, unless she does or says something to make it very obvious, lol. And if she knows, and you've been living together for a while, it may not be anything she wants. Finding a good roommate can be tough -- I'd suggest proceeding very cautiously here, lest you risk losing that.
Load More Replies... visacrum 1 year ago
I hope you get to see this, because everyone else is living in some John Cusack RomCom fantasy or whatever: More information is needed. What kind of interest, if any, is shown by her? I'm fully assuming you're sending some kind of subtle signals at least, but again, more info needed. If you're not looking for advice, keep doing what you're doing. If you'd like some realistic advice that doesn't involve a cussing boom box in the rain, then maybe flesh this out a bit more.
Sleepy Panda 1 year ago
What a random photo to assign with this post. People smoking at the dinning table.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
if you are already friends, what better foundation to build a relationship on??? TELL HER--life's too short, and you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Hope for a positive outcome, but prepare for the worst.
#27
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
It's not unusual to meet someone who's an only child, but this guy's an only twin.
#28
I'm currently in federal prison, using an unauthorized device, enjoying Reddit.
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 1 year ago (edited)
Regardless of what you have or haven't done, I hope you find peace. And freedom soon, if that is on the cards...
jonathan doe 1 year ago
Unless they hurt a child in any way shape or form or took a life no matter the situation then being in prison is the only place they belong
Load More Replies...
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
You have a contraband device in prison? So ... does that mean you've been shitposting?
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
it happens...just know that you're one shakedown from losing this 'privilege'
#29
I'm NOT colorblind. When I was very young I didn't understand what colorblindness was. My dad is colorblind and I thought that automatically meant I was too. And apparently everybody did. I was maybe in high school before I actually took a test and... I aced it. But by then all my friends had been buying colorblind compatible versions of board games and we had all sorts of inside jokes about being colorblind. Honestly it's been a bonding moment with my friends. So I just haven't told them and I've kept up the ruse. For about 15 years now.
Vicky Phenny 1 year ago
My brother can't tell the difference between blues and purples, but we didn't know until he was in his 20s because he correctly repeated whatever color we said. I assume the same thing works in reverse where they either didn't say color names or lean into neutral colors for clothes/decor, so no one knows they AREN'T colorblind.
Load More Replies...
Kari Panda 1 year ago
That is a nice plot element for a book. For real life, it’s a bit overdramatic ^^, If OP had come clean right after their test, everyone would have laughed their asses off and it‘d be a running gag for years to come (in a good natured way, or else they’re no real friends). Would have been the better deal imo :)
Nova Joy Meyer 1 year ago
I mean I get not wanting to tell them but I still thinks it’s kinda not cool
Tom Brincefield 1 year ago
Most publishers/developers in the Hobby boardgame industry work hard to make sure that colorblind people can play their games. Sometimes it's using particular shades of color, sometimes it's icons on cards, sometimes it's different shapes for playing pieces.
Load More Replies... Bexxxx 1 year ago
Lol my manager is colour blind. He has to approve all graphic design work too, it’s made for some interesting conversations 😂
David Paterson 1 year ago
As a man with the most common type of colour blindness - all commercial artwork, including maps, has to be designed so it can also be read by colourblind people. Good on you for talking everything over with your colourblind manager before publication.
Load More Replies...
Lemon Beans 1 year ago
Wouldn't you be able to tell if a child was color blind by how they use colors during art projects or sorting colored objects?
Lawrencium 1 year ago (edited)
Depends on the type of colorblindness and severity. We didn't find out I was [partially] colorblind until I was a teenager, apparently it came as a shock to my parents.
Load More Replies...
firecrackershrimp 1 year ago
So when you were learning colors in kindergarten??? And you'd never had an eye exam at doctor or school to screen for this???
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 1 year ago
My husband is colourblind. Red and green - he's a printing press operator... There are different levels of colourblindness.
#30
That I have prostate cancer. I have told my siblings, and my next-door neighbor who also has it (we compare treatment options and progress - he chose radiation while i am considering surgery), but I feel like I would be garnering for sympathy if I shared it with more people that I know.
