“I Was Fooled”: Man Leaves His Family For A Hot Young GF, Regrets Everything
Realizing that actions have consequences is never an easy lesson to learn. Fortunately, most of us figure this out at a formative age, allowing us to prevent a lifetime’s worth of mistakes that we might have otherwise made. But one father didn’t seem to realize this until he had already blown up his marriage, tarnished his relationships with his daughters and found himself living as a single parent full of regrets.
Below, you’ll find a saga that this father shared on Reddit, detailing all of the choices and experiences that got him to this point, as well as a conversation with marriage mentor and relationship coach Katariina Räike.
This father was happily married until he decided to have an affair with his receptionist
Image credits: mstandret / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Now, he’s seeking advice as his personal life spirals out of control
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: gpointstudio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Later, the dad shared an update and asked for suggestions on repairing his relationships with his daughters
Image credits: Meruyert Gonullu / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
He then came back with another update, revealing that he and his girlfriend had broken up
Image credits: Pressmaster / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anonymous
“It is common for all people to wonder at some point what it would be like to be with someone else”
Image credits: Vera Arsic / pexels (not the actual photo)
To gain more insight on this situation, we reached out to marriage mentor and relationship coach Katariina Räike, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. First, we asked the expert if it’s common for people to become curious about dating when they’ve been in a relationship for as long as this couple has.
“It is common for all people to wonder at some point what it would be like to be with someone else, not only for people who got together at a young age,” Katariina noted. “It is nothing alarming, and it is part of our biology to do that.”
However, entertaining those thoughts will only cause emotional uneasiness, Katariina says. “’Where focus goes energy glows’ is a very accurate saying and true. If there is more focus towards someone other than your partner, it will cause emotional disconnection sooner or later,” she explained.
“When it comes to entertaining thoughts of being with someone other that your partner, or going for a lunch with a colleague you’ve thought of a lot lately, or messaging someone a bit too often or a bit too intimately behind your partner’s back, it’s all different variations of the same phenomenon,” the expert added. “If you wouldn’t like your partner to know about it, it’s most likely something you shouldn’t do. Someone smart said, ‘If you don’t want to slip, stay out of slippery places.’ You know what your slippery place is. Don’t go there.”
“If he does the work and truly takes responsibility, it is possible to rebuild the relationship over time”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
We were also curious if the marriage expert believes this father might be able to repair his relationships with his daughters. “He is right with giving his daughters some time for now, but he should not stop trying to show them he cares and expressing he wants to see them, even if they would not agree to see him right now,” Katariina told Bored Panda.
“He says he is taking responsibility for what he did, and it is right for his daughters to blame him. However, he doesn’t say anything about the way he is taking responsibility,” she added. “Are these just words? Is he doing the inner work to understand why he did what he did? Is he doing something to grow, so that he can show his daughters what he has learned from the past?”
“He needs to show them how he can guide them and support them in the future and be the father he wants to be,” Katariina says. “He needs to earn their trust. If he does the work and truly takes responsibility, it is possible to rebuild the relationship over time.”
“Bit by bit, he needs to start taking steps to put his life in order to gain confidence and trust in himself first”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
As for what the father should do next, the expert says, bit by bit, he needs to start taking steps to put his life in order to gain confidence and trust in himself first. “That way, his daughters can over time start trusting him as well. He has his son to take care of, that is important. However, he needs to make a plan for himself as well.”
“What kind of role model does he want to be for his daughters and son? He needs to do things that make him feel less awful about himself,” the marriage mentor shared. “Find a better job, or get into training to get a better job later. Learn to speak the truth and do the right thing. Not because someone might be watching, but because it feels good to do that.”
“Do some sports, it’s very important for the male hormones and his overall well-being,” Katariina suggests. “Read some books and/or work with a coach to get new thoughts, old thoughts keep us in the old place. His old place is not very inspiring, and if nothing changes, nothing changes.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this father will be able to repair his relationships with his ex-wife and daughters? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda discussing similar relationship drama, we recommend checking out this piece!
Readers didn’t hold back in the comments, noting that the father made some terrible mistakes
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I love cheaters frame it like having sex with someone else is like tripping while you're walking. "Ooops I accidentally raw dogged this other person after pledging to be faithful to you".
The secretary “baby trapped” OP? Has he never heard of condoms? Why does the secretary get all the blame? It takes two to tango …
This was my thought too. Not only did the husband not take responsibility for birth control but he put his wife at risk of STDs by dipping his naked ding dong in the candy bucket. He didn't take responsibility for himself and he didn't care at all about consequences for his wife. He deserves everything he got.
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Still not taking full responsibility is he? Wife must have been having an affair? Seriously dude, you had an affair and a child plus 2 years on....that's not a fast time frame for her to meet and marry after you left. Trying to justify it all by bringing her down while wishing he had her back, what a tool.
