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One of the key aspects of being a modern-day human being is the concept of being antisocial. You know, hating phone calls, hating going outside, and hating dealing with difficult people (because everyone is difficult).
Well, there’s a place to celebrate this state of… being(?) and that is the Fear Of Going Out Instagram page, which is chock-full of tweets (sorry, posts) and memes all about that please leave me alone lifestyle.
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#1
Fynne 1 year ago
We feel like we have everything as humans, being the smartest species and all, but I think our self awareness comes at a cost. We have so much stress, and anxiety, and worrying, and all these darn thoughts. Maybe being a lizard wouldn’t be so bad
the dancing demon (she/her) 1 year ago
We are no where near the smartest species at all! If we were smart do you think the world would be this awful? What we are is adaptable, extremely adaptable
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Floral Pattern 1 year ago
I'd love to be a bear. Nobody gets near you, you mostly eat fruit and fish, and as a bonus you get to sleep all winter long. Perfect!
StrangeOne 1 year ago
XD I just got a humidifier for my birthday. The terrarium is coming along.
Elden Yeah 1 year ago
Nah we have what *we* think are good snacks. Birds probably think worms are good snacks. :)
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Nikki Gross 1 year ago (edited)
I think that I've become more cat like since I've been off work. I eat and snack on what I want at a variety of hours day or night. I also have a completely f****d up sleep schedule, so I basically just sleep and nap when I'm tired instead of like a normal person. Also I shower at different times day or night and thanks to my back my productivity varies on whether I'm having a good or bad day. Since I'm home 24/7 even my roommates cats have latched on to me and sleep with me all of the time instead of their humans and follow me around wherever I go. Including when I go to the bathroom or shower, I'm always accompanied by at least one cat regardless of whether they belong to me or not. In short, I'm their soft can opener that has become completely trained and assimilated to them and their ways. It's not surprising that I've become the strange looking "Mom" with opposable thumbs. 😹😸😺
RELATED:
#2
VikingAbroad 1 year ago
This is the most beautiful sentence ever. Mood poisoning, something I (h)ate 🤩🤩🤩
Lotekguy 1 year ago
You're not stealing when the object is offered freely. (I offer this bit of pedantry solely to provide an example of acts that cause mood poisoning. )
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#3
Simon Eppstein 1 year ago
I met "Frankie" the 7 mo old puppy today, his owner, some lady. Frankie is very sweet.
Kristina Pelėda 1 year ago
I met old lady, who said, she dont need no husband, because she already have curly haired guy by her side. Aka her senior dog named John.
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sturmwesen 1 year ago
"owner of..." is valid if you are talking about dog acquaintances... I know some for years without knowing their name. But it's no wonder you know the dogs names since people tend to shout them and not their own... Sure I know "Nala No" and "Finn Here" and every one knows my "Lou Spititout"
Simona M. 1 year ago
I know the names of all the dogs in my neighborhood. I know the names of exactly 3 people in my neighborhood 🤷
Tee Rat 1 year ago
Sounds like my old neighborhood. Everybody knew my dog Spinner and would throw his tennis balls for him when he brought them to the fence. I'd step outside and they'd wave at me and say goodbye to him by name
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Hilary Gilbertson 1 year ago
My husband and I are completely recognized via our dog, and we're all referred to as Doris.
Rosee_y 1 year ago
I also have place to the Labrador name "Venus - like the chocolate not the planet"
Crybabyartist 1 year ago
Of course people are asking for the extra key... so they dont get bit... HI James.. good boy... not saying thats a bad thing...
So, Fear of Going Out (also known as FOGO) is an Instagram meme page that focuses on all things antisocial. In the light sense of the word. More on that further down.
Anywho, it’s home to over 8,150 posts put up since the page’s conception in 2017. 270,000 followers tune in to the page daily for some antisocial goodness.
#4
Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago
I don't remember where, and I can't be arsed looking it up, but I heard the other day that some scientists trained some caterpillars to avoid certain smells. The butterflies that these caterpillars became continued to avoid those smells, leading the scientists to conclude that even as the caterpillars dissolved into a disgusting pile of goo and became butterflies, they retained memory!!! 🤯
VikingAbroad 1 year ago
When I am having a hard time, I put up my hammock inside, fill it with blankets and a lamp, take my book and close the zipper to the mosquito net. In that small cozy cocoon I recharge like a hibernating hedgehog - or maybe a butterfly to come.
Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
I have a soft, plush office blanket that I cocoon myself in during work hours if I'm having a very bad mental health time. Thankfully, my coworkers and superiors are very accepting of my crazy since I'm their best employee.
#5
Dnd Panda (she/her) 1 year ago
Ok I was looking at their username and I was like “cats against humanity would be a great twist on Cards Against Humanity!” IT EXISTS PEOPLE MY DAY JUST GOT 7.5x BETTER
Lunaofthenest (She/they) 1 year ago
I love "7.5x better"...a very precise amount of better. Delightful.
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Nadine Debard 1 year ago
I broke mine last year. Never could replace it. It was 30 yo.
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🦄 Unicorn Princess 1 year ago
Absolutely! I was just telling my mom that the orthopedic surgeon I see (and performing my knee replacement) looks like he is in high school.
Marie Dahme 1 year ago
My admitting doctor looked look Doogie Howser. His name I kid you not….Dr Smallwood. I have shoes older than him !
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#6
Pan Narrans 1 year ago
And that implies that there must be domesticated housewife’s out there, who were found in the wild and learned to enjoy the luxury of the soft indoor life. Is this a case of ‘if you’re cold, they are could, let them indoors’ situation, or do they take residence in your garden and can they be lured inside with gourmet food and wine? Cat dad wants to know.
totally unrelated 1 year ago
Thank you for the small video sequence my brain just created reading this. I loved it. 🫶🏻😅
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cerinamroth 1 year ago
I feel like a feral housewife. I used to be the main breadwinner and now my translation work is being done by AI, I'm bitter and stuck at home, cleaning angrily (and only very occasionally, let's be honest) and throwing things into the cooking pot while muttering like a witch saying her incantations.
pineapple87 1 year ago
Essentially, that would be the housewife that goes to work and thus resists being domesticated.
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I'll bet some housewives (a term I loathe, btw) will proudly adopt this label.
The Original Bruno 1 year ago
Wait... there REALLY are women who aren't feral? I thought they only existed in old sit-coms.
Just to get this out of the way—being antisocial in the true, medical sense is a much more serious thing than what we’re on about here.
Having antisocial personality disorder means being impulsive, irresponsible, and often expressing criminal behavior, being manipulative, reckless, deceitful, and the like. Seeking therapy can lead to recovery.
#8
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
People who beg and demand others to drink with them are no fun at all. Either way, I'll be sipping on a fruity mocktail in silence LOL.
Clown fish 1 year ago
If you need drink and/or drugs to have fun you already boring
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Stephanie Shumaker 1 year ago
I'm almost 50 and have not ever had a drop of booze. It goes against my faith and I have an extensive history of substance abuse in my family.
Kelly H. Wilder 1 year ago
I am almost 40 and haven't had alcohol since I was about 9. Before that my parents gave it to us like Kool-aid. Around 9, I made a deliberate decision to abstain from the stuff for the same reasons. I don't scorn those who choose to drink, but it's not for me. Both choices are for the individual to make, not for one to press upon another (in either direction).
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Petra Schaap 1 year ago
I do drink but dont always feel like it. If people tell me "im no fun" i'll tell them i dont need alcohol to be fun.
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
Then some smart alec says, "you could have fooled me!"
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
Although alcohol was never my drug of choice, I used it amply due to its social acceptance and readiness. Having HCV forced me to abruptly end that habit, but now that I've been living alone and rarely go out, alcohol just isn't necessary.
#9
Fynne 1 year ago
You guys are acting like she’s terrorizing a three year old or something. The daughter is probably grown
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah. The story only makes sense to me if the daughter is an adult. Mostly because the mom is on her way to see her daughter at 6am. If the daughter were a child, then they would live in the same house. OR the lady is divorced and she's showing up to her ex's house in a fox costume??? That's gotta be against the divorce decree. My ex can't just show up here to see the kids when she feels like it. That's not how divorce works. Nope. This story only makes sense if the daughter is an adult.