Edit - This blew up, I wasn't expecting that. Thanks to everyone for your responses, personal stories, and well-wishes. My neighbor is 83 and only had the option for radiotherapy or chemo. He chose the radiation. I am 70, and my options are radiation, surgery, and active monitoring thru mri and psa testing. Doctors all told me that radiation now would render me ineligible for surgery down the road if it comes back. My mri was PI RADS 4, and a biopsy returned 2 of 12 samples positive for cancer, all contained with the prostate, Gleason score 3+4. I hate the idea of not getting it out and possibly of it spreading to lymph nodes and/or bones. I'll go visit the surgeon tomorrow who has performed > 18,000 Robotic-assisted radical prostatectomies and has had excellent results and patient reviews. I hate everything about this, and I just want it all to be over with.
Kari Panda 1 year ago (edited)
That is fine. With things like this, tell the people who truly care about you - your partner, parents etc. They deserve to know. But everyone else? You‘ll struggle enough without every other person asking you how treatment is going, especially if it’s not going well.
Data1001 1 year ago
Yep. Sometimes even well-meaning sympathy can just make you feel worse, especially if things aren't going in a positive direction.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 1 year ago
My dad went through this a few years back and had surgery remove the cancer as he refused to go through chemo/radiation after watching what it did to his brother many years ago. Thank God he went with the surgery because he is completely cancer free two years on. He was hesitant to speak up about it but he's started sharing what he went through with his friends and coworkers and more of them are taking the steps to get checked regularly and they are happy to know what to look for.
SageHare37 1 year ago
My dad's experience was similar. He was very secretive, like he felt embarrassed and uncomfortable. We did our best to respect his privacy. He too opted for surgery and has been cancer free since. About a year after his recovery, he shared more and was very encouraging to others, realizing his experience could help. His top 4 things: get checked, learn your options (such as some treatments prevent surgery later) go with a surgeon that has LOTS of experience, and have realistic expectation of recovery time from surgery (you basically need to relearn how to pee/control and because surgery can be long due to them looking at tissue under a microscope to be sure they got all the cancer, recovery from long sedation can take months).
Load More Replies...
Toothless Feline 1 year ago
Prostate cancer can be very slow-growing. I’ve heard it said that more people die WITH prostate cancer than FROM it. Not that says anything about OP specifically, of course.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
I worked in a big University Urology Clinic for 6 years. The docs there are also surgeons that used the DaVinchi robot. It kind of sounds like you might be going to see an Oncology Surgeon if I am reading this right. Either way, you do what is the best option for YOU and good luck!!!
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
i have already decided not to tell anyone, not even family, should i ever be diagnosed with cancer. it is prevalant in my family, in one form or another. Mother, her father, and 2 of her siblings have all passed from it. I watched them all through treatments, so not even planning on that. Quality of life over quantity for me.
Anner Girl 1 year ago
Please choose surgery over radiation. Radiation for prostate can lead to bladder cancer years later. Doctors know this. My dad found out the hard way.
Richard McLean 1 year ago
I received my diagnosis of stage 4 prostate cancer on February 29th..taking hormone blockers chemo and oral medication...all is going well...I struggled about who to tel,outside of family and a few close friends...eventually shared with everyone and have received so much more support that I'm glad I told them
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
I always find it strange that people have choices between surgery or radiation or chemo, like I've always had to do it all. First is the surgery to get the most followed by radiation to blast any remaining pieces then chemo to suppress regrowth. I mean obviously every cancer is different, but I wasn't really given a choice of doing lesser treatments or half or 1 and what just hoping it was enough? Also, unless you too are a trained oncologist you don't know enough to make informed choices other than "I would like to be aggressive" then let the guys who spent half their lives training for this take care of you.
#31
I'm so lonely and depressed now after my divorce, I lost all my friends. I'm just waiting for my family to pass on, then no one will even know I'm here.
#32
I used a credit card and spent $1000+ to fix my partner’s car, I told her it was less than $300 so she wouldn’t feel bad.
#33
I mixed leftover white and red wine and served it up in a rosé bottle.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
There have been studies that show the whole wine thing is nonsense. One time they put red food colouring in white wine and the person tasted it and spoke about it like it was red wine. They also showed that you can put cheap plonk into an expensive bottle and people will ooh and aah over it and talk about it like it's expensive.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
I'm actually pretty much convinced that AT LEAST half of people who claim they love alcohol do so because it's the norm / peer pressure. There's just no way someone can genuinely enjoy that horrendous taste, be it wine, beer or whatever else 😁
Load More Replies...
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
That's probably how 99% of the rose at the cheap end of the market is made anyway
#34
My wife and I regularly swing with a couple in our friend group. Nobody else knows.