Especially considering he blew up their entire marriage. Those feelings are just gone (been there). You can move on a lot quicker when the other person is just terrible.
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"A hot 25 year old was chasing me and really persistant, despite me being 42 and married." Hun, that was the point at which you needed to fire her for sexual harassment, hire a non-hot receptionist, and focus on your business and your wonderful life with your amazing wife and family. This dude hired a hot young woman as a receptionist for his one-man passion project financed by his wife. After/while pressing to open their marriage. He was always wanted to cheat. He just didn't plan to get a baby and a divorce out of it.
He loved his ex-wife so much, but he tried to open their relationship because he was never with another woman?
I'm guessing that his ex wife had never slept with another man, either. So if she cheated but still loves him, it's okay right? Haha
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That guy needs to just leave his daughters alone. He can’t even admit that he was 100% at fault. He messed with their lives enough.
"Baby-trapped" lol. So he didn't know unprotected sex gets... babies? Give me a break. He always pressed for an open marriage - just a cheater who wants no repercussions.
Here is advice to this guy. You know you messed up. From the tone of your post, it sounds like you are giving yourself an awful lot of slack. You need to really think about what you did, the people you harmed, and what you have in front of you. You can never make this right with your old family. Be open to listening and accept what they give you give you. You lost the right to demand anything with them. With your new child, make its life the best you can. Find a job, work hard, and give it every opportunity you can. The only good thing that came out of this is that child. So don't mess it up. You threw away an easy life. You have a chance to do right. That is your salvation there. Do that right and you may get something you don't deserve, a happy, fulfilling life.
I hope the family friend she married treats her and the daughters like gold.
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I loved my ex and still do - like f**k ya did...maybe as a friend but not one you respect. Omg my ex wouldn't have an open marriage, what I'm going to do is get the new girlfriend to have an open relationship - maybe I'm a really good detective but I'm seeing a pattern
If you read the reddit page, this was 2 years ago or more. The original poster deleted his reddit account and he was piled on by everyone who commented.
Her fault, didn't want an open marriage. Her fault, she seduced me & baby-trapped me. Their fault for no relationship, I was a good dad! Your ex out classed you in every sense of the word. I'm so glad her parents never gave the house to you & I find that so wise on their part & also, hilarious.
Her parents may have had a bad feeling about him all along
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He f****d around and found it. I don't blame his daughters one bit for not wanting anything to do with him.
Man needs to accept he didn't just burn the bridge behind him, but the entire village as well. Of course his daughters hate him: he broke up the family! I think ex wife is being overly nice in offering to keep him up to date on the family. I don't believe wife was cheating with the family friend, but curious how long the family friend has been interested in the ex wife; glad he's stepped up, regardless, as long as he's good to them and not a creep. Face it bro .. you fubar'd (fúcked up beyond all recognition) what you had.
"They'll understand me more & gain context for life" You cheated. Plain & simple. Why should they resonate or understand cheaters? Are you expecting them to cheat?
Worse even, is he gonna be happy if his girls are cheated on by their SO? What possible role model does he think he is going to be for them?
Load More Replies... "I'm pretty pissed there's a man living in my daughter's life that I don't know about" Dude, you cheated on your wife. You had an affair & had a bastard kid. You have ZERO right to be pissed about anything that your ex decides to do. Did you expect her to ask you? Tell you? Yeah, no. You missed out on that the second you thought with your dich instead of your brain
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. (The baby isn't the stupid prize, the dumpster fire situation is). I feel so bad for the kids.
He needs to come to the realization that she screwed up and everyone has moved on from him, including the chick he cheated with. Soon, his son will do the same and if he thinks he's lonely now, wait until the son becomes aware of the whole situation. It's over, and now it's just you and your son against the world. Make the best of it and hope your daughters come around, and you can't blame them if they don't.
Why on earth did this dumb, gullible, idiot publicize his stupidity and poor decision making online for all the world to see? No shame. Clickbait?
He thinks he is a wordsmith who can manipulate the sordid such that we can all see he is just a poor misguided victim of the 25 year olds manipulations. Laid it on nice and thick too. His 40 year old butt taken in by a Jezebel oh wo is he....
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Well, first off, nobody "baby trapped" him. He inserted his d**k in someone and got her pregnant. A vagina is not, and has never been, a bear trap. Secondly, all that happened afterwards was predictable even for a not so bright person. Sorry not sorry.
This story should be given to all couples entering marriage, not just the guy but the woman too. I've read too many stories of couples committing infidelity like they're taking tennis lessons.