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StrangeOne 1 year ago
LOL I really want to try working in a coffee shop. Just a small one. Not Timmies or Starbucks. Just a normal one. Then I can meet all the interesting people.
DiscoMamaNea 1 year ago
This is the meaning of winning and priceless all in one mascot run fox run
Blackheart 1 year ago (edited)
Say you're a Gen X parent without saying you're a Gen X parent.
Vanessa Hill 1 year ago
Hahaha. I would totally do this to my son. In fact, I am sending him this.
However, both we and the Instagram page are referring to a different kind of antisocial. It’s about people who very strongly prefer not to be surrounded by energy sucking vampires whose subtle-cue communication facilities are in denial. Or in the literal Nile. They’re non-existent is what I’m saying.
#10
Kate Miller (Aunt Keekee) 1 year ago
I forget that I do this, prompting several dirty looks when I'm in public.
Lunaofthenest (She/they) 1 year ago
My husband is THE WORST (or best, depending on the circumstances) about this.
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Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
Way too often, accompanied by mouthing things when l'm walking on the street.
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
I get called out for that at work. Anyone remember that Cranberries album cover for Bury The Hatchet? That's how it feels working in a store. Remember how in Monster's Inc. that manager lady says to Mike "I'm always watching, Wazowsky. Always watching."? I've had that told to me so many times for the first few months starting.
Hey! 1 year ago
Apparently I did when I received a goodbye gift from my coworkers after being there for a year. I was a minimalist and they all knew it but bought me a really nice crystal vase and when I saw it I was asking myself how I was going to use it. Used it a bit to put toilet paper rolls in it. I either lost it or gave it to someone but I don't have it anymore.
Bruce Horton 1 year ago
One of the unintended consequences of covid masking, forgetting that you're unmasked after making a face when someone says something really, really dumb.
#11
Jared Robinson 1 year ago
Dude that is f*****g beautiful. These are the gravestones we all need.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
If I'm buried or cremated, I'll be buried or have my ashes spread in the same cemetery as my family solely because of my Mom and that is where my sister Velma will be buried. If there is a headstone, I want it to read "In memory of Nikki Gross who hated this cemetery and the family in it except for Mom and Velma."
#12
AtMostTheFabulist 1 year ago
Yes, that is me 100%. My God it's like you have been spying on me in my house.
Kesam 1 year ago
If you want us to stop spying, just cover the cameras. 🤷♂️ (Joking, of course 😄)
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Daria 1 year ago
In my case the main reason for most of it was (and still is) anxiety. The (few) times I forgot about it everything in my life worked like a charm.
Jenna Kay 1 year ago
No, no, just daily life for some of us. It is helpful to know we aren't alone.
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And, you know what, that ain’t bad.
Studies have shown that being antisocial in the light sense of the word can have positive benefits for those expressing their anti-society sentiment.
Take creativity, for instance: autonomy and independence as a personality trait is associated with creativity.
#13
Deborah B 1 year ago (edited)
"Sleep" was implied, but quality and duration were not specified.
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Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
When I get up in the morning, one of my first thoughts other than "I hate everything and I wish I was dead" is "imagine how nice it'll be when you get all the BS out of the way and come back to bed". It keeps me going.
#14
UndertaleLover (She/Her) 1 year ago
Drop something or be the thing that was dropped?
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StrangeOne 1 year ago
I thought it was just my bf that uses am for I'm, .... unless my bf has a secret life as a potato.... that would explain a lot.
bean overlord (she/they) 1 year ago
lmao this is literally me... its shark week and i started crying because my gf shut the microwave door...
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I had been bottling up for weeks, and all it took to break me was a damn commercial.
#15
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I've managed to time all my necessary errands on the same day. It's exhausting, but it gives me a couple of weeks before I have to do it again.
Pretty Pink Sky Photography 1 year ago
What if I just play rain sounds on my Alexa? Would that still work?
keyboardtek 1 year ago
If something prevented my wife from accomplishing all the tasks on her daily scheduler, she then takes her anxiety out on me.
