Someone Asked, “What’s The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?”, 30 Women Delivered
With so many years of equal rights progression, sadly, we still live in a largely male-dominated society. The dominance over women can be visible in virtually all walks of life, from your workplace to your family or friend circle. Speaking of which, you don’t ever have to be friends with toxic men, or men you don’t feel comfortable with, or women, for that matter. Listen, friends are people we decide to build a friendship with and there’s no obligation.
So this eye-opening Reddit thread comes as a cold shower for any woman out there who realized they overestimated their male friend. “What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?” Redditor u/sedbiss asked on the Ask Women subreddit, which is home to a whopping 3.4 million members.
The unsettling stories and genuine, yet very disturbing experiences women had with their male “friends” started coming in, and it makes you realize that some people don’t deserve to get close to you and get a friend tag.
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We were about 15, and a friend told me that my 6 year old niece was "hot". Stopped having anything to do with him. About a year later he was arrested for molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18! That was in the 80's and he got 30 years.
I work in a male-dominated space and they consider me 'one of the boys,' aka they talk s**t without a filter, even when I'm around. The countless number of ugly comments made about women and the amount of pride they have in cheating on their partners is astounding. I remember one of them saying, 'We go for women in their early 20s because they don't know who they are yet, and they can't argue back. They're easier to train and mold.' He was dead serious, and I was disgusted.
I knew this guy when I was in 10th grade, he was a senior. We were friends and I made the mistake of letting him walk me home. He showed up unannounced multiple times and said disgusting things the longer this went on. He said he wanted to “breed me so hard that my screams were heard by satan.”
I hate him.
Although it's hard to exactly pinpoint why some men act like entitled jerks and have the audacity to tell these things to women, the toxic behavior is partly if not largely blamed on them being insecure. In fact, men who are insecure about their masculinity showcases typical behavior. It manifests in some form of anxiety about a man being presented as a less masculine, more “vulnerable” version of himself.
Such anxiety may be present if a man refuses to carry his girlfriend’s bag, or hesitates to hug his male friends in public. Psychologists believe that these men who aren’t secure in their masculinity are aware that their manhood is precarious and that they may, at any moment, lose manhood status in other people’s eyes.
I said I was r**ped by my uncle and he said "Lucky uncle"
He said, 'I honestly didn’t care about what he had done to you, I was just listening in the hope that you’d cheat on him with me.' Then I immediately rid him of my life.
If you girls knew how guys talk about you when you can’t hear them, you wouldn’t go near us again.
This belief can be understood as a byproduct of our society that spreads the belief of gender role norms, which are often sexist and imply that gender is a social status that has to be earned.
A 2012 study has shed even more light on how masculine insecurity can predetermine men’s behavior. Scientists conducted an online survey that probed how the male participants perceived masculinity standards and how their own self-image fit in with this perception. The 600 male participants were asked whether they felt as masculine as the average guy or if they wished to be more macho. The survey also included information about the individual's substance use and violent behavior.
In high school, i was SA’d by two male “friends.” This happened at a party in which no one did anything. I didn’t handle the aftermath well (who would) & i threw myself into more reckless decisions(partying, drugs, alcohol, hanging out w the wrong crowd). Anyways, I was at another party that one of my best (male) friends was throwing. I was really drunk & another one of my male friends said to the one throwing the party, “she’s in the perfect state for you to bring her upstairs now.” They had both been at the party I was SA’d at & the one that threw the party was actually the first person to ever ask me if what happened that night was consensual. It almost turned into this joke with everyone that if you got a couple drinks in me that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do; everyone thought it was funny. I remember when those words left my “friends” mouth then watching the other one just nod, agree, & laugh. I was terrified. The one that threw the party had a crush on me & spent the whole night chasing me to try & apologize. It felt like a part of me split entirely that night when I realized that I was always just an object to the people I thought were my friends; that no one cared about what was done to me & they would do it again. I felt so helpless. It’s been five years since my first assault in high school - still don’t know what those two boys did that night & i don’t want to.
My male friend once told me that a lady cut him off on the highway, which pissed him off as anyone would be. But instead of just moving on from that, he followed her all the to her house and parked right outside her home so he could 'scare her.' He then laughed and said that she didn’t get out of the car until he drove away. I was f**king horrified when he told me all of this, and I went off on him. I told him how f**ked up it was and how she probably felt scared for her life. He did end up feeling bad about it and told me he was embarrassed and upset that he scared her, but it still doesn’t excuse what he did.
When I was 17, a guy that I considered a good friend was mad that I rejected him, so he made a profile on an escort website and used my photos and all my personal info. He said it was just a joke. I called the police.
The researchers found that the men with high discrepancy stress were more likely to be violent than the men who were not as concerned about their masculinity. The two groups, however, were not likely to differ significantly in their alcohol and drug use, the scientists said. They also found that these men characterized as having high gender role discrepancy and high discrepancy stress partook in assaults causing injury 348 percent more than men with low discrepancy stress.
We were coming back from an event with another male friend, mid conversation he said “you’re actually gorgeous, surprised no one has r**ed you yet”. They both just laughed.
Haven’t forgotten and won’t.
A gay, friendly coworker gave me a morning hug and then unhooked my bra. Naturally, I freaked and yelled at him and he just jokingly said, 'I like boys, it’s okay for me to do that!' It was a confusing way to feel violated, but I needed him to understand how disgusting that opinion was, so I made sure he saw me tell other people what happened. He responded the same way a few times until he realized how stupid he sounded.
I would've grabbed him somewhere inappropriate and go "I like girls so it's okay for me to touch you there as I have no sexual intentions" and see how he likes it.
Not a male 'friend' per se, but a male acquaintance said he enjoyed hurting women emotionally and, knowing they liked him, he could then take advantage of their feelings and do what he wanted. This is something most women are probably aware of, but it was shocking how unashamed he was in just saying it out loud.
I didn’t really know him that well and we were hanging out at a bar. I was about to go to the bathroom and he made a comment about spiking my drink while I was gone. He said it was 'just a joke' but that’s s**t's not funny. I took my drink to the bartender instead and never saw him again.