Annik Perrot 1 year ago
Whatever floats your boat, as long as it's fully consensual and doesn't hurt anyone.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago (edited)
Swing? Like an actual swing on a playground? Or do you mean a foursome?
#35
I, being a straight dude, exchanged oral with another guy (bi). He blew me in front of my now ex-wife (she was into it, I went with it like whatever, I get a bj!), and I went to his place to return the favor a few weeks later. Nice guy, coulda been friends I think but we fell outta touch. Apparently I give pretty good head. Wasted talent. Edit: Okay maybe 5% bi. Whatever. I'm not afraid of a d**k, and dammit, it's just decent to return the favor haha.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
As someone on Tumblr said: "Men be like 'I'm fighting my demons' and the 'demons' be bisexuality."
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
I wish you were my friend, and you'd go out some night and get two BJs so you could come back and give me one. And I'm pretty sure that any guy that was so inclined should be able to give a decent BJ. Isn't is a bit like having your back scratched by somebody who has an itch in the exact same place you do?
justagirl 1 year ago (edited)
freak flag? awesome flag! seriously though it's a great flag.
Load More Replies... 
#36
I hope my mom passes before she needs constant care and assistance. She has no savings whatsoever and in the last few years has become a source of stress and resentment for me. She used to be my go to person to confide in. We’d have great conversations but she’s become someone I don’t recognize anymore.
#37
I once ate an entire box of double stuff Oreos in one sitting.
Mike F 1 year ago
I know you all are sick of my stories about my mom, but ~2016 I went to visit her when she still lived in her home. I took a couple of packages of "Pinwheels" with me because she used to love them. They consist of a graham type cookie with a healthy dollup of marshmallow on it then covered in chocolate. She had already forgotten that she loved them but I opened a package and gave her a couple while reminding her that used to say "they don't need to make any other cookie". I went to bed and the old girl went crazy on that pack of cookies and demolished it and her over 85 years old! Moral of the story is if it tastes good eat it!
Upstaged75 1 year ago
I've eaten a whole box of 6 Krispy Kreme chocolate covered donuts on multiple occasions. I had to stop buying them because I told my self I'd only eat one at a time, but that never happened. :)
#38
My girlfriend’s previous partner died young of s***ide, he had cancer and chose to end it. I’m having symptoms associated with colon cancer now, just found blood in my stool this morning and have been having dull abdominal pains, change in stool habits. It may be something else, have appointment tomorrow with my doctor. My gf will never know.
David 1 year ago
PSA: Colonoscopies are really not that bad. I've had two - each time they removed some polyps (which is extremely common). Caught early the polyps are almost always benign but if left to grow, some can become cancer. == My next door neighbor was one of those - almost never go to a doctor - kind of folks. His colon cancer was well advanced (stage 4 I think) before he finally went in due to knowing something was wrong. They removed part of his colon, sewed his butt shut and now he has a permanent stoma. He may survive but he's pretty weak these days. Not too many years ago he was doing 100 mile bike rides. Seattle to Vancouver and Seattle to Portland. I'm pretty sure he could not even ride a bike now. TLDR: Get your colonoscopies done, I swear they are not that bad.
One legged Steve 1 year ago
Make sure to rule out any serious ongoing infections. Those will completely jack with your poop situations
Mike F 1 year ago
Along with a change in diet and (possible) hemorrhoids.
Load More Replies... FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
This could also completely backfire too. I would research some medical professionals with experience in situations similar to this and seek their advice on best way to go about this.
#39
It was me who farted in the car, not the dog! And I enjoyed it!
Justanotherpanda 1 year ago
That is not a secret, we know, my husband does it all the time and we just play along.
Hoi-Polloi 1 year ago
I've been trying to decide whether to get a cat or a dog. This is powerful ammunition on the dog side... nobody ever rips one and blames the cat.
Mentally Bewildered 1 year ago
I do that, but we don't have a dog, so I blame the farmers spreading muck on the fields. I roll the window up to keep the smell "out" and my wife thanks me.
#40
I've been depressed for a couple of weeks now. I had a heavy depressive year couple years back that I eventually ovèrcame, but I see a lot of similar symptoms bounce back. I was kind of vocal about it in the beginning, but I can see that it puts a strain on my SO who is also overworked and tired lately, so I try to keep the facade. I know the root reasons for it, but there isn't much i can do about it. Not sure how i'll get out of it this time. Edit: this gathered more attention than I expected for a little rant on the subway home. I'm fine y'all and when i'm not, I will be. This shall pass too.