People like artists and scientists—two of the most creative vocations out there—are characterized by lack of interest in socializing.
But that’s not all. Less socializing means more time for everything else. Focus is one of them. The brains of people who work in isolation (i.e., home) don’t do overtime by having to drown out the biggest distraction in the office—other people—which it can’t fully drown out anyway.
#16
Daniel Heys 1 year ago
I don’t understand how someone saying i’m a hugger immediately forces the other person to give a hug like just cuz you are doesnt mean i am
Shesa 1 year ago
Isn't hugger that crab/leechlike vermin that tries to suffocate you?...At least in Alien it is...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
If only "suffocating" was what it's actually doing to you. But yes, it's called a "facehugger".
Load More Replies... Blackheart 1 year ago
I do make an exception for children who want to hug, but you adults can just deal
cerinamroth 1 year ago
Most huggers realise within one second that I am not a hugger. My arms stay clenched to my body, stiff as a board, and I hold my breath until they go away. Only the a*****e huggers continue the hug when they realise I am not OK with it. Then I never see them again.
Petra Schaap 1 year ago
i just ask. I wish in Europe all the kissing people would ask too, because I hate all the cheek kissing, but its viewed as normal.
Jane Hower 1 year ago
I was a touchy/feeling cuddler and married a DON"T TOUCH ME guy - damn biggest mistake of my life. Oh, and his sex drive was low and mine was hi!!! What a mis match
#17
#18
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Stopped paying attention to the news, politics, looking at Twitter and especially those rage-bait shorts on FB (it's all I see other than infants eating, sleeping and crying. What is up with those?). My mental health improved. Payed more attention to the shorts on youtube of slime scoopability ratings, the scary north sea, and discovered the most adorable, lovable, sweetest talking birds EVER. "Mmmmmmwaaaaaa. Oh my goodness. You be a good baby?" "Who let the birds out. chirp chirp chirp chirp" Kiwi The Chatterbox and Gizmo The African Grey Parrot. They both make me smile and laugh.
Sonja 1 year ago
For me it was limiting my focus on cat pictures/videos, how to cook that, Royal Soap and videos on needlework and art. Oh, I also just learned how to make noodles by myself.
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I'm from that bright-eyed generation - in between Sputnik and landing on the moon, Asimov and Star Trek. I can't even begin to describe what wonderous things we thought the future had in store. In my youth, I truly believed class, race, and gender issues would solved. I never envisioned such a harrowing landscape on so many issues.
Dash Junior 1 year ago
Who are the people who can afford to pay full price for 3oz of fresh raspberries?
Never Snarky 1 year ago
I don’t “do” any social media or watch TV. Far less stress and much more time for productivity, even if it’s just napping.
Bill Swallow 1 year ago
... You can get RENT for the equivalent of FOUR BLUEBERRIES!?!! Fantastic!
Another thing antisocial folks have time for is daydreaming. Letting your brain wander off into the distance of your own thoughts, frolicking in the meadows and riding off into the sunset actually stimulates your brain to work in a sort of “default mode”, which is known to improve memory and foster empathy.
#19
ʁɨɂɥɒ 1 year ago
But what if they scream. Should we first tape thier mouth ?
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#20
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
I have menopause, so I foolishly thought that those days were over and behind me. I agree wholeheartedly about God's sense of humor being f****d up. Sometimes, I think that God is still punishing women because Eve ate that damn apple. 😑🙄
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Nikki Gross 1 year ago
I'm almost 47 and in menopause, so you would think I would have at least gotten that in the trade. 🙄
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Deborah B 1 year ago
Coldsores are another great one. "You're stressed and run down? How about a painful sore on your lip as well?" "Flu? Here's another coldsore to keep you company!" "Nose stuffed up, and hacking up phlegm? I know just what won't help at all: have a coldsore."
Rosie Red 1 year ago
I remember when they were called cold sores or fever blisters. Now, people look at you and think ewwww herpes.
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Gustav Gallifrey 1 year ago
What until you get older. 'oh, having some difficulties? I'd like to help with that, but the best i can do is this cancer'.