I used to work in specialized group homes for disabled and aggressive youth. I was 20 at the time and am a woman. My coworker always brought up topics that were horrifying and made me very uncomfortable, but the very worst one was when he said, 'All females have a r**e fantasy' We were alone at 11 p.m. while the kids in the house slept. I left THE MOMENT my shift was over and immediately requested to never be placed with him again.
I told a friend about my sexual assault experience and immediately he said, 'See, that’s why you have to watch who you get involved with.' Basically saying that it’s my fault for not noticing the red flags. Thanks, my guy! I was the one who was assaulted, no need to turn this into an 'I am the wise one' moment.
I was roommates and friends with this guy for years. We were talking one night and he asked if I remembered the party we met at years before, and I said that I couldn't remember any details because I was super drunk. I actually had to be walked home by some kind acquaintances at the party that night. He said he knew, and that he was sober and trying to get me to come home with him, but I got pulled away by those acquaintances. I wanted to cry. This person who I considered a friend, who lived in the bedroom next to me, looked me in the eye and said that he wished he assaulted me. It's probably the worst and scariest thing anyone has ever said to me.
I hope you left that apartment immediately and found somewhere else to live. That doesn't seem safe.
We had a friend's husband help my husband and I move. My husband went to make another trip to grab more of our things, so my friend's husband and I were alone. He said, 'Man, there’s no way that I would ever leave my wife alone with any of my friends' To this day, I still don’t know what to think about that.
That apparently he sees women as exotic animals you need to protect from poachers?
When I was 19 I was out walking in the middle of the night with my two closest guy friends, one of them was quiet, shy, sweet. I had a crush on him. The other one was loud and sometimes annoying, . We were all high. They slowed down and I kept walking. We got to a field we went to all the time. Suddenly they both came up t behind me and the quiet one grabbed my hands and held them behind my back. The other one started putting his hands inside my shirt and pants. When I finally got free the quiet one who was holding my hands said "dude it felt like we were raping her."
Those are words I'll never forget. As weird as it is, what he said effects more than what they did. I never in a million years thought I'd hear those words come out of his lips.
About one of our other friends at a barbeque: 'I’ll make my move when she’s drunk enough.' I kept my friend and all other females away from him that night.
Was at a party one night and guy who I would call an acquaintance more than a friend sidled up to me and pointing to a female friend said "just a couple more drinks and she'll be ready for fun". I turned to him smiling and got close to his face and quietly said "if I see you within ten feet of her I'll put you through the nearest window". He left soon after.
“That time you passed out drunk at the party, I fingered you.” He also proceeded to tell me how he only became ‘friends’ with me in the first place with the intention of sleeping with me and resorted to non-consensual touching when I didn’t accept his feelings. Real douchebag.
Not exactly a friend, but a buddy from my travel group, when we had an argument about having/not having kids: "If I could, I would imprison you and f**k you until you get pregnant". Apparently, in his mind i was insane for not wanting kids when i'm an "interesting person".
Keep such dark fantasies to yourself and people you can talk to about such tgings, and even then, be very very careful
He commented saying my outfit made him want to take me to a dark corner and doing horrible things to me but he can’t because we’re friends and you don’t “do those things” to women you like.
Multiple grown men had told me my entire childhood that I had 'amazing birthing hips.'
Don’t you ever get scared of being alone with me?
One said something in a group chat saying he’d basically go pull some 'whale,' clearly meaning fat woman if he wanted to get laid. I, being a fat woman, called him on that, then told my friend who he’d clearly had a crush on and had been trying to get together with for a while. It's safe to say she never went out with him.
That he could tell by a woman's scent that she's on her period and whether or not she's a virgin. That was so creepy, I didn't ask for any further details.
A male friend of three years wanted to move into a room that I was vacating. When my housemates chose the other potential renter instead of him, he turned on me, shouting and blaming me for the decision not going his way. His words were something along the lines of 'I should've stopped being friends with you a long time ago when I realized that you wouldn't have sex with me.'
I was in London with a big group of friends when I was a teenager, two of the boys came over to me and said "that guy over there offered to buy you for the weekend, we want you to pretend to be ok with it, and we will rob him" I was f**king horrified, I hardly knew the boys and this sounded terrifying to me, one of them started getting angry with me and saying I had to because he knew other girls men had tried to do this with, and they needed to learn a lesson.
Still makes my blood run cold, I was 15 by the way.
“If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.”
He made a 'joke' about drugging and r**ing me. I was 15 and he was in his 20s. He said it in a way that made it seem like he was testing the waters and trying to figure out what I’d let him get away with. It’s safe to say that he was no longer considered a friend after that.
I used to have a cocaine problem. My 'best friend,' the person who usually went to the dealers to get the drugs we used together on a daily basis, once tried to pimp me out to a dealer. Looking back, he had definitely groomed me and gradually pushed boundaries to lead up to this, but one day he said, 'Hey, you know [dealer] thinks that you’re really hot right? I bet if you just suck his d**k or something, he would throw us a good amount of free s**t' I was a vulnerable 20-year-old girl who was in so much deeper than I ever thought possible, so I made the perfect victim. But I still told him that he could go suck the guy’s d**k if he wants free drugs that badly because it sure wasn’t gonna be me. Also, just for the record, if I’M sucking the d**k then why are WE getting the drugs?
Great response, luckily he didn't get too agressive when you rejected (if he did I'm sorry)
"You've already done it before. So you're no longer a virgin. It doesn't really matter. You should let me do it to you."
My so-called best friend after I confided in him that I'd slept with my first boyfriend, while I was locked in his car at night and he was meant to be driving me home.
A guy who I thought was my friend told me 'No offense, guys are friends with you because they want to f**k you.' and that ruined me for so long. I couldn’t be friends with anyone without questioning their intentions. I still want to cry whenever I think about it.
If you just let me f**k you, I'll go back to being your friend.'