Cool crow 1 year ago
When you find someone to talk to, you may start to feel better. It's so hard to carry these feelings and thoughts alone, isn't it?
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Every time I talked about being depressed I just ended feeling worse. I tried writing about it and it only helped to make me feel guiltier. So I just shut up, and play online for keeping my mind away from every memory or though about what happened. Someday pain will subdue, right? Emotional pain can't last forever. Or so i hope
Load More Replies... Data1001 1 year ago
Keeping up a facade is probably going to contribute to your depressed state -- or at the very least, make it much harder to slough off. You need to be able to be yourself when you're in your own home -- whatever you need to do, in order to do that.
Data1001 1 year ago
Also, I know you didn't ask for advice, but daily meditation has done wonders for me.
Load More Replies... #41
I fantasise the slow painful deaths, of people who talk loudly on the phone on public transport.
Justanotherpanda 1 year ago
Not deaths, I always wish for that person to get an eternal itch in a place that can't be reached. Death is not harsh enough....
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
Not uncommon I guess. My mom works in retail and she's very open about her cravings for a slow, painful death of certain people 😁
David Paterson 1 year ago (edited)
I'm against you on this one. Some of us are deaf. And discrimination against deaf people and old people shouldn't be encouraged.
#42
I have a birth defect that required emergency brain surgery every so often. I have had over 30 surgeries and in between that time period I have had countless CT scans and chest X-rays. I have worried about the exposure overtime. I have a family history of all kinds of cancer. Under my arms (axillary/armpit) hurts in the lymph node area. I have a preventative colonoscopy scheduled soon and I worry that they will find something. I worry that my body is riddled with cancer. I can’t tell anyone close because I don’t want to scare them if it is nothing, but the stress of the unknown is killing me.
Greyling Streets 1 year ago
This sounds like a nightmare. I have a fear that cancer is inevitable for me at this point. I surely hope OP has or gets a good therapist. What a terrible thing to have to bear alone. More than anything, I hope they are cancer-free!
laura lee 1 year ago
Don't live in fear of cancer they have many great treatments now it's not nearly the death sentence it once was. I've had 3 different cancers starting at 17y, decades and some missing organs later lol I'm still alive and kicking, yes I do need a daily pill to replace essential hormone but I've been taking it for 20 years now, you get used to it.
Load More Replies...
Paul Brown 1 year ago
Cancer runs in my family too. It would not surprise me if I eventually get cancer too. I'm 68yo right now, so far so good. I don't go to the Dr's at all, I don't want to know.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
I feel ya. At a certain point people stop being able to handle it and you stop having people to confide in. It sucks. It's no win either because you try to "solider on" to protect others (and yourself from their responses) and they get mad you didn't let them know earlier, then get mad you think they'd get upset bc now they think you think they are horrible people and they've now hijacked your conditions for their suffering. Like I said there no winning this so shutting up and staying shutting up is how you end up. I don't have any help on this, but I can commiserate I'm right there with you, meditating helps. There I guess that's something. Meditate and do not think of the things you cannot change, if nothing you do can effect any change to the situation then put it out of your head completely. I wish you well
#43
I really want my mom to move out of my house. She divorced her 7th husband and needed a temporary place to stay. That was 3 years ago. I'm 30 years old. I have no privacy in my own home and I've been with my partner since a few months after she moved in. We want to be able to move in together. But she's unwilling to live with him and goes out of her way to make him miserable when he's around. I know she's disabled and can't support herself but this is exhausting and I feel like my life is stuck on hold.
Blue Flower 1 year ago
Get her into an assisted living facility, either that or a low income housing, either that or move. If you don’t set a timeframe, she will be living with you until she dies.
Achiel Meirsman 1 year ago
Anyone who marries séven times is perfectly able to look after themselves, no worry about putting her out to pasture, she’ll marry an eight time.
Russell Rieckenberg 1 year ago
I'm not so sure about that. Seven marriages can indicate she's unable to look after herself. And if her disability is recent, her probability of finding an eighth husband is nearly 0%.
Load More Replies... Magenta Blu 1 year ago
Instead mom, This is my story with my uncle. And I can't evict him since he is not a tenant. And by law I'm forced to take care of him because I'm his only alive relative. But I'm done. I want him out of my house, bit i can't. Life sucks
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
If you want her to leave, then tell her. I know it's hard, but the problem will persist if you don't get rid of it.
