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It’s a devastating blow to realize that your significant other, your soulmate, has been unfaithful to you. But sometimes, even if some of the signs are there, you’re not quite sure if they’ve stepped out on you. So, you might decide to bite the bullet and hire a private investigator to make sure.
In a viral ‘Ask Me Anything’ thread, a PI fairly fresh to the job bared all about catching cheaters, as he welcomed people’s questions about the ins and outs of his career. Put on your detective hat, play some film noir music in the background, and scroll down to learn what it’s like to walk a mile in a PI’s shoes.
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#1
Man in the mirror 1 month ago
That's an important lesson for life in general. There is smoke without fire.
RELATED:
#3
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago (edited)
I think this is a liberal use of the term, “stalk.” Stalking has different intentions & is often obsessive. Collecting information on what a person does whilst in public can be creeping without an intention, even though that intention walks an ethical line.
Broadly speaking, one of the biggest indications that your partner might be unfaithful to you is that their behavior suddenly undergoes drastic changes. To be clear, cheating isn’t the only reason this can happen. Stress at work or in their personal life can be the cause, too. But so can an affair.
For example, your significant other might suddenly change how they communicate with you, how they dress, how intimate they are with you, what their interests are, etc.
#4
GenuineJen 1 month ago (edited)
It's like the bed meme. The girl is laying on one side thinking the guy is thinking about other women, but the poor dude is just wondering if horses are ALSO bioluminescent. Bro is just trying to bro.
As per Verywell Mind, other major indications that your partner might be unfaithful to you also include:
- Spending more time away from home
- Becoming increasingly interested in their appearance
- Lying to you
- Avoiding you
- Being indifferent toward you
- Having sudden money issues
- Changing how they use technology
- Accusing you of cheating out of the blue
#7
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
Mione was a gym buff who was going to KFC behind his wifes back :-D
#8
Melissa Harris 1 month ago (edited)
The guy who asked the question should've hired a PI to follow his ex wife. Anyone constantly accusing you of cheating is cheating. Projection.
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
25 years in the business and I totally disagree. By the time people suspect something it's because they have good reason and are usually right.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 month ago
Yeah, I'm not sure the experience of a 27yo who's been in the business for a year is going to be accurately representative
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Changes in technology use are often a big red flag. For instance, it’s incredibly suspicious if your partner suddenly changes the passwords to their phone or computer without sharing them with you.
Something else that’s super sus is suddenly becoming unreachable during certain parts of the day, texting or calling someone in secret, and constantly clearing browser history.
#10
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
I caught someone in the first 15 minutes once, complete with damning evidence. That was a record!
#11
Miracle Max 1 month ago
Coldplay concert. Put it right up on the big screen. Shortest case ever!
Other signs of tech-related cheating to look out for include exercising during odd times and hours on your partner’s fitness tracker, suddenly switching off cloud sharing on devices, and stopping the use of shared devices.
With the ease of access to the internet and social media, these days, affairs (physical and emotional) are easier to have.
#13
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#15
elmortero 1 month ago
I feel like this might be - for me - the most "excusable" motive for cheating. I mean, only if it is "try before you buy" to find out if they are really into same gender. NOT if it is a regular thing. Then it is plain cheating. To elaborate: it might be an ego thing, but that would mean it's not me, it's them...
Verywell Mind warns that unless you have hard evidence that your partner is cheating on you or they tell you, they’ll likely deny any accusations you throw their way.
You may want to consider either couples’ or individual counseling if your significant other keeps avoiding discussions about your relationship. These professionals can help you deal with the emotional fallout and help you decide what to do next.
#17
#18
weatherwitch 1 month ago
Why are people being marked down for commenting on the wage??? It doesn't even state the currency so how do we know???
It’s hard to say why someone cheated on their partner without knowing their personal circumstances. Some individuals have affairs because they’re falling out of love with their significant other or because they’re angry at them.
Others might have serious commitment issues or don’t have their needs met. Still others desire more variety in their life, have self-esteem issues, or simply have the opportunity to be unfaithful, so they take it, Healthline notes.
#20
person (i think) 1 month ago
I never considered that! @Investigate CZ, is that sketch you do? What sort of cases warrant a call to the police, vs not bothering?