He was asking to come over late at night and I said no bc my mom was home and I wasn’t interested in him even as a friend so I had no desire to allow him to meet my mother or even to come hang out with me. When I said no because of my mom being there thinking that would deter him he said “that’s okay I’ll just tie her up in the basement haha” … blocked instantly.
"We're supposed to be together! I just know it!" As he(rather large man) held me against the wall and forced his tongue my throat while crying.
.......on date #2.
Had to pull the old "Yea! We are! Im into it, I swear!" Until i could escape safely.
I had roses show up on/in my car. On my front porch. ON MY BED WHEN NOBODY WAS HOME, for weeks. I had to f**king move!
Edit: we were friends for a couple years first.
My gay friend (him being gay is relevant here) said to me: you wouldn’t mind being r**ed, would you?
Me, very sarcastically, thinking it was a sick joke and not a horrible real question: well I don’t think most r**ists light candles and make sure you’re happy and comfortable, and even if he did, still no, so yeah I would very much just SLIGHTLY mind being r**ed.
Him: huh, I wouldn’t mind if some guy just f**ked me out of no where. I didn’t think you were so uptight.
Me: wh…
There's a world of difference between having a rape fantasy and actually getting raped, and 'consent' is that world.
That he videotaped girls when they used his bathroom. Never went to his house again.
He started rapidly accelerating on an extremely dangerous road, and, looking over at me, asked: "do you want to f**king die, b***h?"
We don't speak anymore.
He told me he watched me and my new boyfriend have sex through new boyfriend's blinds. I brushed it off as him trying to scare me until he started describing what I had been wearing and the things inside the room.
He stalked me for a good four years.
My old male roommates of six years said, 'Of course, we were all thinking about whether we could have sex with you, and were kind of hoping we could join if you brought home a chick one day.' It was very diminishing of the years of friendship I thought that we had.
The feelings are common, the rudeness is not. After years they should've known you don't take such brutal honesty well. And as a lesbian, f that last comment. Why do people still think it works that way
After I had lost some weight, a male friend said to me, 'Now you're getting how to be a proper woman.
After getting very drunk and ill, he arranged a room at the hotel where he worked. I spent all night puking in a bucket. The next morning we stopped by my work (also his previous work) and he made a silly joke that I didn't think too much of. A year later, I found out that he'd told my coworkers that he slept with me because 'He always gets what he wants.' All of a sudden, I understood why my coworkers thought something was going on between us. He had already made a bunch of other comments over the year that I got angry over (about my weight and my mother), but as soon as I heard this, I instantly cut him out of my life. He didn't understand and kept calling me 20 times a night, but I blocked him.
Had a male friend I was giving a hair cut to, he was my close friends neighbor and married. They were struggling financially so I offered to cut his hair for free. My friend and his wife had to run some errands so I was in his home clipping his hair, just the two of us. Out of nowhere he says "I could r**e you right now and no one would hear you scream"
'I could stab you in the throat with my scissors, however, and the reason no one would hear YOU scream, is because I would have severed your vocal chords.'
I was really self conscious when I was around 13/14 and was constantly scared that I was too fat (I was literally underweight).
Anyways I had a friend and we were texting after school and idk how it came up in conversation but I mentioned that I felt like I was fat. He was like no way you’re really skinny blah blah and I was like no look I’m fat and sent a picture of myself wearing a crop top and said look at my stomach it’s not flat or something like that.
His response was “ngl I would wank to this photo if you want to prove that you’re not fat”
Very strange. He also asked for me to send him a picture of my underwear on my head and to put clothespins on my nipples. WE WERE 14.
Anyways I stopped being his friend after the last one.
Had one of my officers call me up in the middle of the night and says he going through some s**t, wants to know if I can go for a drive with him and help clear his mind. I say yes, I’ve lost Officers to suicide and their mental health is extremely important to me. He picks me up, and we go driving. We end up in the middle of nowhere and in the middle of a forest. He appears to have calmed down, and the conversation has gotten lighter. I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but he started talking about my outfit, I was wearing jeans , a t-shirt and a north face jacket. He makes the comment that I don’t dress like a lesbian. I laugh and say “well I was actually going to wear a flannel but I didn’t realize how cold it was.” All the humor and light mood drains out of the truck as he looks over at me and says “Well, sarge it’s a good thing you didn’t, if you had you’d be getting r**ed right now.” He looks at me for a moment, no smile or laugh even just to indicate that it was a horrible, disgusting attempt at a joke. He put his hand on my knee and then says “you know if you ever want to f**k a guy, I hope it’s me.” I looked at his hand, then out the window realizing how bad of a situation I was in, we were in the middle of nowhere. I had no phone signal, no car. The only thing I had working for me was I am in considerably better shape than this man. I tell him “Hey, it’s getting late, you seem like you’re doing better. I really should get home.” He looks at me for a moment and I brace myself to fight or flee when removed his hand and started driving me home. He again was joking and laughing but I just felt sick the rest of the night. He dropped me off and I practically ran inside my house. He quit not too long after and I haven’t seen him since.
Edit: To clarify, I found out later that he apparently had a thing for women in flannels and as someone who regularly wears flannels, I’m super glad I didn’t wear one that night. He also had brought along his handgun and a spotlight both of which he showed me before driving in to the forest, no red flags until the rape comment though. In hindsight, I feel like an idiot.
Don't call yourself an idiot. He'a the idiot if he thinks this is an okay thing to say
That he wanted to hunt me. Literally. In the woods at night with him wearing a terrifying mask he had. The first time he brought it up, he laughed it off as a sexual thing. The second time (because I never learn the easy way), he said it would conclude when I was dead.
My brother's friends totally dropped the façade in front of me at a party once. They were discussing how to get this one guy laid, and their main idea was to get her really drunk. I was shocked.
I was talking with a *female* friend once that the girl I liked wasn't interested and her suggestion was "get her drunk". The problem spans further than just men.
"I really want to r**e someone. Please don't be scared of me."
I was 14 and he was 16. Maybe a budding bdsm fetish he didn't know how to verbalize, or maybe a f**king creep who I'm glad I distanced myself from.