I've heard of eff around and find out, but this dude EFF'ED AROUND AND FOUND OUT. Zero sympathy for him. Guy asked for concrete advice, but there's really none to give him. His wife and family are gone. The secretary is gone. He has a son to raise now, and that's what he needs to concentrate on. Hopefully he won't grow to be the narcissistic a-hole that his father is.
The only thing to do is to be a person that the daughters would be proud of if they decide to contact him again. It might not work, but be the best version of himself he can be, for his son but also so that he's more worthy of his daughters' time in the future. Be open to contact, send birthday cards but don't push. Maybe they will want him in their lives in the future, maybe not. But, being a good dad and person from here on out is the only chance. If you are bitter and miserable, no one will want contact. Work on your life and hope for the best.
I take it his penis is too small to get condoms in his size 🤷🏻♀️ Contraception is for both Adults to take care of, accidents happen of course but he took zero responsibility here to. I have a microscopic smidgen of sad for him 0.00000006%. He'd been with the same person all his life which included bringing up four daughters. His ex wife loved him so much she was prepared to find a passion project which unfortunately turned out to be the wrong kind of passion. Thinking the ex wife remarried too quickly because what? She waited until they were divorced and luckily found the perfect gentleman?? Absolute prick which is what he was thinking with and still seems to be... Destroyed his ex wife, destroyed his four daughters, f****d up literally the secretary and truly screwed up that poor son. Two s****y parents and four likely fabulous half sisters who want nothing to do with him....
Another case of it being everyone else's fault. My girlfriend's a gold digger who never loved me. My ex found someone else and was probably having an affair with him. My daughters will understand how I feel when they're older and forgive me.
This man royally screwed up his life, and the shrapnel from his mistakes hit everyone in his life he cared about. He was a fool, and it's too late, but I HOPE the little boy doesn't grow up feeling responsible, and the fact that his sisters want nothing to do with him is going to weigh heavily on him growing up. This is such an unfair situation for the kids. Dad MUST do his best to raise and protect this little boy from the judgment of his mistakes. He needs to stay consistent in his daughter's lives. Reach out, even if they reject. Keep doing it. Show them you are persistent, but not pushy. I hope things work out but there really is no one to blame but himself. He effed around and found out.
His ex-wife should have told OP... you let the penis come between us. OP is nothing but a scumbag, poor excuse of a husband, and father. Wanted an open marriage with his ex-wife. You did have an open marriage. Your wife just didn't know it.
He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He already wanted to open up the marriage, which just means he wants to f**k around without his wife calling it cheating, and when that didn't happen, he cheated anyway. If you feel the desperate need to f**k someone else, so much that you want to open the marriage, just divorce already and f**k whomever you want. At least then he would still be in his children's lives. Best he can do now if be a good dad for his new son and move on.
I guess you can feel better knowing lots of as sho les ruin lives because all they could think with was the co ck. Suck it up princess, you did it to yourself. I hope your kids hate you forever.
If this isn't a classic case of "Fool around and find out," I don't know what is. Karma got ya good, OP, and you deserve it. :)
LMAO!! This idiot seriously went to the internet for sympathy & pretend like it wasn't 100% his fault??? The "secretary" did what obviously would get her a green card. The "baby trap" plan kind of worked for her, too bad you're broke & she can't dig for gold off you. Love how the ex-wife & daughters are extremely no contact with him as well as moved on (happily). Karma bit him in the a*s & took off one helluva chunk. This is a perfect example of you don't know what you've got til it's gone. Feel sorry for the son since didn't put in a request to be born into this mess.
As a child of a father who cheated, I can tell you I have never forgiven him. He ruined our family and broke my mother's heart. It's been 25 years and neither know nor care if he's even still alive.
LMAO he just couldn't resist, yeah sure. That's not a mistake, that's a CHOICE. She didn't trap him, he walked right into that. What a fool.
No you are not a good father. A good father does not step out on his family.
I don't need to read the comments as most will drag your a*s over the fire. Moving forward, ex is remarried, kids want zero to do with you and son's mother is out of picture. So . . . Now FOCUS!! On teaching your son how to be the man YOU ARE. NOT! How to respect others, to keep your vows, keep promises, have values, loyalty, commitment, to work hard, (was your son's mother the only one looking for a sugar-daddy/mommy?) Teach him to have the values, the respect, the character you have lacked so he can grow up to be a man people respect and of course this is after you have been honest with him, told him his origin story and HOW SPECIAL & IMPORTANT he is in your life, even if unplanned. He is your family. In truth, you've been given a 2nd chance. Don't screw it up. You can't change the past. Don't chase it. This is no longer about you. Good luck Dad.
What a fool! But he should get a lawyer and secure 100% custody of his son. He should be able to get it without too much difficulty and it will put him in a stronger position when she comes back and tries to trade custody for money.