#21
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
These are the parts of the job the client doesn't consider. It can be hellish as it isn't always possible to keep running the engine without attracting attention. I live in a cold climate, winter vehicle surveillance sucks. No matter how many layers, you end up frozen to the core.
For example, it’s a potential relationship landmine if you or your partner have unmet needs, whether they’re physical or emotional. If you both have different intimacy needs or feel undervalued, it can lead to one of you looking elsewhere to have them met. Remember, affairs aren’t just physical.
They can be solely emotional, too. And yet, emotional affairs can hurt just as much as physical ones.
According to Healthline, if you’re the one who cheated on your significant other, you have to have an honest conversation with them. You have to respect their decision about whether or not to try to repair your relationship.
At the same time, you have to be honest with yourself about whether you want to continue the relationship, can tackle the core reasons behind your infidelity, and can avoid cheating again in the future.
#25
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
Mental illness, we come across a lot of it. People that lie to try to get you to do the job but actually just want to pay you to stalk. That kind of thing. It will be a firm no in these situations.
Have you ever seriously thought about working as a private investigator? Do you think that you would make a good PI? Why (not)?
Have you ever suspected your significant other of cheating on you? Were your guesses accurate, or were you wildly off course?
We’d like to hear your thoughts about the topic. Share them in the comments at the bottom of this post.
#28
Kelly Scott 1 month ago
I took time off for lunch and sat in my car to read and eat. There was a car right across the street with someone in it. When I got off my shift four hours later, that person was still in their car as I left. I called the local police and they told me this guy was a private investigator. I so wanted to go up to him and ask about his job but I knew this would be a big no-no. This was a really rich town and people kept an eye out for other people possibly casing the houses. That's why I called the police.
#31
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
In both states I live between, a licensed PI is required to be insured and/or bonded.
#32
#43
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
Pretending to want to buy a whole pallet of toothbrushes in a warehouse...you have to think on your feet A LOT and be able to lie your way into difficult locations and be ready for absolutely anything, you never know what will happen or when you can end up.
#49
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
I work in Europe. It depends what you want us to do, for how long and which country.
#50
weatherwitch 1 month ago
I don't know about the rest of us but I'm pretty sure that asking the cheater why they did it would blow the PIs cover 🤔🤣🤣🤣
#53
#54
Investigate CZ 1 month ago
When I handed the legal paperwork over to the guy who got married last week and his new wife had over a million USD of debt he didnt know about (which as he is now married to her he could be liable for) , and had been with another guy for most of their engagement. Marriage was anulled and the good news is that the husband and the guy she had been cheating with becames friends (they didnt know about each other until the investigation which was instigated by the "other" guy because she had pretended to conveniently d** and he didn't buy it, especially as he had just bought he a brand new luxury car)
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Veronica Jean 1 month ago
A year?? He's only been doing this a year. I've known PI's with decades of experience, wonder if their answers would differ at all
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
Curious that it's only after a year of doing it though. I suspect someone with 10+ years may have a wider range of stories to tell.
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Yeah, I appreciated the comments by Investigate CZ more than the OP, as they said they have 25+ years experience
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Lyone Fein 1 month ago
I think this PI was very clear in several of his responses that there is no invasion of privacy involved in what he does. All of his surveillance occurs in locations that are public, where there is no legal expectation of privacy.
T.O.S.o.R. 1 month ago (edited)
Technically, this guy is not a PI. He's an employee of a licensed PI. It takes 3 years to become a licensed PI by his own admission.
Veronica Jean 1 month ago
A year?? He's only been doing this a year. I've known PI's with decades of experience, wonder if their answers would differ at all
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
Curious that it's only after a year of doing it though. I suspect someone with 10+ years may have a wider range of stories to tell.
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Yeah, I appreciated the comments by Investigate CZ more than the OP, as they said they have 25+ years experience
Load More Replies... Lyone Fein 1 month ago
I think this PI was very clear in several of his responses that there is no invasion of privacy involved in what he does. All of his surveillance occurs in locations that are public, where there is no legal expectation of privacy.
T.O.S.o.R. 1 month ago (edited)
Technically, this guy is not a PI. He's an employee of a licensed PI. It takes 3 years to become a licensed PI by his own admission.
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