We were working at a hospital together and he followed me towards a closet. I don't even know how it happened, but his hand ended up on my belly, like kind of rubbing it. He asked me when I was going to have sex with him.
He was married with 2 kids, knew I was/am into females, and it wasn't the first time he asked.
"I'm really lonely right now and I miss my ex and I just need some human contact right now and I know we're good friends so I figured you and I could be sex friends."
Which he proceeded to ask me 20 more times after I said no every damn time in less and less polite ways until I finally got home and told him goodbye. I blocked him and never spoke to him again. Tried warning my friends but they didnt listen and he ended up assaulting one of my best friends. Needless to say I was livid and damn glad I shut him out of my life completely.
I've been tracking your cycle and like you better on your period'
After another friend called him out for stalking me. “I just wanted to make sure she wasnt f**king someone”
It was a close friend of mine, close enough to feel comfortable enough sharing my deepest thoughts with. I had just been sexually assaulted a few weeks before this and hadn’t told anyone about it. I decided to confide in him one night when I was over at his house hanging out, and when I told him about what happened, I started crying. Instead of comforting me, he leaned in to kiss me, as if that’s what I needed at that moment. What’s even worse is that I didn’t pull back or reject him, I think that I was so upset and in shock at the same time, I just let it happen. I wish I would have stopped it but I felt frozen.
You probably were frozen. It's possible that your instincts told you that was the safest option or perhaps it was shock but either way, you need to stop giving yourself a hard time. He was the one in the wrong, not you. I hope you have cut him out of your life and have found someone to speak to.
"You know if you're taken from behind it just takes a hand on the back of your head and your face in the ground to make it so you can't scream." While watching horror movies with friends who had left us alone to go out and smoke.
He could sell me because I apparently had the face for it.
Yeah we're not friends anymore.
Wonder how a guy would feel if this was his reality (disclaimer so I don’t get yelled at: yes not all guys, yes everyone is different, no it’s never the woman’s fault, etc.)
If you were single again, I'd love to f you.
Answered with the end of our friendship...
it was never good what he said, but I am happy you dropped him faster than the speed of light!
That if he didn’t ‘love’ me he would probably r**e me. Ex boyfriend from when I was 15. He ended up assaulting a 13/14 year old at 18.
not a friend but one time my ex told me he wants to “skin me”
He wished girls could just exist in pods and they would stay in there until unlocked by him. We were in 7th grade.
Ew do some guys really think about women like this? I’m a f*****g human just like you, I breathe and am hungry and thirsty and mad and tired and happy and experience things too HELLO.
A colleague of mine at a very large and famous company was talking about his wife after a few drinks and going on about how hot he was. Then he said he would murder her if she ever cheated on him. I was like, 'You wouldn't actually murder her, would you?' He was dead serious and said yes she would have to die, I would kill her. Our other colleagues (male) were shushing me, acting as if my questioning him put me in the wrong. It seemed like people felt his background and beliefs were more important than a woman's life.
Some people have such middle-age ideas about cheating. Some even follow books tgat state it
That he wanted to make a woman fall in love with him, marry her, and then kill himself while they were having sex on their wedding night. He said that he wanted to make it so that she could never have sex again without thinking of him.
A coworker once told me that if it wasn't for his love of Jesus, he'd be out r**ing and murdering people.
Text message “either you’re dead or ignoring me, I hope for my sake it’s the former”.
That some women shouldn’t have arms, legs or a head. We are not friends anymore. He is a nurse… and anti-vax…….
He was getting handsy while I said "no" several times. I said "if you aren't going to respect my boundaries then you're going to have to leave." He said "oh yeah?" and laughed. Realized in that moment that nothing I said would have made him stop.
I'll probably put this more than one place. It's pretty normal to use your hands to get their hands away from you. Forget that. You won't win. While nobody really plans ahead for these things to happen, you should visualize being able to do any or all of the following, as initially icky as it may sound. Play along until you can get your hands near his face. Then poke or scratch him in the eye really hard. If he's got your shouders pinned or you are caught with your hands down, you are near their "tender bits", grab hold, don't be afraid to cause pain. This is what they wanted to do to you and this is a way to "disarm" them. After all, that's what we see about all the ball in the groin jokes or toddlers kicking, right? They'll go down and you run like hell. Should you have on heels, don't let your first thought be to run, first distract him, then crush his instep, bot is better. Kick if you can you know where. THEN run.
We were both 15, and I considered him a close friend and trusted him. We were going on a walk in the woods near my house when he pushed me to the ground from behind. I remember I was so scared and he just laughed at me and said he could do anything he wanted to do to me out here, and that no one would hear me scream. Thank God he didn’t actually do anything. I didn’t know what to do afterward and wound up acting as if nothing had happened. We stayed in the same friend group for a few more months and I never told anyone what he did until years later.
We were watching Promising Young Woman and he said "I kinda understand why the men in this movie do what they do"
He was okay with genocide. He talked in detail of how bad people of a particular religion are.
I talked to him for an hour saying that's not okay. His final statement was how pure and innocent I am. That I don't know how the world works.
I said okay and haven't spoken to him over an year. He said he shouldn't have that to me and costed our friendship. Even now, he is sorry he told me not that he is okay with murder of innocent people.
Depression has given me quite a few aggressive thoughts, but never against innocents
“If I can’t have you I don’t want nobody else.” “Why don’t you kiss me? You’re so boring, all my other female friends do it?!” several times After I did it, “Well that was funny memory to look back on.” (For who? Because it was disgusting to me) “I want you to have my baby, I don’t care about your future partner.” “Why don’t you like me? I’m such a gentleman.” “Oh yeah remember when you were asleep outside, you were so good and tight…..naw I was just joking.” “If I can’t have you, nobody else can.”
All of this was way before he started stalking me.
Not to mention after he started stalking me.
“You’re so small, I could overpower you and do whatever I wanted so easily” I was like 18 and my jaw just dropped. He tried to play it off as the world’s worst joke but we didn’t talk after that.
I'm so sorry that happened. What an absolute f ucking s hithead... I'm glad you stopped talking to him.