Omfg. This is so sad dude. These poor kids. All 5 of them... I do have a sliver of empathy for the dad... ONLY bc being a parent is hard n he got played. I'm not saying I feel bad for him.. I just feel for him for being such a dumbass.... if he didn't have a kid w/ this lady I wouldn't have empathy. Actually... maybe it's just the son I have empathy for bc the second i remove the kid from the scenario I'm laughing at this fool. Even though he deserves EVERYTHING that's coming to him.... it really sucks that 4 kids don't know their half sibling n this little boy is going to grow up in such a dysfunctional situation that I hope the girls can atleast get over it enough to have a relationship w/ the boy. Bc at the end of the day that's all that matters. The kids. I'm a dad's girl... so it breaks my heart to think of 4 young women not having their dad in their life. But had my dad done this...... i probably would have too. Your reap what you sow baby. THE KIDS ARE THE ONLY VICTIMS! & mom!
I didn't mean the girls need to "get over it" I worded that poorly. I mean, hopefully they can atleast look past this enough to give their brother a chance so he doesn't have to be punished for the sins of his father n mother. Bc let's face it. That little boy got the s**t end of the stick w/ parents. It's not fair to him. He did nothing wrong. He's an innocent just like the girls n mom. F**k dad. Give the brother a chance n allow him to have a family that loves him... especially when all he has is a cheating a*s dumb a*s dad who got played n knocked up a grifter. Would have iced him out too****
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Cheaters are vile. Ones who don't use condoms are especially vile & stupid. Serves him right. So is the woman (for helping to destroy a marriage), if she didn't/wouldn't protect herself. As an aside: (sorry, but this kind of post seems to be one of many lately) are using contraceptives so hard for peeps to get/use nowadays??? If you have to pay for it in whatever Country you're in, then that Country is in the Dark Age. You should not have to pay for contraceptives - especially considering that those in power often punch down at poorer peeps than them re: overpopulation. Admittedly, not sure if they used condoms, which aren't the safest choice. He's still a rotten piece of rubbish, regardless. The Ex wife & kids are well out of that shizz.
The AP deliberately didn't use contraception (or sabotaged it) so she could get pregnant by who she thought was a rich man - so he'd either have to stay with her or pay large support checks. Getting pregnant was always her intent.
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Always give your d*ck a name, cos you don't want a stranger making all your decisions !
I have the feeling he wouldn't be regretting it for a second if the girlfriend had remained aggressively into him. His comments about repeatedly attempting to open the marriage mean he was going to blow things up eventually, he just had the bad luck/ karmic justice of picking the fake. He totally thought she (or rather, lots of sex with a young, hot, foreign woman who made him feel like a million bucks because she was sucking up to him) was worth blowing his life up over until she revealed it was an act and turned the tap off. Now he's sad, but it's more because he can't attract another one, being old, poor, and saddled with a baby, which is making him realize his ex is as good as he is ever going to get, rather than genuine remorse and change of heart.
Baby didn't trap you. You can choose who you cohabitate with. I didn't read the rest of the story but this felt important.
I'm not sure which line of thought amuses me more. The one where, since he has been with his wife since middle school, he deserves to have sex with other people, or where he mentions that they have been divorced for more than 2 years and she was marrying a friend known for more than a decade by the ENTIRE family, but they still must have been meeting up before because that is so fast for a relationship to change. I think the second one, since he ruined his marriage in way less time.
If you look out the window, past the buildings and maybe, past the mountains, you can, probably, find the last shred of sympathy I could possibly have for him flying into the horizon ...
My life is back again... After 5years of Broken marriage, my wife left me with our kids .I felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time.Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Eze Odogwu, who I met online On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet. I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster.Some people testified that he brought their Ex boyfriend back, some testified that he restores Womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also came across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Jenni, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 4 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr.Eze Odogwu contact email After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him via his email address and explained my problem to him. In just 96 hours, my wife came back to me, and we solved our issues. We are even
"She baby trapped me" Buddy you are an entire grown-a*s man who let the Little General do all your thinkin for you. There will be no pity coming from me. You completely sh*t the bed and now you're complaining about the smell.
He doesn't get it. He want a wondercure to get his old life back. He needs to understand that some things, once lost, are lost forever. But he, oh no, he isn't bad. Sure, he SAYS all the right things, but it comes out at the end where he is angry that his ex wife remarried. He and golddigger girl totally deserved each other. Poor kids, though.
