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Insults – we've all heard them and maybe even dished them out ourselves. They're like a verbal battlefield where words become weapons. But here's the thing: some insults are more than just a slap on the ego; they're pure poetry in put-down form.

Enter the “Rare Insults” X account. With more than 1.5 million followers, it's the go-to spot for the wittiest and most jaw-dropping linguistic maestros on the internet.

We've rounded up the crème de la crème of these verbal fireworks for your amusement. So, continue scrolling and let us know which ones tickled your funny bone. And hey, if you're still hungry for more, we've got you covered. Check out Bored Panda's earlier dose of insult madness – because who doesn't love a good laugh?

When it comes to humor, clever insults can often walk a fine line between being perceived as playful banter and crossing into the territory of cruelty. People often use witty and sharp-tongued remarks in comedy, but can we do it without being unkind? To learn more about witty and clever insults, Bored Panda reached out to Nigel Barber, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist and the writer of “Kindness In A Cruel World.”

Some friends often playfully tease each other with insults that don't come across as mean-spirited. According to Nigel Barber, in that context, an insult is accepted as a witty remark. “It can be quite different if we are interacting with a stranger whose insults may be perceived as unfriendly and even malicious. You need to know what is acceptable speech for a particular setting, context, and group of acquaintances.”

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When we chat online, it's easy for jokes and playful words to accidentally hurt someone's feelings. How can we then have fun with clever remarks and wordplay while still being nice to each other? “In the real world, it is easy to see when we have crossed the line because the other person's hurt expression becomes clear and we have a chance to backtrack, or qualify, our remarks, or to soften them with a lighter joke.  In the context of online interactions, it is much riskier at least if we are relying mainly on text,” Barber explained. When we write something online, it's permanent, and there's always someone ready to criticize us or even cancel us.

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Daria
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, glasses are great, and sunglasses are literally the symbol of "cool" 😎

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In today's digital world, insults often come in the form of written words, like messages or comments. But here's the thing: when we can't see someone's face or hear their tone, it can change how we understand and feel about those insults. “Communications experts believe that most of our communications are nonverbal so that a medium that cuts off the nonverbal puts us at a real disadvantage,” Barber shared. “We cannot disparage our own statements with a shrug, or a laugh. The bottom line is that we should really be much more cautious in online communications. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be how most people communicate online, which may be one reason why there is so much friction and unpleasantness,” the professor added.

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SheamusFanFrom1987
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How... do you even get into that many car accidents, let alone in a single year? "-_-

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It’s important to mention that, in today's digital age, the impact of insults, especially when they find their way online and go viral, can be devastating for some people. Nigel Barber shared that crushing insults can dent one’s confidence and impinge on their happiness. “Clinical psychologists report that there is a huge increase in anxiety and depression, particularly among young people, during the Internet Age. Teenagers seem to be most affected due to (a) the fact that they are extensive users of social media and (b) that they do not have the maturity to cope with online insults.”

The best way of coping with insults, according to Barber, is probably to take a break from the platforms that are causing distress for some time. “This helps to establish a little distance from them and to regain a better sense of control over one's own life. This might involve spending time in the actual company of friends, doing something that provides a sense of creativity or mastery, or simply spending time exploring the wonders of nature.”

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Cara G
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And they are all thinking, "JFC put that hair UP before you get scalped, lady!"

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We asked Barber if social norms around insults and offensive language have shifted in recent years. He shared that some people like to say that the world is becoming ruder, but there have always been plenty of unkind comments. “Look at William Shakespeare who liked to have his characters engage in duels of insults. What has really changed is that social media are run by algorithms that maximize engagement. Since hatred increases engagement, this means that nastiness comes to the fore. Communications that express real hostility are promoted in a business model that monetizes hatred.   Hence the rise of nasty insults online and of the people who put them out there.”

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Zephyr
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

O.P. certainly should use a condom so as not to spread such stupidity

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DC
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... and that careless douche even killed all the other animals as well. I can understand that humans, in total, do suck big time, but do cats, do crows, do spiders? None of them! They're all precious living beings, and yet, the god humans invented only cares about hum - nevermind, my mistake, got it. Whatever it is, if you can't degod it, leave it behind, and if you can, do.

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Carlo Gennaro
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(Job)Why would people worship an entity that tortures others as part of a bet/game? Why would people worship an entity that would create a system of justice that mandated its faultless child (Jesus) be brutally murdered so it could forgive other people's sins? I have never required an innocent anyone to be murdered in order for me to forgive them. What kind of scary being do masochistic people worship?

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Mini grizzly
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's not forget that he made a bet on Job's life with the devil, just because Job was loyal to god... His whole family has been killed, his animals, servants too, and he himself got so sick that his wife was begging him to die ( which was pretty shty from her btw) so there's that...yah

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Libstak
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden for eating a piece of fruit

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Frank Russell
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was quite young I was told that god was all that: You know, omnipotent, etc. When I was told about Noah and the flood I immediately thought, "If god is so perfect why would he need to flush everything down the toilet and start over?" And that was the end of me believing religion's lies.