#44
When i was 16/17 I made out with my mums friend who is also the mum of one of my best friends from school. She's also a secondary school teacher (not my school) so it was pretty illegal.
I wanted it to go further but she stopped it, but we kissed a few times on other occasions after that and she wanted to wait until I'm 18 before we went further. My mum would k*ll me/her if she found out. My school friend would probs k*ll me to, so it's a secret I gotta take to the grave.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
No, the age of consent in Britian (I'm assuming bc use of mum) is 16, not 18, not 21. It's 16. The woman was not his teacher nor did she work at the same school. The woman hedged her bets and made him wait until he was 18 for sex, 2 years past the age of consent. So how the f**k did she rape him?
Load More Replies... #45
I can’t tell if I’m in love with my partner or if I’m just comfortable… or if I’m just incapable of letting myself relax and be happy.
Kerensa Scott 1 year ago
this resonates. I am not in love with my partner anymore, haven't been for a while, I have tried to tell him but he isn't hearing me. It is beginning to really impact my life but i don't want to hurt him more than is necessary
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I'm only with my SO at this point because I'd otherwise be homeless. We didn't start like that, but that's where I am now. I feel like a s****y person because of that.
Load More Replies...
#46
How bad my addiction is.
Paul Brown 1 year ago
You can beat your addiction, but you have to WANT it more than anything else. I've been sober since 2011, best thing I ever did.
#47
My best friend constantly uses me as an outlet for her anger and frustration and it’s giving me anxiety and depression when I’m around her bc I don’t know when I might say/do something that’s gonna make her explode.
mandy the capibara 1 year ago
You may be a friend to her, but she is not being a friend for you
Blue Flower 1 year ago
You are her whipping post. Tell her to get some professional help and inform her that you are going no contact with no intentions of ever returning.
MandyMolaFizzyCola 1 year ago
A couple years ago I finally ended a 30+-year friendship with my high school "best friend" because she had become so negative, angry, and completely uninterested in hearing anything about my life for the previous several years. I realized that every time we got off the phone I needed to decompress for hours before I could go to bed, and that I was ranting to my parents (who knew her) every time they asked about her, which was bringing them down too. I did it in a sloppy way - accidentally sent a text complaining about her to a thread that included her - but aside from that I have no regrets. I hope she's well and I want the best for her, but my mental health and my energy levels just could not take her anymore. Do what you have to do to maintain your sanity!
#48
I don't really love her but I tell her that I do because nobody else does. She deserves to feel loved. She deserves to be loved, but unfortunately I just don't love her. I know that when I eventually have to break it off with her she's going to be devastated and I only want her to be happy. I've created this problem.
Red_panda 1 year ago
If you want her to be happy, you obviously care for her. What's the difference between that and love? The "fairy tale" love you see in movies doesn't exist that often. Most relationships are just two people who want each other to be happy, if you leave that sort of relationship looming for "fairy tale" love you will end up lonely and miserable.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
Just because you care for someone, doesn't mean you love.
Load More Replies...
Penguin Panda Pop 1 year ago
There's a saying about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. Seems to fit here.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
Do not ever tell her you lied about loving her. You tell her you changed, you're very sorry you tell her you might be questioning your sexuality or the direction you want your life to be going anything you take the fall, a bout of covid has your mind foggy or on spiritual matters, but you take the fall just say you aren't feeling romantic anymore you still love her as the wonderful person she is but you can't be there for her fully as a man as she deserves. Something to that effect.
David 1 year ago
this kind of lie does more damage than it heals. When you think someone loves you and then they don't you get both the lonely sad AND doubt your ability to read people / trust them. You are just kicking the can further down the road and saving some of the 'now' pain for later.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago
I used to think exactly this when I was younger... But time passed and I realized that someone CARING about me is way more important than romantic love which is not real
Load More Replies... Buttered Toast 1 year ago
If you care about her enough to make sure she feels loved you do love her. You may not be in love with her but you do love her.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago (edited)
I really understand. "Every one deserves to be loved" sounds good and fair and logic, but reality is never fair and logic and there are many people who never achieve to be loved, no matter how hard they try. So being kind and caring about someone can make the difference in their life, because it doesn't matter how much someone deserves to be loved, many time love just doesn't happen in every people life.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
No, this is kindness. One can fall out of love. During the time together she is rebuilding her self esteem feeling worthy of love, knowing what it is like to have someone treat her right, knowing she is deserving of this. Relationships end for many reasons and after having been in a good one she'll now know what to look for. Deceitful and manipulative yes, evil no.