He was trying to force me into holding his hand and I was fighting it when he said "I wouldn't do that if I were you, do you see how easy it would be to break your wrist?"
“You’re lucky we haven’t had sex yet because my patience is growing thin.”
“I thought we were friends I thought you were cool” After refusing to have sex with him
Had a lot of scary things said to me but the one I can think of on top of my head is my freshman year of high school. I was 14 or 15 yrs old and he is 3 years older than me. He said "you're not girlfriend material but we can have sex". I had a crush on him at that time and since he said that I never saw him the same and all interest that I had previously in him died.
Weirdly enough we still remain contact/friends because we are both Ukrainian and the Ukrainian community here is close.
What an as$hole. Why he thinks of himself too high to tell her that?
"Let me show you something" and then proceeds to show me his peen. No thank you.
He had urges to murder drunk people. Seeing drunk people made him so angry he fantasied about killing them because being drunk is so awful. He promised he hadn’t felt the urges in like 2 years.
I was freshly 21 and TERRIFIED to leave, so when I brought up leaving he would say things like “I’m gonna buy a ticket to Japan and ghost everyone for months if I lose you” and start looking at flights obviously. It took like another 6 months to get the nerve to actually leave. I don’t mean like intrusive thoughts- he explained very thoroughly what he meant. He was the nicest “straight edge good guy” in the friend group so I knew no one would believe me.
My current bf has never had murder fantasies which is a nice change of pace.
"It's kinda hot that you look so young. You're so little, I feel like I'd break you. You're like a legal loli."
I was barely 18 and he was 25. I never dated him, either. Dude also lied to me about having a party with friends at his place as a ploy to get me to come there alone at night.
That when he was homeless, starving, and living in a tent city in the woods if someone died, they would eat them.
A couple of male friends joked about who got my body after I died. ... yea....
He called me a c**k tease. He was mad that I had never looked at him as a person to date or a sexual partner. He was so mad that I 'friend-zoned' him, but I had no idea that he wanted to be more than friends. I didn't see him like that. But he saw me in short skirts, he'd come to hang out at my dorm, and he'd get mad when I'd strike up a relationship with someone else. It felt like I was being manipulated or betrayed in some way. This man was only nice to me because he wanted something. He was only my friend in hopes to trick me into a relationship or just sex.
I was 15, I think that he was 17, and a mutual friend came to me freaked on my behalf, saying he’d said he was going to 'wear me down' until I agreed to go out with him. That was the last straw for me after dealing with him for months, so I told our mutual friends that I wouldn’t be hanging out with him anymore, which they agreed with, and blocked him. Thankfully, he got the message, but he did try to get back in contact about two years later. I got the text while at a bar with a friend, and I snapped. I told him how creepy he was, how I hadn’t missed him the last two years at all, I’d basically forgotten about him and a bunch of other stuff. I never heard from him again. This is pretty tame really, but it freaked me out as I knew it wasn’t okay. 'Wear me down.' Go f**k yourself.
I know what college you go to. I will wait for you outside.
Met playing co-Ed soccer and he said “I want to have sex with you so I can get you pregnant, and then I’ll be a part of your life forever.” Wtf dude, I was 22!
That he was going to throw me out of the car and let the alligators get me. While we were driving during a hurricane in New Orleans
I am in a different country and, at that point I didn’t had familly members or a reliable support what so ever, but we were hanging out since I didn’t know a lot of people. One night he was drunk and went from a platonic conversation to “I am glad that you are not here, otherwise I would have done some bad things to you” . I was shocked and really scared after that, decided to block him everywhere and never come back
I’m pretty sure I commented this last time this question was asked, but it still gives me shivers thinking about it. But we were talking about kinks (we were just friends but were, at the time, comfortable enough to talk about that stuff). I said how I didn’t really know what mine were but I knew I definitely did NOT like the idea of being choked. In fact, any kind of suffocation in movies or shows freaks me out so deeply that I have to close my eyes and cover my ears until it’s over. He knew this. We’d had conversations about it before. But that day he said “what if you sleep with someone and they don’t know that?” So I said obviously I’d tell them. And then he said “what if they pressed too hard and you couldn’t tell them?”
Like. Why is that in any way an okay thing to say/ ask? No.
In high school i was s*xually harassed by this guy a couple years younger than me and my guy friend who was in my grade said he wanted to talk to the guy who had harassed and threatened me to “see how he thinks,” and could not see for a long time why that made me so uncomfortable and upset.
Groomed me and told me he wanted me to treat/refer to him as a god
"I could dissolve you with this acid haha" chemistry was never my favourite class, turns out this guy had a crush on me and i cut the contact
"You're so skinny, I feel like I could just break you in half!"
Dude had some other issues, we're not friends anymore.
My best friend told me he's eaten human flesh. He was part of a rough crowd in his early years. Wasn't till after he'd eaten it they told him what it really was was a human cheek. Said it tasted like pork just a bit more chewy.
"I have cancer"
Oh. Not the same type of scary as the rest, but it's sad. I remember how much I panicked when my dad said he had a cancerous mole that he got removed. I freaked out, because what if it HADN'T been noticed? What would've happened then? I hope your friend is alright now. P.S. My dad is fine.
"you're lucky you're dressed"
Not exactly scary but it freeeaaaked me out.
"We should've ended up married"
Me: "It wouldn't have worked, we want different things. I don't ever want kids, I plan on getting fixed, and I know you do. That would've ruined whatever we have going for us."
"I'm serious, marry me and my insurance will cover that operation! I have really good insurance and make good money, it would be so easy. I don't know if I even want kids anymore because of hers."
He was already in another relationship he refused to leave so I don't know what the hell he was thinking lol
This was the day after I drunkenly said we'd be a power couple because our majors in college complemented each other well to start a business.
"I went on a break with my girlfriend so we could try dating to see if it works"
"Just kiss me once, if there's no spark I'll stop bringing up the idea of us dating"
"I need to go to Jerusalem, I'm the missing link"
Okay, I understood what was going on up until the last sentence...
I love you. The friendship was sadly over the moment he confessed.