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Some_rando
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BECAUSE WE SINNED!! AND TURNED AWAY FROM HIM!! SO ACTUALLY ITS OUR FAULT IN HAPPENED. PLUS IT WAS ALL PART OF HIS PLAN TO SHOW HIS GLORY IN THE END

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Paul Richards
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God doesn't cancel people because its fictional. That's as stupid as saying fairies cancels people

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Carl
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought fairies liked to kidnap children? Most mythological critters did that, from what I recall. It's a lot easier than admitting "Little Timmy ran off into the forest and I couldn't find him. Sorry LOL I was just so drunk." It's interesting to think about how much of our mythology is people, usually high-ranking, just lying to cover their butts.

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Major Harris
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and don't forget that ONLY noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives were spared! so, the whole human race is descended from good old fashioned country cousin' lovin! and, most likely, some brother/sister action as well due to the lack of out side partners!

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Dan Flo
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then what the heck was that thing with all the first born in Egypt? Retroactive abortion? And I'm pretty sure Adam and Eve got banned from Eden...

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Niki A
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That wasn't a cancellation... that was a reboot with some returning characters.

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, the whole you need to brutally kill rape victims thing seems pretty cancelly.. Deut.22: v28-29.. and eternal damnation because you didn't Correctly love the thing that invented pain for no reason is very cancel... A perfect being that has literal conditional love, i feel like worshippers of Abrahamic god are experiencing battered wife syndrome. there's just so much more... .. if i was god's boss he'd be fired.. " what do you mean you invented sin but won't clear people of it until you become your own son and Have to be killed,? what a weird way of doing things".-------------------- " Christianity is Stupid" - Negativland

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Steve Robert
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Think it's the time for another flood. And with the ice packs melting, this time God doesn't have to do a thing!

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whineygingercat
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, Lot's DAUGHTERS got their dad drunk and had marital relations with him. I'm not so sure Lot even knew WHAT was going on.

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The Shark
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No wonder the world is so royally fcuked up. Wiped out the world and set every creature up for success with inbreeding.

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Aria Gane
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And by all of humanity, she means people who were living in that region at the time. Nowhere else around the world has a flood at that time recorded.

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Margaret Weaver
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love this. "god doesn't cancel people, cancer does". Very "guns don't kill people, apes with guns kill people"

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Doug Bailey
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7 months ago

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David Bolender
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God is a man? With a d**k and everything? Balls? An inability to connect? Parallel park a car? Screw up household projects? Flood my a*s.

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Gabriele Alfredo Pini
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thankfully it is a legend and most Christians believe (or should believe, if they read the updates log) so

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The Original Bruno
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...and created a rainbow in the heavens as an oath that he would never again do so. Damn, Dana, if you're gonna be smart-mouthing about God and the bible, at least have a nursery-school picture-book's knowledge of them, huh?

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jiajun xiao
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7 months ago

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Stop saying God blah blah blah the Bible is clearly a metaphor

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DC
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now wait a few seconds here ... you get that. Many believers get that, too. I get that, everybody COULD get that, but ... but it is not what the bible itself claims to be. It's claim is that it's the genuine thoughts of god, written by humans, but written on his behalf regardless. All the interpretations that, basically, contain humanist ideas and concepts, but link them to any god (it's not really important if we call that masochistic demon "Jahwe" or "Allah" or make up a new name for it) deceive themselves. These are not the contents of the bible, nor does the bible provide any path in that direction that may have made contributions to the time of its origin, but it's blatant disbelief! I never got why any interpretation that may be considered good by today's standard should be considered the right one, while any one that may be considered bad is wrong, is abuse, is a misrepresentation. The god of the currently most fashionable monotheist religions is a massive AH for several reasons, including many of the orders given out in times before knowledge, but obeyed today. It could, of course, be my fault not to get it, but it may also be that there just isn't anything to get in the first place. Failing to see the good in god's promise to make unbelievers burn forever, simply because the evidence is below weak - to say the least and most polite -, not because they did any harm to anybody ... while doing harm to many people, animals, environments, for selfish reasons or just to punish the unbelievers, is accepted, forgiven, praised or even declared necessary by this oh-so-good god, lord, chancellor of the heavens ... whatever you call him, just don't call him nice. He isn't.

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hitex
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He ain't wrong to certain extent. But gotta find new adventures!

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hitex
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman is wasting her time - people gonna say what people gonna say

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DC
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HAHAHAHAHA - WITH STRINGS, HAHAHA, GUITARHAHA, WITH STRINGS HAHA...

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hitex
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How long they date depends on whether that's a reasonable answer

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Hawkmoon
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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did a fast research on google and a C-Major on piano is three white keys, for those who wonder.

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