Sorry, this guy isn't going to repair the relationship with his daughters, because he's still blaming everybody else. Ex wife is to blame because she wouldn't open their marriage to allow him to have sex with other women. Young secretary is to blame for being a gold digger and baby trapping him. What, after 4 daughters he still doesn't know how babies are made??? I'm still wondering how the secretary got the impression OP was rich when it was his wife funding his new business??? Hard to believe OP didn't deliberately give the wrong impression somehow. And now OP is trying to throw shade at his wife for remarrying a long time friend of the family!!! Dude!! you're a walking cautionary tale of FAFO!!! You caused your downfall, nobody else. You weren't forced to have sex with your young secretary, you already were wanting to cheat on your wife with another woman and you were very quick to hire a pretty young girl as your secretary!! Bet you planned to seduce her from day 1!
It was the phrase "gone back to her own country" that should have set the alarm bells ringing...
Well well well, if it's not the consequenses of your own actions, aka fork around and find out.
So he cheated. Without a condom. Which means any STD his bare d**k collected could he passed on to his wife. Think about that for just a second dude. I'll be honest. I won't be surprised if she was also cheating. Just the sound of it is a hit suspicious. But even if she was, it justifies and changes absolutely nothing. He literally F***ed around and now he'll spend the rest of his life finding out.
OP messed up big time. As a human being who has admittedly made really crappy mistakes before that hurt other people and then seriously regretted it….I have empathy for OP. He made his bed and now he has to lie in it. I understand the horrifying feeling of realizing you just hurt so many people you love and will never be able to take it back or make it better. All because you were just being dumb. I know the pain and regret. OP definitely is TA in this scenario but he’s also a human being and seems to completely understand how bad he messed up and what he’s just lost. If I was his friend I would tell OP he was a huge, stupid a*****e…..and then take him out for a beer and let him vent and talk about it.
He's only sad about it because the chick ended up not even liking him, he'd still happily be with her if she hadn't been playing him too. He also seems to blame her for the pregnancy, there are plenty of ways men can take it in their own hands to not get a woman pregnant, yet he is choosing to blame her. I'm sure his daughters would be disgusted by that attitude. He insinuates his wife was cheating as well. So no he does not deserve sympathy because he is still coming across as a selfish prick.
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I love cheaters frame it like having sex with someone else is like tripping while you're walking. "Ooops I accidentally raw dogged this other person after pledging to be faithful to you".
The secretary “baby trapped” OP? Has he never heard of condoms? Why does the secretary get all the blame? It takes two to tango …
This was my thought too. Not only did the husband not take responsibility for birth control but he put his wife at risk of STDs by dipping his naked ding dong in the candy bucket. He didn't take responsibility for himself and he didn't care at all about consequences for his wife. He deserves everything he got.
Load More Replies... Still not taking full responsibility is he? Wife must have been having an affair? Seriously dude, you had an affair and a child plus 2 years on....that's not a fast time frame for her to meet and marry after you left. Trying to justify it all by bringing her down while wishing he had her back, what a tool.
Especially considering he blew up their entire marriage. Those feelings are just gone (been there). You can move on a lot quicker when the other person is just terrible.
Load More Replies... "A hot 25 year old was chasing me and really persistant, despite me being 42 and married." Hun, that was the point at which you needed to fire her for sexual harassment, hire a non-hot receptionist, and focus on your business and your wonderful life with your amazing wife and family. This dude hired a hot young woman as a receptionist for his one-man passion project financed by his wife. After/while pressing to open their marriage. He was always wanted to cheat. He just didn't plan to get a baby and a divorce out of it.
He loved his ex-wife so much, but he tried to open their relationship because he was never with another woman?
I'm guessing that his ex wife had never slept with another man, either. So if she cheated but still loves him, it's okay right? Haha
Load More Replies... That guy needs to just leave his daughters alone. He can’t even admit that he was 100% at fault. He messed with their lives enough.
"Baby-trapped" lol. So he didn't know unprotected sex gets... babies? Give me a break. He always pressed for an open marriage - just a cheater who wants no repercussions.
Here is advice to this guy. You know you messed up. From the tone of your post, it sounds like you are giving yourself an awful lot of slack. You need to really think about what you did, the people you harmed, and what you have in front of you. You can never make this right with your old family. Be open to listening and accept what they give you give you. You lost the right to demand anything with them. With your new child, make its life the best you can. Find a job, work hard, and give it every opportunity you can. The only good thing that came out of this is that child. So don't mess it up. You threw away an easy life. You have a chance to do right. That is your salvation there. Do that right and you may get something you don't deserve, a happy, fulfilling life.
I hope the family friend she married treats her and the daughters like gold.
Load More Replies... I loved my ex and still do - like f**k ya did...maybe as a friend but not one you respect. Omg my ex wouldn't have an open marriage, what I'm going to do is get the new girlfriend to have an open relationship - maybe I'm a really good detective but I'm seeing a pattern
If you read the reddit page, this was 2 years ago or more. The original poster deleted his reddit account and he was piled on by everyone who commented.