Load More Replies...
#49
I’m growing resentment towards my family and idk how to stop it. The older I get the more I realize I’m not compatible with these people and how they choose to live. Edit for the people giving advice to move away. I’m 30 now and only living back with them because Covid messed up the industry I worked in and the financial stability built up in my 20s. I moved out at 19 and never had to come back till now. I will move out again that’s not the issue. It’s more so a bunch of little things that add up making me not even want to be associated with them. I’ve stopped trying to nudge them in a different direction because they are comfortable with their living standards. I just know when I have kids in the future they’ll be upset to hear the truth about why I’m not ever letting them stay over here.
kissmychakram 1 year ago
Nice that OP can lower their standards to slum it and allow their family to support them until they can afford to put them in the rear view mirror.
SewingStaffy 1 year ago
I feel this one. I love my parents and have moved in with them due to rent being too high (I pay them a reduced rent) but I've realised I'M not the kind of person that likes living with others. The smallest of things get me frustrated. I'm trying to get my own place again but I'd never cut them off
#50
My wife is giving me depression.
Sandella 1 year ago
It is clinically proven than living with a depressed partner 4 times out of 5 also makes the other partner depressed!!! So yes, a person can give you depression.
laura lee 1 year ago
Yes I grew up in it. As a child they thought I was the problem bc I was crashing everywhere and suicidal, got sent hospital where I was a model student straight As zero issues most helpful with staff did great art work, yeah I was finally getting some f*****g attention that wasn't abuse lol. They found nothing wrong sent me back, tanked again. It wasn't me mom and dad it was y'all! F*****g a******s.
Load More Replies...
Stuart Griffiths 1 year ago
Of course someone can give you enough sress,bad feeling ,anxiety hurt and much more that can lead to depression
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Ehhh. A person can't give you depression, but I think I understand. You need to confront your wife and talk about your mental health and how she could help. And if wife has no interest/intention of helping, you just got to prioritize yourself. Reach out to friends and family if you have any. 🤗
day light 1 year ago
then why did I relapse after my partner became incredibly mentally ill and would pour out all his problems on me every single day for a solid 3 months? I've been in therapy the whole time by the way
Load More Replies...Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Hannah 1 year ago
I work with a specific coworker who's got a million things wrong with her and she's in pain all the time but she works so so hard to get everything done and it's just... It's not enough. If the manager knew just how little she got done most days she'd fire her. So I give her a smaller list than I give my other cashier's, and when she leaves at the end of the night I stay an extra 2 sometimes 3 hours and finish what she can't. I've been doing this for nearly a year now, and as she's retiring in 4 months I will continue to do so until she leaves. I will never ever tell her.
Christopher Crockett 1 year ago
My cat received a big donut (a circular tunnel) as a gift, and to make sure she liked it, I laced it with some strong catnip. Every week when she's sleeping I clean the old catnip out and put some fresh stuff in. She LOVES it and thinks that the wacky weed just grows in it every week. I haven't the heart to tell her that it's me.
justagirl 1 year ago
oh she knows. she just doesn't care. nip is nip. either way she loves you in her one cattish way.
Load More Replies... Lsai Aeon 1 year ago
I inherited my parents' house last year. I started the process of renovating to make it more wheelchair friendly. Unfortunately, the company I hired to do the renovations destroyed the house. They installed bad wiring and almost caused a fire, no licensed electrician. They renovated the bathroom and not a single piece was done to code, leaks everywhere. I had to empty 4 bank accounts, 3 of them inheritance, to pay them and the contractors I had to hire to fix what they destroyed. I have a lawsuit in progress, but it's slow going. Now I find out we have storm damage and need the roof replaced. What I haven't made family and friends aware of is that there's not even enough money in the bank to get groceries much less pay the insurance deductible for the roof. I'm disabled and looking at having another major back surgery, I haven't the slightest clue how I can come up with that deductible.
Mike F 1 year ago
If you're in the US, contact your county government. They very often have programs to help with that. They can also get you food assistance and even rides to your appointments.