Imnotthatpanda 1 year ago (edited)
When I turned 40 last year, I started getting acne mainly on my neck and on my lower face, AND got grey hair. How the f*ck is that fair?! I finally went to the dermatologist (I’ve never had acne even as a teen) and it was hormonal acne! I didn’t even know that was a thing. She put me on spironolactone and within a week it was all gone. Now my face stays nice and clear again as long as I stay on the meds, but the greys just keep growing in no matter how many times I dye them !
#21
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
Same but also was told that it sounds like an FU!!! Like wot?! Do they want me to fart rainbows at then instead?!
Load More Replies... Sonja 1 year ago
With hateful greetings... With no regards... Hope this Email finds you dead... Insincerely...
BossyCloud 1 year ago
'insincerely' feels passive enough that it could pass as a typo or a misunderstanding of the word. Clever
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Sans Serif 1 year ago
I simply use 'regards' and don't mean that either...
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cerinamroth 1 year ago
"Kind retards, Martian" is how my old boss Martina used to sign off (accidentally, and ironically - we were a proofreading agency).
MrsGodezira 1 year ago
Ending an email with "See you in hell" is simply a factual assessment of the career situation.
Oskar vanZandt 1 year ago
I put "friendly regards" when I feel like it... Or I'm trying not to come across as my usual passive-aggressive.
It goes without saying that keeping a distance from people also means you can focus on the few relationships that you have and those in turn are higher quality. It’s no longer about quantity, and that means the relationships antisocial people have will have a more solid foundation, they will be healthier and more civilized, and that will ultimately mean that they will be happier for it.
#22
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
Sooo many to choose from: https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=Victorian+Dictionary+of+Slang&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss
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#23
Lauren S 1 year ago
I turn 40 this summer, which I only realized a month ago when I stopped to do the math that I’m not 38, I’m 39. Genuinely didn’t remember. Since then I’ve been preparing myself to maybe consider myself an adult after I turn 40. Things like, it’s been over 20 years since high school and I have a masters degree and a child weren’t enough to earn the classification. What age do you stop looking for the adult in the room? Apparently it’s not 39.
BatPhace 1 year ago
I, too, turn 40 this summer (early July), and I, too, still would like to find an adultier adult, even though I've got kids and a 17 year career I love.... I would also like to find this answer 🤣🤣
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Brian Droste 1 year ago
I am 64. My brain wants to be in the 2o's. My body and memory says otherwise.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Lenny Henry said you aren't a grown up when you have a kid, you're a grown up when your parents die, because then you're not anyone's kid any more
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
That's what my dad says, that you only fully grow up when you lose your parents. Good thing my dad's going to live forever.
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#24
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I gave up years ago. Turns out I was chill with everyone leaving me alone.
Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
Some poor Facebook Friend found me in real life at a party where my social meter was already on empty. She went, "Oh my god, I love your posts! You're so funny! It's so great to meet you in real life!" I just stared and mumbled "Uh, thanks" before awkwardly shuffling away. I feel bad because she seemed to feel bad but I literally didn't have any other speech prepared.
Michael Walker 1 year ago
I'm am also not very good at chit chat but, am able to have very deep conversations with the right person. 10 X Better
BrownTabby 1 year ago
According to the Geezer’s Paradox, the apology is the reason you’re uncool.
And that leads us to our last point—antisocial people tend to have a deeper and more developed self-awareness. Spending time with yourself allows you to reflect on your own individuality and better understand what you do, what you think and what you feel. If anything, solitude is an expression of relaxation for some, allowing for introspectiveness and self-awareness.
#25
BrownTabby 1 year ago (edited)
It basically is if you live in a good country and the item isn’t something that directly touches your äss
Pretty Pink Sky Photography 1 year ago
You should be able to ask for a depression receipt like you can with gift receipts
Rex-a-Roni 1 year ago
...I've actually said that to a sales-boy before. He totally understood and took the return.
Pandasizing World Peace 1 year ago
Amazon has a "No longer needed" option you can check when making a return. Once my depression has lifted, I no longer need the whacked out stuff I ordered when I desperately needed a dopamine fix. Free returns, huge reason to be an Amazon Prime member.