He said "he was racing so he could die and wanted me to save him from his habit?!!"
He was a biker and used to do illegal street races.
And this was when we were planning our first date!
looked me dead in the eye, very intoxicated on mardis gras a few years ago and told me “i need help.”
Without context this could also be seen as a cry for help.. literally.. umm..
"I'm not really a big fan of pizza."
dude had been my friend for years. tried to politely ask me out and i said i didn't see him like that. tone switched real quick. started shouting that he set me up with enough guys he knew would reject me. i should feel vulnerable enough to sleep with him by now. he had, indeed, just set me up with a friend who'd turned me down. i told him that was really crappy of him and he told me no one besides him will ever put up with my anxiety disorder or bother approaching me because of my weight. i haven't spoken to him in 10 years. it really messed me up. still don't really date.
A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person.
Let's be clear: in today's world there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell that these guys haven't heard that and why all this is unacceptable. They know. And they still do it. And their male friends let them. All the talk about 'teaching them about consent' - no. They know. They just don't care, neither do their enablers.
Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture.
My colleague, a professor with whom we were on friendly terms and first name basis, once stated in a very jolly tone that he hates it when his wife cries in front of him and that he feels like slapping her when it happens. At an international conference in front of other professors and researchers from our community, many of whom were female of course.
I never will understand, why some guys are so scared of woman/ girls- they have to possess/ humilate/ haunt us just to feel mightier Stop the hell to get so fragile about your masculinity so we can feel safe again.
We aren't raising our young men well enough. We allow them to think the most horrifying things without correcting them and we STILL have this who thing about 'boys will be boys' We need to start VERY early teaching them about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour and about WHY that is. There's WAY too much of this. I know men will say 'not all men...' but how is anyone meant to know WHICH men..
Certain people should be locked up and kept away from the rest of society, I'm starting to believe.
I have an ex friend who is basically a sex pest. I've literally had to drag him away from women he's been harassing by the scruff of his neck (apologising to the woman simultaneously). He has mental health problems & he thinks he's God's gift to women despite having the looks & personality of a stillborn turd. He's the kind of person who would take advantage of a drunk/incapacitated woman without a second thought. Luckily he never leaves his house much anymore & his looks/personality prevent any woman getting close to him. I'm no longer his friend, he's done nothing I can get him arrested for (which I would have done at the drop of a hat) but the urge to beat the everloving s**t out of him was becoming too much. I only remained his 'friend' to keep an eye on his behaviour but I could only tolerate so much. If I stayed in contact with him, it would be ME who got arrested, yet he's allowed to continue behaving the way he does because he's dismissed as "harmless" due to mental health.
I've had male friends interested in more. Two had crushes on me and were sweet about it. We stayed on good terms. I even gave one dating advice because I felt he'd make a very good boyfriend for someone else (my advice worked - I'm very happy for him and his wife). The third was crude to me and married at the time. I dumped him.
I was SA'd multiple times as a child. I was afraid of men for the longest time. I was weary of every man my mother would date, my fathers friends, even school mates. It ruined my vision of se*/making love/affection and how it should really be with a spouse. Ruined my first marriage and had trouble in my 2nd (current). I have a daughter now and PRAY that I can teach her to watch out for clues, red flags, etc so she never goes through anything I went through. I will teach my son to always respect women and to NEVER even joke about things like this. I am sorry for all the women in this thread who have had to experience SA. :(
I have a creepy experience with a guy. We were both minors at the time. I had a crush on him, and he had one on me. He once said "I want to have 12 children. We're going to f**k everyday until we do." then went back to eating. I was disgusted and quickly cut ALL ties with him.
This is why my mother carries to this day a grapefruit spoon in her purse. If asked why she took out someone's eyeballs with it, she can say she wanted to match the set of flatware at the store.
I've heard men literally bragging about scaring women by following them and how fun it was to make them terrified and paranoid. It made me both sick and furious. Dudes, this is a good way to get shot by a woman who has had one encounter too many and gets a license to carry. You think it's funny to scare women, but women legitimately fear for their lives when you do this and eventually, one of them WILL resort to (potentially lethal) force to protect themselves. Sure they MAY say 'I was in fear for my life" and get off with nothing or a light sentence. Sure they MAY go to jail for a long time. But you and your "hurr hurr dis iz funny" self is still either severely injured or dead. This is NOT funny. This is NOT a joke.
You know, back in high school sex ed they had us to go through a segment on how to behave on a date. As I was still being forced to pretend I was a guy, I got the guy one. And I was genuinely horrified at the options presented. The fact that anyone would choose any of the ones besides "be a decent human being and respect her" was something I could not even fathom. I genuinely thought those were joke answers. How naive I was... I wonder now what the version they showed my presenting-female classmates was like. Probably mostly "don't do these things or the guy will think you're telling them you want to have sex with them"...
I'm of an older generation. A guy I dated who would be in his 80s now would often say "Old enough to bleed; old enough to slaughter".
My then-boyfriend told me he wanted to get me so drunk, he could have sex with me and I wouldn't even know it was happening. When I told him that was rape, and that it would involve being so drunk, I'd have alcohol poisoning (at the very least), he got angry and defensive with me. Year's later, he tried to date rape one of his female friends.
Some dude once asked me to sell my Chinese friend to them. Was the weirdest f*****g thing ever, we went home immediately after that.
*TRIGGER WARNING* I opened up to my (male) friend about my r@pe experience that happened when I was 12, and the first thing he asked "How big was his penis?" -_-
I want to be a teacher when I'm older, and I love being around little kids now, just because I love introducing new things to people and explaining things, and little kids are still so new to the world. Well I have one friend who knows this and for a few weeks every couple of mornings he would "joke" about how I was gonna grow up to be a pedophile and kept making pedophile jokes, and I just kinda said "No I'm not" every morning, until after a few weeks I got tired of it and told him to stop it because those kinds of jokes are never funny, they're not even jokes, and that I'd completely stop talking to him if he kept it up. He stopped, but I don't think he fully gets it yet.
