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Insults – we've all heard them and maybe even dished them out ourselves. They're like a verbal battlefield where words become weapons. But here's the thing: some insults are more than just a slap on the ego; they're pure poetry in put-down form.
Enter the “Rare Insults” X account. With more than 1.5 million followers, it's the go-to spot for the wittiest and most jaw-dropping linguistic maestros on the internet.
We've rounded up the crème de la crème of these verbal fireworks for your amusement. So, continue scrolling and let us know which ones tickled your funny bone. And hey, if you're still hungry for more, we've got you covered. Check out Bored Panda's earlier dose of insult madness – because who doesn't love a good laugh?
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When it comes to humor, clever insults can often walk a fine line between being perceived as playful banter and crossing into the territory of cruelty. People often use witty and sharp-tongued remarks in comedy, but can we do it without being unkind? To learn more about witty and clever insults, Bored Panda reached out to Nigel Barber, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist and the writer of “Kindness In A Cruel World.”
Some friends often playfully tease each other with insults that don't come across as mean-spirited. According to Nigel Barber, in that context, an insult is accepted as a witty remark. “It can be quite different if we are interacting with a stranger whose insults may be perceived as unfriendly and even malicious. You need to know what is acceptable speech for a particular setting, context, and group of acquaintances.”
When we chat online, it's easy for jokes and playful words to accidentally hurt someone's feelings. How can we then have fun with clever remarks and wordplay while still being nice to each other? “In the real world, it is easy to see when we have crossed the line because the other person's hurt expression becomes clear and we have a chance to backtrack, or qualify, our remarks, or to soften them with a lighter joke. In the context of online interactions, it is much riskier at least if we are relying mainly on text,” Barber explained. When we write something online, it's permanent, and there's always someone ready to criticize us or even cancel us.
In today's digital world, insults often come in the form of written words, like messages or comments. But here's the thing: when we can't see someone's face or hear their tone, it can change how we understand and feel about those insults. “Communications experts believe that most of our communications are nonverbal so that a medium that cuts off the nonverbal puts us at a real disadvantage,” Barber shared. “We cannot disparage our own statements with a shrug, or a laugh. The bottom line is that we should really be much more cautious in online communications. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be how most people communicate online, which may be one reason why there is so much friction and unpleasantness,” the professor added.
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SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
How... do you even get into that many car accidents, let alone in a single year? "-_-
It’s important to mention that, in today's digital age, the impact of insults, especially when they find their way online and go viral, can be devastating for some people. Nigel Barber shared that crushing insults can dent one’s confidence and impinge on their happiness. “Clinical psychologists report that there is a huge increase in anxiety and depression, particularly among young people, during the Internet Age. Teenagers seem to be most affected due to (a) the fact that they are extensive users of social media and (b) that they do not have the maturity to cope with online insults.”
The best way of coping with insults, according to Barber, is probably to take a break from the platforms that are causing distress for some time. “This helps to establish a little distance from them and to regain a better sense of control over one's own life. This might involve spending time in the actual company of friends, doing something that provides a sense of creativity or mastery, or simply spending time exploring the wonders of nature.”
We asked Barber if social norms around insults and offensive language have shifted in recent years. He shared that some people like to say that the world is becoming ruder, but there have always been plenty of unkind comments. “Look at William Shakespeare who liked to have his characters engage in duels of insults. What has really changed is that social media are run by algorithms that maximize engagement. Since hatred increases engagement, this means that nastiness comes to the fore. Communications that express real hostility are promoted in a business model that monetizes hatred. Hence the rise of nasty insults online and of the people who put them out there.”
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Christopher Bowers 2 years ago
Im 36, she would probably say I am useless with 3 years experience.
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DC 2 years ago
... and that careless douche even killed all the other animals as well. I can understand that humans, in total, do suck big time, but do cats, do crows, do spiders? None of them! They're all precious living beings, and yet, the god humans invented only cares about hum - nevermind, my mistake, got it. Whatever it is, if you can't degod it, leave it behind, and if you can, do.
Carlo Gennaro 2 years ago
(Job)Why would people worship an entity that tortures others as part of a bet/game? Why would people worship an entity that would create a system of justice that mandated its faultless child (Jesus) be brutally murdered so it could forgive other people's sins? I have never required an innocent anyone to be murdered in order for me to forgive them. What kind of scary being do masochistic people worship?
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Mini grizzly 2 years ago (edited)
Let's not forget that he made a bet on Job's life with the devil, just because Job was loyal to god... His whole family has been killed, his animals, servants too, and he himself got so sick that his wife was begging him to die ( which was pretty shty from her btw) so there's that...yah
Frank Russell 2 years ago
When I was quite young I was told that god was all that: You know, omnipotent, etc. When I was told about Noah and the flood I immediately thought, "If god is so perfect why would he need to flush everything down the toilet and start over?" And that was the end of me believing religion's lies.