Her fault, didn't want an open marriage. Her fault, she seduced me & baby-trapped me. Their fault for no relationship, I was a good dad! Your ex out classed you in every sense of the word. I'm so glad her parents never gave the house to you & I find that so wise on their part & also, hilarious.
Her parents may have had a bad feeling about him all along
Load More Replies... He f****d around and found it. I don't blame his daughters one bit for not wanting anything to do with him.
Man needs to accept he didn't just burn the bridge behind him, but the entire village as well. Of course his daughters hate him: he broke up the family! I think ex wife is being overly nice in offering to keep him up to date on the family. I don't believe wife was cheating with the family friend, but curious how long the family friend has been interested in the ex wife; glad he's stepped up, regardless, as long as he's good to them and not a creep. Face it bro .. you fubar'd (fúcked up beyond all recognition) what you had.
"They'll understand me more & gain context for life" You cheated. Plain & simple. Why should they resonate or understand cheaters? Are you expecting them to cheat?
Worse even, is he gonna be happy if his girls are cheated on by their SO? What possible role model does he think he is going to be for them?
Load More Replies... "I'm pretty pissed there's a man living in my daughter's life that I don't know about" Dude, you cheated on your wife. You had an affair & had a bastard kid. You have ZERO right to be pissed about anything that your ex decides to do. Did you expect her to ask you? Tell you? Yeah, no. You missed out on that the second you thought with your dich instead of your brain
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. (The baby isn't the stupid prize, the dumpster fire situation is). I feel so bad for the kids.
He needs to come to the realization that she screwed up and everyone has moved on from him, including the chick he cheated with. Soon, his son will do the same and if he thinks he's lonely now, wait until the son becomes aware of the whole situation. It's over, and now it's just you and your son against the world. Make the best of it and hope your daughters come around, and you can't blame them if they don't.
Why on earth did this dumb, gullible, idiot publicize his stupidity and poor decision making online for all the world to see? No shame. Clickbait?
He thinks he is a wordsmith who can manipulate the sordid such that we can all see he is just a poor misguided victim of the 25 year olds manipulations. Laid it on nice and thick too. His 40 year old butt taken in by a Jezebel oh wo is he....
Load More Replies... Well, first off, nobody "baby trapped" him. He inserted his d**k in someone and got her pregnant. A vagina is not, and has never been, a bear trap. Secondly, all that happened afterwards was predictable even for a not so bright person. Sorry not sorry.
This story should be given to all couples entering marriage, not just the guy but the woman too. I've read too many stories of couples committing infidelity like they're taking tennis lessons.
I've heard of eff around and find out, but this dude EFF'ED AROUND AND FOUND OUT. Zero sympathy for him. Guy asked for concrete advice, but there's really none to give him. His wife and family are gone. The secretary is gone. He has a son to raise now, and that's what he needs to concentrate on. Hopefully he won't grow to be the narcissistic a-hole that his father is.
The only thing to do is to be a person that the daughters would be proud of if they decide to contact him again. It might not work, but be the best version of himself he can be, for his son but also so that he's more worthy of his daughters' time in the future. Be open to contact, send birthday cards but don't push. Maybe they will want him in their lives in the future, maybe not. But, being a good dad and person from here on out is the only chance. If you are bitter and miserable, no one will want contact. Work on your life and hope for the best.
I take it his penis is too small to get condoms in his size 🤷🏻♀️ Contraception is for both Adults to take care of, accidents happen of course but he took zero responsibility here to. I have a microscopic smidgen of sad for him 0.00000006%. He'd been with the same person all his life which included bringing up four daughters. His ex wife loved him so much she was prepared to find a passion project which unfortunately turned out to be the wrong kind of passion. Thinking the ex wife remarried too quickly because what? She waited until they were divorced and luckily found the perfect gentleman?? Absolute prick which is what he was thinking with and still seems to be... Destroyed his ex wife, destroyed his four daughters, f****d up literally the secretary and truly screwed up that poor son. Two s****y parents and four likely fabulous half sisters who want nothing to do with him....
Another case of it being everyone else's fault. My girlfriend's a gold digger who never loved me. My ex found someone else and was probably having an affair with him. My daughters will understand how I feel when they're older and forgive me.
This man royally screwed up his life, and the shrapnel from his mistakes hit everyone in his life he cared about. He was a fool, and it's too late, but I HOPE the little boy doesn't grow up feeling responsible, and the fact that his sisters want nothing to do with him is going to weigh heavily on him growing up. This is such an unfair situation for the kids. Dad MUST do his best to raise and protect this little boy from the judgment of his mistakes. He needs to stay consistent in his daughter's lives. Reach out, even if they reject. Keep doing it. Show them you are persistent, but not pushy. I hope things work out but there really is no one to blame but himself. He effed around and found out.