Jennlyn 1 year ago
My shopping gets crazy when I'm manic. So I get my cousin to change all my passwords when she notices my mania kicking in.
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#26
Id row 1 year ago
My depression is a bit more chill than my anxiety so I hate going out unless I have to. Besides, if outside was so great, why did we spend so much time perfecting inside?
BrownTabby 1 year ago
Near my city is a sparsely populated island with an airline where you fly on tiny planes (only 11 other passengers on a busy day) with no security. Would recommend.
Joanne Hudson 1 year ago
I stand in the garage with the door open. If I see a neighbor I wave and turn away so they don't think I need/want something.
#27
Lauren S 1 year ago
Needing to pay bills stops me, stupid earning a living is interfering with my blanket fort dreams.
Dave Ankersen 1 year ago
I work from home.. never thought about taking the laptop into a blanket fort till now...
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Retired now. Sadly I discovered that staying in bed all day makes my head and neck ache.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
I'd love to blanket fort all day except I have this nasty habit of needing food and a dry place to fort out so off to the salt mines I go!
kath morgan 1 year ago
No I think eventually the authorities would stop me, in having me removed from the home I ceased paying for.
The biggest struggle comes from the fact that we’re all, as a species, social beings. Everyone falls somewhere in the continuum between energy vampire and I can’t find you on the internet, but it’s never on the extreme end and you sometimes can’t avoid social interactions. But the key here is to learn to respect everyone’s position in this spectrum.
#28
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
I don't let that stop me. If I went to high school with you (30 years ago)chances are I've forgotten you. It's called getting old
keyboardtek 1 year ago
People either spend the rest of their lives living down their high school reputation, or trying to live up to it.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I don't completely exist. I work on filling those blank spots from time to time, but I'm still not anywhere near close.
#29
the dancing demon (she/her) 1 year ago
I'm still quite young but I thoroughly believe we never were sane
Chez 1 year ago
Anybody else picking up 2020 / Covid lockdown vibes from these kind of posts? If so, I think we are all collectively suffering from the largest mass PTSD episode in history and I hope scientists somewhere are studying it.
#30
Saint_Zipcodus 1 year ago
If I remember correctly, stress and strain is what happens in a piezoelectric crystal. So, very symbolically, my quartz alarm clock runs on stress and strain. Coincidence? I think not.
Toggaph de Dratersi 1 year ago
That was actually quite deep food for thought.
Load More Replies... Oskar vanZandt 1 year ago
If only this had been discovered in the late 60s... I would NEVER have had to pay for lighting & heating my house (goodbye gas boiler and stove) or any activities requiring electricity... Electric car, anyone?
Michael Largey 1 year ago
And I could have sold the excess to the power company and retired.
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So, what are some of your antisocial life takes? Oh… wait… you don’t want to share? That’s fine. You can also click that upvote button and that’s going to be just as good!
But if you want more antisocial sentiments, Bored Panda has more where that came from. Oh, and, of course, the Fear Of Going Out Instagram page.
#31
Mike F 1 year ago
When your knees go you will have an entirely different view of escalators, and elevators/lifts. They will become your friends and you will learn to wear sunglasses indoors, lol.
Load More Replies... Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Generations take turns working their shifts to keep the planet and human society running. Lately, I don't think we've been earning our paychecks.
#32
Phoenix 1 year ago
And then spend the next 5 days going over what you should have said during each individual interaction.
Keira Pendragon 1 year ago
A gal I knew told me about how she used to do that, all the time. Then one day after a talk she gave at an event, she was kicking herself about every little mistake. Her husband meanwhile went out to get groceries and bumped into the person who's organized the event and he gushed about her talk and told her husband to tell her thank you so much and that it was excellent. After that, she made herself a rule. For 72 hours she was forbidden from thinking about social interactions she was judging herself over, after that, if anything was still bothering her she could worry about it then. Didn't Quite work for me. I have too anxious and analytical a brain it won't let go so easily, though it's gotten easier over the years. I can mull it all over, ONCE. I catch myself rehashing Anything and it's time to put it away for later. It's been an excellent brain hack for me, and I have to mull things over less and less the more practice I get at just not kicking my own a*s.