If these posts are true, and I have no reason to believe they are not, as a man, I am sickened by these statements. We need to consider laws that clearly criminalize such statements...they are only a blink away from sexual assault. The creatures making these statements cannot be considered men....but only male vertebrates, who must be culled.
My friend of 8 years told me that he wanted to kill me because life was hell and he wanted to kill everyone he loved to release them from hell. But he said he was selfish and wouldn't do it because then he would miss them. He was dead serious. This happened as I was trying to keep him from leaving my apartment drunk so he wouldn't drive drunk. After he said that, I let him go. He did drive home and got into an argument with his Mom and slapped her. Very sweet woman. 13 years later, he messaged me on Facebook out of the blue saying I needed to die and he could make it happen if I wanted - I don't remember exactly how he phrased it. He had very serious mental issues. The biggest surprise of my personal life is that he never went to jail. Even his best friend of 13 years cut him off and told me to never have anything to do with him (shortly before the incident). He would never tell me why. Just said he was dangerous.
I wish I could round up these men and sentence them to varying degrees of punishment ranging from locked in a room for a few years with nothing but a toilet, bucket of water & soap to wash every few days & two meals a day delivered through a cat flap to taking them out to a field & shooting them in the head. There’s so many of these individuals out there it makes my blood boil, they will assume if a woman is single & they like her that automatically means she must say yes to go out with them, or if they’re nice to the woman, that means again go out with me, women need to be attracted to a man first in most cases & in most cases the men are turned down because … she doesn’t find you attractive douche bag, the fact some men are approaching or talking about children on some of the posts is disturbing af.
I've had multiple men make sexual comments about me. Most of the men I've ever met just wanted me for my body
So many.... I had to stop after a while, because I can feel this murderous rage growing inside me and I really don't want to let it go out of hand. I'm at an age where I usually don't face this stuff any more and thanks to some good self-defence classes I got very few of these interludes when I was young. I want to kill these sexist pos because they are the reason our world is so fcked up - and I think they can sense it and stay away.
A friend of my boyfriend (who I actually hit it off with) told me "it's only rape if it's done with violence". I don't per se believe he ever assaulted any one, and he didn't realise I have experienced rape "in the grey zone" but it's a terrifying confirmation that many men (and women still) don't think of something as rape unless someone is dragged into an alley at knifepoint. You can read it in many of the stories here too. Like, how many friends has he allowed to get away with taking advantage of a drunk woman and such.
My god.... the sheer amount of men who obsess over how easy it could be to seriously harm / kill a woman in A LOT of these is completely terrifying. I am scared for my little girl growing up in this sick world. I will be teaching her about creeps like this though, no daughter of mine will go out with no knowledge of the world.
In High School, in my creative writing class we had a group assignment. These guys I thought were my friends, and who I hung out with in class decided to group together. They wrote about taking me and raping me. They read it out loud to the class. I was terrified and felt violated. The teacher said nothing, the others in class said nothing, so I accepted that it was alright and that I was over-reacting. I know now that it was messed up as all hell and that I was not over reacting. I pushed down my feeling at the time and continued to interact with them despite that. I just have this horrifying fear that because I let it go I enabled them to continue their behavior and opened them up for potential escalation. The truth is that the whole class did.
He didn't say it to me but to everyone in the room. Friend (16M) said "I could do her" while looking at my other friend's little sister (9). Her brother just stopped talking and stared at the wall while my SO and I just stared at each other in shock. He tried to laugh it off as a joke but no one bought it.
A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person.
Let's be clear: in today's world there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell that these guys haven't heard that and why all this is unacceptable. They know. And they still do it. And their male friends let them. All the talk about 'teaching them about consent' - no. They know. They just don't care, neither do their enablers.
Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture.
My colleague, a professor with whom we were on friendly terms and first name basis, once stated in a very jolly tone that he hates it when his wife cries in front of him and that he feels like slapping her when it happens. At an international conference in front of other professors and researchers from our community, many of whom were female of course.
I never will understand, why some guys are so scared of woman/ girls- they have to possess/ humilate/ haunt us just to feel mightier Stop the hell to get so fragile about your masculinity so we can feel safe again.
We aren't raising our young men well enough. We allow them to think the most horrifying things without correcting them and we STILL have this who thing about 'boys will be boys' We need to start VERY early teaching them about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour and about WHY that is. There's WAY too much of this. I know men will say 'not all men...' but how is anyone meant to know WHICH men..
Certain people should be locked up and kept away from the rest of society, I'm starting to believe.
I have an ex friend who is basically a sex pest. I've literally had to drag him away from women he's been harassing by the scruff of his neck (apologising to the woman simultaneously). He has mental health problems & he thinks he's God's gift to women despite having the looks & personality of a stillborn turd. He's the kind of person who would take advantage of a drunk/incapacitated woman without a second thought. Luckily he never leaves his house much anymore & his looks/personality prevent any woman getting close to him. I'm no longer his friend, he's done nothing I can get him arrested for (which I would have done at the drop of a hat) but the urge to beat the everloving s**t out of him was becoming too much. I only remained his 'friend' to keep an eye on his behaviour but I could only tolerate so much. If I stayed in contact with him, it would be ME who got arrested, yet he's allowed to continue behaving the way he does because he's dismissed as "harmless" due to mental health.
I've had male friends interested in more. Two had crushes on me and were sweet about it. We stayed on good terms. I even gave one dating advice because I felt he'd make a very good boyfriend for someone else (my advice worked - I'm very happy for him and his wife). The third was crude to me and married at the time. I dumped him.
I was SA'd multiple times as a child. I was afraid of men for the longest time. I was weary of every man my mother would date, my fathers friends, even school mates. It ruined my vision of se*/making love/affection and how it should really be with a spouse. Ruined my first marriage and had trouble in my 2nd (current). I have a daughter now and PRAY that I can teach her to watch out for clues, red flags, etc so she never goes through anything I went through. I will teach my son to always respect women and to NEVER even joke about things like this. I am sorry for all the women in this thread who have had to experience SA. :(
I have a creepy experience with a guy. We were both minors at the time. I had a crush on him, and he had one on me. He once said "I want to have 12 children. We're going to f**k everyday until we do." then went back to eating. I was disgusted and quickly cut ALL ties with him.