His ex-wife should have told OP... you let the penis come between us. OP is nothing but a scumbag, poor excuse of a husband, and father. Wanted an open marriage with his ex-wife. You did have an open marriage. Your wife just didn't know it.
He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He already wanted to open up the marriage, which just means he wants to f**k around without his wife calling it cheating, and when that didn't happen, he cheated anyway. If you feel the desperate need to f**k someone else, so much that you want to open the marriage, just divorce already and f**k whomever you want. At least then he would still be in his children's lives. Best he can do now if be a good dad for his new son and move on.
I guess you can feel better knowing lots of as sho les ruin lives because all they could think with was the co ck. Suck it up princess, you did it to yourself. I hope your kids hate you forever.
If this isn't a classic case of "Fool around and find out," I don't know what is. Karma got ya good, OP, and you deserve it. :)
LMAO!! This idiot seriously went to the internet for sympathy & pretend like it wasn't 100% his fault??? The "secretary" did what obviously would get her a green card. The "baby trap" plan kind of worked for her, too bad you're broke & she can't dig for gold off you. Love how the ex-wife & daughters are extremely no contact with him as well as moved on (happily). Karma bit him in the a*s & took off one helluva chunk. This is a perfect example of you don't know what you've got til it's gone. Feel sorry for the son since didn't put in a request to be born into this mess.
As a child of a father who cheated, I can tell you I have never forgiven him. He ruined our family and broke my mother's heart. It's been 25 years and neither know nor care if he's even still alive.
LMAO he just couldn't resist, yeah sure. That's not a mistake, that's a CHOICE. She didn't trap him, he walked right into that. What a fool.
No you are not a good father. A good father does not step out on his family.
I don't need to read the comments as most will drag your a*s over the fire. Moving forward, ex is remarried, kids want zero to do with you and son's mother is out of picture. So . . . Now FOCUS!! On teaching your son how to be the man YOU ARE. NOT! How to respect others, to keep your vows, keep promises, have values, loyalty, commitment, to work hard, (was your son's mother the only one looking for a sugar-daddy/mommy?) Teach him to have the values, the respect, the character you have lacked so he can grow up to be a man people respect and of course this is after you have been honest with him, told him his origin story and HOW SPECIAL & IMPORTANT he is in your life, even if unplanned. He is your family. In truth, you've been given a 2nd chance. Don't screw it up. You can't change the past. Don't chase it. This is no longer about you. Good luck Dad.
What a fool! But he should get a lawyer and secure 100% custody of his son. He should be able to get it without too much difficulty and it will put him in a stronger position when she comes back and tries to trade custody for money.
Omfg. This is so sad dude. These poor kids. All 5 of them... I do have a sliver of empathy for the dad... ONLY bc being a parent is hard n he got played. I'm not saying I feel bad for him.. I just feel for him for being such a dumbass.... if he didn't have a kid w/ this lady I wouldn't have empathy. Actually... maybe it's just the son I have empathy for bc the second i remove the kid from the scenario I'm laughing at this fool. Even though he deserves EVERYTHING that's coming to him.... it really sucks that 4 kids don't know their half sibling n this little boy is going to grow up in such a dysfunctional situation that I hope the girls can atleast get over it enough to have a relationship w/ the boy. Bc at the end of the day that's all that matters. The kids. I'm a dad's girl... so it breaks my heart to think of 4 young women not having their dad in their life. But had my dad done this...... i probably would have too. Your reap what you sow baby. THE KIDS ARE THE ONLY VICTIMS! & mom!
I didn't mean the girls need to "get over it" I worded that poorly. I mean, hopefully they can atleast look past this enough to give their brother a chance so he doesn't have to be punished for the sins of his father n mother. Bc let's face it. That little boy got the s**t end of the stick w/ parents. It's not fair to him. He did nothing wrong. He's an innocent just like the girls n mom. F**k dad. Give the brother a chance n allow him to have a family that loves him... especially when all he has is a cheating a*s dumb a*s dad who got played n knocked up a grifter. Would have iced him out too****
Load More Replies... Cheaters are vile. Ones who don't use condoms are especially vile & stupid. Serves him right. So is the woman (for helping to destroy a marriage), if she didn't/wouldn't protect herself. As an aside: (sorry, but this kind of post seems to be one of many lately) are using contraceptives so hard for peeps to get/use nowadays??? If you have to pay for it in whatever Country you're in, then that Country is in the Dark Age. You should not have to pay for contraceptives - especially considering that those in power often punch down at poorer peeps than them re: overpopulation. Admittedly, not sure if they used condoms, which aren't the safest choice. He's still a rotten piece of rubbish, regardless. The Ex wife & kids are well out of that shizz.