Some_rando 2 years ago
BECAUSE WE SINNED!! AND TURNED AWAY FROM HIM!! SO ACTUALLY ITS OUR FAULT IN HAPPENED. PLUS IT WAS ALL PART OF HIS PLAN TO SHOW HIS GLORY IN THE END
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Paul Richards 2 years ago
God doesn't cancel people because its fictional. That's as stupid as saying fairies cancels people
Carl 2 years ago
I thought fairies liked to kidnap children? Most mythological critters did that, from what I recall. It's a lot easier than admitting "Little Timmy ran off into the forest and I couldn't find him. Sorry LOL I was just so drunk." It's interesting to think about how much of our mythology is people, usually high-ranking, just lying to cover their butts.
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Major Harris 2 years ago
and don't forget that ONLY noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives were spared! so, the whole human race is descended from good old fashioned country cousin' lovin! and, most likely, some brother/sister action as well due to the lack of out side partners!
whineygingercat 2 years ago
I was just going to say that. Destroyed two entire cities when He got sick of their behavior and vices.
Load More Replies... Steve Robert 2 years ago
Think it's the time for another flood. And with the ice packs melting, this time God doesn't have to do a thing!
whineygingercat 2 years ago
No, Lot's DAUGHTERS got their dad drunk and had marital relations with him. I'm not so sure Lot even knew WHAT was going on.
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Jon Steensen 1 year ago
Yeah, if you want to go with the one with the lowest kill-count, you should worship the Devil. Acoording to the bible, the Devil's kill-count is rather lame when you compare it with that of the "good God". However most "rational" Christians does not seem capable of reasoning like that.
David Bolender 2 years ago
God is a man? With a d**k and everything? Balls? An inability to connect? Parallel park a car? Screw up household projects? Flood my a*s.
Gabriele Alfredo Pini 2 years ago
Thankfully it is a legend and most Christians believe (or should believe, if they read the updates log) so
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
...and created a rainbow in the heavens as an oath that he would never again do so. Damn, Dana, if you're gonna be smart-mouthing about God and the bible, at least have a nursery-school picture-book's knowledge of them, huh?
DC 2 years ago (edited)
Now wait a few seconds here ... you get that. Many believers get that, too. I get that, everybody COULD get that, but ... but it is not what the bible itself claims to be. It's claim is that it's the genuine thoughts of god, written by humans, but written on his behalf regardless. All the interpretations that, basically, contain humanist ideas and concepts, but link them to any god (it's not really important if we call that masochistic demon "Jahwe" or "Allah" or make up a new name for it) deceive themselves. These are not the contents of the bible, nor does the bible provide any path in that direction that may have made contributions to the time of its origin, but it's blatant disbelief! I never got why any interpretation that may be considered good by today's standard should be considered the right one, while any one that may be considered bad is wrong, is abuse, is a misrepresentation. The god of the currently most fashionable monotheist religions is a massive AH for several reasons, including many of the orders given out in times before knowledge, but obeyed today. It could, of course, be my fault not to get it, but it may also be that there just isn't anything to get in the first place. Failing to see the good in god's promise to make unbelievers burn forever, simply because the evidence is below weak - to say the least and most polite -, not because they did any harm to anybody ... while doing harm to many people, animals, environments, for selfish reasons or just to punish the unbelievers, is accepted, forgiven, praised or even declared necessary by this oh-so-good god, lord, chancellor of the heavens ... whatever you call him, just don't call him nice. He isn't.
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David A Paterson 2 years ago
I'm going to have to re-evaluate my IQ. It took me 20 seconds to see that.
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DC 2 years ago
... Brother Teresa ... oh my ... oh my, I hope that now that I'm dying from laughing I won't be placed in Mother Teresa's custody. Evl Bidge, one of the worst humans to ever have lived. Pain medication would "distant people from Jesus!", therefore they weren't administered in her facilities. But when she herself suffered and died, she was given loads and loads of everything Flora and Pharma have to offer, and did not refuse it. Maybe she knew that she was closest to Jesus anyway, and didn't need that? Anyway, let's stop remembering her as somewhat good, but as the evil, self righteous crooked parasite she was.
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Jared Robinson 2 years ago
best get to churning butter afore brother zebediaha breaks out the ole witch finding boulders.
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Power puff scientist 2 years ago
i remember this one, part of the joke is missing, where it said something like theres a chance this asteroid might hit Earth on February 14th.
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