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Hugh Cookson 1 year ago
Too many times, one of the best being when my brother nearly had to sell his house because of my response to his arsehole neighbours during a quiet party he was hosting!! No, I didn't stab them but a 10 minute tirade of inventive obscenities with little deviation, repetition or wandering off the subject without raising my voice or being entirely vile was enough to keep his neighbours both transfixed and horrified. Yes, they did call the police who weren't interested as I'd done nothing wrong - one of said policemen stated (out of earshot of the neighbours) that they were both a pair of anally retentive cnuts ...... happy days.
#33
Fakeus nameus 1 year ago
Wow you must be going through withdrawal. It’s tough but worth it #19minutesinternetfree
Nosirrow 1 year ago
People who use social media are so weird. You don't have enough of human stupidity after work/school?
#34
Mike F 1 year ago
That's right, they can "require an answer" til hell freezes over.
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Agent of Karma 1 year ago
I was forced to change phone providers due to one company buying another. I now have to set up access to a new voice mail. Maybe soon.
Suzie 1 year ago
Had one other day (human)when I heard 1st words .. good morning lovely lady it's mo calling from (insert any generic phone provider )and I was waiting for important call ...my instant unfiltered reply was .."oh for god's sake I thought you were someone.important get a real job"" and hung up ..felt for a moment guilty but it quickly passed so all good
#35
TomCat 1 year ago
A friend was in from out of state and wanted to meet. I told her my car doors were broken and I have to climb through the trunk. She thought I was lying. I wasn't. I'm just poor. Also, I didn't want to go.
Anyone-for-tea? 1 year ago
I’m always scared a tree will fall on my car as I’m driving past if it’s extremely windy!
Cat servant 1 year ago
This excuse is great in the Southwest. If it is really windy it is also probably blowing dust. Sorry can't go out without an N95 mask. I have asthma.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Here in the mountains of North Carolina that is a valid excuse. Tree limbs come down and kill people and destroy cars on the road.
Jennlyn 1 year ago
I'm the mountains of West Virginia too. Oh, and don't forget the fog
Load More Replies... #36
Auntriarch 1 year ago (edited)
The fridge is too near and too well stocked *walks sideways through the doorway*
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cerinamroth 1 year ago
My husband's new job means he works from home too :-o He's found out how much I talk to myself (he didn't know anyone did that) and how I can sit for half an hour in the comfy chair in my little boy's room, sniffing his duvet and crying while he's out at kindergarten. Also how I set myself dance challenges while I wait for the kettle to boil.
Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
I honestly couldn't work from home, only because of ADHD. Sitting there typing, then "oh, I should do a load of laundry"...sit back down, type "oh, I could put in a load of dishes too"...sit back down, type "oh, pup needs to take a potty walk"....sit back down, type "oh, did I take out the meat to thaw?"...sit back down, type...etc.
Agent of Karma 1 year ago
I have people living with me, so that's not going to happen anytime soon.
#37
Sandella 1 year ago
I can't tell if you're laughing because he's too old or too young. If too young then yeh, 33 year olds are as worn out as 60 year olds already given the state of everything being an ultimate clusterfu*k
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Gustav Gallifrey 1 year ago
Then you get to twice that age, and you find that (as a phone) all the software you've been running on is WAY outdated, the camera isn't working so well, there's some damage to the case, and the network you relied on was shut down years ago.
#38
Sky Render 1 year ago
What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paper boy, the evening TV... (Funny how all 3 of those things have either totally or near-totally vanished now!)
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
. They live on....there's a high liklihood a lot of us are their offspring. Postie and milk man I'm looking at you 👀
Load More Replies... Jennlyn 1 year ago
How did our serotonin and dopamine machines wind up like the McDonald's ice cream machine?
Kylie 1 year ago
It's their shake machine that's always being cleaned, no matter what damn time you arrive at the drivethru
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#39
#40
#41
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Can I get a refill on self esteem? Side effects include smiles, warm feelings, and happiness.
#42
StrangeOne 1 year ago
This is exactly me. But they need to add "Being called into the manager's office for misunderstood "unacceptable tone" to be gaslit into believing I'm "being angry with everyone." ... I'm considering a new job this year.
Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago (edited)
Misread 3 as "walking very quietly" and that also applies actually. 3b, we'll say. Anyway, you hate me so I'm gonna go hide and definitely not check in a while if I have any notifications. (eta: I got the good meds for anxiety because genuinely yes)
#43
Candid Panda 1 year ago
It was recently explained to me the difference between activities that avoid, distract from reality or numb pain vs ones that recharge or replenish yourself.
Amy S 1 year ago
Can you please explain this to me because I seem to be incapable of recharging and replenishing?
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#44
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
Lol I did not get this at first! We have a spiral shop near me!!!
#45
Paul Brown 1 year ago
I remember in my younger days going out at 9pm to hit the bars and parties. Now, I'm in bed by 8pm praying I get 8 hours sleep!
#46
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
Or they're thinking about how much better their life would be without my anxious, neurodivergent a*s?
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
I think were talking about the disorder
Load More Replies... #47
Oskar vanZandt 1 year ago
I forget to eat and drink while at work and then suddenly remember why my mood has tanked... Low blood sugar. I'm a diabetic.
#48
Russell Tilling 1 year ago
Autistic is derived from the Greek autos, which means alone. So those who have a little ASD are not failures at being gregarious. We are hard-wired to be successful at being alone. As scouts, genuises, seers and leaders. Well done.
#49
Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
The other night my husband found in our room with MCR playing. He said "okay, you posted this song lyric on FB and now you're listening to it. What's wrong?"
#50
Tyranamar 1 year ago
Do supermarkets have a time when they allow fewer people and have quieter music and lower lights and such ? An introvert's time if you will? I want that, but not at 6AM.
Kylie 1 year ago
I really miss 24 hour Walmarts. You could shop at 3am when there was no-one there but stockers.
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Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Can't say as I blame her. Go ahead and go to Walmart, find the soup you are looking for, I DARE you. SO many choices
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What do you think ?
Anyone-for-tea? 1 year ago (edited)
I feel like the person that made the poll didn’t even read their own article!
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
These polls are literally nothing more than clickbait. Like the "Bored Panda Recommends We’ve got a feeling you’ll like these pieces, too:", bull dung. As far as I'm concerned, neither makes the 'user experience' better, on the contrary.
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Will Cable 1 year ago
When you feel ill and don't want to go anywhere but are bored, then when you are better you don't feel like you want to go anywhere.
Fynne 1 year ago
I always pull out my phone and just stare at the home screen to avoid talking to people
Leesa DeAndrea 1 year ago
I don't like the polls. I don't like the new format. I don't like that the newsletter is much shorter. I HATE the pop up ads. Did you all get a new owner? Or a new boss? The changes suck.
Uncle Schmickle 1 year ago
" Why do you call everyone a*****e ? " " Because it's gender neutral " !
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Don't you ever get tired and feel like giving up? Don't you ever feel like, like you've had enough? Don't you ever get tired of wondering what's wrong or right? Don't you ever get tired and feel like giving up?
Anyone-for-tea? 1 year ago (edited)
I feel like the person that made the poll didn’t even read their own article!
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
These polls are literally nothing more than clickbait. Like the "Bored Panda Recommends We’ve got a feeling you’ll like these pieces, too:", bull dung. As far as I'm concerned, neither makes the 'user experience' better, on the contrary.
Load More Replies... Will Cable 1 year ago
When you feel ill and don't want to go anywhere but are bored, then when you are better you don't feel like you want to go anywhere.
Fynne 1 year ago
I always pull out my phone and just stare at the home screen to avoid talking to people
Leesa DeAndrea 1 year ago
I don't like the polls. I don't like the new format. I don't like that the newsletter is much shorter. I HATE the pop up ads. Did you all get a new owner? Or a new boss? The changes suck.
Uncle Schmickle 1 year ago
" Why do you call everyone a*****e ? " " Because it's gender neutral " !
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Don't you ever get tired and feel like giving up? Don't you ever feel like, like you've had enough? Don't you ever get tired of wondering what's wrong or right? Don't you ever get tired and feel like giving up?
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