The AP deliberately didn't use contraception (or sabotaged it) so she could get pregnant by who she thought was a rich man - so he'd either have to stay with her or pay large support checks. Getting pregnant was always her intent.
Load More Replies... Always give your d*ck a name, cos you don't want a stranger making all your decisions !
I have the feeling he wouldn't be regretting it for a second if the girlfriend had remained aggressively into him. His comments about repeatedly attempting to open the marriage mean he was going to blow things up eventually, he just had the bad luck/ karmic justice of picking the fake. He totally thought she (or rather, lots of sex with a young, hot, foreign woman who made him feel like a million bucks because she was sucking up to him) was worth blowing his life up over until she revealed it was an act and turned the tap off. Now he's sad, but it's more because he can't attract another one, being old, poor, and saddled with a baby, which is making him realize his ex is as good as he is ever going to get, rather than genuine remorse and change of heart.
Baby didn't trap you. You can choose who you cohabitate with. I didn't read the rest of the story but this felt important.
I'm not sure which line of thought amuses me more. The one where, since he has been with his wife since middle school, he deserves to have sex with other people, or where he mentions that they have been divorced for more than 2 years and she was marrying a friend known for more than a decade by the ENTIRE family, but they still must have been meeting up before because that is so fast for a relationship to change. I think the second one, since he ruined his marriage in way less time.
If you look out the window, past the buildings and maybe, past the mountains, you can, probably, find the last shred of sympathy I could possibly have for him flying into the horizon ...
My life is back again... After 5years of Broken marriage, my wife left me with our kids .I felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time.Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Eze Odogwu, who I met online On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet. I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster.Some people testified that he brought their Ex boyfriend back, some testified that he restores Womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also came across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Jenni, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 4 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr.Eze Odogwu contact email After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him via his email address and explained my problem to him. In just 96 hours, my wife came back to me, and we solved our issues. We are even
"She baby trapped me" Buddy you are an entire grown-a*s man who let the Little General do all your thinkin for you. There will be no pity coming from me. You completely sh*t the bed and now you're complaining about the smell.
He doesn't get it. He want a wondercure to get his old life back. He needs to understand that some things, once lost, are lost forever. But he, oh no, he isn't bad. Sure, he SAYS all the right things, but it comes out at the end where he is angry that his ex wife remarried. He and golddigger girl totally deserved each other. Poor kids, though.
Sorry, this guy isn't going to repair the relationship with his daughters, because he's still blaming everybody else. Ex wife is to blame because she wouldn't open their marriage to allow him to have sex with other women. Young secretary is to blame for being a gold digger and baby trapping him. What, after 4 daughters he still doesn't know how babies are made??? I'm still wondering how the secretary got the impression OP was rich when it was his wife funding his new business??? Hard to believe OP didn't deliberately give the wrong impression somehow. And now OP is trying to throw shade at his wife for remarrying a long time friend of the family!!! Dude!! you're a walking cautionary tale of FAFO!!! You caused your downfall, nobody else. You weren't forced to have sex with your young secretary, you already were wanting to cheat on your wife with another woman and you were very quick to hire a pretty young girl as your secretary!! Bet you planned to seduce her from day 1!
It was the phrase "gone back to her own country" that should have set the alarm bells ringing...
Well well well, if it's not the consequenses of your own actions, aka fork around and find out.
So he cheated. Without a condom. Which means any STD his bare d**k collected could he passed on to his wife. Think about that for just a second dude. I'll be honest. I won't be surprised if she was also cheating. Just the sound of it is a hit suspicious. But even if she was, it justifies and changes absolutely nothing. He literally F***ed around and now he'll spend the rest of his life finding out.
OP messed up big time. As a human being who has admittedly made really crappy mistakes before that hurt other people and then seriously regretted it….I have empathy for OP. He made his bed and now he has to lie in it. I understand the horrifying feeling of realizing you just hurt so many people you love and will never be able to take it back or make it better. All because you were just being dumb. I know the pain and regret. OP definitely is TA in this scenario but he’s also a human being and seems to completely understand how bad he messed up and what he’s just lost. If I was his friend I would tell OP he was a huge, stupid a*****e…..and then take him out for a beer and let him vent and talk about it.
He's only sad about it because the chick ended up not even liking him, he'd still happily be with her if she hadn't been playing him too. He also seems to blame her for the pregnancy, there are plenty of ways men can take it in their own hands to not get a woman pregnant, yet he is choosing to blame her. I'm sure his daughters would be disgusted by that attitude. He insinuates his wife was cheating as well. So no he does not deserve sympathy because he is still coming across as a selfish prick.
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