Load More Replies... Mike F 1 year ago
Ya gonna tell the cats, then it's out and no putting the toothpaste back in the tube! 😂😂😂
Load More Replies... day light 1 year ago
CW: SH ....................................................... my secret is that I never actually stopped self harming. I saw the pain my loved ones went through when they could see my wounds, so I lied about getting better. these wounds are meant to hurt me, not others. that's why I target my ankles instead of my wrists, the little bit of thigh that's always covered by my shorts, the underside of my breasts. I know it's unhealthy, but I'd rather the people I love didn't know I'm always hurting behind my smile
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
Feel ya and I know you know this but you need to find the root like if its stress you gotta cut out the stressors for me that included family aka loved ones that were anything but
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Dark... My lovely ignorant father has no idea that most of his female relatives and current wife have all experienced some sort of SA, as has my brother. He knows about only one of mine. (I'm fine, have therapy) I am the ONLY person my aunt told about a psych unit stay before she took that to the grave and I will take it to mine. It stays and ends with me.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
When I was a child I was SA by one of my mother's brothers. He was a very well known, well loved and well respected member of the community. I was too ashamed to tell my dad and too frightened to tell my mum because I just knew she would take his side and probably throw me out onto the streets or something. I didn't feel like I could tell any of my friends or family because he was so well known and well loved that I didn't think anyone would believe me and that everybody I knew would turn against me. I've made it my life's mission to make sure nothing like that ever happens to my kids because no child should ever be made to feel like that.
Load More Replies... Nova Joy Meyer 1 year ago
My kind of secrete is I’m starting to distance myself from my family. I used to be really close with them but lately they’ve been getting in my nerves constantly and I just want to be alone. I feel bad for feeling this way but I don’t know what else to do!!
laura lee 1 year ago
I had to go NC March 2023 no regrets. My stress levels have plummeted.
Load More Replies...
Katz22 1 year ago
my mom passed away right during the covid bs. she was everything to me. she was the reason I did anything - good bad ugly indifferent. it's been 4 years & I still haven't been able to give a sh*t about anything (the only exception being my cat) since. when she was alive, I had a reason to do anything, even if only to prove her wrong which inevitability only ever proved her right. the only thing she wanted was to see me happy & I couldn't even give that to her...Just needed to vent.
2WheelTravlr 1 year ago
I think covid made the mourning process so much harder. Missing things like a funeral or celebration of life, not being able to receive a hug from a friend or family member, it leaves things feeling so unreal and unfinished. My mom died during covid also, and it was just strange and unsettling in ways that the deaths of other family members weren't. I know it's trite, but talk to a doctor about d**g options that may help get you to a better place where you can start feeling things again.
Load More Replies... Bertha Madott 1 year ago
My secret: my nerves are fried from pain (arthritis). Age 75. I self-medicate with sweets at night. Comforting. I will have major surgery in ten days. Fifth surgery in less than five years. Painful and gross. BUT I will be sick and nauseated for weeks afterwards and maybe I can break the bad habit of eating after bedtime. A big silver lining for me.
Wonderful 1 year ago
I have a small suggestion. Mary Jane can help with the pain, the nausea, vomiting, and more. I know many ppl frown on it but it really does help. I hope you find even a smidge of relief soon. It's exhausting being in pain 24/7. If anything helps even a teeny tiny bit then I'm happy. I hope your day is a smidge better than the day before it. <3
Load More Replies... Hannah 1 year ago
I work with a specific coworker who's got a million things wrong with her and she's in pain all the time but she works so so hard to get everything done and it's just... It's not enough. If the manager knew just how little she got done most days she'd fire her. So I give her a smaller list than I give my other cashier's, and when she leaves at the end of the night I stay an extra 2 sometimes 3 hours and finish what she can't. I've been doing this for nearly a year now, and as she's retiring in 4 months I will continue to do so until she leaves. I will never ever tell her.
Christopher Crockett 1 year ago
My cat received a big donut (a circular tunnel) as a gift, and to make sure she liked it, I laced it with some strong catnip. Every week when she's sleeping I clean the old catnip out and put some fresh stuff in. She LOVES it and thinks that the wacky weed just grows in it every week. I haven't the heart to tell her that it's me.
justagirl 1 year ago
oh she knows. she just doesn't care. nip is nip. either way she loves you in her one cattish way.