This is why my mother carries to this day a grapefruit spoon in her purse. If asked why she took out someone's eyeballs with it, she can say she wanted to match the set of flatware at the store.
I've heard men literally bragging about scaring women by following them and how fun it was to make them terrified and paranoid. It made me both sick and furious. Dudes, this is a good way to get shot by a woman who has had one encounter too many and gets a license to carry. You think it's funny to scare women, but women legitimately fear for their lives when you do this and eventually, one of them WILL resort to (potentially lethal) force to protect themselves. Sure they MAY say 'I was in fear for my life" and get off with nothing or a light sentence. Sure they MAY go to jail for a long time. But you and your "hurr hurr dis iz funny" self is still either severely injured or dead. This is NOT funny. This is NOT a joke.
You know, back in high school sex ed they had us to go through a segment on how to behave on a date. As I was still being forced to pretend I was a guy, I got the guy one. And I was genuinely horrified at the options presented. The fact that anyone would choose any of the ones besides "be a decent human being and respect her" was something I could not even fathom. I genuinely thought those were joke answers. How naive I was... I wonder now what the version they showed my presenting-female classmates was like. Probably mostly "don't do these things or the guy will think you're telling them you want to have sex with them"...
I'm of an older generation. A guy I dated who would be in his 80s now would often say "Old enough to bleed; old enough to slaughter".
My then-boyfriend told me he wanted to get me so drunk, he could have sex with me and I wouldn't even know it was happening. When I told him that was rape, and that it would involve being so drunk, I'd have alcohol poisoning (at the very least), he got angry and defensive with me. Year's later, he tried to date rape one of his female friends.
Some dude once asked me to sell my Chinese friend to them. Was the weirdest f*****g thing ever, we went home immediately after that.
*TRIGGER WARNING* I opened up to my (male) friend about my r@pe experience that happened when I was 12, and the first thing he asked "How big was his penis?" -_-
I want to be a teacher when I'm older, and I love being around little kids now, just because I love introducing new things to people and explaining things, and little kids are still so new to the world. Well I have one friend who knows this and for a few weeks every couple of mornings he would "joke" about how I was gonna grow up to be a pedophile and kept making pedophile jokes, and I just kinda said "No I'm not" every morning, until after a few weeks I got tired of it and told him to stop it because those kinds of jokes are never funny, they're not even jokes, and that I'd completely stop talking to him if he kept it up. He stopped, but I don't think he fully gets it yet.
If these posts are true, and I have no reason to believe they are not, as a man, I am sickened by these statements. We need to consider laws that clearly criminalize such statements...they are only a blink away from sexual assault. The creatures making these statements cannot be considered men....but only male vertebrates, who must be culled.
My friend of 8 years told me that he wanted to kill me because life was hell and he wanted to kill everyone he loved to release them from hell. But he said he was selfish and wouldn't do it because then he would miss them. He was dead serious. This happened as I was trying to keep him from leaving my apartment drunk so he wouldn't drive drunk. After he said that, I let him go. He did drive home and got into an argument with his Mom and slapped her. Very sweet woman. 13 years later, he messaged me on Facebook out of the blue saying I needed to die and he could make it happen if I wanted - I don't remember exactly how he phrased it. He had very serious mental issues. The biggest surprise of my personal life is that he never went to jail. Even his best friend of 13 years cut him off and told me to never have anything to do with him (shortly before the incident). He would never tell me why. Just said he was dangerous.
I wish I could round up these men and sentence them to varying degrees of punishment ranging from locked in a room for a few years with nothing but a toilet, bucket of water & soap to wash every few days & two meals a day delivered through a cat flap to taking them out to a field & shooting them in the head. There’s so many of these individuals out there it makes my blood boil, they will assume if a woman is single & they like her that automatically means she must say yes to go out with them, or if they’re nice to the woman, that means again go out with me, women need to be attracted to a man first in most cases & in most cases the men are turned down because … she doesn’t find you attractive douche bag, the fact some men are approaching or talking about children on some of the posts is disturbing af.
I've had multiple men make sexual comments about me. Most of the men I've ever met just wanted me for my body
So many.... I had to stop after a while, because I can feel this murderous rage growing inside me and I really don't want to let it go out of hand. I'm at an age where I usually don't face this stuff any more and thanks to some good self-defence classes I got very few of these interludes when I was young. I want to kill these sexist pos because they are the reason our world is so fcked up - and I think they can sense it and stay away.
A friend of my boyfriend (who I actually hit it off with) told me "it's only rape if it's done with violence". I don't per se believe he ever assaulted any one, and he didn't realise I have experienced rape "in the grey zone" but it's a terrifying confirmation that many men (and women still) don't think of something as rape unless someone is dragged into an alley at knifepoint. You can read it in many of the stories here too. Like, how many friends has he allowed to get away with taking advantage of a drunk woman and such.
My god.... the sheer amount of men who obsess over how easy it could be to seriously harm / kill a woman in A LOT of these is completely terrifying. I am scared for my little girl growing up in this sick world. I will be teaching her about creeps like this though, no daughter of mine will go out with no knowledge of the world.
In High School, in my creative writing class we had a group assignment. These guys I thought were my friends, and who I hung out with in class decided to group together. They wrote about taking me and raping me. They read it out loud to the class. I was terrified and felt violated. The teacher said nothing, the others in class said nothing, so I accepted that it was alright and that I was over-reacting. I know now that it was messed up as all hell and that I was not over reacting. I pushed down my feeling at the time and continued to interact with them despite that. I just have this horrifying fear that because I let it go I enabled them to continue their behavior and opened them up for potential escalation. The truth is that the whole class did.
He didn't say it to me but to everyone in the room. Friend (16M) said "I could do her" while looking at my other friend's little sister (9). Her brother just stopped talking and stared at the wall while my SO and I just stared at each other in shock. He tried to laugh it off as a joke but no one bought it.