Load More Replies... Lsai Aeon 1 year ago
I inherited my parents' house last year. I started the process of renovating to make it more wheelchair friendly. Unfortunately, the company I hired to do the renovations destroyed the house. They installed bad wiring and almost caused a fire, no licensed electrician. They renovated the bathroom and not a single piece was done to code, leaks everywhere. I had to empty 4 bank accounts, 3 of them inheritance, to pay them and the contractors I had to hire to fix what they destroyed. I have a lawsuit in progress, but it's slow going. Now I find out we have storm damage and need the roof replaced. What I haven't made family and friends aware of is that there's not even enough money in the bank to get groceries much less pay the insurance deductible for the roof. I'm disabled and looking at having another major back surgery, I haven't the slightest clue how I can come up with that deductible.
Mike F 1 year ago
If you're in the US, contact your county government. They very often have programs to help with that. They can also get you food assistance and even rides to your appointments.
Load More Replies... Mike F 1 year ago
Ya gonna tell the cats, then it's out and no putting the toothpaste back in the tube! 😂😂😂
Load More Replies... day light 1 year ago
CW: SH ....................................................... my secret is that I never actually stopped self harming. I saw the pain my loved ones went through when they could see my wounds, so I lied about getting better. these wounds are meant to hurt me, not others. that's why I target my ankles instead of my wrists, the little bit of thigh that's always covered by my shorts, the underside of my breasts. I know it's unhealthy, but I'd rather the people I love didn't know I'm always hurting behind my smile
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
Feel ya and I know you know this but you need to find the root like if its stress you gotta cut out the stressors for me that included family aka loved ones that were anything but
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Dark... My lovely ignorant father has no idea that most of his female relatives and current wife have all experienced some sort of SA, as has my brother. He knows about only one of mine. (I'm fine, have therapy) I am the ONLY person my aunt told about a psych unit stay before she took that to the grave and I will take it to mine. It stays and ends with me.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
When I was a child I was SA by one of my mother's brothers. He was a very well known, well loved and well respected member of the community. I was too ashamed to tell my dad and too frightened to tell my mum because I just knew she would take his side and probably throw me out onto the streets or something. I didn't feel like I could tell any of my friends or family because he was so well known and well loved that I didn't think anyone would believe me and that everybody I knew would turn against me. I've made it my life's mission to make sure nothing like that ever happens to my kids because no child should ever be made to feel like that.
Load More Replies... Nova Joy Meyer 1 year ago
My kind of secrete is I’m starting to distance myself from my family. I used to be really close with them but lately they’ve been getting in my nerves constantly and I just want to be alone. I feel bad for feeling this way but I don’t know what else to do!!
laura lee 1 year ago
I had to go NC March 2023 no regrets. My stress levels have plummeted.
Load More Replies... Katz22 1 year ago
my mom passed away right during the covid bs. she was everything to me. she was the reason I did anything - good bad ugly indifferent. it's been 4 years & I still haven't been able to give a sh*t about anything (the only exception being my cat) since. when she was alive, I had a reason to do anything, even if only to prove her wrong which inevitability only ever proved her right. the only thing she wanted was to see me happy & I couldn't even give that to her...Just needed to vent.
2WheelTravlr 1 year ago
I think covid made the mourning process so much harder. Missing things like a funeral or celebration of life, not being able to receive a hug from a friend or family member, it leaves things feeling so unreal and unfinished. My mom died during covid also, and it was just strange and unsettling in ways that the deaths of other family members weren't. I know it's trite, but talk to a doctor about d**g options that may help get you to a better place where you can start feeling things again.
Load More Replies... Bertha Madott 1 year ago
My secret: my nerves are fried from pain (arthritis). Age 75. I self-medicate with sweets at night. Comforting. I will have major surgery in ten days. Fifth surgery in less than five years. Painful and gross. BUT I will be sick and nauseated for weeks afterwards and maybe I can break the bad habit of eating after bedtime. A big silver lining for me.
Wonderful 1 year ago
I have a small suggestion. Mary Jane can help with the pain, the nausea, vomiting, and more. I know many ppl frown on it but it really does help. I hope you find even a smidge of relief soon. It's exhausting being in pain 24/7. If anything helps even a teeny tiny bit then I'm happy. I hope your day is a smidge better than the day before it. <3
Load More Replies... You May Like "What Is The Creepiest Thing That Ever Happened To You But Never Told Anyone?" 195 Truth Quotes To Help Filter Out The Lies Around You “Gave An OSHA Inspector A Stroke”: 50 Times People Fixed Their Problems In The Most “Genius” Ways (New Pics)
Jonas Žvilius
Eligijus Sinkunas
Justinas Keturka
Related on Bored Panda
